In Episode 64 of the 1life podcast, Behka White discusses the power of words, drawing inspiration from Don Miguel Ruiz's "The Four Agreements." She emphasizes the first agreement, "Be impeccable with your word," highlighting how words can create or destroy. Behka shares a story from the book about a mother who, in a moment of frustration, tells her daughter she has an ugly voice, leading the child to internalize this belief and stop singing. This anecdote illustrates the lasting impact of our words, even when spoken unintentionally. Behka encourages listeners to reflect on their own experiences, both as the "little girl" who may have internalized hurtful words and as the "mother" who may have spoken them. She acknowledges the difficulty of retrieving spoken words but suggests that sincere apologies can help mend the damage. The episode concludes with an invitation to use our words to create goodness for ourselves and others, emphasizing the power we hold to shape our world through language.
Welcome to the One Life podcast with Becca White. This is episode 64, The Two-Edged Sword. Don Miguel Ruas proposes a practical guide to personal freedom in his book called The Four Agreements. The first agreement is to be impeccable with your word. He says, quote, "But like the sword with two edges, your word can create the most beautiful dream or your word can destroy everything around you. One edge is the misuse of the word, which creates a living hell. The other edge is the impeccability of the word, which will only create beauty, love, and heaven on earth." End quote. By impeccability, he means simply to use our words to only create goodness for ourselves and for others. He goes on to share this story, quote, "There was a woman who was intelligent and had a very good heart. She had a daughter whom she adored and loved very much. One night, she came home from a very bad day at work, tired, full of emotional tension, and with a terrible headache. She wanted peace and quiet. But her daughter was singing and jumping happily. The daughter was unaware of how her mother was feeling. She was in her own world, in her own dream. She felt so wonderful and she was jumping and singing louder and louder, expressing her joy and her love. She was singing so loud that it made her mother's headache even worse, and at a certain moment, the mother lost control. Angrily, she looked at her beautiful little girl and said, "Shut up, you have an ugly voice. Can you just shut up?" The truth is that the mother's tolerance for any noise was nonexistent, and it was not that the little girl's voice was ugly. But the daughter believed that her mother said, and in that moment, she made an agreement with herself. After that, she no longer sang, because she believed her voice was ugly and would bother anyone who heard it. She became shy at school and if she was asked to sing, she refused. Even speaking to others became difficult for her. Everything changed in this little girl because of this new agreement. She believed that she must repress her emotions in order to be accepted and loved." Time for a little self-reflection here. When have you been the little girl? We may not remember the times when we have been the little girl. That is why it is important to be curious about our reactions in situations that don't align with who we want to be. Often times these reactions can be traced to unconscious false beliefs. When we examine the belief behind the behavior, we can understand the agreement, as Ruiz calls it, that we have made with ourselves and understanding our false belief, we can then make a new agreement that allows us to respond instead of react. And when have you been the mother in this story? Unfortunately, we've all said things that we wish we hadn't. The old quote that says, "We cannot get back the sped arrow or the spoken word imply that we cannot fix it." And while it's true that we can't retrieve errand words, there are two powerful words that can offer love with the potential to bridge the gap caused by our offense. Those words are simply, "I'm sorry." For all you mothers and little girls out there, your words are powerful. You are powerful. The invitation today is to create goodness for yourself and others with your words. Until next time, keep living your best life. [BLANK_AUDIO]
