The Jordan Syatt Podcast

Part 2: All The Advice I Wish I Could Give My Younger Self...

In the final part of this two-part series, I shoot the breeze with my podcast producer, Tony and outline all the advice I wish I could tell my younger self.

Listen to Part 1 on Apple Here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/all-the-advice-i-wish-i-could-give-my-younger-self/id1348856817?i=1000667970318

Listen to Part 1 on Spotify Here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4vF2yZa7G0INmVACUlkozH

Do you have any questions you want us to discuss on the podcast? Give Tony a follow and shoot him a DM on Instagram HERE: https://www.instagram.com/tone_reverie/

I hope you enjoy this episode and, if you do, please leave a review on iTunes (huge thank you to everyone who has written one so far).

Finally, if you've been thinking about joining The Inner Circle but haven't yet... we have hundreds of home and bodyweight workouts for you and you can get them all HERE: https://www.sfinnercircle.com/

Duration:: 57m
Broadcast on:: 15 Sep 2024
Audio Format:: mp3

(upbeat music) - What's up Antonio? - What up, what's the S? - Oh, I love when I was dead, it's me, I'm all right. - So, what's up, man? You got family in town? - You there? Can you hear me? Can you hear me? - I can hear you. - Oh, okay, cool. I'll just check, 'cause I said my love, and I didn't even, I didn't get a response to that. - Oh, I thought it was just like a sweet thing to say. - Yeah, it was like, I'd like a sweet response. (laughing) Habibi. - There we go, there we go. (laughing) What's up, what's your Spanish word of the day? - Chavity. - Chavity, okay, what's that? - You're so good at this. (laughing) - Makes me think of the gas station, chavron, chad. - Oh, that's the way to remember it, yeah. - Chavity. So, like, I could chavity, it's like saying, Sababa. - Oh, cool, like cool. - Yeah. - Nice. - But again, this is like regional, right? Like, I know in Peru, they say that, but I don't know how widespread that is. And I think people might understand it. Like, in Mexico, they'll understand what you're saying, but they would never use that slang. - They would say something. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It would just be out of context. They'd be like, all right, like, I know what you're saying, but it's sort of weird to say that type of thing. - They'd be like, oh, yeah, like on the soap operas from that country, like, we don't know the usage, but we don't, yeah. So, I don't know how global that is now, yeah. - Okay. - But it's a good one. - So, like, would you just say, like, in response, like, chavity, like, that's what you say? - Cool, cool, cool. - Yeah. - Okay, okay, nice. - I like get chavity, which is like, oh, how cool. - Mm, okay. All right, I like that. Chavity, all right, chavity. Did I tell you what Khabibi is? Or do you just know that? - No, that's just something that I picked up along the way. But that's- - I'll use that. Yeah, yeah, you're right. It is Arabic. That's exactly right. You know, so I can't use this my Hebrew word of the day. They use it in Hebrew slang all the time. - I think that counts, then. If it's part of the lexicon, right? - Yeah, yeah, good point. Okay, cool. So, with Khabibi, it's like, it could be used as, like, cutie or, like, my love, or it's someone you care about, like, Khabibi, like, sweetie, cutie, lovey, whatever. But it's used in many different contexts. Like, like, I could say it to you as a friend. Like, oh, come on, Khabibi. Like, like, I could do it in that sense. I could do it in the context of, like, calling it to my daughter, Khabibi, like, you can use it in many different contexts. There's a lot of ways to use it. But I love that word. I really, somebody said that. I was like, oh man, did I use that one already? - It's fun to say. It's fun to say. - I was just out with my wife and something happened. And she was like, are you gonna tell the story in your podcast with Tony? 'Cause we do this walk every morning and then we come out here and do this podcast. And I was like, do you want me to? And she laughed. She was like, you could tell the story. So, I'll tell a quick, funny story about my wife. - All right, let's hear it. So, when, and I'll give some backstory before we get to this morning, but some backstory is my wife hates bugs. Like, she hates bugs. And we, if you're a bug hater, living in Texas is a really bad place to live. 'Cause not only are there a lot of bugs, but they're huge. They're massive bugs. - Don't the roaches fly down there? That's what I heard. - That's a good question. I haven't seen any flying roaches. Watch me now, just see them everywhere. I mean, I've seen some gargantuan roaches. I've seen some gargantuan spiders. I haven't seen any flying roaches that I'm aware of. But, when we went on our honeymoon, we went to Greece for the honeymoon. Best, probably the best place I've ever been, Santorini, like the best place I've ever been in my, have you ever been there? - No, it's definitely on the list of places I would love to visit some day. - Best place I've ever been in my life. It's like, without question. I've been blessed to go to many places. Santorini, best place I've ever been. And we're on our honeymoon, and we're like in this villa overlooking the ocean, and it's beautiful and serene, and it's quiet, dude. It's so quiet. You could hear something from across the island. It's super quiet. And then you have me, this East Coast dude, who's like, "Hey, what's going on?" Like, everyone can hear me. And then, every morning we would have breakfast outside on this little outlook overlooking the ocean. And there would be these flies that would occasionally come by. And my wife, she's fine with the flies in the area, but as soon as she hears it in her ear, she freaks out. It's just the wings in the ear. She absolutely hates it. It literally, every time we'd be sitting down in this quiet, peaceful serene. And then all of a sudden, she would just like jump up and run away from the table. And it's just us there. It's no one else, but like, people could hear you. You could hear things across, it's crazy how it's how it's how it travels. Yes, yep, yep, scream. Yeah, yeah, yes, scream, push away from the table. And I'm just sitting there, eating my eggs and fruit and da-da-da. And eventually, I was like, all right, Nini, I haven't said anything before this, but you know, we just got married. Like, you need to learn how to control this because God willing, when we have children, they're gonna see how you react to bugs. And if you don't want them to react the way that you react, then you need to get this under control. And she was like, oh, it's a really good point. Like I didn't think about that. And still, she was just freaking out. And so she was like, okay, I'm gonna work on it. I'm gonna work on it. One time it happens and I'm holding her hand. And I can feel that she's like, you know, tense, like rigor mortis, just like she doesn't, she like wants to jump up. And I'm holding her hand. I'm like, just stay here, just sit down and stay calm. Gotta get used to it. You know, exposure therapy, just like, it's okay. It's just a, it's not even a wasp or a bee. It's just, it's a fly. And finally, she's like, I can't do it. I can't do it. And she tries to stand up and I'm like holding her hand. And she starts screaming, let me live. Let me live, like just so dramatic. So that's the backstory of this. And she's gotten way better. She's gotten way better over this. Especially since her daughter's been born. She's like, I really don't want her reacting this way to bugs. We're outta walk this morning. And there's some big hornets and big wasps and like big. So I get it. But I've tried to explain her. Like the worst thing you can do is have quick sudden movements and like running and I'm like, if you just stay calm. Slapping at 'em. Yeah, don't slap. Just keep walking. And we were walking. It was like 12 minutes ago, right before we hopped on this podcast. There's no text to do. I was like, hey, gonna be a couple minutes late. We're walking by and I see a huge hornet. And I'm praying she doesn't see it. I'm like, just, if I don't say anything, she won't see it. Let's just walk right through. And all of a sudden she's like, oh my God. And I was like, let's use this as practice. Just, let's just walk through. And she's like, okay, so she gets behind me and she calmly walks by. I was like, great, awesome. And then the parent shield of Jordy. (laughing) Apparently the bee must have like moved 'cause she heard the, and I just hear my wife scream or in the middle of this neighborhood, quiet morning. She has like a little, she's holding onto a bottle of water, a little bowl 'cause our dog, we need to give him water during the walk. So she just throws those across the street and screams. And she's seven and a half months pregnant. And so when she screamed and ran and threw, she also peed at the same time. All at once, it was just like a massive, I'm just losing it laughing. And then she was, and she's like, I'm sorry. I've been doing so much better. I've been doing so much better. But the bee came right up to me and I was like, it's okay. It's okay. You're going to tell the story on your podcast. It's like, do you want me to? She's like, you could tell the story. (laughing) It's funny. How long does it take her to like, like come back to normal? Is it like immediate and sent? Yeah. Immediate, yeah. She's gotten much better of it. As soon as the is gone, she's totally fine. But once she hears that, it's a real issue. So you know the feeling like if like a bug lands on your neck or something and you're just like, ah, and you like swatted away, it sounds like it's kind of like that, but just like cartoonish. Yes, yep. It's exactly. (laughing) That's exactly right. Yeah. So. I have Texas. Yeah. Yes, sir. You're coming down soon. The house is a, should be ready by like February March or so, is what we've been told. Yeah. Yeah. So the. The. Yeah. So we'll bring you down. We'll get the podcast video set up. I mean, I was talking to Mitch about, I'm gonna have to connect you and Mitch. Yeah. So we can figure out. Yeah, 'cause I'm sure he's gonna have some visual considerations, lighting and angles and shots and that kind of thing. Yeah. So we'll get you both connected. And I'm really excited for the in-person podcast. Like that's, in terms of content, it's what I'm looking forward to most in the next year or two. So let me ask you this. 'Cause like right now you've been doing your inner circle podcast, where you talk to inner circle members, you've been doing podcasts with me, which go between like Q and A's and like topics that we pick. And then you'll have Susan on and then you'll have a guests, right? I also do a podcast with Mike. With Mike, for the right mentorship, yeah. So when you do in-person, do you feel like that's gonna be mostly for guests? Or-- Yes, yeah. And is that gonna become a bigger part of the rotation, you think? Or is it just gonna be like, when we do this, it'll be nice that I have this? No, so I think I'm thinking once or twice a week at most, at most for that, it's gonna be a big production, right? So I'm gonna need Mitch there and maybe even one other person when it actually happens. But I think that one of the reasons I'm really excited about it is because it doesn't just need to be fitness in my mind. And like right now, my podcasts aren't just fitness already, but like, I'm in a very fortunate position where I think, and we'll see, I might be totally wrong, I want people to fly out to me and we'll do the podcasting person, where I might be able to like reach out to some really incredible people across all walks of life and have conversations outside of fitness. And just in general, a really exciting platform for wonderful conversations from people from all walks of life. So once or twice a week, probably just once a week, and we'll still do this podcast and everything else, but I think these will also be housed not just on audio, but also YouTube as well, which would add a cool component to it. Yeah, yeah, that's awesome, man. But are we continuing today from what we were doing last week? We are. Okay, cool, and remind me. So you get into the DeLorean, go back in time to find yourself at different points of your life and tell yourself what you think you need to hear from future Jordan. Yep, yep. What did we do last week? We spoke about it. So we got you all the way through college. Okay, so we got through grade school, high school, college, you had some wise words that I think double as life advice for anybody at any age, honestly. But like the big thing we left off with was like you were really attached to Israel and you were in university and that disconnect was kind of grading on you. And it's not that you didn't like what you ended up doing with that time. It's more that you wish you would just like slow down a little bit and relaxed. Didn't feel so, I guess resentful about where you were at that time. Good recap, good recap. We'll put the link to that one in the show notes in case everyone didn't even miss that. And part of why I wanted to do these back to back is just so they'll be closer in the lineup. Yeah. So you get into your DeLorean, you leave the university and you zip off and you land sometime in your early professional career. And I'm thinking like early 20s, like really starting out out of school, making a living doing training. Is there a time in particular that you would zero in on there? Yeah. Right after I graduated college, I had my online business, but it wasn't enough to, it was below the poverty line, right? It was not enough to really support yourself. So I graduated, I actually moved back in with my mom to save money, which like what a blessing to have that opportunity. And she was living four minutes driving from an extraordinary strength and conditioning facility that I secured a position at. So then I started working at this gym and I'm not gonna say the name of the gym. It didn't end on the greatest of terms. I'm not like the biggest fan of the facility in general, or at least not, I'll leave it at that. I'm not gonna name it. I met some amazing people there. There's a wonderful opportunity. I learned a lot, but it wasn't the greatest fit and there were some things happening that I was not, I wasn't okay with, but yeah, I'll say this. I'll say this, the highest paid personal trainer there, the highest paid, I was the lowest paid, the highest paid personal trainer at this gym. This is a very high, high level facility. $24,000 a year. That was the highest, that was the like top paid coach at this gym, $24,000 a year. So when I went there, I'll be honest, I got $20,000 a year, $20,000. So between that and then my online, I was able to, and also my mom didn't make me pay rent, which was a blessing, but, dude, oh my gosh. It's like, if you wanna talk about privilege, it's like one of the ultimate privileges. I was able to start saving money and all of that, but yeah, I was doing my online stuff and I was working full time at this gym. So I would work at this gym full time. I would usually get there at like 6 a.m. and then I would do my online stuff after that. So we'll take this timeframe, which is probably around, 22 or 23? Yeah, so that sounds like a really tough situation and probably shrouded with uncertainty, right? Like you don't know if the online stuff is gonna take off your ad a place that like looks good on paper, but just isn't really paying what you're worth. What do you, what do you struggle in with and what do you wanna tell yourself? So I'll start with, you know, at 22, 23? Yeah, I think that's exactly what I was. I had been in the industry 'cause I started training at 14 and I get in my first internship at 14. At this point in my life, my ego is huge. And I don't know if this is a guy thing or what like a 22, 23 year old guy or if this is a me thing. Like this just was me at that time or if this is a 22, 23 year old thing, I don't know what this is. Maybe it was just a me thing, but me personally at 22, 23, ego specifically pertaining to training knowledge and coaching is just astronomical. It's probably the peak of where I think I'm the greatest. That's where like I was at my peak of I am an unbelievable coach, which I was a good coach. I was a very good coach, but I still, I mean, listen, it's 10 years later now, 10, 11 years later and I'm still learning an astronomical amount. My ego has been chopped down and chopped down and chopped down and chopped down. I knew a fraction then of what I know now and now like I have way less of an ego. So it is interesting. That was like the peak of where I'm-- It's not encouraging, right? Yes, exactly. The reason I didn't say Don and Krueger is because I did know a lot at that point, to be fair. At 22, 23, I had a lot of experience with some of the world's best coaches, high level powerlifting, like I knew a lot, but it wasn't like I was a complete beginner by any means. I was a very good coach, but internally, mentally, emotionally, my ego was very high. It was too much. You weren't wise yet. You were knowledgeable and technical, but you weren't wise yet. Yeah, yeah. And it was just, it was putting myself on too much of a pedestal and very judgmental. And when I say judgmental, not judgmental of, it's funny, it wasn't judgmental of clients. It was judgmental of other coaches, very judgmental. And it's, man, I'm really glad that there was obviously social media then, but not the way they're social media now. The way they're social media now is we see all these coaches doing these stitched videos, like they take someone else who says something they disagree with, and they just tear them apart. And I'll occasionally do a video like that where, but I never attack the person I always discuss the ideas or what they're saying. I'm so glad that I didn't have access to social media now as we did, 'cause I see a lot of coaches burning bridges like you wouldn't believe it. And putting things out there that they're not gonna be happy that they have out there when they're a little bit older, a little bit wiser. I was fortunate that I didn't put anything out there that I regret. It was more difficult to put things out there then. Now it's very easy to make a video that you will regret and it's always gonna be there, even if you delay there. And if I had the ability then to make videos trashing other coaches, I would have done it, and I'm so glad that I didn't really have that ability. It doesn't look good, it's not productive in any way, shape, or form. And so yeah, I was very judgmental towards other coaches, towards other training methodologies. I think I've gone the complete other direction now where I'm, I hire a new coach every year. I wanna learn a new methodology. It's funny sort of the swings that I've gone through in life where I'm like, I'll be on one end, then I go to the complete other end. And then somewhere along the way, then I find the balance. It's like on the pendulum, I go complete one side, boom, swings to the other side, and then it sort of mellows out somewhere in the middle. And that just happens to me over and over and over and over again. So yeah, that was definitely the first thing that I think of when it comes to me working at this gym and at that time of my life, very big ego, unfortunately. - So how would you talk to yourself about that? - I remember I had a big chip on my shoulder because I was very young. I had a lot of experience coaching. I had trained at West Side Barbell. I trained at Cressy's fourth performance. I was making a name for myself in powerlifting. I was doing really well. I had lived abroad. I had experiences that many people hadn't experienced. And I had a big chip on my shoulder because I was 22, 23, and I knew I was good. But a lot of these older coaches were putting me down and they were saying like, you don't know what you're talking about. You're just a young kid. And I knew that it was only because of my age. It wasn't because of my knowledge. And so I knew that I was very good at what I was doing and maybe the ego was in response to that, right? They're in response to, hey, these coaches aren't taking me seriously. So basic psychology, they say, I can't do something. Well, I'm gonna do it even crazier than I'm gonna go even harder on it. And that's what I did. Like I went way harder on making content. I went way harder on trying to prove that I was very good, probably contributed to the rise of the ego. But also the growth of the business, right? Growth of the business and my own growth and improvement. So it's one of those things where I didn't, I don't like looking back how I, I don't like looking back the mindset that I was in in terms of the ego, but then I have to ask, well, would I have been able to make the progress that I've made without that, right? Without that chip on the shoulder, without that ego. You know, it's like, can you have one without the other? I don't know. So I don't regret it, but I definitely, if I hung out with me from 10, 11 years ago, I wouldn't like me back then. Like I wouldn't like hanging out with that kid who's very arrogant and as a big ego and thinks he knows more than he does. But it was, it was definitely at least in part in response to wanting to make a name for myself and to establish myself and help people in this industry. And I was being pushed away because of my age. And I get messages like this all the time from younger coaches now, what do I do when people don't trust me because of my age? And my response is like, it's funny thinking back to this because my response is like, listen, no matter what, no matter how good you are, if you're young, people will hold that against you. No matter what. So don't let that stop you from continuing to put out information. 'Cause like, 'cause one day just literally one day it's gonna stop. Like the year it's just gonna stop. It's not, you're just not gonna be young anymore. And one day it won't be a thing. And you'll be glad that you've still been putting out content and helping people. But just one day it will just, it won't be part of the conversation. There was one time where it was the last time someone said it to me. I didn't know it was the last time they were gonna say it to me. And I was no longer the young coach anymore. - And when the bartender asks you for your ID, you'll be like flatter. Like, "Oh, oh you." (laughing) - It is funny when people do that. It very rarely happens to me. Happens to my wife all the time. But for me, and when it does, I'm like, "What do you think I'm like working "for a company, trying to see if you're..." (laughing) But yeah, yeah, it's tough as a young coach. And now I mean, dude, the young coaches now have so much more knowledge. You have a young coach now who is really passionate. Oh my gosh, the access to the knowledge that they have available to them is astronomical compared to what I had to me. And what I had was astronomical compared to what the people who came before me had. So I mean, some of these young coaches, 19, 20, 20, 22, are actually phenomenal coaches. But they're young and people inherently hold it against them. - So would you say like, stay the course, don't let this get you down, but like maybe check your ego a little bit? - You know, it's funny. What I would say is, 'cause usually they come to me and they're angry about it. Very rarely does someone come to me sad about it. They're not saying like, "Oh, I'm just so sad." They're usually, they're angry 'cause they've got something to prove. Very much like I did. I've got like, "I'm good." And they don't know that I'm good. And they're shutting me out 'cause I'm young. And I say, "Use the anger." But like, use it. It's so often, especially nowadays in our culture, where we say like, don't demonize an emotion, especially when it's related to like sadness, but anger is often demonized. It's like, you shouldn't be like, don't do that. It's like, no, use that anger. Like you could use it for like, I use my anger as a young kid and a young kid. I mean, like my young 20s, I used it. And maybe it contributed to the ego, I don't know. And who knows? Maybe young 20s is when you should have an ego. Like if there's a time to have it, maybe you should have in your young 20s so you can learn, like you can get pushed off the pedestal, eat shit, realize you're not all that good, but use the anger to get yourself back up. I don't know, I'd say use the anger. And I think anger is one of the most motivational forms of emotions that you can have. I mean, I see it all the time. People break up, they get super angry. And they're like, I'm gonna fucking go in the gym and I'm gonna change my body. And I'm gonna get my nutrition order. Like, dude, I think anger is one of the most motivational emotions you can possibly have. So if it makes you angry, cool. Get fucking angry and do something about it. But do something like put it somewhere productive, yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. Don't trash people online. Don't make these stitch videos tearing people down. Just make really good content. Yeah, make better content. Yeah, I see, I really don't like these stitch videos. And there are some people, even people who I would consider friends of mine. And I would tell them this their face. And if they ask me, like, yeah, I don't like it. I don't like it. I really don't like so much of this content using other people's content to tear them down. I mean, these call out videos, I don't like it. From an ecosystem perspective, it totally makes sense though. It's like so hard to generate original good content over and over and over again. Like when I think about just how much stuff you put out, just consistently it's mind boggling. So I really respect it. But I understand why there's like entire genres of like, I'm gonna comp like YouTube's of people commenting on other YouTube's, you know? It's like, like it makes sense. It's like, oh, you know what's easier than me coming up with a whole video? And I'm not knocking this. I'm just saying it's, it makes sense that people do this. You know what's easier? I can comment on someone else's video. It is much easier. Yeah, and so like in a world where content is disposable and you have to keep putting stuff out over and over and over again. Like I get why it's moved that direction. But I, yeah, I agree like tearing people down is never as, never feels good, you know? Yeah, no, I agree. So before we move on to that point, is there anything in your personal life that you want to address to, to arrogant, but, but capable of Jordan? Oh man, at first, I mean, did I say something to you that I like told everyone I want to address? I was like, I don't, I don't think so. Jordan, is there something you wanted to, no, I mean, I think, here's what I think. I don't regret it because I don't know if it would be possible for me to be where I am today without it. What I do think is, just what we were talking about, whatever you put on the internet lives on the internet forever, whether or not you delete it. And this world is a very small world. This is advice my mom gave me when I was very young. It's a very small world. You don't know who you're going to meet again. I think we might have even actually spoke about this last week. We did? You tear someone down on social media? (buzzer) You don't know what relationship you're ruining. I know many people who have ruined relationships who, that's prevented them from getting jobs, who's prevented that from getting big clients, that's prevented them from major, like, it's better. If you don't like what someone says, just don't use their video and make your own piece of content around that specific topic with no mention of that person. Burning bridges, when you're young, it's hard to understand how much that's going to impact you. It's one of the, like, listen, being young doesn't mean you can't be good, you can't be talented, but being young doesn't inherently mean you have less experience in life, and you don't see as many patterns, right? So, for example, when I was a young business owner, for example, when I say young, I don't even mean young from my age. I mean, within the first few years of my business, I hadn't had, my business was young. I didn't realize there were trends annually. I didn't realize, like, oh, okay, so this time of year, business will be slow. This time of year, business will pick up. It took me going through it four to five years in a row before I was like, oh, here's a pattern that I see year over year over year, and so now my business is five, six years old, now I know what to expect and how to prepare for it. The younger you are, the less pattern, you don't have the same pattern recognition. You haven't been through it enough times. I've seen enough people burn bridges over and over and over again, so I'm like, nope, it's, if I can avoid it, I'm not burning a bridge, because you have no clue how it's going to come back to bite you in the ass. And I've never seen it work well. I've never seen, I've never seen it work well. So if you're arrogant, if you have a high ego, if you think they're the greatest, cool, that's fine. Don't burn bridges. Don't do it. - So you hop back in to the DeLorean, your favorite car of all time, and you zoom forward. And so I kind of had, in my mind, and the biography of you that I have put together is post-college, you were like powerlifting, coach, powerlifting, trained, you were still training in powerlifting, right? Or was that all in college? - No, no, I was in and out of college. It was until I was, my last powerlifting competition was, I was 25. - Yeah, so I thought that that might be a good little bullet point to go to. Maybe you go to yourself at one of your biggest meets. And, you know, the pressure's high, you've been training, you've been preparing. Is there any advice you would give yourself? - You know, it's funny, my biggest meet was my last meet. It was the one I did lifted four times my body weight. I had done many, many meets, had competed in many different organizations. The most pressure I ever felt for me was my first meet. The first one I ever did. And each subsequent meet, it got less and less and less. The last meet that I ever did, it was the culmination of my career. I did lift it four times my body weight. Dude, I was so calm and relaxed. I was just like, I don't care. I was like, there was no pressure at that point. It's fine, I got a little nervous right before the final pull, right before the final deadlift. But it was, it's funny, the more you do something, the more calm you get, the less of a stressor it becomes. My first powerful meet, when there's literally nothing on the line, in my mind, everything was on the line. There was nothing on the line. No one knew who I was. I was in college. I was like 127 pounds. There was no pressure. It was all self-imposed. By the time I was about to pull four times my body weight, I had started to build up an audience. I had literally made an entire article series on my website, the road to a four times body weight deadlift, where I was giving updates on my training, and people were following me for it. But I was so calm. Had you pulled that in training? No. So I had pulled, I did, I should say did, but not from the floor. I had pulled it from an elevation. So from a two inch elevation, I had pulled it, and I pulled it easy, and I was like, okay. But it was, you know, it was crazy. When I pulled four times from the elevation, and it actually happened when I did the pull from the floor, dude, I felt like I almost tore my pec. Like, I had never felt that before deadlifting. Like, your pecs aren't really involved, but you get, there's so much, everything involved at that point, tension, everything, your arm is straight, locked out, it's pulling. That was the scariest part. It wasn't hamstrings, it wasn't quads, it wasn't glutes, it wasn't back. My pec, both times. Like, I feel like if I held onto it for a little bit longer, my pec would have torn right off the bone. Yeah, so it's funny. I think I wouldn't, me pulling four times body weight at my final competition, I would actually go to my first competition where I was pulling, I don't know, 2.7 times body weight, 2.6 times body weight, and no one knew who I was, and I was so nervous. I was so nervous, and I was like super competitive with the other people, and that was the only competition I didn't get gold. That was the first competition I did. I got second place. Every other competition I got gold, I got first place. And I think, you know, it makes sense, I was the least experienced, I was the most nervous. And I think the advice would be, number one, for someone who's not sure if they even wanna compete, would be like, listen, when you compete, you don't have to compete to beat other people, you can compete just to compete with yourself, even if there's other people competing. It's one of the reasons I love powerlifting. If I hit all personal records at a powerful competition, but I lost the competition, still a great day, I won. I hit all personal records. If I win the competition, but I don't hit any personal records, it's a terrible day. I know people who are like, oh, I don't know if I wanna run this 5K, it's like, it's a fuck, just go run and try and beat your own time. It doesn't matter what place you come in with other people. Even when we're running the 5K or doing the apparel team competition, I am so adamant that training for competition, regardless of whether or not you really want to do well, or relative to other people, it's one of the best things you can do for your health, for your performance, for your motivation, you sign up for a competition, you're gonna be training, you're training, you wanna do better. If you are struggling with motivation, sign up for a competition. I don't care how an experience works, just do it, you'll learn, you'll have fun, you'll meet new people, but then the advice I would give myself my first competition is like, you are literally doing what you love most in this world, which is lifting weights, you're out here, you're lifting weights, and you're lifting as heavy as you possibly can. Go have fun, it doesn't matter where you place, it doesn't matter if you completely fail, you miss lifting, no one cares, no one cares. You all paid money to compete in this competition for a plastic trophy, it's like, stop it, go have fun. You're literally doing what you love most in this world, go do it and enjoy it. That would probably be the advice I gave myself back then. - That's cool, I was actually wondering if maybe you were gonna go the other direction and talk about what happens right after you pull that four times body weight deadlift and that's your last powerlifting competition. 'Cause I think there's an interesting transformation that happens there, right? - Yeah, I went into a state like I was chasing that goal for like 10 years, trying to get four times my body weight, I finally get it. There's a little round of applause. (laughs) And the announcement was like, that was four times body weight, that was good. But that was the, I think that was the first time that I really experienced, oh, it's the journey. It's not the result. I think that was the first time in my life where I really understood, oh, the actual act of doing it is not nearly as fun as the process of trying to achieve it. Because once I put it down, it was almost like a depressive state, like, I will say there was a lot of relief when I put it down initially because it was like, it wasn't even like, it wasn't, I know some people they power lift or whatever, they're like, yeah! I'm not a screamer, I'm not, I'm very, I'm a calm lifter, I'm relaxed, I enjoy it, I'm not getting angry, I don't have these demons I'm trying to fight out when I'm lifting, I just enjoy it. - You don't do like the smelling salts. - I don't do the smelling salts, I don't smack myself, I'm not scream, I'm just like, yeah, it's funny. When I was coaching my Palestinian college, I learned this after my first competition when I was so nervous, but one thing I started doing, I required every lifter on the team to tell a joke before they went out and lifted a Wonder at Max. They had to tell a joke, I wanted them to be calm, I wanted them to be relaxed, 'cause when you really freak out, oftentimes your technique will get messed up, you get two in your head, I was like, you have to tell a joke before you step on the platform. So yeah, so I had spent so many years trying to get this, I finally put the bar down, I felt relieved 'cause I was like, okay, I don't need to do this anymore, I did it, it's good, but soon after I was like, I was lost, I was like, what do I do now? And I wasn't passionate about it anymore. At that point in my life, I wasn't passionate about deadlifting, but I wasn't passionate about getting the 5.2 times body eight, or I'm sorry, 4.2 times body deadlifts, or five times body, I was like, no, I'm done, I did it, that's what I want. So there was a significant period of time where I felt very, for the first time in my life, I felt lost with my training. What do I do? Like, I didn't want to power lift anymore, but I had spent so long power lifting and building my career around it, that I was like, if I stop powerlifting now, then people are going to stop following me, I'm not going to ruin my business. I had created this idea in my mind that powerlifting was the right way to train. So if I'm not powerlifting anymore, then I must be doing the wrong way of training. It was a very, there was a lot of cognitive dissonance, a lot of depression and unsure-edness. If that's a word, I just didn't know what to do. I felt very lost. Yeah, so knowing what you know now, if you could go back to that time, is there anything you think you could say that would help? What I ended up doing is I ended up using it, 'cause dude, I was training a lot and I didn't miss a workout for years. Over five years, I'm going to miss a single workout. I had trouble with relationships because of it. I wasn't able to focus as much on my business or my clients because of it. And so what I ended up doing is I ended up, I still worked out, but that's actually when I hired my first coach. I hired Mike Perry from Skill of Strength in Massachusetts. You know, you know, Mike Perry. Yeah, yeah. I hired Mike. He started writing my programs. I wanted to do some MMA style programming and he's one of the best in the world at it. And so he started writing my programming, but my workouts were a few times a week for like 45 minutes. And I spent all my other time and energy on my business and my clients. I went full on business clients. Like let me give my clients the best possible they could ever get. Let me start making amazing content on a very, very, very consistent basis. And I was already doing it, but like even more. And so I was able to take on a greater amount of responsibility with my business because I had more time and energy that was focused on them as opposed to me and my personal goals. So there's nothing that I would take away from it. I did have some cognitive dissonance and like, oh my God, am I doing the right thing? Feeling guilty about not being in the gym as much, not lifting as heavy, not competing. So maybe go back and be like, hey, it's okay to feel that way. It's okay to feel guilty. Just know that you're doing the right thing. Like this is, you will look back one day and be very grateful that you're doing this, that you're taking this time right now and that you're not focusing on palleting anymore, that you're focusing more on your clients and your business. You'll be very glad that you're doing this right now, but it's okay to feel that way. I think it's another, it's an important thing I'm thinking about as a dad too, not saying you shouldn't feel that way. You know, it's like telling someone they shouldn't feel that way yourself or anyone else. It doesn't help, it actually just makes it worse. You can feel that way, it's okay. Just know X, Y, and Z, but it's okay to feel that way. Is probably how I would approach it. - The feeling is a natural reaction. It's what you do with the feeling. - Yeah. - And what you do next. It's the second thought, not the first thought, right? - Yes, and yeah, it's a great way to put it. It's also, it's not a bad feeling. How do you react to it? What do you do? Exactly, what's the response? What's the second thought? How do we move forward? That's what I think is more important. - Yeah. So I'm noticing a theme, you know, across kind of every era where we've identified struggles you were going with and like challenges and also things that were going really well. But every time, you know, I ask like, what's the advice you give? You're very careful to say, I don't think I would wanna change a thing. I just think that's so fascinating. 'Cause I don't know. I feel like it's such a seductive thought, right? To be like, you could go back in time and change anything, like what would you do? And then who knows what happens after that? It's like butterfly effect, do you ever see that? - Yes, yes, yep. I think that's like obviously a very extreme depiction of that, but like who knows? Like what if you decided to do something completely different after powerlifting instead of that business? Like where would your life be? What would it be like? Like I think it's almost that we can't imagine anything different. - Dude, yeah. I mean, it's crazy how many choices we make on a daily basis that radically change our life trajectory. Every single day you're making choices that you don't even think about that are relatively, it might seem small, but they're radically changing your entire life. Maybe like I'll go there, maybe I'll go to this place instead. Like who knows, like every teeny tiny little choices, I'll say this instead of saying that, I'll have this food instead of that food, I'll order food from this place instead of that place. So whatever it is, it could change your life forever. And it's funny 'cause I think we can all probably relate to this where whether it's yourself or someone else, you know someone who's been through horrific traumatic experiences, I can't speak for everyone, but I know many people who've said I wouldn't change it. Like I wouldn't change it because it's made me who I am today, right? And where I think if we can take that mindset and bring it to our day-to-day struggles presently and say I'm going through something really difficult right now, but this is gonna make me someone better in the future, it might help you get through the moment a little bit more easily as opposed to, 'cause when you go through something horrific, if you've been through something horrific and you can honestly look back and say, no, I wouldn't change it, then that means like anytime you're going through something difficult, you can always look back to that now. Obviously I'm sure there are many people who've been through something traumatic, oh no, I would change that. I would prefer not to go through that. Great, that's fantastic. I very much understand that. I'm just speaking from the side of, I know many people who have been through traumatic things and they wouldn't change it, which is an important thing to keep in mind, so. So let's go more current. Is there anything you would tell yourself before you became a father? Any advice you would give yourself two years ago? You know, it's cool. I'm actually, my wife and I filmed a YouTube video before my daughter was born, but like what we thought it was gonna be like, and so I'm glad we did that. I think we're gonna do another one before. Nice. When the next one is born, what would I tell myself then? Did you just say, what'd you just say, Biz? - Bizratashem. - Bizratashem. - Bizratashem. - Bizratashem. - Bizratashem. - Bizratashem. - Is that like inshallah, like God willing? - God willing. - God willing, exactly. Exactly, yeah. With the help of God, God, it's exactly right, yeah. - Bizratashem. - Cool. - Yeah. - All right. To be very honest, like, I'll say this, we were so prepared for my daughter. Like we really, we're very blessed in so many ways, but we waited until we were ready as a couple. We were rated until we were ready from a financial perspective. We waited until we were ready. And every, like we were ready, we were ready for it. And my wife is unbelievably prepared and she does a lot of research. And like she's just incredible. Dude, there's literally, this probably isn't gonna be a good answer, but it's the truth for me. There's nothing that I would be like, hey, you should have been more aware of this or more aware of that. Now, here's what I'll say. She's almost two. So, by the time she gets to six, eight, 12, there'll be a lot of shit. Oh man, I wish I knew this. I'm sure. - Yeah. - As of right now, dude, she's just smiling and happy and she's adorable and she's starting to test us. She's starting like, she'll look right at me and do something she knows she's not supposed. Like, I'll be like, hey, don't do that. Like, for example, like a, oh, you can hear her right now. (laughing) - That's how you're talking about her. - It's so funny. At that one moment, that's actually hilarious. She'll be sitting in her high chair and will be eating. And she knows she's not supposed to throw food off her high chair. She will pick up food and she will look me directly in the eye and just whoop. And then I'll look at her and I'll be like, hey, we don't throw our food. And then when there's no more food on her plate, she will look me in the eye and pretend to throw food. She'll be looking at it and pretend like, oh, oh. And it's so tough because part of me wants to laugh, but the other part of me knows I can't because if I laugh, exactly. So she's starting to test, but it's just, it's joy. It's just pure joy right now. And people say, oh, you have a bundle of joy. It's like, yeah, that's literally what we have. She's not even too yet. I'm sure as she gets older, I'll have a very different response to what should you have known before you had kids. But yeah, I mean, I think we've been very blessed and we waited for the right time. And obviously, finances can change and things can go downhill in many different circumstances. So I just think we're at a point where it's we were ready and there hasn't really been anything that's been a surprise to thank God. There hasn't been any health issues or scares or, yeah. I mean, there were even little things. Like she got Empetigo once, which is a skin issue. You know what I do? I get really worried about her health. That's the one thing. I get like, I don't care. She spalls and scrapes her knee. Cool, fine. She, whatever, like anything like that. In terms of health scares, like she had Empetigo, which is, it's common, it happens. But I got really worried, especially, you know, being in Chugitsu and all that stuff, you see people get skin issues, people die from it. And so you just immediately go to like the worst case scenario. - There's your catastrophizing. - Exactly. So it, now it's not just for me anymore. Now it's for my wife and my daughter. And yeah, it's, that's, the old saying that I've heard a million times now is, once you have a child, your heart lives outside of your body. And so, I mean-- - That's good. - You could say that to someone before they have kids. You could have said that to me before I had a kid, but I wouldn't have. It's just words. It doesn't mean anything until you're actually holding your child. And it's crazy because I legitimately love her more every day. It's very, it's very weird. It sounds like a cliche saying, it's like, no, like, I actually, the more I get to know her, the more I love her, the more she's having, saying words and having conversations and being her own person, like, I love her more every day. It just grows. It's really, it's a wild experience. It's extraordinary. So, but I could have said all this to myself before and it wouldn't have meant to anything. It's like, oh, yeah, I'm really excited. Yep, she's not here yet. I'm excited about it, you know? Or it's like before my wife is even pregnant. Like, yeah, we would like to have kids, but it means nothing until they're there, at least in my experience. - Yeah, you can't understand it until you do it, right? - Yeah, so. - So, any advice for yourself before you got a dog? - Oh my God, oh my God, that's, yes, I wish I had help. - Oh, man, oh, dude, that could be a whole separate book. Man, you know what, like, people really put out, as though having a dog is easy, it's not easy. It gets easier the older they get from what I've learned. But dude, these first two years, I mean, you just turned five months the other day. He's getting better, he's getting better. But it's an unbelievable amount of work. He's more difficult than my daughter. And the first five, and he also had a gut issue, so like, he was having a lot of diarrhea. - Yeah. - And so, oh, and then he was nipping and he still nips a little bit, but he's getting a lot better. All this teeth, he looks like an old man. He has no teeth, they all fell out, they're all like growing back in now. Be ready to clean up a lot of poop. When we decided we wanted to get a dog, we waited a long time to get this dog. I waited until I could really dedicate time to training him. I didn't wanna have a dog that, number one that I didn't pay attention to, I wanted to make sure he was getting at least one, if not a couple walks per day, every day, plenty of time outside, plenty of loving time, plenty of time to actually pay attention to him, and plenty of time to train him. I want him to have good recall when I say drop it on him and drop it, that's something that could save his life, whereas he could pick something up that he shouldn't be eating, and then I say drop it, he drops it, not just because I want him to do it, but because he could be having something dangerous. When I say, hey, come here, I want him to come immediately, when I say sit and stay, you stay, not just because it's helpful and nice when people come over the house, so he's not jumping all over them, but also it could save his life. And so I waited until I could really dedicate that time. Dude, it's a lot of times, it can be frustrating. And I would imagine it's like the inverses of having a child, at least in my experience, I know some people, they have really difficult times with their children, colleague, health issues, whatever, but in my experience with my child, it's just been relatively easy. She's been so easy to deal with, which God might punish me with my next one, we'll see. - I think we talked about this, right? Like, I heard someone call that a sucker baby once. - Yeah, a sucker you're gonna have in the next one, yeah. - Or maybe you told me that actually. - I think I told you that, yeah, yeah, 'cause we'll see, but it might be the inverse where she gets more difficult as she gets older, you know, getting a middle school, kids get to be wild. - It's a weird time. - It's a weird time, man. But, and apparently, dogs get easier, so it's like, well, it's relatively easy for her, it's very difficult for him. It's just like cleaning up a lot of poop, a lot of random vet visits. You know, it's like having a kid that bites and poops everywhere, and he's adorable and he's fun, and we love him. My wife, like, she loves him so much, it's crazy. She, like, her heart explodes for this dog. It's obviously not the same as having a kid. Tom's, all right, I'm gonna say something, and people are probably gonna be upset. It's a line from standup comedy, if you're easily offended, turn the podcast off, I appreciate you listening. It's a line from Tom Segura's comedy. He's one of my favorite comedian. You know Tom Segura? - Yeah, I still haven't seen that special that everyone's told to watch. - Dude, you have to watch. I can't believe, all right, thanks for the reminder. - He's, he is one of the greatest lines about dog love and kid love, and it's, it resonates so hard with me right now, I can't even begin to tell you. He's like, listen, I love my dog. He's like, I love my dog. It's not the same as having a kid. He's like, and I will explain. He's like, if my dog bit my kid, I would drown my dog. He's like, he's like, that's it. It's like, if you have a kid, you have a dog. It's like, if your dog hurts your kid, that dog's it. That's, that's it. Which obviously is a very graphic image, whatever. But it really, - No animals were harmed in the recording of this podcast. - It's just, it's different. But we love him in an insane amount. And we dedicate a lot of time to him. But it's, all these social media videos of dogs just being, it's just all fun. Nope, it's a lot of work. - I mean, that's the highlight reel in general, right? - Yeah, it's, you don't have a dog, do you? - No, no. - Yeah. - We're at Petless currently, but we're getting kittens. So that'll be a couple of weeks. - Yeah. - That's awesome. - Yeah. I'm like, I don't know, like, I'm, I'm really excited for it. I love cats, kittens are adorable. - Kittens are adorable. - Yeah. - I do think that lifestyle-wise, they're, it's a lower impact pet, you know. - Yes, for sure. - You gotta make sure they're fed, you gotta spend time with them. But they hang out, you know, they're just chilling. But I am savoring, like this is like the living room right now, it's really nice. Like when we keep it clean, then it stays clean, you know? It's like, if it's messy, we leave it messy. But it's like, this is when we don't have to worry about any of that. So I'm just kind of like- - Savory. - Enjoying that feeling. - Bro, you should talk to Mitch. Mitch, he's, he fosters cats. He's got like five cats. Dude, he's a cat expert. - So I'm looking for the Caesar Milan of cats. - Cats. - Mitch, he the cat whisperer. - He is the cat whisperer, yeah, 100%. He's, he's unbelievably passionate about it. It's funny, a lot of the people I work with are cat people. Mitch is the biggest cat person I've ever met. Susan has several cats. She's had cats for whole life. You are good in cats, but Mitch is like legitimately a cat expert when Susan has had questions about her cats 'cause she's adopted cats, like she goes to Mitch. Mitch is a genius with cats. You should absolutely talk to him. - Wow, yeah, yeah, connect us, please. - Yeah, yeah, let's connect you to via text. - Nice, man. Well, any final thoughts on this time travel inspired series? - No, this was great, man. I really enjoyed it. I hope everyone listening enjoyed it. I keep forgetting to say this at the beginning of the podcast, but please leave a five star review. Written reviews are incredibly helpful. If you've been listening and you've been enjoying, it's been bringing joy into your life. Help into your life. Please, please, please leave a five star review. It helps me, it helps my wife, helps my daughter, it helps our family. It helps support us. So, thank you, thank you, thank you. I appreciate you. Have a wonderful week and I'll talk to you soon. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) [ Silence ]

In the final part of this two-part series, I shoot the breeze with my podcast producer, Tony and outline all the advice I wish I could tell my younger self.

Listen to Part 1 on Apple Here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/all-the-advice-i-wish-i-could-give-my-younger-self/id1348856817?i=1000667970318

Listen to Part 1 on Spotify Here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4vF2yZa7G0INmVACUlkozH

Do you have any questions you want us to discuss on the podcast? Give Tony a follow and shoot him a DM on Instagram HERE: https://www.instagram.com/tone_reverie/

I hope you enjoy this episode and, if you do, please leave a review on iTunes (huge thank you to everyone who has written one so far).