Today, September 16, is Mexican Independence Day as well as the Trail of Tears Commemoration Day. To honor and observe both cultural stories, we are revisiting this "From the Vault" episode of Big Blend Radio from 2016 that features Cynthia M. Ruiz, an award-winning inspirational speaker, leadership expert, commissioner, professor, and author of “Cherokee Wisdom: 12 Lessons for Becoming a Powerful Leader”.
Cynthia is proud to come from blended cultures and feels she takes the best from both worlds, Latina and Native American. She has been known to say “I get my passion for life from my Mexican side and my spirituality and respect for the environment from my Cherokee roots.” More: https://cynthiamruiz.com/
Big Daily Blend
Cynthia M. Ruiz - Cherokee Wisdom
[ Music ] >> Well Cynthia M. Ruiz is an award-winning inspirational speaker. She's a leadership expert, a commissioner, a professor, and an author. And Hollywood Chamber named her a woman of distinction. >> Wow. >> Yeah. And she appeared in the movie and book. Discover the gift with the Dalai Lama, Michael Bernard Beckwith, and Jack Canfield. And she's received over 50 accolades and awards for her leadership in service to Los Angeles. And she currently serves as the LA City Commissioner overseeing the multi-billion dollar pension portfolio for city employees. >> Wow. >> I know, right? And she's the author of Finding Sane Relationships in a Crazy World, because I like that. That's necessary, and we're thrilled to have her join us on today's Champagne Sunday Show on Big blend radio to talk about her latest book that I've been reading. It's called Cherokee Wisdom, 12 Lessons to Become a Powerful Leader. Really a great book. It's inspirational. It gives you these negative wisdom for you to just take in, think about, and apply to your life. A really good book, and it's one of those. You'll read it, and then pick it up, and just go to a chapter that you need at that point. So I really love it. You can get it on Amazon.com, all those great stores. But of course, go to her website at CynthiaM Release dot com. Cynthia, welcome to the show. How are you? >> Hello from Los Angeles. How are you beautiful ladies doing? >> We're doing wonderful. I like to be called beautiful. We like that. >> She of course, right there. >> That's it. That's it. You're making me feel better about the patient part of your book. So we have to have patience, huh? >> Well, I really appreciate the opportunity to be on your champagne Sundays. I really enjoy the diversity, the beautiful song that you just played Maui Sunset. Oh, that was amazing. And then the previous guest, you know, I just really enjoy the diversity. And thank you for being that positive light in all this negativity. Because you turn on the news, there's so much negativity. So I just want to acknowledge you for that. And thank you for having a positive, diverse show. >> Well, thank you so much. We appreciate you and your work. And I think diversity is key, right? I think, you know, when we started Big Blend, people are like, oh, you must be targeted. You must only do this one thing. And our mind is, well, you know, if we take it to someone enjoys gardening, then they're going to enjoy birds. And if they enjoy birds, they may enjoy travel. They may take care of their parks and their cities. So it goes on and on and on. So like, even when you look at Cherokee wisdom, your book is connected between something personal and business. And then you've got your roots as well, which are diverse, which is a beautiful thing. So I think diversity is the important key to life, to be quite honest. >> Well, I couldn't agree more. And I'm actually half Mexican. My father was Mexican. And I say was because he has made his transition. And then my mom is Cherokee and we're registered members of the Cherokee Nation. So what I like to say is that I get my passion for life and my love for music and dance from my Latina side. But my native roots give me actually the love for Mother Earth and for nature and my spirituality. And I know you two are big environmentalists, so I see a good connection there. >> Absolutely. >> For sure. >> And you bring that in your book, too, which I was like, I love this. You know, and we've got more to talk about after this show, too, because there's an alignment in education. I think that's a big part, too, is educating our youth. And obviously, that education should never end, right? It's a lifelong thing that we do, just keep learning. But I know you do a lot of work with women, too, and young girls, too. >> So I am very involved with the organization called Girls Today Women Tomorrow. For me, I was the first person in my family to go to college, so it was very difficult. I had to find my own way. So now I'm at a point in my life where I turn around and help the next generation. You know, as Native Americans, what we're taught, the Cherokees, when leaders make decisions, we look at how it affected the past seven generations, but we also look forward to the next seven generations. So with leadership in decision-making, we look at holistically. How's it not just going to impact us today, but how's it going to impact the future? And today, it's so important that we're making good environmental decisions for the future generations. >> You know, we've seen a bit of this. We recently went to San Benito County, and we had a couple of ranch stays, and it was so refreshing to see ranches acknowledging things, practices done in the past, that they do see now the results weren't what they expected, and actually making a change, and willing to talk about it, and willing to look at, okay, what we did to the earth really didn't serve anything well, not anyone, and changing their practices and making that connection to the soil. We were just, we were like, wow, this is so cool, because sometimes you go into communities and our viewpoints don't really match, and we were really happy to feel that people are now acknowledging, okay, we made a mistake, or maybe our forefathers or, you know, whatever, previous owners made a mistake, but we can fix it, and we're going to fix it, and that's one thing. We came back with such a positive feeling from that, so, you know, I just think things can really change when people band together. >> Mm-hmm, right, and they band together and they get education like the big thing in Southern California, I mean, we're in a drought, and so many of my neighbors and myself, we all changed on our landscaping to be drought tolerant and make sure that it's native plants, so if you look at my lawn, I don't have any grass, I'm grass-free, I guess people can take that differently, right, I'm grass-free, and so, you know, hey, everybody, look at your ballot, no, right, so, but it's that, you know, we're Los Angeles, all our water is imported, so we each need to take responsibility for our lives and the impact on earth, and we can make so many small changes, but they all add up, and everybody doing their part can make a big difference. >> So, going back to your book with that, everybody banding together and doing their part, but there's always that catalyst, that leader, right, and when I was reading Cherokee, it wasn't to me, it was like, there's the, you have to be a leader of yourself first, it seems like, before you can start leading others, which, when you say there's that personal responsibility you have to have, and when you think about, like, the city of LA, and there's the city that you work with, and then there's the city, the people, the community, making these kinds of changes, there has to be a leader that people will actually follow in support, right, so there has to be a positive message that comes out to get people to even follow that leadership. >> And one of the, yes, absolutely, and the other thing in the book is that I stress that each and every one of us have the ability to be a powerful leader. We think that in order to be a leader, you have to be a politician or a CEO of a big corporation, but each and every one of us are leaders with their families, with their social network, with our, at work, and I share a story in the book that, leading by example, where I was actually at a fast food restaurant, I was getting a salad, I wasn't getting junk food, but there was a gentleman in front of me, I had to throw that in, there was a gentleman in front of me, and he was paying for his meal, and he came up short, so I just jumped into action, not even thinking about it, and I gave him a few dollars, so he could pay for his meal. What I didn't realize behind me online was a mother and daughter, the daughter saw what I did, so she asked her mother for some money, she went up, handed it to the man, and said, "Here, I hope this helps you so you can eat." And it was one of those moments that we all looked at each other, because I didn't even know that they were behind me, I wasn't paying attention, and I realized that everything you do in your life, somebody may be watching, and it's so important with the young people that we're good role models, that we act with integrity, and that we're leading by example because the kids in the youth are watching if we're aware of this or not. How do you keep that culture going when you're working in an organization with so many people where, you know, does part of leadership come in? How do you handle someone who may have taken that in a different way and decided, you know, to be rude about it, because there are those people out there that, you know, haven't learned those grades, or, you know, haven't had, they haven't read your book yet. Yeah, but, yeah, how do, how do you, as a leader, how would you address someone who would not follow that, that, you know, what the little girl did? Well, what I would do, if I have in a situation where somebody is acting out of integrity, first thing I would do is I would pull them aside because I don't want to embarrass anybody, nobody wants to be publicly humiliated, and talk to them and say, you know, do you think that that was the best way to handle a situation? Can you think of any other ways? So I developed what I call value-driven leadership, and when I make decisions from my core values, I'll never make a bad decision for me. Now, this doesn't mean that everybody's going to be happy with the decision. When I was the leader of a department of 5,000 people, somebody told me that 10% of the people are not going to be happy with your decision. So at first, I'm like, oh my god, 500 people are not going to be happy with it. But then what I had to do is step back and say, okay, if I'm making decisions with integrity and from my core values, at least I'm making decisions for the greater good, and I could sleep at night and be happy with those decisions. And then to be able to act that out, like when you have integrity, I think we talk about this a lot on the show. It's where ambassadors for a program called the AQs of Excellence, and the first key is integrity, because that's where it all comes from. It starts there, and you either have integrity or you don't. It's either way, and once you start to really acknowledge integrity, every time you go to do something, there is that question, are you doing this with integrity or not? And I think when our leaders or people in leadership positions and just people who are not in the leaders, I think we all are in a place of leadership because of our own lives and our community, our family. But when you start stepping into the non-integrity, then you earn a slippery slope, and that's when you start to not even understand who you are. And I think that's where the one part of your book you talk about strength, humility and confidence. There's those different attributes you talk about, but I think if you don't have the integrity, your confidence level will go down, and then that's when people start to act out in a negative way. Absolutely, and they start to become ego-driven. And there's an assumption that humility and confidence, or you can't have both, that if you're confident, you can't be humble. I believe that you can be humble and confident at the same time. There are two different qualities. For me, humility is respecting others. We all have our own individual journey, and I respect your journey. I don't have to force my ideas on to you. And then confidence is the ability to understand that you are whole and complete as you are, and have confidence in that, and live your own journey without having to push your values on anyone else. Actually, if you really think deeply, I would say that the more confidence you have, the more humble you're going to be. Because you're going to realize where all your attributes come from and your place in the world, and by that I don't mean second place or this or that. I mean where you fit into this big puzzle, and your confidence is how you handle stuff, so you don't have to be a big blow heart. Because you can be humble, because you can afford to be humble, because you know who you are. You don't need to go around saying who you are, what you did, and taking pot shots to other people. Not that I'm talking about the election. Oh, gee, are we talking politics now? How did that happen, Nancy? I'm just following you. I don't even want to go there. Let's take the high road. When they go low, you go high. And that's right. I didn't mention names. I neither did I, but we all were all in alignment. No, I actually also want to go on the side of the confidence level and the humility. But when you think that the two don't go together, that that perception is out there. But they think that, quite honestly, I think that's happened with women too. You know, women, the nurturers, and the family keepers, and here we are doing all these things, and then, you know, there's this idea of just because of that, you're not strong in the confidence. You know what I mean? That humility and confidence, and I think women went through a struggle of that for a long time. And then, so you get a right, you can be over strong over what I sometimes do. Absolutely. So what happened? I mean, as you know, I'm a professor of leadership at a graduate level, and so I teach the history of leadership and women leadership in particular. And what's happened with women in the past is that they had to take on those masculine qualities. They thought they had to turn into men to be good leaders. Well, right now, we're going through a whole transformation is many, many, many more women enter the workforce and become leaders. We're actually being celebrated for the qualities and traits we bring, which are our compassion, cooperation, communication. So we're going through a whole paradigm shift right now, as women are able to come into leadership roles and celebrate who they are and celebrate the divine feminine. It's exciting. I'm excited. That is exciting. And it is divine. Yeah, I like that. I like that choice of word there because it's so true because we are we the shift is happening. And so I'm glad your Cherokee wisdom is out there for people to go and get. By the way, I want to talk about the cover art in that too. But before I forget, it's just I love the cover. But when we look at women now in our changing roles in leadership positions, we're still having that part of we want to have equal pay, if not more, if we're better at our job. You know what I mean? So we have these hurdles and obstacles to still overcome. But I believe that we have to do it in a strong way with integrity and be a little bit more polished at times for some and you know, there's different areas. You know what I'm saying? We're still coming into that. We don't have to be very male about it. We're in a, you know, we can and I'm not saying anything anti-male. I'm trying to, you know, I'm just saying, but we can be who we are, but we don't have to take that extra step. Maybe the word is overcompensating. Yeah. I think we can simply be who we are. And we can take on those extra obstacles that are still there. We're in a great shift place. I absolutely agree. But I think we have a few more hurdles to overcome. And then we need to stand our ground. And also support each other. You know, having your feminine tribe, my female tribe is so important because, you know, the young people struggle because they want to fit in and they feel like they're different and they're so hard on each other. So having as you become an adult, having that female tribe that supports you and supports each other, I think is so important. And I feel like women are being more open to support each other. I'm finding that what I think. I love what you're saying and I so agree with you because I've been in workplaces where you'll see one woman try to take another out and it has nothing to do with anything but jealousy. And I'm not going to say that that's just a woman trait because I've seen it work with men too. It really is a, you know, do you always want to fight all for yourself all by yourself? Or do you want to belong to a group of people trying to do the right thing at the right time, whether you're male or female? You know, and I think sometimes men get scared when they hear oldies, women are getting together. Oh, you know, and I don't think they should be scared. They should actually maybe be proud of their women and stand up for their women and their right to be who we are. You know, instead of, you know, that negativity, and it's okay that women get paid less. It's okay we weren't allowed to wear, you know, own property. It was okay that we didn't get the vote. All those things that have taken us years and years and years to overcome, I think men should be proud that we have done that because we've been at their side through everything they need and want. Well, I think that's an excellent point because when we're talking about humility and confidence, how they can coexist, I believe the men, the masculine power and the female power can coexist as well. It doesn't have to be one or the other, and I believe I come from a world of abundance, and when we help each other and support each other, male and female, we all rise. That's exactly right. I mean, the reality is you can't do everything on your own, and it just doesn't happen that way. Well, it's no fun anyway. No, and you talk about, and I wanted, you talk about the village in your book, Cherokee Wisdom. Yeah, and I think it was really interesting about how you put the village because we do all just put it out there, but then we need to look at the village, and this is something we talk about on the show, and it's one of my pet loves of life is individualism, and the importance of individualism and community being one, because you don't have a community that is strong without individualism, and I think that I think really the Native American culture really celebrates that pretty strongly, quite frankly, and I think that's something that we can learn about more in our businesses and our communities, and how a village does thrive is that individualism. And I think in leadership, things are changing, because the millennials think very differently, and they're more socially conscious, so they take everything seriously in the sense that when they go out and buy something, they want to make sure where they're spending their dollars that the corporations are socially responsible, so we're seeing a whole wave of more social responsibility with the big corporations, how they invest in the community, they invest in an environment, and that's all being driven. They're not doing it necessarily because that's what they think is the right thing. They're doing it because the consumers, and in particular young consumers, are demanding it, so we are all powerful. We can affect change through the way we spend our money, the way we live our lives, and the way we support each other. Absolutely. And these big corporations would be a lot happier if they really adopted some of these qualities, this living in fear that somebody is going to write an article about, you'll find out what you're really doing behind the scenes and all that fear that goes in that corporate lot. There's a lot of fear and backstabbing and all sorts of things that go on, where if it was an open, I'd probably sound really idealistic, but if things were a little more open, honest, and driven for the good of everyone, instead of for the good of a few who get most of the money at the top, I'm so gonna get dropped. Oh well, we'll be the first time. Ben, I think everybody wouldn't be having nervous breaks down and committing suicide and being horrible to the person next to them, because they know they're doing something wrong. They know it every single one. That's the intent. They know, they know, they know, deepen their hearts. What they're doing is wrong for the land, they know it's wrong to their neighbor, they know that they're really stealing from other people, they know they're making unfair profits, they know that they're shipping things out to other countries where they're slave labor, they know it and we know it too. We're coming for you. But look at all the good that's happening too. As you have a lot of these billionaires like Mark Zuckerberg and all these different people, they're saying, "Hey, I have enough money. I'm going to share my wealth and actually help the planet." So we're seeing a lot of wealthy people now taking responsibility for helping out others. I think that's so fabulous and I think they should be celebrated as well. Absolutely. There really is. You just look at the ones that are turning the corners and changing. I was looking at Oprah. She's done a lot of that too. She's given so much. A lot of those people have created their money in the right way. They've grown with riches through doing good stuff. I'm not going to sit and look at everyone's background and all that, but the reality is you can give back, but you can now, I think, leaders need to look at making that shift. You talked about the millennials and the millennial market having that more compassionate side, being aware of climate change and the environment, being aware of how their kids are being raised and things like that. Then at the same time, there's the negative side of people saying things, "Oh, it's the millennials. They don't really want to go get jobs." They're this rhetoric that I see. This negative thing where I see this all the time and I'm like, "What?" I feel a balanced generation coming in. I've seen jokes where people are like, "Oh, millennials, all they want to do is do yoga all day and how they're going to survive in the next generation in the next world." I'm going, "What?" I feel like we need to embrace and work with the millennials the more we can, the better. We need to work with their kids. It shouldn't be this generational division that I see spotted from. Maybe it is the 10 percent. Is it the 10 percent? Is that what we're always looking at on the negative side? It's that 10 percent? My thing is, I see there is this huge amount of positive change happening and we have to look at the negative stuff, otherwise we can't conquer it and make it a bit positive. I see this other side of, "You're coming in all excited about the millennials. We're on your side with that." Then there's this faction of people who just have really bad comments to say, and I don't understand how growth comes from bad comments like that. I just really don't like any negativity. With the millennials, they've actually coined phrases, social entrepreneurship, meaning that you can have money and be socially conscious at the same time. If you look at history, there's always been generational divides, and really, the best way you can overcome that is communication. It's just that sometimes the older generation doesn't understand the younger generation, but that's always existed. But it doesn't mean that you have to criticize it or say negative things. I think that we started off the show, diversity. I love diversity. That's one of the reasons I live in Los Angeles. We have all ages, all races, all religions, and I absolutely love it. Diversity is key, and I think learning to meet in a corporate culture, you should have that diversity, because that's how you learn from each other, and you can get stronger as a corporate community or even working in a city. It's all communities. That's how I look at it, whether it's a business or it's a community neighborhood thing. It's all a community at the end of the day, and that's how things should run as a community. I don't know if that sounds idealistic, but I think that's how it is. I agree. It's looking after each other. In a corporate situation and a company or an organization, how does your coworker need to help on something, help them? You know what I mean? Instead of that, you can have a competitive edge, but then it should be like, okay, we're running a contest. Who has the best idea for this versus I'm going to take you out over there. That leadership comes from the top. The attitudes at the top filter down. There's corporate culture, and it depends on what the leadership generates as their culture, is how that corporation will run. I mean, it really is. If there's too much, I think competition is absolutely necessary. Nature is the hotbed of competition. It's how things stand balanced. Natural collection is how things work, but it gets unhealthy sometimes. But I think that the reason that's changing is because women tend to lead by what's called social power where men lead by personal power. So the personal power is like, you know, it's for me. What's in it for me? I'm competitive. I have to do better than everybody else. Social power is going back to the compassion, networking, communication, and the whole group is taking into consideration and the whole group rises. So as we get more women leaders and more social power, I think that's going to really shift and make it. We're going to see the difference, but change takes time. Yeah. Nothing happens overnight, but it's already started. There's that patient part of her book. Patient. I know it's how to have patients when you're in a hurry. Yeah. That's called running on a treadmill. That makes a great look. Here's how it's like when you're at the red light and you're zoom, zoom, zoom in with your foot on the break, you know, the car next to you's like, oh, just play a new song. Yeah, really. Tell us about the, you know, one of the attributes of leadership that you talk about in Cherokee wisdom is becoming a teacher. And by the way, I love the graphics throughout and the quotes that you put in there. It just kind of, at the end and beginning of each chapter, you're like, it just opens and closes it so well. And you move, you know, it just flows. It's a book that flows very easily. It's an easy read, but it makes you stop and think. And I think that's such an important quality of a book like this. If you don't want it to be so, you know, intense that you feel like you're being yelled at, you know, these leadership books that you must do this in that nine o'clock you must run at 10, you must do this. You allow people to create their own future through this, you know, have that breathing moment be inspired, but you know, it's an easy read and it just gives you that thought to move on. But teacher is at the end of it. And I think teacher is something important because it's like the relay race of life is passing it on and becoming a mentor too. Do you feel you become a mentor to a lot of people throughout your career? I feel a responsibility to do that because part of what I talk about in the book, teach, share your knowledge and wisdom with others to improve that individual family or group. So we have a sense of responsibility once we've learned wisdom, and I'm not saying I know everything, but I've had a lot of lessons and some of the lessons I've learned have been from big challenges in my life. I don't have a perfect life. Nobody does. So some of the biggest challenges I've learned lessons. And so if I can share that knowledge and wisdom with other people to make their life easier, then I believe that I've done my job. But I do want to give a quick shout out. You mentioned the artwork on the cover of the book. That was actually commissioned a local Los Angeles artist. His name is Juan Solis. And I told him about my book and I just gave him the vision and he came up with that beautiful artwork. So I actually have the original artwork hanging in my house and I just love the colors. I love the vibrance. I just believe he captured my vision and I'm so grateful. And both sides of your culture too. All your roots are in there too. I know he's a muralist, but it feels like a mural. And I think that's what life is. You just keep painting this giant mural of things that you do. So I like that about it too. And it is vibrant. It's cool. I love the front cover of it. I think I've seen him on TV actually. I think we've seen him. Yeah, he's very famous in LA. Yeah, we've watched a thing. Oh, I know I'm talking about it. And he talks about the positive change to the arts and taking care of the arts in LA. And yeah, I think it was on East LA. It might be wrong. I think so. And the other thing I wanted to point out is that on amazon.com where you can get the book, I also have several reviews and it really, the book resonates with men. I know we've been talking about a lot of women and women leaders, but the guys like it because it's an easy read. It's not a novel. I'm the put up a person I get in out and share the knowledge and guys really appreciate that. So I was pleasantly surprised that the guys really liked the book. That's cool. And I think they want to have that other side. We are in that balance shift. I think that's what it is. Actually, I think that men, I'm going to speak for men now because what did they get do to me? They need to do the point. But they speak for the men now. I think that a lot of them actually are pointing. I'm going to be a man. A lot of men actually appreciate a woman in the workplace. And I'm not talking about to go get some coffee. I'm talking about having a person that understands their vision and has empathy and can maybe fill in some of the gaps they have. They don't know what's going on in the work environment sometimes because they're kind of divorced from it. They don't see everything. Women tend to collect things. They see more of what's going on there. I think their attention, let me put this way, their attention to detail because we are mothers and nurturers. We have so many details to take care of the family. Our attention to detail could be better than theirs. So they need that. We complement each other. Yeah. We're just different. I call it the rhino. And then it's like they're the hunter where the gatherer is kind of thing because we'll go into a bunch of little things, put it all together. Not little necessarily is good or bad. It's important that they focus on one and then we'll do. And we're going to go back to nature made it that way for a reason. See? Yeah. This is a good time. What do you do to balance and keep sane and keep your sense moments flowing? Because you work for the city of LA, I know that you're born meetings and you're dealing with people and directors and all kinds of people. And what do you do personally to recharge and keep that sanity and keep your leadership skills honed and happy? Well, there's three things I do every single day. It's part of my spiritual practice. The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning, I do my gratitude list. What I'm grateful for when you start the attitude with gratitude, it just sits the tone of your day. The second thing I do every day is I pray and I meditate. I like to say prayer is talking to the creator and meditation is listening. So those three things, gratitude, prayer and meditation, those things keep me balanced. Of course, you know, I try to eat healthy, I exercise and all that other good stuff. But for my spiritual peace of mind, the gratitude, prayer and meditation keeps me grounded and sane. That's a good habit, like sort of like good habits to have every day. Do you meditate at the end of the day too? You know, every day is different. I mean, I start out with the gratitude, but the prayer and meditation can come anytime during the day. Like for example, before I called into the show, I did a little prayer with the intention that I can touch people in a positive way. You know, I might meditate later on. So that part, I leave open and flexible, but the gratitude I start out my day with that all the time. Now, when you meditate, you know, you're going to hear Nancy's big male voice come through. I just have to say that. But you know, meditation, I think, is something, it's a tool that is so important. Even if, you know, you're learning and it's, you know, all the crazy thoughts that come through the monkey mind and all that, there's something about just taking that time out. Regardless of what happens, it's just that space of time where everything should stop, you know, for you, that one bit of moment of just, you know, focusing on your breath and just calming down, you know. I think it's a really important thing because, you know, I see so much with what's happening with stress. And so stress can build up to a place where then you're not a good leader of yourself or your team if you're stressed out. There's good stress to make you, you know, keep going, but there's stress that can get into a negative thing as well. So I think meditation is a really good part of that. I like the gratitude too. Yeah, and I have to say, you know, I'm not going to lie to you, it took me a long time to learn how to meditate. I mean, it took me years. It wasn't something that I just picked up very quickly. Because like you said, the monkey mind, I would sit down and then I'd start doing the list of things in my head. I have to go to the store and buy the milk and dada, dada, dada. And so, and then I started with guided meditations. And then I go to a spiritual center called Agape International Spiritual Center with Reverend Michael Bernard Beckwith. I took a class with him. And so that shifted because what he said is that when you hear noises, when you hear the dog bark, whatever it is, you acknowledge that and then let that thought float away. Instead of giving it energy and stressing about it, just say, okay, the dog's barking, let it float away. So once I shifted the way I think, I was able to get into deeper meditations. And then a year and a half ago, I actually spent a week with Deepak Chopra at his center. And we were doing three hour meditations. I never thought I could do that. And it changed everything about me and shifted things in me. And I'm so, so grateful. So do you think that we have, because of our culture of today, we have disconnected from ourselves in some of our hearts? Yeah, because, you know, we're so busy going and going and going. It's like, and women are in particular, are guilty of this, because we take care of everybody else around us in Latinas in particular, everybody else comes first. And sometimes we forget ourselves. And it's like, you know, I always use the example when you're on an airplane, they're doing the safety briefing. And they say, if the oxygen mask comes down, put it on your South first instead of the kid. And that's kind of counterintuitive for us. It's like, okay, we got to take care of everybody else. And many times we forget ourselves. And if we can't take, if we don't take care of ourselves, how are we going to take care of anybody else? You know, my grandmother used to say charity begins at home. And then she'd always say, I'm not talking about money or property. She would say, if you don't take care of yourself, you're useless to everybody else. She was a wise woman. Yeah, she was. Yeah, she was. She's a cool little nana. She was a four foot nine little British lady who kicked butt fire. Yeah. You know, she was what I told the truth of the family. I know she was the only one in my family who told the truth. I know she was the one on the side that really was. This is how it is. This is who your heritage is. So yeah, that's an interesting other side of it. I wanted to go back to the meditation side where you're talking about acknowledging the dog barking. Because I think isn't that also just part of life is acknowledging things. And the more we don't acknowledge the more that piles up into a big poo poo pile of stress or or or it can take a situation just like we were talking about wildfires before you came on a small smoking ember versus now you've got like a whole field that's on fire. When we don't acknowledge things or acknowledge people on good or bad, it's not a good thing. So acknowledgement is another part of your book too as it's respected and acknowledgement. And that actually ties into my first book finding sane relationships in a crazy world. It sounds like a relationship book, but the most important relationship you could have is with yourself. We all have baggage that we accumulate emotional baggage, anger, resentment, shame, guilt and securities. So it's really taking a look at what that our emotional baggage is and releasing it or else it accumulates and it affects us in different ways. I think it makes sense. Yeah, I really do. Absolutely. Yeah, you don't want to be sick. It's not fun. I don't like that. It's not a good thing at all. Now Cherokee wisdom, everyone, again, Cherokee wisdom 12 lessons to become a powerful leader again on Amazon. You can also go to Cynthia and Ruiz and you're donating 10% of your royalties to the non-profit Girls Today Women Tomorrow group. Can you tell us a bit about them and everyone on the website, gtwt.org. Tell us a little bit about them. So Girls Today Women Tomorrow is a leadership mentorship program in the inner cities of Los Angeles. So these young girls, they grow open environments of gangs and drugs and all this negativity. So we actually have a house, a safe house they come to and we do mentoring. We teach them organic gardening. We teach them all these different amazing skills and you know what? They believe in themselves. They go on to college and graduate from college. So it's investing in that next generation and basically showing them opportunities, giving them support and helping them believe in their selves because culturally in the Latino culture I hear so many of these young women say well my dad said my brother can go to college but I can't go to college and it's that whole cultural thing that women you know have a different role. So we have some amazing young women that go on to college. They travel the world through going to exchange programs and I just a big believer that once you reach a certain place in your life you have a responsibility to help others. So my first book I actually donated money as well and now with my second book I want to continue that and that's part of leading by example and I believe in what's called the law of reciprocity. What you put out is what you get back. Not that I have any expectations but I'm so blessed. I'm so blessed and a lot of it is because I give out so much so it's a win-win situation. You know I've just done a kind of a curve on this. You know and I think sometimes also is there's maybe because I'm just how do I put this? Women have a possibility of women also having kind of a fear of money. If that makes sense it's part of going back to that confidence side and talking about okay so going out there and getting the college degree and things like that but there's also that fear of success and there's the fear of actually making the money like that's almost like an evil thing at some point too in some people's makeup there is that fear. How do you balance that when you are a mentor and you're you know teaching people and what are your thoughts on that too of that balance because it's okay to you know when we're talking about like the Zuckerbergs and here they are they they turn around and do something with the money. How much do you need? How much is too much? You know what I mean? Well you know so what do you think we are these days in regards to the fear of making money or the left for money and then balancing it all out? Well you bring up an excellent point because a lot of these young Latinas that we work with we actually do financial literacy classes because if the fear comes from the unknown they're there they we need to educate them so they can understand money and the responsibility of money because the fear is you don't know and a lot of times in the Latino community the parents may not even have a bank account you know they go to these check cashing places which rip them off and so that's what they grow up knowing but once they learn to have a relationship with money and a positive relationship it helps them overcome the fear so fear is powerful like you said there's fear of success there's fear of the unknown fear fear fear and sometimes you just got to walk through that fear get the education and you realize all those fears that you had were all in your head they're not reality just like that song it's in your head zombie fear is part of nature it's there to keep you out of trouble you know if you watch a rabbit run across the street you know that the rabbit knows to speed up when he gets to the middle of the road at the beginning he's kind of stopped there looking and at the end they never clear the road they sit on the pavement like a foot in still on the road but they know during the middle of the road you move it's like that there's that um the fear is there to wake you up and make you aware it's not supposed to consume you it's supposed to be a warning system like pain you need pain physical pain in order to tell you there's something wrong in your body it's not supposed to consume you it's a warning system things just get out of balance that's all right right it's it is all part of the balance i love the balance of it all so Cynthia what is your champagne toast what are you happy about i raise my glass to all the women around the world who are rising to their power and making a positive difference in this world and that includes you two beautiful ladies well thank you can we raise our glass back to you and to all the ladies too we've this is a communal toast absolutely and to people doing anything positive you know it is and i think it's it's standing strong in that and then if we build a stronger community of positivity then people will be stronger and keep doing it and we won't break the chain of it see that's the thing to do cheers absolutely absolutely cheers you know a real pleasure having you on the show it's been a fantastic conversation and again i hope everyone goes get your book Cherokee wisdom 12 lessons to become a powerful leader again on amazon and all those great places you can also follow Cynthia on twitter @synthia and release and you can go to her website as well and Cynthia are you going to do another one just you know we've always asked we have to ask her are you going to do you know book number three i absolutely am and at this moment i don't know what it is yet the creator will guide me i just want to say Lisa and Nancy thank you so much you guys are amazing and i really appreciate this opportunity to talk to your listeners and you guys thank you we are too we're really glad you could join us and i'm going to i'm going to email you after this too thank you for taking email tomorrow for me because i have an idea and i definitely i you know i want to give a shout out again to the organization that you've partnered with girls today women tomorrow everyone g t w t dot or go check it out and i love that you guys are teaching me even organic gardening so it's really all those life lessons that feel cool so i want to go get my hands dirty there so you'll get an email from us tomorrow about all that so thanks so much and have a wonderful week bye bye bye [Music] [Music]
Cynthia M. Ruiz is an award-winning inspirational speaker, leadership expert, commissioner, professor, and author of “Cherokee Wisdom: 12 Lessons for Becoming a Powerful Leader”.