LIVIN OUR CRAZY LIFE
FOR THE GIRLS- DATING, LOVE LANGUAGES & RED FLAGS
Hey guys welcome back to live in our crazy life podcast. It's Olivia and Megan And we got our new mics. We spent two hours this morning talking to a man named Allen and Best Buy For weeks actually. Yeah for weeks We've been going to all the tech stores around us and we finally found someone who knows what they're doing So we have microphones although We actually didn't get it figured out there. I just figured it out off the fly right now So I'm feeling pretty impressed with myself Yeah, just look at this we're legit podcasters now, and I hope you can hear this quality Today's episode is for the girls sort of it's um Talking about our experiences being single dating horror stories What we like what we don't like what we expect You know what we want in a first date a little bit of fun a little bit of chitchat So let's get into it. Let me just give you this like hypothetical Yeah, he does pick you up. Okay, good, but You know, it's not like he's walking to your door to pick you up He's just like in his car and oh and says come down. That's a thing. That's a thing for me if I'm going Somewhere, it's you come down and meet me. I I don't know why but I kind of have anxiety to go into a building It's nerve-wracking to go into a building that you don't live in and then Ask the people like only need to go to this Room and buzz up that to me awkward cars like a little nervous like if they're not like outside right They're just waiting in their car typing on their phone I don't care to have the door open. I actually don't care about that but like come outside and greet me Right come and greet me because it's just kind of weird Like I don't want to just like get in and you're just like staring at me and then it's like hey, hey While you're typing on your phone all nonchalant. No, I don't really like that So yeah, I prefer if you come down to meet me or if we're meeting at a restaurant or something like that. I'm not going into the restaurant and Meet it meeting you at the table. Like that's your first date. You know, it's like your first impression Exactly. So okay, so you're so come out and meet me He's there in his car, but it's not coming out. So already immediately. It's a little thing. Yeah, it's noticed Okay, so then he gets in the car, you know like No music. It's like just dead side No, if he doesn't offer me to pick the music or say like Oh, I have a song. I think you might like that's noted. That's not important, but it's noted I'm not trying to be picky, but I'm single and I've been single because I don't want to be in a relationship for no reason So for me, it's just little things. It's little things that show that you care about me because I Sort of care about those things, you know, okay So he's taking you and he ends up at what would you think of first? Do you think a date is like fast food? For me, no, but I mean if it's all that's in your budget. I understand like I'm not judging you I just think that I would rather do something that's not fast food than I would rather go for a hike or I would rather You know do something. I'm all for doing free things, but But fast food for me is not a date. I also don't eat fast food So that shows that you don't you don't know. No, I wouldn't want him to pull up to Wendy's I don't eat Wendy's so I would sit there and I would watch you you Wendy's and that would be pretty awkward So it just shows you don't know anything about me. So yeah, I also think a nice first date is Is it doesn't have to be food the first date came about exactly to it does depend. I don't do I'm not doing online dating No, I will never do online. I'm not that it's just not like I meet you out of like wherever I meet you It's like you asked me to go on a date, but like I swear like some people don't ask to go on a date They just say like let's do something Which I mean sometimes they could maybe they're nervous or whatever But the thing is is that you need to tell me because are we friends or is this supposed to be more than friends because if you Want to go to the aquarium as friends? I'm all for it but then you know I'm dressing Differently than I would if it was a date and I would behave differently than if it's a date So just let me know if it's friends or you know If you have a different interest in me because the way that I behave completely bases off that and some people I'm not interested in being friends with you because I'm attracted to you So I don't want to be a friend. I want to be more Some things though is like I'm all for like the fancy date, but I also like a chill date Yeah, yeah, like a chill or just like we just go do something fun You know yeah, it doesn't always need to be the most no no a lot of people put pressure and they think it has to be Not a fancy date in my life. Oh really? No, really just get I don't know I've seen I already know that Well, I've never like gotten dressed up in like in like the most elegant type of love guys Someone take her out someone take her out because And by that I mean I don't I don't have a boyfriend. I'm just off the streets. Yeah, I say my don't have a boyfriend But I'm off the street No, I'm willing to on dates because for me. It's the opportunities always open I don't know people and honestly if I meet someone it's not everybody not everybody if you ask me I'm not just automatically agreeing to a date, but if I met you and you know we kind of Kind of have a vibe then I would be down to go on a date with you even though it's not what I'm looking for Specifically I you know I'm all for a good time. I'm meaning people. I don't know Yeah, I think it's really nice when somebody you know messages you and they say I'll pick you up at this time Where this let's go and you get picked up having it all plans out I love it when a guy says like we're doing this this and this Thank you because that takes it off of my plate. I don't know where I want to go I don't know what I want to eat. That's for you to figure out and for me to look pretty It doesn't have to be this whole big thing But when someone has it plan out shows that they took the initiative to look into things and get it sorted out So that it's not on you. You know what I mean? It just shows more organization for me It shows that you have some authority in your life That's especially for the first day after that like if you want to go on other dates Then we can like you know as you get to know each other Like I'm talking like this is just like a first date. Yeah. Yeah, yeah The worst date I've ever been on was This guy that I met on the road He just came up to me and asked me out and I thought you know what sure, you know a little bit of Being spontaneous so I agreed to go out on the state and mind you I was vegetarian for two years at this point and I told him I was vegetarian. I I Didn't choose a place. He chose a place. He said okay. I have it all organized I picked out a place, you know meet me at this place which number one Flag I should have known because on a first day I do like to be either picked up or send a car for me Not always necessary, but it's nice Send a car for me send a car for me. I'm sorry No because the thing is is I would never have said that before but now I've met people in my life that Have my best interest at heart. So if you are not coming to pick me up You know it takes time for me to get ready and timing is like a stressor thing So you know send a car for me if you're not able to pick me up send a car, but anyways so I got to the state on my own and I met this guy and it's a steakhouse that I met him at and Immediately, I'm looking around and I'm thinking why are we at a steakhouse? I'm vegetarian and We get to the steakhouse. We sit down and we're chatting and he's On his phone for the most part It's just a little bit awkward and I look at the menu and I'm like I make a joke I'm like oh, huh. Why would you take me here? I'm vegetarian like what am I supposed to get and he goes? Oh, they have a side of green beans for you to get and I'm thinking a side of green beans because this place puts bacon bits in the mashed potatoes and you can't even it's not an option to not have Bacon in the mashed potatoes. This is a specific steakhouse and I'm So that's what I do. I order a side of green beans on the state and he It was just very awkward and the entire time he's Talking about you know his ex-girlfriends and himself and it was just very awkward and then at the end he goes Oh, you know Do you want to come back to my place and I'm thinking absolutely not like number one? I have zero interest in you just based off of your behavior and your in consideration of me Second of all absolutely not. That's just not the type of person. I am I'm not going back to your place on the first date and third of all So I had to come here on my own and you had to come here on your own separately and then you want to leave together No, I'll be leaving separately just the way I came so no that to me is the worst date because that was just disgusting behavior Green beans is crazy Saying it's like a side of green beans - I'm just vegetarian Vegan maybe you need a specialty restaurant. Maybe whatever right you more thought into it vegetarian literally anywhere You could have gone to Italian. We could have gone to tie we could have gone to anything But instead you literally chose a steakhouse so Now I'd be happy to do that. I love steak steaks like my favorite food But no, that's weird What's yours? What's your craziest date story? I had planned the state because it was for their birthday which is you know, that's fine. I'm all okay for planning dates if it's for like a special occasion and The whole night so we get in we got on the train we go to Toronto the places picked out. We're at the place He orders duck. I don't eat duck, but okay like peeking duck I don't know what it was. It was like this like mmm small dish of duck and I got Details aren't important. Whatever, but what did but what did you get? Okay? She got something probably good and the whole entire time this Guy was on his phone texting other woman's responses to his birthday like Like they were wishing him happy birthday, which is fine But not on the date not on the day I planned it at this like five-star restaurant They're super expensive and by the way, like I'm in high school I am not like rich over here. Yeah. No, and you're on your phone on snapchat answering woman's things And I said something God forbid I said something and I am the one that isn't the wrong because I was I all I said Was like oh, you can you like get off the phone like we we had Like a whole fight that night like we it was so bad like it was really really bad but my dude, this is like I was dating him so like I had every right to be like upset and Yeah, we almost broke up that night actually Toronto he was like gonna get on the train back home and I was just standing there crying and I was like because like why are you messaging people When I plan this date for you on your birthday and you're messaging what girls back and like and oh and by the way Like it wasn't just messaging like I found out that he was like snapping this girl and like No, see no, no, absolutely No, but like it's like why are you snapping other woman when number one when you're right there But also you're dating and you're you took him on a date for his birthday But that's the thing though guys on their phone on a date No, that's a big no for me because I'm sitting right here. I'd rather talk to you That's why I agreed to go on a date or that's why I met with you But I understand that business, you know comes first and business can be very important But no if you're not even doing business and you're just sitting there on your phone It's it makes me feel so stupid because like wow you would rather be anywhere, but with me, you know That makes me feel so stupid. I don't like that. I never go on my phone. No When I'm with people I want to be in their presence. I want to be with you. Yeah, no quality time here So what's your what's your love language? Oh? my love language is Mmm probably what are they probably acts of service or it's about formation. Oh all of them Whatever you just said gift giving is also Quality time. Oh, I think my love language is all of them. I don't know if I'm allowed to pick all Probably what do you what do you like and then what do you what do you give like what is what you're giving? Okay, what do you like to receive? I like to receive. Oh, but I like to receive it all cuz Maybe I'll go first. Yeah, you go first for me I Just oh, I just want to say that I actually hate touch. I don't and in fact like but but you like it from the right person I I Actually hate being touched in public like don't touch me in public don't hold my hand. I'm like There's a disclaimer though, but one second. I don't like touch in my whole relationship I just didn't I don't like touch in public. Also, if we're gonna be in the same bed Don't touch me like I like to be sprawled out and like if you're like it's just like claustrophobic It's like just stay away from me But I will say there was one guy in my life so far that I did like physical touch for them in public And I don't know what was happening to me because that doesn't happen to me What happened to you is it was the right person behaving in the right way and when it's the right person. It's like Have yet to experience that so okay, yeah, not to take a sad turn, but I'm just saying I think maybe right now I think what I like to do a gift giving or whatever not gift giving like Access service like doing stuff for them to make them feel what was yours, but what do you like getting physical touch? This is okay for me. I like getting okay, I don't really know because as we all know my last relationship was Rocky, so I don't really have anything to base it off of but I feel like no, I know what I like I like someone You know, I like physical touch, but I also like someone that I like acts of service. I like when someone can Make your life a little bit easier if that makes sense I already have to do a lot of stuff on my own and I'm hyper independent So I like somebody that can kind of sense that and just take some things off my plate or help me out with things You know, it's not Because to me that shows a lot of care towards me It shows that you have appreciation for me you understand kind of everything that I carry and that you can you want to Make it easier, but also just be able to you know provide for me in a specific way not necessary, you know I don't know, I just that is the language is I I like someone that does it all like I like words of affirmation to probably like I want to be told that I'm pretty I I like To feel vulnerable around you and what I mean by that is that like I'm always like being strong and like just going through it what right like just living day to day But like I want to be able to like feel like still around you and like peace exactly exactly exactly like I'm just like That's what I spoke to a couple people recently a couple people about this and Because I got into a conversation with somebody and they said, you know What what do girls offer in a relationship because guys offer, you know guys offer money guys offer You know time they offer they provide for you all of this what do girls offer other than you know Your body and sex and I literally looked at him and I was like Wow, tell me you're a woman hater without telling me But no, what I thought was that's crazy because the thing that I think Women offer the best thing that you can offer a man is peace, right? So if men You know are responsible for all of this taking care of this taking care of that providing this providing that and they have busy lives Then what you provide is their downtime you provide their piece you provide them a safe space where they get to be vulnerable They get to take a break from all the outside stuff It's crazy because men will not open up because women actually use the stuff that they open up about like to their advantage like in fights or like stuff and that's why men will not open up and like I Feel for them like they are scared to open up to you because of like Woman, but I wouldn't I would never do that like if someone's trusting to open up to me like Never ever use that against somebody like that's crazy. No and same goes the way don't use what I tell you against me That's a really shitty thing to do But anyways, I also think women offer. I mean we offer Everything that a man can offer as well. It depends on the type of woman Exactly Not a woman capable of a relationship then no she's not gonna offer you any no then she'll waste your time and same with the guy if they're not Capable of doing anything they waste your time, you know waste your potential They hold you back from getting where you want to be and it's just like a cycle, right? So it's who you are and who you're with, you know what you can benefit from each other Exactly you both need to be able to just you know, you need to both be able to like be there for each other for work wise but also be there for each other for the downtime and support each other and like I Also realized that like I actually do like to feel like special and yes I didn't even think about this like in like before but like now like I want to like I like to feel special Like yes, I want to feel loved. Yeah, I want to feel special. I want to feel loved Also, I do I want you to call me pretty or you know, I want you to You know take initiative and do things because that's how women feel appreciate it Before we talk about dates. I want to tell you I want to tell you I love okay I don't know if it's just me but guys Like don't ever say like your first name like no one will ever live yet And like everyone like like baby Mummy, I fucking hate mommy's don't ever call me that but all these things and if you say my name to me Just yeah, I'm just like pass out like Feel so special like when you say my name and like it's like if I'm not in paying attention It's just like out of nowhere. Oh, yeah, you just say it and I just look at you and then we just have that eye contact It's like Mm-hmm. Oh, I like my no, I do not like mommy. I do not like mama's for me. That's very uh It's like gross. Yeah, it's very like high school to me for me Ooh the little what do they call pet names? What are they called nicknames? I don't know. I like just my regular name, but I also I don't know. It's different from certain people. Okay. I don't princess Um, I don't really want like I don't know like baby babies like really generic and like everyone But like I don't want poopy No, I think it depends on the person like I want the guy to just say it and then it just sits right or it doesn't sit right and you know And then it just is fine, too It's so funny to me that usually we talk about, you know serious things and then we're coming on here today Date this date that boys this it's so funny to me because this is just another side to us, you know But it doesn't come out that often so today it's come out in full play and I think it's It's really interesting Something I heard talked about a lot is body count Do you think Do you think it's important like if a guy asked you your body count? Do you think it's important to tell them? This also it makes sin with like do you talk about x's and stuff? Yeah, and For me, no, I actually don't want to know how many women you've something right? I don't want to know business because that doesn't It doesn't reflect you For relationship wise like sure, I'll tell you who I've been with You don't need to know the person because that's like I just I feel like some things you don't need to know like in deep But yeah, I'll tell you how long the relationship was. I'll let you know what like why it ended And you know, that's it. That's about it. But that's if I trust you to tell you that that's again going up to like opening up to you It just depends how you are, you know I personally don't need to know how many people you've slept with because it's not a reflection of who you are or What you want going forward? So I don't I don't want to know and you honestly shouldn't care about Mine either. I just think it's a very shallow way of thinking It's also like though like if we're starting something here the two of us and it's you know May go into a relationship or something. It's like If you haven't done anything I'm going to trust you until you prove that I can't trust you, you know, and like I'm not gonna because you've you've stuck with abc whatever like Let that take anything because that doesn't really you know, I do believe that if a Guy actually likes you or a woman actually likes you then Doesn't matter who was in their past exactly you and you know, and exactly How I look at it, and what about you think it's important to tell someone if you have an std Wait go get tested. Sorry go get tested everybody that goes to say also like if I am with you and an intimate level like that you I don't want to think about you seeing with other people, but like I mean like we're not I guess it's your life. You can do what you want, but like But also I think to a certain extent But you should also know by knowing us that we're just not the type to do that So if that's your type, you could just steer clear because that's not that's not our type So that's not what I want. That's yeah, I don't want to be with someone Absolutely, not I will need to be staying away from you It's just kind of like a sucky feeling, you know, like I don't need to be number five on your list that you're No, no, no, no, he has a monday tuesday wednesday You're the thursday and then there's a friday saturday sunday for me That's gonna be no i'm not gonna be doing that because i also i also don't just i think that sleeping around for me That's just not something i choose to do it's not so lightly i don't do that and like You know like if you want to do that sure, but i'll just i'll be out over here. Thank you I also think intentions are important to Be communicated. Okay, because when you're just dating, you know, it's all light and fluffy you're getting to know each other and stuff, but your intention I can kind of sense it and i would just like to be told what your intention is because if you just want to waste my time That's Not really what i like and if you just want to get laid then just tell me that so that i can just leave you know, I I think that women don't have self-respect for themselves because You know, they might do something sexual with you on like the first time they're seeing you But it's also like for a woman's point of view and i'm not saying either of us do this I don't but i just want to say like for a woman to stand up for them like There's like a pressure that like you won't talk to them if you don't give something sexual to them Yeah, no seeing them and i'm not saying that like You know, then I know Men will fight and say like, oh, then it's not a real man, you know, but it's like That's what it kind of is, you know That's like in high school and people pressure you to send nudes and all this night It's a very shallow thing and it shouldn't be but it does exist certain women do feel pressured to Do things they're not necessarily comfortable with women attach I think faster than men also though Women are just a way more emotional than men that's we are everyone knows that but also Men are still able to have their friends and work and in everything in their life And that is why a woman will like hurt instantly after a heartbreak because it's not that they let go of certain things But it's like you're there everything and like you're all consuming in their head at all times and like They don't know what happened after like you've left their life, but for a guy It's like they still like you and they're still attached to you, but it's like It's not they men just move their whole world their whole world doesn't just follow them men just move differently They're not as emotional and you're right all I have to say is that I only need to have like one to two conversations with you to know if like Your head is where like If you're solid enough for me to want to have a relationship with you, I completely agree because I think we're both highly sensitive people and we can kind of Feel the vibe out from people and I know whether or not I want you in my life or not And that's the thing though when when you're around a certain man that can make you Feel vulnerable and make you feel Completely yourself around them right off the bat too. That's a crazy thing because it doesn't it never happens It's so rare and it sucks when those things don't work out but You know for those little moments you just have to be grateful that they happen because it showed you that it's possible and that You know that exists to have such a deep connection with people Right off the bat is an amazing thing Also, if you want to know if you guys are meant to be going vacation together That is the best way to know if you guys will last The best way It's true. They always said that growing up they're always I don't know who's they who's they who always said that but no I heard that I've heard that so many times that just travel with someone and you will know You will know right away if you want to be with them or not. That is so true. Okay. I think it is so romantic We were talking about this it is so romantic to go on a trip with a man and You know, you lay up all day and you just it's that feeling where you just can't keep your hands off each other And then you go get ready for dinners together and they wear their little button ups and you put on your dress And you go for dinner and you go and you have your drink and you You know, do whatever and then you go back to the room at night and for me that's You don't want the sunrise and sunset and like just stare in their eyes and like talk I love how this is completely imagined from our heads because neither of us have ever done this but Listen, the idea the premise of this Sounds amazing. We were actually at the airport a couple weeks ago And we saw this couple and they were screaming at each other like screaming screaming screaming at each other So bad. Yeah, so bad. No, it was bad and they were huffing and puffing. She's like, I'm leaving He's yeah, she was crying. He was distressed. He was pulling his hair out all of this and we're just watching them Like that is not ever what you guys are not making it through this trip but also like Oh, like it's just like When it comes to a relationship for me, there's just so many things that It has to be and not be like I cannot like You just need to be on the mature level and same with me Like it just can't I don't it needs to be like light and like obviously there's like serious moments and like You know, like people fight. That's inevitable But like I mean like I just needed to be like you add on to my life And I ought on to yours and like light and fun and like when I'm around you like I can breathe You know fresh air and it's like, you know, you also like care about me and like want to talk about You know, it's not just like all like surface level chats. It's like we actually talk on a deeper level like I think that's just important for me. The sexual chemistry with your partner is So important. I think you can have a really Emotional connection with someone So Deeply so great and everything but I think there has to be attraction there because you know, if I don't want to be If I don't want to be touched by you We're just we're just friends It starts off with attraction. That's the thing. That's how it starts is initial attraction like I And it's not just physical like it's the way you carry yourself. It's the way you talk. It's the way It is, you know, also physical attraction I like confidence in a guy. Yeah confidence is a huge thing not cocky Not cocky, but there's this certain thing that I find so attracted that I never really thought about before and you never You never notice it until you think about it, but it's just there either the guy has it or doesn't have it just this like It's just this notch a lot thing where everything just works them I don't know how to explain it, but we've talked about this so many times when they're driving they just Pull into a parking spot. They just pull right in. It's always right there for them when they're Grocery shopping they get every single thing they need. There's never out of an ingredient. They're never out of anything. What's another example? I don't know Everything when a guy just they just do things. They just walk around and they just do things and things just work for them I don't know how to explain that, but you know for example They're driving and where you might have to circle the block 10 20 times to find a parking spot for some reason the first time they pull around there's a spot and they just pull right in You know what I mean that to me. I don't know what that is Called or what that is but just I don't know Do you have a type? I don't have necessarily a physical type that I'm so attracted. I'm sorry you do need to be taller than me Yeah, I do like someone that is taller than me honestly six foot and above is like ideal and I don't even mean to be like, you know, if you're 5'10 No, like you do need to be taller than me. I hate super Yeah, no, I do like someone a little bit taller. Glee all man. That is just like so masculine. I sorry I know you're talking about your type, but I just have to throw it in like you need to be so masculine physical wise, you know, I don't have Six foot three curly hair brown eyes Where's this where's that but to an extent? Yeah, I'm not into skinny jeans. I do like a bag year or more Not even necessarily street style, but just a more baggy or fit Something it doesn't even have to be that baggy. I have like a nice style a nice a nice style for me fashion Does make a difference because I also like men like have like scents, but their scents always stay on them I know men's perfume. You have to have a scent. You have to have a nice cologne because that is just so sexy When you're taller than me and I have to look up to you like this When you like are just so strong Yeah, so my type my type is a masculine man that that is a man like just a masculine I don't really have a type Yeah, we don't have a specific type, but I just I just know if I like you I know if I'm attracted to you off the bat It just is like that Um, I don't have a specific type, but I definitely prefer certain attributes and I Yeah I don't know I don't know if I like to be much about me, but I mean Here I am, but I mean we have a podcast. All we do is yap yap yap yap on the internet. Yeah Also, just let us know what you think about You know topics like this if you want to see more of this or Lots of ideas like what do you want to like see us talk about? I'm so happy about these microphones. I know I hope that the auto audio quality is so much crisper And the video quality is better too. I cannot wait to get this edited watch it. We're gonna be so good Yes, this has been hours And when we said last week that we had to fight with amazon for four chords Times that by two because it's been another week and we also had to fight for four more chords I think that about covers it all we talked about worst a it's our type Sex All the things I'm celibate too Now let's just let me just throw that in there I know that's like kind of like a lot to like jump at you, but you know, it is my podcast, so I'm taking a chill. I'm being celibate now. That's that anyways Thank you guys for watching this week's podcast episode like I hope you had like a snack with you a watch What snack what snack would you choose if you're watching this? I don't really like I'm not really a snack or I kind of just like food. Oh, yeah, but food a snack too Yeah, like I mean like I'm like a food eater. Yeah, I'm not like a chip. I'm not eating chips. I'm not eating popcorn I want like I want a sandwich or I want a bowl of pasta or I want something good something. Yeah, so That's what I would do that. Yeah, that's what I would do too. Obviously Thank you for watching. See you next Wednesday. Bye - Bye. - Bye.
yayy we got new mic’s!!!
This week we look back on our dating horror stories, love languages, red flags, sex & being single in your 20’s. Grab a snack & get your notepads out because we’re covering it all.