The Road to Teshuva | Part 4, by Rav Moshe Taragin
Can Teshuva Aspiration be Too Ambitious; Divine Reassurances Without Reducing Standards
KMTT - the Torah Podcast
The Road to Teshuva | Part 4
OK, I'm traveling for a few days, so I will not be giving shear after chakras in my normal slot. But I will try as best as I can, sometimes hard when I'm traveling, to keep some of this shear and keep the continuity. Elle waits for no one. So Elle continues, Russia shine the looms. This year in particular, it's just such a flood and storm of emotions and fear, honestly fear had or had to approach us every day we received more horrible news and yesterday we saw the imagery, the horrific imagery of how our people suffered for months of the time and just the abominable conditions today, unfortunately, as I recorded this, I just saw the headlines. It was a helicopter crash, which took two, the lines of two middle in the middle in the mid 30s, 37, 38 with children, it just seems like there's no end in sight, so we got the Takarish barhu as our hearts are filled with sadness and gloom. Chuvah is the type of experience which is very aspirational, it's very inspiring, it's transcendent, it transcends logic, there's no logical reason that confessing sins and performing heartfelt confessionals and improvements should alleviate or quit you from consequence and from punishment and from penalties, it's of course transcends time, you look back at your past, you can rewrite your past and of course it's endless because in a search for authentic change and authentic self, in an authentic relationship with Akarish barhu, nothing is ever enough, you work and you plug and you try to descend into yourself and uncover layers of self and remove layers of conceit and artifice and delusion and dishonesty and you're still never there, you're still never fully there, I know as hard as I work personally and I'm a good person, that's worked very hard, I'm always left with this knowing concern have I done enough and have it been successful and it brings out the best and it brings out our greatest dreams and ambitions and yet it's particularly that aspect which can be daunting and which can deter Chubha, I'll never get to the finish line and I'll always be tens of hypocrisy in my Chubha, I don't know, the next year I'll be right back where I began this year and another not all my commitments will be true, so why bother and why engage in, I think it sits at the heart of Chubha like all the paradoxes, if you don't confront it, you don't voice it, I don't think you are encountering Chubha at its most raw and honest space or plain, I think that Chubha, being that it is an interaction between Akarish barhu and human beings, it's fraught with paradoxes and with conflicts and you can't resolve the conflicts, you should be aware of the conflicts and you round out the conflicts or soften the edges of the conflict and so much of Chubha, avoiding simplistic slogan eyes, formulaic Chubha is to cut down to the bone and when you strip things down to the bone you'll find paradox and conundrum and this is one of them, on the one hand you want you to be motivated to be sweeping and panoramic and timeless and relentless and true and honest and comprehensive on the other hand were human beings and in many respects it's a reflection of our vortices and in general, rivalsasan spoke about this a lot, if you will quote over these next few shear, I will quote liberally from an article in a safer called return and renewal which I think is a basic, basic safer of Chubha with one caveat, you have to understand how to read rivalsasan, it's very hard, these articles must be read at least three or four times to understand them with a pencil and a ruler and summarizing it on your own, I think the rivalsala Chubha is more accessible and more digestible for beginners, rivalsasan is very complex and very sophisticated but I'm reading it for the second and third time as I'm reading it it's starting to percolate within me and marinate with him and I realize these are basics of Chubha, basics of the vorticesan, I believe that this and rivarans by his light are his voice, his quintessential voice, I hear him in the safer, so I will be quoting from the article mediocre Chubha and the chubha of the mediocre, it's in the safer where we return and renewal and I think the microcosm of this dilemma is the comparison between Chubha and Tahara, which is a basic about hope, which is a basic about hope, niktas we really need hope this year, it's hard to find hope but of course you have a kiva darshan, mikvah and nittara satame, matha karush bharkam, nittara satame so much of Chubha is compared to Tahara and Vinkhaal and a mikvah and the Gamaar says it's someone who performs Chubha without sincerity and intent to transform and change, it's kithuvil, visharit, bhiyadhu, it's analogous to some of the immersus and nimikmah while holding an impure object, so obviously the analogies between Chubha and Tahara, I think those are analogies, if you're not a husser, they stop it being analogies, going to the mikvah does not confer any aspect of Chubha, it's just, Chubha is penitence and sincerity and chvila and staka, chubha it's vila tzaka and of course mitzvos, but in chosidas going to the mikvah was actually a way to achieve spiritual tara and the different ways to be the mikvah but regarding the mikvah there's no partiality, either your entire body is immersed in the mikvah or the entire immersion is disqualified, it's invalid, it has to be complete, it's all enough, it's in some game, it's binary, yes or no, and if Chubha is compared to the mikvah so Raviaran spoke about this many times, but he felt that number one, it's just morally troubling to think that Khrashbaruhu could set such a high surpassing standard that would be inaccessible to most people, but of course it's not just morally troubling on a theoretical level, but it's also practically, it would deter people, it would cause resignation rather than inspiration, so here's a quote, page 104 from the book, "If we indeed reach this conclusion, exulting and idealizing the process of Chubha, raising its demands to heights that are beyond the reach of the ordinary banoni, there may be no greater way to weaken the resolve and determination of balichuva, on the one hand we are troubled, we can not attain such a noble and grand ideal, so on one hand it's troubling, on the other hand practically, and this is me, I think we may resign ourselves to the understanding that if we cannot attain the leechuva we will lower our expectations and efforts, contending ourselves with a low key form of Chubha." So this is something which troubled Raviathan Saint, and it's not just that Chubha issue with a general of Otis Ashen issue, how to balance, how to rationalize, but how to articulate a world that demands of us, demands we'd be aspirational, demands that we'd be excellent, demands that we'd be complete and perfect as perfect as possible, yet the reality, there were human beings. Now, as a Thumboldt, you should not hear it sound, to me the balance was struck in the polarity between what Raviathan's scene of Udamegal, because Raviathan was that angel who demanded so much of himself and by the sheer force of his personality lodged implicitly, those demands upon us. It was like a moral religious hurricane, you just couldn't get out of its wages, drew you in its path, and Raviathan's exuded normalcy acceptance of humanity with all its inherent limitations and the fragility and delicacy of the human condition, so for me, Raviathan charged us to be angels and Ravi Thumboldt grounded us as human beings or allowed us to accept our humanity, but Raviathan is wrestling with that issue itself, and of course, behind every article about Chubha and the Safer is really a discussion about a voter session. That's what makes the Safer to me so foundational, it's not a Safer of Chubha, it's a Safer about Jewish experience and religious experience streamed through the lenses of Chubha. So, Raviathan felt that Akrashbar, who already addressed this question, based on the Pasokim and Chubha. 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It's almost an interplay between Chat and Drash. The Pshat is reassuring and the Drash is demanding. Now, I'll just quote Revarand just to summarize him and the next piece I'll have to talk about, well, where can we validate mediocre children, where can the orchestra not be validated? Chubha Revarand writes is attainable. Will it be perfect? Will it compare to the Chubha of the Hatha Trayam? Certainly not. But the Chubha of the Benoni is also a form of a lotus ashen. God accepts this Chubha as well. And it too has religious and spiritual significance. But the concurrent message is that one must do all that one can, exerting all the efforts at one's disposal, harnessing all of one's energies and all of one's capacities in order to retain the noblest religious end. Here's the summary, me speaking. If we read Revarand continues, these two messages together, what I call the literal meaning of the posit, reassurance, whatever you achieve, you achieve, accepting mediocrity, but also demanding higher. They assert that, and to me, this is almost what I'm about to read to you. To me is probably the most important sentence in the entire 230 page book. I wrote an introduction to the Hebrew version. So if you have the Hebrew version, I called the introduction and Hebrew a compassionate discount, Chubha Baracham. But this is where Varan says that, to me, this is really the thesis of the entire saver. These two readings, namely the literal reading, that's not in heaven. You can reach it, it's attainable, but also the demand that it had in heaven, you still should supersede human limitations to achieve something which is transcendent and eternal, that we may be granted a compassionate discount, that phrase, a compassionate discount, with regard to accomplishment and attainment. God will be satisfied with Varan rights, with whatever you're able to achieve. And says, "Lawba Shamami, whatever you achieve." But not with regard to effort and exertion, not with regard to effort. Varan summarizes, "We are not held responsible for our output, but we are strictly accountable for our input." And just these phrases are so vivid and so compelling. Outputs, we can be satisfied with whatever we achieve, but input has to be maximum. Compassion, a discount regarding achievement, no discount with regard to effort and commitment. In the next year, I'll try to talk about what types of, in January and Chubha are still valid and which are so hollow that they can't even be ratified.