The Season of Self Love
Finding Forgiveness in the Midst of Betrayal
Welcome back to The Season of Self-Love podcast! I’m your host, Nyomi Banks, and today, we’re diving deep into a powerful and transformative topic: Finding Forgiveness in the Midst of Betrayal. Betrayal can cut deeply, affecting our trust and emotional well-being, but finding forgiveness—both for others and ourselves—is a crucial step in healing.In this episode, we explore what it truly means to forgive, not just to move on, but to reclaim your peace and healing. I’ll be sharing a poignant letter from a listener, Bethany, who’s courageously navigating her own journey through betrayal and forgiveness. Together, we’ll discuss practical strategies for cultivating self-compassion and how forgiving oneself is often the first step toward healing from the deep wounds of betrayal.We’ll also dive into insights from one of my favorite books, The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer, and how it has guided me in my own journey of forgiveness. Plus, I’ll share a self-compassion exercise from my new eBook and workbook, Healing Beyond Betrayal: A Journey of Growth, Empowerment, and Renewal.Whether you’re struggling with betrayal in a relationship, with a friend, or even within yourself, this episode offers the tools and inspiration to help you heal and grow.🌟 Tune in every weekday as we continue our journey of self-love and healing.
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- Duration:
- 37m
- Broadcast on:
- 03 Sep 2024
- Audio Format:
- mp3
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Are you ready to elevate your mindset and embrace the power of self-love or have you come to the right place? Each day we'll dive into topics that will empower and inspire you on your journey to our self-discovery and personal growth. Whether you're looking to cultivate healthy relationships, boost your confidence or find balance in your life, this podcast is here to support your every step of the way. We believe that self-love is the foundation of living and fulfilling your life. And together, we explore practical tips and insightful interviews and transformative stories that will leave you feeling inspired and lonely. So join me Monday through Friday as we embark on the daily adventure of self-love. Tune in to the Season of Self-Love podcast to start your day on a positive note and discover the limitless potential within yourself. Alright, and welcome back to the Season of Self-Love podcast, where we explore the depths of personal healing and empowerment. I am your host Naomi Banks, and today we are diving into a deeply resonant topic, finding forgiveness in the midst of the trail. See, we'll explore what it means to forgive, and not just for those who have wronged us, but for our own peace and healing. And later in the show, I'll share a poignant letter from a listener named Bethany, who's navigating her own path through betrayal and forgiveness. But before we get started, let's take a quick break. Alright, as you've already got us number eight, sit on the Season of Self-Love podcast and we'll be right back. Are you ready to transform your pain into power? Join us this September for the 30-day Healing Beyond Betrayal Challenge from Her to Hope, starting September 1st, embark on a journey of healing and self-discovery. Each day, you'll receive empowering lessons, practical exercises, and supportive community connections, designed to help you overcome the hurt of betrayal and reclaim your joy. Don't let betrayal define your story, it's time to rise, heal, and rebuild a brighter future. Sign up today at the Season of Self-Love Podcast.com. What are some common barriers that prevent people from expressing? I would say remorse, so shaming guilt is a very divided emotional. These are one of the many amazing conversations that we have every day on Monday through Friday, right here on the Season of Self-Love Podcast. With myself and Naomi Banks, as well as our resident therapist, Dr. Will Washington Up, Washington Wellness Institute. Come by. The reality of our relationship, come by. A lot of times it's about freedom for people to look at us, and so that compassion can't enter us. You can hit us all the way to the Season of Self-Love Podcast.com. Washington Wellness Institute focuses on healing always. For me, if I look good, then I feel good. If I feel good, then I share the good. If I share the good, then I celebrate the good. If I celebrate the good, then I live the good. So I can be paid to be my greatest, but I have to learn the good to be the good. So, what does it take to be the greatest? It's as simple as a free 15-minute consultation. Be kind to yourself and heal always. [MUSIC PLAYING] Hey, it's your girl. You got us, Naomi Banks. And make sure you tune in every Thursday night to ask Naomi Bridget to get podcasts. When we talk about everything from love, sex, relationship, comfort, differences, and so much more, we're bridging the gap between them all. And we even talk about spiritual uplifting. You need to stop by. Me and Doc Comark might as well as the BTG proof. You have some amazing guests that come through. And if you're never enough, just make sure you tune in Thursday night. 60 After 60 Standard Time, go to xlami.com and tell them Naomi Bridget. [MUSIC PLAYING] All right, welcome back to the Season of Sephala podcast. I'm your host Naomi Banks, and this my series is all about healing behind the trail. And today's topic is finding forgiveness in the mist of betrayal. We're only here this week. We spoke with Dr. Will about betrayal. And by betrayal, we did about understanding betrayal, as Will we spoke about actually yesterday. And we heard some amazing things that he was saying from that. But before we get into this topic in hand, now I want to do a nice guided meditation. I want us to center ourselves. So wherever you are, I want you to close your eyes if you can. I want you to take a deep breath in. Hold it. Now gently exhale. And when you exhale, I want you to let go of any tension. Yes, let go of any tension with each breath out. Now I want you to imagine that each inhale that it brings peace. And with each exhale, it releases the pain. I want you to feel the weight and lift from your shoulders. And allow yourself for this moment of peace. Now when you are ready, please open your eyes. And let's get ready for the topic in hand. All right, my beautiful people, I want to thank you for sharing this moment with me. And if you're new here to the Season of Stuff Club podcast, this is something that we do every day on Monday through Friday. It's just a short 60-second meditation that we do just to center ourselves and prepare us for the topic at hand. And today, again, the topic is finding forgiveness in the midst of betrayal. All right, so in this first segment, I want to kind of set the stage up and understanding what betrayal is. And I know yesterday we spoke with Dr. Will about understanding betrayal, but again, we're going to speak about this. Owning a rental property sounds like a dream until you realize how much work goes into getting it ready. Determinate competitive rent price, market the property, schedule the showing, screen tennis, draft the lease at a rent collection, handle maintenance request, maintain communication. Whew, sound complicated? Renter's Warehouse is here to take the hard work off your Renter to-do list. Qualify tenants, check. Rent collection, check. Maintenance coordination, you got it. Go to runnerswarehouse.com for a free rental analysis to find out how much your home can rent for. Or call 303-974-9444. Because from now on, the only thing you need on your to-do list is to call Renter's Warehouse. Every day, we rise, challenging ourselves to work for what we believe in. At U.S. Border Patrol, protecting our borders is more than a job. It's a calling. Agents answer the call, working together to keep our country and communities safe. If you are ready for a new mission, join U.S. Border Patrol and go beyond. Learn more at cpp.gov/careers. Understand the excuse me, Betrayal, every day of this series, all right? So, Betrayal rather is from a partner, a friend, or even a coyote. It cuts deep. And it's affecting our trust and our emotional health, but what really, but what really is Betrayal, right? See, in dealing with Betrayal, it's crucial to understand that it's deep impact on our spirit and our trust. Betrayal can shake the foundation of our lives and it could create ways of emotional and psychological turmoil. We talked about it yesterday about the mental that we have with Betrayal and what it can cause. It can be a domino effect, right? But today we're talking about finding the forgiveness in it. So now it's to navigate the waters of forgiveness. It's the true key. And it's not for those who wronged us, but it's for ourselves. So to inspire us, let's reflect on a passage from one of my favorite authors, Michael A. Singer, in a book unto their souls. It says, "True spiritual success is surrendering to the flow of life and surrendering to love, to openness, and to ultimately forgiving those who have hurt us." It's about keeping your heart open regardless of the circumstances. And see, in this thought leads us to embracing forgiveness, even when it feels impossible. So what I want to do right now is I want to share this story with you all. And it's just happened not too long ago, not too long ago, a couple of weeks ago, maybe a month ago. And I was due to go back home for a family reunion. And if you, you know, heard any of my story last season where I talked about some family members had did some things to me that actually threatened my family safety. As well as there's another situation that a dear family, she was a dear family member to me. And it was revealed to me many, many times on what type of person she was on who she was. Because I want to say what type of person she is because sometimes people go through certain things and sometimes they show up in the way that they are feeling in that moment or in that space in that season. Does that make sense? So in that season that she was going to say that now, because of this book unto the souls, because of this book unto the souls. Because once I read the book again, and I listened to it again. My heart started to soften. And I kind of understood more on what the message mean is to stay cracked over open. The ever unfolding rose is a message that always came to me. And it's always the message meant to is that it happens. It doesn't happen to you, excuse me, but it happens for you. And I remember listening to the untither soul. I remember the part that I came in on. I hadn't read this book in a while. And I think it was my second time going to read the book. You know how you read a book years ago, and then, you know, you kind of forget it, you know, because it doesn't really apply to you in that moment. Well, at least you don't think that it applies to you in that moment. But on this particular day, this particular morning, I actually had a dream. And you know, when you're in between that woke and that sleep stays when you're about to wake up. But what when I was about to wake up, I saw this in vision of this. And it was a nice big beautiful shiny black shiny s with little diamond crystals all over it. And throughout the morning, I kept thinking, what does this s means to me? What am I supposed to get something from this s because it was just by itself. It was just like floating there by itself. So, I had this, I was out in the back doing my tea time by the pool with my little yogi affirmation or whatever. And I remember as I was filming, I feel on my phone. A notification that it was saying that Shannon was on there with an interview with L cool J. And everybody is true friend of me L cool J is like my man, my husband in my head. Right. So I was like, okay, well, let me take a listen to this. So maybe this s s s is probably why I should be listening to that right to this right. So listen to it and L is talking about spirituality. He was talking about certain things that was truly hitting me so by this time I'm cooking I'm cleaning. Matter of fact, I've already dropped the baby off at school while I'm listening to the Shannon Sharp show with cool J. So I come back home. That show is over with. So now I'm putting dishes away and I'm in the kitchen again. And I hear something. Another voice to me. And I'm like what? And it was like surrender. And it was it was so loud. And I was like surrender and I knew that I've already surrendered. You know, this is something that we talk about a lot here in also acts my only. So I'm like, okay, surrender that I thought about Michael a sink. And I kind of like, you know, putting to where we hold on. Now, I already read the surrender book several times. So I go, you know, you open up your phone and I go to my audible. Matter of fact, let me go back. Matter of fact, I was watching. I was listening to Gary V. While I was cleaning up, I was listening to Gary V. And within that, it's like it's stopped and I heard surrender out. I heard it loud. And I had to like, what is he talking about surrendering when he's talking about making some money. You know what I'm saying? So that make me stop that pause and go to to the souls was the first one that I saw. And so once I push play on that, it went on to the part of us being able to heal and us being able to be in peace. And it would say that when we are harmed or hurt or by someone, instead of us allowing our heart to stay open, we close our heart up. And when we close our heart up, that builds resentment. It builds turmoil in inside of us. So as I'm listening to seven hours, I'm listening to this actually a few days before I'm getting ready to get on the plane to go back to Chicago. So I'm listening to this and listening to this and it's things that he's saying about forgiveness, things that he's saying that I already know that, you know, you never know what a person is in at that time, but in some part you have to forgive them not for them or yourself, because you're holding on to this toxic feeling that you would never be at peace, because anytime you hear those people voices, I mean voices names or whatever, you get irritated. Now, you can tell me that I ain't never somebody I'm doing y'all wrong, and you hear their name and you don't get irritated. That's still giving them power. They said, I don't want to talk to them now they can't come over here now they can't do that. You still giving them power. They still knows that whatever that they did that that interrupted your spirit, it interrupted your peace that you've been seeking for, and that you've been living in it. And when I was hearing that from him and it was talking about a situation that had just happened during that week. There was a family member, a loved one, and we have, we have been close for many years, but she had given me signs there were different signs from that or her situation that in that moment we actually outlived each other seasons but we were still in that season with each other we were creating our own season that was becoming toxic. Now, I'm gonna be honest, not on my end, but on her end. And when it kept being revealed to me, I kept allowing myself to get slapped with betrayal. Does that make sense. Because you know when when they first show you who they are that's that's hey, but not me I was giving that person the benefit of the doubt because what I was doing it was it was the love and it was the loyalty to family that I had their first off. But then the last thing that she did to me. I felt that it was unforgivable. Because I felt like it was unforgivable. Because I knew the way that she came at me it wasn't warrant, and she was completely wrong. And then I know you say, it ain't about who wrong or right, you know what you write, but she was wrong. All across the board from it. And that's because I forgot about it. So she was able to reach me through that message. And I read her message, and she was reaching out to me. And y'all know what I did. And this is before this happens before the day that I blocked her. She had a chance. Owning a rental property sounds like a dream until you realize how much work goes into getting it ready. Determine a competitive rent price, market the property, schedule the showing screen tenant, draft the lease at a rent collection, handle maintenance request, maintain communication. Sound complicated? Runners warehouse is here to take the hard work off your rental to-do list. Qualify tenants, check. Rent collection, check. Maintenance coordination, you got it. Go to runnerswarehouse.com for a free rental analysis to find out how much your home can rent for. Call 303-974-9444. Because from now on, the only thing you need on your to-do list is to call Runners Warehouse. We wear our work, day by day, stitch by stitch. At Dickies, we believe work is what we're made of. So, whether you're gearing up for a new project, or looking to add some tried and true work wear to your collection, remember that Dickies has been standing the test of time for a reason. Workwear isn't just about looking good. It's about performing under pressure and lasting through the toughest jobs. Head over to Dickies.com and use the promo code Workwear20 at checkout to save 20% on your purchase. It's the perfect time to experience the quality and reliability that has made Dickies a trusted name for over a century. That is what I was saying. She had her chance. So, I blocked that. I did a few days later. This is when I was listening to the soul. And I said, "Well, you know what, I should have responded. I should have responded and I should have given that opportunity for her to come and speak her peace." Because the thing is, and this is my mess up right here that I knew she was going to do something. But I allowed my pride and my ego to get in the way that I just blocked her off completely. So, instead of me just saying, okay, I'm going to move over here for a little bit and I'm going to let her do her thing and fetch her until she, because she is a good person. She just has some shit going on. And I was one of the ones that she thought that she can be able to spill it on. Because I've always been that person that you can come sit at my house and you can tell your story. It will be there with you without judgment. But when she questioned my character, that hurt my spirit and my soul. So, for that, I couldn't forgive her. And she wouldn't look further. She did some other stuff that I thought was very on calls for. But then when I was listening to Michael A. Singer in this book until, so it was just like, okay, I hear you. I hear you. I hear you. But not only was it for that, but also it was preparing me to go home, because there is a situation where some more family members have put my family in jeopardy. They just talked to me, had did everything. And these people, I've never done anything wrong to them. Never ever. But then as I was still listening to Michael A. Singer said, you know what, all of this, everything that I said from the young lady that I was talking to the family member to this, these other family members. Even though it felt like it happened to me. But what it did, it happened for me, meaning that I knew that it was not about me. See, now we can go back to the book of the four agreements. I couldn't take a personal because it wasn't about me. This was them or what they were going through. And they took it out on me. And I know you ever say, wouldn't I, everybody take it out on you. Hey, that's, that's none of my business. The only thing that I'm doing for myself in that situation is I'm learning what's the gift. It was the gift in that. And you asked what's the gift in that. The gift in that is not only learning the forgiveness for them, but also the forgiveness for myself. Knowing and understand that there will be people that I will come to. The strangers to me. And I will have to be compassionate and pathetic to them. Because everybody has a story, everybody is in a situation. Now you think if family members can do that to you, so can strangers. But what it did is it allowed me to continue to keep my heart open. Because I understand what God has given for me and what he told me to do. And me forgiving someone is not letting them get away with it. No. It continues to allow me to grow because now I know who they are. Meaning that I know that they're hurt. They won't be that always. Hopefully they won't be there always. That's the gift that I got. I got that gift for me. So this very serious that we're talking about healing beyond the trail that I can see here and talk to you about that. And it wasn't just the infidelity from other things that I can talk to you about other betrayal. That's another gift that I found from this. And also the gift is that, okay, I only can go this far with this person. I can still love them. I have to go into the next season with them. But also it gives me, okay, signs and red flags so I can see from others. Does that make sense, y'all? But I just want to end up with too long, but I wanted to just share that sure story with you guys why I have wanted to talk a little bit about unto their souls and it's actually a phenomenal book. Like I said, I've read it twice already. Of course, I probably down a line a month or so from now I probably read it again. Because I know what my ultimate, I know what I want. I want peace, peace and happiness. I want to show or inspire and encourage other people for healing and peace and happiness. Alright, so let's go, let's talk about. I got a letter from a viewer from a listener, excuse me, her name is Bethany. So in a letter that Bethany she recently faced a profound portrayal in she writes, "Dear Naomi, six months ago I discovered that my husband and my best friend was having a affair. It felt like my whole world was crumbled. I struggled with trust ever since. So through therapy and a lot of self reflection, I started to heal, but I'm learning to trust in small steps focusing on loving myself more each day. I see Bethany story is one of Ms. Payne, but also of courage as she takes steps towards healing. And like many of us Bethany's journey reflects on a tumultuous path to rediscovering trust and not just in others, but in herself. Tomorrow I'm going to have an amazing guest on Ms. Melissa. If you're listening to this podcast in real time now, this is months and months ago. It's an amazing. Episode that's coming that you will hear. And she actually went through several several different betrayals, but she was able to make her pain into purpose. And when you hear this, hear her story and her becoming more of a betrayal counselor and healing through betrayal. She was a great fit for this series right here. But let me get up the Bethany baby. I want to thank you for your story. And you're not a long enough journey sharing our stories can be very powerful, a very powerful way to connect and heal from anyone else who's experiencing similar feelings. So remember, it's all about taking one step at a time. All right. All right. So let me say this. On the first on the 1st of September, we started a hurt to hold 30 day challenge. So if you haven't signed up already, please do is free. It doesn't cost the thing. 30 days, every day I put up a different video with a different prompt or something to do. And if you haven't started already, you can always go back. The good thing about this hurt to hope is that it doesn't have to be a one month thing. You could continue to go through that challenge, you might do it this month. And then decide 3 or 4 months down the line to do it again. You understand. That's 1 thing is what I like about the challenges that I create. It's just not a 1 time thing that you could keep recycling it over and over and over again. Because as I always say we are always in forever healing. If anything, it can to reignite with you for God or tap you on your shoulder or something like that to push you forward. Okay. All right. So in this segment, we're talking about healing beyond betrayal. So in this segment, we will discuss strategies for finding forgiveness, not just for others, but crucially for ourselves. This is the season of stuff love podcast and we're talking about loving ourselves. And one of the biggest things that we don't do is we don't forgive ourselves that we are very hard on ourselves. So for us to be able to forgive someone else, we have to forgive ourselves right. See, forgiving oneself is often the first step to healing from betrayal. I'm going to talk about a book that I have right now is newly fresh. I just wrote it is out there right now. And I actually wrote it to accompany with this series right now and it's the book is called healing beyond the betrayal. It's a journey of growth, empowerment and renewal. And I want to talk briefly about chapter four. So if you don't have this ebook, go get it right now. You can go to the season of stuff love podcast hit that pick it up. And if you're listening to this in real time right now. It's a nice sales price right now, but it goes right along with it. I have 55 pages 55 incredible pages of me speaking and telling my story about betrayal and how I got through with it as well as strategies that I have. A nice little worksheet with different things that you can do in it. But on this chapter, this chapter, chapter four is focusing on cultivating self compassion. And in this chapter, we discussed the importance for forgiving yourself and practicing self compassion after experiencing betrayal. So let me share a strategy and a brief exercise from that chapter. Okay. You see stuff compassion exercise. We're gonna do this. So what I want to do is I want you to imagine you are speaking to a friend who has experienced what you have. So that friend is telling you a story of the betrayal that you can resonate with right. So what compassionate advice would you give them. What about that. Now turn that advice towards yourself. You see, now with the workshop sheet in the practices. This is one of them. With this one do it will guide you through steps to acknowledge your feelings and also to validate your experience. And if you are listening. You can listen. But also we have a patron where you can now watch. You can watch. I will actually put it. I would actually put what the page look like right here. So you can see it in real time here. And you can, you know, kind of decide if you want to go pick up the book. But also, again, it's for you to acknowledge your feelings. To validate your experience. And it's the gentle shift towards a more compassionate self self view. Again, this is one of the worksheets. You see these tools are designed to help you to rebuild your sense of self and nurture a compassionate heart. All right, my beautiful people. So, again, it's time to find. Find the forgiveness beyond the betrayal in the midst of the betrayal. Why the betrayal is going on. But y'all understand what I'm saying. All right. But y'all understand what I'm saying. All right, beautiful people. As we wrap today's episode, I want you to remember that the power of self compassion and forgiveness in the healing journey. For more in depth guidance, I encourage you to explore chapter four on the healing the healing beyond material workbook, a journey of growth, empowerment and renewal. It is a ebook and a workbook. Like I said, pages with work worksheet pages and dialogue strategies and all of that good stuff as well as we don't have an amazing guest this month. A lot of them that you can there all will be on the website. And even through blogs every day we're blogging every day, we say we every day I'm blogging. And so within that blog, there will be links to them to help as well as, you know, we got Dr. Will here that's always standing by and always looking to help anyone that's looking to better their life as well as myself. You know, I have a nice one on one package for you going through this yourself love journey transitioning to wherever you transitioning from, and just to help you to better to assist you into better loving yourself. All right. Again, my beautiful people. I thank you for joining me today on this journey towards healing because it's very important and know that you are not alone. So I want you to stay tuned for our next episode and I want you to remember to treat to treat your step with the same compassion you will offer to a dear friend. Don't forget to follow us on all our social medias and join our Facebook. All right. So until next time, I want you to keep embracing some love. Thank you for joining us on this journey of discovering and empowerment here at the season of self love podcast. Remember embracing self love is a continuous journey and we're so glad to have you with us. So if you enjoy today's episode, please leave us a review and don't forget to join our community on Facebook at season of self love. Connect with a like-minded individuals who are also on their self love journey. Now, if you have any questions or topics that you like for us to explore, we'd love to hear from you. Email us at seasonofselflove@gmail.com and let your voice be heard. So until next time, take a moment for yourself today and remember you are worthy of love, joy and all the beautiful things that life has to offer. [MUSIC] Owning a rental property sounds like a dream until you realize how much work goes into getting it ready. Determine a competitive rent price, market the property, schedule the showing screen, tenants, draft the lease at rent collection, handle maintenance, request maintenance, and communication. Whew, sound complicated? Runner's warehouse is here to take the hard work off your rental to-do list. Qualify tenants, check. Rent collection, check. Maintenance coordination, you got it. Go to runnerswarehouse.com for a free rental analysis to find out how much your home can rent for. Or call 303-974-9444, because from now on, the only thing you need on your to-do list is to call Runner's warehouse. We wear our work, day by day, stitch by stitch. At Dickies, we believe work is what we're made of. So, whether you're gearing up for a new project or looking to add some tried and true work wear to your collection, remember that Dickies has been standing the test of time for a reason. Their work wear isn't just about looking good. It's about performing under pressure and lasting through the toughest jobs. Head over to Dickies.com and use the promo code WorkWear20 at checkout to save 20% on your purchase. It's the perfect time to experience the quality and reliability that has made Dickies a trusted name for over a century. century.