Takeaways
- Build relationships on mutual respect, not hero worship
- Encourage open dialogue and feedback
- Seek environments where your voice is valued
- Avoid excessive admiration and idolization
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Chapter Markers:
00:00 - Introduction
01:07 - Building Relationships on Mutual Respect
03:02 - The Dangers of Hero Worship
06:26 - Encouraging Open Dialogue
10:48 - Seeking Environments Where Your Voice is Valued
[MUSIC] This is Unleashing Leadership. I'm Travis Moss, CEO of C Planning Group, and this is my co-host Dave Nerci, our Chief Operating Officer C Planning Group, and this podcast is all about how we implement takeaways from great books into our business, and today we're working on takeaways from the book, Build by Tony Fadel. In our takeaway, and kind of new to the last couple of weeks here, we don't pre-read these things, we just come in gold and big one out and have some fun with it. So today's takeaway, Dave thumbs up her thumbs down or we're going to do it, build relationships on mutual respect, not hero worship. >> Let's go for it. This is a new topic. >> Yeah, I like this one, because this one pisses me off, when people do this, don't do this. >> I can't wait to hear your thoughts though. >> I'm going to be very reserved on this. I'm going to let you talk first. >> Sure. >> Anyone who has listened to this now. >> I keep making the promise. >> As always, do us favor, like or subscribe to us wherever you are listening or watching, and make us that exception if you don't do this all the time. Anytime you give us a like, a thumbs up, a comment, send a friend or something like that. It helps this show show up on algorithms so other people can find it. It's the fastest way to supercharge this and build the community around leadership and personal and professional development. >> This show is actually brought to us by Seed Planning Group, shameless plug for Dave and I. The Seed Planning Group is a fee-only fiduciary wealth management firm that helps people overcome the challenges that are keeping them from personal fulfillment. Check it out at seedpgasandplayinggroup.com. So it'd be S-E-E-D-P-G.com. All right, Dave, build relationships. >> I'm really now in the intros. >> I'm working on it, man. I've been practicing in the shower. My wife's like, "What are you talking to in there?" >> That was good. >> I got to get better on my show. All right, so build relationships on mutual respect, not hero worship. How do you want to echo this one? >> Let's start with what is hero worship? Explain that first. >> We've had hero worship. >> Okay. >> So hero, you're supposed to talk first. Why are you putting this back on me? And then you're going to say, like, you never let me talk first. >> Well, that's my whole thing. So that's why I set you up. >> You make the promise, I set you up to that. >> Okay, all right. >> We just go with it. >> All right, so do you want me to talk or are you going to talk now? >> Yeah, go for it. All right. >> You seem excited. >> Well, the hero worship, and this is hard for people who want to come in. They want to make a good impression. They want to get kind of established in an organization. And there's brown-nosing or butt-kissing that happens a lot of times, especially if you happen to be working closely with the boss or you're in the same office or something like that. There's a tendency from people to over agree essentially with everything. This person, no matter what the person says, they can do no wrong. >> They can do no wrong or they're not willing to necessarily step up or challenge the person or they just, well, they're there, so I don't have to know anything like they're going to take care of everything. Hero worship is kind of, it's flattery. And I think we've done humble, hungry, and smart with what was that the ideal team player? >> Yep. >> Remember what smart was? It was the ability to kind of have those politics. >> Yeah, in a productive way, right? You're saying? >> Yeah, but there's the in productive way where I use it to kind of manipulate. So I think there's hero worship in an in productive way where somebody comes in. Well, it's always in productive, but in a bad way where somebody comes in and manipulating because they want to be, they want to basically kiss up. So they can get preferential treatment. And then there's hero worshiping where somebody really is just in awe of the people that they're working with, especially younger employees working with somebody who's got a good reputation or something like that. And the issue with that is you still need to develop as a free thinker and as your own person and bring the value that you are capable of bringing to the table, not just sit there and just be staring at this person like whatever you say is the greatest. >> Right. So there's two different kinds then. So there's a destructive one where you just, whatever they say goes, there's, they can't do any wrong. That's destructive because then what happens if people are, you said like the brown knows and they're kind of just going with whatever's out there, there's no free thinking. There's very little free thinking then, right? It's like we just got to do what, what this guy says, he knows all. And you're going to lose a lot of the ideas and free thinking and production people. And then it creates politics, right? I think you're kind of, you're saying that, but it creates politics because then I think other people in the company would think they have to kind of do the same thing, right? Oh, geez, I guess we have to like worship this person. >> Or create animosity. >> Yeah. Right. >> Right. >> Like, you know, you're their favorite or they're your favorite or blah, blah, blah. >> Yep. Yeah, exactly. So then, but then the other part you were saying there, you could have a, you can kind of be in awe of someone, right? Maybe because of what they've accomplished or they've built. But as long as then you, you turned that into a, the first part of this, right? The mutual respect and making you work harder or wanting to be part of that, right? Like, well, I, I want to do something like that. I want to be part of, I want to feel like I'm building something here too. That could be very productive then. >> Well, I think the mutual respect part is, so as, as an employer or as a leader or as a manager, like I don't, I don't want people who are going to come in and you've seen it before too. We revamped our leadership team over the last couple of years. >> And we had a leadership team at one point that we'd have an entire meeting and not a single comment from anybody. >> Mm-hm. >> Everybody just staring there, right? You don't want that. The mutual respect says, I'm interested in what you're having to say. I'm going to dive into what you're having to say and I'm going to ask questions to clarify. I'm going to look for nuance. I'm, I'm going to say when I don't understand, like I have respect for you as a professional and because I have respect for you, I'm also going to give you feedback. >> Mm-hm. >> Right? Now I'm not just going to sit there and just kind of like, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah and everything's a yeah. >> Right. >> And then, you know, something happens and then it's like, yeah, well, I saw that that was the issue. It's like, well, why didn't you bring that up? >> Right. >> Well, I figured you had it under control and I don't care who the leader is. I mean, there, there's so many things for me to look at on a daily basis or me to focus on on a daily basis. I can't see everything. >> All right. Especially the depth someone else can. >> Yes. Yeah. Eventually, I'm going to hear about everything. But eventually, the problem is, is that eventually means it could be a year later. >> Right. Yes. So the mutual respect is it's kind of, it's kind of like saying, well, like, I'm going to pull my way and, and make sure I'm also being productive here and, and filling the role because I, I respect what's happening and what you're saying, but I'm also going to do my part where the, the hero worship is more like you, you kind of sit there and you're either like a yes, like to see us to everything or I think some cases you sit, you know, you sit in those meetings and no one says anything. Did anybody prepare or did they just say, oh, great, you know, everything was done for me. Here's the, here's the doc. Here's the presentation. I'm just going to sit here and be like, be an audience member. And really that's, that's not the role, especially in leadership meeting. >> Right. Yeah. It's kind of, think about a relationship. If you have a relationship with somebody, what's the best type of relationship, you know, and most people tell you relationship where people are equal as individuals. You may not be equal in your role, your authorities or things like that, but, and where you're knowledge base, but we're equal in the fact that we respect each other and we understand each other's strengths and weaknesses and we communicate with each other well, right? Like, we're willing to communicate the way that we need to communicate with each other. >> Right. >> Or you kind of have the servant mentality, I'm here to serve you or you're here to serve me. >> Mm-hm. >> So we want kind of this, if I think about the people who I work best with, I don't know what to do when somebody's acting like a servant. >> Right. >> It's like, you know, I would like you to actually interact and provide feedback. And, and say, I observe this and ask questions if you don't understand, because ultimately what happens with the servants is eventually there's a big blow up because they're, they're, they're not capable, you know, most of the people who are doing hero worship, again, you could be doing it for the wrong reasons, but let's say you're doing it just because you're in awe, a lot of times that's keeping them from developing capabilities to actually do things because they're over relying on the hero, right, you know, to say everything. I think which is what you said. >> Yep. >> So what's our takeaway then? If you, you know, are working with somebody that you're in awe with, or if you have kind of this celebrity status and you're going to be hiring people, you probably need to encourage and reinforce the fact that you want people to have a voice in the room. You want it to be respectful. You want it to be kind of smart in a way, you know, you don't want people just shooting their mouths off, but you want them to have a voice. And you encourage them to use it because, you know, just it benefits everybody, right? >> Yeah. >> I mean, that's, yeah. I think that's great. From the leader perspective, the takeaway is that make that known, communicate that because people come from all different types of environments and work cultures where maybe that wasn't the case and they were supposed to sit there and not say anything. So make that a known and communicate it. And then from the, you know, the employee perspective, look for that kind of environment. Look for the leader who is, who encourages that, right? And it doesn't have the ego or the kind of like worship me mentality because you could run into that too. And that's going to make it very hard to build a relationship on mutual respect. (upbeat music)
