Fort Fritz
OUTTAKES Chapter Two: How Schmutzy Got Her Food Back
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. It's that mortgage guy Don. And MJ, Home Loans Radio, is proud to bring you this outtake episode. Don't miss the boat, compare your quote today at thatmortgagegoddon.com or at that mortgage god Don on Instagram. Here are the outtakes for chapter two. Now Schmutzi got her food back. You just shove a little bit of this mug down your pants and it cools it around. How did you figure that out? Well, if animals do it, it works for us, too, right? Yeah. Like a pig in its own filth. No, thank you. Oh, if only there was so bad. I think you guys can spot my eggs. That is true. All right, hold on. Ready? I'm so excited. All right, I got it. So hungry, that was so good. I was there. I like all Schmutzi waiting for you like warships Angela, he had a naval yard and Armada, how did you know, he pitched it up and he killed me. All right, so if we can feel like, what is he doing, ladies and gentlemen, Emerson Lake and Palmer. Yes. Actually, I saw LP and one of the best things he did is he got up, he brought out a organ like you have out there and he got up on top of it while he was doing a solo. Pulled a knife out of a lot of boots, jammed it in between two keys. Those two keys, hold a note, he started jamming over those, went out another knife, jammed it out two other keys. They always hold it, a hold it to go, gourd, and he started going up here. And then the ship disappeared. Yes. And then it disappeared. It was the entire audience. It was a David Copperfield show. That'd be the best thing if David Copperfield did a show that you didn't know you were going to. Oh, yeah. Like he went to go see another band and all of a sudden you're actually at a David Copperfield show. Especially if it was Emerson Lake and Palmer. Yeah. Because you're all dead. Write it down. Except for Palmer. No, the surprise. You don't want to ask Tom Hanks about the special ingredients in his steak. No, cuz it's babies. It's babies. What Tom Hanks eats babies, this is going to be cut out, but I'm just gonna say Tom Hanks eats babies. Like I just put my muddy ass mother's mother's mother inside the shoe, dude. Keep your ass out of your shoes. Okay, it's all it looking. It is. Never say a nice looking life, but it's usually like, thank God there's a life out now. Like, oh, that's a sweet one. Oh, I have to save my life with that boat at some day. I can't wait to jump from a larger ship into the smaller ship. There's like Azores Islands, which I always want to say Azores. Azores. That's a dream vacation. Yeah. Azores Islands on December 4th, 2018, 70 to Azores. Oh, I'll take a header. We all do it. We all do it. Oh goodness. All right. End of the boat's life. End of the boat's life. And any male boats, I mean, I know they're always she, I know that, but it's not should make one boat. It's like, oh, this boat's male. Me, Azores. Guys, I also have one thing, don't trample it, please. The rudder's in the front, you know, I mean, we need a dude boat. Made out of penises. What? It's sponging. It shouldn't float. Yeah. Dude boat. It doesn't work very well at all. Yeah. When it gets scared, it's smaller. The boat is so flaccid. It never listens. We need to get angry and make this boat huge. I'm impressed by the luminescence of your Brigitteen. It just gets tossed in the waves. Just tramples. A lot of tossing. Yeah. A lot of tossing. Oh, goodness. I was going to ask, what was the size of the ship? So, well, it actually, it gets rebuilt. Oh. Yeah. There's a whole thing with this. With this bitch. All right. Yeah. Oh, now she's a bitch. Oh. She got hurt. Yeah. She gets big. She gets small. I'm glad you said it. I'm gonna cancel. Yeah. Oh, my God. All right. You're gonna say something and I just decided not to say it. All right. Filter. Never self-edit. Oh. Oh. Sarah and their young daughter Sophia. Oh. Beautiful name. It is beautiful. It's a capital Bulgaria. There it is. That's true. And Vigara. What more do you know? Is the capital with a P-H-R-N-F? F. This is with a P-H-R-N-F? Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. This is with a P-H-R-N-F? Oh. It's totally different. Yeah. All right. Strike everything up. Yeah. Yeah. So the capital of Bulgaria is on the ship. Yes. Yeah. We're going to both areas. It's on a frozen pizza sent to off the coast of Portugal. Got it. And it's haunted. The end. I'm kidding. All right. Just Amazon. And now she is the Merry Celeste. It's much more approachable. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wait. Like you know her at church. Oh, Merry Celeste. Merry Celeste. Oh, it's good to stay. Take hold of the top of the barons. You just bring it back when you're done. Yeah. She makes great biscuits. But it always comes back with that tomato stain. Why can they not figure that out? Did you? Did you microwave this? Merry Celeste. I like how you topic reset on that. That was perfect. Oh my God. All right. Thank you. And he is the last and final captain. And what year is this? 1872. Sorry. It's been that long since. Okay. Since 1872. How old are you? We haven't. We haven't. We know she's a doppelganger. We really have a question. Her existence. So she has said that 1872 is just like last week. We got a lot of questions about this Marie person. That's all I'm saying. Don't worry about it. Just continue. That sounds like her. Uh huh. Marie some less. Marie. Actually, that was one of the names. Wait. Look, if you look up Mary Celeste, some of the reports have it under Marie Celeste. Now we have a lot more questions. Yeah. Lots of things happening. You're interrupting the story. Let's just continue. It seemed really interesting in the story. So. Yeah, it's got 70, what? 7,000 barrels of alcohol. Yeah. Yeah. Say that again. Say it again. No, 7,000. What is it? 7,000 or something? I think 7,000. I just want to hear it. I just want to hear it. Just say it. I want to hear it. 7,000? Do it like this in our. Of alcohol. 7,000 barrels of alcohol. Oh, cause he's telling me. Everyone turn around. Everyone turn around. No one look at me. Wait. Wait. Wait. On second thought. Look at me. It was. F***. What the hell was it? Hold on. I've got to find it now. Look at this. It was. I've never paid one. I don't know if anyone caught that. I just want to make sure. It was 1,700 barrels about. 1,700 barrels. 1,700 barrels. I'm still down. I'm still down. He's popping off in his pants right now. Shh. Already. Pamps. Working on my second. All right. Those shoes are stained. Ew. Oh. Slick shoes. Come on. Keep going. Oh my gosh. Careful on deck. We are 22 minutes. All right. All right. She's a pager. She's a pager. I'm sorry. No, it's not. We're jumping in. No. I'm not touching the f***ing ship. I'm on. And she was intentionally suck. Sorry. She was. F***. In. F***. If you're getting sucked off. She's running. Yeah. Can I waste the jib? No. I always wanted to waste the jib. What is that? I got it. Is this the missing mask? Oh my God. I'm going to stink this f***ing boat. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. I'm going to be a pager. 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I'm just going to be a pager. I'm just going to be a pager. I'm just going to be a pager. I'm just going to be a pager. I'm just going to be a pager. Let's cook up this morning star bacon. Yeah. That actually tastes like a pager. It tastes like a pager. No, I know. I'm going to fight you. Good. You won't have any protein in your body. I'll take it down. You know, I can body sing me. I've done it before. Oh, come on. I have taken dumps more than you right now. I know that this. You're going to be into this, Mandy. This is Lucifer Morningstar's Satan. Thank you. I don't sing here. I'm about Cthulhu. Volley John's tentacles. Yeah. So I'm kind of representing that. And he's going over with a Satan food. And once you all have to eat the Satan. He can food. He's trying to be put here for a technical friend. Volley John's. Volley John's. And so that's all up to you. I represent him. If you want to have all this Satan food. You enjoy. Are we done making a big deal out of nothing here for a second? You put food where no pills. Okay. I have a nice shot up. And through that green mist is a good thing. It's like the end of that book by the thing with the, you know, of Scottsy Fitzgerald. With the hair. Yeah, with the guy. The guy. The guy. It gets the boots ripped off of the teeth. You have the twirling cane. Yeah. And it pokes you in the forehead. When you look at that, the majestic fort, which we need to get back to the fort. I've actually written songs about the fort. And if we go back there. It looks like there's, it looks like there's some damage there. We could maybe do a refi. Yeah. You know, as we look back on this fort, I'm reminded of maybe the fort's not too bad. Maybe we can actually contact that mortgage got done at homelands radio.com. Maybe set up a refi. Or maybe a HELOC because now's the time to refi. Come on. You got it. You're almost there. Because now. Just kick your ass into this one. No. Out. Do it. Yeah. That's good. Shoo. We're gonna get right. It's so good though. Hey. You know, as we're now on the shore of this distant land looking back at Fort Fritz. I realize. Almost like that pale blue dot photo of Earth. Taken by the Voyager one spacecraft. Over three and a half billion miles away. I now realize that is all we know. The fort is all we know. And if you are a homeowner. Now is the perfect time to refinance or to maybe lock in that low interest HELOC loan through that mortgage got done at homelands radio.com. Maybe it's time to buy. Motherfucker is a pro. Damn. You like the little blue mermaid. Somebody's thought about this a second. It's good. And then and then. I was about to refinance. I was about to revise right now. It's all refi. Wow. Once again. Folly John's is just always surprising us. He's always surprising us. I or they always surprising us. I don't know. I assume that squid. I did not assume that squid monsters gender right there. And so over here we have Angela. Do we really want to take advice from a squid today? Look at my shirt and tell me that again. Oh man did he's wearing a squid shirt. Do I look? Do I look? This is on the radio. Around it. For the live streamers at home. So Marie. Everyone's some love. Yeah, you know. There. There it is. There it is. Exactly. I couldn't have said it better myself. I can't say it better myself. I understand why you're with Dan or. Oh my God. Stay with me. Oh, I can't even. I'll take. Oh my God. I really appreciate it. I certainly hope so. I certainly hope so. Bye! [BLANK_AUDIO]