The Frank Fantasy Football Podcast
Naranjeros de Hermosillo
(upbeat music) - Hello, we are back for episode three of the Frank Fantasy Football Podcast. I am your podcast host, Frank and lead commissioner. I am joined here with my co-host, Danny. Danny, how are you doing? - Absolutely miserable. - Great, fantastic. So we were going to have Zach on. I'm hearing he got stuck in traffic, bit of an issue, so we might have to bring on the loser of that match up. - Hate to see it. - Hate to see it, wait a minute, what's this? (upbeat music) ♪ Glorious, no I won't be bitter ♪ ♪ I won't be bitter until I'm victorious ♪ ♪ And I will defend, I will defend ♪ (upbeat music) (upbeat music) ♪ Glorious, no I won't be bitter ♪ ♪ I won't be bitter until I'm victorious ♪ ♪ And I will defend, I will defend ♪ ♪ And I'll do what I must ♪ ♪ No I won't be bitter, I won't be bitter ♪ ♪ I'm so glorious ♪ ♪ Until the end, until the end ♪ (upbeat music) - Oh my goodness everyone, it's actually, it's him, it's the man, it's the myth, it's the legend, it is our... ♪ The gringo, the gringo ♪ - The gringo, the green mandingo is here. The man who is leading our leading points. - Danny, Danny Frank, thanks for having me. It's oddly honest, I really didn't want to do this, but I'd be doing a disservice to a league if I didn't come on and talk about some of my recent successes. - Well, we are happy to have you here. So what we're gonna do, Zach, is we're gonna go over our week two winners and losers. We're gonna dive into some of the draft, not the draft, but we're gonna dive into the draft, no, but we're gonna dive into some of that drama that happened on Sunday morning, regarding a trade between you and Shally. We are gonna dive into that, but first, I wanna go over our week two winners and losers. We're gonna cap it off with you and Jacob. So let's first start out with Mr. Playoffs Jordan, versus Dirty Mike and the Boys Nick. This was a match of that Jordan took pretty easily at 135 to 89 with Jordan, Mr. Playoffs as the winner. Thoughts? - Everybody saw this coming. - Yeah, I gotta say, Nico Collins had himself quite the night for Jordan scoring 23 points. Nick and that Philly defense, pretty miserable with one point and Keenan Coleman with a goose egg, zero. Zach, what do you think about these guys? - If I may here, Nick's in love with Derek Henry, and that's his first problem. Getting him in the first or second round, I think it was the second round this year, is just simply at Nick's usable. He's about 38 years old. He's broken. Nick, don't expect him to go far this year. - Yeah, I agree. I think that will be his Achilles heel with his love for Derek Henry. We're gonna move on to our next matchup, where we have 12 dudes, one butt, our reigning champion and only three-peat champion, versus no brains, all balls, Matt. Now, this is a matchup where our former champion, 12 dudes, one butt, it was in a loss to 102, to Matt, no brains, all balls, 113. This was a matchup where Ozuna actually had some great production from Justin Jefferson, scoring 21 points, but going against Marvin Harrison Jr. Great bounce back week, 27 points for Matt. Matt got great numbers out of his rookie receivers. You really got a guy, gotta give it to him on this one. What do you think, Danny? - Yeah, people around the league are saying that Ozuna can only win with kickers, and it's starting to look more and more true each week. - Now, Zach, as a guy who was a bit proponent to get rid of kickers, what do you think about this strategy of Ozuna's, you know, the no kicker anymore for him? - Yeah, I think he's trying to get exposed. I'm not sure if he took this draft sober. It would be unlikely. - Unlikely, well, he's been on Molly the first year. Who knows, the second year. It's worked out for him. This year, it's not working, so I wish him the best, but right now, I don't see any hope in his roster. - Yeah, I mean, this is a bad start for him. Oh, and two for our only three champion now. Gonna be tough. Let's see if he can crawl his way out of it, but we're gonna move on to our next matchup, which will be Ripham and Flippom Shane versus I Love Tortas. Now, this is an interesting matchup because just a week ago, Shally almost broke his neck, attempting a backflip at Shane's house. Now, it looks like Shally did get some sort of revenge in this. He did take this matchup, scoring a 93 to Shane 64. What are your guys' thoughts on this one? - Yeah, how is Shally doing? Is he still in concussion protocol? - I think, I believe he's out of it, but he is showing some signs of CTE early. - I believe he was moving out of his house or some incident, and the movers came over, he attempted to throw a bike at them. Just a strange incident involving Shally. And, you know, you can really just, you gotta sort the CTE for this. Danny? - I think it needs to be said here. Shally is on a hell of a lucky streak. - You guys, two and oh, he has put up 175 total points through two weeks, and his points against are by far the lowest in the league at 138, averaging less than 70 points per week against him. You don't get luckier than that. He's just take walked his way to two and oh, and frankly, he stinks. - Mike, yeah, I was gonna say my goodness, that is a recipe for success right there. I mean, having the lowest points against you is just always a good thing to have. - I'll be honest, I'm jealous, but you know, it doesn't work out that way for everybody. - I have been trying to kick him out of the league for the last five years. Somehow he's just hung around and you gotta give him credit for that. The guy will just not go away. - True cockroach. - True cockroach. So we will move on to our next, what was that? - It also looks like one, yes. - Yes, you're done, yes, of course. So now we will move on to our next match-up. We have-- - Great, fantastic. - Great, fantastic. We have Toilet Truck Danny versus Lickamadick Evan. Now we have Danny scoring a 96 here, losing to lick my dick Evan, scoring a 130. Gotta say, I did not see this one coming. We will not dive into this match-up too much because I do absolutely hate this team name of Evans. And because my hatred for this, I have a protest here where I do not dive too much into his match-ups. So that's all I will say. - Great, fantastic. I'm okay, skip it. - Yeah. - Good, Danny? - Great, fantastic. - Great, fantastic. We are going to skip this match-up for that reason. All right, so now we have, I'm autism versus Edgelord. I'm autism, my team. Edgelord, Jeff. Now, you really gotta give it to Jeff on this one, scoring 120 to my 102. Alvin Kamara, he has one of these games every year and it just so happened to be against me. Being the highest fantasy scorer of the week, scoring 43 points. Just did not see that coming. You really gotta just hand it to Dallas, laying over and just dying on their backs like a bunch of fucking cowards. Thoughts? - That was a greedy performance. Jeff has been a little bit of a wild card this year, but a great performance. He really needed that one. - Jeff absolutely needed that one. He was on the verge of suicide. I think that we were all afraid of what might happen if this guy took another loss. So I'm pretty happy for him. - No, no, no. I will say, I'm getting tired of using this as an excuse. He is always on the verge of suicide this man. Every single day, he wakes up, he gets out of his bed. This man is edging the verge of suicide. And I'm sorry, Jeff. I'm just going to say it. If you just stopping a coward and do it, pull the trigger and do it, Jeff. For that reason, we're moving on to the next matchup. Great, fantastic. And with this last matchup, we actually have our game of the week. We have pull me back, Jacob scoring 45 to the Green Mandingo, scoring a one, 77. - Can you say that right, please? - He actually cannot say it right. - It's the Green Mandingo. - The Green Go Mandingo. - The Green Go Mandingo? - The Green Go. - Green Go Mandingo. - Not silent. - So not Green Mandingo, Green Green Go Mandingo. - Green Go, yes. - Green Go Mand. - Is that what you got, Craig? - I'll try this back. We have pull me back, Jacob scoring a 45 versus Zach's. The Green Go Mandingo scoring a one, 77. Now, I got to say, Zach, you had just great production. Your entire lineup contributed in this one. Back-to-back weeks of it, we got to give you credit. Danny, what are your thoughts? - You know, I'm just going to say it was a waste, absolute waste of a beast performance. You outscored them by 130 plus points. I was just completely unnecessary. You know, you do have a love to have that week and outscored a stronger opponent. - Yeah, it feels good to just absolutely demolish somebody, I'm sure, but, you know, I'm sure there's that piece of you that wanted a little more competition there. - Yeah, you're absolutely right. I do feel like it was a waste of a week. I should have just started three players and called it good. But, you know, we didn't see that coming. I think Jake has a pretty strong team on paper. You know, we, I guess team might be made out of paper. - I think so too, and I'm glad you brought that up because Tua, IR, Cooper Cup, IR. I mean, you can say that as bad luck or you can just say, Jacob, why are you going after these players where every year they're dropping down from a concussion or their ankle was given out on them? - Yeah, I meant Dallas defense, one point. I mean, he was riding that defense all last year, 20 plus points a week. And, you know, when his old reliable hails on him, he doesn't have much else. - No, I'm glad I think we are seeing him get exposed a little bit as well, exposed. If Dallas isn't putting up 20 points a week, this might get ugly. - Now, Zach, I'm glad that we brought the point of injuries though, because you being an almost professional athlete and having your fair share of injuries, I feel like this is a very unique perspective that you can bring to the table. What is happening with these players in the NFL where they're just dropping like flies? - Yeah, you know, I've touched on this quite a bit. It's the lack of preseason games, but I want to go back to Jacob here. I hope Jacob listens to this podcast. Jacob, I'm talking to you. - Oh, he's a big listener. He's a big listener. - He's a big listener. - He's a big listener, too, directly. You know, you have a lot of people that care about you, a lot of good friends. I know if it was me, the route I would take after that performance is, you know, I would sit down with family of friends and I think it might be in your best interest to commit sopuku. If you want to go out with any sort of pride, I think that might be your best route. So, you know, we wish you the best, either way, we're here for you, but please consider sopuku. - Very much like the great television show, "Showgun." - Yeah, yes, big. - On XFX, we got to do that plug for them. Now, I do have a very special tribute for our loser. Just bear with me real quick, guys. (upbeat music) ♪ How could this happen to me ♪ ♪ I've made my mistakes ♪ ♪ Got nowhere to run ♪ ♪ The night goes on ♪ ♪ Is I'm fading away ♪ ♪ I'm sick of this life ♪ ♪ I just wanna scream ♪ ♪ How could this happen to me ♪ - Man, you are one pathetic loser. (laughs) - Now, Jacob, again, we do all love you here. That tribute was special for you. We hope you bounce back next week. And now, Zach, we're gonna have you actually pick the next game of the week. So, if you bear with me here, I'm gonna pull up our week three matchups. We're gonna have you pick 'em, and the winner of this will have the special invitation of being on next week's podcast. So, we have 12 dudes one, but Alex Ozuna versus Jordy Mike and the boys, Nick, we have Ripam and Flippem, Shane, versus no brains, all balls, Matt. We have Lickam and Dick Evan, versus Edgelord, Jeff. We have Toilet Truck, Danny, versus Mr. Playoff, Jordan, gotta love the new team name. We have Pull Me Back, Jacob, versus I Love Tortas. Shally, and then we have I Am Autism, Frank, versus the Green Man, Dingo. Zach. - Green go. - Yeah, I'm gonna have to say game of the week here is, as much as I wanna say, Jacob, Shally, what was the one before that it was? - Toilet Truck, it was Danny versus Mr. Playoff's Jordan. - Yeah, I think I'm gonna go with that one. We got a 2-0 team versus an 0-2 team. Starting the year, 0-3 is not good. Statistically, 90% of the time, I think you just don't make playoffs. This is almost a must win territory. - And that is that. - Not absolute must win. - Yes. - And myself and Jordan, it's a tale as old as time. We go way back, we've duped it out in a championship before. You know, it's just one of the great rivalries of the league, and we'll be on a show for you guys this week. - And three and I was a statement. Jordan's got a good team. Danny needs a win. I think we're gonna see a gritty performance there. - Great, fantastic. So before we get into our week three predictions, Zach, I wanted to go over with you some of that, that drama that unfolded Sunday morning. Me being the commissioner, I was had my finger on the button, ready to accept the trade. We heard a blockbuster trade was in the works between you and Shally. Now, is this something that you wanted to dive into, you know, kind of peel back the curtain on? What happened there? - Yeah, I wish there was more of a story that there's not, I can watch and watch it through it. So for early Sunday, Shally's tight end went down. I'm a good friend, I offered him help. So I think the first trade was Brock Bowers and DK Metcalf for Brandon Iyuk. He declined, or actually he liked it. And I ended up sweeping up in the deal and I threw an extra player in there. He said, yes, Sunday guy. I sent it, I alerted the group. You know, I'm happy to do business with each other, and then he just goes dark. So, you know, unfortunately for him, I'm happy he didn't accept. But really, what can I expect? I, you know, Shally has shown his incompetence throughout the years. I don't even think he's a U.S. citizen. So you really can't expect him to move forward with something like this and trade it in a gentlemanly manner. So yeah, he's having fun with his friends. - Well, there I say, what? A dirty scumbag to pull such a move. You have to be quite the low life to say, send a trade. And then to not have the decency to even address the matter and just to let it go and to back out, you are just low as dirt, my friend. You are dirt, Shally. - Did you see his recent trade as well? That's sums things up. - You know, you know, maybe it's the CTE for almost breaking his neck in front of his beloved and Shane. I mean, we don't know the answers to this. So great, fantastic. We are going to move on to our pick them, our winners and losers of week three. And we are gonna be starting off with 12 dudes, one butt, Ozuna versus dirty Mike and the boys, Nick. Thoughts on the winner and loser of this matchup? - Having taken a look at the rosters, don't know who is hurt, who is not. I think Ozuna goes 0 and 3 here. You know, I'm starting to lose faith. Giving him one more week is the three-time three-peat champ. I gotta go, Ozuna here. - Great, I will go, Nick, dirty Mike and the boys. I just, I think Ozuna really messed up. He went away from his autograph strategy this year. I feel like it really messed him up. So I will go, Nick and dirty Mike and the boys. Next matchup, we have Ripham and then Flipham, Shane versus no brains, all balls, Matt. Now this is another own two team versus another one-in-one. What are you thinking? - Yeah, I think Shane's got a good team. Matt's still trying to find his identity, which is fine. Close to a couple of big trades, but I think Shane has us here. - I have to agree, I do go Shane as well. I feel like that trade just put him over the top this week and I gotta go Shane, Danny. - I'll be going Shane as well. I think no CMC equals, just doesn't disaster for Matt. He's gonna struggle for a while. - Great, fantastic. Now this is another match that we are not gonna dive too much into. We have Edgelord, Jeff versus Lukamadik, Evan. I'm going Jeff. - Yeah, I'm gonna have to double down on that as well. I think Jeff's showing a lot of heart this year. - We're not gonna dive too much into it, Danny? - Yeah, I gotta go Evan. He just made a little bitch out of me, so I'll give him a vote here. - Great, fantastic. Moving on. We have, I love tortas versus pull me back. Shally, first Jacob. - Do we have to pick a winner? - We have to pick a winner. - I think we should do something special with this matchup and maybe it's Shally and Jacob against Zach this week. And I think Zach still comes away with the win. - Yeah. - The total points, he very well can. But for the sake of argument, I will go Shally versus Jacob. I feel like those injuries have decimated Jacob. We're gonna do one more tribute for Jacob really quick and his roster. Give me one second, boys. - Rest in peace. (crowd cheering) - Very good, Jacob, that tribute was for you and your depleted roster. So again, guys, I'm going Shally. Shally. - I gotta go, Jacob. I just took a look at Shally's roster and it's one of the worst I've ever seen. I think Jacob has a big bounce down. - Can I look at Jacob's? They're both bad. I think Jacob bounces back in a big way and scores 80 points this week. - Great, fantastic. Next we have, I am autism versus the green man Dingo. You know what, I'm gonna go with the man Dingo. I mean, sorry, the green go man Dingo, of course. Zach, I'm so, my apologies. I have this darn name, I just can't get it right. - Yeah. - So I will go myself in this one. I believe in the autism, the Tism, and I believe in the underdog. I will go with myself on this. Zach? - I'm gonna put $100 on myself as well. - Oh, wow. - Oh, you can go ahead. - I'll lean Zach. - Well, great, fantastic. To finish it off, we will have our game of the week. We have, toilet truck, Danny versus Mr. Playoff's Jordan. Who are we picking? - Well, that's a good one. What do the projections say? - Projections show Jordan a 108 versus Danny's 102. Yeah, I think Danny's gonna have to pull something out of his ass here. I think it's a must win territory. Jordan's just lost for Chaco. I got Danny here by my hair. - I have to go Danny as well. I do not see this man and toilet truck going O and three. Just, you know, with fantasy football, math has such a big deal on it. And because of the math, I'm going Danny. Danny? - I appreciate the faith guys, but it's Jordan. I have no chance. - That's true, he is Mr. Playoff for a reason. So, great, fantastic. I suppose we'll move on to our very last segment. We have a very special segment. We have Danny's. - Jump on the week. - Jump in time. - So Danny, would you like to go over who the chump of the week is? - Yeah, we have a very exciting chump of the week this week. I think everybody's on the edge of their seat, trying to figure out who the chump is going to be. Ultimately, it came down to two people. First, we had Frank's colon. - A lot of you guys back on. - Loser this week, some hemorrhoids were up in there, some mucus, just not a good situation. - The better rectum for sure. - We've all seen better, I would say. - Real tough break for my colon. - As horrendous as that colon is, there was Jacob. Jacob scored a league low, 45 points. He got beat by the biggest margin of victory of all time by far. Zach, were you triple his points? Were you quadruple his points? - We were three points of quadruple, but I was accounting. - You quadruple them. You quadruple them. I mean, it was a rough effort. So that being said, the people voted. This is not my decision. I would never disrespect Jacob. I love the guy, but it was a unanimous vote. It was Jacob. Chump of the week. - Man, you're the chump. - That is a tough break when you lose to Frank's colon. Just absolutely devastating. - That really puts things into perspective. - Well, Zach, I want to thank you again for your victories here, and it's just showing a great example of what everyone in this league can be. Thank you for attending this week's podcast. I thank you again. Truly, you deserve it. Danny, as always, thank you. Everyone, we will be back for the episode four to review week three's winners and losers and the week four projections. Again, everyone, thank you very much. And we will see you next week. - All right, you know what? This was dumb, dumb, but trash, if it's garbage. - Did people listen to that? - It's still recording. This is the walk-off, so, you know, it's just the end. - It's listening. - It's the end. Everyone loves the Bill Collins song. It's just like a little bit of love. - We'll hear it. - We have like a fun band. - This is our fun dance, the time. - It's the time to be the way it is. - Sometimes people like to listen. - I know Jordan still is listening. I know, because Jordan just loves the song. - I wish I could be on it, you know. - It's really tough. ♪ But I have a place like you ♪ - Very cool, could be. So, I'm gonna call you up. Again, boys, thank you very much. I will get this published, and I will send it to you guys for listening here. And we'll go to there. Thank you very much, guys. ♪ 'Cause I love you ♪ - Thank you, Jack. ♪ But I can take it home ♪ ♪ 'Cause it looked like I can describe it in your eyes ♪ ♪ If we could try like we tried before ♪ ♪ But you keep on telling me the road lies ♪ ♪ 'Cause I love you ♪ ♪ Do you remember ♪ ♪ Do you remember ♪ ♪ Do you remember ♪ ♪ Yes, you know where to make up ♪ ♪ 'Cause it's in your mind, you're sad ♪ ♪ You're in the way you love the story ♪ ♪ It's a look I know I'll never forget ♪ ♪ You could've come over to my side ♪ ♪ You could've let me know ♪ ♪ You could've tried to see that this is between us ♪ ♪ But I said too far for you to go ♪ ♪ So far to go ♪ ♪ Do you remember ♪ ♪ Do you remember ♪ ♪ Do you remember ♪ ♪ Do you want all my life ♪ ♪ Start all my way ♪ ♪ Don't leave me where I thought of some time ♪ ♪ It just came where we'd get better then ♪ ♪ Turn that to you, remember ♪ ♪ Do you remember ♪ ♪ The things we want, we come on ♪ ♪ The things we'll never find ♪ ♪ It's changing so long this year ♪