I Messed Up & I'm Sorry.
REAL AF with Andy Frisella
I Messed Up & I'm Sorry
Hey, what's up guys? It's Andy here. I know we don't usually hit podcasts in the middle of the weekend, but I got something important that I want to talk to you about that's been bothering me. You know, I talk to a lot of you younger guys and some of you older guys too often about being a good leader, about taking responsibility, and admitting when you're wrong, correcting the problem. And this is one of those scenarios where I have to be the one to admit that I was wrong, take responsibility, and correct the problem. For those of you that listen regularly, you know that our show, we keep it real. And I'm going to keep it real with you guys right now. I fucked up. I said some things on the show on Thursday that after thinking about it and after having it pointed out to me that I feel very regretful for saying. Embarrassed that I said it, doesn't reflect who I am or what I feel in my heart, and I'd just like to take a moment to address those comments and address the context of those comments and apologize. A lot of you guys probably don't know that when we started our first business supplement super stores in Springfield, Missouri, we didn't have any money. There was no social media. And so we had to get real creative about how we were going to get business. And since we didn't have any money and we didn't have any social media, we spent a lot of time on the ground knocking on doors and quite honestly got told to buzz off and kick rocks way more than we were welcomed in. But one place that we were welcomed in was the police stations. And I spent a lot of time in those police stations back then, making friends, shaking hands. And those people welcomed us. They took us in. They supported us. And quite honestly, we wouldn't have the business that we have today without the relationship of the police that we have had. And this is why for the last 25 years, we have been such strong advocates of the police. It's why we do what we do with our charities. It's why we raise money for backstoppers. It's why we try to take care of the local police any way that we can, whether that be standing up for them when times are hard, like George Floyd or Michael Brown, whether that be bringing them drinks or snacks when they're out handling one of the most dangerous cities in the world here in St. Louis. And we've just always tried to be there. And they've always been there for us too. They've always helped us. They've always been good to us. And I said some things on Thursday's show that are really just not sitting well with me. And if you guys know and you follow me, I've never come on and addressed anything. I let controversy play itself out. I'm used to it. It's what we do here. We talk about controversial things and people think what they want to think. But this is different because these are people that I actually care about. These are people that I care what they think. You know, we like to say, oh, we don't care what people think. Well, there is certain people that you should care what you think. And those are the people that have always been there for you. And we were discussing a situation on the show on Thursday with Tyree Kill. A lot of you guys probably heard it and a lot of you guys have probably seen it. And we all agreed that both Tyree and the police were at fault. And then we started to talk about the dynamic between police officers and citizens and how de-escalation is extremely important. And then we started talking about the dynamic between men and men and men and women. And while I was talking about this, I started to recall a situation that I had happened to me about a decade ago where I was driving down the highway. I had my cruise control on. I was pulled over by two female cops. We had a small disagreement. I wouldn't even say it was an argument about whether or not I was speeding. And I ended up face down on the side of the highway in a suit being berated by these two female officers. And the male officer, a male officer pulled up to the scene. We rectified the situation. He apologized. They apologized. I apologized for my part. And we left. But that stuck with me. And it bothered me. And as I was talking about this situation the other day, I started to think about that situation. And it got me super fired up. And I said some things that I shouldn't have said, especially the way that I set them. And what I said was that every single police officer that's a woman that I've had interaction with was negative. And that women shouldn't be police officers. And that's not true. I was speaking out of emotion. I was thinking about that situation. That's not what I believe. I know that there's tons and tons and tons of amazing bad ass female officers out there that every day put themselves in danger to serve our communities. And yeah, of course, there's some bad ones just like we always talk about with everything. Of course, there's some women that shouldn't be cops. Of course, there's some men that shouldn't be cops. Of course, there should be some standards for who is a cop so that we can create a great relationship between the citizens and the police officers. But I didn't do that. And while I was, you know, trying to get to that point, my emotions took over. And I said that, you know, if it weren't for a badge and a gun, you know, this woman would be punched in the face and it would end her life. And it was the wrong thing to say. It was a terrible thing to say. I was trying to make the point that women escalate situations sometimes because they are armed. And men do the same. It was an unfair comment to me, to single out women. And it came from a place of frustration and anger that I had for many years back. And guys, I fucked up, you know, I shouldn't have said it like that. That's not what I meant to say. It's not what I feel in my heart. And I want to take a minute to, you know, let you guys know that I love you guys. I appreciate you guys. I appreciate the fact of what you do every day. I respect what you do every day. I come on here often and for years, standing up for the police, arguing for better salaries, better benefits, arguing for major reform, for our tax dollars to be poured into our police force so that they can make three, four times as much money. And then also we could solve the recruiting problem, et cetera, et cetera. Like, there's no bigger advocate for the police. And after hearing from a number of you guys about this and the frustration and the disappointment and the pain that it caused, it's just been rubbing me the wrong way. And I feel the need to come on here and apologize to you guys. It's embarrassing to me. I'm embarrassed of myself. I'm embarrassed of, you know, I'm embarrassed that I embarrass my friends and my family and my business partners and especially my employees who work extra hard to do the best job they can. They have nothing to do with what I say. And it's just embarrassing and it's disappointing and it hurts my heart that I've let so many of you guys down. And I think you all know that I wouldn't come on here and apologize if I didn't truly believe that I was wrong. And I think that's part of being a man. I think that's part of being a good human. And to any of you guys that I upset or offended with the harshness of my words, I truly apologize. It doesn't reflect what I actually feel. And I believe that my body of work over the last 25 years should speak for some something about that. But maybe it doesn't. And if it doesn't, I can deal with that too. But I just wanted to come on here and offer a sincere apology, especially to those of you that I know in person, especially to those of you that I've been friends with for years and years and years. I've always tried to do my best to support you. And I know you guys have done your best to support me and the people that we're involved with here and the companies and all these things. And guys, I'm just sorry. You know, I spoke out of my ass. I let my emotions get the best of me. I think you guys who listen to the show, you all know that part of the show is saying the things that other people won't say. But when I say something that I truly feel I said wrong or I do something that I truly feel that I did wrong, I think it's important that you guys know that I will take accountability and responsibility for it. And I will do better. I appreciate you guys. I love you guys. I'm super embarrassed. And I hope there's some grace there for me. But if there's not, I understand that as well. I will still be here for you. We will still be supporting you. We will still be doing all the things that we do. And if you don't feel like you want to do that back, that's okay. I fucked up. I'm trying to do the right thing now. And I promise you, I'll do a better job in the future of being more articulate and more careful with how I say things and take the, you know, the response, the potential response of how I say things into consideration, especially when it comes to people that, you know, I know, this wasn't a personal attack towards anybody in St. Louis locally. You know, I sit in here every day and I watch these videos of, you know, these cops escalating situations and bad things and, you know, sometimes I forget that I'm looking at a small little piece of the pie versus the overall body of work. And I forget that about our country. I forget that about police. I forget that about everything because what I do here is to bring attention to things that are wrong in the world. And sometimes everything appears wrong all the time because of that. And this has been a good reminder for me that that's not the case. And to any of you guys, you know, that may feel differently or, you know, may, I mean, bro, I fucked up and I'm a human just like you guys. I say things that I don't mean sometimes. I say things wrong sometimes. And this was one of those times. And if I've hurt your feelings or I've hurt you, I apologize. And just for clarification, you know, the reason we took that part out of the show wasn't because I was getting heat. I get heat every day for everything, I say. It was because I didn't want people to think that it was okay to speak like that or act like that to other officers, especially the young men that listen to the show. And I think that's the part that bothers me the most is that I let those young men down. I set a poor example and that really, really fucking bothers me. So I apologize guys. I know I fucked up. I hope that, you know, you guys will at least understand some of the context of what I'm explaining and potentially accept my apology. But I'll continue doing me. I'm going to continue doing what we do. I'm going to continue supporting the causes that we believe in and support. And that includes all of you guys at the police and first responders. So thank you for everything that you do. I'm sorry I disappointed you guys. And for those of you guys who are young men, young leaders, young women, young leaders, listen, dude, you know, we're going to fuck up. We're going to make mistakes. We're going to say things. We're going to do things. And don't ever be afraid to own up to what you've done to apologize and try to make it right. You're going to win more than you lose that way. And I'm sorry for setting a bad example to you guys as well. I'll do a lot better moving forward. So I appreciate you guys. I love you guys and I'll see you next week.