You are temporary, your job is temporary, your life is temporary, your relationships are temporary. Everything in it is impermanent. Whether you like it or not is real and nothing is forever. And you own nothing. Let's shout about that now. (upbeat music) Hey, hey, hey everybody and welcome back to the Positivity Experience. It's your girl Lori and I'm so excited that you're here, you're here now, right? You might not be here tomorrow. You might not be listening to this tomorrow or the next day, you might stop listening and it is, or you might get more people to listen. All of that is going to change. And why is that important? Because nothing is ever going to stay the same and you own nothing. And at the end of the day, people aren't yours to own. We're gonna go way deep into that on the acceptance of impermanence. And there's some other things that we're gonna do over there on the Patreon. Great worksheet. So if you find that you struggle or you're trying to figure out why or am I struggling with that or whatever the case may be, it's gonna be very, very helpful for you to do that worksheet. If that's your jam, pop on over to patreon at patreon.com/thepositivityexperience. And I think that you'll find that very helpful. Now this episode, it can be problematic. It might cause some anxiety in you and that's okay. Because whether you avoid it or not, it's going to happen. So let's talk about impermanence in general. So first of all, there is something called the impermanence of life. Now, before we go into this, I do practice a level of Buddhism. I kind of mix and match. I got some paganism, some Buddhism. I was raised Southern Baptist. It's not really my jam. So I have my own practices. But in Buddhism, impermanence is heavily rooted in that, but it is also very much a fact. So you can look it up in science. You can look up in psychology. You can look it up at anything. And at any given time, you are going to see that everything in your life is temporary. So there's a core idea in impermanence of life that everything in everyone is temporary. Emotions as well and experiences. So is bad or a good of a situation, it's temporary. It's there for a short moment. You're emotions that you get so attached to. This is why feelings aren't facts. Thoughts aren't facts, feelings aren't facts. 'Cause they're temporary, right? Think of a feeling and emotion, it's a wave, right? Sometimes it can be, ooh, it can be a deep wave. Like we are going surfing wave. And other times it can just be low lying and other times it can be really calm. Sometimes never calm, but it's there. But it is temporary. The situation, the job that you're in, temporary, the relationship that you're in, temporary. And this is so important. I talk about it a little bit over on that worksheet. You don't own people. I think we need to be very clear there. You can't lose someone because they're not keys. That is attachment to very different things. You are attached thinking that you own someone. You don't possess anybody. You don't own anyone. And this is where you feeling like, oh my God, I'm so attached. If this person leaves me, I don't know what's gonna happen. They are gonna leave you at some point. Not everybody is permanent. Your life isn't going to remain on this planet. So worrying about if you're gonna lose somebody or what if this happens and when this happens, you're not outrunning it, okay? Sure, you can do things to hopefully prolong it. Eat healthy, move your body. You're not gonna change it. I mean, again, might prolong it? Might not, but you're not gonna stop it. Acceptance. If someone does not want to be with you, they do not have to be with you. Your life is not going to fall apart. If it is, then you've been an attachment. Relationships don't have to remain. Relationships are not obligated to remain. So you appreciate it for what it is in the moment. When you know that things are imperfect, when the days are good, when the moments are good, when those conversations are good, appreciate them. Don't go down that rabbit hole like, well, this is great. Every time things are going good, then the shoe drops. Okay, why are we in tomorrow? Why are we in tomorrow? If you can't, if you're so worried about when something's going to end, especially like a relationship, you're not in the relationship in the first place. It will, whether it be, you know, something final, or a choice, it's going to end at some point. You know, and it's a Buddhist practice of an impermanence. It's like a, it's a Mark III of existence, right? Or it's like a three caliber of existence. And your people aren't yours to own. You do not own people. You do not own them as possessions. They do not owe you anything. Very important. And that's why a connection is different than an attachment. So a connection says, I appreciate this conversation right now. There is this psychological thing, and people who will tell you about confidence and everything will also demonstrate this to you. The art of listening, people don't listen, right? Because they're anticipating, I need to come back or I need to respond this way. But to be connected to what someone is saying, whether you agree with it or not, to look at somebody in the eye, to hear that now with ADHD, it's a little hard. 'Cause our eyes start places. It doesn't mean that we're liars. But you try to stay engaged with the conversation 'cause you're in that moment. Don't worry about if you like it, don't like it. If you're gonna respond or you're not, stay in that moment. That's how you gain meaningful relationships and you're not worried about, is that relationship gonna end or is it gonna continue? It's just gonna be what it is. And that is your illusion of ownership. I don't care even your children, even your children, you do not own them. Relationships are connections and not prisons. This is important. If you're trying to own something or you're trying to possess it and you're trying to know this is gonna work and know it's gonna be there, you want a prisoner, you don't want a partner. If you gotta follow up on somebody's whereabouts, what they're doing, who they're talking to, why this, why that, you don't want a partner. You want a prisoner and that's not okay. And don't let anybody put you in like an imprisoned expectation in their mind. Because people will relate their identity to relationships. You see this a lot in empty nesters. You see this a lot in people who have been in a long-term relationship but then lost themselves because they chose to move cross-country or they chose to do that because they were giving. They were hoping for something to be different and it wasn't. And then you hold onto something and you're holding onto the idea but you're gonna have to let that go. It is how it is and in this moment in time is all you have for it. It is impermanent. And if you've attached your identity to being a parent, you've attached your identity to being a teacher. You've attached your identity as a husband or a spouse or whatever the case may be, you are attaching your identity to it. So the thought of that relationship ending or the thought of that relationship going south is hard for you because you've attached your value and worked to an external thing that is always going to be a horrible thing. There's never one time where that's a good opportunity or a good thing to do. Because the moment that relationship or that job or that situation ends or dissolves or whatever the case may be, you've now feel like you're drowning because you attached value and attached expectations to it. That's why you struggle with that. That's why you struggle with it. Because now what? Well, this is what I had planned. Well, your plans are not, the universe does not care about your plans. Though, the universe doesn't go, well, that's not in the plans. Well, that's not in their plans, I'm not going to do that. It's going to be what it's going to be. So that's why you stay connected enough to appreciate those moments in time, not waiting for them to end. Alternatively, on those horrible, horrible moments and those days that you're just the seconds and the traumas and all that stuff, you will move through that. That is not permanent. I know it can go on a long time, but there's options and different things and that's why you want to be able to process it. And that's the difference between connection and detachment. 'Cause a connection is in the present moment. I appreciate this for what it is. Sure, be forward thinking, be like, oh, we'll see where this relationship goes, but don't live there. Why are we, if you see this a lot in what we call the Sunday scariest, so let's say whatever your Sunday is, it's like one, two o'clock and you're like, oh, I'm having such a good day. You're sitting out, you're doing this and you're like, ah, damn it. I gotta get up early tomorrow for work. What the hell? We are here today at two. You just now took every bit of fun out of your day 'cause you're too worried about tomorrow. You're not staying in a present space. Well, yeah, but it's not gonna go anywhere. First of all, you don't know that. In second of all, what the hell can you do about it right now? The hell, you can't do that meeting today. Stop. You have to stay in the present moment or life is gonna pass you by. You're gonna wake up hopefully healthy at 90 and go, what the hell just happened? Where did my life go? Because you were always chasing a what if. I gotta control it. I gotta control this narrative. You're not controlling shit. You're not controlling it. What you're controlling is you're controlling the lack of growth. That's what you're controlling. You are controlling a lack of growth. And until you're willing to drop that, then that's gonna be a problem. 'Cause remember, a relationship is shared connection. A relationship is shared connection, which means some days somebody's gonna have a grit, not so great day and other days, other people are gonna have such a great day. But you share the connection. You communicate without worrying about if I communicate this relationship's gonna end. If you communicate in a healthy way, if you communicate in the relationships and then it ends, then it's ending. It is something that you have to accept. That relationship does not have to continue. It's not owed to you. Nothing is owed to you. So if you appreciate it for what it is, you can also evaluate it and say, does this present red flags to me? Am I seeing something that is not promoting my growth? Or am I avoiding seeing it is a better thing? 'Cause a lot of times you'll avoid it because the acceptance that I better have somebody for the sake of having somebody versus not having anybody. Well, you don't have them anyway. You don't want a breathing body of oxygen next to you if they don't wanna be there. So if you're worried about them being gone, I mean, there's a deeper rooted issue. Let's say you have property together. Let's say you're financially dependent. It ain't just about losing the person. It's about having to deal with this now. Oh my God, what's this gonna look like? So you convince yourself that you're trying to make it work and sometimes you are, but there's a lot of other contributing factors. Don't attach to them. We can navigate through them. You're not the first person to go through it even though sometimes it feels like it is the deepest one for you. And you can't anticipate, you're living in an anticipatory space. You again are thinking you have control over things and your connections are connections, but they're not permanent. You just can't do that. Now detachment is the way to go. Detachment and go listen to the podcast on detachment versus attachment, listen to letting go. All of the podcasts here can help you with this. But if you're not willing to release, if you are not willing to release the attachments to the traumas, to the situations, to the relationships, to the desires, really, I didn't say pretend it doesn't exist. I said release that attachment. If you're not willing to release the fact that you wish that that relationship would have been longer or this would have happened and that would have happened and you're holding on to it, then that's an issue. You gotta let go of the need to control or cling to outcomes. This is also projecting an outcome and saying, okay, I will feel happy when blank. If we were just together, then I'd feel happy. No one's gonna make you happy, but you. You can call it cliche, call it whatever you want. That's also a fact. So the reason you hear that so much is because it's a factual based thing. It's based on facts. And then you gotta remember, then you're gonna start moving the goal post again. Man, if I just had a person to do stuff with, I would be so happy. Cool, you get the person. And you're like, oh my God, this feels great. And then you're like, huh, I still have the person. That's cool, but why do I feel so empty still? Oh, I don't know. Maybe we should get, oh, I hope we get engaged. I mean, I'm ready to go the next step. Now you get engaged. You're like, oh my God, I'm so happy. Look at my ring, it's so cool. And now you're a little distracted 'cause you can play in the wedding. And now after the wedding, 'cause that's all you wanted, you're gonna be happy, right? You're gonna be happy. Oh, so far we've moved the goal post. You're gonna be happy 'cause you're attaching the outcome, that happiness to an outcome. Now you've gotten married. You got that. Yeah, you're gonna buy a house. 'Cause you're like, oh, no, this house is gonna be big enough. I wanna have kids on, okay, cool. I'll be so much happier when I get this. Now you get the house, brand new house. You designed it yourself. And you're in there for a month or two. And you're like, oh man, next time I get a house, I think I want a bigger kitchen because that's normal. But again, you're still, you're happy for a hot minute. And then you're not. And now you're like, oh, well, I wanna have kids. I'm never gonna be happy to have kids. I'll be so happy when I have kids. Now you have kids. They come with their own stuff. So now you keep moving the goal post. You're chasing happiness based on attaching something to an outcome that is temporary. Every one of those things is temporary. That happiness was temporary. Oh, look at me, I got my own gauge. I'm so excited. I had the best wedding ever. My honeymoon was amazing. Okay, that was like six weeks ago. And you're like, it was so fun. It was so fun. But now that those moments are fleeting. Like, oh, I wish I could go back. That was nice. You're back to normal life or regular life, not normal life, regular life. So if you pay attention, you can see that you're attaching yourself to something permanently that is temporary. And that's always gonna create a problem. And you gotta stop trying to keep someone. Stop. Losses and challenges are a normal part of life. Including events. Normal part of life. There's gonna be challenges. There's gonna be uncomfortable times. There's gonna be uncomfortable situations. But when you're attaching the idea of what love is to an image, right? So now you have this image and you're attaching that image of a healthy relationship to this. I will be happy if this. I will be happy if this relationship is this way. 'Cause now you're attaching that. And then you see no red flags. Even though it's like you're on Baywatch Beach and there's nothing but red flags. Whoa, red flags, red flags, red flags. And you're like, nah, think the sun's just shining on those green flags and make them red. You're choosing not to see it. So then when you get in a relationship and it goes a little south, you go, oh, well, I just kinda thought that it would change. Or, you know, I thought it was different. 'Cause you were attaching something. It's impermanent. Even if it was everything that you wanted it to be. It's everything that you desired it to be. It can go away. Well, I know that's what I'm afraid of. Well, it isn't gone now. I mean, there's no getting around this. So to avoid it and to avoid accepting it and to avoid it and not like, I don't like it. Doesn't matter. I wish it was different. It's not. I don't understand why you don't have to. It is not permanent. And this is why I have a lot of people who after they've retired, law enforcement, doctors, lawyers, people in general, they attach that their value, their worth and everything to that 40 years. Let's say it's 30 years. They attach that. Now that's gone. So now they don't know who the hell they are. So now they're like, oh my God, what'd I do with myself? Oh no, who the hell I am? 'Cause they attach their value worth and who they were in a job. That's what you do. That's not who you are. Be proud of being a doctor. Be proud of being a firefighter. Be proud of being a teacher. That does not define you. That does not define you. And at some point you won't be that anymore. So I hope that you're more than just what you're showing up to do. 'Cause if you're not, it's gonna be a real hard issue for you. And practical exercises to stay present. Five journals, break out those five journals. Gotta do the five, meditation. Meditation is proven scientifically, psychologically. And alternatively, to be effective, everybody is telling you this but yet you'll avoid doing it. And how can you enjoy your relationship by what it is today and not with what will it be in the future? That's great. I love that you think about the future. I love that you're doing that. Love that for you. No, no, you can't do that because you're always going to then think, well, if this changes, then this relationship will continue. Now you're banking on something in the future that is not happening, that might not ever happen, and you're constantly in projection. Let it be what it is. See things for what it is. See people for who they are, not who you want them to be. You're holding out on hope on something that is impermanent. And if it's going good, appreciate it in this moment. If things, if you are having a good moment, relish it. Don't wear it, look for when it's gonna end. Oh, I mean, I'll tell you it's gonna end, it is. But those days that are so sad and so depressive, they're not gonna stay forever either. So it's not a sad thing, it's just is. It's not good, it's not bad, it just is. And that's the part where people who are in, who have control issues, who don't like the unknown, the unknown is always going to exist. It's always gonna be there. So you have choices. You can try to prevent it. You can try to get attached to the idea that it may never happen, but it will. It's not always gonna last forever. So you might as well ride that wave while you're on the surfboard. At some point it'll crash and you guess what? You get up, you paddle back out, you wave for a good wave, you catch it, you come back in, you go back out. That's how resilience comes into play. That's resilience. How can you enjoy your relationship right now? If it's not working for you, all you can do is vocalize it and if don't sit there and keep waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting. And there's reasons for resistance. There's something called status quo bias. Status quo means, yeah, we're keeping the thing, staying the same. Status quo is where you're okay. You're like, I'm not sad, I'm not happy. I'm just, yeah, I'm okay. Status quo, I'm just average. Why is that okay? Why is that enough for you? So you resist accepting this 'cause you're like, well, you know, I don't really want change. I like things kind of how they are. I don't wanna focus on any losses, but that's all I focus on is just my losses. I can never see anything forward. I'm always focusing on what I don't wanna lose and all of these things. This is where I am, resistance. This is called status quo biases. It has a name, cool, right? And that's where you have to understand that if you're trying to stay sane, but yet you want to feel better and you're not willing to challenge it, and you're not willing to accept that you only have this present moment in time. If you're not willing to accept that the unknown is where growth is, and I don't care what you want your relationship to be, what if they cheat, then they cheat. Then they cheat, then you make a determination there, but don't sit there and say what if they cheat, and now everything that you're doing is a projection of their cheating and it really isn't cheating at all. They're just out having a great time with some friends. Well, you're projecting that because you're trying to control that. If you're constantly worried about it, then I would encourage you not to get in a relationship. Let's work on that deeper acceptance that a person's gonna do what a person does. Just 'cause you're married, just 'cause you have this idea, you know, it's great. We hope that people stay faithful for the most part. Most of us wanna make sure that our partners are faithful, but if you're chasing, are they, are they, are they? You're not in a good relationship and you're not providing a good relationship for the other person. And I mean, that just, it is what it is. And if your identity is tied to status, people, anything ego, denial, that's what that is, rationalization, your ego goes into such high gear of, I can't accept that for how it is. Well, it doesn't change the fact that it is what it is. You don't have to like it. You can don't have to surround yourself with it. You can protect your peace. You can establish boundaries and you can put that distance in play. Yes, you can. But to not accept it only harms you. You don't accept it all you want, doesn't change the facts. 'Cause remember, facts are different. Facts don't change. Thoughts and feelings do. Of fact, as I'm sitting here looking out the window, the sun is out and it's partly cloudy or mostly cloudy. I don't know who determines that. I'll say mostly cloudy 'cause I was gonna be meteorologist in my brain. That's the fact here. That is the fact here. That is the fact. I don't care what my mood is, that's a fact. So you also have to understand that people's facts, sometimes facts are very different. Right now, somewhere, it's dark, somewhere, it's raining, somewhere, it's cloudy, somewhere, it might be snowing even. But my reality is here and that's a fact-based thing. But guess what, that's gonna change. And why there's gonna change? The change of seasons is coming. You can say, "Oh, I don't know if I like the cold." Well, the cold doesn't care, cold's gonna be here. They're like, "You don't like it, go somewhere else." Because that's how that goes. That's why you can't complain about things 'cause things are gonna be very, very temporary. And if you have psychological inflexibility, we've talked about this before, where you're only willing to see it this way. There's only one plan A, I like it this way, I expect it this way, I don't wanna see anything outside of that. And if I do, it's wrong, it's scary, I don't like it, I'm gonna come back to where I am. That's psychological inflexibility. And it's also what I call adaptability, just a little different, like your psychological inflexibility says, "I don't wanna adapt on that, "I don't like this." And the beautiful thing is you do have choices. If you don't like something for the most part, if you don't like something, change it. You don't, however, say, "I don't like it, "but this will get better. "I don't like it, but this will happen." What about now? Your great relationship may not be great ever. It might not, it might just be great today. It might just be great today. Your animals, which is the hardest thing for me personally, not so much people, animals. I love my, I'm connected, I'm not attached, but animals don't usually have a longevity that I would like for them to have. It's sad, but I can't control it. I could wish, I could say, "Oh my God, "I wish you could live to be 50." Depending on the animal, most animals can't. I can be sad about it, but it doesn't stop it from happening. So I want to appreciate the times that I have with my cats. I play with them, I snuggle them, we snuggle up each day. I'm like, "Oh my gosh, I have my kitty cats." I don't wanna think about when they're gonna go though. I don't wanna think about, you know, you'll do that a lot with people as they get older. You'll start saying, "Oh my God, like I don't, "I don't want to think about not having my grandfather "or my grandmother or my parents." It's gonna happen, whether you like it or not, it's gonna happen, but if you keep chasing, "Well, what if this happens and I don't want them to go?" Well, then you're not even living and appreciating them for who they are today. When you don't accept impermanence, you aren't living in a life that is gonna cultivate any positivity for you or any positive, healthy relationships. If you are living in the, "Oh my God, I don't want this to end, "I don't want this end, I don't want this end, "I don't want these people to go," you're not happy, you're not going to be happy. You are going to create anxiety for yourself. Your lack of acceptability is preventing you from having cultivated good relationships. That's a hard thing for people. Why else do we have resistance? Well, obviously, attachments. You have attachments. Go listen to my podcast on attachments. Go, I even have an attachment worksheet on Patreon. I have attachments on my YouTube. Go listen to it, but with the attachments, you gotta remember, if you have anxious attachment, you have avoid an attachment or disorganize attachment, secure attachment is a good attachment. We like that, that's where you wanna work through. If you have them, that's why you are resistant in accepting it, like there are psychological reasons why you're resistant and that's why things like therapy and medication and mindfulness and coaching and direction and all of these things exist because whether you're attached, whether you've had trauma, whether you have codependency, whether you have depression, schizophrenia, ADHD, OCD, everything is still impermanent. So it does make it harder. It makes it harder to think about, right? It's sadder and that's why, especially with anxiety and obsessive thinking, which is pureo, the pureo part of obsession, obsessive compulsive disorder, it does make it hard because you get on that merry-go-round loop and it's really scary and anxiety producing, honestly, if you, that's why you can't sit there and obsess on it because if you obsess on the impermanence of life in general, that's gonna create heavy anxiety, that's gonna create beer, it's gonna create, oh God, all kinds of phobias, you're not gonna exist. I mean, oh my gosh, it's gonna be such a hard thing. So there's this acceptance that I right now can't do anything about it and while sometimes that's not so easy to accept, and I get it. Oh my God, I get it so much. It's a challenge every day and I have to go, okay, well, you know what, can I do anything about this? Nope, then am I here today? This is where I gotta be. Got a headache, okay, this sucks 'cause my allergies, right? My allergies, okay, well, they'll go. I can't because it is so easy to go down this spiral of going, oh my God, what am I doing? My grandfather goes, what am I doing? My animals go, what am I gonna do in this? What am I gonna do with that? What if this job goes? You can't control that because it is temporary and I know that's a bitter pill to swallow. I know it is. A lot of times you're, because of the attachments, you're looking at not wanting to lose a relationship or a situation because there is this sense of safety and security, right? There's security, there's, or I should say, let me rephrase that. There is the illusion of security. Sure, somebody might be, you know, somebody might be paying the bills, somebody might be doing that. That is still the illusion of safety and security because sometimes you're just with these people for the sake of being with these people. And you think you love somebody but you don't really love them, you're attached to them, you're attached to them because they do a lot for you. You're attached to them because you might not have had that level of security when you were a child. You're still attaching something to a permanent situation and it is not permanent. And that's why I say, if you have a struggle with this, this is ACT, go back to, I don't know how many episodes I go because I'm ahead now, I think maybe four or five episodes now, go back to the Accountability and Commitment Therapy podcast, go back to that podcast, listen to it, go back to radical acceptance, go back to die-electrical behavioral treatments, go back to all of those podcasts, they were all gonna tell you the same. You could listen to me, you could listen to 85 other thought leaders and 80 other thousand public speakers, we are going to tell you the same thing in a different package. There are only so many ways to heal yourself. There's only so many ways for acceptance. There's only so many ways of doing something. So yeah, a bunch of us say it in different ways. I'm more aggressive, I'm more assertive in it. You might understand it more for me than somebody else or vice versa and that's okay. But at the end of the day, you gotta stop chasing this idea that you're gonna just be happy forever but the reality is is technically you can be as happy for as long as you're on the planet but that means adaptability. That means mental flexibility. That means not trying to control the narrative. That means accepting a relationship for how it is and if in fact tomorrow that relationship is something that you see is not gonna benefit you as sad as it is, how much do you wanna invest in that? How much time do you wanna invest in trying to hope that something is permanent when it can't be permanent in the first place? It's like perfectionism, it doesn't exist. So you're trying to create something perfect, fake and you're trying to create something that's gonna be forever and ever and ever. You can't do that 'cause now you put all these expectations on it, everything that you do is on an eggshell. You're like, oh my God, are they mad at me? Well, if they're mad at me, are they gonna leave me? Maybe, maybe they are gonna leave you, maybe they're not but where are you today? And then you can start to see red flags. You're not living in this rose colored idea of like, hmm, I'll just pretend that this is different. Imperminence is a for real thing. And the acceptance of that is going to be life-changing for you. I know, it is so scary to think everybody is temporary. I got it. But just 'cause it's scary and just 'cause you don't like it just 'cause the unknown is scary does not mean it doesn't exist and it does not mean that it will not always exist. So the relationships, the attachments that you have to people before they pass, right? Let's say your grandfather isn't just about grandfather. It's about what he represented. He provided you in this fake scenario. He provided you peace when the family would argue or he would take you somewhere and he validated you and you were able to talk to him about your relationships and he helped you out of a financial bind and he was this great guy. You are attached to the idea of what that person represented, but the reality is, is it was always temporary. Your job that you're so stressed about right now, temporary. And when you can see it that way and you're not attaching so much validity and happiness to something that is not, it's just not static. It's just gonna keep moving. To you, it's scary, it's adaptable. Think about how relaxing that is. Not having to feel like, oh my God, I gotta keep this. I gotta keep this. I gotta keep this. You keep chasing something to kind of maintain that. Are you kidding me? Think about how freeing that is. You have control over this. You have control over what you're willing to accept and if you don't accept it, it's gonna go away. So I want you to think on that. I really do. If you're on my YouTube right now, you didn't see me. You saw a big orange tiger cross that would happen to be my kitty cat who's wiggling his tail right now. So if you're on YouTube, you just saw that. But I really want you to get comfortable with that. And like I said, we're gonna hop over to the Patreon and over there, it's gonna have a worksheet. But I understand it's a bitter pill and but it gives you, when you are resistant to this, I promise you, it is a good thing because there's acceptance. There is freedom to know that you don't have to please this person. There is freedom to know that you get to do what you wanna do. There is freedom in it. It seems sad, but it's only sad if you've attached the idea to that outcome. Stay in here now. Appreciate the relationships and the situations you have now. Just be there. Your life changes. So that's your homework. Ask yourself why you are struggling to accept it and ask yourself, can you accept it? Because whether you do or not, it's still not gonna be permanent. I know, but it's true. So for right now, stay in this present space. Still plan for the future, still set goals, but stay in today. That's how we appreciate the baby steps. Don't look at all these big bites you have to take off. The nibble that you just took, stay there, enjoy the flavor, enjoy the taste. Appreciate those little steps because that's all you got today. That's all you'll ever have is right now. So know that going into it because that feeling that you just had, this temporary. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) You [BLANK_AUDIO]
