The Manic Candice Podcast
The Land Remembers
The actual bed yes, very theatrical. So how are you today? I'm doing good doing good. It's been it's been a a very very It's been a long last couple weeks coming into production and everything fuck my brain doesn't turn off when I go to sleep For some reason mine mine never turns off like I'm planning Mom sleeping and I don't want to it's like I'm scheming It's nice to be passionate about something to where your mind is Going into the night during the night the next day you wake up with new ideas. Do you wake up with new ideas? So for me, it's kind of it's so weirdly prophetic in a way. I don't mean to sound like weird by that I mean that like I kind of have to like dissect what it means But I definitely think that like my mind keeps going when I'm asleep if I like can't turn things off for the time being and Probably because my miss a little too ADHD honestly fair, but I do think that you know it'll be a dream where like I'm flying and There's like a rock around tighter on my waist but like the rock keeps getting bigger, but I don't care because I just keep flapping harder, so like for me, it's like recognizing obstacles coming along the way and just realizing that like it doesn't matter if you're being like, you know held down as a Tricharter and like I had like a unfortunate mishap pop-up where like with production just like fumble it happens and like because I was just kind of ready for The extra burden. I just kind of adapted and just do it need it instead of like Taking it as failure. I guess Excellent. Everybody. This is Mark Bandi yep, that's me and he is From Crimson sleeper studios tell us about your indie comic book company So I am the founder lead writer at Crimson sleeper studios We write southern superhero stories and Specifically we have a comic book out right now our debut called scion PSI Owen and we Okay, okay, it's not just me. Okay. It's not just me So it's myself. I'm a founder lead writer Utuna of boar. He is our our artist through all of the process. He's doing pencils, inks, colors covers He's also a co-writer with me on this so very very important to my process and then also our editor who's my girlfriend Jazlyn can she is she's my sauce my legal counsel We kind of just do a little small little tight little triumphant type thing where we kind of all split up multiple duties And the time is we get it done. That is awesome so I've been looking at your Instagram and That's at Crimson sleeper studio yep all spelled out just plain and Twitter as well, right? So Twitter's a little bit. I'm a little bit A little bit weird on Twitter. So I'm just crimson sleeper. No vowels. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. We'll plug that into description So make sure you go follow You know, where did you meet these people besides your girlfriend? I mean that kind of but why did you meet her? Oh, so I met her at LSU eight years ago. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. No, it's So we we were in the same friend group. Yeah, we were like a we were like kind of pass-by friends Like we've only got a couple times and then kind of friend group You know fall out and kind of some people get kicked out So you know how like certain people were becoming closer into the group. Yeah, exactly. So Once our friends kind of co-mingled more It was very much this kind of like oh like kind of how you're drinking route one night and like all the oh, man It was like it was 2015 or 2016. So you know how you know how agro was back at the clubs back then. So it's good music Yes. Oh, yes, like it was like nuk a few buck level for me I wish I could experience that nowadays if I go to I go down the street, right? I'm postal bars here So if I go down the street and they're having like a R&B night like This one bar next to Cobra, I forgot what it's called But they have an R&B night and I have beef with DJ that night because he plays nothing but like 2000s R&B and I had to realize I'm like campus you were 29 They are not gonna play jagged edge They're not gonna play old usher Like they're not gonna play a Lea like they're not gonna dip into the 90s Times are shifting like no S.W. V. No like no, I'm like, what are you doing? I'm like this old lady. Y'all No, I'm with you on that cuz I have when it comes to R&B I don't play so I understand you on that and luckily for me, I I live I'm from Louisiana So I'm from a place where we're back in time So you can live like it is a 2000s right now today if you just go to the club You feel about JZ picking Kendrick Lamar to perform at the Super Bowl So I'm I could take a lot of criticism for this, but I do want to just kind of talk about it for a second Yeah, I am from Louisiana. You're from Louisiana. I witnessed Wayne's like I witnessed his like his like King run from like oh seven oh eight that era you know grew up on the mix tapes now I'm definitely not as big as You know what I mean? Like, you know, I was I wasn't listening to the drought sakes You know what I'm saying, but I was I was listening to all the dedications though I was definitely listening to you know, sorry for the when sorry for the weight drop man. Yeah boy. Oh boy Sorry for the weight might have been better than the card or four if we're being honest, so it's I Love Wayne But I do think that Wayne comes from a place currently of not necessarily being what the industry needs nor what New Orleans needs really what they have the Super Bowl stage and by that, I mean New Orleans is a very very very famous city It's you know in Tennessee Williams is talking about the three cities in America it's New York it's San Francisco and it's New Orleans everything else is Cleveland and That's that means something especially to the small Town life that surrounds New Orleans and music is the main reason why that's the case music is The bread and butter of outside food also, which is the literal bread butter of New Orleans, so when you have Music people like Louie Armstrong, you know pioneers of music that's attacked in this city for over the last 150 years longer than that Making this one of the hubs. I would say it is the music hub of America Outside of like, you know the radio city music hall type stuff. You see in New York Like it's it's it's us that and then like maybe Nashville. Yeah, so I would say Nashville because like Yeah, exactly so when it comes to like those three cities you can never take music from and I don't think you can give it to one Hurst that's that's why I don't think like Wayne wants to talk about how he's upset. He's hurt I definitely understand your pain, but when we think about who The spirit of New Orleans music looks like innovation Maverick someone who is jazz inspired. Let's talk about it for a second Kendrick has a lot of jazz beats He does a lot of samples. Oh, yes And he obviously I'm not trying to pretend that we need to take talent from outside of our area and put it on the main stage But it's the Super Bowl. We need a set of people from Louisiana are upset that you're taking the talent I have Louisiana. They're not necessarily upset about Kendrick Because it's Kendrick. They're upset that Because Louisiana has so much history of this music. Why aren't you choosing someone from Louisiana? And I think I mean, I feel like we're gonna get a Louisiana medley probably something similar to that LA Super Bowl We're like you had like like death row kind of like do like a whole deal I definitely I think we'll definitely see something similar I would be very confused if many fresh in juvenile don't make an appearance. Wow, that would be amazing right and like I'd love it in Birdbank. It could you know, maybe act right for five minutes? I'd love it if he could show up to the big-time love a big-timers reunion because you're gonna be a little Louisiana fest this year, which is like his a little Wayne's festival. He does it back in Louisiana So it's like it seems like they they have the coordination here It just the other big thing. The city didn't want him and that's the other big thing here There have been three Super Bowls in New Orleans over the last 20 years Okay, and he was more famous in 2007 and in 2013 than he is now But in 2007 in 2013, I'll be fair. Oh, I was never gonna be on that stage. No, no, not at all I agree. I will agree. I feel I feel like it's unfair for people to be upset at Jay-Z Well, I agree this it's the city of New Orleans this fall With Jay-Z Jay-Z made a point to want to be in the in that white space of the NFL owners and the NFL Whoever works there, you know, there's a lot of shoulders that people rub to like get up there and you know To even be considered he had to be a billionaire Exactly and like a billionaire who had already been a team owner in a different sport, right? So he already has he's already been bonafide by the NBA So yeah, I think it's unfair that he put himself in a position to have black people use that platform as a Super Bowl and some People were really upset at him saying like, you know, you're your sellout. I've heard I've seen that sentiment online I'm like, that's not fair. I don't think it's fair either I think that sometimes whenever, you know, we have Whenever we have a situation like this happen If we don't have another face to blame it on so we might sometimes we just pin it on the first black face We could think about yeah, and like and like we have reasons for that. You know uncle Tom think the conversation Yeah, and that's that's where rapper Nicki Minaj was kind of going with this Oh, she's had a lot of things that I was thinking to say Online and I it's Barb's please don't come after us Everybody she's on like it's been my sentiment. She's on that shit. Like she let us down And her and Connie both broke. I am I just let this let us all down I will say it's my opinion that if Lil Wayne were to be granted the stage next year on Super Bowl He's so Down in the lean in the in the drugs The performance would be horrible. I mean he the way he looks what's his I don't know what's going on with his dreads like every time I see him He's covered in sweat and I know it's from the drugs. Yeah, he drinks a lot of lean He does but well, so I let me not allegedly, right? We'll hit the visa mirror allegedly, but what I will I'll put it like this I wish he would I wish I wish he would take his health first for sure I wish that he would think about perhaps Reinventing his performance craft. I think that one thing he could definitely benefit from is trying to Rethink how he performs she when you're on drugs though. Oh, you're just gonna do what you like Yeah, you don't think about you're not self-aware. No, not enough when you're on drugs when you're on that Anything I feel like other than marijuana is when you're on marijuana. You're pretty self-aware Oh, why's words from the MDMA queen? Thank you for getting to write it. You wouldn't believe how many people call me Mad Max and I can see the mad Max is like that's a stretch. That's a I've never seen Mad Max And I don't want to see it. I can see my Mac Maybe I get that but people call me Mad Max, and I'm like, I'm not Mad Max I'm not mad Max. Okay. I'll check it out. Let's see if I feel your own People seem really excited because I used to have it on my license plate is over there. Oh, yes It's not me. It's MDMA cute when I was 13 I took a I believe it was a white barf Simpson Existy pill so he's a popular ecstasy when I was younger I went to sleep had a lucid dream All my friends were there and they're like hey and they make you and I woke up Which is what I found it and there's been my name ever since and like 13 I was 13 and I thought it was perfect because I was like here you are on ecstasy, and that's when you get the name and Then I grew out of it But then it always stuck so it just kind of meant like me and then I started signing my art with it instead of Candice Did you go to boarding school? No Interesting do I do I look like It just feels very totally oco like 13 is very like I'm like no, I was a wild kid Oh, no, I'm not judging. I can't judge at all. I did plenty of things in my time What I was trying to like I was trying to put the pieces together. I was like so like Don't room for the kids. They're being bad after school. Let's say I grew up on the West Valley I mean we Don't have your textbook definition of a hood Mm-hmm in Arizona. I don't feel like not at all. Not at all. There's not one single one out here But where I grew up had a lot more illegal activities and Somewhere in the East Valley somewhere. Especially the North Valley. Yeah, maybe not as much as the south Phoenix Probably just as much as South Phoenix, but like the West Valley It's known for being Not ghetto. That's a word in Phoenicians love to you, but they use that word I'm like it could be worse, you know, cuz they're nice homes, you know where I grew up around there were nice homes But every other home was a trap house Drop house, no, I definitely get it. There was a lot of meth in the neighborhood There was a lot of and the police didn't catch on yet like while I was growing up But now there's cops posted around the neighborhood all the time You can't hang out the park if you look us over a certain age if you're walking with your friends and cops stopping you What are you doing? Cuz like as kids like we would we were addicts active addicts as kids and we didn't realize without we were just having fun But you know, I feel like with drugs. It's always fun until it's not Yeah, and that's the case we got now with them fennel being the number one killer of people 18 ages 18 to 49 Plus we have like all the drug mixing now Do you know anyone that is on Fentanyl currently? Probably, but I hope they're not Straight up, but I hope they're not It's um, I have an aunt who's currently on the streets And it's very hard. It's very hard to have them because she'll come around and be Christmas and you just hope she's alive And the way changes are gonna be hard to know this dude. She is a twig She was like the most beautiful out of all her siblings. She knew it like she was fitting him into my grandmother When she was her age and she lost. She thought I don't know how many teeth she's lost She lost her hair. She used to be very prideful in her looks because she had a reason to and It's just gone and then she leaves behind the Sun and I just it's it's so devastating Um, please don't be drugs. Please don't be fennel Don't do any of that. It's it's taking us out. Yeah, it is. There's no efficacy either It feels like there was like a time period where like you could like if you were into the crowd You could like get test kits and you could try to be smart or like have this like scientific method for what you're trying to do and when you realize that like people die under protocol every day You kind of it just kind of puts into a different perspective and I definitely understand what you mean like I come from a family both sides Addiction really? Oh, yeah, my family. I only know one side. I don't I never I met my dad once But we never had a relationship. So I don't know his mom his dad what they dealt with I Have a 15 siblings. Oh, yeah, so you're like you're in a similar position to my mom. My mom She so she's the legitimate child for her father But he has like 12 illegitimate kids And like she kind of had to like stuff makes they have a kind of weird burden of like like you don't know Who any of these people are they know who you are. Yeah, they'll kind of like bully you at school You don't even know that they're your brother or sister. Oh, that's weird Yeah, because I grew up with random people reaching out to me via Facebook via Instagram I am your sister. I am your brother. See that's that's like that feels like that feels at least like comforting Okay, here's the thing you would think you'd be comforting But we all have different levels of relationships with him come to find out I'm I'm at like a zero. Mm-hmm. There are some people Yeah, exactly and they want me to be a part of the family so bad It's hard. They're willing to do weird things like send my pictures to my dad Like all that conversation to my dad and then try to get me and my dad to reunite I'm like, I want that You need a choice. Yeah, and they don't realize I'm like he made a choice. It's not nothing to do with me I don't know why the burden is on me But so your comment back to your comment is based on southern Stories, you said so yeah, we were basing so I would say that there's inspiration wise We're taking like big inspiration from like three I guess like major TV shows if you were to put it like this also like one TV shows also a manga, but We primarily are taking a lot from you. You haka show very big You haka show fan. I don't know if you're into anime like that, but very big 90s anime About a young boy who becomes a spirit detective and that's like where I'm drawing a very big inspiration from for our comic because I want to do a southern take on that with kind of our version of like Like southern gothic tales and stories, monsters, magic things like that But from like a grounded and kind of like a southern gothic perspective. I want thriller based if you will so That's our first big main inspiration to kind of help Like layer these things in I like try to add a slice of life element just to kind of like help make the darker more gothic themes not so Like so like dramatic so we went for like we put our our setting as a Southern like a college town essentially a Gibson in college where I call it and we it's a fictional HBCU And all the students are kind of living this kind of slice of life tale in like the B-plot line We're like, oh, I mean I got to ask this girl out before the semester gets too far things like that, right? and then my biggest inspiration for that was Nine's black tea like not like black sitcoms like specifically a different world. That was like my biggest inspiration Also, I also just inherently living single just cuz I I do love Evit Denise Lee Bowser I think that she did an amazing job on both of those shows where she was just a producer and writer on a different world, but she had to actually show run and executive be produced Living single so I'd have to take a very big inspiration from like that style of like kind of comedy and like kind of like witty black humor or kind of like like kind of just like Kind of like funny, but like still kind of like family appropriate if you will not to say that I don't get inappropriate sometimes a little bit inappropriate, but that's why I second biggest inspiration and My third big piece is obviously I'm writing southern superhero stories. So for me one of the biggest Things that I loved superhero wise when I was a kid was heroes. It was this show on NBC about people who develop like genetic mutations and powers because they turn out to be superpowers Yes Yeah, and that was it was kind of like a grounded prawn time TV version of like the X-Men if you will and that show is Also extremely big inspiration for me. I would say that like all three of these shows are humongous inspirations and that like it's I love the interconnected stories within heroes like in heroes you'd have like you kind of ask yourself every question Who's the protagonist because it feels like some episodes hero some episodes It's Peter some episodes it's Claire hell even some episodes it's Nathan's trifle ass like it's like and like I love that Like you would have all of these plot lines kind of seemingly going nowhere in reality It was they were all kind of meeting in the middle coming from like this outer circular place And it was like they were like a family waiting to find each other this whole time Oh nice and like that's like a really big element. It's like there's like there's bigger themes at play They're bringing all of the people on campus together because they need to like stand together against a threat Yeah, and like there's definitely this wind against their back like pushing them towards their goal And it's kind of like my version of kind of telling a spirit world story because I am Creole So I wanted to kind of like do my own take on like spirit world and like and such That since you are Creole and you are writing, you know, southern inspired stories How does how much does your personal experience and knowledge and you know? Like for lack of a better word occult things spiritual things So though, that's that's a funny one not to cut you off I feel like I feel like I know where you're going with this so I'm I was raised a devout Catholic My mom is where those types of Creoles My mom She has holy water on every day your mom is not into voodoo. No, not at all My mom is very much the opposite of that tell us about that. We were because my mom I was raised as in a non-denominational church as a Christian Wishcraft what we call it is a no-no. Oh, yeah, it's a huge gonna learn me about it. Yeah talking about it I have tarot cards over there. I'm gonna freak out. Oh, yeah No, I I'll put it like this my mom is a little bit more understanding than the traditional southern Baptist or like a traditional non-denominational type Christian would or Protestant would just because Creoles are kind of similar to western Europeans where Patrons saints were used as a way to kind of eliminate their Worship with like their own deities and their own ancestors So Catholicism kind of has voodoo wrapped up in it whether they like it or not it does and It does yeah, like everybody like you'll have Loa who have represented, you know by these different patrons saints And like I I think that that's where it started right was me kind of being like, oh, okay so It's kind of cool that like, you know, we can talk about like pop a leg bubby and like Representative of like of like st. Peter cuz like This girl allegedly died cuz she tried to summon him and she didn't know what she was doing. Good luck And she was not not to be mean, but she was this white lady who was just like dabbling into voodoo like Calling on TV. She didn't know that You know, you got I feel like you got to come toward You got to like or not mess with her all I got almost respect for these CDs to not mess with them because I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I agree, and I'll put it like this. I'm I'm not necessarily very religious now But for me like hard I said engineering in school so for me I kind of took this Anti spiritualist kind of like I like this kind of like I need to kind of face the facts as like a scientist Kind of moment in my life for a little bit and when I kind of came out the end of that I still just was a very faithful person This like a very yearning for something beyond myself, and I wanted to tell a story that kind of does that Yeah, and I feel like that's what I'm trying to do here as I'm trying to like I'm trying to like take this idea of Something that's mystical mercurial. You can't understand it, and you're lucky if you can get a little bit of meaning from it Yeah, I'm trying to tear up on yeah I'm trying to take an analytical approach to the esoteric because I don't see why we can yeah And I don't think that you should be able to explain everything analytically But I do think that with a mix of like science Philosophy and like just a good amount of like religion slash like desert area like when you search Yeah, that's exactly exactly. That's a very very big point in my comic book. I don't I build that's the thing I picked up on Yeah, yeah, yeah very much so like I I get what you'll see even with the later issues But because I'm really embarrassing the lead right now as opposed to like what later on is coming with the comic because the first issues It's a very it's a very much it's like a thriller slash It's a dabble for medical racism and dabbles with Kind of where an HBCU sits just opposed to like the outside world how it's kind of like a safe-hating for us But once we leave campus, it's back to the real world, so it's I feel like all of those rap into Voodoo and into kind of a philosophical kind of platonic Understanding of like the world around us like I think that there are These metaphysical concepts to all these physical things that we're doing and that they can kind of one of my favorite ones is the As above so below. Yeah, and I really take that into literal me and kind of like You know like a poetic meaning as I look at it both ways. I'm like, what does that mean? Okay, does that mean that I am here and that I'm also somewhere else? Does that mean that whatever's going on somewhere else like let's call this spirit world? Does that whatever happens there first? Does it then happen in the physical world? I? Try to think about what exactly does that mean as above so below? It's like it's a principle Yeah, exactly. It's a because that's a very important part of voodoo is that like while it is viewed as a religion to some it's much more like a spiritual like Like belief system. It's kind of like a but it's very similar to science in that way. We're like it's kind of it's very Like in ambivalent. It doesn't necessarily it's not good or evil It just is and like you can use it to kind of guide yourself through the world around you because it's kind of very pragmatic in that way It's very misunderstood. Oh, yeah, like there's like if you think something's weird or woo-woo There was something that happened That made this practice pick up popularity because people perceived it as helpful to their environment Yeah, and what how I could think about it is like whenever a certain practice was developed or first started They must have had results They must have had results that happened again and again and this was their way of getting that result on the song but like I think about that like you can't discount these practice cuz I'm half Navajo, so we have our own Ceremonies were allowed to use peyote people think we just get high off of all the time I know there are certain people who are picked from birth to be like, okay, you're gonna be one of these spiritual leaders in our family and It's still up to those spiritual leaders to actually ingest the peyote and like when funerals come around they're the ones bearing the dead Because they can see Beyond our reality and make sure they're going in the right direction what you know when they're passing on so it's There's a lot of like misunderstandings about us about what we do that it's like double worship. Mm-hmm. Things like that American conversation. No, I just know I understand it did the same thing with my folks cuz with with Jim Crow They did it to the Cubans the blacks. Oh, yeah, everybody. They everybody got that smoke, man Yeah, everybody and back home in Louisiana. There's a pretty like there's a pretty substantial Native American population, but Because of Jim Crow What remaining population was kind of there y'all kind of got baked into the black community because of Jim Crow They kind of rounded up anybody who was colored or didn't speak English very well And he threw him into a school if you didn't speak English, they'd like slap your knuckles with a ruler Things like that the boarding schools. Yeah, exactly pretty much and like for us. It was you know, they were in the middle of nowhere Dirt roads in and out you are not leaving if you don't have a ride home So someone's gonna have to come and take you from there if you're gonna leave so it's and Like on top of that you have like for Creole folk We we kind of had an interesting juxtaposition where some of us were business owners some of us were people who Had privilege or were able to exist within the economy at large and when Jim when Jim Crow comes around It was like nothing matter now Obviously nothing ever matters whenever it comes to us, but does this sound still deal with the facts of Jim Crow? Oh, yeah, 100% they they they wiped out too many of us during it the there was a certain time period where if you were Creole and you lived in like central Louisiana They would just go and kill you in the middle of the night because they just thought that you were like for lack of a better word a Staying on the society. So it's It's the it's moments like that where you have these great moments of pain Right these great moments where like like the land had to witness our suffering and it remembers It remembers so I like to always this whenever I go back to my family and the reservation I'm always reminded of just how much the United States government doesn't give a shit about any of the needles because we still have any reservations, you know, and they've done a lot to like Make us look bad with because they whenever I like share with like a brush and I'm proud that I am not home They'll give me like, okay. Where's your casino money? I think we have all this money. I'm like what we're less than one percent of the population when we need to be a hundred No, I understand and like there's a there's a similar connotation because of the history that Creole's had people were kind of like Oh, I mean you probably have money man. It's like I need you to understand. It was just me and my mom growing up She was a school teacher. I wonder I wonder that's how Jews feel I don't know honestly because I think how much like the the whole like, you know, the money conversation pops up. Yeah, cuz that that that time To me that's racist and like it definitely it tells a weird line It tells a really weird line and it's like sitting at like an intersection of like races and yeah, I the way productive and not productive but like the way I I was just a think that Natives and Jews had similarities some some things in common genocide and Just like the erasure or like, you know of like history and things like that I feel that I feel I feel a similar way with Creole culture like, you know Like there's not many people in my family who still speak kori beanie or anything like that. So it's definitely I definitely I understand that I think that I have a well actually for something that you finished I cut you off. Yeah, I was just gonna finish with um I felt the pressure of carrying on my traditions even though we're in a modern Society Traditions as far as like cooking very important very important and um the language Passing it on and making sure it's still alive most of my grounded passes You know because I'm the oldest of all her grandkids So it's like I have I feel like this duty like I have to like you're leading a charge Yeah, I'm like not only that but like keep us all together. Mm-hmm. You know, you might you might be big mom one day You know that I I feel it because I decided everybody might be in your house on Sunday. Yeah, I decided that um Not to have children. Mm I um Big thing on the podcast. I don't know if you Caught it, but it's called the manic candies podcast Manic is a term to describe the condition behavioral of someone who saw him by polar who who has my polar disorder. I have I have it so And I got diagnosed when I was 24 And it was a shocker Um, type one or type two. I don't I don't remember I asked but um It's the one where I am In a depressive state most of the time and then you have like Then I have a ramp-ups of mania So I don't know which type that is more or two I don't know because it could the other one is like it flips. You're mostly in the mania with like slight depressive episodes but I'm mostly depressive but um with knowledge and with manifestation I'm able to live A normal life Relatively, I do have my moments But I should say that to say like I talk a lot about like mental health on this podcast I'm very open with my experience and my struggles and everything So do you relate to that in any way? Do you know anyone who the struggles are mental illness? Oh, yeah Yeah, definitely so and I know folks very very close around me who are very much going through the same thing as you Being medicated for multiple medications like on the regimen. So that way you can have You know whenever you're being too sleepy from your primary advantage, you might need to take an ADHD man to help with that, you know, sort of things like that Like you can tell when I'm like feeling it because I'll be on instagram all night. I just put it all day. I don't know But uh, you got some to say And like I utilize those moments to make episodes To do art because when I'm not manming man, it's really hard Because I'm an artist it's really hard to produce It's really hard to get out of it. I have a full-time job. It's really hard to do that And like I put myself in this small space specifically So that I could feel the pressure of doing art I wake up into my face Literally and it's like if I don't pick it up, but I've had too much space around me. I was living in a two-story before then If I have too much space around me, I get distracted. I get lazy And I don't feel the hunger Because to be a phoenix artist is a big deal because that's all we have The arts in here is amazing, dude Like it's it's inspiring Straight up Like when I moved here, I had sign on as an idea and it was just driving up and down the interstate with the mountains there It's like they're caught. It's like they're just like staring. You stare at them and they stare back You're surrounded by mountains in the valley. Yeah everywhere you look there's a mountain Yeah, and there was just something It was where I'm from. It's flat. It's super flat. You could see to New Orleans from where I'm from. I look three hours away So yeah, you're literally Yeah, and like there's something about There's something about here. That's just like it. You make sure you feel like you can just do it I know I know I know what you mean, especially creatively. I know what you mean like artists here. We we Okay, there's two types of spray painters One that grew up doing graffiti turned artists one that didn't And this was just inspired and started doing artists You had to have respect first and foremost for those graffiti artists Lalu Kota, Spock, one of the top two Muralis graffiti artists in this in this state started off as taggers in school So it's like you kind of have you have to respect that and for me personally and what I've gathered from the friends that I made in the art scene is that If you want to spray paint if you want to be good You're gonna have to practice. Yeah, and where you're gonna practice sometimes You know, Ernie wasn't always there with just plays You know, it's not always just but not all of us knew about just plays when we first started Um, by the way Just plays the smoke shop where we can practice spray painting in the back alley of the building And it's an awesome hangout spot and I go there every Thursday and I post what I what I do I didn't go there last night. I didn't either, but that's actually where I met you. Yeah, that's where we met and but My first wall was illegal Yeah, you gotta get it down. Yeah, there's there's there's there's a whole aspect of like Yes, you can do but you gotta make your own way. Yep. We have no one's and then like once you post your first picture And people know like hey, she can do this. She's trying to do this doesn't mean you get The respect and the recognition mode but you keep doing it and then next thing you know, you got your first legitimate wall. Someone's okay. You Big is big. It's a huge deal. The next thing you know, you're painting murals with all the big muralists and the Phoenix mural project Next thing you know, you're hanging out at grandad on first Friday It is just like you climb the race and then once you realize you look around and you're like, oh, I'm here Oh, I am You know, I worked hard for MD. Make you I worked hard for that recognition You know, I may have a hundred and like what less than 200 followers is what at thousands last year Got rid of all of them because I didn't feel like the community was our base. It was just marijuana Community base. I used to work in the industry So I got rid of all them. So not everyone who's on my instagram. They appreciate the art and I feel I just want to build it from there I feel that I feel that completely I I for me art comes from a place of just wanting to like finally do it when I was a kid I've always loved comic books like I I was obsessed with spider-man as a kid Power Rangers isn't my lifeblood What power ranger are you? Red maybe which mean big red ranger Crimson super studio is for a reason. No, I I feel that no yellows yellows important, especially because because I used to when we were kids No, I um for me it's For me the the the the want to create art when I was a kid was big but I wasn't necessarily the most technically talented but I I had like Like I wasn't really good mechanically, but I had like fun with color And I always had fun with like compositions and stuff like that and anytime we got to do like art in school I always like to major to really try and I have like moments where like, you know, like the like the local art museum would be like something at school and like They'll do like a prize for like the best thing and like I like like oh, you win. Oh, cool And it's like kind of like it's like a little nudge in the right direction But like you know with my background. I'm a schoolteacher. It's just us. I I think I was definitely raised to always just chase the bag. You know what I mean? And for me art I Didn't get to do this until I moved out here like straight up. I had I had some ideas for scion. I knew that I wanted certain things to happen Um, I had some ideas for certain abilities and items in the universe But as far as like actually being a writer or anything of the sort that would have been able to build this company Uh, definitely this wasn't there yet. And what did you move there as well? I moved three years ago. Uh, I graduated That's pretty fast. I didn't Have just a vision Wanting and then not knowing how you're gonna get there and then being here. Yeah, you know, it's Yeah, I have to move fast. You know what I mean? Like I don't have uh, there's there's it's like you were saying you have to respect the people who've been doing this Since they were, you know, they've known that what they that they've known what they wanted to do and they've been doing it And I've kind of just built up the courage to find they come out here and be like, hey, I want to be like you That's it. I know how you feel because when I was when I was um Trying to put myself out there as an artist I would say when I was in college around 2015 throughout 2016. I lived across the street um And I was going to school here across the street And I would make it my mission to find wallow I was like, I need to find him because he's like the number one here. I was like, I gotta find him. I found him I just went up to him. I was like, I'm your biggest fan wall of law Next thing, you know, he's like come to my studio And then he gave me a hundred dollars to buy him weed because it wasn't federal league. I mean, it wasn't legal here yet So I worked at this century. Yeah, I'm in Instagram. He's like here buy me some weed So he gave me a hundred dollar. They bought him like all these different types of stuff I thought he would like and then came to studio. Spock was there And then we all smoked it's like being my art show And I'm like, no fucking way So it's like he invited me to his studio like when he was painting so we could paint together and I got to know him I got to know his children and I got to know like just him as a person And then when he took me under his wing and then I just like every Every artist knows who here who knows who wallow is and just wants to be like him because it's like you see his skulls He's I'll show you after this, but you see his characters and then what they show you you be able to do probably drive home and see something Um, he's in the Diamondbacks stadium He does uh, we have a skate park in the west rally called D-West. He paints that I painted that with him. Oh, yeah, so it's like it's it's really it's really um Like I said, it's all Phoenix has Because we have Jordan Sparks Like 10 years ago 15 years ago. Yeah, uh, can't let a We have um the bro from she wanted to ask her and she was like, let's dance. Oh, yeah, let's dance She's from Easy. It was her name. Emma Stone. Emma Stone. Emma Stone's from Arizona And I'm from Arizona. Yeah, okay. I got some stuff out here. Y'all gotta give y'all some more credit out here You know what? Yeah, we got some fun. When you first moved here, was it hard for you to find like black friends? I have yet to find any friends Uh, yeah, I don't know. I'm I have a little bit of I have a little bit of trouble, uh, making friends. I'll take another beer Actually, I will be a trouble making friends. Unfortunately, uh, so why I like so my first I'm big into carbs So like when I first got here, I was like playing like magic to gather and you're like car shops like trying to make friends that way Well, I'll pop an extra version so we don't mess up your nails. Um, but um, there's Well, I was playing magic at the car shops here. It's just not the same like Fraternity that I'm used to back home like here. Everyone just kind of like shows up plays cars and they go home But like when I'm back home, it's like hey You're a nerd too Yeah, it's like I think a lot of people here are shy A lot of people who are here are not originally from here. That's true. Yeah, this is a retirement state very true Yeah, um, this is where the snowbirds come and stand their big mansions three months a year and then they go home And it must be nice. Yeah, and so like the schools aren't that good because no one's Like we're prepared to stay here and is invested in their community Like I said, we have a lot of snowbirds that come they stay For three months they leave but like their taxes, you know, they pay up holds the city People a lot of college kids because Arizona State University. I don't know if you know that's it's the biggest university in the Oh, yeah, as a person used to go to LSU. Yeah, so we are we're just the we're just the swampy version of y'all And we're actually doing sports Hey, we have football y'all are looking for talking football, but like we Our biggest competition is ourselves. So you obey. Yeah, yeah It only matters if we do you obey. Yeah, I mean, that's important. That's important. Yeah I mean, I don't know if you know about the tradition, but you obey and you see every year new freshman class whoever's uh, they Some people will drive up to a Phoenix or to be And paint our a blue That's on a mountain That's the biggest is respect. Oh, you could if you did that in Baton Rouge, you could shop So so so so We have to be ready every like new first kind of the first night of the year or like It would be the third month. We got to be ready To like push them off the mountain get the fuck out of here They'll fight like do something like we are we are so So down for our name That's kind of hard. I like that. That's kind of fun And like when you graduate it's it's took it in modern to pay your car Administration and get that son double plate. Mm-hmm get that vanity plate. Be like, yeah, bitch I graduated because it's like dropout rate for y'all dropout rate is so high. It's like 85% Yeah, she's really high too. We we went to a lecture. I actually uh I contributed to that dropout We went to a like we have to go to this lecture all of us No matter what school you're in in business school if you're in liberal arts doesn't matter You got to go to this lecture and it it's about our dropout rate It's about some of you're going to drop out because you're getting married You're going to have children. You're going to die or some of you're going to get sick That's I really wish I wish you would either That's it. I feel like that would like set the tone a little bit better It did because it made me it's also fair because when you drop out you wouldn't feel so bad No, it is fair, but it made me be like i'm going to be part of that 15% that graduates Like come hell or high water in hell or high water came. Mm-hmm. I had to go to rehab Damn, I dropped out of school and I went to rehab for a semester Then I came back and I graduated And damn, that's hard. Yeah Yeah, I was addicted to Xanax. I was addicted to Adderall It's a hard one girl I was using both at the same time. Honestly, like you're like you're up and you're going so my heart Yeah, it was working over time like does she want to go to sleep? She wants to stay up all day and she wants to go to sleep. She wants to stay up all day. It's called speedball Yeah, I figured out And because that's what the psychiatrist in rehab told me and I was like, oh so I'm like basically using heroin and Speed to like go up and down and go up and down. It was the heroin It was benzodiazepines, but like it was the benzo And I also sold drugs in college to pay for my apartment to pay for school um, my mother was bankrupt at the time not to make it like a Okay, but that's what I did to survive and like I It it molded me. It made me see the world differently for sure It became like a harder person inside, but then like I realized I was like You have a lot to lose You have everything to lose everything so I stopped and was able to find a job and like graduated and then kind of been in the work life like So one is to go to the hospital And I got a 147 out of 180 on the LSAT Didn't apply because I was like I don't want to put that foot forward because it's not my best I know I can do better and I wasn't ready um And then fast forward to now about to work for federal court hopefully But it took a lot I would say that to say that it just If I didn't have that lecture I wouldn't be here. I know what you mean. I that that's That's like you did a lot. That's really really impressive. Thanks for recognizing that because it's like Sometimes I don't give myself that credit. No, that's that's a crazy turnaround time Like you pretty much didn't you you made me took a half step I remember the day I went to my advisor's office and I said I have a problem I am an addict and I need help and they were like Yeah, absolutely like Yes, like we want you to get better like When do you want to come back like you're going out? I'm not just like I had maybe like 18 hours of credit hours that semester and I was like There's no way of reading three chapters when I have to come down Or when I'm tired or I want one of high. I don't remember what I read And like I I had always like Canada's this class is $3,000 for six months and like Girl, you gotta do something either you're gonna lose you're gonna be a loser like your aunt on the street Or you're going to um, you like your mom And do it because you are your mom. I would tell myself that like you are your mom You're a better version of your mom whether you want to Admin or not, but it's like I had Great grandparents that are dead that like I never met But I was always told that they wished the best for you because I was no mom's pregnant before they died There will she was like they always wish the best for you like that you'd be smart Are you being school sorry? I always remembered that and that's what got me through Saying like I need to take a break Taking that break or here we have like down the street on summer street And like coming back and graduating. I remember when I graduated I got in a car. I got my first DUI And When I got in the accident getting out of the hospital it was finals week So I remember like you were going to lose everything on the last week of school and I was like, that's not going to be you so bruises Concussion Everything I did it on my finals And I graduated And my mom she cried so hard Because I knew in her mind it was done She's not graduating No, I mean, I mean, I I understand trust me like I I dropped out twice before I finished I finished in another school. Tell me about that. Yeah, you need transferred And you spent a little time at the hbcu So it was like what kind of obstacles did you face in college that almost made you not Finish I was I went through a lot of stuff I don't want to get too into it just because as a as a business owner who sells you comic book I want you to understand that I am a professional boss. No, but you're also human No, I'm no very much. So like I said, you know, I dropped out twice before I finished college. Um, I went to school um in 2013 I went to a very small private school Nothing, uh, like you would see like nothing you would expect from a private school Um, it's very small and catholic And it's kind of just to make sure like the folks in the area who want to give their kids like a catholic education can It's like four grand a year, you know, yeah, it does not matter. No, yeah, it's not it's not it's not it's it's not that It's not what you think it is, right? It's not it's not gossip girl It's not out-of-state tuition. No, no, no, not at all and my mom's single parent was able to pay for it and It was because I was like the nerdy kid. I was like building computers. No, okay stuff like that Did you have scholarships? Uh, no, no, I didn't have school. I didn't have school. I didn't offer them. So, okay Yeah, yeah, because it was a such like, yeah, they're like we're giving you such a cheese. Exactly. Exactly. You better pay that shit and My mom she didn't get to go to catholic school. She went for like two years or three years and she was like an elementary Uh, and she never had to finish because that's when her parents got divorced. So um She always kind of like wished she could have like finished and gotten a catholic education So she made sure to give me one and when I went to college, I went to LSU, you know, I wasn't really that that's certain on it Um, but it's like the good school in my state. That's like a four like I yeah, I could have gone to two lane, but like New Orleans when you're 18 and you're from a small town? Not the best decision So I went to the other bad place, which is that usually no, I love back Rouge, but Um went there when I was 18 and it was two weeks after my best friend overdosed on drugs. Okay, and uh I'm sorry about that. It was it was very traumatic In the sense that like we had a really big night a fight the night before Um, because he had stolen money out of our wallets when we were sleeping Because he was nadict And I finally stood up to him because I'm going to college, right? I need to stand up for myself I need to sit things straight. Yeah, so I was like, you know, we're gonna walk outside. I'm whipping your ass And I ran on them hands Like three o'clock that morning. He called me. He's like, baby. It's what you let you know, bro. I love you, man No, I'm sorry. I was like, man. I love you too. But like what why the hell I had to beat your ass tonight, right? And I that's what drugs do unfortunately next morning. I get a call And it's bany come to Barton's house. He's dead and I'm like, oh Okay, so I my mom didn't really know what's happening. She didn't like me. She didn't like me driving I took the keys anyway. I took the car. I just had to go see for myself And I did and I wish I had and I went to school. I wasn't ready for it. Uh, I still did good though I had I was studying uh comp sci at first semester. I did like a three three, I think they're pretty good I'm taking like cow physics stuff like that, right and second semester I get like the big girlfriend first big girlfriend all that right dreams come true, right? And I like do the whole college thing and We changed I changed my major chemical engineering. Oh, wow So I was like, oh, I'm gonna do the real engineering. I'm just gonna be because my dad. Oh, wow. So Is your thought crossed? Does that affect your thought day-to-day thoughts like your tent chemical engineering background? So it's it's funny. I didn't I didn't end up staying in chemical engineering. I studied there for a couple years though And it's because I was studying biomolecular when I was over there and I didn't try to say you know what? You really want to do biomedical engineering like you don't like you don't want to fight countries You want to fight cancer go and fight cancer Did you take the as bad in high school? I did I got 91. How did you what was your rank Dina? You're ranking out of your school. Yes, I was 11 Okay, I was second nice and I didn't know until they started calling Damn, so you so you're like host libertarian so they they wanted um Me to come work for them the the military And I like kicked my mom in the ass like all the time Like why didn't you tell them I was available? Well, I would be making so much money right I'd be decorated Because but then I as I was going through college and you know like You know by then the afghanistan war was like 15 years in You know, but it was college it was in college where I it clicks 9/11 All the terrorists propaganda anti-Muslim propaganda like it really clicked Because I had fear errors in college and I was like this doesn't sit right with me why am I Why do I have? Unjustified fears against a group of people that I'm going to school with that are sitting next to people on the job I'm like, I don't and then once I started learning about the countries I started learning about how different they are from one another Um because I had a friend from Kuwait. I had a friend from Lebanon. I had a friend from Dubai I had a friend from Saudi Arabia. I had a friend from all of those places from Iraq And I'm like you are the coolest fucking people that I have ever met You guys have hospitality up the ass the food's awesome. The food's awesome. The dohada The tobacco they smoke is awesome. Like it's just like I'll turn down some yoga bro. Yeah. Yeah So I was all my fear melted away But I was upset that I had it and then he looks back at how I grew up And when the when we were attacked it was like we invaded them and then it was like Christians against Muslims Christians against Muslims and that's what nobody talks about is just that hatred Against one another more from Christians towards them. I feel like But like it was just a lie hatred and like no one really talked about that and like a lot of fear You know, like are they gonna bomb you? Do they have a do they have a bomb on them? Because they the news talked about suicide bombers every chance they got um It's unfortunate how much we have been given Fears that are not our own to hold And some my girlfriend's daisy. She grew up in New York, Stu Queens And when 9/11 happened her family moved to Louisiana So that's the reason why I got to meet her beautiful self when I was in college and There's something weird about the fact that like a group of like a group of Punjabi people who are from like North India Are being discriminated against to the same scrutiny as what the folks who are unfortunately under Islamophobia are It's it suddenly is You know, it seems like anybody brown who's wearing Some sort of head covering can get it. Yeah, and that's exactly what happened. Yeah after the onset like in thousand months thousand two thousand three is like you could see on the news like Woman attacks woman and hijab attacked Um, the sensationalism is just crazy. Yeah, just bad. Yeah, and like uh one thing about my country is that we See ourselves only at least you're ourselves first So like it didn't occur to and in anybody's brain they're going google To open a textbook to ask the question You know, what are you really about? Who are you really because I got the media telling me like we didn't scrutinize our media until dawn time the and like it feels like Media scrutiny is like a weird spot too because because we're now scrutinizing media now It feels like all the old channels that were considered You know contemporary and some we can trust are now Like obviously biased like it's obviously like it feels weird No, no, you can kind of it feels like we've like completely destroyed the bs filters and now he's kind of like got like a straight path but it's uh for me College like in that same sense of trying to figure out like how to deprogram my my bias For me it was trying to get rid of what you know ideology kind of creeped up on me in private school. You know what I mean? Because I'm from I'm from a completely black household. Um I know my dad and his mom's black. Um, but I mean, I don't know my dad. I'll talk to him all the time Like he was active in my life. It's been holidays and summers together Um, it says not like that in that instance But it is in the since financially like it was me and mom versus the world and like dad was said I'm in Dallas y'all will handle things in Louisiana and like That's his business. So I I always had this kind of position Because my mom is very much left leaning and that's a very nuanced take in Louisiana Um, I think my mom loves me that she's like the woman who got to like go and uh, you know She had to go and like learn about all the fun stuff because and she she really did She got to go and work on capital hill doing like political stuff when she was younger She got to go and like do like a fellowship over at Berkeley when she was younger and like for a woman Who went to a very small HBCU like dealer? That's like a very very big deal But my mom also does kind of take the she does love to believe that because she lives in such a red state that you know She has the she wouldn't got the good opinions, you know And she and I'm and baby. That's why I'm gonna tell you the good opinions and it's like, yes, ma'am I'm here to listen. I'm here to listen mom and like uh, my mom loves to like you know, she she gave me a lot of Passion for the people around me. She said if you if you feel weird about somebody just try and love them first Because maybe you won't feel so weird about it like I'm from a place where love can be you know, just kind of like Commodery or like having love for somebody. I got love for you. You know what I mean type vibe So try to see if you can have love for somebody first before you you feel bad about it And that's dummy well in life. I feel like I think we all should be raised like that in America Just trying to look it out first. Oh if we did that I feel like we've been more welcoming to people coming in the country. I feel like we'd be Less Hey, you want to fight a war? We'll help you out. We'll give you guns. We love guns. We love guns We love if you've been guns to people too. Yeah One of the reasons why I started this podcast was comedian Tim Dylan and one of his recent episodes He said that we should start killing the kids Who shoot up the schools? How do you feel about that? How do you feel about execution of children who murdered children? So Capital punishment is a hard one. I'm definitely I'll lean on a utilitarian age. I definitely think that society might need Capital punishment just because it is He leave the card off the table. People are going to start acting insane Yeah, and I do believe that society has the right to protect itself against grave evil and sometimes grave evil and ages of the devil can look like human beings. So It's a hard one I don't think that kids need to have I think kids are if it was ever a case for that they should spend their life rotting in jail I think kids are the instance for that um But it's there's always going to be a crowd of people who are like put them in the wood chipper and I think that we do need to Convince that crowd to be a little bit more compassionate of how that type of mentality can go wrong Um, suddenly everybody going in the wood trip is black Yeah, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? It's like how You look at the capital punishment usage over the last 10 years and it's like Wellingly black and it's like hmm. Okay. So Suddenly the lethal injection works if they have to kill a black person that month And they have apparently the supplies are no longer, you know out of like, you know out of demand I don't know there's there's a lot of ways that it's just always going to punish us if we do take that approach Which is why I am hesitant I I come from I graduated school at the criminal justice degree. Nice. Oh, so you're like john Yeah, okay. Okay. Uh special agent Yeah, so, um, my mom was a federal officer my whole life and The way I see is we need a deterrent and if we're not going to take away our gun rights, which no one's doing Um, every time movie gets brought up. It's a whole fucking thing. It's a whole issue You know and like and I respect people's rights. I get that And um, I respect my right and I and I do want that for myself and other people That makes our country our country. That's who we are. We ran from a monarchy You know, I may be native Guns to keep them away and we need to keep them away. I mean like Yeah So it's important for us to be able to have like the ability to protect ourselves exactly not only against the queen back then but like let's say A dictatorship wanting to happen here. We'll take them out as people. That's what I like about my country But I love about my country. I'll always support black people being able to have guns. Yeah, absolutely Absolutely because I mean gun control was because the black Panthers wanted to protect their neighborhoods. Yes, and then Ronald Reagan said no Bro, he was he was wild even when he was governor. Yeah, he was always wild and he was a bad actor Worst cowboy I've ever seen in my family. Oh my god But I say that I give all my background information and say that I do believe we should start executing these children Because in my eyes once you decide To kill People I don't care if you're a child. I don't care if you're an adult You're killing people And like this has been an issue in our country for the last like 20 years. I feel like 34 I mean I feel like these kids As a kid use hard for you to comprehend consequences You know these kids these days what consequence do they have for shooting up to school? I mean what you're gonna go to jail. Okay, but somehow a lot of these kids have took it themselves out And have had the opportunity to be arrested. So I feel like If we had one execution the first one because I bring this up because we had a reasonable shooting in Georgia Yeah, unfortunately I saw that Yeah, and I feel like every year this happens and with sandy hug, it really Fucking just ripped me to stress because they were elementary kids I feel like there needs to be a deterrent there needs to be a case that can be referenced for later trials to say that Hey, if you send a message to all these kids who are Thinking about it Who and even the parents because we're prosecuting this child's son for buying him the gun This one's crazy because the fbi was notified And so i'm looking at our fbi like do we need an overhaul in the department somewhere I i'm very beautiful at the fbi honestly, i'm very curious if your opinion is on I hope i hope that i hope you don't hope i didn't hope i didn't hope i didn't Hope i didn't talk to me punches No, no, you didn't you didn't and like I just Can't wait for more That means a lot. I really really appreciate that. No, I um to your point I'll play like this. I think fundamentally I think I would always Exist the opposite of wanting to execute children that being said If there was if I If we're in the war room and we have to make this decision, how do we implement this justly for society? I think it's and to be no get me wrong. I'm not in the legal system. I'm just an engineer Um, I just have conversations with my girlfriend who is in the who is in the legal room Um, but we're not anywhere near criminal or anything like that. She's not she's not specifically like a criminal specialist She's she specializes in contracts and things like that Um To my knowledge. I don't think we put kids on death row I think putting kids at the bottom end of the priority. We currently we currently don't unless they were trying as adults Yeah, so I feel like I feel like That might be an interesting concept What if we were to put them on because death row takes a long time of years usually it does unless you're in Texas Texas though, man. Yeah, you get like 11 months. Yeah, yeah, exactly. They said a year now attack now the taxpayers died I love Texas. I was born Dallas. So that's what my dad's from. So yeah, my um My brother I call him my brother. He's my cousin My aunt son who I was talking about his last name is cowboy And he was born in Texas. Oh, yeah, that's dope. Isn't that awesome? His first name is Christian. So I'm like you're so American. You don't even know like you're christian cowboy Like I'm a cowboy Like what the fuck? Like when he gets pulled over for the first time, they're gonna let him go Right So there's like this so this meme this dude his name is James Bond And like a cop pulled him over. He literally like dragged him out the car He thought he was like fucking with him. He's like, are you fucking stupid? And he just drags him out the car. So he's like, you know, it's my name It's my name Yeah To that end I think if we were to put kids on death row for extended period and then maybe gave them the option to present an appeal when they're 18 Does like maybe show reconciliation or contrition try to show Maybe like paying all them for as the families affected. Yeah, exactly Like building an education or like something that they could like showcase is them trying to they want to be here still They want to be a part of society Maybe we reconsider But like I I think we do need to I yeah, I feel like maybe just a longer road to that same end, but yeah, I could see I mean like I mean how old was how old was Dylan roof when he pulled that mess? I believe he was 15. Yeah, like you know what I mean? Like I've seen many of them So young gets filled with so much hatred, you know, I look at the parents. I look at the home And it's like what were you guys doing? Because there are there are signs There's a lot of pain in this world and when remembers that yes, and sometimes It'll just spit it out on the youth. I remember when I was in the church And I was reading my bible. I remember Not a verse, but like it was a story where god was talking to people It's not it was a verse, but it wasn't like one of those verses you spit out, you know But he was talking to people and he says that like the blood on the land still speaks to me So I think about like the natives and then all that land spotter and it's just like the land on the land still speaks to me It's like a shit stick Weird you say that because that was actually my final because we had a woman's course and I included that song because we talked about like All women in the 1950s the slaves You know the non slaves, you know, then People who were white people who were not white because it mattered like your experience Based on your color and that's just so weird that we are like, I think we're the only country like that Yeah, I mean, we're one of the only places that has it's like South Africa Well, South Africa doesn't it? Yeah, but but they're kind of on they wanted to find a way to Have their cake and eat it too while it's here. They we wanted to have Arms distances at all times it seems like and like not to turn to this out after your special. It's not special. It's just more so It's like I'm like covered right I'm Creole. I'm a descendant of the Jean de Cola libre the freed people of color And we're the direct descendants of people who are native to Haiti And we immigrated to the Louisiana and we essentially are second generation Creoles We where you have Haitian Creoles in Haiti. We are their descendants here on the mainland And we have a different Creolization. We speak a different language. It's very similar Uh, but it's hard to kind of talk between us though. Like there's just so many weird differences Well, there's too much, but it's Do you guys have names for each other from being so different? Well, it's just like there's like our version of Creole is a lot more Pragmatic than theirs like we kind of we learned from a place of needing to speak with our our family like to like the older generation So like for example, like the word for like bicep in Haitian Creole is the word for he-ness in coribini Because of it's a it's a throw it's describing the throb of the muscle because like a bicep talks out So that's what it's describing that action of popping up. Okay. Yeah, exactly. So like it's it's pragmatic But it's it's a step removed and like if you're trying to have conversation it might go be real confused like you're not a tailor you're like language Based on who you're talking to. Yeah, it's like kind of about two-nose and like tortas are like completely different depending on if you're like in like, you know If you're in like, you know, Mexico or like South America versus like the Caribbean. Yeah, you have like a sandwich versus like cake Yeah, like Navajo was Okay, cool history about Navajo language. It was never written down. Oh, we're never And people will argue with me on this and they'll think about what about World War II when with the Japanese? That isn't that isn't necessarily code of five though That's my point is because we told them the wrong english meaning to the word we taught them So they couldn't decipher our language against us once the war was over Ah, so you pretty much it's kind of like you just like saw the characters were coming close and you're like, mmm Yeah, I could I split the pages enough. I can read it. Yeah, very very sure they shorthand. Yeah, for example, like the word turtle We told them that the word Navajo word for turtle is twa And they use we taught them how to say and pronounce twa So in their mind, they're like all right means turtle so when they're talking to each other on the The radios or whatever in the Japanese spies are listening and say West 200 used twa The Japanese are like what the fuck does twa be? So by the take by the time they figured out which the war is already over You know, we bomb them the war is over like The made the United States come back and go okay. We have your language now part of it No, you don't because twa means water It doesn't mean turtle so how many of them swims in one Word for cannon the word for gun the word for attack is go like e 3% change in college It's easy. We we spun it on them So close up so when it war was over and they thought that twa meant turtle Come to find that if you try to like infiltrate on our culture or whatever It's still not written down Like you try to implement you don't know what the fuck is going on There's actually there's been efforts recently to try and codify Haitian creole and courty beanie there's been a lot of efforts to try and like you like do a lingo added vacation creole a while ago but like There's a lot of regional colloquializations that are just You go 30 miles outside of a certain village and Haiti and like these words just don't exist and like it's very specific to like the people who live there and like they want to try and do a similar thing there and Depending on the community some people are supporting just so that way like they don't get lost because you know the conditions are so So dire that you you might want to just not be forgotten. You you're in a position where you wonder if you're the tino people You're wondering if you're ancestors you get You know what i mean because that's like who our native american ancestors are on the island So and like that's who we inherited like the bit they from like it's our version of sacred geometry And like that's our that's what like the tino people gave us so that way we can try to like signify like the spirits want to be on right and like it's You sometimes wonder if things are gonna get so bad that you just need to leave something for the kids to And like that's scary that is scary and that's the You know my culture is so I hate to say this but we're so dead We're so gone that there's like I heard there's less than 1% population of native americans And that's not navos that's navos included with the sue with the um Apache with the with the rest of the federally recognized tribes and let's talk about the tribes that weren't recognized You know, you're no longer native. That's a huge deal Like me in order for me to be recognized as a native american to the federal government for me to get benefits I got um scholarships. I got free health care Um in order to get those benefits they had to test my blood to make sure it was at least 25 Because once you're not a quarter anymore, you're not native anymore That's crazy that there's a federal federal The definition of what yeah, that's crazy and then like That's how I know i'm like, okay, but you know you being an a and you being an alamo is a real thing They can test your blood and say you are that tribe. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. Yeah, no, it's It's it's terrifying to think about it. It's terrifying to think about how much power the government has ever It has that much power and it's and then I have to look at like our demographics today. I'm like You know, like they could do it to you They could do it's black people they could say once you're if they did if they really didn't want black people And like literally I think that they don't want natives at all that keep this blood problem there even though it's been 500 years We remind them Them as the government them as anyone who is like Period the United States like this is my country blah blah blah. We remind them our presence That that's not true This isn't your country. You weren't here first. No, like You are being American. What does that even mean because we as a people we have the argument saying like you're not Who you say you are? No, I know what you mean and like I Crayole creole, right It's a Portuguese word. It means made here And it's meant to describe the people who were born in the new world colonies that were not from europe but they weren't necessarily strictly african slaves or native americans and What because creoles is an ethnicity like I'm a black creole. So I my race is a mixed race so i'm black and white but my What I present as is a black creole because where i'm from if you're black at all You're black and that's because of Jim Crow specifically so And not just because of the the one drop rule not necessarily mentioning that i'm more so mentioning the the phenotypic scrutiny where i'm from You mentioned earlier talking about when you first went to college It was the first time that someone called you lights came for. Mm-hmm That was just something that kind of took you a back because it wasn't something that you really You didn't describe that. I never called light skin in elementary middle school high school no one singled me out for being A half So I was um at a party And this guy wanted to get my number And now looking back analyzing it. He thought that calling me light skin was a compliment. Oh, yeah I thought he thought was banger. Yeah And I looked at him and I said i'm black. Yes, and then it clicks i'm like To some people you're not that black or you're just mixed or you're not full black but like and but also being put in a category as only black when I was little like It doesn't matter if your half is like your hair is so nappy or curly your nose is still wide your lips are still big It's just like you're black, but when I got called light skin and it really took me back I'm like so wait in telling me and this was obvious to the dark skin girls But like to to someone like me. I'm like you're telling me like you're categorizing us you're separating us Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. There is this it seems like we're saying it seems like america and like south of like south africa Have like this weird Racial taxonomy where like we have to kind of group people together based off of like Like yeah, like how we do with asian americans. We just kind of lump them all into the same group even though That includes both my girlfriend and folks all the way as far as mongolia or china or japan Yeah, uh, and now to be fair there is you know east asian versus south asian, but it's you know what i mean? What you're in america. This is suddenly. Oh, so where are you from? Okay. Yeah, so yeah It's like you have to have the directist in america for real care You have to have a direct experience with the asian person or asian family to know the differences And like it's there's like it's such It is such a blessing to get to to learn those differences like I my best friend when I was in at lsu Well, one of my best friends because uh my my best friend is cortez. Yeah, uh his name is cortez brazil Courtney and cortez were like we were running buddies bro and Cortez was funny because like Cortez's favorite job Yeah, brother. That's crazy how they do us light skins and like Cortez's like comfortably brown skin But it's money's right though. If he came out here, but Cortez would be like everybody be like, oh Cortez brazil That's like a cool name. Yeah, bro. What's what's up? I'm just Cortez. It's like it's Cortez is just like you just black creeo, bro He's all exotic. No, yeah, exactly out here his name makes more sense. I guess because back home Why are you made Cortez? He's like because my dad is named Cortez Here Cortez is what we call a certain shoe style word type of shoe. We call it the Cortez's. Okay. Okay. What type of shoe is this? It's um it's like We associate it with like a gangster. Okay, like it's a good thing. So like like we're talking like we're talking about the pepper stepper type things Sort of? Yeah, okay. Yeah, like what we're talking about? I'm thinking like you guys keep it clean. Yeah, okay So you're getting them like like they're treated like Nike Air Force's back in the day Like that's how they're treated out here Cortez. You wear them with the long socks. Okay So if you see a guy on a bike, he looks real gangster. He's got long socks. He's got a Cortez's It is like okay, it's a gangster. I need to like come correct him like because he's got Cortez's But yeah, no like no like so like my friends grew back in it LSU, bro Like all right like one it was like me Cortez and then like our friend Jesse and Jesse's Korean and like Jesse He's like the flex type Korean. I just if you like what you know about fucking love Koreans and the Chinese Because at on campus because they had fashion that we Either didn't have yet the drip man They had it and I was like damn they could they've all roll up in their Mercedes and like they're fucking all their fucking high-end cars And I'm like damn look at your shoes No, it's it's no it's fire, but he used to like he had like a burglary coat Yeah, it was fire in the class like that like it's hot. Yeah. It was great. He bought a fur jacket once just because like what not It was it was insane Yeah, and he was dripped out and like He got to like we got to like he showed me like Korean television He showed me like k-rap and k-pop like back in the day like um I'm not necessarily like, you know, the the traditional fan of k-pop. I'm kind of like a little bit more. I love strange kids I'm up. I'm up. So this is probably basic, but like the reason why I love him is from a non-basical But I'm definitely a big junk hook fan just because like he's he's like he seems like he's like a student of Michael Jackson Especially like his video set up. He's really dancing. Yes, he's dancing super freaking good And like that's like like I watched this. I watched that seven video. Yeah I'll like I'll like pour a little bit of bourbon and it's like kind of like this dance around the house like like I I do and and that's like it was kind of fun to realize that like in in like, you know Kind of like half a world way over in like Korea that like there's these folks who are like Taking inspiration from black culture because it definitely comes from black culture Yeah, and like sometimes sometimes I do turn a side-eye to some of the k-pop performances But like, you know, then you'll see like black paint come out or like you'll see like junk hook And you'll be like, okay. Yeah, we're doing good. No, we're doing good Does this this stop eating out to nashay's bag which all are doing good It's but it's by one quong. It's all I'm gonna say it's all I'm gonna say No, but it's you're right though. Those nuances in American like in like American Asian culture is Very wide, especially if you compare Jesse to jazz. He was also in our friend group My girlfriend and like, you know, she's over here like the dynamic between the two of them Her being Daisy and him being Koreans always so fun Because like they want to kind of like not necessarily one up each other But they want to kind of like they want to kind of like play the game kind of similar to how maybe like light skin and dark skin people Will kind of play kind of caddy kind of fun. Yeah, and it's just like it's it's all good spirited You know what I mean? And it's like it lets you know that they care type thing and like You know, I think that When it comes to the light skin it talk, right? So me being Creole where I'm from There is a million in one words you can use to describe some body light skin You got like where I work like you got yellow bone. You got red bone. You got Like you have a whole bunch of terms like you you could be like where I'm from you would call like my mom Like honestly, even you you would be considered like high yellow You were just high yellow. It is it's almost like high elf That's not always because like every time I play it's got a amount of always is considered Like if you're high yellow your little bougie little uppity That's how I was perceived. I was perceived as the rich girl and I'm like Really? Oh, no, I can understand that Hillary banks. My last name is banks. I don't like they'd be like Hillary banks And I'm like it took me a while to go on youtube. You're like, I'm sorry Well, I watched it, but I was I was I wasn't like okay, Phil Yeah, that's fair. That's fair. Like I was I wasn't like that until like Comprehending like paying attention because I had ADHD but yeah faces the name. Yeah. I'm definitely a faces person She was like oh my god, you know Daddy, I was like that with my mom. I was I was the only child We were rich but like now we are But we weren't rich back then. Shout out to that. Yeah. I love Brian. I love rich color people My mom She was the first one to go to college and her family in the indie family and so it's like she um was able to Make a life for herself an abundant life for herself and for me Thankfully and thankfully, I'm the only one she shares resources with I mean, who's gonna love you like your mom? Oh, yeah so um She's recently retired. So she's got like boo-koo many Yeah, so I'm like I'm like really blessed with that But like I always had the latest cell phone. I always had a new pair of shoes They called me a Hillary banks. They called me rich and I was like, okay and then When I started having friction with black girls like I think that Other people's perceptions like influenced how we treated each other I don't feel like there was hate ever between me and other black girls that were darker than me I feel like it was I feel like we were both feeling at the same time the projection of other people's opinions about us because there's Because like once I look back, there's going to brighten me. There's going to sparkle and I'm like if it wasn't for outside opinions would we Would we have fought? No, I would would we have disagreements because now I'm back and I'm like One of my best friends named Gabby and she's dark skin And I'm just like I hate saying that like dark skin like I hate saying it's a weird. It's a weird notion I just like I'm not trying to be that they're just my friend like no I'm definitely recognizing of like whenever like like I'm not going to just leave you out in the lurch I'm not going to like put you in positions where like you know what I mean like that but No, it's it feels weird to like sit here and be look and have to like Explicitly say things and then and I and I do feel like there was there never True hate between me and dark skin girls. I feel like it was always society's views Imposed upon us. It's like and we didn't even realize that since we were a little girls I think for me. I was For me, I've always had a somewhat interesting relationship with black man Just because one my father's white and my grandfather is He is a role in stone Creole and That's not to say that he's not he's not a great man in his own right. He was a last bear Thank you. Don't say it for me. Okay, I appreciate you. Yeah, um He's he's a good man in his own right. He was a very very famous business owner in the area He's one of the first black men to get to be a stone store owner and art Yeah, he made the paper for it and everything might be hung it up in the house. Like why still you had it? It's a big deal. He was a big deal. Unfortunately, he decided to Take himself too seriously and there's I say this because there's an interesting burden with the Creole community and that like we do have this kind of History of being able to jump the line if you will Because of the fact that a lot of us are light skin or a lot of us do come from a position of having wealth or old money even though we are covered And for me I've always just kind of felt a little I think when I was younger I because I can firmly say this. I think that I was a little bit of a disappointment to the black men around me just because I wasn't the brother they needed me to be I was a little boy And then like I would I would be whining about things. I wanted to play the game boy Yeah Me growing up. I had a lot of interests um music literature That were considered not black. Oh, yeah, we wake up with you. Yeah I would get called white all the time daddy is white. Oh, you have to understand everything If you see mark bandi doing something it's white people shit. That's how oh my god Like oh, I'll take that bird. You know why I just because and me and jazz talk about I'll take it too because it's like White people can't have everything they can't have everything and it's like they don't deserve all this No, and it's like look at what I can show you guys that came from whites or was white I love like I said power rangers a little by man Music I love heavy metal and like you know, I love like sailor moon as a kid Oh, I used to I remember I still remember watching the sailor relax. Yeah, like to not be special of the movie Uh-huh. I still remember watch like I mean like you see Naruto. I used to get bullied for watching as a kid Everybody's like why are you watching Naruto? Candice why are you wearing bands? Right like it's there was a there was a lot. It was a lot. Yeah, I remember my style was a little bit off And also I'm like I think that I had to grow I like color you know, and so you know, I'm I'm trying to just like wear stuff that fits I'm not really good at like pairing stuff together for my because my body type needs some of this kind. It's like it's Straight-fitting I'm built weird. I need something. I need something. This is gonna fit me right So playing with all the extra stuff and everything baggy or clothes. I'm trying to look bigger than I am. All right So I I think for me I don't think I've ever been at odds with a brother in my life. I think I've been annoying like straight up and I'm willing to admit that my ass is annoying because at the end of the day I got to grow in like I got to grow in like families embrace or in like Kins and big Kinships embrace if you will like you know, if if it's if we're at school and I'm a little bit too eager to be friends Because like there's just no other black kids in the grade, you know, we go rock with Mark You would have say he's a little bit easier, but we're mocking with Mark And like I think that's what's I think my favorite part about it all is that like because for me You have to tell people I'm black That's very because I I even asked you. Are you black? No, I'm like I am I am very pale. I will admit that on top of that I have blue eyes Um, and you know, I my mom's an English teacher. She Kind of we're from woods. She wanted instill in me not having an accent to an extent No, I still think I'd develop when I have a little bit of a draw on my opinion that kind of pop up when I was in Jackson uh, and I For me It's always gonna feel weird to explain who I am But like the world doesn't give a fuck about you If you have to just explain who you are from time to time and like people are still cool with you like You some words and like that's what I think I'm kind of growing into Especially moving on here because like back home everybody knows Walk into a gas station everybody knows especially with my hair. It's obvious, but like over here y'all act a little brand new y'all also have like access to like non black colored people like I could see some of them mistaking you for like Puerto Rican Mom, I mean like to be fair. I mean the minikin I mean the minikin's are really just the other side of it to you. So yeah Don't tell them that they won't listen. They'll shine salsa away from it, but I love you the minikins. It's not like that I have a few podcasters and creators that I like that are um Haitian and the minikin So they sometimes talk about cruel things like This one girl is her name is the Mademoiselle And she's all about like Haitian culture And she like debunks things that like americans would call Satanism or like something like that and she'll just be like No, like this is our cultures who we are where it comes from. This is what it means So I like that about her and I like that about the culture. That's awesome Um any last thoughts did you want to touch on? So I do have some I do a little rapid fire and sort of work through some questions We can like end them one. I'll just do some little I'll do some quick ones for anybody interested for scion I'll do a quick little pitch. Uh, yeah, I'll plug it in. So society number one. It's based on a Southern hbcu campus. It follows a life of john lewis. He's an aspiring detective who's discovered a corporate conspiracy on the college's campus Uh, he's trying to uncover the truth without getting caught in the crossfire if you're a big fan of tv shows like heroes or uhaka show or a different world Make sure you tune in uh, we're currently live on kickstarter and you can just find us by this typing in ps. Iowin and we'll pop right up Uh, that's mostly all you need to know about us. Uh, 48 page is full color for any of the comic narrative in the in the in the views so I'll start with uh, oh, so we talked about inspirations for scion themes Uh, talk about what made me want to write comics Um, so just to say I am a graduate of jackson state university. Uh, I dropped out of lsu twice Uh, once my girlfriend decided to go to law school in jackson I decided to reenroll at jackson state because I always wanted to try and get an hbcu education since my mom went to one Uh restarted there and biomedical engineering and I wanted to tell her a comic book story on an hbcu campus I wanted to try and put that world in the comic so I wanted to so two points. I'll make two big points The first one's about kickstarter because that's where we're currently launching. So yes Talk i'll talk about what it basically is briefly. Um, it's a crowd funding platform where creators can Pitch our ideas directly to you and you can back us kind of like a pre-order while we're still in development We can give you um prototypes Um previews all these different types of things And you can pretty much back us for reward. You just come in give us some money And when we're fully funded and we've completed production We just send you your reward in the mail and you get to have some like really cool stuff on the low that nobody else adds So it's kind of like investing. Yes very much so you're definitely investing in our company while we're still small And we kind of need seed money from people who actually love us in care about us That is awesome because you know a lot of us have Ideas and you know angel investors or an investor is like our dream Oh, in fact just being able to work like a renaissance artist and have like a patron like it's a big it's a big thing and being able to kind of put the hands of production into the artists and the creators and be able to fully own things ourselves Be able to give this to you without having to go to a big producer or a big distributor Um, it really just lets us give you something that is fully us And I love that about it. That's awesome Um, it's really allowed for specifically indie creators to be able to really really empower themselves and move forward And there are problems with the platform for anybody who's been on there There's a lot of innocent W books not to not to infringe on those folks. They tell great stories There's a lot of good ones, but there's also just a lot of a lot of clutter if you will and it'd be really nice if we can maybe not use stories about women to profit our our our future engagements and comics Um, so that's why I want to talk about a kickstarter. The last topic I want to end on which I actually need potatoes is I wanted to talk about what does it mean to be a black comic and how Black indie comics have been pioneered up to this point specifically with milestone comics. I'll start there. Are you familiar with milestone comics? No. All right, so A few good brothers in the 90s specifically big notable people Dennis Cowen and Dwayne McDuffie They decided to create a black comic book company called milestone where they were going to make black comic book superheroes that were Unyielding in their storytelling. They were going to tell stories about us and they weren't going to flinch when it came to the hard topics and This they I think the original vision for milestone was for them to be able to try and fund this all internally or with like investing But they were eventually able to find a house or like a home I suppose with DC comics and they were able to work as Essentially an imprint I think similar to vertigo Um, they were able to kind of work outside of the DC universe, but with their publishing and distributing channels um And milestone was a big deal. Um, specifically because they gave us a superhero that you probably know very well if you like Cartoons as a kid. Are you familiar with the cartoon static shot? Yeah. Yeah, so Virgil Hawkins static He is one of the premiere heroes of the Dakota versus the original milestone run and He's a big big inspiration for for my current comics all the milestone comics is because these brothers Put the means of production into our hands. They gave us comic books that looked like us They were drawn by people like us. They were colored like us even to a fault Sometimes just so that way we look the best in the comic book and like They did it with I feel like shoestream budgets at times despite the fact that they look so good and there's Unfortunately tragedy and fallout that comes with milestone because Eventually just because of how hard it was to quote unquote sell black comics Um, they made this amazing poster that was supposed to essentially showcase all the characters within the Dakota version similar to anything You see from marble or DC something just put in the front window, right? And they couldn't get comic book shop owners to put it up Even though it was even though they got a very prominent white artist from the main comic book industry to pin essentially giving it a cosign so We had this moment where there was a rejection of the culture by The the industry if you will. Yeah, and that that perpetuated itself eventually milestone Stops producing comics. Um, Dennis Cowen eventually Dennis Cowen keeps drawing for DC because he's brilliant He starts drawing with question things like that and believe Batman also. Wow And the way we've got he goes on makes that a shock. He goes on to work on Justice League unlimited and he also helps co-create Bintan Yeah, super sick and then unfortunately he tried to pull you past his way. I believe the 2011 Um, and it was just unfortunate, you know, if unfortunately, you know, it feels like He was like brothers that looked like me pass away in their fifties a lot um, but He was a all-star and he inspired people like me to want to go out here and make comics convergals everything to me It was spider-man spider-man spider-man until I saw a stack suddenly I can be spider-man and I don't have to hide my face to do it and there's something super cool about that. Yeah It's that conversation of black comics Right. What is a black comic? Is it a comic that has black people in it? Is it a comic that focuses on black politics on black life? Is it for a black audience? It's something that me and other black indie creators ask ourselves a lot. Mm-hmm We ask ourselves are we making black comics first or are we just making comics that have black people in it? And for most of us the question is definitely We're making the art first It being representing of the black community times second And I definitely I respected them for being able to do that I think that it's very important to not let The industry Reject your art whenever we finally have, you know, the power in our hands with kickstarter and things like that But I do think that I somewhat sit and take the arc over that. I think that because of how I look I want to make black comics Quote unquote. I want to do that. That's why I'm making comic books And I let me show you saw from cyan like I I want to talk about the hard stuff. I want to make stuff that's Joyful that's that we get to laugh about the good days in the bad days. It's life. Mm-hmm. It's like the original milestone comics and I understand that we don't Not all of us need to do that And I don't and I don't want that burden on us But I do think that I am somewhat proud to say that despite the fact that I am a lily white brother with blue eyes And a white daddy from Texas Texas I'm very proud to say that I am still able to make black comics. Yeah, I love that man And I'm willing I I want to tell these comics and I want to read y'all's comics because I don't want y'all to have to feel like you have to do Everything that like milestone comics was burdened. What's doing? Yeah, it's almost like being the first almost and like Being black. So after that pressure of being native. It's like any space I go that I'm that I like Carve for myself. I almost have to say like Like your native is an accomplishment It's almost like well, why can I be Black too or both or mixed or American. I definitely view race Logically as an and gate not an exclusive or I am both white and black and I accept Whatever that whatever that comes with Blackness isn't a monolith and not every black person is going to have the interests of another black person And I don't think it's necessarily right to dissolve the blackness of a Biracial person just because of the fact that they are like that now to be fair Ooh, I I do not support all you biracial people I will be the first I will be the first to say I do not support all y'all's wrong some biracial people have have They need to they need to I'm not saying they need a bad experience But I remember the first time I got called an N word Carve are by a stranger. I was in the light rail. I was holding food You black bitch. You don't deserve to have food You're a nigger bitch. Like you don't deserve to have food You need to give that food to me right now He was like very very like commanding. Uh, I started crying Because I was just like what and my first client for a mural called the nigger. Wow So I'm not saying we all have to have that experience as biracial people, but oh no, I wouldn't say that So I'll put it like this That's a word. I've been being called Since I can remember anytime someone gets a little kid like me alone and they know they can say it they are going to do it and they're gonna They're going to try it and it's just how the world works where I'm from and I I feel like I'm not necessarily desensitized to it But I do know a lot of folks who they hear it plenty and it doesn't help Unfortunate and it sucks, but and I I do it what in my opinion I think possibly like the best rehab you could have Is like if you're black go to an hbc bro Just go listen go listen to the band At a football game or like you don't even go on youtube go font Go listen to southern university the human jukebox. That's the name of their band. They're so they're so damn good They call themselves. Excuse me. They call themselves the human jukebox And they are they are that damn good. They are the best in the world. Wow My band from my school jaxon state university my alma mater we call ourselves the sonic boom of the south And we are number two to them. They are Toyota. We are Honda and wow We are vegeta and you know what they can book us, but y'all can't That's how I feel like Go go fall in love With black culture go to the place where you just get to go and be black nothing else Just black there's a black and it's not even like it's you don't have there's no there's no burden to be black kind of agency can so just want to make them we're talking about the you spoke earlier like did you necessarily feel like when an agency you Can't visit you feel colorism. Yeah, I don't think I did I think that I think everybody saw that I was talking in class and they was like oh Yeah, I want to know that brother like it was it was it was a real community if you if you put yourself out there It's small enough to where people are gonna if you're gonna get invited in If you study circles things like that like if you want to make it you're gonna find friends and like for me I think like, you know, you're gonna get you're gonna some comments. You know, I'm gonna be some straight jokes I'm real. I'm real pale man. I I feel like the jokes make them sell the signs Like light right don't describe fluorescent beige beyond saying she this is this is how this is like Like this is this is the Creole banshee woman Talking about it like Tina. Yes this nose. Yes. Yeah, I know me. I miss t. I know me. I'll say I know that Also, I know that she did not wrong about the misspelling his stuff my my grandfather Uh roll the stone. Mr. Her biome He's twin He Him and uncle Oliver uncle Oliver's a biome with two ends like be on france. We're bions one in They just said walk one off You don't need to and they if you complain they say you'd love you to get a goddamn versatility They're not Katie's and so like it's when I think about how much we go through Yeah, it's it's it's it's especially out here. It's a knock It's a knock out of left field when somebody hits you with like the like the light skin or the especially if you grew up here like non-south I can I feel like the West version. I mean the west side of the country versus the east side It's a lot more black Predominant on the east side Which you split us down the middle because I can't it's pretty late. There's a lot of black folks out. Oh, really? I don't hang out in chanler. Oh, yeah, I mean, I'm out maces. Yeah No, there could be some more black folks out maces, but no channer and gilbert. You can surprise There's a good east amount of black folks out there and he wants to get to downtown There's a really good amount tippy not that bad either But yeah, once you start to move up the valley and starts the drats we try to change north valley is not like that No, there's a lot of uh families white families in the north valley. That's where I moved from I was a very I I buy the north valley. It's a very good place to push the money nice. Nice. Um It's developing. It's a great place to push us where I'm where I'm living um But to cut it on this any last thoughts and you will have you know check out scion Oh, yeah, definitely check out scion Uh, if you love detective thrillers if you love Slicing wife college stuff if you like a group of characters being kind of driving to a deeper darker narrative Uh and kind of hoping to god that someone helps them come check it out nice So thank you for coming on the mannequin this podcast. I appreciate your time You guys check out scion in the links below in the description and I bid you a deal my friend. Bye. Bye Peace!