The Manic Candice Podcast
Romance Is Not Real
If you hang up on me, you'll die just like a motherf*ck! Do you want to die, Sydney? Your mother sure didn't. Hello, hello, hello! On the done, I'm in my drop top, who's in the streets? I got a real pretty, pretty little thing, right? Preeting for me. Oh god, alright, I'm done. Hello, hello, hello, welcome to the man in Canada. This podcast, I should go Candice, back at it to get with a brand new episode of the podcast. And today, this morning, this evening, this afternoon, this very good night, meet the needs, we are going to discuss what the f*ck happened since we last talked, because I hooked up that night. I just want to take it nice and slow, don't run, don't run, do. But so long, I waited two years for this dick and it was disappointing. It was disappointing, oh my god. So, I hit this guy up, but I thought that I was going to rekindle something with. Me and my thoughts tend to be wrong. Sorry, Usher is just so good, Usher is on tour right now. I didn't know that. I've seen Usher once, Usher was my first concert. God, I'm old. Anyways, I seriously thought that me and this guy were going to rekindle. And I honestly think that there's someone on here listening to my podcast that is genuinely wishing me a bad luck, because this night went like shit. Let me tell you. So, I started raining and I got scary, because on the way to Chandler, Arizona, there's roads on either side, it's just dirt. And the wind was blowing and it looks like I was in the middle of a tornado and it was so fucking scary. I get there and he's like, "I'm going to the gas station." And I'm like, "You're going to the gas station." He could run to the gas station in the past 45 minutes that I was driving here anyways. He goes to the gas station, he's there for an hour. I'm in the driveway for a fucking hour. I know. I know. I know. I know. But I have no excuse for that. I know. I don't know why I waited in the driveway for an hour. I wanted to see him so bad. He is so cute. But like, his breath stunk. Yes, I am talking about Zay. His breath stunk. Like, it's stunk again. I'm like, "How does it stink two years later?" You guys know on Twitter where that popular tweet where they were like, "He's a 10, but he has a small dick," or "He's a 10, but he's a narcissist." Well, he was a 10, but his breath stunk. He was a 10, but his dick hurt. And I don't blame his dick for being big or anything, for hurting. I wasn't having sex for a while. The first time I have sex with someone that's like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. It was bad. I want it in my head. I see I'm delusional, right? So tonight's playlist is going to get a little wild this morning, but I'm delusional. So I, in my head, I was like, "It was good. It was good. It was good sex." No, it wasn't. No, it wasn't. I'm like, what I don't appreciate is that before we had sex, he fucking was holding my hand. He was kissing my hair, his kissing my forehead. I'm like, "I know what you're thinking with the bad breath." Yes, with the bad breath. But I'm so desperate for affection and touch and anything remotely genuine. I say remotely genuine. I can bad the bad breath I want in. That's my part. I don't like this part with Lil Wayne that's coming on. Anyways, so he didn't have to do all that. You know what I'm saying? He didn't not have to do all that. He didn't not have to go the extra half mile. And we were talking a little bit. He's a caregiver. And he's going to school to be a nurse. And I'm just like, "That's so cute. That's so cute. He's 23." And that's my problem. That's my problem right there. I'm gonna take a hit of this weed. This guy. He's a grower. Not to get off topic, but this guy's a grower. When he came over, gave me an ounce and like a half ounce of wax. So I've been smoking on that like the past like a few days, all week. We don't like it. Miss Candice, babe. Anyway, where were we? Yeah, back to the sex. It was bad. So I turned around and started having good sex. And then I got my period. And then I'm like, "Thank God I got my period." And like second of all, no wonder I was fucking sleeping around. Can we talk about it? You guys, romance is dead. Romance is dead. And I figured out it didn't really exist in the first place. Can we talk about it? The idea of romance, a guy swoons you, sweeps you off your feet by the way of his words, by the ways of his looks. And he just is able to sleep with you as a woman or as a man these days. Who cares? Romance person, everyone. I can't wait until we're like, no, awkward about our sexual orientation anymore. It might take 100 years, it might take 50. But like, I still cast myself like saying things like, "Oh, all of us. Oh, men and women." Like, it's weird. Sorry. But like, I... Do it on the day. See, my ADHD is like, I don't know why I do this to myself. I like, find music that I'm gonna listen to. And then I listen to it during the podcast. And then I start singing, and I forget what I'm gonna say. Back to sex. Back to having good sex, like on my period. And then I would just remember that I don't need to sleep around. And romance is dead. It didn't really exist. You see how I did that there? Um... She's got me spinning. I have money on me. Either way, speaking of spending money on me. Frank, shout out to Frank. I don't know what it is about this week. Do you guys feel like guys have been spending... Hey, like, in total? About a thousand dollars. Like, guys have been trickin'. They've been trickin'. And I'm just like... Okay? 'Cause they're mad. They just been trickin'. I got, like, $400 worth of sex toys. Like, $400 cash. He sent me $50. And then he bought me... Okay, that day... I went in his DMs. And I was like, buy me a slime, please. And he was like, "All right." And I was like, "What the fuck?" So I fell bad. And so I sent him a picture of my feet. If you touch it, I'ma start some drama. You don't want no drama. So shout out to Frank for sending me money on a whim. And then in the cash app, what are you saying? Let me check. Muh-huh, muh-huh, muh-huh. Said "Four Queen." And then the solute emoji. That's so cute. I don't think I could ever fuck him, though. You see, that's the thing about me. I was like, "Hey, there's a lot of guys that like me. Like, that wanna be with me." But I'm like, "I don't know if I could fuck you." And that's my problem. It's like the ones that I do fuck, they don't wanna be with me. And the ones that I don't wanna fuck, they wanna be with me. But come to shit desire. So romance is not real, you guys. The dating pool has shit in it, has a lot of shit in it. I haven't dated in two years. I mean, like, seriously dated. I've just been a hoe the last two years, to be honest. Because what else is there to do? Fall in love. The idea of romance is fine. And it's dandy, and it's actually great. It's actually, like, Kryptonite. It's actually, like, a drug. I love romance. I love the idea of it, but we can't live up to it. As individuals. I mean, those of us who do live up to it, we have a lot of partners. Or we have a lot of romances. I shouldn't say partners, like, sexual partners. I should say we have a lot of romances. We have a lot of affairs. Back in the day, romance was a tool for men. Like a propaganda tool for men to have easy access to our vaginas. Does that make sense? Like, they figured out that if they talk to a certain way to us, if they promise certain things, if they told us what we wanted to hear, such as, "You're beautiful." You know, I love the way you do your hair. Or you're very demure. You're very mindful. You're very considerate. You know, I'll tell you things you want to hear. And men have figured out back then too, if I tell her what I want to hear, and I look nice, and I look sexy, and I groom myself, apparently I don't need that. God, I don't know why I put up with that. Anyway, fucking men figured out that if they do these things, they can get access to our vaginas, and it's worked ever since. Zay fucks me with the bonnet. That's how cute he is. I wish you guys could see me twerking. Even that's a joke. Even that is in the itself a joke. I don't twerk. I wish I could. But I have a bad hip on my right side, so I'm twerking, and I could twerk for half a circle. I can twerk 270 degrees. All I really need is a little bit. I feel like men promise a relationship, or they have, not these days they used to. Can we talk about it? I've been dating and trying to find the one for so long. I've noticed something different. Men in the beginning of my dating life, when I was in my early 20s, which was like 10, nine years ago, I was, people used to hold relationships over my head. They used to be like, we'll be together one day. And they used to be like, all right, cool. And they would not just hold, they wouldn't hold up the end of the deal. And I think now women are so sexually liberated that we just don't care what happens after. We have sex, but if I get ghosted or not, I am going to feel hurt. I have feelings, but like, I just, oh, that's what happened. I was like, he ghosted me. Can you believe it? He texted me like before I walked in the door. He was like, hey, I feel bad because we're going to hook up and then what? I should have known right then and there. He wasn't going to talk to me like ever again. Because he was like, I feel bad, feel bad for what? For not ever going to talk to you again. So I just, like, it's been two weeks. They last talked to him since I, since I fucked him. And like, I want to go back and I don't know why. Okay, you guys can tell I'm downtown. Do you hear the police? I never used to deal with this, but I live downtown now and I can see the moon. It's beautiful tonight. Can you feel the love tonight? No, I can't. I really can't. Let me take another hit of this weed. This weed's all right. You know when you know how to tell a drug dealer that, like, their shit is bad? Women sacrifice so much over love. We do. Like, we, like, me, for example, like, I don't know if I'm sacrificing a family for love. Does that make sense? Like, I'm not getting any younger. And the window for me to have a family or to start a family is getting really, really small. I'm talking, like, I have, like, years, not decades. I have, I have, literally years. Like, I can count on two hands how many years I have to have a kid and to have whatever. That's what I wanted to kind of talk about too. There's a lot of what I'm talking about. That's been on my mind, you guys. It's like, I don't believe in love. I know I had elo in the podcast the other, the other day, two weeks ago. And I asked him, I was like, "Hey, do you believe in love?" And he was like, yeah, you got, you got to something like that. Like, something like you have to. And I'm just like, I don't, I just don't. Maybe because it hasn't happened for me yet. Or maybe because the person that I love, I'm not with. Or the person that I'm in love with is pathetic. Rolling my eyes right now. Romance was invented by guys to compete with rich guys to get pussy. And that makes me feel like that's still going on today. And that makes me feel like, well, why not be a sex worker? That's why I have no respect, I mean, that's why I have nothing but respect for them. I almost had to have no respect for them. I have nothing but respect for sex workers. Because they're getting something out of it. Because like, if the guy, if, if, if, and I'm not saying it's healthy to sleep with someone right off the bat, because it's not. But if a girl has her hopes of like, like with me in day, like if I had my hopes so that something would happen. Why sleep with me? You know? But then again, he's 23. I'm stupid. That's the good to go. That's your girlfriend. Why don't you introduce me? I wish Romance was real. Um, it's a game. Have you ever felt like a guy was playing games with you? I have plenty of times like, okay, why are you not texting me? Okay, why did you go all day without texting? I do all week. What the fuck is wrong? And then it's like, you go back to like your last encounter and you replay everything that you did, everything that you said, everything that you should have did right, everything that you did wrong, everything you did do right. Everything that you wish you did and it's just like, I wish you brushed your teeth because I was like blaming like, well maybe you didn't kiss him a lot. Maybe you didn't kiss him enough. And I'm just like, that's not, he's just not into you Candice. So in order to heal, I turned around and I slept with like three guys. Mm-hmm. And then like two of them want to cook for me. Now I'm just like, damn. I really put it down. And I'm just like... I feel like if men can't rule the world, like the real world, he'll try to be the king of a woman's world. Case in point, my ex-boyfriend, Dominique. He told me and the women, if you're listening to me and you're young and you are young, I'm talking like 20, 21, 22, 23, 23, 24, 25, do not let an older man move in with you. Do not let an older man move in with you. Do not let an older man live with you. And we'll talk about how, we'll talk about hobo-sexuals. How men get with women just to find a place to stay. That happened to me and it happened to women that I know too. But like, it happened to me. Never again will I let a man shack up in my house. Like what the fuck? But he was not very handsome. But he had a lot of like talk. And he told me everything I wanted to hear about myself, that I was beautiful. Have you ever heard that term of like love bomb? He would go beyond beautiful. He would say like you're the most beautiful girl in the whole entire Phoenix area. Like it's like shit like that. Like very dramatic, very one and only one and a million. Can I call you Rose? Because my middle name is Rose. Like I know a lot of you are rolling your eyes right now. But like yeah, like that shit worked on me and I guess. And like fucking nowadays, like it takes a lot to fucking. Like if you're going to meet me off the street, it's going to take a lot to just be like, Hey, what's up? My name is this and you're beautiful. And I just want you to know like no, I can't be loved bombs anymore. And that's what happened to me. It was like I was, I was loved bombed. All my birthday, I was given a gift from an anonymous secret admirer who knew it was. And he gave me a bunch of weed. And I'm like, that's all it takes, can't just for you is drugs and compliments. Jesus. And like, um, you fucking became my boyfriend. And then he moved in within nine months. Baby, it's raining. Baby, come in to me. Nay. Romance is a spell. He put a spell on me. Because when I look at him, honey, nothing but a spell could have made me fuck that. Could have made me have that move in with me. That made me claim that in public. Like, I feel so like, I feel so young. I feel 18 again. I know I'm 29, but like, remember when you turned 18, you were just like. So you knew that you didn't know a lot of things, but you knew a lot at the same time. But you knew you didn't know a lot because you're 18. So I feel that way being 29, like, I'm not, I'm not 35. You know, I feel like people with 35 have so much wisdom. Like every time I hear someone talking and I'm like, they must be 35. And the sure enough, they're like 35, 37. So like, I can't wait to turn 35 if I ever get the chance to turn 35. And I still have this podcast, hopefully. Hey. Chris Brown is on tour too. Damn it. So Dominique tried to be the king of my world. He told me to quit my job. And I quit my job. He was like, I want you to quit your job so you can focus on your art career. What the fuck? Oh God. I was 23 and you could have, I believed in that romance love. He used to look me in my eyes and he used to be like, you don't believe in reincarnation. You don't believe in past lies. You don't believe we've met each other before. Our connection is so strong. Like, and I'm like, what the fuck? Like, I should have known Ben that he was crazy. Because he would say shit like that. And like, I, I thought it was very. So I feel like for women a message I want to, like, bring about for men too. Is that love is inside of you. And it is not dependent on an external source such as a boyfriend or a date or a husband. Love is inside of you. Talk is not cheap on that one. Gagit, gagit, gagit. I've been on TikTok way too much. They're just going in for Nita and she goes, gagit, gagit, gagit. So I'm gagging it. I'm doing good. I've been working every day and that's my measure of success. If I work every day, I don't call off. I don't tap out. I consider it a successful day and a successful week. And I have no, like, I feel out when it's time to do a podcast. I let you guys miss me. I'm bipolar. But don't let mental illness be an excuse for you to be an asshole. Not my good, he's out. [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] This was the song back in the day. Fuck you guys know about this. [MUSIC PLAYING] Mine don't stay in the jar, the outside's jar. I'm just kidding. [MUSIC PLAYING] You know, if that's my ice maker, say hello to my ice maker. [MUSIC PLAYING] So if a guy is, like, romancing you right now, if a guy is, like, talking up your ear, like, I want to see you. [MUSIC PLAYING] I want to lay up under you. I want to come over. All that shit. Or he's saying shit, like, I look into your eyes and you're so beautiful. Or anything that's, like, slick, castin' over. Anything that's, like, over the top. You're being loved, bombed. And it's time to just end it. My advice to just not have any feelings, honestly. [MUSIC PLAYING] Love is not out there, for me at least. I watch love, like, just walk into my life. But, like, I still believe in romance. Something I just said is not real. [MUSIC PLAYING] I don't believe in love anymore. But I believe in romance. Is that weird? [MUSIC PLAYING] Don't sleep around. [MUSIC PLAYING] This is Candice for the Man in Candice podcast. Thank you for listening. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for coming back. Thank you for listening for the first time. Please leave a rating of 5 stars. Good morning, good evening, good afternoon, good night, my name is Mise. And I bid you with you. [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING] [MUSIC PLAYING]