The Useless Hotline

Max & George Discuss Early Social Media to Headlining Festivals, Max's Family Loss and more

Shop the new Useless Hotline clothing drop here: https://theuselesshotline.com/collections/the-retro-summer-drop

Welcome to The Useless Hotline hosted by Max Balegde and George Clarke. A place to send your queries and dilemmas no matter how big, small, weird, or embarrassing. We can’t guarantee good advice or that you will leave a changed person, but we can guarantee that this is a useless hotline.

Subscribe and join us every Sunday as we tackle your problems head on and on occasion will be helped by some faces you may recognise on a trial shift.

Submit your queries/ dilemmas here:

theuselesshotlinepodcast@gmail.com

Send a voice note to our Instagram:

https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

You can also listen here:

Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-useless-hotline/id1656588234

Spotify https://open.spotify.com/show/5zHCHHfKk6b3m2VLJA0tIl

Why not follow our socials so you don’t miss out on any of the latest news?

Tiktok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@theuselesshotlinepod?_t=8XhEHip5lET&_r=1

Instagram:

https://instagram.com/theuselesshotlinepod?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Hosts Socials:

Max’s YouTube:

https://youtube.com/@max_balegde

George’s YouTube:

https://youtube.com/@georgeclarke

Max’s TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@max_balegde?_t=8XhDjkFsoX0&_r=1

George’s TikTok:

https://www.tiktok.com/@georgeclarkeey?_t=8XhDmpUzS21&_r=1

Max’s Instagram:

https://instagram.com/max_balegde?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

George’s Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/georgeclarkeey/

Max’s Twitter:

https://twitter.com/balegde_?s=21&t=ovlG85OFyGF-u8ON3SuFMg

George’s Twitter:

https://twitter.com/Clarke13George

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Duration:: 1h 16m
Broadcast on:: 08 Sep 2024
Audio Format:: mp3

Hey, Prime members, are you tired of ads interfering with your favorite podcasts? Good news with Amazon music. You have access to the largest catalog of ad-free top podcasts included with your Prime membership to start listening. Download the Amazon music app for free or go to Amazon.com/addfree podcasts. That's Amazon.com/addfree podcasts to catch up on the latest episodes without the ads. Explaining football to the friend who's just there for the nachos, hard tailgating from home like a pro with snacks and drinks everyone will love any easy win. And with Instacart helping deliver the snack time MVPs to your door, you're ready for the game in as fast as 30 minutes. So you never miss a play or lose your seat on the couch or have to go head to head for the last chicken wing shop game day faves on Instacart and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three gross reorders offer valid for a limited time. Other fees and terms apply. Hello, I'm Max Bellag day and he is not George Clark, pan over to the MTC, please. Because he's not here. He doesn't care about me. He doesn't care about this podcast and he doesn't care about you. That's exactly what he asked me to say today. So you know that it's the truth. No, I'm only joking. He is running late. He's on a shoot that keeps getting pushed back. So instead of just waiting around for him to to get here, I thought, I'm just going to start the podcast by myself and have a bloody good time with you like whilst we waited. That's OK. So he'll be here soon. But in the meantime, if you've not watched our redding and leads blog, you need to watch it. That was like some of the most fun wildest times of our entire life. We're going to fully go over it when George gets here. It was so mental. And I feel like the vlog encapsulates pretty much everything, more or less everything that happened that entire time. Some things that I'm quite glad to cut out, to be honest with you, I actually had to say to like our editor at one point, I was like, please, can you just take that part out about me? Like, I know that I look like a mess a lot of the time, especially after I've had a drink, but that is even cutting it too far for me. So they did that, which was very nice. I've actually been really ill ever since redding and leads. And I need to tell you how depressing my life has been because I literally, guys, listen to this, OK, get back from redding and leads. I'm like, Oh, do you know what? I deserve a fancy spa. I'm going to take Andrew. We're going to have a lovely time. We got there. It was, I can only be described as like hokey, pokey, ookey, spooky, like hallowookey, like dead bugs everywhere. It was very, it was one of those places that are really fancy, but like very medieval type of, not many, that's very dramatic, very like old sort of vibe. So like there was dead bugs everywhere, a little bit cobwebby, a little bit like just not that modern. But do you know what, we had a lovely time, we relaxed, it was all good. And on the way back that next morning, I started to feel a bit sick and I was like, Oh my God, yeah, like I must be coming down with something. But do you know what? Positive mental attitude, get a PMA out there. We're going to keep on going and I'm going to have a banging week. It's going to be great. Driving home, we got passed a McDonald's at the services and we were like, Oh, like we, I'm not really a McDonald's, my sort of person, to be honest with you. But they had that new grimace shake that went viral all over the internet. And the, the way that it went viral was that you're supposed to drink it and then like die, have you seen that column? But no, I'm clearly not drink it and die. Yeah. So like people made videos where you are supposed to drink the grimace shake and then like you die straight after and like you start forming at the mouth and all this stuff. So it, it went completely viral, like in America months ago. So me and Andrew were just like, all right, like, let's, let's try one. Like we've got nothing better to do because we saw like so many people with it. Tried it. My mum calls me and tells me that they're putting my dog down. And then you died, I died. Like not funny, but also what the big fat fuck. Do you know what I mean? Like timing, like I cannot explain to you how much it was me and Andrew never got to McDonald's ever, ever, ever. We were at the services, I'd gone for a wee and then we were like, oh, let's, let's just try this milkshake. See what it's all about had one sip of it. Oh, my mum's calling. Wonder what's that? It's about Josie's having to be put down today. My mum's sobbing on the phone. I burst into tears, the car burst into flames, literal mass death, mass extinction homicide, all because of this milkshake. I could not believe it. That didn't the last part. I exaggerated if you couldn't tell. But Josie is dead, Josie is dead. My beloved dog, Josie, that one tongue legend. If you also, by the way, it's really nice being able to talk without George, just telling me to shut up. I just realized that, I mean, obviously I'm sure. You've not been cut off. Yeah, I mean, obviously it's weird that I'm just talking by myself, but it feels quite quite liberating that he's not interrupted me with a stupid remark, a stupid joke, or just outright told me to shut the fuck up and that he doesn't care about what I'm saying. Give it time, the episode's young. Oh yeah, I'm sure he's going to be here in like five minutes and that's going to start. But yeah, Josie, RIP, dropping RIP in the chat, please guys, because she is dead. Bless her heart. Like she's so, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, as well. What is going on with you? Sorry, I'm a little bit crazy. I've not, I've not had this much freedom in a while. I've got my other dog, Jerry. So if you don't know, Josie and Jerry, my childhood dogs, both 14 years old, they're born one day apart in separate litters and they've had like several children together throughout the years that now all belong to like my family members and friends and stuff. So like very important, matriarchal dog is Josie, who was #died. So sad times, but Jerry, our other dog, was always very much like he would let Josie do everything. She was a bitch, I love this death. She was an absolute bitch, that dog. Oh my god, she would like growl for food, like bark for food. She didn't want to go on walks, she would just sit there and do nothing. And Jerry was always so polite, would be quiet, like keep himself to himself. Since she has passed away, Jerry has started doing the things that she would do to the point where we googled it because we were like his behavior is so unnatural, so bizarre. And apparently when there's two dogs, if one of them dies and the one that dies was deemed by the other dog as the leader, when that dog dies, the other will start to pick up its characteristics. No way. Because basically in Jerry's dog brain, he might have thought the only reason he ever got food was because Josie like fought for it. Right. So now he started fighting for food. No way. Yes. And like the only reason that they would go on walks is because like Josie would fight for it. So now he started like doing all this stuff that is completely out of his character. But how mental is that? That must be so weird for your mum to say. Oh, she's baffled by it, like every time. But then it's also so sad because like every time he does something that Josie would do, my mum bursts into tears, big up Joanne, she's a bit of a wimp, but that's tight. But I just sat there. Yeah. But yeah, R.I.P. Josie, very sad times. Also from Reading in Leeds, I am just realizing that I'm still wearing it. It's going to say, have you taken that off? I've not taken it off. That is fucking rank. Isn't it? So for our audio listeners, I am wearing a Taylor Swift-esque friendship bracelet that says the word useless on it. And I didn't realize until yesterday that I'd not taken it off once. I didn't even realize that I was still wearing it. Disgusting. I did this shoot yesterday with like these, like a bunch of these comedians from TV. And one of them took the piss out of me. Because I was like trying to make a joke. They basically assumed that I was gay. And then I made a joke being like, what do you mean? Like, what are you talking about? And they were like, oh, the bracelet. And I was like, fair enough. Yeah, I gave it away. But yeah, I've not taken it off. So whoever gave this to me, thank you very much. And this also Swiftly takes us to see what we've done. Swiffly. Onto our next segment that we're going to do whilst George is not here. Where Callum is going to test me on my Taylor Swift knowledge by doing a Taylor Swift quiz. Firstly, cue all the people that hate Taylor Swift. Guys, this is your opportunity to call me out and be like, Max is a loser. He's a fake. He doesn't even know anything about Taylor Swift if I get anything wrong. So equally, it's a win-win for all of us. Okay, start off. There's 10 questions. Oh, what's your prediction on how many you're going to get right? Eight, I think minimum eight. I think if you don't get eight, you can't call yourself a Swiffy, to be honest. Oh, shit, okay, okay, okay. Eight minimum. Imagine you get seven out of 10. I think you're going to get six. Suck you. Suck you? What? That's fit. I mean, if you won. That's good. Don't know. That's more of an aggressive compliment. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, please get on with the quiz. Alright, question one. What is Taylor Swift's middle name? Alison. Okay, I was going to give you options. The mobile choice. Don't need them. Alison. I don't need them. A, brilliant. Okay. Am I right? That is correct. Hey! Oh my god. Uh, which of these songs is from Taylor Swift's debut album? Oh, shit. So we have A, love story. Yeah. B, teardrops on my guitar. C, we are never ever getting back together. And D, shake it off. Teardrops on my guitar. No, which ones? Which of them? Teardrops on my guitar. Is it just that one? Oh, is there multiple? Why don't know? I'm not too sure. I'm pretty sure it's just teardrops on my guitar. Okay, here we go with B. That is correct. Yay! Oh my god. Right, um, all my fellow Swifties out there. Yeah, cheer for me. And all the Swiftie haters. Ha ha, I'm proving you. In fact, no, you probably can still hear it after this. That's fine. Yeah, probably. Yeah. Question three. You are two for two currently. Oh my god, I'm so talented. For which album did Taylor Swift win her Grammy Award for Album of the Year? Oh, okay. Is it A, Taylor Swift? It's 1989. B, fearless. C, speak now. Or D, 1989. I'm going to go 1989. You knew that straight off the bat. I did know that. And that is wrong. Fuck off. It's wrong. Wait, what was the question? Oh, wait, wait, I can't go back. What was the question? Which one did she win her Grammy performance for? I can't go back, but I think at the end, it's probably going to give all the answers. Right, okay. So we'll-- Would she definitely won the Grammy for Album of the Year for that album? But maybe I missed her the question. I don't know. We'll go back and we'll figure out the answer. I mean, I am right, but I admit that-- Apparently, you're not. You've got one incorrect. I must have missed her the question. Damn, you idiots. You fool. You fool. You don't deserve to wear this bracelet or a cowboy hat ever, ever. You're a stupid idiot boy. Oh, right. Next question. You really don't. Okay, fine. Next question. I've punished myself now. Question four. Which city is not mentioned in Taylor Swift's song Welcome to New York? Oh, gosh, okay. Which is not mentioned. Okay. A, Brooklyn. B, New York. C, Tokyo. D, man, Han. I'm not going to lie. I'm not going to say city. The question says city. Yes, city. So this-- I think even I can work this out. Give me the options again. A, Brooklyn. Yeah. B, New York. Yeah. C, Tokyo. D, man, Han. Now, what I will say is that-- Two of those-- Both Brooklyn and Manhattan are in New York. And the song is called Welcome to New York. So-- And it's only one of this city that's mentioned in there. So I'm going to say Tokyo. I am going to agree with you. Yeah. And I don't even know the answer. And that's correct. Yeah. Okay, so you are three out of four, correct. What is the name of Taylor Swift's third studio album? Oh. Is it A, red? B, speak now. C, 1989. D, reputation. Speak now. Her third studio album. Speak now. Wait. Let me think. Oh, confer with yourself. Taylor Swift. Fearless. Speak now. I'm going to say speak now. Speak now. Yes. And the answer is-- Speak now. Yes! So you're four out of five. You're doing all right. You're staying on target. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. All right. We're halfway through. Which actor appeared in the music video for Blank Space? Is it A, Tom Hiddleston? B, Joe, Alwyn. That's an interesting-- Joe, Alwyn. Yep, that's what I said. That's right. C, Sean O'Pry. I don't know who that is. Neither. And D, Lucas Till. Oh, shit. I don't know who that is either. I think that the first two are ex-boyfriends of hers. So I'm going to say that it's not them. Right. So I'm going to guess between the last two. What are the names again? Sean O'Pry and Lucas Till. Lucas Till. Yes. Oh, my God. That reminds me of working at the Chippy. Um, I'm going to say Sean O'Pry. No idea who he is. Please say that I'm right. Come on. You are right. Holy shit. No way. Oh, my God. That was the best guess ever. Oh, my God. You're so lucky. I'm so tall to me. Question seven. Oh, I love this. Which of the following songs did Taylor Swift not write alone? Oh, okay. We have Dear John. Lover. Betty. And me. Which did she not write alone? Oh, me. Oh, okay. Straight up. Great old song by the way. Oh, that is correct. Yes. Oh, wow. Yes. That's well known as like everyone's least favorite Taylor Swift song. The people who like Taylor Swift, that's the least favorite song. It's not very good. Yeah. And that might be why I couldn't write it alone. Yes. Maybe. Fair enough. Maybe. We are currently seven questions in. You've got six right. Oh, my God. I'm listening to this. I'm killing this. This is great. My God. Question eight. In which year did Taylor Swift release her album 1989? Is it 2012, 2013, 2014 or 2015? Now, I want to say I feel like reputation came out in 2017/18 and it was like a full year where she was nowhere to be seen after 1989. But then there was, so there was like a year of success after 1989. And then everyone hated it for a year. And then she released reputation. So what are the, what are the things again? 2015, 2014, 2013 and 2012. Oh, my God. So I'm stuck between 2014 or 2015. I'm going to say. 2014. Oh, I think it's 15. I'm going to say 2014. I'm locking it in. Locking that in. Final answer. Yeah. We're going with 2014. That is correct. Yes. You are seven out of eight. Oh, my God. Oh, oh, okay. Question nine. Yes. What is Taylor Swift's favorite holiday? So your options are A, Christmas. B, Halloween, C, Thanksgiving or D, Easter. What's Taylor's favorite holiday? Now, this is something a real fan would know. So she grew up either on or next to a Christmas tree farm. And she wrote a song called Christmas tree farm. And she's spoken a lot about how Christmas was a very, very special time of year because of that for her really family. So I'm going to say Christmas. I'm going to say Christmas. Final answer. Locking in A for Christmas. Locking in. That is correct. It's correct. Yes. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You are eight out of nine, correct. Wow. This to get nine out of 10. Hold on. Let me make sure I pick a nice question. And I want to. And I want to revisit that last question as well because. We can. OK, because I feel like I misheard it. I feel like it was. Yep. Right. OK. We can do the last question. Do the last question. Let's do it. Oh, my God. Come on. Come on. A lot has been right in the most. I've put my reputation on the line here. See what I did there. Gwenk. I'm very stressed right now. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Am I going to do it? Am I going to get it right? Is everyone going to punch me? Is everyone going to throw cowboy boots at me? Is everyone going to take away? Hold my friendship bracelets. Is Taylor Swift yourself going to come and punch me in the face? I don't know. Like, what's about to happen right now? OK. Are you ready for question 10? I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. Now, I've got a lot of confidence in you with this one. Oh, my God. I think you should know this. Question 10 for nine out of 10. Taylor Swift has two pet cats. Shit. And one of them has a name beginning with M. But what's the cat's name? Now we have A, Meredith. B, Mindy. C, Milo. Or D, Maggie. What is that cat's name? Guys, I don't know the cat's name. Shut up. But I don't, I don't, I don't. I've seen the cats. I've heard a-- You know the names. I've seen videos of the cats. I believe my strongest instinct in my heart is telling me Maggie. My strongest instinct is telling me Maggie. I feel like I've heard her say that before. I feel like I've seen it. I don't know where, I don't know why. I don't know how final answer Maggie. Final answer. We are locking in D, Maggie. Oh, my God. Incorrect. Oh, no. What was it? What was it? Better the final hurdle. What was it? Milo. Meredith. Oh, I've never heard her say that before. No! But you did get eight out of 10. I still got eight and I'm thinking that. You are a true Swiftie. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you, I predicted that. And I believe that that one, the other one that I got wrong. Yeah. So I've heard it. So let's go back to it. I think I heard it as like what, like what has she won album of the year award for the Grammys? But did it say for the first time? Let me just go to it now. If it did, then I'm pretty sure that that-- So the question was for which album did Taylor Swift win her first Grammy award for Album of the Year. You said-- I said 1989. You said 1989. That's incorrect. I believe that the answer is, is either speak now or fearless. Those are two options. Oh, I'll do both options. They are both options. I'm going to say-- And the pressure's on. This to bump it up to a nine out of 10. Oh my god. And nine-- Imagine getting a nine out of 10 on a Taylor Swift quiz. I'm going-- I'm going to say-- I believe in you. I'm going to say speak now. I'm going to say speak now. You're going to say speak now. I'm going to say it. I'm going to say it. And I think it might be wrong, but I'm going to say it. You're going to say speak now. The nine out of 10. Is it speak now? It is not speak now. Is it fearless? It's fearless. No! I can't give you that point. Oh well. Do you know what? You did well. Round of applause. I'll take it. Thank you. Thank you live studio audience. And speaking of live studio audiences, let's go ahead and take a little break for George Clark to get off his ass. Get off his big, hairy, sweaty ass. And maybe actually show up for work. How about that? Let's see. And then we'll be speaking about our live studio audience at Reading and Leeds. It's pretty late. We're going to have to dock his pay for this. We are in-- Oh, trust me. He's getting zilch. Is he an author? From this episode-- Listen, listen, you view us out there. Just not every advert that you watch, it's going in my pocket. Because he's not getting niche. He's getting a red warning. He really bloody is. He's getting a disciplinary. So catch you in a minute, baby. Love you. Right, everybody. George is back. Woo! He finally decided to show up. Oh, I bet you've spoured load and load and nonsense about me, haven't you? Do you know why? Oh, George is making me wait. Yeah, because I'm Christian Max, maybe. Are you lucky I'm even letting you shag me? Yeah, some of them don't even allow that. Oh, god. What do you like? Yes, everybody. George is back in the studio. So is my rest of me. I'm not just yet. He's finally decided that he cares about you all. And about time in the words of Sarah Harding. Oh, in the words of Lizzo. It's about damn time. In a minute I'ma need a sentimental man or woman to count me up. Count me up with it. I said fuck me up as well. Hey, I don't know what the words are. If anyone's offering. Hey, I said fuck me. I don't know what the words are. I've got Busy. I've also got Busy. Oh! And I put a part me up. Two shots in my car. Oh, what do I get now? Oh, is that what I feel right now? Oh! What do I get now? What do I get now? We better stop all those. We'll get copyright strikes. OK, fair enough. No, listen to that. George, how's life been? Don't care. Turn up the music. Don't care. Turn down the lights. I've got the feeling. Oh, let me all run. OK. OK. All right. It's about damn time. Give me a minute. OK. I'm Anuna. So we went to Reading and Leeds Festival. And on the way, we were told that the tent that we were supposed to be performing in a big stage had blown away. Cue visual cue. [GASPS] [LAUGHTER] And then, whilst we're driving up-- so we find out this information as we are driving up. We say, are we going to be able to form? Are we-- we say, are we going to be able to perform? What is happening? They say, right, listen, keep driving up, and we'll see what happens. When we get there, we have thousands upon thousands of adoring fans that are devastated because they are not able to see our show. So as me and George hop out of the van-- Cue visual aid. Oh, this looks like a penis now. So I-- Oh, OK. I mean, quite fitting. Yeah. We had our trousers down. We did. We did. We did. Oh, you did. You did. Actually. We literally did have our trousers down, and we fell out of the van. We got to Leeds, and we said, our fans are not going to be able to see our show. But that doesn't mean that we can't see our fans. So we posted on our story that we were going to do a meet and greet, an area, a location to meet at a certain time that was a big empty stage because it had had some technical issues with it as well. And as we arrived there, we heavily underestimated the amount of people that were there. Cue visual aid. And we got arrested. More or less. We didn't actually get arrested. But that's what he's drawn. That security guard would have loved to have arrested George. He would have. So he was few minute in. We got shouted out big time by the security at that stage because in their mind, the loads of people showed up, and there was nothing supposed to be happening at that stage. So they thought someone's lying. Someone's trying to bamboozle all these kids. And little do they know, bamboozling kids is George's favourite pastime. OK. So we ended up being taken backstage, and we basically got reprimanded for our behaviour. So we got back to our dressing room, very worried, very anxious about the future. And we find out that not only did Readin and Leeds decide that they didn't mind what we did, but they offered us a spot on that very stage that we did that meet and greet at the illegal meet and greet that just so happens to be the second biggest stage that Readin and Leeds had to offer. And they were going to give us an hour slot the next day. Cue visual aid. That made us feel happy. It did. It did. It did. For the audio listeners, by the way, George is drawing pictures as I go. I mean, OK. Happy all. Happy. That just looks like a rug rat. Yeah. Quite true to life. So what did we do? We did what any two sensible people will do the night before they have the biggest show of their career. And we went out and got absolutely shit first. We had a brilliant time, very inappropriate. And we woke up the next morning, ready and rearing to go. We took some hangover sashes, popped a few paracetamol, drank a vodka lemonade, and made our way back to the festival as our queen was awaiting in a glorious chariot. And she drove us to the stage. Cue visual aid. That's not, you've jumped the gun. OK, wait, wait, wait, what are you doing? Apparently we've missed the part of the story. No, we haven't missed the part of the story. You just jumped the gun on the bigilade. Right. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Wait, so which, what, what are you doing? No, we just, I'm trying to understand what it is that you're drawing. I've got us on stage, carry on. Oh, on stage. Oh, it's on stage. All right, cool. So carry on going. Oh, we're in your chariot. So we're in our chariot. We're riding galliantly to our stage. It was actually one of the coolest experience of my life, being driven in a buggy. High speed. And we could see our crowd forming from where we drove. And that was really cool. And then we arrived at the stage. And I turned and I said to George, look, it's a huge stage. It's very wide. It's a lot bigger than the stage we were supposed to be performing on. If there are between five and 10 roles of people, we have smashed it. And we should be very proud of ourselves. Because that would mean that a couple hundred people had shown up. And we were quite nervous that, you know, because it was so last minute. And, you know, some people might not have internet connection, might not have seen the announcements that were going to be changing. It was also quite early the next day. So some people might not even be awake yet. We were anxious. And then we stepped out on stage to 5,000 plus people Q-visual aid. Wow, let me see. That's quite good. That is quite, that's like exactly like what it looked like. You're an artist. And I have the black eye as well. Yep. Look at that. Did you feel the black eye? That's great. No, I love that. Oh my God. I tell you that the camera meant on stage zoomed in on your black eye. I know as soon as I brought attention, because basically when we got on stage, we didn't know if we were going to have, like we knew that that stage had a lot more capabilities than our stage. But we didn't know number one that we would have to have a visual that big. So George last minute made one on Snapchat, which was hilarious, you might have seen the videos. And number two, we asked if we could use the pyro techniques and they said no. Well, no, you asked me if I can ask them, I said no. And number three, they had these cameras that like every time you see a performer and they like zoom in on the first whilst they're performing, they had those. But we didn't realize that they were on us whilst we're on stage. So then I said, oh my God, can you see my black eye? And then they zoomed in on my black eye, which is really rude. But it is what it is. But it was the most fun ever, wasn't it, George? It was really good fun. Yeah, had good time. It was so fun. It was really, really just very heartwarming to see you all out there. It was. Expect to see that it was shocking. I was genuinely shocked. Like when we stepped out, both of us just looked at each other and we were like, oh my God. I peed a little. I think I probably did. It was quite bizarre being on that big of a stage. Because obviously our show is meant for a smaller stage than that. Yeah. And like having so much room to just like run around and do whatever. The amount of activities was it was endless. It was, it really was. And we chose get packed out and drink. Bitch. And when we did the t-shirt cannons at the end, that was great. I loved that. I mean, but I always love it when you get your cannons out. Oh, I do. And when you lose your t-shirt. So please comment down below if you actually got a free t-shirt from that auto talk bag because we're firing also. Yeah, you've either got a pre t-shirt or you got fucked mate. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's just a useless hotline live show, baby. That's the rules. Um, so then what did we do, George? We went down to Reading, straight away. Oh, yeah. Dead, but. Wait, there's more. By the way, I found out today we got a speeding ticket. Did we? Yeah, we actually got a speeding ticket. No. Yeah, I look at the email today. Oh, my God. As it were, like just right at the wrongs. Leads, yeah. Oh, screw you, Leads. Actually, I love you, Leads. But anyway, sorry. Interrupts were funny. Um, we were tearing it down to. Yeah, we traveled down to Reading. Because I was in Ash Holmes Show. If you know Ash from our podcast or other things. Well, well, renowned for being a podcast guest on the US hotline. And, um, yeah, we got the, we had lots of fun, had lots of drinks, and then we went out that night. And I was absolutely twatted that night. I had a really good time. Oh, you were both angled. Because it wasn't that, that when it was Lana Del Rey and Fred again. Yeah. Oh, I was. Oh, Fred once more was a very good actually. Really good, wasn't it? I was on your shoulders. I've got a picture of you on Jack Remington's shoulders. I was on Jack Remington's shoulders. You were indeed my friend. Oh, you were hopping on everyone's shoulders. One point, you were on Fred's shoulders. Really? Yeah. Again. Oh my God. That's wild. Um. Explaining football to the friend who's just there for the nachos. Hard. Tailgating from home like a pro with snacks and drinks everyone will love. Any easy win. And with Instacart helping deliver the snack time MVPs to your door, you're ready for the game in as fast as 30 minutes. So you never miss a play or lose your seat on the couch or have to go head to head for the last chicken wing. Shop Game Day faves on Instacart and enjoy zero dollar delivery fees on your first three gross reorders. Offer valid for a limited time. Other fees in terms apply. Yeah, that was so much fun, wasn't it? Yeah. What else happened that night? I can't remember. Oh my God. I am on. I'm going to put that one on screen. Pandy. Shoulder. I look like such a nonce. Like in what? I like them glasses number one. My everything about it was just like everything about him looks like. It's true. I want to accidentally sting him on stream. What does that mean? Yeah. When do they do non-stings? Yeah. A little streamers are doing it these days. Don't worry. You wouldn't know. I wouldn't know. But yeah, that was lots of fun. And then got up the next day. I went to the hot tub. Oh my God. Yeah, you did. And you went to the gym. Oh, yeah, my God. Yeah, I did. And you were boring. I was fun. I went into the- I hit so many exercises. It was crazy. I went into the swimming pool and the hot tub. What? That's so much water around your body. And then realized that I had a pocket full of mawams. The like strips. Oh, and your pocket full of sunshine as well. Yeah, I got a pocket, got a pocket full of mawams. And I ate them. Even though they'd been in the frickin' water. Oh my God. Watery mawams. Would it kill you to add any- That can go in the title. Add something. Add something to this. Instead of just mocking every single thing that I say. How about you add something? How about that? Okay. I've got a few things done. I'm ready. I'm ready. Summer is over. That's quite a big one. How are you feeling after summer's been over? It's September now. It's September not still. No, it's autumn, isn't it? Technically, is it? We're in full, man. Okay. Yeah, summer's over. We're full and up. Summer's over. That's a biggie. You got seasonal depression yet? Not yet. You wait, pal. It's coming. I definitely feel depressed. Turn the lights out and I'm sure I can cry. What? I wish I could turn the lights off right now. Where else have I got? Down here. Foreign Accent Syndrome. Saw another one of them recently. Famous one of the women in Cornwall. What's that? Foreign Accent Syndrome. The one that she thinks that she just wakes up one more and she's got a different accent. Where she bumped her head and then when she came round, she spoke fully English but in a Chinese accent and she'd never been there before. So it just sounds like she's constantly being racial. I've seen that. There was another one where I saw some woman who was, there's loads of them. There's a woman who lives in some sort of like Lake District town and she speaks French but doesn't speak French. She just speaks in a French accent. That's the best bit. It's that in their head, they're now this accent. But is it not just a fake though? No, it's a genuine thing. But from what I've seen the people that do it have been like, it's an actual thing that's happened all over the world. Really? Yeah. Big time. That's wild. Maybe you were hitting. Work up. Besides a rectangular twat with. Are you fucking joking? Are you fucking joking? You are the twat. You are the twattiest twat, twatting.com/bigfattwat. How dare you? You have a lot of nerve, George Clark. Carry on. I've got it. What else is on your shit little list? Come on. Got a game for us to play? Go on. I can't wait. All right. I'm all ears. If I snap my fingers, you'll forget you're straight. I'll forget that I'm straight. Yeah. Well, that's already happened. There you go. Work there, didn't it? Yeah. Well done. What's next? Well, I've got tricks. Has it actually worked? Did that work? It has. It's worked. I'll forget that I'm straight. Is that what you said? Oh, shut up. Did you just click? Well, I'm that one. Obviously, it made me cry. What does it mean? For a second, it made me cry. Am I straight? Well, yeah. No, I'm not straight, but then I was like, well, there you go. You've just forgotten you're straight. Look at this guy. Look at this idiot. Well, he really thinks he's not straight right now. You wait until I snap these fingers back, boy. Well, it's going to have quite an exciting point. I've got all the power in the world right now. The moment I snap these fingers back, you're going to be flooded into them, women's DMs. Have you ever actually been hypnotized? No. That's my dream. I want to actually get hypnotized, because you get someone on here that just-- You haven't been hypnotized. Hey, I'll snap my fingers. You'll forget you've been hypnotized. Can we do that? Can we get a-- You're seriously sane. You've never been hypnotized right now. I've never. Oh, my god. The fingers snap work. So stupid. You can tell that you've just been in a fucking-- I don't even know what you've been doing all day, but I wish it-- Locked away in a studio all day. Jesus Christ. Well, I just got written on there. Would we ever go back into a pandemic again? Do you reckon that's actually a possibility? Yeah. That's a good question. Hmm. I guess, yeah. And if we did go into a pandemic, would people actually obey the rules? Since the last one, everybody was like, oh, it wasn't a big deal. And now we come out of it. People now consistently get COVID, but just sort of carry on their lives. So if people are like, oh, we've got this whole-- we had this whole lockdown, because this thing that's not a big deal. Obviously, it was a big deal for some people. But what if we got one that's like a proper big deal? Monkey pox is on the horizon. Monkey pox is on the horizon. Yeah. What is on the rise? What's this? Pop talk. I think it's a lot. I mean, about two, three years ago, it became very popular amongst gay men, because I think just like-- Right. One gay man got it. And then, because gay men like myself are massive slags. Everyone had to have it. Like handbags and that. Everyone had to have it. No, it just spread very quickly in that community. Yeah. But now it's spread more like amongst everyone. And what is it? What is it? Big like lesions on your body. Like, some people get them on their face, and then they sky for the rest of their life. It's really quite gross, to be honest with you. That's a bit worse than having a cough, isn't it? It is. That is quite bad. Yeah. But so they were debating whether there should be a lockdown for that. But I don't think that there will be. I think it's just any time that someone uses the word lockdown to get loads of clicks on probably so. But equally, I would-- I mean, is it bad to say that I enjoyed the first lockdown a little bit, just like the very first one? I'll go out ahead and say that was the best time of my life. Really? No. But weirdly. Yes. No, it was-- it was obviously everything that was going on was awful. I think I'm so fortunate. I feel like we wished we wouldn't be in that. Yeah. But I think we're very fortunate, obviously. It was sunny. The fact that we're both saying this means that probably nobody very close to was died during that. Oh, everybody. Every one of my family popped their clogs. But do you know how much was it that I played? Yeah, that's true. It was just like a peaceful time for me. I was very lucky. I was sweaty time. I remember it being-- It was very sweaty, very hot. I was lucky enough to be at my parents' house, which is obviously in a small town with big garden, countryside, so I could go on walks in really lovely mountains and mountains. Sure you did, pal. Hills. I did. I was actually-- Sure. I was at peak physical fitness during lockdown. What happened, man? Honestly, I just gained weight. That's just what happens. But before lockdown, we weren't doing our jobs in lockdown. That's going to say you've got lockdown to thank. We actually do. I would never have done this if it weren't for lockdown. Really? More than a percent. Yeah, never. Is it the same with you, George? Um, I don't know why I posted my first video, but it wasn't in lockdown. Oh, when was it? I don't know. Was it not still lockdown times? Well, I posted my first video before lockdown, and then lockdown happened. I didn't post a tour really at all in that, and then came out the other end. I went, oh, should I probably post? Should I probably post? POV, post but Pat when he's out of break. Unpaid leave. Yeah, I mean, yeah, if it didn't happen also, I don't think TikTok would be as big as it was, so then both was probably wouldn't have blown up. Yeah, talking on weight. I was going to say you have blown up since then. Yeah, I have. Get that lockdown back on those walks, baby. Indeed, right. Should we, before we go, quickly do some of our job and answer some of these people's dilemmas? Do you know I used to talk to myself before I slept when I was younger? I couldn't see that. Do you know I used to pray every night before I went to sleep? Shut up. I used to pray. That is not true. That you would wake up. I wake up a second. What did you just say? Nothing. What did you say? Go on, say it with your chest. Go on, say it again. I think you wouldn't wake up. That's horrible. That is horrible. What a horrible person. That was a joke, and I'm glad that they didn't come true. I used to say the same prayer every single night. And I think it's true, haven't they? Multiple prayers. At least one of them is going to come true. But I can't hear it yet, they're wishes. You're bottlenecking yourself there. True. Every night you're praying for the same thing. That's so true. God's probably out there going, "Oh, God, Max the leg, dear again." Keeps asking me about the syphilis stuff. Yeah. Oh, please, can I stop obviously? I'll fuck off, just go to the pharmacy, mate. I used to say, I think, like, dear God, please. Out loud we used to be saying this. But sometimes, I'd be like, "Dear God, please, like, thank you so much for everything that you've given me in my life. Thank you so much for my friends. Thank you so much my family." And like, thank you so much for my enemies, or some shit like that. Please forgive my enemies, like, or something, and like, you know, please forgive all of us, and like, love you lots. Amen. Every single night. I'd say if you like- Thank you so much, my enemies. How old were you? I think I was like 14, between the edges of, like, 14 and, like, 16. Who were your enemies? I didn't have any. That is a good point. I think I was like- I think I was like- I just like- I just like- Yes. Yeah. A constant up of mine, actually. Constant up. The most consistent up in my life. You're having a female vagina, right? How old were you when you were praying at night? Like, between the edges of, like, 14 and 16. And were you- It was also when I got a girlfriend. I think I was in, like, my straight Chris- Oh, right. That was going to be my- Please give my girlfriend a penis. I don't know what was going on. I think I was asking for forgiveness because I was probably watching gay porn. Oh. Same time. I don't know what was going on, to be honest with you, but I do remember vividly that I would pray every single night and do the same prayer every single night and say please forgive my enemies, but I have no enemies. That's cute as hell. I love my enemies, but- Yeah, that is very cute. Imagine you pray every night. Yeah. And then I just stopped. And too fair. Things started to get better. I thought I was just laughing. Not saying. Not saying there was a correlation, just saying it's back. Right, so we do our job now. Like, do it. I'm going to cut you off. Right, I've got an email. During that, I just remembered as well. Go on, what? When I was a kid, I used to have a bunk bed. And they tend to be quite close to the ceiling. And- Who were you sharing a bunk bed with? Why did you- No, underneath was just like a desk in like- Oh, I had the same kind of thing. That was like- I used to be envious of people who had that. Yeah, that was really cool. So, I used to get up the top and I had like a little pen. And I'd write on the ceiling. And I- But it was just like weird shit. I just had like a full monologue of me saying, I want a dog. No, I want a cat. No, and I was- Like, I started it just- I want a dog. And then, like, I don't know, like a couple weeks later, maybe added- No. Like, that one only comes through. So, no, I want a cat. And then I'm like- No, I want- I don't even know what- And then did it with- I remember it ended with- No, I want a buddy called Sniffles. How long was this- Paragon. Paragon. Proximity up this big, just on the top of my ceiling, and then when my- What? And then my parents, I think fairly recently were like- Oh yeah, we did think it was a bit weird. We had to paint over it. That's a bit worrying. Do you know, my mum once confronted me, and it was one of the most like, embarrassing and upsetting things ever. I think I was like 11. And when I would go to sleep, I would pick my nose and put like, the bogies on the side of the wall, like, next to my bed. And just always thought, they're just disappearing now. Like, they obviously disintegrate. The bogey goblet. And then we moved house, and my mum said that she was absolutely horrified. And there was like a full wall, just full of my bogies that, like, dried and stuck to it. And I always think about that now. And she confronted me, I swear, like, in front of her friends or something. I don't think when you're doing this. Like, 11. Too old, but I'd been doing it in this. When he entered his teenage years, you should have seen the wall then. But I've been doing it. What the hell? Break the bogey's back, Max. Yeah, I think I've been doing it from like the age of like five to 11 in that same room. That's cute. Were they like, how would it work if you're on your bed? Were they sort of going down? I don't really know. They were all like... As in like a height chart, you're like, "Oh, my arm, I can only reach there when I'm a little five-year-old." And you're like, "Oh, look at my little five-year-old bogey's. My 11-year-old bogey's all the way down there." What even is a bogey? That's a really good question. What the fuck is a bogey? A build-up of mucus in the nose. I would assume so, actually. It's necessary to have a certain amount, otherwise your nose is just dry. You know, when you blow your nose, or like, when you have a cold. Also, can we just talk about when you have a cold? And only one nostril is colded. Hit that. Why are you doing that? And the other one, it's like Bumba-clarting the Baltic in there. It's just like freezing cold and dry. And the other one is just like, not ready to come to school today. Yeah, it's really irritating. I feel like it's quite selfish of my nose to do that to me. And then, every now and then, you sort of have a little nap, and then suddenly, "Oh, what the hell's happened?" They've switched sides. Suddenly, this one's, "How's that work?" I don't know. I was just really ill, obviously, like, since Reading and Leeds Festival, I've been really ill. Like, coughing, sneezing a lot. I, oh, this is so gross. I was eating a sandwich. I was eating a sandwich that I'd ordered a Subway. Oh, yeah, big time. And I sneezed. Into it, and ate it. No, I sneezed. Didn't realize that, like, this is gross. I didn't realize that, like, loads of snot would come out onto my sandwich. Oh, yeah, big time, anyway. And then, I, like, went to eat it. And, like, as my lip touched it, I was like, "That's weird." Oh, that's not cheese and toasted. And it was literally, like, big clumps of, like, grossness on my sandwich and I nearly ate it. That's actually my nickname for you, and my phone. What? Big clumps of grossness. Oh, my gosh, right. I hate this podcast. I hate you. Hello, Max and George, and potential guests. I've really just sent this in to complain about this complete dickhead of a guy who thinks it's fun to play with my feelings. Um, no, what that's like. Don't you worry, love. I've got you back, no matter what this is, okay. Basically, I've been talking to him for about a year, mostly on Snapchat. And sometimes he's super flirty and will compliment me randomly or save snaps in chat of me just because he thinks I look good in them. And I'll stay up till, like, midnight just chatting to him. But the problem is that when we actually see each other in school, he just fucking ignores me. Like, "Oh, wow, I had no idea I was invisible, you piece of shit." Anyway... Got him good. Mm? I just said, "Got him good." That was a good line. Got him good. Hell yeah. Anyway, like, he'll literally walk up to my friend group and talk to some of the other people in my friend group right next to me and will literally not even look at me. And the only times he's spoken to me in school over the year I've known him is when it's me who has started the conversation. And now I've recently found out that he's got about 10 other girls on Snapchat who he regularly speaks to. And there's more, but this is already too long. So please tell me how to deal with this bitch boy because even though I'm pissed at him, I wish he would like me back. Anyway, Max, I love you so much. You're a hot funny icon who deserves the world. George, you're okay too, I guess. Ahhh! What a bitch boy, though. Um... Before we answer that... Yeah. It made me realize when, for some reason, you know, when she was always messaging everybody in the year. Dremen when MSN was a thing and it was just normal to message anyone and everyone that was online. Oh yeah. And it'd be like... It'd be like people that you literally don't speak to. And you'd just... It wouldn't even just be messaging. You'd like, fucking hop on a video call with me. Yes. And you wouldn't even speak speaking. You just sat there. You'd be like, why am I even speaking to this person? I don't speak to them at school. Like, I've got no interest in what's going on. But for some reason, you'd just sit there with your laptop and then just send through these stupid shortcuts with just like random bullshit that'll pop up. And then send through loads on the screen. You'd be like, what do you want? And then they'll just go, hmm... No, I cannot tell you a single conversation that actually had any substance to it that I had with MSN. And I'd go on it every night after school and I'd be speaking to fucking everybody in my year. And it wasn't like a case of everyone being like, oh, they're trying to link them. They're trying to... Oh, this is Riz. No, it was just fucking weird. And everyone just accepted it was weird. I think it was because people were so excited by the thought of that being a thing. I agree. And up until that point, if you were next to something, like if your only interactions with other human beings was in person because social media was not a thing. And like, you're just next to someone that you don't really know and you don't speak to them. It's not that big of a deal. So it wouldn't have felt that weird to video or call someone that you don't really know. Because it's like, oh well. Yeah, we don't really know each other. We're not going to say anything. But how cool is it that you can just be there? But I remember being on like holiday and being like, oh, I'm really enjoying this holiday, but I can't wait to get to the hotel lobby where there's Wi-Fi. And I can just hop on Skype or like, Skype as well as a thing, hop on MSN and just look at this person who sat on their desk or their dad's desk at home. I would literally spend like 70 to 80 euros per holiday just on the internet cafe. Remember that? What the fuck is that all about? Why is it even a cafe? It's just a bunch of computers in the room. Shut up. Give me a drink, you loser. And I would have my heart beating out my chest. Whilst I'm like messaging this girl that I fancied in year six, I was also in year six. Oh my god. Why have you even still got internet cafes? There's so 10 years ago. Anyway, how's Lily doing? And yeah, I'd be there like logging onto Facebook messenger. It would cost like six euros per like half an hour. And I'd be like, oh my god, please, I hope someone's online. Because otherwise I've just spent all this money for literally nothing. So weird, right? And I'd be there like, yeah, everyone's enjoying themselves at the pool. I'm going to pay money to go and sit on a shit computer that I have to pay for. What? Weird. Do you reckon that was like FOMO? Like you didn't want to like miss out on conversations, is it? It was just like 100%. It was just small talk simulator. Honestly. I don't know why we even did it. It was just like, how are you? Good? You? Yeah. Good. KK. And then just like, cool. And then two hours later, how are you again? Yeah. Oh my god, you know how many times I did that? And even I looked at myself and went, I'm a fucking idiot. That is so weird. Oh my god. My sister was upstairs on hers. Laptop. And we're just, I'd just be like, you're right. It's so wild. What's up, Em? How you doing? It was a wild time. Oh my god. Very weird. Back to-- What about BBM messenger though? I didn't have BBM. I never had BBM. Did your gentleman lose us? I had an iPhone. I'm gimping them. [LAUGHING] Gimping them up. They made BBM an app. Oh yeah, they did sit in there. And everyone was like, well, should BBM people? Oh, fucking I messaged me. You were weird though. Oh my god. BBM was so iconic. You would literally be like, so on BBM, it had this function where you could ping someone. And it basically sent like a big notification to them. And it would be like, ping-- I'd sit at the back of the bus with my mates. And I remember one specifically this like, school trip. And it was me and these four boys. It was me and these four boys. And we were all like-- You bet you were pinging each other, weren't you? I was. Yeah. Now we were like, ping for a rate on like, LPC. Do you remember LPC? Looks personality closeness. Looks personality closeness. She talked to you more. Whoa, what is that? Did you never have that? You're a little bit older than I was like, you're an old king. I am a bit older than you yet. It would be how you found out if someone fancied you basically. I guess it's a gimmin example. So you would say, so I'm at the back of the bus with my mates. Yes. And I'll be like, at the back of the bus with George and Callum, ping for an LPC. And then people would ping me. And then we would rate their looks, their personality, and our closeness level with them out of 10. So you'd be like, L, 10, L, P, like, four, C, three, or something like that. Wow, what the fuck? Oh my god, literally just battleship coordinates. But they fucking hurt. Yeah, oh my god. Yeah, they would hurt. Oh my god. Bear in mind, that was it. Even worse. That was like entry level, just willing to be bullied. Yeah, what was it asking to be bullied? Next one now was like for the one who is. What about-- oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, like for the one who is, and it would be like, you'd like it and they'd be the one who is funny, the one who is quite hurt, the one who actually get to know more. Yeah, it was always a good one. And then the lowest tier of just like you do not want to go there, like for hot or not. And it wasn't just, they wouldn't just write it back on Facebook. It was a video. They'd send a fucking video of them after a while looking through-- people used to do this. They'd sneak around each other's houses. And they'd go through the people who liked the post. And then just be like, Max, not George Hart. And they'd like look at each other. And then they'd go like, oh no, fucking Stacy. Sometimes they'd literally go, no, you're a really nice girl, but nah. And he was like so savage, I remember. It was like no holes, but everybody was just like-- But you know what, when you were a teenager, they're fucking-- everyone's brutal with it. Yeah, but people would literally laugh, or like they'd be like not even a thought process. And then I'd just go like, say the name nah. Yeah, Barry, no. Yeah, but he was like fucking horrible. Oh my god. I've just put on my story reply for a hot or not video from me and George. You know what I-- what used to get me is like, did you guys have Bebo? No, I knew what it was. So on Bebo, there on your main page, there was this section that was like top comments, or like basically people would leave a comment on your profile that was just-- they would sit there. And like the top five comments would be from like your top five friends or whatever. And people would really want like the popular kids to leave a comment on your profile because then when other people would see it, they'd be like, oh, this guy is cool, or da, da, da, da. And I used to really want like all the coolest people at school to like comment on my thing. And I remember I got one guy, I think his name was Lewis. And I was like, yeah, I'm fucking cool now because he commented on my fucking page. It was so funny. Oh, now Lewis is dead. Oh, I hope not. No, he's not. I hope not. Shout, Lewis. Do you want my wrong-- oh, sorry, come on. I was going to say Ask FM. Oh, I think we've spoke about that before. No, no, tell me. I don't know what that is. That was actually fucked. Ask FM was an anonymous questions platform. Immediately bullying. Yes. Yeah, you could choose to make your thing anonymous. And just be like, why are you-- and people just go put on their story, not story, just post on their Facebook their link for their Ask FM. And you just go click on it. People make their account anonymous and they can ask anything. Best was, I made an account immediately. And I was like, oh my god, I'm going to get questions. Like, you're really hot. Like, I think I like you. Five questions one after another. Are you gay? Are you gay? Are you gay? And I was like, OK, so then you could do this thing where you could ask yourself questions. And it would still be anonymous. Oh, yeah, of course. So then I'd ask questions like, are you going to be trying out for the athletics team this year? And I'd be like, don't know, I'm thinking about it, and trying to figure it out. Have you got a girlfriend? Maybe. Maybe. Speaking to a few girls at the night. That's brilliant. That is brilliant. It was a wild time. But it was the home of cyberbullying. Yeah, didn't that just get banned for just being absolutely just awful? Like fuck. Yeah, it encouraged people-- like, the thing was, the people that people hated got so many awful questions. But then they became like Ask FM famous, because they would then build a profile of having loads of followers on Ask FM, even if people didn't know who they were. It was so weird. That's so strange. So weird. The idea of people being Facebook famous as well is so weird to me. Like, how does that even happen? Who? Kane Larkin. Kane Larkin. And oh my god, he's still alive and around. I thought he would die shortly. Not like he's in a murder situation, but it just seemed like the sort of person that would die young. Do you know what I mean? What was your guys' first social media platforms? Do you remember what they were? Facebook. Club Penguin. Facebook was your first. Oh, Club Penguin, that's an interesting one. That was your first. Yeah, that was my first. I didn't have any of the MSN's or anything. My sister did it. She didn't have my space. She didn't have Bebo. I wasn't allowed at that time, so my older sister did it, so I'd sit with her while she was on the computer. And I'd be like, that's so cool. But I was never actually allowed any of my social media. Oh, wait. Hixochat. What Earth is that? That's when you have the on an Nintendo DS back in the day. You could do. It was actually quite-- Is this a social media app? Yeah, because-- When you're on a bus, it is. When you're on a school trip and everyone had their DSs out and you'd be in a big Pictochat room. Sorry, there's only eight people allowed in here. And you would draw what you wanted to do was you would write. So say that all three of us were in a Pictochat room. I could feel like this little rectangle with whatever black text that I wanted or picture or anything, like draw a penis, press send. And it would pop up at yours. I could write the word like, hey, George. And then press send and it would pop up. So on a plane, it would go crazy because you'd be looking around. And I'd be like, what's everyone doing? When they land, just write and stuff. As if you're not all getting on a couch and going somewhere. But my heart would raise that, oh my god, who am I speaking to? Because you don't know who you're speaking to. It's on an antenna, yeah. It's like, oh, you used to scribble it all in black. Oh, hell yeah, rub out the letters. Oh, don't. I'll get hard. He's going to start rubbing someone else out. I'll just think about that. That was such an elite level of art that I think is so underappreciated. People were like, hey, why is George not messaging the chat suddenly? Big black box pops in that we just-- Hey, you've spent the last 15 minutes blowing it in. Just for that one set. Hell yeah. What about when the 3DS became a thing and they incorporated the rainbow text? I think I'd grown up by then. Oh, I hadn't. I still got a call. I think I bought one last year anyway. I remember buying the 3DS and being like, I'm going to gaslight myself into thinking this works. But it's just sort of a normal Nintendo DS. Yeah, it was very normal. I think it actually got discontinued for breaking people's eyeballs as well. Because there's no way that-- Was it supposed to be 3D or something? Yeah, so you would flip a switch and the screen would change and it would actually go 3D without having to put 3D glasses on. But every time I would do it, I'd have to stare at it so hard and it would give me the biggest headache ever. And my eyes would start to cross. So you'd never leave. You'd never have it on. No, so around that same time, I had to go to the opticians because it made my eyes really blurry from being on it all the time. And then the optician said that they'd had loads of people come in who had got a 3DS and like 3 months after using it, their eyes started to get hooked up. So-- It's crazy when things come in. 3D TVs came in and everyone thought they'd be all the rage. Yeah, and no one fucking wants one. I remember Wimbledon was on and it was like click on the channel. It would be like split down the middle. And you'd have to have like, obviously, the proper TV and the glasses and stuff. It was like, what's the point in that? And then that just like pissed off because nobody actually wants that. Oh my gosh, technology as well. I don't think I ever watched anything in 3D. You've never watched anything in 3D? No, it's cinema surely. No, so my best friend had a 3D TV. They were like one of the first people to get one that I knew. And like, they had the glasses and everything. And I don't think I ever tried it. And they barely ever used it for 3D. They would just watch normal TV. Some films back in-- when 3D was like really big and cinema, some films would make it-- Oh, they really lent it into it. Some of the Harry Potter's, like the earlier Harry Potter's-- Oh, that's very fine. --randomly, yeah, like the fucking Quidditch thing is like lobbing it through the screen because it was meant to be watched in 3D. And so like, when you watch it back now, sometimes you're like, that scene is very unnecessary. You can tell there's a certain period of films between the years of like 2005 and '12, where they were really trying to push for 3D. And you can tell it was always in the first like 10, like even like five minutes, they'd be like, all that things going straight at the camera. But then throughout the rest of the film, there's nothing that like involves it too. It's just like Transformers would do it. Yeah, like, remember Bolt, the film. I remember, there was a scene where one of the security guard had his feet up on the desk and he had one of those table tennis paddles with a ball that was attached to it again. Yeah, at the screen and then it was like a straight out. And that was like the only thing in the whole film that was like-- Yeah, I think it's just because they could charge more money for it being 3D, couldn't they? Bring back 3D films, guys. Nah, actually, no, I feel like I should watch something in 3D. It is cool, it is quite cool. Avatar, the new one, where the water, did we watch that in 3D? No, maybe, you know. Because that's when he came out a couple of years ago. Yeah, but I think that was such like a parallel with Avatar being big and 3D being big. And I think they were just sort of like where the same tower was like the 3D film. Yeah, like, brothers, you need to see this shit in 3D. I've got a confession. I've not seen either Avatar. Oh, to be fair, I'm difficult to follow. But very good, especially the first one. Second one, not so much. I fell asleep big time in it. I fell asleep for like 40 minutes and woke up and still managed the life. Fell asleep at the premiere? Yeah, this man just said that they're quite hard to follow, having fell asleep for 40 minutes in the middle of the film. Yeah, no shit, Max. That is a great point, that is a great point. Hang on, they're all blue, what the fuck? Hey, wakes up 5 minutes towards the end. Oh, I'm gonna slide into the next screen, then. What the fuck? That's a really good point, actually. Very good. Anyway, dilemma. Sorry, yes, back to dilemma. Yeah, we did the dilemma. Yeah, do you know what, fuck him, don't need him. Yeah, if he's speaking to 10 other bitches and you're not even speaking to him in person, well, tell you what, how about you just, I thought I'd say toss him off. No, don't. How about you just toss him to the side and don't speak to him. Yeah, yeah, that's good. Do you know weirdly this link to the side? Weirdly, this links back to Ask FM, oh my god, this is a great story. Because I had this girl, beautiful girl, who went to my high school and she was called Millie, shout out Millie if you're out there. She was so beautiful and so light, nice. And we would flirt with each other on Ask FM. Cute. And we'd send each other things like... You sure it was her? It was definitely her, because I'd send one to her like, like, oh my god, like, is Max in your top five? And then she'd reply like, yeah. And then the same would be sent to me and then we'd both be like, on Ask FM and then it moved over to Facebook Messenger and it was like, Max and Millie are like speaking. So then we started to like actually message each other and then I'd see her in person and I would be petrified. Even though I was friends with her beforehand, but I would freeze so much, probably because I'm gay, first of all. And I was just confused about everything that was happening. And I invited her around. I was about to agree that that's what I used to be terrified of. Oh, yeah, same thing. And then I invited her around to my house when I was in like year 10, when I knew that my parents were going to be out and no one was going to be in. And it was like the perfect storm for me to like do lots of stuff for the first time, like brought around, like we're playing on like the way together or something. Oh, hell yeah. And then I got so nervous that I started to feel like I was going to vomit it, ran to the bathroom, actually threw up and she went home early. You literally threw up at the thought of doing anything with a girl. Yeah. Not like threw up as in. I was disgusted by it. Easy. He's a good homosexual. But I was so nervous. But I think... Die for the course. I was just so nervous about anything happening. And I threw up. We get it, you're gay. Side story, I once thought about having sex with a girl threw up. No, because then like years later, I did have sex with a girl and I was fine. But at that moment, maybe I just wasn't ready. Also, my penis was probably like one inch big at that point. Have you said how many girls you slept with online? Yeah, one. Just one. Yeah, one girl. One girl, one time? Yeah. I've got with like loads of girls. One and one. Oh, okay, okay. Fucking... All right. I would get with girls at house parties and stuff. Like get with them. Stop it. Yeah. I just can't imagine it. Because I'm a deeply flaming homosexual now. Just the one girl. One girl. One girl on time. Full sex with a one girl, yeah. Once you go crack, you never go back. Actually, I'm a really personal person. Well, no, no, no. And I'll decide whether I'll answer it. At the time, did you enjoy it? Yeah. Oh, you did? But I was also like 15 and like a gust of wind would have given me a bone. Right. Okay. So like, I was very excited about the prospect of having sex and being able to tell that to my friends and like having a girlfriend and being able to like be like, "Oh my God, I've got a girlfriend." And like have I come around to my house and my parents be like, "Oh, yeah, Max has got a girlfriend." But I never... I think I preferred all of that side of it as opposed to actually enjoying it myself. And like, I liked her as a person, but I think I liked her mostly as a friend. You weren't attracted to her physically? I was very attracted to her physically. But again, because I was so young. And like, at that point, I didn't know that I was gay. I just knew... Did she? Secretly, she didn't eat this for sure. I just knew that like secretly in the back of my mind, I knew that I was attracted to boys. Right. But I never allowed that to even become a full thought. Every time I'd start thinking about it, I'd be like, "No, you've got a girlfriend. "What do you want about moving on?" And then it wasn't until we broke up that I was like, "Oh, maybe I should've explored this." And when I got really drunk one time, and then I never went back. But I still got with girls for like, my whole time of like... My whole life? A whole life. What? A whole life? A whole life. I still got these. No, I got with girls like, but I would only ever get with them. And then I'd be at some house parties and they'd be like, "Oh, like, we should like do something." And I'd be like, "Oh, no, I respect you too much." Oh my gosh. I respect you too much. Like, I'm not that kind of guy. Like, I don't want to do that. Meanwhile, I'm going home and like, like, messaging boys, like, late at night. Like, hey, wild times. I was like, "This is when I was 17, 18, crazy." And then I came out, obviously. Oh, yeah. Oh, so that's my advice. No, maybe he's gay. Maybe he's gay. If he's messaging all those words, he's just... I think he's a knob bit. I think he's straight. I think he's just a bit nervous. He's just a little knobber. Yeah, he is. Bless him. Right, we've got one more email. And then I'm going to bed. Before you guys get yourself killed or worse, expelled. I kind of want to watch the Harry Potter. Yeah, same. What's your favourite Harry Potter? I really like the Tri-Wizard Cup one. Good job. Just got a bit of fire. Oh my god, the Tri-Wizard Cup one. I really like it. What's yours, George? What's your favourite? Um, prisoner of Azkaban. Um, that is the, that's actually the correct answer. That's my favourite. I mean, the last one is really good as well. Hello, Max and... I need your advice. Basically, my boyfriend and I were talking about tattoos and what ones we want to get. Now, so we want to get matching ones. And I was stuck on the idea of getting them until I jokingly brought up the idea of matching tramps stamps. I said, I think it'd be... Sorry, they've got it in quotation marks. I said, um, what's wrecking the girl? Where's wrecking the girls from? Oh yeah, like... Based on your accent. No, no, no, he's going to do the accent based on where you think she's from. Oh, Liverpool. Liverpool. Liverpool? I think it would be funny if we got matching tramps stamps with our names on. He then laughed and I said, "Actually, if my... Actually, if my mum found out I had a tramp stamp, I think she'd just sold me." He looked at me, smiled and then said, where's he from? He is from Scotland. Um, and then said... Main wouldn't care about her. She has one with my name on. I thought, oh, clearly that's a joke and kept laughing. He then looked at me angry and said, "Is there a jewel card?" And his abs. "Is that a jewel card?" "Is there a jewel card?" "I'm not a jewel." "Is there a jewel card?" "Yeah." "And proceeded to show me a picture of her lower back." What? It's basically... Oh, his mum's... Oh, and proceeded to show me a picture of her lower back with a bodged up tramp stamp with his name on. She showed me before I left with pride and no shame. Oh yeah, I'll doubt the gaze. So I know, so I now know he ain't lying. I haven't spoken to him in two weeks. Please give me advice on how to break up with his mummy's boy. PSC has full-on lips his mum for a full two minutes. And he's also really emotional and cries. And thanks me when we shag the entire time. Why the hell is that last PSC? The bit that you should have been speaking about. Best information that we have to... What the hell? Where did you get that? His mum has a tramp stamp of her son's name. That's very weird. Like I... And he's talking his mum. That's why your son's name's short. Tramp stamp makes it a little bit weird. Kissing the mother. That's why you're breaking up with him. Not because he actually wanted a tramp stamp. He has full-on lips his mum for a full two minutes. And thanks me the entire time when we shag. The thought of that... Thank you for that hump. Thank you. Thank you for that. Thank you for this poos. Thank you. Thank you so much for this poos. Never say that word. Oh, thank you so much for this poos. This is the best poos I've ever had. Thank you. I couldn't possibly have all of this poos. The thought of having to get with my mum. I'll put some in a doggy bag and save it for this right, Carol. The thought of having to get with my mum. And I'm thinking about it as making me so... No one said you had to get with your mum. No, but like if that happened... Like for someone to do that is so deranged to me. Like that's not... No, that's weird. It is very weird. Trampstamps is a red flag. Yeah, it's a red flag. I agree with you. It's a red flag, but it's like... It's not that crazy. Yeah, but... Well, it is, but it's like... It is crazy. You can forgive it. Yeah. Yeah, I can't forgive making out with your mum. Well, I imagine her husband or whatever is like just... What is it? Is it just like... Is there a little bit on the red flag? On the rear during sexy times. And there's just got your son's name. Or if she's not with her husband/partner. It's with... Steps on. Somebody's just... I'm seeing the person who they are intercausing with son's name just there on the back. That's just mental. No. Get lost. Well, you need advice on how to break up with him. You need to post... Get Trampstamps. On social media. Yeah. You need to do... What you need to do is like a full TikTok viral mumman. And you need to be like... Do you remember that story when that woman was like... Who the fuck did I marry? And it went completely viral. It's just like 27-part series. You just need to do a one-part series. And it just needs to be called... Who the fuck am I in a relationship with? Yeah. And then explain to the world that he got with his mum. That he thanks you whilst you are having sex. That's quite nice though. Once. Just once. Thank you. Appreciative. I don't think it's nice. Thank you for this endeavour. Thank you. Thank you for this endeavour. Thank you so much. No, I think that's so strange. And I'm not okay with it. Yeah, that's my advice. It's all weird. Yeah, pulse it on the internet, shame him. Is there a flag colour above red? Because I feel like that has to be it. Like, it's... I feel like purple is probably... Is what purple? Purple, just absolutely no go. Yeah, the one worst flag is rainbow. Right, but all of the colours. Actually, controversial take. I think that the rainbow flag is so ugly. But it's my flag, so I've got to accept it, you know what I mean? I don't feel like I'm allowed to say it's ugly. I agree. Rainbow is ugly though. Like, categorically. It's not that bad. Okay, in your head, just describe to me now what your perfect pride flag would look like. I think that the trans flag is really cute. I agree, the colours complement each other. Like, it actually looks nice. Oh, there is. Like, white, blue and pink. Yeah, like, you could make an outfit out of that. And it would still, it would be a bit out there, but it would still be, like, nice. Whereas, like, every single pride, when people were rainbow clothing, all I think is, that is really ugly. But, like, I get it. And I think there is a lot going on that you can't, sort of. But I, it can't, it can't not look tacky. It looks, it just, it just, it will never be fashionable. Rainbow will never be fashionable. Do you know what I mean? Like, the flag itself, you- The man that is giving out fashion advice. Andrew actually had to stop me from walking out the house today. Stop it, what were you wearing? And I was only wearing this t-shirt, these crocs, but I had on, do you know, like, my big baggy, like, corduroy, like, things that work quite often? Yes. And Andrew just straight up said to me, he said- Oh, you're a beige as well. He was like, you're wearing all poo colors. And he was like, and I hate those trousers. He was like, please put a pair of jeans on. And then I realised, I've not worn a pair of jeans. I was going to say, I haven't seen you in jeans. Literally, two, three years. And he's, and he's repeatedly complimented me on the fact that I'm wearing jeans, saying how much more he fancies me because I'm wearing jeans. Just to try to positively reinforce that I don't wear those clothes together. That's quite funny. But yeah, and it's kind of open my eyes to the fact that my boyfriend has stayed with me, despite the fact that I put little to no effort into how I look at all times. Is he a jeans wearer? Yeah. Oh, I thought it might have been you, denim. Oh, that not. Thank you so much for listening. This has been literal, like, torture. Hope that you've enjoyed, because that would make one of us. Love you lots. And what can they do if they enjoyed it, George? You can go eat my little ass. And please send in any dilemmas to the usushotlinepodcast@gmail.com. And until next time, don't do it. Don't do it. Fight the urge. What am I fighting the urge for? To say some wild shit like you just did. That was nothing wild about that. Until next time. Choose, as the Germans would say. Choose, what does that mean? It means it's like a little buy, sort of a colloquial goodbye. Choose, choose. Hey, it's Mark Merrin from WTF here to let you know that this podcast is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. And I'm sure the reason you're listening to this podcast right now is because you chose it. Well, choose Progressive's name, your price tool, and you could find insurance options that fit your budget. So you can pick the best one for your situation. Who doesn't like choice? Try it at Progressive.com. And now, some legal info. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, price and coverage match, limited by state law. Not available in all states. Imagine the softest sheets you've ever felt. Now imagine them getting even softer over time. That's what you'll feel with Bullen Branch's best-selling signature sheets in 100% organic cotton. In a recent customer survey, 96% replied that Bullen Branch sheets get softer with every wash. Start getting your best night's sleep in sheets that get softer and softer for years to come. Try their sheets with a 39 guarantee. Plus, get 15% off your first order at bullenbranch.com code "Buttery." Exclusions apply. See site for details.