(upbeat music) - Welcome to Non-traditional, the podcast for unconventional stories of living boldly. You're not alone in choosing the pathless travel. Me, Sarah, and myself, Bailey, your guides through the fascinating world of unconventional choices. Each week, we dive deep into the stories of individuals who've dared to defy norms and live boldly. Why? Because living authentically shouldn't be the exception. It should be the rule. We're two rebels with a cause, to amplify voices that often go unheard. With some sharp wit, fearless attitude, and a whole lot of curiosity, we are here to challenge the status quo and encourage you to embrace your unique journey. (upbeat music) - I don't know if I told the story about wrecking my car. In Nashville last time, I first moved to Nashville. This was actually kind of like, one of the ways that I made a friend is I totaled my car. The day that I had met the first person in Nashville, and we were supposed to go out, and I had to call her. I was literally on my way to her house, and I was like, "Hey, I know that you don't really know me, "but I'm standing out of room." So I totaled my car. So can you come get me? Oh shit, and that's how we became friends. How did you guys meet like bumble BFF or something? I met her at work that day. We were doing like our orientation for new grad SLPs 'cause we were both working for National Metro Public Schools. Oh my gosh, that's wild. What's another crazy way you met someone in a new city? Bumble BFF actually, like the best, like bumble success story of my life. At least my friend Morgan that you met, we met on Bumble BFF. Oh, that's awesome. My best friend Caitlyn and I met on Bumble BFF in Salt Lake City, and say I'm the best bumble success story ever. And then we ended up moving from Salt Lake City to Dallas together, who didn't live together, but like we moved at the same time. And now I'm trying to convince her to move to Florida, but I'm like, "Hey, I want Morgan to move to Florida for sure." Yeah, we could like raise our little babies together. Okay, so I get asked all the time, people are like overwhelmed with the idea of moving to a new city, especially alone, especially as a single female. What do you think helped you? How did you decide to move? Where did you decide to move? How did you find a place? How did you make friends? How did you find a new hairstylist? All that stuff. So the first time, I've done this three times. The first time that I did it, I was fresh out of grad school, and I felt like I had just outgrown Oklahoma. I felt like I knew so many people there, and I couldn't go anywhere without running into people that I knew. And I was just craving more. And I've always loved to travel, and I went to Nashville on spring break of, I think my second year of grad school, and just fell in love with it. And the show, Nashville was like really big then, and I would be lying if I said that that didn't impact my decision to move there. And I don't know, I think growing up, I always wanted to be faithful, or should I twain? And so it just, I always loved the idea of it. And my mom was huge on, like her motto was like the time's gonna pass anyway, so you may as well just do it. You can always come home, but if you sit there and think about it for two years, you could have been doing the damn thing for two years. And so it was really, really fast. I, for the first time in my entire life, had no plan. I had no idea what the hell it was gonna do after grad school. And I had interviewed with Nashville public schools in like March of 2014, and heard nothing. And so I was like, well damn, I guess I didn't get the job. And then they called me in July, and they're like, hey, do you still want a job? We're doing second interviews. And so I did a phone interview, Tuesday morning. They called me back 45 minutes later, offered me the job, and I was like, I don't even care what you're paying me. Yes, absolutely, love it. And that was Tuesday. My sister came and packed everything I owned on Wednesday. I did everybody's hair that I knew that I was doing their hair. I did it Wednesday, Thursday, and then Friday we left. And I was living there by Friday night. It was so fast that I didn't, I had a place that I thought I was gonna live. I didn't have assigned lease whenever I got there. It was now looking back and like, oh, that's kind of scary. I had like $800 to my name. Yup, you know, brush out of grad school. Kind of had a job. I don't even think I had assigned contract at that point. And my mom, I remember her being like very hesitant about me doing it. She wanted me to go, but she wanted me to go and do my fingerprints for the school and get assigned lease and check it all out and do all of this prep work. And I was like, no, I'm just going. I'll figure it out whenever I get there. And so hands down the best decision that I've ever made for myself. I love it. Yeah. I feel like we're both very much, we'll figure it out when we get there people. Yeah, we're quick start. What do you think? So, Nashville, was it Washington? Mm-hmm. Yeah, Dustin, St. Pete, right? Well, I went back to Oklahoma in between Washington and Dustin. But the moves to Nashville, Washington and Dustin, I didn't know anybody that lived in any of those cities. Well, yeah, really the state. I knew you, but we were more acquaintances then. But I didn't know anyone that lived in Florida, Washington, or Tennessee, whenever I moved. That's awesome. What do you think you learned from the first move to the most recent move? Anything? I feel like I've always thought no one gets a handbook on life. No one gets special instruction. You just figure it the fuck out. I think you're the same way. You just figure it out. And moving to Nashville showed me that you really can't do that. And then you can do it successfully. You don't have to have this grand mapped out plan and strategy. And all of the details, you can just move. And one of my favorite sayings is action reads clarity. And so, by taking the first step, you know what the second step should be. What if there's something about forward momentum that once you start moving, I feel a lot of things start coming into place? At least that's from my experience. So how did you meet people in the other states? So Washington was really hard. I lived in a little town called Lacey. And it was outside of Olympia. And the hospital that I worked at was in Centralia. And it was very rural. It was very small. I don't know, maybe a 50-bed hospital. So it was very small. And everyone that I met, they were married and/or had children. So it wasn't like we're doing lots of happy hours or anything like that. And I feel like I had friends, but they were my friends at work. So honestly, when I was in Washington, I did a lot of exploring and traveling with just me and my dog, Betty, a thrower in the car. And we would just go drive and find what we would find. And had a really good time just on my own. But I also had people come visit. And I think that helped me get out and explore more. But I had one friend that I made through work that we would hang out occasionally outside of work. And it was only a six-month contract. So I feel like I wasn't really forced to make friends because I'm pretty good at hanging out on my own. And then in Destin, I met Morgan through BumbleBFF. And she moved three months later. So we only lived both of us in the same city for three months. And then it was five months where I felt like I didn't have any friends. But that was also the first five months of building my business. And so I think that that was kind of a gift because I hunkered down and just worked my ass off for five months. And at that sixth month, I was able to leave my full-time job. That's awesome. Yeah, you're able to kind of focus. Yeah. And I just went to-- And OK, so let me tell you the next friend that I made in Destin was kind of a cool story. My friend in Nashville, Brooks, she was my roommate for like two years while I was there. And she's the one that came and got me on the side of the bridge whenever I wrecked my car eight days after I moved there, six days after I moved there, something like that. So she lived in Nashville. And she was at brunch. And after, I'm sure, a few too many sangrias met these two girls. And one of the girls had said that they were moving to Destin. And so I get a FaceTime. And I hadn't talked to Brooks in months because we had both moved and were doing different things. And I get a FaceTime. And I was like, this has to be like a butt dial. Surely she's not really meaning to FaceTime me. And it was her. And she was like, oh my god, this girl's moving to Destin. You guys need to be friends. And so she gave the girl my phone number. And she texted me whenever she got to town. And I was like, hey, I don't know if you know anybody here. You know, your way around or whatever. But let's go to dinner. And I'll just be kind of an introductory friend for you. And we were really good friends for a while. And then through her, I met other people. And I think that's the best way, whenever you can meet one person organically, and then you meet their friends. And you kind of add to your circle that way. I agree. I had, well, you know, Maddie. And of our beloved friends here. Ironically, also from Oklahoma. We know her in Oklahoma. When she was moving here, we had a mutual friend that introduced us on social media and said, hey, you guys really need to meet. I think you guys would love each other. Maddie's moving to St. Pete. You guys shouldn't think up. At the time, I was hosting like a woman new to town, if you will, happy hour with another lady in St. Pete. And so I invited Maddie to come and then we've been friends ever since. I'm so glad that you met her because I really enjoy her also. She's the best human. She's like literal sunshine. Yeah, like just the best human. She makes me think of, you know, like the sun that's on cartoons, and it rolls out onto the cartoon, and it's too happy. Like, yeah, that's magic. Yes. And the most awful human, the most helpful human, she's just the best baker. The best, she's the best. I feel like another thing that women especially struggle with, with the thought of moving somewhere, is like, hairstylist is a big one. Oh, yeah. Because a lot of women, well, I feel like your hair is part of your identity, and it can be really scary to try to find a new hairstylist, and that's overwhelming, or a lash artist, or any of those things. How have you gone about that process? So whenever I moved here at you, like totally hooked me up with everyone, I feel like I was like, I am, am I Bailey? Oh, like, same hairstylist, same lash artist, same nail place. I love it. Same Botox. Yeah. But whenever I was in Nashville and in Washington, actually whenever I was in Washington, I flew back to Nashville for something, and I would get my hair done whenever I was there. OK, because it was such a short stint. Sure. But then moving back to Oklahoma, I had to find someone new. And it was through my network, getting connected with someone that someone else knew. And then whenever I moved to Destin, it was-- I used Instagram a lot. And I just-- I love that part of social media, because I can go and look and see what they're sharing and what their work looks like through their eyes. But you can also see what they've been tagged in. So then you can see what other people have experienced. And that's any time I'm looking for a restaurant or a place, a coffee shop or anything, that's my go-to Instagram and TikTok. I agree. I probably don't use TikTok as much for that, but I use Instagram for it all the time. And even when I'm traveling places, I want to check out or whatever. I think sometimes people don't understand the power of Instagram in that realm, especially some business owners don't realize that leverage there. So oh my gosh, yeah, you need Sarah. Yeah. That's a whole other conversation. Yeah. What's your favorite part about living to a new city? My favorite part is that feeling whenever you first get there, you've unpacked to the truck, your house is a mess. And it just feels completely brand new and foreign to you. I'm totally fresh. There's no memories as you drive through town yet. It's all you're in just like discovery mode. I love that. I was telling my niece about that this weekend because she was like, I don't think I would want to live here because I feel like I know it too much. And I was like, I get that. Like you've been here, but yeah, I was like, I get that. Do you feel like you wouldn't be that fresh feeling for you? Yeah. I agree. I feel like there's something about, I don't know, every time I'm pulling in to a new city, like driving in. Even if I've been there before, right before I moved or something, there's something about going when you're moving and just that excitement and gettingness. And then normally I'll take previously, it was just Aspen and I obviously now I have Murphy too. But like I would always take Aspen on a walk around like cool parts of like the city or whatever and like explore. I remember when I first moved to St. Pete, I would like moved over by Crescent Lake and I would take walks with Aspen up and down like every street imaginable. And also when I moved to St. Pete, so moving from Dallas to St. Pete, I sold my car because I didn't think I was going to be able to pull my car behind a U-Haul. I had never driven a U-Haul before. So I was like, I don't trust myself to pull my car behind a U-Haul. So it had already had a bunch of miles on it anyways. It was probably time, so I sold it. But then I challenged myself for 30 days not to buy a car and like in walk the city 'cause that's the best way to learn the city. I didn't think about the fact that I moved fucking Florida and jail now, so hot. I biked like a mile one day to meet someone for lunch and by the time I got there, Jesus, I was wrenched. I was like disgusting, why did I do this? And I did start Ubering more often during the day after that, but then I bought a car and it's fine. But I actually am glad I didn't buy a car at first because I really do think it challenged me to get more familiar with the city 'cause you see things walking and biking that you don't see when you're driving. Oh yeah. Like all the little side streets and stuff like that. And there's been a couple of times, like when I moved from Salt Lake to Dallas, I sold all of my furniture and started basically totally over, which I loved the fact of starting over that felt really freeing, but then I shipped probably 20 boxes via my clients, like professional UPS account, through my apartment in Dallas, and then I took whatever would fit my car. My boxes had the most insane holes in them. There was stuff missing, they were smashed. It literally looked like they just picked stuff up and just threw it. Oh my gosh. So that was devastating. I will never forget seeing the boxes lined up in the hallway of my apartment and then knowing it was bad, but not knowing how bad, and then opening it, and heirlooms and mementos from Edgar Grandpa, like I had this whole collection of vintage cameras and video cameras that he has had since they're from like the 1900s to current. And so many of those were ruined. Oh my God. My mixing bowl gone, my KitchenAid mixer, just out of the box, just gone. Just gone, so I don't know if someone opened the box and took it out or what, but there was so many things like that. So that was traumatic because I was like, I shouldn't have shipped. I let my client convince me that this was a smart move rather than doing a quad or something, just to ship these boxes. Well, it sounds logical, but don't ever do it. Oh my God. It was the worst mistake. And then when I moved from Dallas to St. Pete, I got rid of quite a few things. I knew I was going from a much, I went from like a 1,200 square foot high-rise apartment to like 700 square feet. Yeah. So I knew it was going to be like condensed, but I didn't realize how condensed and none of my furniture fit when I got to St. Pete. I tried moving stuff in and I just looked around and I was like, shit. So you do with all of it. I sold it on Facebook Marketplace and then bought new stuff. But did you just have to leave it outside? Well, we got it in. So the person I was renting from his girlfriend at the time was the girl that I ended up doing like that happy hour woman thing with. And she was so kind. Like they showed up as the landlord to like help me move, which was like the kindest thing ever. So we got everything in the structure. And basically I was like, just leave it wherever and I'm going to sell it and I'll find something to do with it. Yeah, that was really my only option. What a headache it was. Moving alone is such a headache, but whenever you get your stuff all fit inside, like the fuck me do now. I was just like, shit. And I had just moved with two dogs across the country and a U-Haul and like I had never driven a U-Haul before. Different driven a U-Haul I have. It was so whenever I moved from Oklahoma to Destin, I drove me and Rachel drove the U-Haul with my Jeep behind it. Like that's whenever you're saying that I was like, don't recommend and had Jack and Betty and me and Rachel in the cab. The zero stars. Yeah, right. Also, I didn't think about the fact that like U-Hauls have a regulator or whatever on it. So they can't go very fast. And Governor, whatever they call it. Yeah. So, I didn't plan for that in my like mapping out of my pack on Dallas to St. Pete. I'm like, oh, this is gonna be a breeze. It's gonna take me like two days. I'll take a stop. No. One, they move so slow. Two, accelerating with a U-Haul, I'm hugging highway with assholes that won't let you merge. That's whenever you use the strategy of, I'm bigger than you. I'm coming over. I expected if it's a semi and then you're like, well, we're all gonna die today. I thought it would be good to stop. I had four dogs. I had Aspen and Oak sitting the truck with me and they're just like, mom, what's happening? What's happening? I ended up having to break it into three or four days. I can't remember. So, whenever Rachel and I went from Tulsa to Destin, we drove it straight through, which it's typically, I think, 14 hours. And it took us like 18. And I had, because I had successfully found the apartment and it was up and moved to natural side unseen, I thought I could do that again. Turns out, one for two on that one because we got there and I looked at this apartment and I have movers there waiting to move me in, waiting to unpack everything. And I walk, well, first of all, we pull up into the parking lot and there's an actual car on blocks in the parking lot. And it looks nothing like the photos. Like it was a total fucking lie online. And so we walk into the apartment and I'm 410 and these ceilings felt low to me. Oh my God. Like I felt squished and like they had made all of these promises like brand new appliances, brand new floors, all repaint it, it was a dump, a dump. And moving is so expensive. And so I had felt like, you know, I had just hemorrhaged all of this money already. And now, oh, by the way, you don't have anywhere to live. You have two apartments, one in Tulsa and one here and you're essentially homeless. So we're gonna go find a hotel and then find a new place and then pay like all of your deposits and everything all over again. It was so stressful. We stayed in a hotel for like three days because it was also, it was also Friday. So I like Saturday went and looked at places but then everybody's closed on Sunday. So then Monday I went in and it was pretty much Stephanie she was the nicest lady. I was like, listen, this is my situation. I need an apartment today. I need keys in hand today. What can you do for me? And she was like, I got you. - Both of them. - And she's like, go eat lunch, come back. This afternoon, we'll get you moved in. Call your movers, tell them to be here this evening. And so it like, that was one of those instances where I was like, this is totally like God universe, my mom, whatever, just taking care of me. And the apartment was wonderful. The location was a lot better. There were no cars on blocks in the parking lot. - Okay, that's a good bet. - Yeah. The only time I've moved somewhere where I hadn't already like flown out to see it first was St. Pete. However, my landlord's girlfriend, she did a FaceTime gourmet. So she walked around on FaceTime. And so then I felt like I got an adequate representation and they had just turned it all down to the studs and made it look super cute and it was great. But all the others, I think I've flown out like to Dallas or whatever to get it first. Technically, Salt Lake, I was planning on living with someone when I first moved there and then I left. So I had to quickly find something, but I got to go see it, so that was fine. The next time I moved in Salt Lake, closer to downtown, like a year later though, was a nightmare. I get there, they left the keys for me or they said they were leaving the keys for me. And I had everyone show up from like my work and very much people, my ex, they all came to like help me move. We get all the way downtown with all my stuff. We start getting it up there. One, they put me in the wrong floor plan and like this was probably the most expensive place I'd ever lived at this point 'cause I was like doing kind of pretty well in my new business for the first point. I was excited. It still wasn't outrageous, but it was a lot more than I'd ever spent on a place. And so I was really mad that they gave me the wrong floor plan. And then was it a better or a worse floor plan? A worse floor plan. Oh good. And then like I'll take the upper foot. Yeah, well then I get there and I can't even get in the apartment. So we have moved all my stuff up this elevator into the hallway and the key doesn't work. 'Cause you're in the wrong one. He sat there for hours. I called security, I called the after hours line, I called everything. And so they basically were like, well, just move all your stuff in here and then you're gonna have to move it all into the other one in a week 'cause it's not ready yet. So I literally, we just moved everything in and then a week later had to drag everything and move it all almost by myself to the other one. Oh my God. My neighbors probably thought I was crazy 'cause I just had one of those wagons and some of the things that I should not have been moving by myself, like bookshelves or whatever, I would just lay on the wagon and drive all the way across to the other side of the property. Thankfully it was like the hotel structured type of apartment so everything was internal, but. But it's still such a headache. I had to do that whenever they were working on my apartment here. Which, it just closed too much, but I had to do that and it was all internal, but it would have almost been faster if I would have just taken shit outside and carried it around. Yes. Yeah, that was a nightmare. Yeah, those wagons come in clutch. So if you were gonna give advice to someone that wanted to move to a brand new city, a new state, whatever, what would you tell them? Do it today. Like maybe get a face to walk through of wherever you're gonna live and maybe have a side contract from your job before you go. But do it. And truthfully, you really can't always go home. The poem will always be there and you can always go back. But you cannot get the experience and the growth and the pushing your limits. In the place that you grew up, that you can if you move somewhere else. I agree. I also feel like when you move to a new place, find ways to get like plugged in the community, whether it's volunteering or like joining a board or there's like lots of professional groups or things like that. I think that has been a huge help for me too, as far as both business and just like personally like, yeah, making sure I feel less alone and feel more settled. And then that's how you develop a network. So if something does go wrong, you have some people around you. - Yeah. Yeah. Well, and you and I have both started, like if there's not the group that you want, start it. Like you did, was it Tampa Bay to Bay? - Yeah. - Yeah. And then I've done Sip and Social for Women in Healthcare. And just because it doesn't exist doesn't mean the two can't be the one to create it. And if you are needing that, you're like creating whatever that community looks like than other people are too. - I totally agree. That was the biggest thing we heard kind of consistently when we were doing the beta based stuff is just that like, there were all these women that had moved here that didn't really know anyone. And as an adult, especially that was still kind of COVID was lingering around still at the end. So most people were working from home or working remotely, whatever, and they just didn't have waves to meet people in traditional senses. So I think that was helpful. - Yeah. - I think also finding ways of getting plugged into things that you enjoy, whether it's like yoga or something like that is a really good way to like create a good network too. - Yeah. - And just not feel so long. - Yeah, I agree. And I think I saw a video one time that he was talking about like how to go and make friends if you are in a new place. And he was like, what? You're fucking phone away. Put your phone down. Make yourself approachable. Because if you go, like you go to dinner by yourself but then you scroll tick-tock the whole time. You're not even in that moment. You're zoned out, dissociated, like you're not even available for anyone who would want to make friends with you. - I agree. I also think trying to frequent locally owned small businesses is beneficial too. When I first moved here, well, one, my dogs ended up getting pregnant a month after I moved here, which was stressful. And then I had puppies three months later, which was insane. I was in a new city, didn't really know anyone. I kind of know a couple of people, I was going through a lot of personal shit. And I was just like overwhelmed and felt like super alone. And so I found this super cute little coffee shop, wine bar and bookstore in St. Pete called Book and Bottle. And so I would just go in there and I would sit at the bar every day. And the girl that was working there at the time, I ended up getting really close with, she was awesome. We were sitting there and I said, I just needed to talk to someone because I've been alone for so many days and I'm so overwhelmed, we just started talking. And I would go on there multiple times a week and then I met the owner and became friends with her. I probably met six different women in there that I'm still connected with today. And I think often a lot of those locally owned small businesses, they do create an opportunity for a community like that. You just have to be like you said, open, put your phone down, start a conversation, try to meet people while you're there. That was probably one of the best things I've ever done. - Yeah, I agree. I think when you do that, like if you, people are like, well, how do I start that conversation and how do I make friends? I think, and this is something that I like to teach with social media too, if you want to engage with someone, whether online or in person, the easiest way to do that is to find some kind of commonality. And like, I made friends with this girl at a coffee shop here right after I had moved because she had a friend to you with her. And I was like, oh my God, I have a friend too. You know, we like bonded over that. And then she actually ended up giving me a recommendation for a person here that does extensions that I went to for my hair for a while. And she connected me with the casting director for a reality TV show that I auditioned for. And yeah, like you just never know, like where that connection is going to lead. And maybe it'll be that they turn out to be a really great friend or maybe they introduce you to someone who will be a really great friend or maybe they introduce you to someone that will make you the next reality star. I think great. Yeah, just like finding that commonality in something that you can like kind of bond over. And sometimes it's like commiserating over the fact that you hate the same thing. Yep, I definitely agree. What do you think was the hardest move for you? I mean, I guess they all kind of had hard pieces. None of them stick out as like a super hard move. I think the beginning of moving to St. Pete was a little bit hard just 'cause a lot of stuff happened when I first moved here. And I felt really lonely for the first time probably in a move. Honestly, the beginning of Salt Lake City should have been hard and traumatic, but it wasn't. I think I was just so ready to get out of Oklahoma. I was like, I'm just gonna roll with this. And I had a job lined up and everything else. So that part didn't bother me. And then moving to Dallas, I was excited. My best friend was going with me. I had a couple of family members there. I knew a lot of people there. That one was a super easy move. St. Pete was probably the hardest at first in some ways just 'cause this is some personal stuff. I'm feeling a little lonely and isolated, but I feel like once I kind of got myself out and started meeting people that went away. Yeah. So I don't know if I had like a super hard move. Which one is your favorite? Mm-hmm. I don't know. Actually, moving to Dallas is probably my favorite move just because I felt like it was gonna be like so exciting and like I knew swing people and like, my best friend was going. So like we were on that journey together. But the fact of like getting out of Oklahoma and getting to Salt Lake was awesome. And I don't know if you've ever been to Utah. You have, right? It's just gorgeous. Everywhere you look you're just like, this is incredible. Especially after living in like Oklahoma. Yeah. Going from the plains to like, fries, candy, and majestic mountains everywhere. And like so many different topographies. Like you can be in like the Red Rock down in Southern Utah or lush, green, incredible mountains in Northern Utah. That part was really amazing. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's something that I think is underrated. Like people think about whenever you move, you know, like you have new friends and new restaurants and like things like that. But I think it's so overlooked that like living around the mountains is a totally different experience than living at the beach. And like living in downtown of the Jaya Metro is so different than like living I don't know in the mountains. Or a suburb or yeah, yeah. Yeah, living in downtown Dallas. Well, I didn't live in downtown Dallas. I lived near the American Airlines Center, which is, I'm going blank on what the neighborhood's called now. It's kind of near uptown. But that was really fun because it was nothing that I'd ever done before. There was like cons because I would hear traffic all the time and there was all kinds of noise and stuff like that. But it was so exciting. So I could just walk all over the place. I would see hundreds of people every day. I don't know. That was a really cool new vibe. Yeah. I think it's interesting to talk about seeing so many people. People think that like, oh, I could never, I wouldn't be lonely if I moved to a bigger city, but sometimes the loneliest place is a crowded room. Oh, yeah. And you can feel so isolated. And I feel like sometimes that can feel harder to make friends in a bigger city than if you were in a smaller one. I agree. And I will actually say I tell people all the time. I think Dallas sucked the soul out of me for a little bit because it's a very inauthentic city. Everyone's kind of out for themselves. There's that whole southern charm of like, I'm going to be nice to your face, but really I have ulterior motives. Thing going on a lot there that I know is not just with me but other people. And I definitely think it was like a much lonelier place. And I think living in an expensive high rise, like I was in that part of town, there are some interesting characters that you're around, especially that you live amongst. Like there were some cool neighbors like Connor from the Bachelor lived in my building. So like that was fun. And like I watched from the last episodes with him by happenstance down in like our community area. It was like the episode he, I think he had just left or it was the episode he was on. Yeah. So he kind of gave me some Connor, remind me. Is he the blonde, really tall, kind of brownish hair? He was kind of quiet. He was on because he stuck sticky notes when she was sick all around her. Oh, yeah. Which he said he went to leave her like one sticky note and then they were like, oh, you should leave a bunch of them. So yeah, it's always so interesting. I actually sat down and interviewed him and never did anything with it. So I have to see if I still have that, but he was really sweet. And then there was some really interesting characters in that building. And there's a lot of them that I'm still in contact with today. There's some that I would literally never want to see. Ever again in my life is a lot of lesson learning yeah, in that situation. But yeah, I'm sure like during that like age, like stage of life, like everybody's figuring it out. And I don't know, they probably regret some of those things but you're like, I never want to see your face again. Well, I know it's interesting too, is like in a place like that, I was friends with people from my age all the way up to like we had old married couples that were like in their 60s living there. Like you had single old dudes living there. I should write a book about that whole experience because it was interesting. We had like professional NBA stars living in the pin house. We had crazy kept woman situations going on in different areas. It was very interesting. Very, very interesting. - I didn't talk about that. - I could be a whole podcast on that. - Yeah. Met some great friends. There's a couple specifically that I still like stay in contact with. Incredible humans. He was moving, he lived part time in Dallas 'cause he was trying to kind of build up the Dallas music scene which you would think would be big but there's not a big Dallas music scene. - Everybody goes to Austin. - Yeah. And he had helped find and blow up boys to men and Monica and a bunch of other people like that. And so his network was really cool and he told me a lot of cool stories. And then his girlfriend was probably the coolest human I've ever met. You walk into their place and it's just like a Boho calm, tranquil energy. She had a lot of Buddhist rituals that she did that she taught me about. She was, she's mixed. He's black and she's mixed but she is from, I think she's half Moroccan and half Indian or something. One of the most, or no, I don't remember. One of the most beautiful humans inside not I've ever met. Like you just look at her and I think she was like 50 at the time. She looks like she's 32. - Oh my gosh. - Her presence is calming the most the shrink-caring person. I adore both of them. We had a really cool experience because he has three kids that live in another state and he blew his youngest daughter and he's been around music industry her whole life, his whole life, whatever. And so they weren't really super impressed by a lot of musicians or anything like that just 'cause it was a common place. But the one artist, his 11 year old daughter was obsessed with was Khalid and he's from Texas. And so the dad, my friend had messaged me and was like, "Hey, I'm gonna surprise her and go across the street fits concert later." I think it was either that day or the next day. Do you wanna go with us? And we'll get to meet him and whatever. And I was like, "Yeah." And so we're walking over and his daughter has no idea who we're going to see. She just knows we're going to see a concert. And so we walk through American Airlines Center and we go downstairs and we go into the room where he's doing meet and greets and she just starts bawling because she's so happy. And she's like, "I'm so happy to meet you." And it was the sweetest thing I've ever seen. That concert was also probably one of the coolest things I've seen because I just remember like sitting, like standing on the floor of the concert looking around and you've literally had everything from 50 year old suburban grandmas to like 19 year old kids. It was just such a diverse range of people all coming together for like a cool experience in one place. It was just slightly moving. It's one of my favorite experiences from that piece of my life. I love that. This sounds just overall like exposure to a lot of different walks of life during that period of your life. Oh yeah. Some that will never see the light of day at this vaguettes. (laughs) Some that are going to go in the gray with me but. (laughs) Mary Fockkill. Mary St Pete. Fox Salt Lake City. Killed that was, I like it. The piece that I love the most about Salt Lake, that one's hard. The piece I love the most about Salt Lake is like the outdoors and it's gorgeous and I love that element. The hard part is living there when you're not Mormon is really hard because the Mormon culture, it's the Mecca there and so it influences everything. You don't realize how much it influences everything until you're living in it. And then it snows up until like June sometimes and I had the worst seasonal depression of my life and Salt Lake City is a bowl. So they get a really bad inversion from like four months out of the year and the smog is worse than California during that time because it all gets trapped in that bowl. And so allergies are terrible, they tell them not to get pregnant, it's bad. And I didn't know anything about that. So that would have been something I should have like done a little bit of research on or something probably but we moved, yeah. Okay, what about you with Nashville, Washington and June due to Dustin or St Pete? Yeah, that changes, I know. Okay, so Mary St. Pete in Nashville and then killed Dustin and Washington, like I had some really great experiences there but also it was, it was very lonely because I didn't have friends there. It was the farthest I'd ever lived away from home. I was in another time zone for the first time. It was my first time working in a hospital. The speech pathology field, especially the medical side, I feel like we don't get enough education on that during grad school. And so there's a lot of like discrepancy in practice patterns. And so some of the things that I had learned were not the way that people were practicing. Sure, great opportunity for growth. (laughing) I learned a lot and some good and some like learning about what, the way that I will not practice. It was just like, I loved the hiking. I loved the beaches there. I enjoyed Seattle and I loved all the alone time that I got but it was also very lonely. So it was, I don't know, kind of my Sour Patch city I think. Yeah, but yeah, I don't know. I loved Nashville but it was entirely too much fun and everything was entirely too accessible from alcohol to indulgent food to men to everything. And I was like, I have to get the fuck out of the city before I end up an alcoholic, kidnapped, pregnant. Yeah, I was like, I have to move. I have to get out of here 'cause this is entirely too much fun. Dallas was very similar in that regard for me too. So she'd be able to like walk to bars and walk to everything and yeah, I can definitely relate to that. I can definitely also relate to like the loneliness piece at first in Salt Lake City just 'cause it was so new again, different time zone across the country, all those things. But I think the thing that was the most empowering for me during that point that I would like urge other people that are considering doing something similar is like, take that time and be alone. Like figure out how to be alone with yourself. Oh my God, yeah. Figure out how to take yourself to dinner or go explore on your own or do all these things because I think that was probably the best thing I've ever done for myself is learning that I could do all those things on my own. I didn't have to wait for anyone else to be with me. Yeah, I could not agree more. I think that is the hill that I will die on. If I had to choose one hill, that's it. If you can't spend time by yourself, you need to figure out why. And is it uncomfortable at first? Absolutely. Is it worth the discomfort to be able to be alone and be not just okay, but happy? Absolutely. And for some people, I think that that's the hardest thing in the world. But I don't know. I now know that it kind of makes you unfuck with the bull. Unfuckable, whatever. Yeah, can't fuck with me. I was like, I'll just leave. And I'm fine on my own and I know that I don't need anyone. And so put up with less shit whenever you're comfortable by yourself and in your own skin with who you are. Yes, I completely agree. Unfuck with the bull. I think that's correct. Maybe. Okay, whatever. I don't know. Can't fuck with me. I get the idea. That's okay. I called the governor regulator earlier, so firing on all the lenders today. Okay, to wrap us up, what is your advice for someone who just moved to a new city and maybe is in that discomfort and feeling alone or isolated? I think a few things. I would challenge them to get out in the city and just start moving, walking, biking, whatever they're into, get in there with the city, but also just get outside 'cause I think that changes your mindset a lot and then movement helps a lot. Trying to get their best. I think that's really helpful too. Yep. Go find some local businesses that you feel like you could find a community with, whether that's a coffee shop or a bookstore or a little dye bar or whatever that looks like. You can find a way to meet people, whether you're on, what does that app I used to use in the city? Meetup? But we'll be a VF. There's a lot of avenues or just start volunteering somewhere. If you're into dogs, go volunteer to dog shelter or something like that. I think just finding ways to meet people or create some connection is important. Yeah. And I think to use Facebook groups, like St. Pete Girl Boss, I have made so many connections in the air. So why? And if you can't find it, create it. I agree. Yeah, sweet. Okay. Love it. (laughing)
