The Daryl Talks Podcast

Keeping up with Lumsdon's 3

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Duration:: 54m
Broadcast on:: 15 Sep 2024
Audio Format:: mp3

In this third instalment, Liz and I get real about the rollercoaster ride of raising two children. From sleepless nights to proud parenting wins, we’re sharing the highs, the struggles, and everything in between. Tune in for candid updates on our little ones’ growth, plus some personal highlights you won’t want to miss. If you’re a parent—or just love a good family story—this one’s for you!" If you would like to support this podcast: http://buymeacoffee.com/daryltalks If you would like to be part of the community: https://linktr.ee/daryltalks If you’d be interested in participating in an episode please email: Talksdaryl@gmail.com

[Music] Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of the Dabbal Talk podcast. Today we are back with Liz in the living room, another episode of Keeping Up with the Lovenstons and I think today we're just going to catch you up on where we are at as parents. So without further ado, welcome Liz. Hello. How you doing? Good. How are you? Good. Good. Satya I've had my coffee. We're doing an early morning record. We are, yes. We've got a temperamental sun lying between us. Looks like he's been the electric kid. Yeah, he's got his arms up. So how's it going? It's going, it's going really quickly. So we're nearly 15 weeks, what will be 15 weeks when, the time is just disappearing. Everyone says it to you, didn't they, like, time goes so quickly, it, you know, it disappears. It really does. Yes, madness. Just, just flies by. So what's been happening? Jackson wasn't very well. So yeah, we last didn't have to say what were we, we were two weeks old. At that point everything was brand new. It was a bit like a honeymoon period, wasn't it? Yeah, I think so. Everything seemed dandy, we were just settling in, it was all good and fun. And after that, kind of the reality sinks in a bit, doesn't it? Yeah, and do you know what, I say it to a lot of people, Jackson is my biggest challenge. I always thought having you first and not knowing what on earth you're doing was a challenge, but actually Jackson is my biggest challenge. Not because of the dynamic of having two of them, just because it, him as a baby, is a nightmare. We lucked out with Lyra. We did. And I don't know what that means for like totally years and teenage years for him, but he's just, yeah, he's just been a challenge. So health wise, he's been a worry, as much as he's fine, he's absolutely fine himself. He just hasn't been quite where he should be in terms of his weight and various things happening with his body, which you wouldn't expect in a newborn. So I've had lots of trips to him from the hospital. I've got another trip coming up to the hospital. Yeah, lots of tests and things, but I mean, all in all, he's absolutely fine. He's just, he's longer than he is wider, and I think that's causing a bit of a problem in terms of his growth and where he is. But it's all based on averages. Yeah. So how do you get an average from a high and a low? He's just on the low end of that average. Yeah. And I think the problem is at this point is that he was on the high, now he's on the low. Yeah. But anyway, yeah, like I said, he's absolutely fine, but he's just a challenge. Yeah, but those moments when he's just like proper grinning and giggling. Oh my God. So he's really coming into, yeah, he's really coming into himself, isn't he? So he now, like you said, he's grinning all the time. He's so cheeky and he started properly giggling. Like he's really ticklish, his feet are so ticklish. It's so adorable. I think he's going to break a lot of hearts. Do you? So watch out, daughters. I think he's going to break his mother's heart probably, my little lamb. So what's been going on with Lyra because she has changed. She is a different person. She is full on toddler. It was almost overnight though, wasn't it? Oh, wow. It was like she just woke up one day and started talking and it making sense. So she, yeah, so she like put sentences together now and counts to 10 like it's nothing and tells me no and stop all the time. And this morning I took her to nursery where usually there's a bit of a, she just wants to cuddle me. She doesn't really want to go because daddy doesn't often take her to nursery. And today she just walked in, didn't even say bye. When I came home, I looked at the nursery lady actually and was just like what was that? Later. What have you done to my daughter? She is funny. She does move enough. Yeah. And she told a stranger off the other day. She, oh, she does. She's really bad for it, really bad for it, but then heaven forbid a stranger speaks to her. Then she goes to take a while. Dead quiet. Unless they try and help out and then stranger danger and she is mad. So we were at a fundraiser, a fundraising event, an endurance challenge and Lyra, the little devil that she is, had to take her, her drink spot or it goes everywhere with her. She's obsessed with her. Took her drinks bottle and she waltzes in, sits in this gazebo, finds her seat, sits down and drops her drinks bottle on the floor. So I'm holding Jackson. So one of the ladies Louise said, oh, I'll get that. I went to pick it up and Lyra was like, no, stop. I said, no Lyra, it's fine. Louise is going to pick that up for you. Stop. And like a hand goes up, mommy, get it. It's like, no, no, no, Louise is going to stop. No. Oh my God. And at that point, I was just dying inside like, oh, deary me, what have I created? Yeah. And obviously I picked up her drink. That's fine. Get it back to her. And then I think Louise said something then or it was about to fall on the floor again. So she grabbed it. Well, because of that Lyra again was like, no, stop. And then threw it on the floor because somebody had touched her drink. She's got sass. Oh, she is sassy, yeah. And like we got her a trampoline because one of the things that I'm really enjoying about being a parent is that I always wanted a trampoline when I was little. Right. And never had one. So I get to. You are reliving your youth, aren't you? Absolutely. Next up, it will be one of those toy boy. No. Sorry. Talk boy. Walkie talkie things that they had that you had in home alone. I don't remember those specifically, but we had walkie talkies growing up. So it was this recording thing with a tape. Like a dictaphone. Like a dictaphone where he records the film. Yes. I remember it. Yeah. Yeah. So that's what we're getting. Oh, next. That's home alone too. I recall rightly. No. Yeah. So that's fantastic. She loves trampolining. Oh, wow. Doesn't she? So it started off with her jumping on the sofa and then subsequently falling off the sofa several times. It was like, do you know what, she needs a trampoline. She's just obsessed, isn't she? Yeah. And she really seems to enjoy it as well, and she's getting better at it. But she can only go on the trampoline if we're playing Baby Shark. Yeah. That bloody song. I go to bed at night and I can hear that song over and over and over again. I actually did the dance and sang it in front of work colleagues the other day. Of course she did. Because I was explaining that I don't know lyrics, children's songs, they stick in your head, don't they? There's just so, I mean, there's not very many words to that song, but it's just so annoying. She loves it. Yeah. But I think that's what's great about this age is that she suddenly does love things and like she can tell you that she wants to listen to something or wants to do something because she enjoys doing it. Yeah. So this morning before she went nursery she was pointing up at the paper because she wanted to do some drawing. Yeah. Yeah. Because she makes her own mind up, which is great. Yeah. No, it's brilliant. Because I like to, I think that I was probably pretty needy. I mean, that hasn't changed as an adult, you're still pretty needy. How dare you? Yeah. It must be the men in my life. I love. Son, husband, dog, needy. I love the fact that she makes up her own mind. Yeah. She knows what she wants and what she doesn't want because I still struggled with that now. She definitely knows what she doesn't want. Yeah. So I didn't even, this morning I literally went to walk in and I would say, "Laro, you awake after, even though it's been about 10 minutes for going, "Mommy, mommy, mommy." So I went to walk in and I said, "Laira, are you awake?" No, mommy do it. And there are some upsides as well. So sometimes I come home, have I spoken about this in previous episodes? I don't know what you're going to say, so. Sometimes I come home and Laira, like Greeks view of her hugging stuff. Yeah. Yeah, she does. She stands up out of the window and she does her latest thing. And then she'll turn around to mommy and she goes, "Daddy's tea." Yes. Because it would appear, mommy's always making daddy's tea. Obviously, I haven't taught her this. This isn't something that I walk in the house usually and say, "Daddy's tea." But she, mommy must obviously be saying, "I'm going to make daddy's tea." Yeah. Yeah. And then I'll come in and she takes my shoes off for me. Yeah, she's obsessed with shoes, actually. It's a bit gross, to be honest. Well, she's like a 70s wife. Yeah, I think she'll get over that very quickly. She won't allow, you're not allowed to backhand her. What are the awful things I say? Of course she can. That is one thing actually. What? Christ, here we go. Let's talk about discipline. Oh, bloody hell. The lack of. Yeah, maybe. But it's a real struggle, isn't it? Yeah, yes and no. I think it was, I think it was different, obviously, when we were growing up, discipline was a thing, wasn't it? Yeah. And it wasn't frowned upon and you could basically do what you wanted, I guess, within reason. You know what I mean. So discipline now, there's two halves to discipline, isn't there? There's a let's sit down and let's talk about this and reflect on your feelings and see where we go from there. And then there's my kind of discipline, which is a very sharp line, no, you're not doing that. And that's the end of it. Get in the car or get in the house or how do you see discipline? I don't. No, you don't. You are actually awful. I have a limit though, don't I? So I'm like laid back, laid back 100% mad. Right, so Darrell, we've always joked about it. So Darrell's never, he's never like told me no over the years. So when we were first sort of going out over the years, he never said no to me and I just get away with murder, to be honest. And then one day, I just blew up, didn't you, and you're like, no. And I was in such shock that you had said no to me and you were so forceful about it. I cried. I absolutely burst into tears. I was like, what the f is going on here? Yeah. But that's what you do to Lyra. You go and go and go and you're absolutely fine. And then you're suddenly, no. And then that's it. Like there's no going back after that. It shocks her. It shocks me. Yeah, because I'm quite loud, aren't I? Yeah. If I do raise my voice, which isn't very often, it kind of travels well, doesn't it? Yeah. It is very shocking because usually I'm so dulce it in like sexy. Ah, who's told you that? None of the listeners so far, that has not been of all the feedback that has not been it. Your dulce it's sexy tones. It's difficult knowing what's a good learning opportunity for her. I think every day is a school day and she's learning all the time. The problem that we've got now is as she's learning and as she's doing things, whether it's the right thing or not, in time, Jackson's going to start doing it and he's going to start copying her. And then we're going to have two of the little shits doing it. Yeah. And the dog. And we hope that they are like proper sneaky as much as it's going to frustrate and make us angry. Just it's going to be hilarious. It is funny though, isn't it? It's sometimes like... What did she do with the freeze at the other day? Oh my God. So I was, we were at home for the day. It was absolutely lashing it down. So obviously didn't want to go out at home playing all day. She's having a lovely day. She was being so well behaved. Jackson needed feeding late in the afternoon. So I'm sat on the sofa for feeding him and she's quite happy playing. She gets here. Mummy snack. Mummy snack. It's like no, you know, your tea's going to be in a minute, you just let me finish feeding Jackson. Mummy snack, snack, snack, no, feeding Jackson. Anyway, she disappears out to the kitchen like she does because she's got her own little play kitchen out there as well. So I can hear her rooting around and playing with things and I know she's completely safe. And then I could hear this rustling. I thought what on earth is that, I was like, Lyra, come in here. What have you got? And she waltzes in with this ice lollie. Where did you get that from? She's got the freezer. She's just so matter of fact with it. Get her from the freezer. So like go and put it back. You're not having an ice lollage. Yeah. No. Go and put it back. So I then had to stop feeding Jackson to go out, turns out the fridge is wide open as well. She's got everything up to get whatever she wants out. She's so funny. So funny. And it's really difficult. Because the thing is as soon as I stood up to get this, she's not like, not that I'd want her to be scared of me, but she looks at me and just laughs because she thinks it's hilarious that I'm telling her no. Yeah, it is odd. And you can understand how people end up like, like parents end up taking it that step too far and scaring their children. Oh yeah. And beating them with a wooden spoon. Did you really just say that? Why wouldn't? What's wrong with metal? We have both. One for each hand. One for each hand. I think she beat you back. She would. I tell you what, we were playing outside the other day. Jackson was asleep. So like to take the opportunity and we got outside playing. She didn't want to play with anything, any toys, you know, we have 7,000,000,000 toys in this house. Didn't want to play with any of those. She just wanted to play with the sink bowl. So I filled it with some warm water, put some washing up liquid in there so we had the bubbles. We were just sat on the patio playing. So I took out a couple of wooden spoons, the whisk, the handheld whisk and something else, possibly a masher or something, you know, which she's playing with. She's not washing them. She's throwing water around and stuff for them. And then she whacked me with the whisk because it was funny. You know, I was working from home and I suffered so much FOMO because I just wanted to be out there with them and as she's becoming more interactive, that's where I kind of come into play a bit more in terms of the entertainment. So I was really feeling like I was missing out, but I did get to join in, didn't I? Yeah, I haven't got you back for that yet, actually. So Laura and I play them, trucking water everywhere. You know, it's controlled. Like I'm not getting covered in water so much. I mean, she is plastered with that out of nowhere. From the sky came this, I don't even know a huge, huge amount, a large amount of water from nowhere. And my twat of a husband had filled up a cup of water and threw out the window at me. I made sure it was lukewarm. It was. I did note that. Yeah. It was lukewarm. That's so good. Yeah. I draw the line at scolding, just in case I went on Lara. I was anticipating it to be like freezing, I was going to say wet then, obviously I was anticipating it to be wet. Freezing cold. I did think it would be cup of no, yeah, lukewarm. So thanks for that. I will get you back. You're welcome. Lira also then thought was hilarious. I never know whether I should film these things because they are like nice little moments for us, aren't they? Yeah. We'll remember it. Lira never will. No. When do they start remembering stuff? I don't know. Because you talk to people and they're like, oh, my earliest memory is, well, it's three. And I think Jesus Christ, I don't remember that. I can remember quite far back, but I don't know whether I can remember it or whether because I've watched films of it. You've watched home videos. People have talked about it for years. So I feel like I remember it. Yeah. So I don't believe that you can. There are snippets that I can remember from my house in Soltash. Yeah. And so I was free or below. There are snippets. I'm not saying I can remember like things happening, but there are definite memories that nobody could have told me because it was just me. Yeah. That makes sense. There's certain things that I can remember. But again, like you said, it's just like a snippet. Like in, I think it was our house in Penn Silver, which was yonks ago. We had like the bathroom doors, like a sliding door. I remember that. I don't know why I remember that, but I do. Yeah. So that's like things I remember. I can tell you what the door looked like or what the area looked like, but the door was sliding. I remember my dad had a office that I wasn't allowed in. Yeah. But I remember like seeing the chair, I can still picture the wood and that was in there and stuff. So. So, yeah, you do all these things and you have days out and they have all this stuff, all these toys and things, you don't bloody remember it. And there was that cool video where there was a little baby, it was probably, I would say maybe 18 months, no, maybe a bit younger and they gave one of his toys and like a cardboard box and he grabbed the box. They grabbed, I'll try and find it and repost it. I think I sent it to somebody. I'll repost it. Yeah. It's like one of his toys and then the TV remote and one of his toys and a hairbrush and every time he chose the other thing, well, the toy, wasn't it? Yeah. Kids don't need all that stuff. No, and I love it. When we cut out the car seat box and I cut out like a little flap in the roof so she could climb in and poke her head out and she was just loving it. Oh, yeah. Then she started coloring the box in. Yeah. It started just fun, isn't it? Yeah. And she's also taken to coloring the carpet in, which is also good fun. Yeah. Not quite walls yet. Do you know what? I was thinking about that the other day. At what point is she going to really push it and chance touching the wall with a pen or a crayon or something? Yeah. Because she does shoes pretty much everything is bad, doesn't she? Yeah. Or the dog. She's going to try and color the dog in or something. I mean, he's brown, so it's going to be pretty difficult to color him in. Yeah. Poor little love. Or Jackson. He'll be like led there or something and she'll be like that. Oh, yeah. I reckon that could be the one with the hands or something. I'll give him a little makeover. Yeah. Poor boy. Oh. He doesn't know what hit him. He doesn't know. I just hope he's got some balls. I mean, the size of him, you'd hope you would hope that he would put that, you'd that testosterone to stand up for himself. But I think Lyra has probably got more than him. She's a force to be reckoned with. Yeah. And I think... Yeah. And that's all your fault. I know. But I would rather that. Yeah. I would rather she is fiercely independent, sassy, got something about her, than not. Yeah, definitely. One thing I wish I could, I could be more, is assertive. And she has that. Yeah. Oh, she does, yeah. Yeah. She's looking too. We've got a little dictator on the horizon. God, haven't we just, haven't we just? World War 3, watch out. Don't say that. Yeah. What do you think Lyra's going to... Right this second, what do you think Lyra's going to be like when she grows up? I think she'll be just like me in that, which I also don't think is a bad thing, by the way, before you say anything. I think that she'll be an absolute hella at school, and not saying that I was a hella. Do you think she's going to be stubborn? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Crikey. I'm getting that. She's like it now. Yeah. Yeah. I think she's going to be an absolute hella at school. I think the teenage years, we're probably not going to talk at all. I think she's just going to be horrendous to live with. And then I think she's going to find herself, when she, I think she'll go after uni and find herself and be a brand new person from that point, but have the independence. I think she's going to love her daddy forever. Do you never leave home? And never leave home. She's going to be my little bestie. I think she'll always be a little bestie, but I think she'll do it from somewhere else. Remotely. Remotely, yeah, she'll just teams you or Skype you or something. Hey, Daddy. Whatever there is in the future. Whatever it is. Yeah. Caliport. Yeah. Right. Yeah. And then I think Jackson will I hope he's the same in that sense, but I don't think he will be. I think he'll be needy Jackson for life and he won't possibly go anywhere or do anything. Do you? I think he'll he'll stay home for as long as he can, he'll probably be 30 and still living at home. There's nothing wrong with that. No, I'm not saying. You might struggle to get a mortgage, Liz, with the rates as they are, he probably is perfectly normal to be 30 and not having your own house. Well, yeah. No, that's it. We were only 26. So that's not too far away. Well, it's for Jackson. And us probably. No, I reckon he's going to be a lad. Do you? Yeah. Well, he won't be bringing any lady friends home. I'm not having that, not in my house. Well you'd rather him go to theirs. Yeah. Be a gentleman. No, I reckon he's going to be a top shagger just like his dad. When have you ever been a top shagger? Two kids, less than two years. It's at least twice. Congratulations. Next step, Daddy Love Island. Oh, God. Daddy Love Island. Yeah. Well, your dad bod. Exactly. MTV, if you're listening. I don't know, it's MTV still on ITV Netflix, Netflix special. Daddy Island, if you all just sat around complaining about aches and pains, I'm shattered today. And our roof boxes and your barbecues. I could talk about that visual. You can turn to doing barbecues. Oh my God. I don't think this concept is going to take off. I'm so excited. Yeah. I don't think it's going to happen to my mom. So you've done a couple of solo parenting nights as well recently, haven't you? I have, yes. That's going to struggle. You decided not to come home from work a few nights. Yeah. My God. Yeah. And I did feel guilty about that. I really enjoyed my time out, but it would have been better after bedtime. Do you know what? It just makes for a long day, especially if Lyra hasn't been a nursery for the day. So, and especially if the weather's bad as well, if we stay in all day, play in or whatever, and then I'm on my own in the evening, it's, it's a, it's a hard slog, it's hard, hard slog. Don't know, it kind of sounds rude the way you said it. No, it is, it is hard. Because Jackson obviously has no sort of routine whatsoever, and Lyra does have a routine. So when Lyra, you know, they have a bath and bath time's fine, I can do that on my own, not a problem. And then bedtime comes and Lyra is very routine in that once she has a bath, she doesn't go back downstairs, we stay upstairs, gets ready for bed, has a book, some milk, goes to bed. That's her evening routine. Obviously with Jackson, she gets ready for bed, he gets ready for bed. He has milk, she has milk, but then it's always such a kerfuffle. She then doesn't want a book, which is fine, so then she just wants to go to bed, which is fine, but then she wants to hold your hand, which is fine, apart from if Jackson's kicking off, he wants you to be stood up, so then you can't hold Lyra's hand, so then she gets upset. It's like, oh my God, this is a nightmare. Yeah, we should probably talk about the progression of bedtime. So at one point, a few months back, we've always done a bit of a bum tap to help Lyra go to sleep, but then that started getting out of hand when, if you stopped, she would shout, "Chap!" And then proceed to tap her bum to show you how to do it in her sleep, which is hilarious. And again, you try not to laugh, because it's bedtime and all those sorts of things, but we had to get out of this because it was getting longer and longer. Oh, like you could be in a room for an hour tapping her bum before she'd fall asleep. Yeah, so Liz sort of ripped the plaster off as such, and that was a tough, tough one, but settled for hand-holding. Yeah, so she just wants to hold your hands, she wants to know you're there. Which in turn is almost more controlling, because you have to try and pry away one finger at a time, which is so slowly, and then slowly stand up and walk out of her room. And obviously, at that point, the house is silent, and you can hear every single creak and footstep, and all of a sudden, the door that's never made a noise, makes a noise. Yeah, just... Well, for me, I find many obstacles to kick. Yeah, there's nothing in her bedroom, but yet you can kick the chest of drawers that's never moved. Or, I figured out at night now, my ankles click, that's woken her up a couple of times, I've got to stand up, and my toe or ankle is gone. Yeah, so now we need to get out of the hand-holding thing. But then I'm kind of like, well, that's only going to be for a few years. Yeah, 14-year-old holding her hands. Yeah, but she's only going to want you to put her to bed for so long. And everything else has just been a natural step, hasn't it? It's just happened one day. Yeah. So you just kind of think, well, when they're ready, they probably will. Yeah, so I guess the next thing is potty training. Yeah, which we've already started. Yes, that's fun, isn't it? Yeah, it's a bit of a minefield. I mean, everyone says to you, "Oh, you know, they'll tell you when they're ready." Wow. I don't know about that. Like Lyra has seen her cousin, Jerry. Yeah, she wants to copy him. And she wants to copy it. But she doesn't really understand what it's about, does she? No, and she thinks it's absolutely hilarious when she says poop. Yep, she is loving poop. Every time, I could scratch my ass and she goes poop, and if I'm lying down, she'll check my bum for poop. Oh, she does. Yeah, she lied down. She likes to try and check your bum for a poop dirty girl. Yeah, so don't know how we're going to navigate that. I think it's just repetition, isn't it? And one day it will just click. The thing I'm worried about most about the potty training is obviously we tell Barrie to go outside for wee-wees, so Lyra likes to tell Barrie to go out for wee-wees. I don't want her to get confused and think that she has to go outside. Do you know what I mean? Because that could happen. Can you imagine? We go right, Lyra, come on, you need to go for a wee, as she goes to try to go outside. I think she doesn't distinguish the difference between a dog and a human, though. Do you? Yes. I don't know. I do. I trust her intelligence that much. That's it. Yeah, so it's going to be interesting. Yeah. It's going to be intense. It will be. But I think she's clever enough that she'll figure it out. Yeah. I'm just crossing that bridge when we get to it. Yeah, because she's already telling us when g-wees. So the next step is getting her to tell us just before. Just before. And the only way of doing that is to just get on with it, isn't it? Like everything else. Just got to get on with it. The fun bit will be when we've got a potty train, Jackson. I know it's a little way off. Obviously, he's got a winky as a whole different kind of fish. Yeah. Just this morning, he looked at me lovingly in the eye and started sprinkling, luckily, a quartet. He's a dirty bugger. I seem to get the vibes of what I like. I know when he's going to, whereas you don't. Oh, God. I've been weed on. I've lost count on how many times. And poor sofa, I've washed it hundreds of times now, the cushions. Yeah. And we've got this little cuddle thing, which one of the girls in work suggested to us. We borrowed hers. And it is fantastic. Yeah. He sleeps on it when he's on the sofa, like cuddles him. But Liz has decided to change him on it. And obviously, Liz isn't good at detecting we. She doesn't have a spring kilometer. And putting the pillow back in is the most challenging thing. So how do you think we're doing with self care? I don't think you're all doing very well. Is it the gray hairs that give it away? Yeah, especially on the chin. Oh, God. Yeah, I'll have you know, I don't have any hairs on my chin. Chinny, chin, chin. Um, well, I still shower every day. No, I mean, like I guess for a lot of parents thing may struggle to squeeze that in. You've always been good at that. You're good with Lyra, you're good with Lyra and Jackson because Lyra is a bit more independent now. Yeah. So what happens is I'm like, wait, time for a shower. And Lyra is like, oh, for God's sake, all right. So up we go, trundling upstairs. And then she becomes this absolute mad woman for 10, 15 minutes, running up and down the landing, going into every single room, pulling out all the clothes in every single drawer that she can get her hands on. And Jackson just sits in his little bouncy chair, either happy as Larry or screaming. And I just, I'm like, well, I'm just going to shower. Everyone just carry on about your business and I'm going to shower. But I guess most parents or a number of parents would get out the shower to soothe their screaming baby. I'm the whole like, no, no, I need to shower. Yeah, because you know they'll be okay. Well, he's contained. I can see him. Yeah. He's absolutely fine. Yeah. And I know like Lyra's not sat on him or anything, it's like, he's completely visible. He is absolutely fine. He's just not happy that he's not being picked up. Yeah. See, even I would struggle with that. I think you just block it out because obviously I spend all my time with him completely like all my time is with him. You just, you just learn to, yeah, ignore it, especially in the car. Oh my God. In the car, he's a nightmare. A second he gets in the car seat. He is screaming. Our neighbors must think he cries all the time because obviously I leave the house. He is screaming that I get back out of the car. He is screaming. What's her name opposite? Vacuum lady. Vacuum. Vacuum lady. She said something to your sister, didn't she? Yeah. She said about how she hears the baby scream or hears the baby crying and so she has a little look out her window to make sure everything's okay. Which is the perfect place to be able to see if everything's okay. Yes, don't knock on the door and just check in that we're all right. Just have a little pop out your window. And she often sees me bobbing up and down. Oh yeah. And I see daddy holding the baby bobbing up and down in the living room. It's like, okay. You creep. I'd never be able to have an affair, would I? Good. That's bad. Yeah, but what about Sparet, like, having you time? That's what that was what I was originally getting at, how it's you kind of deflected. I don't have any me time. You went out and saw Amy. I did. Actually, yeah, that's true. I had a few out. I had a few tippily twos. Yeah. So I had a few hours at Amy's house, which was lovely one evening. But before that I had to put Lyra to bed, I had to know that she was in bed, not like safe and secure, but you know what I mean, like, you're not causing trouble or anything. But also, you know, I do get a bit flustered. Yeah. And I try, but it's so different because I don't do those things all the time. Yeah. So, where is Liz is doing it for the hundredth time, I'm probably only on two or three. Yeah. So even the children are like, well, this is weird. Oh, yeah. Lyra's like that. She's really funny with me putting her to bed. Yeah, she's just like, well, no, you don't do that. You don't do that. Do you? Yeah. And I would, and actually it's one of my favourite parts is reading the book, giving the milk and putting her to bed and holding her hand. It is a nice moment, isn't it? It is a lovely moment. I know it wouldn't last forever and I feel like I've missed out a bit on that. You could put Jackson to bed every night if you want. I mean, let's not go too far. But no, I did get out the other night, didn't I? That was nice. Went out at various points for Dale's endurance challenge as well. Yeah. And I genuinely would really like you to go out. Like, where do you go? Those things you could do, I think if you put your mind to it, you are social enough and surprisingly likable enough. Surprisingly. That people would love to go for a meal or something. Sometimes you just don't want to do that. Why can't I just, it's sometimes like some me time is just sat on the sofa, sat on my phone, doing absolutely nothing, eating five mini rolls in one, sitting in it. You've done that today. Actually, I've only eaten one, so no, I've eaten two, I've eaten two. Why lie to the listeners? So I'll eat the other three in a minute, but that's, do you know what I mean? I don't have to go out to have me time, but I can't have me time at home with both children because I'm instantly like, oh, I'll just, I'll do that, I'll do that, like I'll just go and do this and you just can't. I don't know how we get around that though. I think I just need to, I don't know, go on a cruise or something for a month. I get all my me time in one and then I'm done for a couple of years. Go on then. Off you go. I'll be rubbish on a cruise. Oh, I would love it. You would know every single person on that cruise. And I reckon I'd be like, schmoozing up to the old, like, you know, there's Jerry, how's the hip doing? That's how I feel at the minute, how's my bloody hip? Oh my God. I feel like an old woman. I hate to tell you. I look like an old woman. The last 15 weeks has aged me. You need some more U-time. I don't know that I need it. It would be nice to have it. No, I think it's turning into a need, actually. Do you? Yeah. Because also, for you, it's an attachment thing. Oh, God, yeah, don't touch my child. I know. It's really, it's really interesting. I was like it with Lyra, not quite as bad of Lyra. I don't know why. It's just a control thing. That's all it is. Yeah. And I know that I can be and have been in the past a bit of a control freak. You've got an exclusive here on the Derraltals podcast. I've never heard those words pass from my lovely wife's mouth. I've been out a couple of times as well, haven't I? But actually, not that many. The problem is, I work full time. That's the difference, though. Straight away, is that you leave the house every day on your own. I don't understand what you expected before having a child. No, I'm not. I'm not saying that, what I'm saying is that is the difference of you having, I know you're going to work, but you do have you time. You get to leave the house, drive off to work, or if you get to do whatever you want in the car, listen to your podcast, whatever, you're talking to adults all day, you haven't got screaming children, you haven't got the worry of having to be responsible for two children or even one child, like, you have a lunch break, you then get to drive home. You know what I mean, there's like a big bulk of the day that you do have time to think and time to yourself. Well, no, no, you're working because you still have that time. There are points where you get that time, which I don't, I don't get to sit there for an hour and have a lunch break. I mean, I'm lucky if Jackson sleeps for more than 20 minutes, so I can put the washing in. Like, I don't get that, and that's why I think I envy you then going out of an evening and doing something because, like, actually, I want to do that. Yeah, but when you, it's not like anything's stopping you. But I feel like there is. I don't understand what. I have two children at home that need me. But they don't need you if I'm there. They do. They need them, Mommy. See? That this is what- I would worry you, like, if you put them both to bed, like bedtime comes and you have to do bedtime routine on your own with both of them, it is bloody hard work. But I wouldn't know that until I do it. Yeah, but I wouldn't want to stress you out by giving you that to do. You wouldn't be giving me that. That would be something I- Well, I'm not giving it to you, but you would have to do that. I wouldn't want you to have to do that because I know it's stressful. I think you've just got to put your big girl pants on and get out of the house. All I've got is big girl pants. Horrendous. Like t-shirts. I got big, Mom. The only way- the only way to get through it is to just chuck me in at the deep end. There's no amount of prep you can do, isn't there? You just have to see how it goes. Actually, I did go away for the day, the other day. You were at home with the pair of them. Yeah, and I loved it. I know because it was a one-off, but like your mother has had Lyra by herself more than I have. Yeah, but that's because you work. Yeah, I know. But that's the fact. I mean, that's just probably out of more than I have. Because you won't go away. I won't go now. I've got to go. I've got to go. There are plenty of places you could go. I've got no friends. Don't. That's my saying. Everyone works. Booh, work. That's what Lyra says when Daz goes to work in the morning. Bye, Daddy. Booh, work. We have taught her that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And also, I've been watching these things on Facebook. Here we go. And he's pointing at me as well. There are all these videos saying, like, how to deal with ADHD. I've never been diagnosed with ADHD. Right. But I have, like, all the symptoms, or nearly all the symptoms. Okay. What do I do? What? Like, do you... What do you want to do? Well, I don't know. Does somebody have to... Do you want to find out? If you've got ADHD? Well, it'd be nice to know. Would it change your life in any way, shape or form? Don't think it would. Don't think it would. But... Would you like to have that label? I would like to know what I've got. And I find comfort in understanding the science behind why I am the way I am. So when I was really suffering with anxiety, what helped me the most was hearing the science behind. It's like, huh, that's okay. It's like, I can deal with that. I can understand that. Right. So what do you want to explore? I might... Yeah, I'm thinking about exploring. An ADHD diagnosis. Yeah. Potentially. Yeah. So I wouldn't want to... I'm sure medication is probably the only answer, which I wouldn't be interested in. But there are times when I feel like I get so hyper. Yeah. It's like being drunk. Like, I'd say stuff that in the moment... And you don't think you could just put it down to just being gobbie and inappropriate? Absolutely. It could be. But it would just be good to know. So do you have, like, a favourite moment so far with both our children individually and together if... Well, my favourite moment of them together is when Lyra met Jackson. It was incredible. Oh, my God. She just melted me. And actually, those moments have continued because every morning she comes into our bedroom when she wakes up and obviously Jackson's still with us at the minute and she starts yammering on. And he just beams. He's so smiley and happy to see her and hear her like, "I just love that." And they had a cuddle this morning and the photos were just incredible. Lyra's just got this cheeky smile now. As soon as she sees the camera, she will cheeky smile and it's like almost going. It's that funny. Where she gets her poses from. Oh, my God. Liz, you could go through, like, somebody else's wedding and where as you see, like, the people in the background, she is always looking at that camera with the same smile. Yeah. It is madness. I don't know why I just, I sense a camera and I'm like, "Smile." So, yeah, that's my favourite moment of them together. Individually, my favourite moment so far with Jackson. No, he's getting a bit older, he's probably a bit more fun in that, like, he's, no, we suddenly decided that he's ticklish on his feet and his little laugh. Oh, his little giggled. That's just adorable. Yeah. With Lyra, favourite. I just think every day we've Lyra at the minute, something changes but I'm particularly loving her strung in her sentences together. It's incredible. So she says things like, "Mommy, where are you?" Oh. And you're like, "Oh, where did you learn to say that?" Yeah, so when she used to wake up, she used to just go, "Mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy," like we just said. But now, every now and again, she goes, "Mommy, where are you?" Yeah, you think, "Oh." And when she comes down in the morning, she'll be like, "Hello, Barry." "Hello, Barry." "Hello, Barry." And if Barry isn't there, "Barry, where are you?" Yeah. And it's so sweet. So I would say mine was definitely, with you completely, the giggling is the bit and obviously I spend my life trying to make people laugh. Yeah. Sometimes it's, I'll even take a pity laugh. I'm not fussy. I give you plenty of fizzy laughs. But with Lyra... It's tough, isn't it? It's really tough because there's so much going on with her. I also love that she wants me to like do her hair now. My favourite moment is probably when I first saw her hair being done, and she had this like Viking, like female Viking look, and I just think she looks amazing. Yes, because mommy's not very good at doing her hair. No, but yeah, you're... And I thought I'd be quite good. But because Lyra can't sit still for that long, which is understandable, I need just a little bit more time and a little bit more practice. However, when it comes to plating, I'm going to be all over that. Yeah, no, I love tying her hair up, you know, it's a little bunches. Then she pulls it out and it really pisses me off, but it's fine. Just do it again, and again, and again. So to round up, give me two highs and two lows. Two highs and two lows of the last sort of three months, really. The last three months, two highs, so I've just covered it. So Jackson Gigglem, not in Gigglem, that's a huge high. And Lyra, Lyra just coming into her own a little bit, like her independent, Jackson's work, her independence, her sassiness. Her need to do everything and learn everything, I just think that's just incredible, really. Two lows, so it's been, Jackson's, I say, is health issues. He hasn't got health issues, he's just been a challenge. That's been low, you know, that's been hard, because we didn't know what was happening. We still don't know what's happening, but he's fine. And another low point, I think there's been times where I've really struggled just with even not knowing what's happening with Jackson or if Lyra has given me a bit of a particularly tough day. So there has been, I can pinpoint a couple of times that it's just been a really tough day, and I've just like totally over it by the end of the day, yeah, which is, you know, it comes and it happens to everybody, I'm sure. But for me, it's not something that happens to me like that. Yeah, to the point where you're overwhelmed, overtired, and just mentally exhausted. Well, they call it overstimulated, don't they? They say, "Mommy's get overstimulated." Wow, I was over it, that's for sure, whatever it was, I was over it. So one of my lows, what is, when I come home and you've had a particularly bad day, you spend, well, I spend my life trying to protect and I would go nuts on anyone that upset you, but it's difficult when it's the children. It's the last thing you want, you just want the day to be okay and I'm not there to help, and that gets me, gets me really good it does, and the second low is probably one of those moments where I just felt completely stifled. Like I hadn't been out and had a beer with a mate in a long time and I've had a crappy day at work and I come home and I cannot, I can't say I've had a bad day because yours has been worse and I know it has, or like, if I say I'm tired, I'm nowhere near as tired. Yeah, I'm nowhere near as tired as you, I spend my life being open and sane, what I think, and that's, that for me, gets me sometimes. I understand that, but I don't want you to think that you can't say these things, you don't have to protect me from it, I know you're tired, I get that, it's just a different kind of tiredness. Yeah, but sometimes you'll come back with something sarky and I really cannot be dealing with it. Not me. It's because I know what you're going to say, so I don't say those things. You do have a terrible habit of telling me what I'm about to say before I say it. That's what years and years of being together it does. And my highs, let's finish on a high. Yeah, let's. So with Lyra, it was the other day, I just noticed that she could do more stuff. She was playing with this like wooden thing where you put the pictures in, I don't really know how to describe it without showing you. It's like a puzzle, isn't it? It's like a jigsaw puzzle for like toddlers and whatever, everybody's seen one, we all have one when we were little. We put the farm animals in the right place. And before she could tell me what the farm animals were, but she couldn't, and she could put them on the right spot, but she couldn't put it in because she didn't have the dexterity. Yes. And she did it without even like no fuss. And you know, like if I learn a new skill, I'm like, check me out. Check me out. Yeah, I did that. And she was, she was just cash. And it's little things like that that just, they're so amazing. Yeah. The second high, the final high, not the only high was where, was last night we put him on his tummy. And he was really, really trying to like crawl and it's the first time we've sort of seen him in that sort of development. It's like he's suddenly realised he's got these like arms in these legs and. Yeah. And I think you've got to take those moments and talk about them. Oh, God, yeah. You don't have to talk about them to friends because people get bored of hearing about children stuff, but between us, we've got to celebrate those things because it is incredible to see. Liz, thank you so much for joining us for another episode. I really appreciate it. And I've enjoyed it, actually. It is like a little therapist session. It is a little therapist session. And let it all out. So, guys, if you enjoy this sort of episode and it is relatable, which we hope it is, I'm sure we're not the only people that have gone through this. Or even if you enjoy it and you're not really a parent because I appreciate it, it's literally 100% parent talk. But if you just enjoy it getting in the insight to it, please let us know because we will do more. For us, we really enjoy it, and, yep, Jackson is joining in now. Thanks so much for your support so far. I'll speak to you again. Cheers! [Music] (upbeat music)