In this insightful episode, we speak with Natalie McCabe, a parent coach with over 30 years of experience as an educator and business owner. Specializing in helping parents in co-parenting relationships, Natalie helps her clients improve communication and connection to create a more stable environment for their children. Join us as Natalie shares her wisdom on building confidence, calmness, and thriving co-parent relationships, offering practical tools and strategies for parents who want to simplify their lives and bring more peace to their families.
Key Topics:
- Proven and effective co-parenting techniques
- Building communication and connection with your co-parent
- Simplifying life and creating calm for parents and their children
- Overcoming mindset challenges as a single parent and business owner
- Real and vulnerable conversations about the raw realities of parenting
Guest Bio:
Natalie McCabe is a parent coach, author, and business owner who specializes in helping parents in co-parenting relationships improve their communication and connection. With over 30 years of experience as an elementary school teacher, she has a deep understanding of the challenges parents face and provides them with the tools they need to build confidence and calm in their lives. Through her coaching, blog, courses, and membership, Natalie helps parents go from surviving to thriving.
Links:
Hashtags:
#ParentCoaching #CoParenting #NatalieMcCabe #CalmParenting #ParentingTips #TellUsAStoryPodcast #ConfidentParenting #SingleParentSuccess
Join us for an informative conversation with Natalie McCabe as she shares her insights on improving co-parenting relationships and building a more peaceful home for both parents and children.
Social Media Promotion:
Listen to this episode and discover how Natalie McCabe’s coaching can help you build confidence, simplify your life, and thrive in your co-parenting journey. Book a call today and start your transformation!
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On this episode of "Tell us a story." That level of communication really has to be more intricate and more clear. Our mission is to create peaceful home environments with calm and connection. What are some of the skills that you work on with parents? Family is a living system, so there's not just one piece to this. Typically, it's when parents have been in the court system already and they've tried. The other one is top ten tips for effective communication, which is very important. I wanted people to know there is no perfect way to parent and that's okay because none of us are perfect and we're never going to be. Welcome to "Tell us a story," the podcast by Belmont City Press, where entrepreneurs and sales professionals share their journeys, insights, and strategies for success. In each episode, our guests reveal how they've overcome challenges, establish their brands, and leverage their stories to promote their businesses so you can too. I'm Rad Hilton, your host for this episode. Today I'm joined by Natalie McCabe, who is the owner and founder of Natalie McCabe Parent Coaching. So, Natalie, tell us a story. Hi Rad, thanks for having me. I'll start my story by telling you what I do. At Natalie McCabe Parent Coaching, we specialize in helping parents manage stress, communicate effectively, and co-parent effectively. Our mission is to create peaceful home environments with calm and connection. Our ideal clients, they're struggling to maintain constructive relationships. They want to improve that communication and have a peaceful home life for both of their families. This not only benefits them, it benefits their children as well. You can discover us on our website, NatalieMakeit.com. There's a button there, it says book a call, so you can reach out. We have a quick meeting directly, or you can email Natalie@nadilymakeit.com. Reach out so we can walk together on your parenting journey so you can go from surviving to thriving. Thank you for sharing that with us. Could you tell me a favor? Could you just sort of define what parent coaching means for anyone who may not know? For sure, I love to do this question, Red, because everyone knows what life coaching is, and everyone knows business coaching, and a trainer, and a sports coach. But when people typically hear parent coaching, they think, "Oh, super nanny, she's going to come in my house and tell me what to do." And that is absolutely not what my style of parent coaching is all about. Of course, I'm here to help any parent with any issue, but it's a co-creative experience. We work together with the parents' individual, their strengths, what their values are. And as you know, every parent is different, every family is different, and every child is different. So, we collaborate together to come up with those solutions. I give them strategies and tips, but ultimately, the parent is the creator of their solutions going through our process together. Okay. So, you sort of settled on your niche, and although you sort of could help everyone, talk to us about your story and sort of, you know, how you sort of came to who it is that you're coaching. For sure. So, my husband and I split when the children were quite young. They were only two and four. And I was a school teacher, and I had to move home to my hometown and navigate co-parenting at a distance, which was super challenging. So, throughout that, I started my own childcare business. I started a kinder music business, all while co-parenting. So, I've been through so many of the struggles that parents are going through, the emotional struggles, the financial struggles, the travel struggles, the communication struggles. You know, all of those things I have lived, and now my children are 18 and 20, so I can literally help parents with a lot of the major issues that they have when they're struck with the co-parenting situation and being alone as a single parent. There are a lot of challenges with that. What are some of the skills that you work on with parents? First one is mainly the communication piece, because that is so important for the children, right? I really help parents understand, like, I know you guys don't like each other right now, you know, but let's really learn some skills and strategies through email, through text, through parenting apps, creating parenting plans. How can we best communicate and get really good, solid information about the children, which is that's all that matters. I've created a journal for parents. It's not out yet, but it's very helpful for parents of young children that are going back and forth quite a lot, because children, you know, under five years old, it's really important for each parent to know what's their favorite stuffy. What do they love to eat? What are the games they're playing? What are the new words and what this does is it makes each parent's life so much easier when they can look at a journal and say, oh, they're saying this word now, and oh, this is why they're not going to bed for me. I need to do this bedtime routine that that's happening in the other house, so it's meant to be that collaborative kind of team effort, even if both parents aren't on the same page. That does seem like it probably would be very helpful. You talked about sort of understanding what parent coaching means and sort of the misconception about, you know, who you are. What is something when you are dealing with parents that is sort of a misconception that they have about, you know, that you find yourself educating them about, not just about what you do? So some parents come in and they think the problem is going to be solved today, right? First coaching session, we're going to solve this problem and, you know, I need to kind of redirect them and say, okay, there's a lot of moving pieces. A family is a living system. So there's not just one piece to this. We have to look at the parent's self-care, at what support they may have, what other strengths of their family, their parenting style, like there's so many pieces that I have to uncover in those first few sessions that I always tell them in the first session, you know, this is your vent. I said, but we're not solving anything today, right? Because it takes time for us to unpack all of those things to really get to the root of the issues that are happening in the home. Okay. And you deal directly with the parents. You don't have any interaction with the children? No. No. Okay. I've been a school teacher for 30 years. I love the kids. I miss them a little bit. In this role, I know I'm benefiting them by helping the parents, for sure. Where do you usually have to start with parents that are looking at co-parenting? Definitely with the communication, but it's intertwined with helping them release the past and look at their goal and their dream for the future. I find many of them are want to talk about, well, he did this and she did that and, you know, and I understand, but we have to start from where we are now. What vision? And I try to help them build that positive vision of the future for where do they want to be? How do they want to be relating with their children, with the other parent? You know, sometimes it's impossible. Sometimes it's parallel parenting, but they still have to, you know, be able to communicate with each other. And releasing the past helps them take that emotion out of the communication, right? I kind of have them look at it more in a scientific way or like a lute, lute, use your legal eye, right? Like only say, what is necessary right now? We don't have to keep because, you know, what you focus on grows. So if you're going to continue to focus on the past, well, that's what's going to grow. Really use, you know, positive technology, positive psychology, coaching techniques to help people. Let's move into that dream. Where's that place that you want to be and let's work together to get there? Where do you usually come into the equation? And I suspect it would be helpful for you to come in, you know, the day someone packs up and leaves, obviously, but where do you find yourself usually coming in to the equation and how much catch up do you think you need to, you know, make in order to get them where they need to be? Yeah. Well, our programs runs for 10 weeks, but of course can always be extended. Typically it's when parents have been in the court system already and they've tried, you know, the settlement conferences and things and things are still not happening. Then typically the lawyers will reach out to me and say, hey, so typically, you know, one parent is willing and sometimes the other parent, not so much because they just want to please the court. But I'm happy to say I parent, I coach them both separately. This isn't together in the same call just, but I like to start both parents right around the same time of the coaching. So they're going through the 10 weeks at the same time. But the transformations I've seen have been amazing that, you know, typically the parent that was like, I'm not sure about this. You know, they end up having a good experience and a transformation and communication gets better. I can't imagine they wouldn't, but obviously that resistance up front can one parent do this without the other? They can. Absolutely. Ideally I deal to have the other parent involved. It is possible. It's just going to take a bit more time and, you know, more coaching around that depending on what the other, where the other parent is, you know what I mean? That that level of communication really has to be more intricate and more clear and, you know, again, taking the emotion out, but I definitely they can fit for sure. They would say if they could communicate, they probably would still be married. So obviously you're playing a very important part in the ending of their marriage. Yeah, for sure. And benefiting the children, obviously. Talk to me about the, your website, what's there, what sort of, you know, I think you have something, a tip sheet that people can go to and take a look at and everything else. Talk us through what people are going to find at your website. Sure. Thanks. So they can obviously, as I mentioned, can book a call. You read a lot about my story, my history as a teacher, my business, you know, just so you get to know a bit more about me. I have some blogs on there going to be adding some more about parent coaching, communication, different things. So for free, a self care tip sheet, because that I work with that with every one of my parents. It's it's very dear to my heart. It's something I didn't do as a single parent, and I think it would have made a big difference if I did have a look at it. The first time I looked at it, self tip sheet, like the one on my website, I started to cry because I realized I was doing nothing on the sheet, right? So that one's huge. The other one is top 10 tips for effective communication, which is very important. It's kind of the basic things that you should keep in mind if you're not going to go ahead with coaching, keep those tips in mind for sure. And then I've written a book called Synchron Swim Parenting for us from surviving to thriving. So there's the chapter one unedited that people can download. And that mostly is my stories. So my book is mainly my stories intertwined with some some good parenting advice that will work for toddlers to teens, right? So can you share some of your story? Can you share some of your story with us now? Sure. So my story was great until it wasn't. I had a great growing up, two parents, middle income, family home, no violent, you know, none of those major traumatic childhood things until I was 21 and my mother was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 47 and given three months to live. That's when kind of the rocks hit the glass house that day that I found that out. And so those next she I shotgun got married at 20 something and I was bridezilla and planned and executed a wedding in 30 days because I thought she had three months. It was wonderful ending though. She did live for three years. And those three years were a golden time for us to really connect. I would she lived five hours away. I would drive home every single weekend to be with her and give my father a break. She had a really good quality of life as well to up until those last six months. She passed away on Mother's Day of 1998 and then in November of 1999 my father was diagnosed with cancer and it was a large tumor and his prognosis was much, much worse and he only lived for six months. So then I was left with as an orphan, you know, that's at 25, you know, yeah, they both they both died at home. I nursed them both, you know, with the palliative care nurses by my side. And so that was that was a really life-changing experience for me. It built some resilience for sure. Right. Yeah. What did you carry from your parents relationship into your coaching programs? Because I have to imagine if you grew up had a, you know, a good childhood and your parents were together, what did you see in them that you kind of hope for everybody else, even if they can't stay married? Just the unconditional love. They accepted me for who I was. I was I had bright red hair and I had the temper to go with it and they knew that, you know, I know I frustrated my mother. My father was so patient with me. I just remember I would ask the barrage of questions, right? Why is this? What's this? What about this? And he would never, you would never ever see any sort of frustration or, you know, about it. He would just be answer all of my questions, right? My mother was a constant, constant support and just amazing woman that did so much for the community and baked homemade cookies all the time. Do you know, I don't think I had a store-bought cookie until like grade 12 and I started trading the moat at high in high school. I was like, I'm tired of these cookies. All my friends were like, give me these cookies. I mean, cookies, you know, so in so many ways, you know, I was so spoiled by the amount of love. They had a lot of stress in their marriage that they kept from me. So there was kind of an energy that you could feel, but as a child, you don't know, right? But when you can feel and you don't see, you know, they were amazing parents that they're relationship had a lot of struggle and strain that they kept inside. So that, like I said, I had no words for it, but I could feel it. I could definitely feel that there was something kind of missing for them. Who does sink or swim? Who your book, who is that written for? Is it for people who would end up in your coaching program because they're getting divorced? Or is it something that people who are together can learn from them? Absolutely. It's for everyone read. When I wrote this book, it was I wanted to shout from the rooftops just to tell my story because parenting is the hardest job in the world. And I want parents to know you're not alone. You can go through struggles and still get through this. And you know, there's a ton of great parenting resources out there and so many different styles of parenting and I wanted people to know there is no perfect way to parent. And that's okay because none of us are perfect and we're never going to be, right? But what I wanted to, my editor said, Natalie, each chapter could be a whole book and I'm like, I know, but I want to keep it short. I want to keep it easy reading. I want to keep some funny parts in there, right? And I just want parents to know some of the big pillars of important things that, you know, you really got to look at as you're going through your parenting journey. Some of those things are looking at your parenting style. Who are you as a parent? Looking at your children's personality, emotional intelligence, brain development, social skills, technology. I know it was a big one. I'm very super passionate about that. You know, routines and rituals, self care, right? Like just I wanted to touch on, you know, my editor couldn't talk me out of doing, you know, taking any of those chapters out because I was like, these are all the important things that I've learned over my journey, even though I was alone. You know, we weren't meant to parent alone. And even as a couple, I'm sure they feel alone, even still as a couple, right? So yeah, no, this book is for everybody. You talk about parenting styles. Can you give us some examples? So I talk about, you know, the typical ones in my book that are out there, right? You got your helicopter parenting, you got your gentle parenting, you got your conscious parenting, all of those. There's benefits to every one of them, except for, you know, I guess the authoritarian, right? The disciplinarian or the neglectful parent. Okay. We're not. I think we understand those. Yes. What is consciousness parenting as compared to helicopter and what was the other one you said? Helicopter and gentle. Okay. So what does conscious mean? So conscious means that the parents looking more inward first to before they react to situations that are happening. Dr. Shefali Talsbury has written a beautiful book as she's written many books that go very deeply into conscious parenting. And all of those styles are great. There's, but they have to fit the person. They have to fit the parent, right? What's more, for me, what I take my clients through is a parenting style inventory that actually isn't in my book right now, I might add it, that looks at the individual parent. So there's four different types. There's the realistic parent, there's practical and result oriented parent, care and nurturing parent, and the personal kind of choice parent that kind of goes with their intuition. So those four styles. So I give the parents this inventory and they really have to look within to say, okay, what is my style? And then I share with them, okay, there's a lot of great benefits to all those styles. And sometimes we are all four of those styles, but especially when I'm working with co-parents or even if I was working with a couple, nine times out of 10, they have different parenting styles because they are different people. Right. So it's who you are. It's who you are. Not who you want to be as a parent because it's that, you know, it's in that innate sort of decision that that's just how you react or you treat things, you know, things are happening. Yeah. Exactly. Right. You don't want to try to stuff yourself into a box that you're not going to fit in. Okay. We want to take the box you're in and find the beauty, the strength, the life and the energy in that part of your personality and grow that because that's what's going to make you the best parent for your child. I would have to think once people discover what their parenting style is, it's easier for them to communicate authentically and be who they are supposed to be. And if both parents can do that, I imagine the children benefit. Absolutely. Absolutely. Because the more authentic the parents are, then the more comfortable the child feels to be their authentic self, right? We take the shoulds out of the situation. Another thing that happens with the parenting style inventories is that they, even if they're together or they're not, when they're able to see, okay, these are the benefits of their parenting style, never thought about it that way, right? And then at, you know, the document I give them shows them some of the challenges of that parenting style. So then they can sit back and say, okay, yeah, I see why this parent is reacting in this way to this situation with that mutual understanding helps that communication. Mm. This really sounds like it's something that should start before the divorce proceedings. Like at the birth of the children, if everyone could sort of understand that you maybe you're not all born to be a parent, and it's not like a learned sort of, you know, job, if you will. Now, your clients, you are in Canada, do you, are you just in Canada? Are you Canada US? Do you have them all over the world? Talk to me about your clients and their locations and how you go about communicating with them. My clients are all over the world. I'm English speaking only right now. I'd love to learn Spanish. It's on my list of things to do, but I typically do Zoom calls. So we have that privacy and that quiet that and people are comfortable and they don't have to travel anywhere. So yeah, so my clients are from everywhere all over the United States and Canada right now. Nice. Okay. Um, and you, you talked about the pillars, you talked about your book. There's things, information at your website. Tell me what is Natalie, your Monty. So as you know, Monty is our web, um, our mascot here at Belmont City Press. You sort of a, you know, a beacon of information or inspiration. What is sort of your Monty or something you can share with our listeners today? Absolutely. So this parenting is the hardest job in the world. And what comes with it is a lot of guilt sometimes and a lot of shame sometimes. And I want to help parents release that. So my Monty is my Angelo. When you know better, you do better. It's true. Right. I've never ever meant to do this alone. And so I just want parents to reach out and stop beating themselves up for anything that they're doing right now, right? When they're on Facebook and they're scrolling and they're seeing other people and their perfect family, they're perfect, you know, and all this stuff. You don't know what's going on in there. Like just go easy on yourself. And if you want to be better, then find out and know and then you will do better. Show yourself some grace. Absolutely. Show yourself some grace. And if you even are willing to take that step, whether it be to take parents coaching, take a workshop, read an article online, then you're already a good parent just by the fact of doing taking those steps. And parents do not have to be in the throes of divorce to benefit from your coaching. Oh, gosh. No, I honestly, I think you should come with every new baby. I know. I would love that because then we do in person because I'd have to hold the baby. No, but seriously, imagine if people had a baby and a Natalie, like, I know how successfully because being a parent is extremely stressful. Being married is extremely stressful and coming together, doing all of that and not having someone to say, yes, but have you thought about doing this just seems like we're throwing ourselves to the wolves? We absolutely are. And I know, I mean, you've really read it's, I know it sounds cheesy, but I do believe that supporting young families and supporting new mothers, whether it be parent coaching or the myriad of other programs, that is how we're going to change the world, literally. We change the trajectory, the brain development, then then we have better health outcomes than we have better health outcomes in our justice system and our mental health system won't be crushed. And the education system will be better, right? Like it is that link in my belief that will change, that it has the potential to change absolutely everything of our government's put money towards supporting young families, new mothers, and they wouldn't have to put money towards anything else going forward. Well, imagine reducing the trauma, reducing childhood trauma, therefore reduces X, reduces Y, reduces, it's sort of like an ABC. Yeah. Yeah. The whole alphabet, but that is my belief, right? So I'm doing my part right now. Well, I certainly appreciate that. Are you ready for the rapid fire session? Sure. All right. I'm going to do two choices and you tell me which one speaks to you more. All right. Fiction or nonfiction? Fiction. Okay. All right. Well, I'll see window window and now when you go to like a concert or a play or something like that, do you always sit on the aisle though? Yes. Window. I always think playing. No, no, no, absolutely. Or train or something like that. But I am, I don't care where in the theater I sit as long as it's on an aisle. So if I will be all the way in the back, like if I front row in the middle, absolutely not all the way in the back, I'll certainly, I can completely get that hiking is swimming. Swimming for sure. Okay. All right. Ocean or river? Ocean. Okay. Easy. You're near. Ocean. That's why. Dog walking or cat sitting? Hmm. I'd say dog walking. Okay. All right. I don't the cat. I don't know. Like cat sitting. I get that that's a thing, but I don't know if the cats know that's a thing. Like I feel like they're just like, I don't need you. Oh, yeah. Very few cats that are like, I need a human. Right. And even in a human that's not their owner, you know, they're not, you're not getting too far. Horror movie or comedy? Comedy. Okay. All right. You know, we do a guest to guest question where the guests only show before you left behind a question for you to answer on the air with me today. So are you ready? Yes, ma'am. What is something you believe to be true that you no longer do? So something I used to believe to be true and especially after my parents passed away that I had to be perfect. I had to be the perfect mother. I had to do everything right. I had to do all the food, all the, you know, all the activities, have the clean house, you know, so much I put on myself. And now I realize that's not true. I didn't need to do be perfect at all these things to be a good mom. Did you believe your mother was perfect? Oh, yeah. Absolutely. I mean, she's baking cookies. She's baking cookies and listen, you could eat off the kitchen floor. This woman would literally every week lift all of the furniture out of the kitchen and scrub the floor on her hands and knees, right? And so when I had my kids and I'm a single mother, I'm like the guilt. I was like, oh, man, if mom was alive and she saw the dust bunnies on those ledges or she knows that I didn't wash the fixtures twice a year like she did, you know, what is she thinking? I had to let all that go, right? And so it's the combo of, you know, belief systems are very powerful. And you know, it's something that comes up sometimes in the parent coaching. Do you really believe that that is true? Because most time it's not a belief that's true. It's one that was given to you from someone else, or your perception, your perception, exactly. A belief is just a thought you keep thinking. So they can be changed, you know, and that's a big piece. So that was a great question. I love it. So one more time, your website and what they're going to find there, your website again is Sure, Natalie McCabe dot com. Okay, we'll put the link to that in the show notes. Yes. And they'll find a self care tip sheet, top 10 ways to communicate effectively with a co-parent. For a chapter in my book, they can download as well. And they can for always book a call, even if you just want to have a cup of tea. You know, my book a call is just is to get acquainted, you know, this isn't a big sales pitch. We either parents either feel they connect with me or they don't, right? That's sales of service. So I'm just offering my service and they've decided if they would like to work with me. Right. And don't wait till you're possibly looking at divorce before reaching out to. It's true. I do coach couples and I do coach separately. So what is your parting thought for our listeners? I always like to say to people, if you had 60 seconds to teach, you know, to tell the world a story, what would they learn from you? Well, I like this one. I believe that, you know, the only thing constant in life is change. That's the only thing you can bet on, right? And I want parents to remember that our children are constantly changing. They're constantly changing. And so it's kind of part of our job is to grow up with them. You know, parents with their eldest child, you are growing up with them. You've never parented a five year old before or an eight year old before or a 14 year old before. So again, it's about giving themselves that grace and understand that change is going to happen. You're going to have to change some of the boundaries that you have with your children as they get older. So it's just, it's a constant, you know, you're just on the change wheel. And so the sooner you get comfortable with that, the easier your journey will be. Hmm. Fabulous. Well, Natalie, I appreciate your time. It's extremely valuable. And I hope I honored that here today. Thank you so much, Red. I am honored to have met you and I am honored to, I will also be becoming a client of Belmont City Press in the future because of all of the value that you offer here. I really appreciate that. I appreciate that. Thank you. To our listeners, if you have a story to share, visit TellUsAStorypodcast.com. If you're an aspiring author, a seasoned business owner, or looking to elevate your personal brand, visit BelmontCityPress.com for expert advice on writing your own success story. Trust the next chapter because you are the author. Now, tell us a story. (upbeat music) (gentle music)
