The Season of Self Love
From Victim to Victor: Embracing Your Power with Debbie Weiss
Welcome to another empowering episode of The Season of Self-Love podcast with your host, Nyomi Banks. In this transformative conversation, we are joined by the inspiring Debbie Weiss, author, entrepreneur, and advocate for self-empowerment. Debbie shares her incredible journey of overcoming life's challenges, from infertility and personal loss to body image struggles. Through it all, she has transformed her mindset from victim to victor, embracing her power and living her truth.In this episode, we explore the pivotal moments in Debbie's life that helped her reclaim her inner strength and shift her perspective. We dive into self-care practices, journaling, and the journey of healing from within. Debbie's story is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit, and her wisdom will inspire you to step into your own power.Key Topics:
- Moving beyond a victim mentality and embracing self-love
- Overcoming personal challenges, including infertility and body image issues
- The power of journaling and self-reflection for personal growth
- Healing through betrayal—both from others and from within
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-season-of-self-love--6003379/support.
- Broadcast on:
- 19 Sep 2024
- Audio Format:
- other
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I am your host, Naomi Banks, and I am thrilled to have you join me on this transformative journey. You see, every day we dive into a powerful conversation about sub-discovery, healing, and empowerment. This podcast is brought to you by Axe Naomi, an Elevate Me self-discovery, where we believe that loving yourself is the first step to living a fulfilling life. You can expect insightful discussions, practical tips, and inspiring stories, plus we occasionally welcome special guests who will share their unique perspectives on self-love and personal work. So get comfy, grab your favorite beverage, and less embark on this journey together. Because it's time to embrace the beautiful person that you love. So let's elevate our lives one episode of time. Now let's get started. All right, my beautiful souls, Ishigori Goddess, Naomi Banks, here on the Season of Suffer Love Podcast. And I want to welcome you and I am so thrilled to have joined me for another enlightening episode. Today we are diving deep into a truly inspiring theme, and it's moving forward, being a circumstances and becoming a victor. All right, today we are going to be joined by an incredible Debbie Watts, excuse me. She's an author, entrepreneur, and a beacon of hope that has transformed our life of challenges into opportunities for growth and empowerment. Before we bring Debbie to the stage, I would like to take a quick break, and then when we return we'll get deep into our conversation, all right? Ishigori Goddess, Naomi Banks, here on the Season of Suffer Love Podcast, and we'll be right back. Hey, my beautiful souls, this is your girl, the Goddess, Naomi Banks, and I am excited to share something special with you, introducing my latest able world book, Killing Beyond The Betrayal, a journey of growth, empowerment, and renewal. In these 55 pages, I offer you insight, heartfelt stories, and practical worksheets, designed to guide you and your humanity, so if you experience betrayal or you are seeking personal awareness, this resource is made just for you. You see, it's time to reclaim your power in a grace-reading world, so you can get your copy by visiting the Season of SufferLovepodcast.com, and as a thank you for being part of our community, use the code HEALDZERONA, and check out to enjoy our 15% discount. So let's embark on this journey together, because you deserve to heal, grow, and thrive. Hey, Ishigori Goddess, Naomi Banks, here from the Season of SufferLove Podcast. These are one of the many amazing conversations that we have every day, Monday through Friday, right here, on the Season of SufferLove Podcast, with myself, Naomi Banks, as well as our resident therapist, Dr. Will Washington Up, Washington Wellness Institute. Thank you for joining us today, and we'll see you in the next one. Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! So let's welcome our amazing guest, Debbie Weis, I am so glad to have you here. Oh, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you so much. Thank you. So Debbie, usually what we do is we do a nice guided meditation before we get into the topic at hand. All right, so my listeners, so before we get into our conversation with Debbie, let's take a moment to just ground ourselves with a short guided meditation, all right? So if you could all get comfortable at this moment and at this time? Find a comfortable position, either sitting or lying down, and gently close your eyes. Now I want you to take a deep breath in through your nose, filling your lungs completely, and I want you to hold your form on it. Now exhale slowly through your mouth, letting go of any kitchen of stress. Now I want you to imagine a warm and soothing light surrounding you, with this light, this light represents love, acceptance, and strength. Allow this light to develop you, fill you your heart with peace and resilience. And with each inhale, draw in positivity, and with each exhale released out. I want you to hold on to this feeling of empowerment as we explore today's topic and when you are ready, gently open your eyes and return to the present moment. All right, my listeners, first I want to thank you all for just sharing this moment with me. And if you're new here to the Season of Sephala podcast, this is something that we do every day, Monday through Friday just to help center us before we get into the topic at hand. So Debbie, your journey is one of incredible transformation, and you face numerous personal challenges from body images issues, from early family responsibilities to infertility and profound loss. So how did these experience shape you to your mindset of feeling like a victim and to stepping into your power as a victor? Yeah, Naomi, I mean, for the first 50 years of my life, I felt like a victim. I felt sorry for myself. I would question all the time, why does all this have to happen to me? It just felt like one thing after another, nothing was easy comparing myself to my friends and family. And you know, just, you know, I'm a good person, I don't get it until when I turned 50, I kind of had an aha moment, something about that age of 50 that made me stop and take a hard look at myself and realize that, you know what, we can't measure, oh, how many things have you had challenges? How many challenges have you had versus me? Like, this is not that kind of game, you'll always find someone who has less, who has more or harder, you know, all of those things. It's about how we handle them and how we look at them. And I was allowing them to dictate the course of my life. And I didn't think that I had a choice. It was just the way it was. And when I realized, no, Deb, you have a hand in this life of yours. That changed everything and that was about a decade ago, because I'm heading towards 61. Oh, wow, you look amazing. Oh, wow. But you know, I do, I totally understand that when you get to that 50, you become that aha moment. I say that is the first book of our lives. So once when I hit 50, that was it. I was closing that first book, and I thanked everyone who was a character in my book, whether they were the villain or the hero, you know, I thanked them for that. And I said, it's time to close this book. I closed some friendships that probably outlived some seasons. And I opened up my new book and now I'm on my second chapter of my second book. And I know exactly what you mean with the aha moment. I was blessed to get there at 40. That's when I started to realize mine at 40. Yeah, at 40 when things start opening up for me. But I love where you're going with this. I guess at 50 years old, when you came to that moment and you came to that realization. And you know how sometimes we have these limited beliefs and hearing heart of this or actually reading part of your story. Do you believe that your environment cannot assist it in that limited beliefs? Oh, for sure. And I didn't realize that, you know, well, first of all, you know, realizing and not that I'm bad mouthing my parents because I'm not, you know, they didn't know, you know, most of the time when we get those limiting beliefs from our childhood and God knows what I've passed on to my own kids, right? Yeah. No, they don't do it on purpose. You know, we're all doing the best that we can. You don't realize the messages that you're sending. But looking back, you know, I understand now my body image issues. And it's certainly that wasn't just my parents. That was everyone around me, especially at that, you know, era of time. And you're right. I could see, you know, if I'm surrounding myself by people who are feeding into that negative mindset, yeah, it just helps me stay there. And really about, I don't even know, three or four years ago now, I was, had been on this journey for a while and I branched out and took a business mastermind. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I wasn't sure what business it was. I do have a full time job like, and I walked into this online world that I never knew existed. And the most amazing part of it is getting to meet people like you. This whole community that you don't even know exists, it's just my computer screen. But it feeds your soul because you find other people who are on the same journey and just bringing those people into my life on a daily basis. Owning a rental property sounds like a dream. Collect a rent and relax. That is, until you realize how much work goes into getting it ready. First, you need to conduct market research to understand local rental trends and determine a competitive rent price, then there's cleaning, staging, repairs, and hiring a professional photographer. 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We've offshored our manufacturing, sent away good jobs, and lost so much ability to make things. American Giant is pushing back against that tide. They make high-quality clothing for a summer wardrobe you'll love. All made right here in the USA. Support America's workers and get 20% off your first order at american-giant.com with code stable20. It keeps me going and inspired and exciting. And so without that, I can feel how I crave that if for some reason I'm not getting those connections. Because you can't always get it from, you know, your friends and family. Yeah. Yeah. You know, that is so true. This morning I was writing in my journal, I was sitting in my altar and I was writing in my journal. And one of the things that I thank for is thank you for putting me in spaces where I feel uncomfortable. Meaning that for all of my life, for 50 years of my life, I've always was surrounded by people that I felt my most comfortable with. That I felt like did not challenge me to go further. You understand what I'm saying? And as you spoke, our parents and loved ones that around us, they live off of fear. We've all, we all live off of fear. You know, and so those limited beliefs that they put on us, that was just a fear of them having not knowing if they're able to protect us or not knowing just period. So I started yesterday, every day I'm starting to put into my journal is that I'm thinking and welcoming to being in those uncomfortable spaces with, you know, because this room right here, even you and I speaking, even being, you know, just able to speak to everybody and interview different people from, it has been amazing to me. It's not like you said, not only like-minded people, but understanding that I can actually see myself and resonate with them in their voice. So I'm able to be bilingual in the language of self-love as we hear, you know? Yeah. Oh, I love that. And uncomfortable, putting yourself in uncomfortable positions, I mean, I think you hit the nail on the head because I was and still am, you know, a fearful person. And especially when you grow up with limiting beliefs of being judged to put yourself out there into an uncomfortable situation, well, I'm going to avoid that or I did avoid that at all costs. And what I found was when I had no choice, when I was forced to be in those uncomfortable positions, that's what made me grow, even though you don't like that feeling. And it's hard to want to jump into that feeling every single time. That's what made me take a leap instead of a step. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, self-love, this is the season of self-love. This is what we talk about. So my thing is fall in love with yourself, fall in love with yourself, embrace every bit, every part of you. With self-love is such a crucial aspect of a personal growth for ourselves and no one can teach you this. They really can't. They really can't. If anything, you give them the tools to have the opportunity to use them for their own growth and their own healing. For you, what are some self-help routines or self-care practices that you do that support your journey to self-love? Let me just say that the whole idea of self-love, it just hits me so hard because I didn't love myself, right? I didn't. And I can honestly say that now I do. I don't need somebody else to love me, right, to give me value. Yeah. But the thing of it is, and I love that this is what your mission is, how the heck do you teach this to other people? I don't want people to have to wait until they're 40, 50, 60, right? But does it come with wisdom? Does it come with experience and age? It's so, so difficult to come up with the formula. For me, it really has been a journey of self-reflection, of becoming curious, right, and things that I would always say, "I don't do that." Like, "I don't journal. I don't meditate." Like, I was so not open to any of that. I mean, gratitude. I thought that was ridiculous. I thought someone made up that woo-woo thing. Of course, I'm grateful for my family, my, you know, what do I have to say that for, until I really started being open-minded and embracing these practices. And it really has made, I'll tell you, for me, and it's so ironic, journaling has changed my life. And I was just looking at a blank piece of paper, like, gave me anxiety. I needed an instruction, "Well, tell me what to do. How long am I supposed to write? What am I supposed to say?" And when I let go of that, and I remember the first time that someone said, "If you don't know what to write, just start writing. I don't know what to write. I don't know what to write." And all of a sudden, you'll be amazed how that changes. Yes. And the very first time that I journaled without any prompts, I was like, "Wait, what happened?" I started talking about this one thing. And I wound up somewhere in Los Angeles that I didn't even know was on my mind. Yes. Right? And you can, I think you really just find out so much about yourself and it doesn't make sense. Why do I have to write it down? Why can't I just think it? But there's something about the process, I'm telling you. So for me, that has really been, I think, the biggest tool of my journey. Yeah. Yeah. Right now, while we're doing this series, I'm doing a 30-day challenge of healing beyond betrayal as the challenge that we're doing right now. And several of the different challenges are writing a letter, whether it's a forgiveness letter to yourself or someone else or just churning in your feelings. The very first day is to write the betrayal, describe what the betrayal is for you to you and describe that and just be raw and uncut with it. And as I am telling them is that when you begin to start writing, there are emotions and feelings and words that you didn't even know that you felt that come out and it feels like you are throwing up and vomiting now, toxic feelings and emotions. And it's, I know it's like, well, can't you say those words for some reason when you look at it on a piece of paper and you read those words, it hits something different. But this is a thing. You can always go back to that page when you feel some type of way, when you have that little trigger. That is what I feel with journaling and sports, so you can always go back to it. From years from now, you can always go back to that moment because these feelings are never going to go away, they've been stuck in us for over 50 years. So at least now you have, you have that part that you can always go back, that's the part of your tool, that writing it, things are part of your tool. So I'm so glad that you come to realize like, yeah, this helps me, you know, writing with me. So my answer is, have you ever had a diary? You know, when I was a little girl, I mean, you know, when they used to sell those cute diaries, I had that little lock on it and stuff. Yeah, I thought that was so adorable. I got a few of those, but I don't think it was, it was never anything that I stuck with. So I had one, but it was not life-changing for me at that point. I just think I wanted it because it was cute and I liked the whole idea and then the novelty wore off a little bit, you know, down the road. All right, so you have a passion for helping others, right? Absolutely. And which is so inspiring, just from my own heart, this is something that I love to do. Could you tell us more about your podcast? Maybe Ken is it maybe, maybe I can, maybe and what, what do you hope your memoirs are? One second thought, maybe I can, will achieve, that is such an amazing title. One second thought, maybe I can't, yes, I love that. It really is, you know, it's my journey. Like I said before, I had an attitude of I can't do this. There were so many reasons why, and it could be something so simple, like, I don't know, I can't, I can't knit, I can't write in a journal, right? I can't, like small things like that. Anytime that anything new, uncomfortable is presented to me, was presented to me, my answer was always no, but I have discovered that if you just wait, like another bee, and say to yourself, well, wait a second, on second thought, why not, why can't I do this? That's when everything changes. And so I want to inspire people to wait that extra second, to be aware when your mind is telling you no, you really examine that, no. Is it really no, you know, I made a maybe I can list, what are all the things that I thought I can't do that, I can't do that, and you know what, I could do it, and I wound up doing it, and I wound up proving myself wrong, because we all have those things that we thought we could never do. And in hindsight, we did it, and sometimes I don't think I, I know I, I don't give myself credit, it's like, okay, good, great, on to the next thing, you know, you forget how you felt prior to taking that leap, right, right. And so I want people to realize that owning a rental property sounds like a dream, collect a rent, and relax. That is, until you realize how much work goes into getting it ready. First, do you need to conduct market research to understand local rental trends and determine a competitive rent price, then there's cleaning, staging, repairs, and hiring a professional photographer. Next, develop a marketing strategy, list the property on rental sites, and schedule a showings. 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I updated my operating system without having to call tech support. Collect your free daily bonus at Chumbah Casino.com now and live the Chumbah life. B.D.W. Group, no purchase necessary. If we were braided by law, it's in terms of conditions, 18 plus. You can. Yeah. Making you can. Yeah. Stop with the "I can't." Take the "I can't" out of your vocabulary. And say "I can." Yeah. That's it. Yeah, "I can." So, let's talk about the "I can't." Mm-hmm. That's what you said, "I can." But when you were saying "I can't," and I want to kind of go on with our series topic where we're talking about it's healing beyond betrayal. And a lot of times, the betrayal doesn't always come from someone else. It always comes. It could come from us first on our betrayal of ourselves. Now, I read somewhere about infertility. Mm-hmm. Is that your infertility or is your infertility? Mm-hmm. And I also heard you, and I just want to, I also heard you say, "Why, well, why me?" Why was these things happening to me, meaning for everybody else, but it wasn't happening for me? In that moment, and this is a question, did you feel like that your body or you will be betraying yourself? Uh, absolutely. I could not understand, you know, like you said, it was, "Oh gosh. Anybody who's ever struggled with infertility?" It seems like everybody else wrote you, too, right? Like everyone else is a rabbit. I didn't want to go outside of my community and see those little kids. My cousin would just look at her husband and they were pregnant three times, you know? They didn't understand what it was like, and then you question yourself, "Did I wait too long?" Right? I think I was, I was in my mid-thirties when I started to try and get pregnant. I shouldn't have waited too long. Oh, I should have started two years, you know, all of the things. And then when we did go through the infertility journey, and yeah, as my husband would have told you, you know, his sperm were stupid. I think they swam in circles, they didn't know how to swim upstream, but that was like the easy part. In the end, it was me. I had prematurely aged eggs. And so it was the quality of my eggs that was causing the issue. If it were just him, it would have been a lot easier solution than it was. So of course then you say, "How could this happen, really?" You know, I had already been through so much prior to that. I couldn't believe that now, you know, I remember hearing a friend going through it and telling me about IVF and the injections, and I'm thinking, "I'm such a sissy. I would never do that," like, "Gosh, hope that'll never happen to me." And yeah, it did, but you know what? There was another example. Maybe I can if I wanted something bad enough. I did everything and anything. Yeah. You know, one thing that we learned about in this series is that a part of our pain in looking through our betrayal is a gift. That's what you're a gift. And even though you were unable to have children of your own, you know, right now, just you going through your journey, going through your challenges and coming out on the other side, it's not only a gift for you and part of your gift, but this is a part of your purpose. Meaning that there are so many different women that's out there in this world that don't understand that. It might not have another voice that they can hear to tell them that, because remember, we are around in the community of people in our intimate circle that can't relate to what that person is speaking about, where you can't. You can't in so many different ways relate to this person, you know, to where it's like what I got through it. And I know it might seem hard right now, but it's truly a gift, because guess what? Remember what I said about me being limited on my beliefs was I read it at 30 years old to bring another child in this world and create them to have limited beliefs. You understand what I'm saying? Like looking at it from a different perspective and say, okay, hold on, well, maybe my child or my infertility is this, it's my book, this is only one of many books. So if you look at each one of your books as a creation of yours and its child of yours, see, that's what it is. I like that. Well, I have to say I was eventually successful. Oh, I do. I went through IVF three times and had a son, beautiful. And then six months later, I started the journey again, and in just six months, my situation had deteriorated considerably, which was amazing. I was 37 when I had my oldest son. And I just have to tell this story a little bit, because I think it's just so special. I went, you know, had my first, so the eggs were the issue, you know, you're supposed to at a certain age produce a certain number of eggs, I could not do that. They will only do the procedure. If you have a minimum number, I don't recall if it was four or five. Whatever it was. And then typically, when you get to the point where they're going to transfer them back, the embryos, even though they're not called that, but usually there's several, right? When I got pregnant with my older son, I think there was four transferred back in and I had one pregnancy. So I, on my, for number two, trying for some child number two, I, you know, had four transferred back, nothing the second time, I never even made it to the procedure because they would not do it because I did not produce enough eggs. And the doctor said to me, we're going to try again. I'm going to give you more medicine than I should. This is it. After this, if you want another child, you know, we'll talk about other ways to make that happen. And in the end, every day that I was waiting to hear, did they fertilize, did they continue to grow? And by the day that it was supposed to be transferred back, there was only one. And of all the six times that I've tried, I tried with three and four and five and never got pregnant. And there was only one. And so I ordered adoption books and was looking into all other things. And Ben is egg number one. I got pregnant with just the one. So he's like, he's like my extra miracle baby. That's beautiful. That is beautiful. Yeah. I always show them a little picture because now, you know, they give you a picture. I'm like, that was you, those cells right there. That was you. Now, we know we can pinpoint that one is you. We don't have to look at four of them. So very, very cool. Very cool. So how old is he now? He'll be 22 at the end of the year. 22, the end of the year. That's beautiful. That is. That's beautiful. That is. Oh. It's special. But two years later, for the first time in my life, at 42 years old, I got pregnant on my own, I got pregnant on my own. I went to, I call my infertility doctor and I said, how could this happen? How could that like this is impossible? This has never happened. And now I'm 42 years old. And I went to the infertility doctor just to like, and he said to me, Deb, there's only a 5% chance that this is going to make it to a full term pregnancy. But I'll see you every week and check the progress. And so every week you're on this roller coaster ride, right? Waiting for that day when they're going to do the ultrasound and dah, dah, dah, dah. I do this for, I don't know, eight weeks, no, seven weeks. And he said, well, you have defied the odds. Now it's 95% chance that you're going to have this baby. I have two boys. I knew it was a girl. I knew it was my grandmother sending me a girl. I was going to name her Annie after my grandmother. Go to see my OB. No heartbeat. Oh, yeah, and I was like 40 minutes away. My husband wasn't there. I just figured, well, you know, all's good. He doesn't need to come. This is baby number three. We got this down pat, you know, early on. So, you know, in my heart, I will always have three. And I know that, I know that was Annie. Wow. Wow. You know, when I'm listening to your story and it's truly resonating, it is. I have three in their 10 years apart. Mm. Yeah. The 10 years apart. My first one was natural, natural, nothing wrong, strong, 19. My second one is where I had to go through all the IVFs and all of that. Well, let me say this. Let me say that because I was pregnant before I heard. And I was on bare rest the entire time. So when you talk about every week, that agony of every week, and actually, my doctor told me at that time, you probably need to, you know, I think you should have an abortion. But he said it in another medical term. Yeah. He said because I don't think that it will be conducive to your body for that baby in you. You know, I had the size, sister size of baseballs that were growing completely into the sack. So it was kind of smothering the, you know, the baby and diroids and so it was a whole lot of things that was going on was one of the reasons why I was unable to get pregnant in the first place that I needed to have help, you know, from there. And I remember I probably was maybe, maybe three months, two and a half, three months. And I was in increasing pain throughout the whole time, but I was like, I was going to get through this. And something happened. It's a bit of betrayal happened within my marriage at that moment in time. And I said, I can't do this by myself. And so I opted to go ahead and do with the doctor acts to do it again. But fast forward, six months later, now mind you, he told me that I will have to go through the same process again to become pregnant. But I didn't know that my body was still able to, even though that it was taken, my body was still functioning to where I'm still able to get pregnant. And on Christmas day, I find out I'm pregnant with her that same year. Yeah. So that's my miracle, baby. Right. So let's fast forward. Let's pass part of the 10 years down a lot. I'm divorced. I'm newly married to someone else having a good old time. I'm like, that's it. I got two kids. No more. We go to London, Europe. I come home probably like two days later. I'm feeling sick. I'm like, what is this? Oh, that's awesome. Yes. I am pregnant and I'm embarrassed again because those everything, the ovaries, the cysts and all that came. And so I was literally out for nine months, like I found out quickly and, but I look at each one of them, definitely as a miracle, but they were messages and signs for me. Yeah, they were messages inside for me. I think my middle baby was that don't give up. Don't give up. There is more. And then my last one was, okay, slow down. You move. Oh, that's great. Yeah. Oh, that's wonderful. Yeah. So when your story, when you share your story, you just don't know how many women they've you are going to, oh my God, that's not even at your point, right? You know, just not at your space or your point right now at your level where you can take them to that level and it's, I mean, I feel it because it's amazing and it's going to be amazing. And I just thought about saying, oh my God, we're talking about betrayal here. And I know what it feels like for you to feel like your body or your life has betrayed you in a certain point. And so I guess this, what I want to close this off with is for you to act. How did you get beyond the betrayal of everything? Because now it's about right. It's about everything that in your life, as you said, it took you 15 years before you realize it. So what at the point of your life at 50 said, okay, hold on. I have to let this go. I can no longer be the victim. I have to let this go. I have to heal beyond all this betrayal because really what makes us the victim is the betrayal that we feel from others and ourselves. So how can I become the victor and heal through this betrayal? Yeah. So we didn't really talk too much about this, but the first step that I took was dealing with my weight issue, and I literally had it my whole life, and it still defines me. And I hate that. I say that. I don't want to say it defines me, but it does. I will always, you know, when you look, it's been 23 years since I dealt with infertility, but just talking about it puts me right back there in that moment because it's so much a part of who I am, and that was just, you know, a short time in the span of my life, my weight issue. I was born that basically, and it started from a very early from the beginning. And I realized that I had to change the way I was looking at it. The way I had approached it for 50 years was clearly not working for me, because I was on what many of us are on the whole yo-yo thing, right? My whole life. So it wasn't working. So I needed to do something different, and I think the different was accepting the responsibility. You know, I think I used to think that I would see someone eating ice cream, because that's my favorite food. And I must have thought to myself, well, look at them, they're skinny. They get to eat ice cream all the time, but they look like that. Why do I look like that? Owning a rental property sounds like a dream. Collect a rent and relax. That is until you realize how much work goes into getting it ready. First, you need to conduct market research to understand local rental trends and determine a competitive rent price, then there's cleaning, staging, repairs, and hiring a professional photographer. Next, develop a marketing strategy. List the property on rental sites and schedule kelle showings. 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Play hundreds of casino style games for free. That's a lot of games. All for free? Step 4. Unleash your excitement. Whoo-hoo! Chumbah Casino has been delivering thrills for over a decade. So claim your free welcome bonus now and live the Chumbah Life. Visit Chumbah Casino.com. E-W group. No purchases are avoided by loss. See terms and conditions, 18 plus. I don't think that person is eating ice cream every meal. But I was looking like, you know? So and even if they are, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It's time just for me to stop blaming my body, right? Oh, it's me. I've been fat since, you know, the doctor said it's six months, you better switch her to skim milk. She's gaining weight too quickly. You know, what am I supposed to do? How do I come? I can't combat that. That's, you know, my body. There's nothing I can do about that. You have to take responsibility. That's the answer. You have to take responsibility for your life and stop making excuses. Is it easy? No. Did I, all of a sudden one day, okay, and then, you know, three months later, I lost the hundred pounds I needed to lose at that point in time. No, it was three years, four years, but it didn't matter because I realized this is not an on again, off again thing. This is not, you know, well, I'll just solve it. No, no, no, every minute of every day, regardless of if it's whatever it is, it doesn't have to be weight, right? It's when I realized each choice is a chance, each choice that you make, the small choices is a vote for who you want to be in the future. And some days I vote for the ice cream, and that's okay. I want it, and if I want it, I'm going to have it. But yet that doesn't mean I'm going to eat it for my main meal every, you know what I'm saying? So, and so I gave myself permission to just make the right choices for myself and realize that it's, it really is like so powerful when you realize, oh, I can, I can determine how I want the rest of my life to look. So, stop blaming my body for betraying me. Stop blaming my parents for, you know, making me feel whatever about money, like, stop it and decide what are you going to do about it today? Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. I love that. I love that, yeah, yeah, we have to get into a place where we, that's self-awareness, where we take accountability for the choices that we make. You know, I say this all the time when I'm speaking, I say about, you know, the prayer that we pray, the prayer that you pray and you ask for, and you've been shown the answer. But it's up to you, it's up to you to say, okay, that's my answer, that's the answer that that's given to you, then you go with it. And if you're not going to go with it, then don't sit there and ask for it. So when you say, well, I want to lose 10 or 15 or 20 pounds, well, you know what you need to do. And I say this to myself all the time in the mirror, girl, you know, you know what you said, like, you can't put that potato chip there. So, you know, and then it's like, well, why am I losing weight? Am I losing weight to look good to fit in a dress or am I look, I want to feel good? Is it there because I want my health wise? And that's the thing when we started to look good, like even going through the healing process, even going through the healing process, it's like, I choose to wake up this morning feeling good. A part of my prayer now is that I am no longer sick, I am no longer sick physically, I'm no longer sick, you know, spiritually, you know, I am healed. And I say that to myself now is because I understand how words are powerful and how you can manifest sickness and stress within yourself. And it was just literally like a switch this, we switched off in my head after all of these classes and courses and things that I've taken doing these podcasts, it finally hit me one day like me too, oh, so I can do, yes, you can, yes, you can. So simple, but so hard, right? Yeah. Yeah. That's why I wish we could figure out a way to just bottle that and give it to somebody else, you know. Well, you know, honestly, that is what I podcast for, that is what I self help books, but that is what we do when we put it, that's what we're going to be bottling it out and giving because they don't have to stay for the good 40 minutes and listen, they come, Oh, okay, that helped me. Okay, I'm going to take me a teaspoon. Yeah. You know, I'm going to take a teaspoon over here at self love with Naomi, then I'm going to go over there to to Debbie's to hers to her and get a dose of that too. You know, it was, it was a young man that I was talking to, not too long ago, and we were talking about, you know, I was telling him to promote his podcast on it. He's like, are you sure that's okay? I'm like, yes, we are teammates. We are teammates in this right, right here. This is something that I prayed for, I prayed to put me in a community of people that can help me to do what it is that I was called to do. And I believe that I am a part of you, your calling and whoever else that comes up here, the calling, we're teammates. I just say that I'm either Michael Jordan or LeBron James, what do you understand? So we all have a part in is that we all are helping individuals, communities, the language that they speak, because we all, we're multilingual here, but I know this is not my first language. What we're doing is not my first language, but if I know now that I have, I have my friend Debbie over there that can truly help you, that's, you know, much stronger. That's what she did. Okay. Go to Debbie. She's speaking about this. And this is something that we as a community, especially when we're talking about helping and serving others and self-love and all of this is what we need to be doing. And I think it's an amazing thing that we found each other on that platform, really. It really is. Like I said, when I was approached by Alex with that and I was like, I ain't never heard of this. And I went down a little rabbit hole and I said, Oh my God, this is amazing. Yeah. Exactly. I agree. It's just you meet the people that you're meant to meet. Yeah. Yeah. It, it, and I've been so many, probably 90% of the people that I've met on this platform has been amazing, has given me confirmation, just through their stories, have given me a sense of gratitude. Exactly. You know, when you live in your life, you think your life is hard until you sit and you watch somebody be courageous and tell their story and be as naked and raw as you are on there. And then that just pulls at your heart and your soul and you like, yeah, you know, that's my soul sister, that's my soul brother, like it's, you know, fill it in. They're not celebrities. They're regular old people living their lives. And that's who people need to hear from. That is who they really need to hear from. Is that person who lives next door to them or they see in the market? You know, I couldn't agree more when I wrote my memoir. I wasn't going to write it because I'm like, one, who am I? I'm not a celebrity. But I do, thank goodness, I haven't been through some horrible, horrible, unusual thing. So who cares? And then I realized, well, where would I get inspiration? I want to hear inspiration by somebody I can relate to. Yes. Right? Because luckily, most of us haven't had incredibly horrible things happen and most of us aren't celebrities. So yeah, that's what made me say, yeah, I guess so. If that inspires me, then why wouldn't it work the other way, you know? Right. Right. But you know, we are come to the end of our show. We can go on forever. We can. And some people love to have you back, you know, later on in the season, but more about your book. Right now, you can tell my listeners, where could they find your book at? Do you offer coaching services or whatever? Let it go. Let them know. Let them know. Thank you. Thank you. So the best place to find everything is my website. It's Debbie R. Weiss, you have to put the R, Debbie R. Weiss.com, otherwise you wind up on a realtor in California without the R. And I am an author and a speaker. And so yes, I have my memoir and in November, I'm coming out with two other books that I'm very excited about. And you can learn all about it there on the website. Well, thank you. Thank you, Debbie. This was good. Thank you. Yeah. Made my day. Thank you. I saw you made my day too. Thank you. Truly, truly, truly. This has been amazing. And this series has been amazing as well. My listeners say, again, I want to thank you all for just tuning in here to the season and stuff like podcast. And don't forget to subscribe, rate, and review our podcast and join us next time as we continue to explore the path of self-love and personal empowerment. But I want you to remember that you are so worthy and you are so capable and you are not alone in this journey because I, you know, I, yeah, I told you, I got you all right. Until next time, y'all keep loving yourself so fiercely. Have a good one. Thank you for joining us on this journey of discovery and empowerment here at the season of self-love podcast. Remember, embracing self-love is a continuous journey and we're so glad to have you with us. So if you enjoy today's episode, please leave us a review and don't forget to join our community on Facebook at season of self-love. Connect with a like-minded individuals who are also on their self-love journey. Now, if you have any questions on topics that you would like for us to explore, we love to hear from you. Email us at season of self-love@gmail.com and let your voice be heard. So until next time, take a moment for yourself. Today and remember, you are a worthy of love, joy and all the beautiful things that life has to offer. Owning a rental property sounds like a dream until you realize how much work goes into the beginning and ready. Runners Warehouse is here to take the hard work off your runnille to-do list. Qualify tenants, check, rent collection, check, maintenance coordination, you got it. Go to runnerswarehouse.com for a free rental analysis to find out how much your home can rent for. Or call 303-974-9444 because from now on, the only thing you need on your to-do list is to call runners warehouse. Lucky Land Slots asking people what's the weirdest place you've gotten lucky? Lucky? In line at the deli, I guess? Uh-huh. In my dentist's office. More than once, actually. Do I have to say? Yes, you do. In the car before my kids' PTA meeting? Really? Yes. Excuse me. What's the weirdest place you've gotten lucky? I never win and tell. 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