Get ready for going viral, get ready for going viral. Hello, everyone, and welcome back to another installment of the viral podcast. I'm your host, Chelsea Land. I'm your host, Paige Jyn-Jyn-Jyn-Jyn-Jyn-Jyn-Tos. Oh, you have the alarm going? No. Let me get that going. We're getting the alarm going, and Maggie's here with us today. Hello. How many alarms you have going today, Maggie? That shouldn't be any today. Whoa. Shouldn't be any, but we'll see. That's right. Absolutely. Absolutely. Maggie's looking a little bit like Ted Bundy today. Oh, that's who it is. Yeah. Ted or... Was it Ted? A little bit. No, the other killer. Candy. Mm. Yeah, I can see that. The lady. It was the guy. Oh, Jeffrey Dahmer? Yes. Dahmer. She's putting off 80s, she's putting off vintage serial killer vibes, but it looks good. Thank you. How would you kill somebody? I wouldn't. If you had to, though, how would you? Yeah. Depends. I'm not going to kill away for fun, but if it was like self-defense or whatever, or if I had to kill someone in that way, I'd probably just, I mean, I don't know. You'd have to look around and see what object you had. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, let's say there were three objects laying around. You had a bat, a sword. Oh, damn. Just got a sword laying around. My dad does. Oh, I believe it. Because he's always doing his... Yeah. Oh, my shit. What does he call it? It's a Chinese thing. Yeah. Or a frickin... a sludge hammer. I'm picking a sword. And I'm trying to imagine you've been sword, that'd be the funniest thing I've ever... And I'm hoping it's sharp. Oh, it has to be. Yeah, it's sharp. The sword's going to win. Over the sludge? Is it sludge or sludge? You get one decent shot with the sledge, and you're good, but... Ooh. I don't even... Yeah, I don't even... Sludge. Shoo-ooh. Shoo-ooh. You're a slighter. Hey, can I ask you a question? I saw this in a news article, and it got me thinking, "What do you think about this?" What do you think is the best rock and roll band of all time? Ooh. I did it all the time, and rock you. Ooh. And you can't say creator Nickelback. Okay. Rock and roll. Ooh. This is hard. That is hard. Is that like an era? No. Okay. No. You can pick... Anyone. Rock and roll history. What do you think is like, "Hey, this is the best band of all time." What do you even consider rock and roll? I feel like... Rock and roll? I feel like I hear a song that's not rock and roll, and people will say it's rock and roll. Like what? I'm just trying to think. But I know what's happened before. I'm like, "That's rock and roll." Yeah. Well, rock and roll has changed over the years. Same with country. Yeah. It's like... And there's different styles of rock and roll. Yeah. That's like country. That's like country. That's a really open-ended question. Yeah. And I guess it depends on what kind of mood you're in at the time. Yeah. Can y'all just give me a band name? No. No. Because I probably wouldn't know a band name, but I'd probably know a song. Obviously, okay. I would say Fleetwood Mac, the Rolling Stones. Like Bad Company, does that count? Yeah. Led Zeppelin. Or Skinner, dude. Skinner. Yeah. Either one of those would probably be mine. My top. Yeah. Yeah. I like... That's something from it. Bad company. Oh, yeah. Bad company. I would say that's one of my favs. I think it's got to be a tie between... Oh, gosh. It's got to be a tie between Pink Floyd. Oh, yeah. Them too. Yeah. And Led Zeppelin. It has to be. Yeah. And I would probably say Led Zeppelin. Yeah. It's got to be. Did you like Motley Crue? I love Motley Crue. I watched the Theo Vaughn movie. Tommy Lee. How was it? Dude. Probably one of Theo's best episodes. I didn't know Tommy Lee was so cool. I got to watch it. Oh. Well, have you heard he's got a big wiener? That's what he's known for. And... Oh, big sled chama. He did it on Instagram. Mm-hmm. Maybe that. Mm-hmm. I didn't get there quick enough. I did. I'm usually... Yeah, you're usually scoliosisin, but how was it? It was... I thought it'd be bigger. Yeah, same. Oh. Nah, nah, nah, nah. It was a big dick. Don't get me wrong. Yeah. I just was... You always hear like, "Oh, Tommy Lee's got a hug. He's known for this big Owen." And I just... When they were like, "Oh, Tommy Lee's posted and I ran so fast thinking I would be like, "Oh my God." And I'm just like, "Okay." Well, was it flaccid? I don't know. Surely it was... I think it might have been a semi. I don't think it was standing straight up. Mm. Right. So, yeah, not a semi-truck. It was a little above average. Like... Right? It was big. It was big. It was big. It wasn't no massive hog. Okay, what? Girth. Decent sized girth. What's decent? Like a... Like a... Rollos? Rollos? Or like... Oh, why bigger than rollos? Okay, those big sweet tarts that come in a pack of three. Bigger. Bigger. That's not smarties. I'm talking about those sweet tarts. Dang. Bigger than that. A tunicant? No. Okay. Smell it a little bit. Jesus Christ. Not as big. Squash. A medium sized squash, yeah. Okay. Garden squash. A yellow garden vegetable squash, yeah. That's big then. Yeah, but I thought, when he did that, I thought, man, how cool. He didn't care. You think he did it on accident or? No. No. No. His wife, Brittany, says he didn't do it on accident. She was, that's him. That's the kind of... He loves that stuff. Had his account not get deleted. And this was right after my account got deleted. Yeah. And I was mad. I'm like, wait. And it actually stayed up for... Too long. A couple hours, I think. Yeah. A long time. But it's like, oh, I do nothing and my account gets deleted. Tell me what he's posting this hog. I posted a picture of us with an egg over our nips, skis and deleted. Yeah. They go through my posts from months ago, just from my stories and our deleting things. It's wild. Yeah. I can't do that no more. Yeah. Lots of deleteers. I never saw the Drake wiener either. Me neither. I never saw that. I never saw the Drake wiener either. You got to come up, you got to make a song, a full rap on that. Yeah. It's called, I never saw the Drake wiener either. I never saw the Drake wiener either. Nice. Yeah. People said it was hard to find. So I just didn't go looking. I found it on Twitter. It wasn't. Too crazy. Yeah. Wild and car inflatable. Because he was like... I don't know. Nothing about that. Oh, he was twisting it. He twisted it. Yeah. Well, if I had a wiener, I would probably do stuff with it like that too. I'd probably post it to Instagram. I'd twist it. Yeah. So he put a pool floaty on it and was wanking it? Really? I didn't see that. I don't know if I saw... Wow. If I was a celebrity, especially like A-Lister like that, every nude I took would assume would make it to the internet. So I'd be doing something cool. Oh, for sure. You know what I mean? I would have even captioned the noodle. I would have put, you know, pool, noodle, N-U-D. N-U-D. N-U-D-L-L. Yeah, I'd do something. Noodle. Because I would be twisting my wee wee painting it like a snake. Can I just say, I'd like to thank the rock truckers for joining us on another week. We love and appreciate you guys. We wouldn't be doing this podcast without you. That's for sure. That is for sure. For sure. And we say it every week and we probably sound like everyone else who has a podcast. That's the truth. So can we do a shout? Shout out. Ready to round. Give them shout. Give them shout. Give them shout. Give them shout. Give them shout. Give them shout. Give them shout. Give them shout. Whoo. Yeah. Give them a clap. All right. Clap clap. I would like to shout out convenience store workers. Beautiful. Which ones are the stock in the shelves or? Late night, chef. Okay. Yeah, they got a lot to handle. Because they're dealing with people like all top people just coming in and you're dealing with people, you know, asking for cigarettes. Where's the bathroom key? Where's the, you know, and it's got to be extra scary working at night. Oh, with every customer, am I going to be held up at gunpoint and got a got with a little shot? Yeah. Right. So I'd like to shout out to convenience store workers. You guys are doing great. Keep up the good work. You know, when we're on the road, we stop at a lot of convenience stores and you guys are doing great. That's a good one. Yeah. I would demand a chair behind the cashier stand or I wouldn't be working there. Right. Okay. I would like to give a shout out to elevator assistants. Oh, because dude just sitting in the elevator going up and down all day and you're just like the worst thing is being in an elevator with people and you're just standing there. I wonder how many farts they hear. Farts and I guess there's some positives to it because if you're a guy, you get to look at girls' asses all day, leaving the elevator. Oh, yeah. We can do it anywhere you go. Yeah, that's true. Have you ever been in an elevator with the elevator assistant? I was trying to think very rare. I mean, we did at the bath house. Oh, yeah. We did. Yeah. Take us up and down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very rare though. But at Padres games or events, there's usually an old person in the elevator pushing the button for you. Just sitting there. I'm like, how long are they in here? And that would be born, you're just going, I'd rather be doing that than like slinging hot dogs. Really? Yeah. You'd be rather confined in a, I'd rather be sitting. If my job was to set and push a button, I'd be great. But then you have to talk to everyone and still deal with a lot of people. No, I don't. All you gotta say is, what floor? Fuck you. Fuck you motherfucker. How about alarm? Fuck you. Hey, if you're an alarm, fuck you are working at Apple and you still have the worst alarm sounds ever and you need to upgrade them. Fuck you. Say fuck you with us if you're at home and you just, you can't say it or whatever, just say it in your head. Fuck you. Or say it in your breath. Or say it in your breath. Go. Fuck you. Yeah. Yeah. And then just under your breath, just fuck you. Fuck you. Oh, it feels good. Yeah. You bitch. Cause everyone's got to say it. Okay. Everyone's got to say it. Oh, even the Mormons. Oh yeah. And I think the Mormons do be saying it. They do. Yeah. Mormons are very, you know Mormons more than me. More. Mormons. You know, more Mormons. More Mormons. Yeah. Yeah. They are dedicated. Yeah. Well, you know, that's what you do when you're a Mormon. I don't get why religion. You can't drink soda though. Mormons can't drink soda. They can't have caffeine. That's why it's like seven up all the. I don't know. I didn't know that. Non caffeinated. Yeah. They had to sneak it. Like all of my friends on trips would be like, they were still there. Don't do it. Yeah. To this day, dude. So they're not supposed to drink caffeine, but they do. Yeah. Come on now. You don't got to do better. Yeah. That's the one thing. That's, that's the, come on. If friends would come over there and we'd have like Mountain Dew, they would sneak it. We couldn't tell their mom or. I did not know this. Mm-hmm. Did you know that, Aggie? I was thinking, I thought maybe they talked about it in the house swap or not the house swap. I don't know. You know, Cody Brown? Oh yeah. Sister wives. Yeah. Sister wives. I was thinking they talked about it in the beginning, like the first season, but I couldn't remember. I did not know that. Yeah. There's a couple of rules. Definitely that not having sex before marriage, definitely. Yeah. So if you're, if you are drinking soda, are you even a Mormon? Well, if you're breaking the rules, you're like a Jack Mormon or I don't know if you have to do any, like have any punishment or whatever the hell they call it, but Mormon rules. Yeah. What happens if you. Some of my friends couldn't take a shower on Sunday because the devil worshiped the water. I didn't know. Man, I don't know. There's a lot I don't know about. I did not know that. Dang dude. 613 rules for members of the Mormon church. We should read off like 20 each episode. Oh my gosh. Y'all, we talk about Mormons a lot. We love Mormons and it's very interesting. I feel like our podcast spreaded, spreaded, spreader, spreader. I feel like we started a whole Mormon debacle on the internet. I feel like TVP started it for real. Nobody was talking about that shit and we opened up and spilled the beans. Yeah. The bed jump and all that. That was us. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Here's a few. No. I heard it earlier on this. Do not smoke. Do not drink alcoholic beverages. Do not drink coffee. Do not drink tea. No chewing tobacco. No use of drugs. Keep the word of wisdom, health code. Do not affiliate with any groups or people opposed of the church. Wow. So you can't be friends with people that oppose. Yeah. So it was like hard for me. Although I was invited to birthday parties and stuff, a lot of my friends weren't allowed over to my house because we weren't Mormon. Wow. Wow. Wow. One is pay your child support payments. That should be for anybody. Yeah. That's every... Do not swear, become well educated, pray morning and night. Man, I'd get confused. I'd be like, damn, what number is that again? There's too many numbers for me to remember. Yeah. Going to sem... is it seminary? Mm-hmm. I got into that thinking it was going to be all cool and easy and I'd just get an easy A. Did you? No. I had to check out. They were talking about Joseph and all these things, I've just so many terms and words. Too many people. And you actually had to take tests and stuff and I was like, uh, no, I got a... That's what we're not going to do. Yeah. Now you fart on the internet. Yeah. Too many people to worry about. And all my friends had CTR rings. Oh. You know, that means you're Mormon. I didn't know that. CTR, what does that stand for? Um... Uh... CTR. Guess. Um... Okay, I'm going to guess. Oh, look it up. CTR. Christ. The... Richard. Richard! Richard! Richard! Richard! What the heck? I don't know. Well, I guess I have to put Mormons. Give 'em shout. Give 'em shout. Give 'em clap. Give 'em shout. She's looking up at CTR means. Choose the right... Oh. CTR, baby. I mean, that's kind of like, you know, do better. Yeah, do better. Make a good choice. That's our, um... That's our slogan. That's our... For our cult. That's how I'm like Mormon slogan. Wonderful. For this cult, we have going. So, uh... Well? We can't wait to see you guys. Uh... Can't wait to speak. We can't wait to see you guys. And should we do some... Should we do a little bit of a... A malt clicky? A little malt clickmo... A malt... A dis? Get. Trivie. Get. Trivie y'all. Uh... Get. Trivie. Get. Trivie y'all. Fuck me. Get. Trivie. Get. Trivie y'all. Ooh. I can't wait to sing that live with you guys on tour, by the way. That is number one, even... That's number one. That's number one. A lot of people sing and get trivie, and y'all know we're going to sing it like five times. Oh, baby girl. Are we ever... Baby girl. Baby girl. Baby girl. What's your name? Baby girl. Stop. [laughter] Baby, we come read the trivie, y'all. Uh... Have a mic back here. Ooh. She's got a... Uh... Here she is. Uh... Oh, but what about your face? Well, yeah. Well, we'll just have... Can we... Ben, can you edit Ben's face? Beth, are you back there? I'm back here. What? How are you? I'm good. Y'all look beautiful today. You look best. Music. Thank you, Bethie. Thank you. You're welcome. Get your Buzz Aldrin's. Dude. And get ready. You are Dakota fanning me out. What? You cold? Most geek treasure or moltfanny. So right before we started filming the pot, I was pot. And it's so hot down here. I was sweating. I was like, "Oh, God." So I turned the fan off, and then I got hot. I can't film this pot without the fan on. Get the fan on. I turned it on. It's on low. It's blowing directly towards me. And me. You're getting a little bit of maltzage. You're getting a leftovers. No, you can fit the maltzue ifty. I tell you. More stinky. I know. But I do have a little hood, but more stitched. All right. Is everybody ready? Hey. Sucks having a fat friend when you're always thin and cold, and I'm always... Well, I know. Hot and sweaty and cold and shaken. Yeah. Like a little chihuahua. Chihuahua. Oh, I can't wait to go to Wal-Walls on tour. Oh, and we're going to go. Oh, my. Hey, sorry. But leave comments on where we should start. Yes. Yes. Where should we go eat? We need to know. Oh. I need to know now. Yes. Here we go. Here we go. Oh, yeah. Fuck me. Who sings that? Animals yellow. I don't know. And already. Yellow. Here we go. Walt Disney had a phobia of what kind of animal? Mice. That is correct. Good job. Kelsey? Yes. I did not know that, but I kind of used common sense. Mm-hmm. I paid off. And TikTok. I didn't know. I did know that. I never saw it on TikTok. Oh. Okay. Ready? Malt streaky. Oh. Math. Math. Here we go. We know we're good at math. Mm-hmm. What does 100 plus 49 minus 50 equal? 101. 99. Oh. 99 is correct. Oh shit. What was it? Good job. Mousty. Mousty. Good job. Yeah. Mousty. Good job, Kelsey. You're so smart, dude. Thank you. Oh, gosh. What was I even thinking? Hey, you were close. You were close. That was real close. Mousty. Okay. Am I ready? Mousty. What's that? Mousty. Shh. Shh. Shh. Animals. Yellow. Animals. Yellow. What venomous jellyfish can kill a human in a matter of minutes with this lethal sting? Shh. Jellyfish? What type of jellyfish? It's got a name. A clear one. Ah. A clear and dry. A Western Diamondback. Purple. Purple. Purple. Um. Who knows? Tops of jellyfish. I know. There's one. A jellyfish. No. Guarantees someone listening knows this. Um. Let's wait. Can you just give us a little hint? Um. Is it a moustache? I have to recycle this thing twice a week because Chelsea gets a lot of them. Well, I wouldn't know. Boxes. Yes. It's called a box jellyfish. Little puffy. A box spring jellyfish. Okay. Well, that was hard. Okay. I don't know. Tops of jellyfish. I just don't. I barely know all the animals. Right. Okay. All right. Hit me. All right. There's a jellyfish in my pants right now. Stop. And it's red. Okay. National parks. Plus. Alrighty. The Great Smoky Mountains runs through two states. From the two states at the Tennessee and Kentucky. Mm. Incorrect. Snook. You can go. Tennessee and Virginia. Nope. Nope. I'm just going to first can say Tennessee and Alabama. Nope. Nope. Tennessee and. What's beside it? Let me see. Let me see. What's to the east of us. Come on. I thought it was Virginia. Tennessee and Georgia. Carolina. There you go Maggie. Whoa. Yes. I'm going to give y'all the half. We got Tennessee right half. I kind of need to look around on the map. I haven't even had time to explore Tennessee. Look around. See I look at maps all the time. I need to. But I'm just looking at TikTok. Do you just pull them up and look sometime? What are you looking at? Just what's around? Just look around. What is around? Just things. Mountains and deserts. What are all the states? There's deserts around us. Not around us. What are all the states surrounding Tennessee? What's above us? Virginia. No. No. Kentucky. What's below us? Alabama. Yup. What's to the east? North Carolina. And then Arkansas. You got it. Mostly. I just didn't know what was to the east of us. I didn't know it was North Carolina. I knew the other three. I don't even know what way I'm facing right now. Hey guys. Good job. We needed no more. I haven't got one most stick right in weeks. Okay Paige. What are the states surrounding Texas? This should be the most common sense. Yeah you got this. You got it. Just think about it. Just think about it. I'll give her a hint. There's four states surrounding Texas. Okay so. What's technical? One. Technically but yeah. Just think. Mount Stik. Come on, Mount Stik. Okay, where are we, Mount Stikky? Let's say you're in Texas. Okay, that's at the bottom. That's real big. And then we got above it. We got. Come on. Tennessee. No. All Kentucky. No. Texas. Oklahoma. Uh-huh. Oklahoma. We got Arkansas. Yep. Uh-huh. We got a little bit of Louisiana. Yep. And. We got a little bit of sticky with it. Come on. You got that Mount Stik. Come on, Mount Stikky. It is a Wyoming. No. God that's way off. You got that Mount Stik to the west. That other Mount Stikky. Come on. You're going through the TPs. TPs. Oh, is it my thinking of Arizona? Nope. Oh. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. You give it to me. What is that little Mount Stikky? You're thinking about that Mount Stik. Albuquerque. Oh. Hard air balloons. Wait. What? Texas, right? What state is Albuquerque in? Oh, New Mexico. Oh. Mount Stik, she got the Mount Stik. You got that Mount Stikky. You really got Mount Stikky. You got that Mount Stikky. Mount Stik's. Okay. I got the Mount Stik's. Ready? Ready. Here we go. The world in shit, the world in shit, purple. Here we go. Which country has the longest coastline in the world? Which country? Australia. Incorrect. I think I know. Oh. Wait. Don't you have the recipe back there? Oh, I don't. Wait. Can you repeat though? Which country has the longest coastline in the world? Africa. No. It starts with a C. Canada. Canada is correct. Oh, yes. That was learning my second guess. I wasn't going to say that. I wasn't going to say that. What were you going to say? Oh, I mean. I was going to say South America. You know what's trippy? Is that Africa is the continent? And then there's what? 52 countries inside the continent? I mean 52 what? I don't know nothing about that. Yeah. So South Africa is in Africa. I really wish. There's 54 giant here. So what are they? 54 countries? Yeah. There's 54 countries in Africa. Wow. In Africa? Yeah. And South Africa is one of them, just like the big shanks and down at the bottom. Yeah. And then there's 12 countries in South America, Maggie. That's what you were thinking. Wow. Yeah. All of those are so confusing. And I feel like they try to make it confusing to just look at stuff like that though. Yeah, but then I forget it. Like languages languages. Languages. Hey, wait, do you know the five states surrounding Utah? Come on. What? You know that. You know that. Oh, man, I'm drawing a blank. Come on. Utah is Utah above Nevada Nevada. It's to the left. It's below it's to the right of Nevada to the right, but it touches it. Right. Yes. I need a real checkup on the snap. I'd have to just look at a map to know. Montana. Nope. No, there's a state between Utah and Montana. Oh, Mt. Stix. I'm in trouble. I'm all busy. I know. I know. But there you go. Cheyenne. Wyoming. Yeah. Now you're just giving us. Yeah. What's the other one? I don't know. You're just giving us that Mt. Sticky. Yeah. What is it? Just do one more death. All right. Okay. It's in Arizona. I didn't know that. Yeah, that almost kind of hard one. Yeah. And see, that's why I didn't know Texas. I just didn't grow up on that side. Yeah. You know? More stupid, right? I'm a little stupid. All right. Language is. Here we go. Do you think people are like, "Dang." I can't believe I listened to these people on the bus, isn't it? Yes. I think people are either, "They love," or we say, "Maul Stix, Maul Dickey," and they say it too, and then other people have already stopped listening to this because we've said it a thousand times. No, I'm not even talking about Maul Dickey's, "Maul Stix." I'm talking about us just being like, "We don't even know the surrounding." Yeah. And then people. And then we're saying here, like, giving advice. Yeah. I'm also not giving advice. I'm just saying words, and you can take it as advice if you want. Yeah. I'm not giving advice. I'm just giving my personal opinion on things. And honestly, whatever we say, just what are those words you're supposed to say? Just words. A bludgedly. Yeah. Yeah. Everything's a bludged and stuff. Oh, absolutely. Anything. We need a disclaimer maybe at the end of the pod that says, "Maul Stix and Maul Stix don't know much." So... Disclaimer. Maul Stix. Yes. All right, languages. Here we go. All right. "Billboards 2022 album of the Year" was a Spanish language hit by "Witch Rapper." Chelsea? Libby loves him. Can I go? Yeah. Bad bunny? That is correct. Oh, let's go. I didn't even hear anything but the last words. Maybe that's what I need to do every time. Good job, ladies. All right, last one. Here we go. Come on. Get this. Get it. Languages. Languages. Here we go. All right. What is the Spanish word for money? Mulah. Nappy. De Naro. De Naro is correct. Oh, looks good. Mulah. I'm so mad at you, right? I think I almost said Mulah, but I'm like, "No, that's not it." I think we just say, "Give me your Mulah." Oh, God. I think it was Mulah. Maybe that's like Hawaiian. You're so serious. You're serious. Dude, that's out of control. Mulah. What we got to look it up. Jamie. I think Mulah is just a slang word for money. That's funny. Okay. How do we spell that? M-O-O-L-A. M-U-L-A. Mulah. I'm not going to lie to y'all. I feel so dumb right now for saying that. I'm serious. And you know how they spell it? How? M-O-O-L-A-H is a slang term. That means money. Wow. When you don't have enough Mulah to buy a car, you may have to work and save for a while. Wow. Well, if that goes to show how dumb I am, it's all up, it's all up, it's all up, it's all up. We are not doing a good thing. We need to do better. Yeah. One more thing. Let's do a couple more. Just false. To redeem yourself. Cow. This is bad. Capitalized. Capitalized. Capitalized. Oh no. I love capitals. What is the state capital of Alabama? M-Mobile. M-Mobile. Montgomery. Montgomery is correct. Boom. Yeah. Okay. I'm kind of spicing up. Double kill. Double kill. I'm not going to lie, I was with you. I thought it was mobile. What's mobile? Mobile. That's a non-mobile. Yeah. Mobile. T-Mobile. Mobile. What is it? It's mobile. Isn't it mobile? Mobile. Where's that? Mobile, Alabama. Oh. All right, the world and shit. Here we go. The civilization built the city of Machu Picchu. What that? Oh, I know this. Let's say it again. What ancient civilization built the city of Machu Picchu? And I'm sorry, I can't pronounce that one. Frank, is it like Egypt or New Mexico? Shoot. It's an empire. What empire basically? I don't even know what you're talking about. The Roman? Mm-mm. Dude, I just heard about this. What is this? Starts with an eye. The mouse deep empire. The ikis. The mochi. The ikis. The ikis. The ikis. The ikis. The ikis. The ikis. The ikis. The ikis. The ikis. The ikis. The ikis. The ikis. The ikis. The ikis. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh. Is that Greg? Is that Cookie? Yeah. Cookie white coming in this door? He's just bringing people in as we're filming the pod. Yes. Are they still in here? Yeah. And there's a little sub-dog. Kevin. Kevin. Oh, my God. Sit. Sit. Come here. Greg's having something. Don't be outside. You come here, baby. Mochi. Come here, baby. Mochi. Hey, give them their little mochi. Sorry about that. Sorry about that, everybody. Okay. Are you ready for the answer? Yes. The answer is the ikis. The ikis. The ikis. The ikis. I knew that. Were they coming out of? I didn't. Hey, mochi. Yeah. Shh. Shh. Mochi ik. Shh. Mochi borks a lot. Shh. Shh. Shh. It's this fat one. So mad at Greg. Why'd he do that? We need to put a little do not disturb TVP filming. Mochi. A lot. You know how in Full House when Uncle Jesse was recording, he had a... He had a... A lot. Yeah. We needed that outside the door. We knew we were in here. He likes the attention. He took him into the garage. What? I wonder what they were doing. He's fucking on there. What? What if they were fucking... The other and their fucking... Go check on them. What if they were? That's good. They already left. That was quick. Yeah. That was quick. Now Greg's having something dug out for elliptical and the other trench. The trench. A trench right by the door out here so it might get loud soon. I mean, whatever, but don't come in here. But it's actually that guy's name's dog and Greg's just digging his ass. That guy was probably like, "What the hell are they doing in here? Can you imagine?" What the hell are they? Your same old six, old eight, fifty times and watch all these cameras. And then fifty dogs from running at you? That's the thing, the dog. I know. Because when a dog comes running at you, you're just thinking, "Are my ankles about ready to get a little snips?" Sweaters! Right. Is this a little shredder about your shreds? Sweaters! I'm sure it ends up my ankles. All right. Should we open up a can? Yeah. Little hungry. Are you hungry? Can a whoop out. Maggie. We're all that beautiful bean footage. Hey, honey. Food lover here. Got a quick question for you because I love when you talk about food. What is the last meal that each of you ate and what did you like about it and what would you do differently? The last meal that I ate was some homemade kale pesto with noodles. And I put in some spicy chicken sausage in there that I got from Whole Foods. Oh, it's so fucking good. If I had to do it again, I honestly probably wouldn't do much different. I might add some more liquid in the pesto as a little chunky. And the next meal I'm going to eat is a pepperoni pizza. Let me know. Love you all so much. Oh, yeah. People love food talk because we've gotten that before. People will call in and go, we love when you tell us where you're going to eat or what you were eating. People love food talk. They love food. Food. They love watching people eat cooking videos, including myself. I love watching people eat and getting dinner ideas. And I'm always looking up recipes. Yeah. I don't like when people don't put the ingredients, you know, they'll just be pouring stuff in a bowl thinking, I know what those little green leaves are and stuff. Yeah. Show the ingredients. Well, what's the last thing y'all ate and I guess we'll go around and talk about it. Yeah. Mm. I made homemade cauliflower tacos. Sounds good. What was on them? Cauliflower with a buffalo brown sugar type of sauce concoction. And I got the recipe from wingers. Okay. They put it on chicken, typically, but I put it on the cauliflower. It's real good. And then I put rice on the side. I do some beans. I do, uh, I did lettuce wraps the other day. Sometimes I'll do a flour tortilla. Would you do something different next time? Guacamole. No, they hit, they hit every time. I did forget avocado though. Okay. Good one. Maggie, what's the last meal? What's the last time you ate meal? The last meal I ate was spaghetti and, uh, I put a little bit too much garlic powder in there and it kind of ruined it for me, but the kids still ate it, but I didn't say anything. They thought it was the best thing they ever ate. Very fun. It's been nice. Yeah. It's so good though. So it was almost, um, not edible. Whoa. Why were you? Why'd you put so much in there? I don't know. I didn't realize I did. I think it was a, maybe the brand I got. Damn. It was strong. Okay. So, okay. Yeah, I just won't be that next time. Cooking's hard. I never knew there's fricking 17 different types of vinegars and 17 different. Oh yeah. Dude, I need a cooking class either from you or somebody. We should go to one cause I would like that too. That'd be fun. You know what sounds hard. Me and Maggie are going to go do a mug bang later. You know what sounds good? What? Like Captain D's. I'm always down for that. And I've only, I haven't done one of those in a while. Like fish sticks or chicken or like this. Let's do it. That sounds good. Yeah, it does. Captain D's. No. Captain D's. No. Yeah. Last meal I had was we went, me and Greg went and had a Mexican last night. And it was good because I love having like chips and salsa with like a sweet Dr. Pepper. Like a big ice cold Dr. Pepper with chips and salsa. That crispy burn. And me and Greg split like this, this taco plate. And would I change anything? No. No. You wish you were there again? No. Matter of fact, I saw a commercial for, for, uh, Papa John's have a new, uh, New York style pizza out. It looked so good. Ooh. Thick crust. Thin. Oh, okay. Good. Thin crust is better to me. I like the thin better too. Dude. Porter of Finos. I just, we almost went to Chicago. I know. And, uh, but then the trip would, yeah, let's tell them. Well, there's just, there's this restaurant called Porter Fino in Chicago and they have pizza. And we, we've ate there one time. We got pizza to go and it was a pepperoni pizza with like strawberry glaze, honey, like a honey strawberry glaze on top of it. We, that was been, that's been well over a year. And we still talk about it. Yeah. And I, I've said, I don't like pizza that much and I even almost booked a whole trip. We almost booked the trip and then me and Chelsea are texting. We're like, dude, it's like four grand. We're like, is Porter Fino's really worth going to Chicago for that? No, because the flights were expensive. Every hotel we looked at was like super expensive. Airbnb's were everything. It was like a day drive. We should do it in a day drive. Yeah. That would be. Just go and then come back. Yes. And then we could like. Or even go camp out. How far is Chicago? It's, it's not, it's, we could do it in a day. We've driven there. It's like four hours, five hours, seven hours, seven, oh, seven, that's an overnighter. Let's go camp a motel, six camp motel sticks motel sticks, you're in the camper back. Mm hmm. You couldn't, you couldn't park it and we could get close in the noober into the city. But I love eating. Yeah. Um, food. Dude, it's so good. Eating is life because we would die without it. Well, true. But it's also just fun. It's so exciting. And I was thinking the other day, what really excites me besides that? I guess a lot of little things do, but eating is number one. You love eating. The taste buds and good concoctions. Mm hmm. Page, big eater over here. Mm hmm. You love eating. I love flavors, love flavors. How about you eat my ass? Well, she has. Yeah. Two times. Two? Twice. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Twashed. Mm hmm. Twashed. I need to get a little marker. Yeah. Well, if you all watched Slits Only, you'd know that. Mm hmm. You'd know. Yeah. Cause she didn't live on Slits Only. Dude, I can't believe I did that. You did. When are you gonna lick somebody's? I don't see her ever doing it. Really? Oh my. Whoa. You do it. Maybe on tors. Brets. Brets. Maybe on tour. I will say this, if you're gonna eat anybody's ass or lick anybody's ass, Brett's the one to do it cause he keeps that clean. Oh, dude, he stays wiping. I have people messaging me saying that they call, um, every time they go to the bathroom they say I'm gonna go Brett because that means the freshen up their asshole. Yeah. I'm gonna go Brett. Yeah. How much he wipes his asshole, has people naming that after him? That's insane. Man. But it's almost so clean, it's raw and has that little bacon lit. Stop. Raw skin. Brett wipes his ass so much that he grew pussy lips and I don't... He did. Wait, is he wiping with hard dry toilet paper or is he using like, dude wipes every time? I think both. He's bedaying. Now. Okay. But he's been bedaying for, hmm, probably like, seven months. Ever since we got that Tushie sponsor. Well, he's clean. He's clean. He's the one to lick. I bet that's... Yeah. He's the one to lick. I don't, I'm not gonna do it, but if we run out of ideas for slits only and I need to lick an asshole for content, I'll do it. I think you should. Wait, what bill did Brett not pay? Water. Dude. Do you think when I was gone in California, he was just bedaying for ten days straight? Maybe. Bill. Start calling Brett Bill because he forgot to pay the water bill for a year. So that's the whole thing. And then when I was at a town, the bill was like $700 and from that week, he was probably bedaying. And left it on. Yeah. And the thing is you had company that week. It got shut off of all weeks and they couldn't share nothing. But that, yeah, that was like month after, yeah, whatever. Anyway. Yeah, yeah. But thank you for calling in, honey's. Love food talk. Yes, love you. I don't know what my future meals are. Did he say that? Yeah. I don't know what mom's going to be. I'll probably just have a snack or something and tell me in Maggie Gomukbang. So there's that. We love you. Thank you for calling in. Love you. Mount Shiki. Hey, honey's. I have a girl here, so my husband, one of his best friends, has an uncle that lives in Northern Missouri and he gets paid to impregnate the all-mish. So he does that so they're not in bread. So yeah, he gets paid $500 to impregnate them. The only catches the parents have to watch so that the girls parents have to watch. So I don't know if he gets the $500 after the deed's done or after he shows that she's pregnant, but I think that's crazy. So yeah, would you guys ever do that? So that's it. Oh, yeah. Ma'am. Oh, wow. Ma'am. That's a... Damn, dude. Ma'am. I have so many questions. I guess they're keeping it safe because the in bread. We need that guy on the pod. And why would they be in bread? Because they're bringing in the guy, so because they don't have any other options, you know, in bread would be fucking my sister or brother. They don't want to bring an outsider in to their whole family. So they're marrying their cousins and stuff. I don't know. Okay. And then paying this dude to get kids so the kids aren't messed up. I don't know. What? They're paying the guy $500 to come and impregnate women. So that, you know, because they don't have any other options to fuck people. But the parents have to watch. I don't... That's the part that gets me. You can't even enjoy it, the one time fucking. Can you... This guy... We need to get him on the pod. Dude. Yes we do. Yeah. I don't. Wild would that be? It's almost like the dad's a cuck and the mom, but creepy. Like where are they sitting? Are you making eye contact with them? Can you imagine this guy's like, "Oh, holy shit, they're gonna... This people are gonna pay me $500 to bang this chick." But the thing is, you gotta look over and see, like... See John. And he still nuts through that. You gotta be a strong man. Or that's your fan, or that's your kink. And also, how did this come about? Did they put an ad in? Craigslist. Were they looking for someone? And... But they're Amish. It's gotta be word of mouth. Yeah, that's true. You can't put an ad in. Hey, we're looking for somebody to come get a Sylvia pregnant. They trek through town and they're wagging. So... And they're like, "Oh, he looks like a big strong man with big, big bull come." "Hey, sir, you think you could come in my sister with our parents in them?" And the mother fucker said yes, and keeps doing it. He's like, "Sorry, I can't hang out this weekend. I gotta go and pregnant, and Amish lady." He's like, "Haup in the wagon." I mean, I'm kind of blown away by this. It's kind of a cool setup. It sounds like he does it a lot. Yeah. Oh, dude. Anytime you have to not 500 here, 500 there, not here, not there. And that's a lot of money. I mean, right? Yeah, I would say horses, though, get a lot more than that. If you're a really... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So basically the horses... If you're a stallion... Yeah, if you're a stallion... But this guy is just a guy they saw at the gas station and offered some money. They're doing the cheap way of... In... Semination. Yeah. Oh, that's the word. Insemination. Yeah. That's cool. Wow. Dang. That is crazy. Can you imagine being like, "Hey, Bob Quidded's job. He's doing it full-time now." I would. Would you? But wait, how many kids does he have? That's the thing. Are they going to 23 and me and later on in life he's going to have 47 kids? Damn, dude. That's wild. I would have to have... I would... First off, I wouldn't do it. And then if I did, I would have to have some sort of written statement saying you can't ever come after me for child support or rights or anything. That's the thing though, what if they don't, but then the kid later on in life is like, I want to know my, my, my, my donor, my peer, my peer about you. And then they come after you and then they're like, dad, please, you came and mom in front of my grandma and grandpa. That'd be crazy. I think I would do it. You think you'd have all these kids though? I don't think I could do it, man. I'd do it once or twice or a little bit extra cash. It trips me out, even surrogates, uh, if they grew a connection and then if they ever think about, I wonder the, uh, just, I don't know, I think that's, I think that's the thing. You can't, you, you have to look at it as you're helping someone and you're as a job. Yeah. But I know they think that, but still I wonder if they also think, I wonder if they look like me. What do they, I don't know, I think I could do, well, usually a surrogate is not your, No, it's not yours. It's not your biological child. Mm hmm. You just carry it. Yeah. So it won't carry any of your features and stuff. Okay. No. Not at all. But it's not your egg or, Mm hmm, mostly, I think. Yeah. But, uh, dang, that's an army one day. Man, they make like a hundred grand. A surrogate. I think so. I don't know. They make a lot. And those guys get in 500 bucks and has to fucking front of the party. That's for five seconds. You can't eat a baby for nine months though. You can pick up anybody at the county fair to come, come. Yeah. Gosh, dude. What if he didn't even know he was going to have to do that in front of the parents until he showed up? And why would the parents want to be in there? I think so. It's not a sexual thing and it's more of a transactional. We want to make sure you're not enjoying it. Top of thing. Like, this is transactional. This is, this is to get pregnant. This is not for enjoyment. Top of thing. What if the girls just got it? Oh, that would be me. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. That would be me. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. That would be us. Oh my God. Oh my God. Stop. Do like my tight little pussy. I'm getting my head. I'm getting my head. I'm getting my head. Oh my God. Oh my God. Wow. Okay. Well, hey, thank you for calling in. If you know, if you are or you know of someone who has a job like this or anything else crazy like this, give us a call. Oh for sure. The phone number is off. What is it? We're going to do it now? No. Okay. We'll do it a minute. We'll do it in a minute. We have one more call. Let's do it. One more call. Let's do it. Let's go. Okay, girls. So I just want to tell you that like I clean Airbnb's like that's what I do. I clean Airbnb's every single fucking day. There's like at least four or five a day that I clean. And a lot of the times it's like 10 new houses a week. Most of the time these most of us leave their YouTube sign in. And I just want you to know that every single time that I see that their YouTube is signed in, I subscribe to the viral podcast. You know, not all heroes were case, but you know, I'm over here fucking. I'm doing that service. Well, I love y'all. And I hope you have a great fucking day. Love you, honey. Yeah, that was very sweet of you to do that because spreader. That's a super spreader. Yeah. At doing work. Imagine we just pop up on your channel. You're like, I never subscribe to these girls. Yeah. Gross. I never subscribe to these ugly bitches unsubscribe. I love that you do that. Thank you for helping us take over the world. Any clouds, good cloud. Even if, you know, it's kind of like having fake followers. Yeah. But well, and we can also, a lot of people assume they can do it on their own take over the world. You can't. You have to have people supporting you behind you being super spreaders. And that's what y'all do. We also need to get to 100,000 followers to get that plaque. Oh, yeah. That YouTube plaque. I think I'll cry if I see that. That's kind of cool. You know, that's a big monumental. Let's put it right here. Yeah. I'm going to get it cemented to the desk. Yeah. I want to put it right here. Along with our JD Power and Associate Award. We got to get another award. Yeah. What other awards could we get maybe? Well, we could get the award for most times. Mulch Dicks. What about the Mortens? Uh huh. Mortens. What are you talking about? Isn't that some big award? Morton? Never heard of that. I mean, neither. That's a steakhouse. Oh. Never heard of that. Molten. No. You said get a Malt Sticks award? We need an award for most times Malt Sticks is set on a podcast because we would win. You think Ed's a little mad at us and that's faster? No. Not even a little bit. He probably don't even know. No. I've texted Ed and told him that we say that we started saying Malt leaky and it's turning stuff and he loves it. He's like, I love that. That's so cool. Okay. Ed is the coolest motherfucker in the world. I know. I just think we have completely to stole his entire vocabulary. No, he doesn't say malt Sticks. He says malt leaky. Yeah, malt leaky. But we also said malt leaky for what, seven months straight and still plop it in. Malt leaky. Malt leaky, malt leaky. We give credit to Ed for that. We have shouted that motherfucker out, dude, if you do not, if you've never seen an Ed Bass Master video, go to YouTube after this and watch an Ed Bass Master video. Mm hmm. Well, I feel like he used to be around more often. Mm hmm. He used to be writing me on Snapchat and, you know, but then he kind of just, he just kind of moat slipped away and I was like, oh shoot is because of we stole malt leaky. No. Okay. Look, I just texted him. I put malt leaky. What's up? Mm hmm. Okay. We need a mona on something one time. Oh, I'd love to get Ed Bass Master on here. Yeah, we got to get him on the side. He doesn't travel much. He, now, he tours and stuff, but like he like traveled to come here just to be on a pod. I think that'd be a, that'd be, we'd have to really get him. That'd be rare. We'd have to promise like him and Greg going fishing or something. Yeah. We'd have to add some more events to the vacation. Yeah. Maybe he could do a stand up and, uh, mow leaky and come over here and say malt leaky. You can say you can mow leaky. Do you see? What? Would you say that? No. He's married, right? Yeah, he is. And his kids. Yeah, you can't say that. I'm not. That was a joke. Malt Stix. Yeah. Malt Stix it in. Malt Stix it in. Malt Stix it in. Malt Stix it in the ass. God, it had Bassmaster. Um, y'all, I'm excited for tour. Um, I know y'all are here in the room. I know everybody listening here is in the room. Um, we hope y'all enjoy it and we're going to have a good time. Yes, we are. Oh my God. Oh, everybody's already saying those clubs don't know what's about to hit them. Yeah. That was my favorite comment on the Facebook. I know, I was reading everything and I was like, oh my God, these people are ready. Yeah. These venues do not know what's about. Oh my God. And then the comments saying everyone's screaming, oh yeah, I'm like, oh no. Fuck me. Oh no. You ready? We're going viral. And Malt Stix and Malt Lix. That's not. Malt Lix Malt Stix. And people are like talking about what they're going to wear and getting rides with each other. Which I love that. I'm like, that's so cool. That is the cool thing. They're reaching out. Some people have an extra ticket and they're offering it to people. Y'all are the best. They're helping. Like if some people couldn't buy tickets, they were helping to share in their tables and stuff. And helping us too. I couldn't get to comments quick enough and people were helping out for sure. So love you guys for that. I think I'm going to switch. I'm definitely going to wear some moo moo's to some shows, obviously. What about the cob, the cob place? What are you talking about? There's like a cob venue. We should wear like some corn on the cob. Corn on the cob outfits. That'd be cool. Yeah. I'm thinking I definitely want to wear some sunglasses like fit, you know, like we do. We'll kind of switch it up. You know? Maybe we'll disappear for one second and run behind the curtain and do a switch up. Have an outfit switch up? Like we're at the Grammys. Like we're hosting the Grammys. Yeah. Stop. Can you imagine? It would come back. It's just another moment. Yeah. What? Oh boy, it's going to be wild. I'm excited. I'm really stoked for it and have your vaginas puffed up with air so you can maybe win this contest. Yeah, I get them. Get them ready for. Yeah. Puffy. What's the rules? I don't know yet. Let's think about that and let's let's let's we'll announce the rules at the shows. No, not for the queef, but like can people come up on the state because I'm so new to all this stuff. We can do anything we want. You can. I don't know if venues were like stripped on like, no, no, we're basically renting the venues. Gaddie. It's our show. All right. We can do anything we want. Cool. And I dare a motherfucker to come say we can't queef. Yeah. Yeah. We dare you to come up and say we can't let seven women queef in your mind. Yeah. Tell me we can't queef. Yeah. Don't forget to order puffs. I already ordered them. Good. Hey, we're ready to go, baby. Okay. Yeah. This ain't no puff daddy event. This is puff queefy. This exactly. Queen Laquefa. Queen Laquefa. Queen Laquefa getting crowned. It's going to be a good time. Love you guys and anything else. I think that's it for this episode. All right. We love y'all. Give us a beautiful call at four, four, two, seven, seven, seven, three, three, three, one. Please remember, you're doing great. You're looking good. And fuck what everybody else thinks. Get ready. Ready. We're going viral. Get ready. Ready. Ready. Ready. Ready. Ready. Ready. Ready. We're going viral. We're going viral. We're going viral. We're going viral. We're going viral. We're going viral. We're going viral. Mow leaky. Mow leaky. Mow leaky. Oh. Fuck. Fix your posture Baba-gah
