Because you demanded it: here’s another All Calls episode! We have a respectable backlog of calls now and it’s Exalted Lord Mike of Perdue’s birthday…so we decided to just keep playing voicemails until we got to one of his calls (which eventually happened).
TADPOG: Tyler and Dave Play Old Games
Ep. 312 – All Calls for Lord Mike’s Birthday
Hi there, listener. You're about to experience Tadpog, Tyler and Dave played games, and there will be plenty of game talk. But also, copious amounts of crude, off-color, offensive, and immature speech. So if you are of a rather sensitive, humor constitution, or just letting you know what you're in for with this show, it has games. It has jokes. You know, just games and jokes. Take the games, take the jokes, and have a good time. Hello, Internet. Welcome to another Tadpog podcast. It's a show that happens twice a week. We're two old guys. I'm gonna get a little burp out there a little bit. I had a very large, a very large diapepy. Yeah, I'm looking at it. And now since this show started, the five minutes we were doing something else, nothing. Now, once we start, they're the burps. Did you finish the, did you finish the sodas or some in there? There's some in there. Some of the drags. Yeah, that backwash soda. And this week. So we're going to eat Taco John's on the mics, like right now. It's what we do. We just need to see fast food on the air. You're going to get an hour and 40 minutes eating tacos. Well, let's see. We're doing another all-call show. We're pretty sure you demanded it. We thank you to man. Yeah, we don't. We, yeah, I checked. I checked. They did. Okay, good. I just pulled it up. Yeah, we're good. Yeah, they were. Because we were hoping to do the last part of little fears, but that couldn't, because of Mother's Day and things like that, it couldn't work out schedule-wise. Yeah. And everyone had a bunch of shit going on. So, it's like, not me. Let's do small calls. I had shit going on. Josh had got that shit going on. No, I'm on the yard yesterday, got that done. I mean, taking mom out to lunch tomorrow, but other than that, I'm good. I could play. Okay, I could play. This means you do little fears. No, you're busy. You just set in a room trying to scare yourself. All right. I turn the light on. I turn the light on. I turn the light on. I see a monster. I turn it off. You hide a cat in the fat. That cat in the fat. What did you call him? Kitten gone feet. It's fine. So, that's fine. Look forward this Monday to a solo adventure of all the fears. But various people had mentioned, like, well, if it'd been just one person, been like, "Oh, okay." But apparently various people- They called and they didn't, the calls that you played on the show, which we promise we, the only person we ignore is 580. That's right. And even 580 has slipped in a few times. Yeah. We don't ignore anyone. No, it's just we have a lot of calls. We have an enormous backlog of calls. We have 98 right now and it's because it's because we stopped playing them. We started saving them specifically for all calls episodes, which we had to do at one point in time. We were dangerously low on call. So, we wouldn't be able to do another all calls episode if we didn't save them. Now, winter has passed and we have a surplus. Yeah. So, all the actual plays we've been doing, there's no time. We're not going to take calls there. Yeah, it doesn't make sense. We've been talking about games. We've run over just doing game talk and banter. So, we haven't really had a good opportunity to play calls. So, there's just, there's a backlog no one is getting ignored. Yeah, I just, I want to stress that. Like, we do now, obviously, come on, come on. We've all sat through some calls where we're like, really, they're playing this one. No, just kidding. We love all of them. No, but seriously, some of them are bad. So, you know that we don't, we don't monitor these calls or anything. So, like, I think we've lost like two or three maybe because of editing. Human error. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there are some, I'm not going to lie. There have got to be some that slipped through the cracks when I'm playing them because my system's very sophisticated. When I play the call, after I play the call on my iPhone 4, after I play it, I hit the little star next to it. Sometimes, I hit the wrong star. Sometimes I hit the wrong call and then I'm like, oh, wait, which one was it? And I just say, well, I don't know. I guess I'll have to figure it out later and then I never do. So, it just, it should happens. No one's being ignored, except 580. And like we said, sometimes he gets through still. There have been, there have been a few all calls episodes where I've been like, oh, hey, that area code is 580. So, that might have been R 580. I don't know. And then calls that have been in the 15 minute range that aren't Chandra. Because I remember Lord Dennis called in telling a 15 minute long story that was hilarious, but you could hardly understand him. It was 15 minutes long and he needs to come back on the show and tell it. Yeah. And then I've, the last time we heard from Ivan King-Hipster, he sent in another 15 minute long call in which he believed he was incredibly intoxicated. But there might have been about eight words said in the entire 15 minutes, space very far apart. So, wasn't sure what to do with that one. But I've been, you know, no one is just like, oh, that doesn't look funny. And we move on. No one gets that treatment at all. And I was teasing earlier. I mean, about us sitting through some bad calls. I like all of them. And that's no joke because like when we get a call, that is usually like, just a jumping off point where we can talk about something. Yeah, I just, yeah, I don't, I don't, I play all of these. I play all of these calls, except for the ones that I accidentally fat finger. Yeah. So, I know because Lord Bach was like, I'm pretty sure I left some, I haven't long time ago. It's like, well, I'm sure he did. He did. Yeah. Yeah. And he did. And by the way, we don't do this often. We don't do this for many people. I think we've done it for, I know we've done it for Drew Roland, barbecue Baron Drew Roland, because Bailey asked us to a long time ago. And I know we've done it for Chandra because we did a very special odd world episode for Chandra's birthday. But today, at the time of this recording, it is exalted Lord Micah produced birthday. Yeah. So. Happy 45th birthday. Happy 45th birthday. Hey, we're not going to judge you for dating all of those girls who just freshly graduated from high school. We were, there's, I mean, it's an enormous age gap, like an embarrassingly enormous age gap with you being 45 and all today. But you're very talented at making fathers angry. I get it. Yeah. Plenty of your strengths. You got it. Happy birthday. You have to. So a happy birthday, Micah. You are one of our longest listeners, I think. And we do appreciate that. Penis length wise. Exactly. And I think your call is like 10 up. So chances are, there's a, there's a 12% chance we will get to your call on this episode. See anything else we want to address before we take any calls or? Mm hmm. No, I don't, I don't have anything else. Okay. I've got a loot crate in front of me. I may pop this open. We'll go through this real quick before we try and take as many calls as we can. What's that tie-dye number in there? I don't know. What's that? What's that? A.K.A. sleep shirt you've got? Oh, it's a David Bowie labyrinth shirt. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's nice. See, yeah. A purple pinkish labyrinth shirt. Let me, can I see that? Yes. I know. Just a very young Jennifer Connolly on there. I'm going to look and feel weird. Oh no, they've got her like all grown up and shit. Okay. Here is a loot crate exclusive. Let's see. It says Chronicle. Chronicle's a riddick nice bag. Is that what that is? I don't know what this is. Is there something in this bag? It looks like a, this is like a Viking. That's a nice bag. It's like a drinking horn. Yeah, because there's no, it's not a horn. So it's a, some kind of a very inconvenient cup and... Shaped like a bull's horn, I assume? Yeah. That's a bull's horn. What is that cable that's included with it? Oh, I guess something to, so I can wear it around my neck. All right. So this will be a good thing to, I'll just, I'll shave the rest of my bear except for my neck and then wear this front at Dragon Call with a fedora and just food right there. Let's see, here is a cardboard tube. Hey, it's a sweet cardboard tube. Inside of it is a poster. I have no idea what this theme is. Dead people? I'm pretty sure the theme is dead. Vikings are dead. David Bowie is dead. What else? It's an uncharted four poster. I'm a man of fortune and must seek my fortune. Nathan Drake is dead. Yeah. That's a spoiler that happens in the fourth game. That'd be cool. I'll be down with that. Can I see that tube though? Yeah, Jog. Let's see. There you go. Yeah. There's my horn. Great loot crate. Like we should take a photograph of this and tweet at loot crate and be like best loot crate item ever. The cardboard tube. Here is, this is interesting. This is a custom Harry Potter socks. Just looking at it quickly, it is a depiction of all of Voldemort's pork ruckses. Okay. So diar ring, locket cup, snake, tiara, Harry. Okay. This is Harry's snake. Yep. Harry's snake. Harry's snake. That was a dick joke. Inside this loot crate exclusive, it looks like. Yeah. I don't know what this is. Instructions put, let's see. Put yo tits in camera. It doesn't say what it is. 20 sided die ice mold. Oh, cool. It's very large. Well, that would be good. And like an alcoholic adult beverage. Mm hmm. So. Oh, yeah, that is nice. That's nice. Do they have numbers on them? Or is it just kind of like a? Just the mold. It's just a shape. It's a shape. So we can't play D&D with ice is what you're telling me. So this, okay, this theme was quest. And I like this, it's a highly in-shielded to be 20 and on it. They do have good pins. Yeah, they really do. All right. That was my quest loot crate. All right. Anything else? Nope. Here you go. There's your shirt back. Yeah. Don't worry. I already, I already went in there. Yeah. That's what it'll be. I've already just eliminated boy. It's fine. I thought you were going to call it. No, no, no, no. Dave why? Do you see that bulge? Yeah, absolutely. That's the shirt that I'm going to, that's a shirt that I'm going to leave my seat in. Ready to take somebody's calls. I am speaking up, but before we do, I do have a little bit of a story if you don't mind. Talking about coming in shirts of all things reminded me of a story. So I have a, there's a shirt, there's a shirt that I keep under the bed. You know what it's for. And Nikki knows that it's there. Sometimes, sometimes she washes it. Most of the time, she stays away from it. We'll call it a workout shirt. We'll just call it a workout shirt. Yeah, we just picks it up. All right, pregnant again. So, Henry is, he wants to be in the bedroom now. And so, because that's where I hang out, that's where all the flashing lights are on computers and TV and shit like that. So, that's where he wants to be. And I have never been so ashamed of my masturbation as when he saw the shirt under the bed and went for it. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I freaked him right the fuck out because he's like, just froze. He looked at me like, what's wrong? And I was like, no, we don't play with that shirt. That's, that's, that's only the fallen father. That's daddy's shirt. Yeah. Otter your brethren who did not make it. So, there's a gross story in an embarrassing one that I'm sure he's going to hear when he gets older. So, I just pass it down to him when it lays time. Sometimes, yeah, it's, I have, Nikki's washed that shirt before and hung it up in the closet. And I have been so conflicted when I see it in the closet where it's like, it is a running day. And that is, that is a chart that I don't care about. But I've come in that shirt so many times I don't think I can wear it out. Is it like a plain t-shirt? It is. I'm so glad that you asked. It is a bright yellow, like it is bright. It is a bright neon like burn. Nothing stands out on it. Just, just burn the retinas of your eyeballs. So, it's a bright yellow boxing news shirt that I got from the 2014 Superman festival here in Metropolis, Illinois. I shouldn't say here in Metropolis, Illinois, right across the river from us in Metropolis, Illinois. 'Cause there's a man festival. Get your next free come shirt. Get your come shirt. It's free. So, yes, I have, I have, when it's been clean, I've seen it in the closet and been like, is it okay? Am I good? Can I wear this running? Is it okay to do that? And I decided, yes, it is. So, I've run in the come shirt before. I checked it for visible stage. Day more 2015. Yeah, that's my platform. We're 2016. No, I ran, I ran last year. So, yeah. Yep, I run, you meant for office. For office. For more tissue. Just covered in the dead. Yeah, exactly. I, man, who, if I ran through, like, if there was a blacklight station that I ran through, I would look like a fucking leopard. So, there's my, there's my really, really just, that's not even a good story. It's just, it's just gross. It's a good story. I'm, I bought it. Well, thank you. Hey, speaking of gross stories, we have a Patreon bonus episode that just came out. Yep. That is, wow. Maybe it's because I've heard the story before. I mean, it's gross. It is a gross story. It is probably the grossest story that, that we've told on the mics. You've told on the mics. That's, and that's saying a lot, because I think you've told some really, you've told some real gaggers. Sandwich Pope Bill Hawkins built the need to go ahead and explain exactly what it was to everyone in the chat before they got to it. What the story was, yes. And you know what? At first, I was annoyed that, that you did that Sandwich Pope Phil for like a split second. I was like, he's spoiling the show. And then when the outpouring of gratitude came from the other listeners, I was like, okay, that was probably a good call. Because there were several people who were like, oh, I'm not listening to that at all. And Phil was very, just, just take my money. I don't need the episode. Phil was very kind and saying, the first 60 minutes are good, just skip the 30, last 30, and you'll be fine. So thank you for, thank you for hedging us, Phil. But if you want to hear the gross story, we're on Patreon at patreon.com/tagbogg. Give us a dollar and you'll hear the gross story ever told. Yeah, because it was enough to get Anastasia and Anderson like, okay, this one, I'll give you the money for this one. It's like, I don't know if you regret that. Okay. Hopefully you didn't regret that. Yeah, I've been patron Frederick Snyder like, it's like, I can't forget about this. He's like, thanks. I think, okay. Hope you liked it. You're still a patron, so you didn't listen to it like, nope, duh. He liked, he also liked the, everyone is John. So that's cool. We do more, we do more games like that. They're not nearly as filthy as everyone is John, but yeah, I'm glad that we've been doing the little fears game. We can't be super filthy. I'm not going to have my six year old character, like blow a horse. That's not a thing that's going to happen. Spoilers from everyone's John Patreon bonus. Do they go to the stable? How does he use his I really love animals? All right, first call. You feel you feel the horse is not going into weight, lest he blows his load. All over. Thank you. Just all. I feel that I'm using the horse like a super soaker. I believe in it. I've seen this boy around horses, I believe. Um, you know what's weird? Seeing a coworker jerk a horse off in a sleeve. That's happened to me before. I've seen that before. Well, you were in Lexington. I did. That's just a thing you do, you're in Lexington. There's beer pong. There's corn hole and there's jerking horses off in sleeves. Bluegrass, UK basketball horse jerkins. I worked at a, I worked at a retail store that the owner of that store also owned a stud farm. So like all, I don't know why I said farm weird stud farm. Stud firm farm. So, um, all they do on that farm is jerk off horses. That's like you could moonlight for the stud farm. That's all they do. And I have a coworker mine from the store. I remember she loves horses. She's one of those. She's one of those people. She's a horse person. Um, the kind, like, I just don't understand that. I don't get that. Horses scared the shit out of me. They're just too big to be trusted. Um, so, and Phil shared a gift with me of a horse eating a baby chick. Have you seen this? No. Ah, show notes. It is absolutely horrifying. The chick is just kind of like running around, um, you know, like zigzag like chicks do. The horse just saunters up and sniffs it and then just, and then you see it just, and then it just like looks up and continues on with its day. Like it didn't just lose a shitlet of karma. I need to go open that evil door over there. I'm gonna eat this crunchy chick. Yeah. Get there. All right. So, yeah, I've got a coworker at the store, um, who goes up to the farm and they're like, Hey, want to collect, want to collect what we sell here? And she's like, yeah, sure. They're like, all right. Just throw this sleeve over the, over the horse and just go down. Just just jerk that horse. So I don't know if that's regular procedure. I imagine they were probably just fucking with her. She is not very bright. So, uh, yeah, it was one of those where she's like, I could not believe that it was happening. She had a huge smile on her face. She was like, can you believe this? And I was like, no, I never really turned the day before. No, and I'm never going to be able to look at you the same or touch any of your belongings. Yeah. So there we go. First call. Just be Adrian Brody. First time father. Long time be listening. Me have a question. What be your favorite Saturday nightlife skit? Was that Adrian Brody? Yeah. Was that Russian Jamaican? Adrian Brody when he did the thing that got him forever kicked off, started not live. Oh, what? No, I don't know the story there. When he, um, the last time he hosted, uh, in the middle, he was supposed to introduce who the mutual guest was, you know, but for some reason, like, he didn't tell anybody. He just went put on a full rostafarian outfit and introduced the musical guest. Yeah. And that in the Jamaican accent. And Lord Michael was like, nope, banned. So, huh. Yep. I mean, I remember seeing that show. I saw that show the Saturday at debuted. They like, that was weird. So who was the musical guest? Do you remember? I can't remember. Huh. Okay. Well, that all makes sense to me now. Um, Tyler, what's your favorite Saturday night life skit? Is that what you call it a skit? Mm hmm. Uh huh. One off skit or recurring skit. Uh, I love, oh man, I died so hard laughing at massive head wound Harry. Okay. I think that's pretty well regarded as like one of the top tier sketches. How about caveman lawyer? Yeah. Anything Phil Hartman does is good. Yeah. Anything Phil Hartman. Yeah. Period. Um, because Frankenstein, what's, yeah. What was that trio? As a referring fire bed. Mm hmm. Um, because I have a lot of certain a lot, but I've always loved starting out alive. You're a much, I'm, I'm a tertiary Saturday night life fan. Like, I just tune in every now and then. Yeah. Well, I'm an active. I love it. Have it on DVD. Make sure I watch the last several years. I make sure I don't miss an episode. Like I love starting out alive. I think my, the funniest one to me, like the funniest one off, I mean, I guess it's not really a one off because I think he did this character, um, more than once, but Chris Farley, when he does the inspirational, the motivational speaker. Matt Foley. Uh, is that a real person? Matt Foley. Is that, will you talk about where he's in the glasses? Yeah. Live in a band? Yeah. The reason the character's name? Yeah. Uh, cause the, like that moment, I love, I remember when I saw it cause like, David Spade can't keep a straight face around that. And it's like, for some reason for me in middle school, I was like, their friends. That's my big takeaway because it's like, I've seen, I know, they've seen them in a movie together. That's, they're just buddies. That's, and I don't, I don't know, honestly, I don't know what their personal relationship was like. I assume it was probably. No, they were very close friends. Yeah. I think if David Spade's career would have been totally different, had Chris Farley not, oh, yeah, no deed. Yeah. And the pictures that, like I've seen, like, I remember what website, yeah. Yeah. What on do you know? I can't remember it was something, it was bad. He was, he was a pretty hardcore drug addict. Yeah. And I've seen the pictures. Oh, they're terrible. The what pictures? The pictures that were, they found him. Like, oh, man, it's grisly. It's really, it's really, really grisly and terrible. No link in the show notes. So that's your favorite. That's my favorite. The found, found dead Chris Farley photos. Massive head wound, Harry, of course. I like a lot of stuff by Will Ferrell. I don't feel like it ages very well. Any of the political stuff with Tina Fey being like Sarah Palin or. Yeah. Will Ferrell is George Bush. You mean Tina Fey at her hottest. Yeah. Darryl Hemmen is Al Gore and Will Ferrell as George W. Bush, Lockbox debates and everything political I love on SNL. I still remember really well, like the episode that Steve Forbes hosted and like, yeah, I remember hearing about that. I don't know that I saw that one. Oh, yeah. I guess my favorite thing on SNL is anything political. They always do that really well. All right. I don't have anything else to ask because I'm not a huge SNL guy. Do you feel like that sufficiently answered? Oh, Eddie Murphy's. Mr. Rob is in his neighborhood. Yeah. I thought it was hilarious. That's way back. That's a long time ago. That's way back. Hey, Miss Gumby, also good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's probably pretty sufficient. All right. We got it. Put another one in the books. All right. Here we go. Here's a call from 651. Thank you, Adrian Brody. By the way, if we're going. Looking fantastic. Brody here. Now, I know there's a lot of calls for me, but here's this one out. I got a suggestion that you guys might like for an episode. I don't know, maybe maybe a Monday, maybe a Patreon up to you. I don't know if you, I don't know if you have heard about the game, but it's Crypt of the Necrodancer. I just picked it up yesterday without have been the. No, this tomorrow, it had been the third. And it rocks. It's been on PC for quite a while, maybe for a year, but it just came out on PS4 and I've been playing it and it's like a rhythm, roguelike game. It's, it's bananas. It's pretty cool. But yeah, check it out. And I hope to hear it as an episode. If not, just find some other way to communicate if you, if you got it or not, because I'm having blast with it. All right. And I don't want to eat cut off. So I'll talk to you guys later. You just made Paul Corn, rhythm master Paul Corn so hard. So hard. Just so hard. Because I've gotten a death threat from Paul Corn, if we ever do that, don't have them on. So yeah, we, we've heard a group of the Necrodancer. I own it. I've played it. As do I haven't played it, but I do own it. I'll leave it at that. Once we get, once we get Paul Corn on here, I'm happy to discuss it until then it's on lockdown. That's a, uh, that's a good suggestion. Cody, I imagine we'll probably get to that. Yeah. All right. Here is a call from a good friend, Terri Landon. Mother fucking, every time I have called the past few times is in anger. I didn't let you know. There's only reason Mike Glennham donates to you on Patreon is so that he can hear this sweet voice on any secret episode because heaven forbid that I'm on an episode and he doesn't get to hear it. He has a soccer problem. We're working on it. I'm just playing Mike's awesome. That will come ripped. Little fucking trials aren't off the wall. That is the only reason he donates is because I was on an app and he couldn't hear it. I know that's why. And Mike, if you're listening to it, you know that's true. Thanks, Mike and Terri. The reason I'm calling is because I just got done with the pinball episode. And I just wanted to say from a fan, you know, I know I haven't listened from the very, very beginning, but I did start listening fairly early on. And I just want to say that that was probably one of my favorite episodes and one of the most fascinating episodes that you guys have done because I know you guys love video games and I know that's what the podcast is about, but that was incredible knowledge about pinball and hand clap for Chris. That was fantastic. I love hearing about it. And Chris, if you're ever in Houston, Texas or Tyler and Dave, you know, you could come visit me once in a while. You know, I'm sure your families won't mind. I'm too poor. I'm walking through some joysticks in Houston. And it's got absolutely an insane collection of pinball machines. But I just wanted to say thank you for a great episode. That was that was awesome. So hope you guys are okay. And you're welcome for that extra Patreon donation because that was all me. So screw you, Tyler. I did not deserve that. And you should apologize. I will take money and or two. She's berating you for something that you said. She's berating you for something that you said. Let's see this call. She left us call on February 3rd. So I'll leave it to you to deduce what you said about her before. On today's episode. Why is Terry mad at me? Yeah. Whatever you said, I'm assuming it's horrible. It's horrible, horrible. I have no problem pimping Karen out for money. No problem whatsoever with that. The episode where Pimball Archmage Chris Adler came on was a great episode. It really was. That was a very different episode for us. And I think it had the possibility of not working, but it totally worked. It totally worked. Chris was great, super knowledgeable, funny dude laid back. So it was it was an amazing it was amazing time. It was in it. I think it's shown through in the episode. Yeah. Shown, shine, shown, shown through. Showny, it's Showny Baird way through the episode. So thanks, Taryn. And thanks for being the one that we always have on Patreon bonus episodes to talk about nasty stuff with. You're our nasty girl. Heart nasty girl. Also, I love Taryn. I love this message. You sounded like a mother who had gotten to her limit where she's like, I'm going to let a bad word slip in front of my kids when she's like, I will rip that motherfucking Charles on off the wall. I was like, man, she is channeling one of my aunts right now. All right. Here we go. Here's another call. This is from four one zero. I think this is Tony. What's up guys? Tony. Tony. I just got the listening to the Stargate episode. I also thought you guys did a great job. Thank you, Tony. I am 100% in support of Dave's Stargate. No, no whole tattoo. I think that's it. Thanks for reminding me I said that thing. But I have a question related to Doug's strategy, guys. I recently started playing again after a very long hiatus. I played exclusively online in Apple, Finger, Cody's, D&D group. So I don't really have a need for physical dice. But my question is, do you guys have special said to dice? What kind of dice bag do you have? I love all the poly-equal dice. I think they're kind of cool. So they're kind of a fetish in mind. So just curious what you guys do in your D&D games. Keep up the good work, guys. And I will be listening. Thanks, Tony. We inadvertently answered this question on a recent episode. We were talking about Crown Royal Bags. From which we got, by the way, a lot of listeners or handful listeners sent us photographs of whiskey and Crown Royal Bags. I think that's also thanks for doing that. That was my dice bag for the longest time. It was the Purple Crown Royal bag. And then I upgraded to a leather pouch. You have a nice leather pouch. I don't even remember where it came from, honestly. I assume it was how long I had it. It probably was because I've been to a bunch of those because I'm really cool. So it probably was a Renaissance fair. Nikki's got one that I love that she bought at DragonCon, which is it's a really cool design because it's got, I guess, a little sheet of hard plastic sewed into the bottom so that it sets down. It sets flat. And then it's got the-- Now, it spills over and bomb its dice all the place. Exactly. I love my dice bag, but it's so full that it's more like a leather ball. Yeah, your dice bag full is like an Arabian drinking sack, like whatever they like. Have their-- where they've carried the water in or milk in through the desert on the backs of campals. Yeah, really. It's insane. I've got too much-- too much dice. Just hanging out in there. But hers is nice because it's got that flat bottom and it's got this really cute cat mod pattern on it. So that's neat. She was happy to find it. Oh, Josh. Josh Nance has a chain link, like a chain mail leather chain mail leather chain mail dice bag. Yeah. And then he and Nicole have a machine through which to drop dice into-- A dice tower. Yeah. A dice tower, which I don't love. It's one of those things where it's like, as much as I roll my dice off of the table on accident, I still don't think I'd want to use a dice tower. There's something about that just letting it leave your hand violently and hit the table. But then again, I don't play on a table that I want to maintain. Yeah. That might be a difference because it's like the dice tower is kind of like Plinko but for a D20. Yeah. I have a special Clickers Edition Naruto DVD. I got my leaf headband and a sand village dice bag. So I use the sand village dice bag. Yeah. And as far as dice go, I use a different set for every character that I play. Man, I hate that barrel D20. I hate that barrel D20. That is, yeah, I don't know what's because I use that as pudge and as a character in one of your one shots. Yeah. Yeah. And one of the fifth edition one shots I think, right? Yeah. The barrel D20 for those who don't know, instead of it looking like a ball with angular sides, it looks like a cylinder where all the numbers are displayed horizontally on this cylinder. And you just kind of, you don't like put it in your hand and make a jerk off motion and then let it go to roll it, you just kind of push it. And since it is shaped kind of like a barrel, it just rolls. And Tyler's was defective because it would always roll between a 20 and an 18. Typically a 17, I think, like I hit so many 17s with that. Unless you were fipping because it is impossible for anybody else to see the job. Oh, John Turley was right beside me. Like every time I looked at there, he'd like lean directly over the top of it. So, that's probably because he felt intimidated because he did not roll well. Oh, man. Yeah, John's one of the cursed. Yeah. One of my favorite D&D stories is when you guys were in the wilderness and Josh's character, Char was fighting an owl bear, I believe it was. And they got in a wrestling match, Char. And this owl bear kind of got in like a grappling fest. And Aramil, John's character decided that he was good. He rolled up and decided that he was going to help and just put this owl bear just full of arrows. So, there was a percentage chance that he would hit Josh's character, Char, on each attack. And John was very much a ranger. He had like a rabbit shot. He had many shot. Like, I mean, he could fire so many arrows per round that it was, it was marvelous. He could add his decks to damage. So, I mean, it was, it was great. He rolled up on this, fired all of his arrows every single one of them hit Char. Every single one of them. I remember also his, because he had a ranger spell, like Hunter's Mark, which is next one is automatically a critical threat. So, like, he cast that even and just shoots Josh's character in the head. But for, I mean, to say good things about Char, he survived that. Yeah. He was a well-crafted, very tough character. Mm-hmm. Bard-Barian? Bard-Barian, yes. I miss Char. Do you feel like that has been sufficiently answered? Is there anything else we want to add? Because it's weird. Like, whatever I think my character's theme will be, will be what I go after in a, in DICE. Oh, yeah. Like, for Warden, who is my very naturey, Bard-Barian, and Josh's last game, I bought a set of dice that had vines and leaf pattern all over it. And, yeah. So, that's just, that's how I, that's how I do. A lot of people like, we'll have one set and that's their die. Like, Jacob has a M&M Minis container with his dice that it just, that's his dice that he uses. So, everyone's different. When's the last time you purchased dice? Probably for Warden, the last, like, new game that I played in. So, how long ago would that have been? Two years ago, maybe? It's been a long time, though. Yeah. Most of my games have been online. Which is kind of, I mean, it's great because I get to play D&D, but it also, like, taking the dice component out of it, I agree with Tony. It's kind of, it's, it's, it's, it's kind of sad. Yeah. Because that's, like, dice are cool. I'm with you, Tony. I think dice are cool. That's why I have so many in my round leather Arabian water bag. That's what the, the chess-extended Dragon Con. And I'm super glad that Doppelganger Cody is running a game for you guys. I think that's, that's really nice. I'm glad that you get to experience or re-experience D&D. All right. Thanks for calling Tony. We got another call. This is from 5-2-0. I'm sorry. Actually, it's a text message. From 5-2-0, who says, "Motherfucking Tadpog, if I were to get a TAT on my ass, I'd get the Death Star. So whenever I take a shit, I can pretend I'm destroying Alderaan." I mean, that worked for explosive diarrhea, but otherwise you're just like re-shaping Alderaan? Terraforming. Yeah. Tyler, I'm not sure if you're familiar with how the Death Star fires, but there, there's, so there's a circle. You know the Death Star is a big, just a big old circle. Some wouldn't mistake it for a moon. Inside that circle is a smaller circle. Kind of looks like a satellite dish almost, kind of inset. So the way it works is, there are guys wearing black stormtrooper armor, essentially, but they have funny helmets. And they all just pull these very 1970s-looking levers to fire a mini-laser. So around the diameter of this inset circle, these green mini-lasers fire out, and they meet. And when they meet, there is a huge giant laser fires out. So it's being powered by a bunch of mini-lasers. So what I assume this person wants is like eight tiny butt holes on his or her butt that fire just tiny poop strands that meet. Larger. And then they entwine and then there's just this large, like pipe-busting turd that just fires violently into the toilet. Every time this person goes to the bathroom for a number two, there's more water on the floor than there is in the rest of the building because it hits with such violence. They just go through toilets. They've got loads on speed dial. They're like, "Yeah, Dan went through another one. We needed an alder on 14, please." Dan heard Papa John's. We got another text message from 520 who says, "Ooh, this actually, this one I actually like a lot. I get pleasure at reading it already." KFM, which is, I guess, a kill fuck Mary or a knockoff KFC. Kentucky Fried Meat product. KFM, emo girl, goth chick or hipster gal. For me, kill hipster gal as I fucking can't stand hipsters as PBR is pricey now. I'd fuck the shit out of the emo girl. So that's the end of the text message. So I assume he's going to marry the goth chick. I like this question a lot because I've given this a lot of thought in my spare time because I like the aesthetic of all three of these stereotypes. I'm with him. I think the hipster is the least appealing. Not to say it's gross, but really other to its the least appealing. Why is that? I don't know. I guess it is. There's not, it doesn't feel as a well-defined of a niche to me. So kill hipster girl, I'm going to fuck goth girl. I don't want to marry goth girl, but like goth girl is going to be, that's going to be a good time. So fuck goth girl, I'm going to marry emo girl. Okay. Any reason you're going to marry emo girl? I guess that appeals to me the most and feel like that has the most long term, long term stability in the emo girl. You think? Um, all right. Here it is for me. I'm going to marry the hipster girl because I feel like that is going to be a person that I can have a conversation with for the rest of my life. Okay. I feel like that's, that's. If that's your thing, if you like talking to girls. Well, I'm going to marry her. I might as well like have some interesting conversation. Plus, um, I mean, we're married. So we'll have sex for like two years. And we have, we have, I didn't move established that marriage to us is more of a down to an abbey thing. And every other kill fuck Mary, we're going for money. Well, in that case, I feel like I'm here. So hipster girl is probably the most wealthy, to be honest. So then I guess I'm going to have to kill the emo girl, do her favor, do for her. It's maybe assisted suicide. You probably get off. You're going to Canada and do it. You get off Scott free. So I'm just saying she might like that, which means that I'm going to fuck the goth chick and I'm okay with that because, um, I like, I like that aesthetic. I like, I like that choice. Um, but I get a lot to you, but I do not want to be around it every day of my life. Like, I don't want to like, I want to fuck the suicide girl. Right. Right. But I don't want to wake up in the morning and be like, all right, well, we've got this picnic that we need to go to for work. So three hours, I'll let you put on your like, uh, all your like gothic Lolita shit that's going to take. All right. Okay. So we got to put the hair thing. Okay, that's going to take like an hour. Hair drills. Thank you. Okay. Yeah. I do like the gothic Lolita stick. I like that. Yeah, there's a there's a character in Danganronpa that does that. Yeah. Like it. I dig it. What do you like about it? I don't know. Cause just the straight Lolita look I'm not into, but for some reason, the gothic twist to it works. I agree. I agree. And I think honestly, I think it really does have to do with the reason that I wouldn't want to marry the gothic girl, the goth girl. And that is all that preparation. I mean, that's like a lot goes into it. Just like that is great for like a one time thing where it's like, yes, prepare, prepare your body for four hours. I'm going to one mile. We need to get eight containers of baby powder while the leather. Okay. All right. Cool. People are, I think we're coke heads, but okay. I do not have the budget for this relationship. The hipster girl, on the other hand, I feel like she's roll out of bed and still look pretty great. Just put those glasses on and just pretty much look pretty much look great. I assume not going to eat much so I don't have to pay much for food. I can convince her. No, no, no. We're both skinny because we choose to be that way, not because we can't afford food. We have another text message. We have rapid fire questions from 520 who says, oh, I'm sorry. He got cut off. He or she got cut off might be a girl in the girls who said and marry the goth girl because I like death metal. All right. I could tolerate death metal for the long enough it takes for the love making. I enjoy making love to cradle a self. Oh, is that a bad? Yeah. Oh, you know, a bad that I don't know. Which shouldn't really surprise me. Who is cradle of Phil? I remember my friend Mitchell was just really cradle of Phil back in high school. Okay. So I remember looking through a CD collection and being astonished by that one. Yeah. What that and anal cut. Oh, that's a that's a that's just a friendly name because you want to work with somebody for a year. Get over here, you anal cut. Help me out with this project. You know what? I should be taking notes for show notes because cradle of filth would be great to include on there, but I didn't bring my laptop. So translation, the show notes for this episode are going to be very, very bad. They're going to have nothing to do with the show. We got one final text message from 520 who says, hey, Tyler, since you got glasses, now you have plus one to attractiveness. Welcome to the club. Thank you. I've seen you in those once. Yeah. And you put them on for the very often. I want to, I want to clear the air a little bit. I was just joking about you, you encroaching on my on my not to wear. I know that's why. I know I know that's why. So I just wanted to address it. James, come over. I got to hide these. Exactly. I never see you wearing them. So I just know that you put them away and you're a little drawer. You're like, I know, I don't want to, I don't want to, my man size gun safe. Just filled entirely with classes that you've worn your entire life. Just never around. Just hit them from me to spare my, to spare my feelings. So welcome to the club, Tyler. I also welcome you to the plus one attractive in this club. So I don't have hairplugs either. Like I don't want to approach on Dave's their dream of having hair. No, having hairplugs. I have these done. When I get out of the pool, I look like a love crafty and horror. Like Homer Simpson, you just have four distinct strands. It's very true. I've had, um, I've had hair from one, from gathered from around one of the five small buttholes on my butt and put on, put on my head. All right. Thanks for all those text messages, five, two, zero. You kind of got my, uh, kind of got my juices going talking about all those girls that I like. So thank you. Here is a, another call from seven, five, seven. What's up, Pat Paw? Get your beloved Adam. Love it Adam. Raining on Thursday morning, and I'm driving to work still in the middle of your, or almost near the end of your duck tails. I mean, uh, let's start this over. Okay. Take it from the top. Get your beloved Adam. It's raining Thursday morning and I'm driving to work. I'm near the end of your dark wing duck episode. I'll probably call back sometime soon to talk about that. But I just wanted to put a little pro tip in your ear. Uh, you guys are talking about Bomberman 64 being $200. I think it's probably referring to Bomberman 64 second strike, uh, which is normally like a $100 game. Uh, so if you have the regular Bomberman 64, it's probably like a $20 game. I could be a little off, but, um, but I just want to let you know not to go out and try to sell your game for too much and then get blasted by people because you're trying to sell a really cheap game for a really expensive price. But, um, I don't want to change the format with anything Pat Paw. But if there was something that I could do to change one thing about Pat Paw, I guess that I would stop using Amazon, uh, to figure out the prices of the games because some of, sometimes they're just way off. Uh, sometimes they're way off. What I use is a website called price charting.com. What it does is it takes all the listings that are sold on Amazon, eBay and half.com and averages them out and gives you a better, uh, estimate of something. So that may be something to look into, but like I said, I don't want to change anything you guys are doing. I just know that that's a really helpful site for me when I'm trying to buy a game and I want to know about how much they're worth or even sell games to know about how much they're worth. So, uh, hopefully those are a few tips that maybe give you a little bit of help and, uh, I love you guys, uh, looking forward to hearing more episodes this week. Uh, and I'll give you a call sometime soon about Dark Wing Duck. If I have anything to say about it, now I'll make something up. See you. Love you. Bye. We love you too, Adam. Um, price charting is great. I found out about price charting on one of the game collecting subreddits. Um, that's what I used for all of, when I was purchasing all the N64 games. Um, and for the most part, and I think we said this on the show before Amazon have the worst prices, uh, which is part of the reason why I like to use Amazon for the, how much is this game on Amazon? Well, that, I mean, no one knows, but like we're close friends with Jeff Bezos. Yeah. So like we just tried to throw him and he needs a little support around. So there you go, Uncle Bezos. So that's why I, that's why I use Amazon because of a close personal relationship and because it's usually comically, comically off. Um, the bomberman 64, someone told me, and I'm, I apologize. I cannot remember which listener, uh, it was, but thank you, someone told me that that was probably way off because of a regional thing. Um, bomberman 64, apparently is a lot more expensive. And I think Europe, uh, than it is in the U S. And this is me just totally going off the top of my head from several months ago. So I, I'm not 100% positive, but I was told that it was a regional thing. I know second strike is more expensive, though, because when I was, um, searching for bomberman 64 for the show, I did find second strike and it was super annoying because on eBay, um, those would be lumped in with just the regular bomberman 64 game. So I'd have to kind of like, uh, rifle through all of them to find them. And I remember seeing those and being like, damn, I'm glad that I don't have to buy this, because this game is much more expensive than, than bomberman. So Ron has been trying to collect, rebuild his super intent on N64 collection. And he said like N64 is surging at the moment. Oh, you probably bought them at a fortunate time. I don't need to go on there and sell all of them. Yeah. Now, uh, because I don't want to play any of those games again. Yep. Um, with you. Uh, so thanks for calling at them. That is a great site. If you are buying, um, retro video games, that is a really good one to check because I like half dot com every now and then, uh, I picked up a great deal on an N64 game. So thank you for the suggestion. I, I think we just need to decide whether or not we want to keep it, uh, ridiculous or if we need to go with like a more informative route, um, accuracy or bombasticity. I don't know. We'll figure it out. We usually air on the, yeah. All right. So here is a call from someone who's very mad at you. Mom. Good morning, Ted. Yeah. It's Karen. What's going on? She seems to have cooled off waiting for a package to arrive. So I'm listening to the Stargate app, which I have no idea what Stargate is. If you even talk about it, I don't really care, but I'm halfway through it and I don't want to forget what I want to say. Number one, Dave, I am right there with you. I fucking love Kanye West. I love his outlandish, crazy. I am the best person on the planet personality. Well, he's probably a Slytherin. That's probably why you didn't like that. But the Amber Rose chick, Fanger and his butthole, like, what's the big deal, Kanye? You know, in my experience, I've had a few guys that like it and, you know, it can be fun. I mean, Kanye just own it. Own it like you own everything else. Number two, you have to watch. This is the end. It is absolutely one of the funniest, funniest movies because all these characters, all these actors play themselves and they play asshole versions of themselves or something of that nature. And the Michael Sarah part is absolutely hysterical. And I hope that he, in real life, does rails and flaps Rihanna's ass and gets girls to jerk him off and set them off at the same time because you need to watch this movie. It is hilarious. Yeah, it sounds like I do need to watch that. What's in the show notes and this girl getting the tattoo that says bit please on her butthole. Yeah. Holy shit. So I watched a friend of mine get a tattoo on her vagina. She, this is hysterical. She got a tattoo of Winnie the Pooh. Yes, the beloved children's character with the pooh. That's because it's her honey pie. This is the second. Like not the fact that she got the tattoo on her vagina because she got it like right on the lip. But she got a tattoo when you pulled back the lip inside, inside the lip of a honey pot. The precious little Winnie the Pooh and you spread her legs open and that's the honey pot. I watched her go through that in fucking agony. So I cannot imagine how this girl got her butthole, butthole tattooed. Like I'm just in pain for her. But my question is... My question is who is this girl? She's with anyone that had any... Cynthia Langhur mother. Langhit piercings or nipple piercings. I have messed around with one fella that had a piercings and it was interesting. But more on that later. Hope you guys have a good day. Have a lovely weekend and we'll talk to you soon. Bye bye. So I was being a huge goofball and talked over her question so I don't know what she actually has. How we feel about like lip piercings, nipple piercings, genital piercings. I love them. Yeah. A big fan. Huge fan. It's not a deal breaker. Like if they're not there, it's not a deal breaker. But if they're there, that's great. However, I don't know how I'd feel about Winnie the Pooh just staring back at me while I'm, you know, taking a taste from a hundred five. We can get pooh. No pooh. This is mine. Candy, you cannot have any. It would be better if it was like the tattoo with like from mons to taint. Yeah, it wasn't tree. And then the hole was when pooh is stuck halfway in. They're just an annoyed rabbit on one of the butt cheeks. I vaginal piercings. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I've never, I've only seen them on shippers. I don't think they're super appealing. I just remember that one stripper that I didn't know she had one until I went and sat on the stage and gave her a dollar. And she spread and it looked like Christmas time because she had like tons of glow in the dark clip piercings. So that's festive strands of popcorn tinsel everything nipple piercings. I'm all for that. I like that. Never been with anybody that has those but in pornography, I'm into it. I've always wanted to floor on the girl with a tongue ring never have. I don't I don't like set and piercings. It's not not not my thing. I like the nose like stud on the side. But other than that, certain piercings aren't really my aren't really my jam. Other than that, like all sorts of ear piercings, great, dermal piercings, whatever. Yeah, all for it. Yeah, I kind of draw the line at body modding. Yeah. Like that's where I start to kind of get like, oh, I don't know. And even some of that, I mean, if it's done, if it's done well, it doesn't bother me. I was reading an article about the the booming plastic surgery area of reconstructing ears that were they had the large holes placed in like people an hour like, oh, let's get my ears put like put back together. Yeah. I mean, I do lie. I mean, I think it's cool. Like, I think gauges are cool. And like, I don't have a problem with them. It's one of those things where it's like, but like that in all of this, I mean, all of these things are like, oh, man, that's really cool. I think that's, I think that's neat. That is not a thing that I would ever do or ever could do. I don't think that fits my general aesthetic. Like, it'd be very weird. I feel like if I was exactly the way I am right now, but I had enormous gauges in my ears. Like, I just don't think that that would mesh. You're what you're earring. You're the up top piercing one's enough. I did have a cartilage piercing, an upper cartilage piercing my ear. And it looked really dumb. And it got infected and I had to take it out. And I'm super glad that it did, because it looked so fucking dumb. At the time, I didn't realize that. But like, now I know that it looked really, really, really, embarrassingly stupid. And I told my sister that just recently, because she asked me, she asked me what I thought about my, the piercing that I had. And I told her that I think it was so fucking dumb. It's not like I can't really say that I regret it, because it's like, oh, there is just a little bit of like scar tissue up there in my ear now. It's not a big deal. It's not super noticeable. But I said, hey, look, do what you want to do. But just know that in 10 years, you might be like, no, that was dumb. I don't even know why she did it. She got like, I don't know what part of the ear it is. It's like, okay, so imagine an ear, right now on its side, a profile of an ear. Here's the hole in the ear. And then you just go up to that little bridge above it. You know that thing? She got that pierced. And it is so tiny. Like, it is so tiny that like, when she showed it to me, we were sitting across a dinner table at a restaurant. So not very wide. I couldn't see it. I had to get like right up on her. And it looks, it looks like just a little bit of glitter, like just a piece of glitter on her ear. And I was like, seriously, you were like, you were like, considering whether or not this was something you should do. This is nothing. This is not even noticeable. Just the tiniest, tiniest. Not the full bar, the length of the top of the ear. No, no, no, no oversized, safety pin, nothing like that. So, but that suits her. Yeah. That like, it would be very much like me. It would be weird if she showed up with like, huge gauges in her ear, piercings on other people. I love them. Tattoos on other people. I love them. Like, I wish that I could get tattoos. And the reason that I don't, that what always holds me back is I like to change things as like, yeah, I don't know what I would want forever. Yeah, like, yeah, exactly. It's that forever part, where it's like, I like how things look. Like, I like how some tattoos look, but there's a part of me that I have, I struggle with just getting a tattoo for a look, you know, because I like all those like sailor jerry tattoos, but I would feel disingenuous having like those tattoos because it's like they wouldn't mean anything to me. They would just be like stickers. They'd essentially be like stickers that I've put on my body. I don't think there's anything wrong with that either. Like, you don't want to get a full length, peat and peat, like the day, the lady on pizza. That would be really, that would be really sweet. And I am not going to lie to you. I have thought of that before. They have the guys who played peat and peat, you know their names. I don't. Dan Tamborelli is the young peat. I can remember older peat's name. Well, he, the Danny on, they have a podcast. I don't, I hope it's still going. I stopped listening, but it was good. Danny is all the time people come up to him showing him the Petunia tattoo. So, I mean, there, there are a lot of people out there with it. I would love to get tattoos. Like I would love to have like half sleeves even because I think they look amazing. I love how that looks. It's just, I can't go through with it. Like, I can't imagine a time in my life where I'm going to be able to pull the trigger on that because it's like, I feel like I've passed that. Like, I feel like I'm to the age now where it would be really, really weird for me to like, just get half, like half sleeves. You could do it. I think I could pull it off. But I just think it's, I don't know. I don't know. There's something about it that I have to get over. It costs more like, they forgot the, the funnel you can have one and then it's an extra hundred dollars every year over. I'm not going to lie to you, the price is part of it because they are fucking expensive. Yeah, to get a well done tattoo. Yeah, really like thousands of dollars. So, I mean, they last forever. But the other part of that is like, if you don't touch them up, like if you don't have them touched up, they just look like blobs. Yeah, they just start to look like blobs. My granddad was in the Navy. He's got a shitload of tattoos. And I remember as a kid, like seeing him with a shirt off, it was just like, it was just like blobs. He just had blobs like on his body. So, I don't know. That, that might be part of it too, because you got to maintain that shit. Yeah, I just, I just don't know. I have no idea what I would want to have forever, so. How about you and I pick some out for each other? Or, or that's a, that's a Patreon goal. If we reach a certain amount of money, the, the Patreon donors get to decide what tattoos we get. We get to the point where this is all we have to do for a living, then they get to pick our tattoos. I think that's fair. I think that's fair. I would do that. If we could, if we could, I would subject myself to that. That's fair. Yeah. If we could make a living doing just this Patreon, yeah. Okay. I'll tattoo whatever. Whatever. Get tattoos. It won't be spit first on my no-no hold, but it, well, it might be. It'll be pussy eater across both of our top lips. I love that tattoo, man. That is hilarious. I always joked about getting the, thanks for playing in the Pac-Man font, right above my wiener. But then I realized that not too many people are going to see that, so it's probably a waste of money. All right. Thanks for calling Taren. We have another call from Taren. So what do you think? Should we, how are we, we're good on time, yeah? How good are we on time? I know, I know we want to do as many as we can. Another 20 minutes? Okay. So my, I would like to propose that we don't end until we get to exalted Lord Mike and produce call in honor of his birthday. Done. All right. So we're coming for you, Lord Mike. Don't worry. Here it looks like we've got Taren again. Hey, I apologize, Taren again. I just had the weirdest stage of when I asked the piercing question. So if I've asked it before, I apologize. It's weird for me to call in sober and remember things. So, you know, this is what, this is daytime Taren, okay? Or, you know, one up sober, Taren. But if I've asked you before, I apologize. I just, I can't imagine getting the lady bits pierced. Like I have a tattoo that's close enough and it hurt and not, it hurt plenty. And I can't imagine a needle going through my lady bit. And I was in the chair about. That's it. So we'll assume that it happened. And she said that she was, that she was like strapped in there, ready to get. Well, she's had several tattoos. She has multiple, I want to say like four tattoos, maybe more. I imagine her most painful. I know she has music notes on her inside of her wrist. I imagine that was painful too. Hmm. Well, she cut off, I can skip ahead. She does call back, but it is like a day later. So I don't know if it's a continuation or not. Yeah, we'll just plow through. We'll fly out eventually. All right. Well, Taren, we're on the edge of our seats here. How did it go? What happened? Tyler, would you ever consider a piercing? No. No. There's no kind of piercing that I think I would look good with. So no. Well, you're your fat wiener, probably. Yeah. That would probably be good. Just like it looks like you're about to go fishing. Like you just like just all kinds of manner of metal and hooks. Let's get that fish hook through the head. Yeah. And then you could paint little eyes on the helmet to make it look like it's a caught fit. So you've got this joke where you walk in. Oh, it's a big one. I call it a big one. Or it's done like what's the musical instrument that you play like in second grade that's like it's a stick with a cheese grater, a wood cheese grater that looks like a fish. Oh, that just just painted up like that. I do have notches down the sides. That's how I always know it's you in the dark. What I feel the notches of the side when you go when you when you deep throat and catch. That's what it's for. It's the trap, people. You're nodding essentially. Jesus. All right. Here is another call. This is from 614. Hey guys, Kyle here. So I started a new job in the IT department. And I really like all the guys I work with. And I really think they'd enjoy your podcast. But I was hoping that you guys could help with how can I introduce the podcast to them without me getting fired. I don't want them to think that I just listen like only to podcasts about six. But it's like what I do. So just really really any help. There's not really any family member or friend I can go to with it. So if you guys just want to help me out, maybe I can get you a six more listeners if I tell them about it. Thanks. Kyle, I do want those six new listeners. So I'm gonna try to come up with a strategy. Well, you have to wait for them to say they like games and say, oh, I've got a good podcast for you. It's really it's good, but it's they're super blue. So if you like your comedy, super blue, but here's a gaming podcast for you. Or wait for them to say, I like really just the grossest comedy. Just just the grossest grossest stuff. Then there's your end. It's true. Hey, I've got a podcast for you. Or you can say, or you can do the whole thing where it's like, you know, a friend of mine turned me on to this podcast. And it's, I mean, it's out there. It's out there. Yeah. Yeah. It's not my favorite, but you might be interested in you could do that. You could play it off. We know you're we know that we're your favorite podcast. So we're not gonna get mad for your little fib, your little white lie, because you're gonna get a six new listeners. And that's really that's really what matters. Yeah. So yeah, yeah, I think that's all good. Yeah. Or or oh, send us your address. I'll mail you some tadpaw promo cards. And then you can like, like you can, if you're going to lunch or something, you can just kind of set them like on the table. And when you show up, you're like, Oh, what is this? Oh, this is a video game podcast. This looks like it could be fun. How about we get back to work and all listen to it together? I've downloaded what everybody come to my house this Friday night. I've downloaded several completely at random podcast. We can all have a listing party. So there, that's good. Right? Yeah, those are all good options. People do that all the time. Good options. Okay. Cool. Yeah. Thank you for calling column. Here is a call from 614 Google Translate is very short. Google Translate is just a three words. The call is almost a minute long. So let's. Let's see. Let's see. Do it. Do it. vacation, soul vacation, soul vacation. What's the point? I'm actually seeing it. Okay. Thanks for calling 614. Here's my takeaway. I told you 580 sometimes sneaks back. Here's my takeaway. This is what your call reminds me of. And I did this last night. Sometimes I'm watching some amateur love making. Sometimes I watch that. And a lot of times the audio quality is not great on those. And the girl will say something and I'm like, Oh God, I bet that was hot. But I couldn't make it out. And I'll like scrub back, like which I'll turn the volume up and I'll listen to it again. I still didn't make it out. So I'll scrub back. I'll turn it up even louder. And I'll be like, All right, I still don't know what she's saying, but I'm going to, I assume that it's something very ironic. I had some friends that lived together and their rooms are directly across the hall from each other. And the friend I frequently talked to, he was in his room and he heard his roommate and his girlfriend having sex. And he goes pretty, pretty clear that they were having sex. He can't hear her, but he hears the motion. And he hears him at first, like he says, like, did you do it? Wait a bit longer, did you do it? And very aggressively, did you do it? And so it took a long because he was like, what did she do? What is he going to do? So it turns out like they were having sex and he was wondering if he gave her an orgasm. So he was saying, did that do it? But he said it more like, did you do it? Oh, I did it. Yeah. All right. So thanks for calling. Here is a text message from 763. The best part of that call from 614 was me remembering that video that I watched last night. So thank you. This text message from 763 says, fucking Tadpog, colon, Google video search, naughty alley phone, and throw the first video in the show notes. It's pretty amazing. I know what video you're talking about. At least I think that I do because I am familiar with naughty alley. Oh, I know. I know. I know what you're talking about too. Yeah. That was bookmarked in my favorite for a while. That's it. That's in my stuff that Dave likes subreddit. You're so dirty. Yeah. You can quote it. I love it. You can quote it. So 763. Thank you. We're on that naughty alley tip. What's great is Tyler? I've never discussed this video before. It's just something we subconsciously bonded over. Thank you. Oh, Jesus. Here is a call from Taryn. Let's see if she finishes the story from earlier. Oh, I Tadpog. This is Taryn. So I've called you sober like the past 14 times. So I thought I'd call you a little drunk. Perfect. Kind of my thing. So I was actually just discussing with Tyler about sexual awakening movies. And I'm sitting here watching Cruel Intentions, which is definitely one of my sexual awakening movies. And you know, yeah, I was probably like middle school when this came out. But you know, Ryan Felipe and Sarah Michelle Geller being a total fucking slut, terrible bitch. Like that was one of my sexual awakening movies because this is one of the first movies that I saw that showed me that women can have the sexual upper power. And that's fucking awesome. But I just wanted to ask you what were some of your sexual awakening movies? I've had a hardcore crush on Andrew McCarthy since I can remember. So definitely we can at Bernie's and mannequin were some of mine. And I know I saw them later in life. Obviously I was born 84. And I know some of those came out in like late 80s. So I saw them later in life and knew that I was attracted to him. Also fear was one of mine. Again, Reese Witherspoon and Marky Mark from The Funky Bunch and his little underwear and his damn little abs and fingering her on a rollercoaster. Maybe that's why I like roller coasters. Like let's get real in depth with this here. But how do you feel about fingerings though? I think that's the better question. Hate them. It was one of my sexual awakening movies. Holy shit. Have we just discovered something? I don't know. I think we are. That was one of them. Also, and you know, obviously I talk about friends every time I'm on there. But friends was one of my sexual awakening shows. I've never admitted this to anyone except maybe one or two people. But you know, I was that show came out what 94 95. So I was 10 11 years old. You're the expert. I had the poster of all of them drinking milkshakes on my wall. And I used to make out with the Chandler with Matthew Perry on my post because I thought he was so hot. It was a rock gal. Even though that was one of my favorite, you know, different parts of the show. But Chandler was my man from the get go. I always thought he was very sexy. But anyway, now you know some more information about me and hope you guys are doing great. I'm going to continue drinking. It's Friday night. All right. And I feel all right. All right. Here on the West side. Is that right? I don't know. But anyway, I'm going to keep drinking. I'm on my couch watching cruel intentions. And I will talk to you guys soon. Have a lovely evening. Just eat in the cat. Watching cruel attention. Just eat in the cat. Thank you so much for sharing that story. That was of you making out with Chandler on the poster. That is fucking amazing. Thank you for thank you for telling that. So I'm recording. I'm sitting here that picture. Like just a cropping of Chandler with the milkshake mustache. I've talked about me being small and having the weird boner about Miss Piggy dunking gonzo into oatmeal before. So I guess that's one. Lola bunny in space jam. Because it's always a weird moment where they sexualize a cartoon girl. Trying to think movie wise, but was something I was big. I was into when I was a little movie that I was into that had stirring. So I think I asked her in that side scene brings up two more SNL skits. One, the SNL about a music video where all the women saying about bringing home their boyfriends to their childhood bedroom. That is a good one. I love that. That is a really good one. And the other one, when I first got horny to you, it's like what are they watching the first time they got horny. So I'm trying to think like, I remember being aroused early on in my life. Like I started, I started damaging my penis with masturbation in the sixth grade. So I think what was popular back then got to me. Cruel intentions. I mean that worked for me, but that was still a little later on. I don't know. Do you have anything? Jessica Rabbit, for sure. I remember. Which is really weird now, as an adult, because I've watched Roger Rabbit since I was a kid. And now when I see Jessica Rabbit, it's like I was a weird little kid. Because this is not very sexy at all. But Jessica Rabbit. Rogue. I had a huge thing for Rogue. Yeah. Psylocke. Wow. Yeah. Psylocke for me, especially in the, I mean reading the comics as a kid, like that was like, that was a deciding factor. I would flip through and be like, okay, Psylocke's in this. I can jerk it. I would like to purchase this one, please. I mean, I guess those are the big ones. Any movie that I could see a titty in, which wasn't too difficult because we had HBO. And so I mean, that was a lot of my sexual awakening, as far as like movies go, where it was just like, which is whatever was on, on HBO after 11 o'clock kind of deal. I'll still never forget. Exit to Eden, applying like the butter and the cinnamon. Like that's, I guess that's a moment because it's just so burn into my brain. Yeah. So there we go. Yeah. All right. Good question. Yeah. I don't feel like I had a great answer to. This is one of these questions that something's going to come to me later. And it's going to be like, Oh, yeah. How did I forget about that? And I think I might have mentioned this on the Cool World episode. Like, I remember seeing the preview for Cool World, I think on like HBO or something and seeing. Holly. Holly. I remember seeing her and being like, Oh, wow. Oh, wow. So there's that. But I don't know. All right, Karen, thank you. And then being sad, but she turns into Kim Basinger. You know what? I liked Kim Basinger when I, and it's probably because she was Vicki Vail in Tim Burton's Batman. And I thought she was, I thought she was really pretty. I had a 10 year old boy crush on her. That's probably 10 when that came out. So, but that faded quickly. What else? I thought, what's her name? Tia Leoni. Oh, yeah. She was really hot and bad boys. So that was kind of, that was working for me. Tia Correira in Wayne's world was big for me. Really? Yeah. Oh, man. She, yeah, she's good looking in that movie, especially. She's good looking in that movie. So, yeah, there's some things. And along with the weird things, like Daphne and Scooby-Doo, like when I was very little, like along the lines in his big ears. Timmy God's automobile. Along those lines. Lashing God's hell. It's so a long day of life. All right. Thanks, Karen. And thank you so much for sharing the story about Chandler. I fucking love that you that you shared that with us. That is special to me. Here is- Oh, that drags up on me, Bernie. I had a black and white X-Men pillow, and I would kiss the rogue drawing on the back of it. Yeah. Mom caught me one time, and I remember her as she said the door was laughing. Cool. Man, I wish I had an X-Men pillow that I could have kissed. I sure did. We got a text message from 520 who says, "Fucking Tadpog, I just beat Earthbound." Fuck yes. "Smiley emoticon." Congratulations. Yeah. I hope that you enjoyed it. I assume that you did based on your "Smiley emoticon." We got another text message. This is from 763 who says, "Fucking Tadpog, colon. If pasta noodles had RPG classes, what would they be?" All right. Let's start from the top. Pinnae, Dragoon. Yep. Clearly. Clearly. No doubt. What are the little cartwheel looking ones? I don't know what you call those cartwheel ones. I mean, you know what I'm talking about. How are you talking about? Well, those kind of look like shields, so paladin. So there's your paladin. They're holy. Exactly. Macaroni is part of a very famous song, Yankee Doodle Dandy. It's a bard. Macaroni is bard. Spaghetti. Spaghetti is just kind of like your standard baseline. Your fighter. Human fighter. So we got spaghetti, Macaroni got pinnae. We got whatever the cartwheel ones are. The wheel ones. What else we got? The spiral ones are wizards. That makes sense. Wizards are sorcerers. Some kind of arcane user because they're so, they're so crazy. See, man. What about the shells? What do you call those? Shells. Are they just shells? I guess so. That would probably be, that would probably be a cleric. I think a cleric because they cold all that sauce. Yeah, exactly. And man, I guess manicotti is not really a class. They're lasagna. They're like vehicles. Airship. Manicotti is an airship. Oh, those are giant, those are giant noodles. They're rolled. They stuff. Yeah. Okay. All right. Yeah. That's like a base of operations. Airship. I like it. Italian's not my thing. So I'm trying to go over all the kinds of pasta in my head because I know they're so fucking many. Tortellini. What is tortellini? Tortellini, it's basically a stuffed circle. Okay. Or because it'll be like a ravioli. Like a small thing that's stuffed, folded, and pinched up a circle. That has a hold in the center. It looks almost like an earring. Okay. So probably, probably thief because it looks like an earring that Lockwood wear. Okay. That's fair. I like your logic. You're better than this. So, well, I do play, I do play pasta games all the time at home. And I take back my cleric being the shell. That needs to be some kind of like net and trident fighter. Because cleric has to be angel hair. It just has to be. Let's see. What other pastas are there ravioli? That's a big one. This is a hard one. What is ravioli? Barbarian because it's meaty? Yeah. Big and meaty. Big and meaty. Raging ravioli? Raging only? Ray Liota? Are we leaving on any other big pastas? No, probably. Yeah. Fettuccine. Fettuccine. That's like a flat. That's like a flat noodle, right? It's a long flat noodle. Is there a tapeworm class? The mimic? The mimic? I love it. All right. The mimic. All right. Apologies to all the big pastas out there that we're forgetting about. Good question, though. Yeah. Very good question. I like questions like this. They really get us thinking. Here is a call from 4/4, which means that it's an international call. Here we go. Zach? All right. This is Paul from the UK again. Paul? He told me to ring back. So here I am. It's taken me a while. Apparently what I was waiting for was just to get hammered again. So I've been on the side all day. And here I am that I'm doing, but I thought I'd give you a ring. Got me a bomb again. I thought I had to have a couple of questions ready for you this time. Sweet. The first one would be, um, I was just wondering if you'd ever get around to doing any more than 64 games after you did the lesson. I just wondered if you'd have the period of your day on in-game and I would say let's just eat every month or so if you'd think about reading a game again. My second question is regarding, um, one of your full life reviews that you did last year and you were talking about men's total habits. I just wondered, no, um, if after you had the, uh, shares, whether you'd sit on full distance, what if you knew that, yeah, the option was available, you know, because before a part of your guide didn't know, people actually do this, but people actually stand for work. I know. Yeah. I know. I mean, you, you, you, you, you, you're even aware of. So it's a bit of a strange question, but I think I kind of asked most people. I know it's, um, it wins them out, but all right. All right. Thanks. Bye. Paul, thanks for calling. You got a sexy voice. Paul sounds amazing. Yeah. You got a sexy voice, man. Um, I, so you may not know this, but there was a long-standing debate in Tadpog Nation about sitter stand. Um, we went back and forth, back and forth. Are you sitter? Are you a standard? Do you remember who initially brought it up? I don't, I want to say Fishlips J. Yeah. But I've been wrong the last like 10 times. I've speculated on anything. It was, yeah, I can't remember either. And that, that bums me out because it was like a really big thing for a while. Fishlips J sounds like it could be plausible or Cody or even, or even Micah or, or Drew for some reason. Anyone that we know. Or like, let's just keep listing everybody. Anybody that regularly calls us. That's not Taren. Taren, 580. Um, so yeah, we're familiar with the sitter stand. Uh, I'm still very much a sitter. Yeah. I can't imagine standing up because all of that cookie crumble would just fall out of my butt if I did that. I can't, how do you, I mean, like you can't stand straight up, right? Because then your turd cutter just automatically closes. What do you stand? Yeah. At least that's the natural position of my, uh, no, no hole when I stand up. It's like, it's like putting a lid back on a jar when there's something on the rim. Yeah. Do you, you know what? You know what really grosses me out? I, Tyler, I know you love shit talk on the show. Oh, so much. Hotty talk. So much. So this is going to be great for you. I apologize in advance. But what I hate is when I'm, when I'm done pooping and it's been like a really, it's been a really stressful one. It's like, I really had to work this one out and that you were doubly going to love this because I also know another thing that you hate. And when I like take that toilet paper and I go to wipe and it's like, oh, that's not closed. Yep. Or it's just like, it's just, no, that portal is still open. Has it closed back up? Yeah. So it's like, I don't, I never know what to do with that situation because it's like, I looked down at my watch and like, well, I got to get to work, but I don't know how long I need to sit here before, before the door closes. Finish the spell. I just need to like cram toilet paper right there. What do I do? So, thanks. Grab one of Nikki's pads and be like, there you go. Make the best of it. No, no, no. That's for the record. She doesn't use pads. She, I'm not dating my grandmother. Let's see. So thanks for bringing that back up because I had kind of forgotten about it. Except for, I heard on, I think it was cracked podcast when Jack O'Brien was introing an episode. He mentioned some of the things that we don't even think about that are secrets about people that you know, like are you a sitter or a standard. So I was like, well, cracked podcast is definitely listening to Tadpog and stealing, stealing intel from us. Just like, which of the coast? God. Yeah, exactly. To answer your first question, Paul, there are a few in 64 games that we talked about. There are a few we'd like to do, yeah. So Superman. Superman is one of them. I'd like to do Quest 64 for some weird reason. Well, it was like one of the clay fighters, 63 and a third. So yeah, there are a few in 64 games that we do want to do. As far as like a list goes, we'll get back to you on that. But that's always kind of a moving target. Lists are always kind of a moving thing. I've enjoyed not doing lists. Yeah, we'll pick up a list again sometime. But like, at last, the last list was just so hard for us now. It's just like, we'll go back, but we just don't know what we want to do. And then it is still sort of confining. I know some people really like it. Some people really, really like it. You know who you are. Yeah. And I don't know, since we started this podcast to list, we've since had kids and done a bunch of other stuff. So a lot of things have changed. A lot of things have changed. And you're right. Like doing a list with all these like life changing events that have happened would be very, very, very difficult. Like, I mean, to the point where, to the point where I feel like I would like to be less involved in the show kind of deal, you know, where it's just kind of like, I'd rather have a good time. I'd rather have a good time doing the show and we get what we get. Then forcing myself to stick to a schedule. When you push it, you burn out. Yeah, absolutely. I 100% think that that's correct. And if we weren't a show that published twice a week consistently, like that's important to us, because we never missed. We've never missed an episode. That's a huge fucking accomplishment for just two guys who don't do this for a living. Like that is like, we should be proud of that, because we've been doing this for over three years. That's, wow, how the hell did we do that? That plays into it too. If this were a show that we published just whenever we could, or whenever we felt like it, then I feel like a list would be so much easier, because we could kind of take our time and play each game on the list. I also think that the show would stop if we did that, because it would kind of be like, are you ready? Well, no, not really. Are we ready? Are you ready? No, let's wait. And then, yeah, we get to the point where we're publishing once every two months or something like that. Yeah, there's no way to have an audience. It's tough. It's really tough to balance it, because we know that we do have people who want us to play lists. And in a perfect world, I would that I think that's great. I think that's a great hook for a podcast. But man, just to keep it going at this point, I think we have to be flexible with it. Yeah. So great questions, Paul. Thanks for calling. You can call anytime with that sexy voice of yours. You just feel free. What do you think of a tadpug Nation list? How do you mean? Like if I might I might have to recruit Troubadour Sam for this kind of thing, but like listeners give us a list of games they'd like to see done. And we get enough of those and we average average it together, what games pop up the most often and make the tadpug Nation's list of games they want us to do. I'd be interested in seeing it. I don't think that solves the problem. It does not solve the problem at all. It's just an idea that pops in my head. I mean, I think it's a great idea because I'm curious to see what that is. But yeah, I mean, it does put us right back in that same way, because who know it could be a list. It'd be a game four games in a row that are each 60 hours each. Right. So we do have an eventually list. I mean, there is that. But yeah, I would be curious in seeing what people would like to hear us talk about. And if we could constrain that to like a specific system, like Super Nintendo or Genesis, that's a good point because those games are a lot easier to do. Like in 64 and beyond is just like it's did those games are too too long to intricate to do in a week. Yeah, Super Nintendo downward you could that's doable. So just again, for the record, I'm not super ready to do a list again. Oh, no, no, but this would take a very long time. But maybe by the time that list is put together, maybe I'll hopefully be ready. Things are getting easier for me. So like that is that is good. Like things are kind of balancing out for me. So who knows maybe maybe I'll be ready for that soon. But I do appreciate I do appreciate y'all being patient with me listeners. Here is a call from 6-1-4. Welcome to our talk. Okay, Kyle, thank last man. Yadda, yadda, yadda. So I'm listening to the episode of film Sandra. And you guys and and wisdom say Dean Taylor just called in about some kind of porn. And it reminded me of a porn story from one of them eighth grade. All right. Excellent. So when I was in middle school, they did an eighth grade trip. It's like, hey, you finished middle school. You may agree. You didn't care yourself. Cool. So we all got to go to Washington DC. And it was like a three day trip or something to Washington DC. So we get to Washington and of course all the whole school staying in this one hotel and all the kids it's after it's a it's a mess. You know, you just imagine a bunch of middle schoolers on like two whole floors of a hotel. It's terrible. But anyway, so obviously you're going to turn the TV on. You're going to go flipping through channels. Well, somebody found a channel where it was a woman who was just wearing a bikini bottom and some like lingerie to clearly see her boobs. And she was doing belly dancing. And that's fine. But she had a knife in one of her hands. And as she was dancing, she was slowly cutting herself like on her thighs, on her stomach, on her arms. And it was now that I think about it, some of them are fucked up, stuff I've ever seen. Like, well, why would anybody want to watch this? So she's sitting there doing like a dance naked, just cutting herself. Not really hard, but enough for blood to be rolling down her skin and her stomach and her leg. So everyone's going crazy. Their phones are ringing everywhere. Everyone's calling everyone saying flip to this channel, flip to this channel. And soon, every single middle schooler is watching this woman dance naked and watching cutting herself. And it was one of those moments that you'll never forget. Very quickly, the chaperones caught on and ran into everybody's room and turned it off. And it was this whole big map. And then the hotel had to end up blocking that channel. It was this whole big thing. But that's my gory porn story. Tyler, do you remember when ABC Family jumped the shark? I mean, as long as she wasn't cutting her boobs and everything's fine. That's pretty funny, though. I like this story a lot. Yes. Thank you, Kyle. That was a very good story. It reminds me of a trip that we took when I was in high school to Washington, D.C. We didn't all share in a pornographic experience, but there were a whole lot of little players going to the girls' rooms. So, I was playing Diablo on my dad's laptop. So, thank you very much for calling. We are closing in on Exalted Lord Michael Purdue's call. We still have a ways to go. That's so drawn. So, here is a text message from 520 who says, "Hey, Tadpog, who's your favorite cartoon milf?" I used to think Mighty Max's mom was pretty hot, so is Sailor Moon's mom. Well, everyone, there's not an unattractive person in Sailor Moon. No, no, there's not. Um, hmm, cartoon milf. Immediately, Louis, from a family guy, jumps to mind. Yeah. Do you click on those ads to? All the time. To see her fuck. See her fuck Peter and Chris at the same time. To watch her play Diablo. What are some ones I like from his little Bobbie's mom from Bobbie's world? I thought was attractive. I don't remember what she looks like. The red. She had like orange hair. Okay. Um, hmm. Trying to give other cartoon milfs or some family-centered cartoons that I watched. Linda Belcher's got some pretty big old titties. She does. So, I mean, there's that. I thought that before. I've been like, those are pretty big tits for a cartoon character that's not like sexualized at all. Yeah. And they hang as low as they should. She does not wear her bra ever, I think. Also, we have a thing from Marge. I never did. Now, you know, I never clicked on those ads either. I don't know. I have to think on that a little bit longer. All right. We'll get back to it. Okay. I'm gonna Google. Okay. Yeah. Just to get to get some ideas. Google, real quick, hot, milk, cartoon, cartoon, hot cartoon, milk. There you go. Also, look up Naughty Alley while you're at it. I could use a break. Cartoon milfs at Central Mothers. Okay. I mean, that's what I want. What is Central Mothers? Cartoon Milk. There's a big Emdrich Gallery. Oh, sweet. Okay. You need to spin that. You need to spin it all. This is all the enormously hept mothers from the Cartoon Network, like Dexter's mom. Oh, yeah, they did. They had some some child burgers. Oh, God. Impossible, Lois, Miss Jetson, the mom from the Jetsons. Yeah, never really a thing for me, though. Or, well, I guess. Judy, though. Yeah. Wilma from The Flintstones. Yeah. I'm okay. I can roll with that. You're more Wilma than Betty? Yeah. I'm more Betty. Which is weird, because I do like redheads. Here is, I guess, Peggy Hill and Khan's wife from King of the Hill. Hard Pass. Oh, what's her name from American Dad? Okay. The mom from The Fairly Odd Parents. The mom from Jimmy Neutron. That's a weird looking one right there. I don't know what she looks like. A parent from The Fairly Odd Parents. Oh, who is that? I can't remember. I recognize the, I mean, she has a dick in her mouth, but I feel like I recognize who that cartoon character is, and I can't think of it. Oh, God. The mom from the neighbor's mom from Goop Troop. She eats mom from Goop Troop. Yeah. More Peggy Hill. All of these pornographic that you're looking at. Oh, yeah. Everything in one of them. Luanne and their neighbor, that was always cheating when John Redcorn from King of the Hill. Okay. Here's some very graphic stuff from her and John Redcorn. Oh, Peggy Hill's butthole. Is it firing like the Death Star? Danny Phantom's mom. That wasn't a thing I watched. What is Danny Phantom? I remember seeing like ads for it. Man, Pete's mom from Goop Troop is pretty bumpy bluer. I don't even remember what she looks like. Okay, well, that's it for that whole album I just looked like. Okay, what is centralmothers.com? Okay, just a lot of cartoon moms. Marge, Lois. I hope that's her motto on their site. The mom from The Incredibles. Okay, I could see that. I can get behind that. Borking of the Hill. More Simpsons, American Family and The Cleveland Show. A lot of Jasmine. Oh, Aladdin. She's not a mom though. She's just a sensual lady. Here's Wolverine and Jean Gray. Oh, yeah, I guess we could get into that. So, I mean, Jean Gray does become mother eventually. She's technically a mom. 23 moms who are definitely males on Buzzfeed. All right, Buzzfeed. What do you have for us here? Don't fail us. Number one is Lois Griffin, mother of mom from Dexter's Laboratory. Ikuko Tuscino from Sailor Moon. Betty Rubble with my Flintstone. Marge Simpson. And possible from Kim Possible. She was on that erotic list a lot. That's the one I recognize. Charlotte Pickles from Rugrats and Jelika's mom. All right, fine. Yes. Jane Jetson. Helen Morgan-Dorfer from Daria. Oh, wow. Okay. Trudy Proud from the Proud Family. Don't recognize that. I have no idea. Miss Brief from Dragon Ball Z. All right. That's plausible even though I think she's a robot. Bunny Bravo, the very old mom of Johnny Bravo. Stella from Hey Arnold. She was in like one episode because she died. Donna Tubbs from the Cleveland show. Linda Belcher from Buffsburghers. Miss Turner from Fairly Oddparents. Sheila Brafeloski from South Park. Francine Smith from American Dad. Maddie Fenton from Danny Phantom. Mary McGinnis from Batman Beyond. Okay. Delia Ketchum from Pokemon. Mallory Archer from Archer. Delia Beets from Beetlejuice. There you go. Miss Squarepants from Spongebob Squarepants. All right. That's all that I'm from that list. That's pretty comprehensive. That was pretty. We did read a list. Yep. You weren't a list? You got one. All right. So good question that we didn't have a great answer to 5-2-0. Thank you. I feel like I was much more on fleek with the pasta questions and not so much the cartoon move questions. Let's see. Here's another text from 5-2-0 who says shitting dick nipples. That is all. Shitting dick nipples to you as well. My good sir. Another text from 5-2-0. Oh, but guess who's phone crashed. Guess who's old phone crashed. Mine. Give me a minute. Do we have hold music? I guess I could find some more cartoon mils. Famous cartoon teen girls and milfs in lesbian orgy. Oh, that's just a porn up clip. The 25 sexiest cartoon milfs. Oh, it's a YouTube video. I'll mute it and see if I can fast forward through it. Oh, yep. The Immortals. Lois Francine. Marge. No anime, no fur. Immortals. Did you just coin that? That's what it was called. Bulma's mom. See number 25, Linda Flynn. For what show is that? I have no idea. They're not saying. They're just showing pictures ever. That's a local real estate agent here in Paducah. So that's a weird for me to hear. Nancy Gribble, King of the Hill, Charlotte Pickles. Pretty big following for Charlotte Pickles. I forgot about her. Judy Neutron from Jimmy Neutron. All right, it's back up. If you want to stop subjecting yourself. Okay, good. Thank you. Thanks for doing that. Thanks for running interference. This is another text message from 520 who says, obligatory motherfucking tadpog. I forgot to have an achievement for Chandra's erotica. So I guess the sultry siren listened to all of Chandra's erotic call-ins. That is a tadpog achievement to unlock the sultry siren. You need to listen to all of her readings, which you should do anyway, not specifically just for the achievement because Chandra does a wonderful job with that. Here is a voicemail from 410. I think it's Tony. Hey guys, it's Tony. I'm listening to the Funny Top episode and I just heard the intro where Tyler talking smack about my little Tony and I think he's trying to reference Princess Twilight Sparkle. Oh, thanks Tony. That was a good song. Here is a voicemail from 520. The name of that manga that Chandra couldn't remember the name of. It's called "My Chance Daily Life". Penny Flash fight is from the manga Baku Mon and this is glasses and sperm, as originally known as that. Anet omeigante o nuke and the manga artist was raped. And fuck, I wish I didn't remember all that because I guess my new nickname is going to be per her Jessica Morgan, my page. Anyway, have a good one. Bye. You've been upgraded to Otaku. So thank you for clarifying. I am not going to lie to you. I didn't understand a lot of that. But Chandra and Paul probably did. There is a follow-up call from our beloved Otaku. Hey, Cat Park. I forgot to ask. If you had a waifu, who would it be? I guess back in the day, I really liked Double Honor Yoko and used to write really shitty false insertion fan fiction. So I'd go with Yoko from Double Honor Yoko. Anyway, see you later. Bye. Who would your waifu be? My first inclination is to say Tsunade from Naruto. I feel like that's a good fit for you. I really do. That's a character in Naruto when I first saw it. I got to tell Tyler about this character. Tough question. Tough question. So many. There's just so many. Fay Valentine is pretty good too. Fay Valentine, I was going to say, but I'm not sure. This is a tough one. This is a tough one. I have to sit on it. I have to sit on it for a little bit. Sailor Jupiter? Well, I said Sailor Jupiter. Yeah, there's an embarrassing period of my high school life where I was quite attracted to most of the Sailor's gout. Yeah, sorry, I'm drawing a blank. Typical anime denier. That's okay. Plus, I'm distracted. Come on, the birds? No, because we're here. We've reached the end. We've reached our goal. We've reached birthday boy, exalted Lord Mike of Purdue's voicemail. I'm not disregarding the waifu question. I have to digest that. I have to have to spit out an answer to it. I feel like I'm put on the spot. I can tell you what pasta I like to sleep with. And that would be tortellini. All right, here we go. Here's a call from birthday boy, exalted Lord Mike of Purdue. Good evening, gentlemen. Exalted Lord Mike of Purdue. And I have another would you rather? I know it's been sometimes since you've got the last would you rather and this would you rather is brought to you by a cell phone provided by nonpayment of child support. Just kidding. Probably pay this shit on time. Don't call the cops on me. Too late already. This week of this month, this year's very first would you rather would you rather sleep with can of the hottest women you know but never be able to come knowing that you pleasure the women instead or would you rather sleep with one and only one of the ugliest chicks you know but be able to come immediately. I'm not a big fan of coming in general. Blue balls. It's been sometimes since you know high school days but I just I couldn't bring an ugly chick. I want to go ahead and put it out there. I don't I bet you could. I mean there would be some people that could grit and bear it and power through. But he said one of the ugliest. I think I could do it. So I'm going to have to say say go with the hot chicks and and just know that they got there and that's that's good enough for me because that's what matters in this world. All right guys keep up good work. The next episode of all calls which should happen sometime around Halloween. Fuck you guys later. Our birthday boy is so self-sacrificing. You know if I made 10 hot girls come that's good enough for me. Ladies if you like Exalted Lord Michael produced phone number I do have it. He's all about serving your needs. I won't give it out on the air but if you'd like to message me privately with his consent I'll happily use his phone number so that you might make arrangements for you to get what you got. That's an easy this is an easy one for me. It is definitely it doesn't matter how many of the the hottest girls but it's it's that because I I hate coming immediately. Yeah so I'm going to say none of those. Yeah on the other side of it it sounds good because it's like first of all you're with somebody who you do not find attractive in fact it's the opposite of everything you find attractive in this woman and you're going to just stick it in and nope you're done. That sounds miserable. Both sound both sound bad. So at least with the at least I could be with somebody who I find extremely attractive just because I just because I don't get there doesn't mean I won't have fun. I think so can you never come again? No I just assumed you couldn't with them. Oh well maybe if that's the case then I guess that then if you can never come again then that changes us entirely. Yeah because I gotta I gotta do that. Yeah that does make it different so I don't know I don't know I need I need more if it's never come again ugly chick if it's just like just this next time attractive girls so it doesn't even have to be plural for me I mean that's just like it's fine. How about how about I'll meet you in the middle how about one girl I'm attracted to and she can come and I can come too that sounds perfect. Oh so like so like achievable things in life. Yeah all right I like that that sounds good that sounds good to me. I'm all for that but that was good yeah that was good that was a good would you rather it was I guess the first one of the year right it is which is weird because it is May. All right well then we hit Lord Bice calls that's it. That's it. We're done. Thanks for listening everybody you can find the show on iTunes, Stitcher or SoundCloud so it's gonna miss the next episode. I don't know what we're talking about. We'll find we have an idea of what we might do but I don't want to say anything in case it doesn't happen but my brother my brother did find an outrageously good deal on a Sega Saturn so we might do some things waiting on the Sega Saturn I don't know so we'll start to see. In the meantime if you would help us out give us some five star iTunes reviews we need those so if you'd go to iTunes subscribe give the show a five star rating writer review. There's people who've done that I want to thank so I would like to thank Adam Missy for giving us a five star review. You guys are fantastic. Couldn't make it through. We're gonna listen to you guys. P.S. just got a new cat decided named him Garmfield. I love that. I love that. And then now new so Lord Mike like this Adam guy so left by beloved Mike. Five stars because I find a new phone. No complaints there. Beloved birthday boy Mike of Purdue. Triple B. And then we got another we got a five star review drop down to a three star review. Makes me sad but I feel like we've addressed the issues in that so we don't have to delve too much into it. Let's see so if there's if you want a the game you want us to play a guess how short an episode a patreon request whatever include that in your five star rating we promise we'll get to that eventually. Don't worry guys like Tyler said we're going to be back we're going to be talking about something it may have to do with the Sega Saturn it may not chances are probably will. In the meantime you can always find us on tadpog.com that's where the show notes live. The show notes for this episode are probably not going to be great but I will do my best to remember to post the link to the naughty alley video yeah because everyone needs to experience this. This needs to be like a common thread that just ties all of tadpog nation together. This is our touchstone. This is a well Bailey J's are touchstone but yeah not you're right. This is our constant. Okay there you go there you go. So check us out there you can also find us on facebook we're facebook.com/ tadpog there's a lot of cool people there doing a lot of cool shit once again guys thank you very much for posting the photographs of Costco whiskey crown royal bags all that is amazing and I'm very very glad you listen and you participate. You can find us on twitter we are at tadpog underscore podcast it is cumbersome I realize thank you so very much to all of you who retweet us especially our episode announcements because as you know that helps spread the word and we would like to we would like to share naughty alleys video with more people. Well that needs to be it needs to be like a secret handshake for more people on the internet I feel like I mentioned earlier that we've got a patreon we just did an episode that is so gross that most of our listeners cannot finish it so if you're up to the challenge I told her about a long time ago it's it's a gross story. Well you didn't tell it on the show for a reason and that is the reason that was the right call to make because it is a gross gross story it's very gross. I had heard it before and I was grossed out by it when you re-told it for the beach on episode. So if you feel like you have the intestinal fortitude to withstand what is the jasmine story. What sandwich pope Phil deems is another trial by fire that should be on rapids. Honestly like speaking from outside of this even if I weren't your co-host on tadpog I would say that this qualifies as a trial of fire. It really it could just easily fit in with with all of that. So if you feel like listening to that pop over to patreon.com/ tadpog throw in a dollar and you get access to all the bonus episodes that we've done. We've actually got quite a backlog now of what I feel like some really really off the cuff gross funny episodes. So where we can just be untethered on patreon? Yeah it really is. It's more like how yeah we're not censored really and we're not really not censored on the patreon episodes. Believe it or not we're censoring ourselves right now for these episodes. So is there anything else? I guess you can call us if you want to be on one of these all-call shows. You can call or leave us a voicemail or send us a text message to 270-883-2555. Try to keep it under three minutes if possible otherwise you'll get cut off. Let's see can you put the patreon on that? Let's see if you want to send us anything. So if you have a package you want to gross food, good food, a game that you want to hit high priority anything like that please don't do tadpog studios care of Nicole Nance P.O. Box 3785 Paducah Kentucky 42002. We also have an Instagram so tadpog underscore podcast. Try to put stuff frequently up there. So please I mean I've got it requested as long as I can make sure you're not a bot or one crazy person then you're just in you're in. It's a semi-elite club so go ahead and join us over there. Our theme song is moves must take more drive look at that track and found the show at the tadpog.com. How do you want to close this out? My waifu would be Misato from Neon Genesis Evangelion because I'm who you need to call Terran whenever you have a Neon Genesis Evangelion emergency. Nice that is a patreon deep cut. So how would I like to close it out? I would like to close it out like like a waifu. Like a waifu. Yeah I think that's I think it's what we have to do. Okay so until next time. Yeah dude one time I got a stupidly ordered a large potato LA because I had no idea. It's a fucking bucket. It's like a KFC bucket because I remember what I got of I was like even at when I got the total I was like that's kind of expensive and then they handed me the the pale of potatoes. We got a little plastic yellow shovel in there for you so you can just shovel right at your big fat fucking. You dumb motherfucker. So dad what is it about potato allays like have you looked at calories from potato allays? Crazy. They're ridiculous. What are they fried in? I don't know other potato allays. I don't I don't understand how they could be that high. We're thinking about a thousand degrees. We melt down other potato allays. They're ridiculous. I guess makes sense because they're fucking delicious. That would make sense. There's something in there. Are they just prying them in butter? I mean could just be lard. That's the problem Mexican thing. Yeah it's probably lard. Which and that's also expensive so I wonder. Yeah I don't know. Hey they're pretty they're pretty good at the south side. Taco Johns. I went through on not this Tuesday but last Tuesday and he shorted me a taco and I was furious because on Tuesdays I split them. I pick up four tacos and an order of refried beans and I give my mom two of the tacos and we split the beans. So when they give us three tacos that throws everything out of fucking wack. So I was I was like and I had other things going on the day so I was more angry than I should have been but like I picked up the I picked up the receipt and tried calling the number which is a mobile phone number by the way because Chad you're in trouble because when I called it I got the do do do do tone and it's like this mobile number is currently not in service so it's like now I'm getting even more angry because I'm like I only got to like look up the number and call them and I looked up the number and I was like they picked up and I was like hey I just went through there and you guys shortened me a taco and like as the words are coming out of my mouth I realized how fucking ridiculous like my anger level was for what happened and the guy was like oh okay I'm sorry to hear that. What's your name? That's a weird question I'm thinking but it's Dave. All right Dave I've written your name down. You come back through here you I'm gonna give you three free tacos and I was like okay and I'm thinking to myself there's no like this is just a guy who picked up the phone and was like yeah what's okay cool we got you. He's his Dave here pick up those three free tacos. Yeah exactly. Excuse me. He was like you know three taco Dave. My name is on the list. Yeah check the VIP clip or make sure I'm near the top. So he asks he's like are you going to come back right now or are you going to come through later and I was like oh later I got to get back to work. So the following Tuesday I went through and I get to the to the fucking menu and I'm thinking to myself all right do I do this or do I not do this. There's potential there's potentially three free tacos on the table. But do I want to go through the embarrassment of like what if the person what if the person at the register does no idea what I'm talking about like what did they call the taco police. There's so much trying to run a three taco graft. I saw this at the other clock news. Today's tacos. So I decided to do it. I was like hey it's gonna sound weird but last week I went through and you guys shorter me some taco or a taco and I called and I guess it was a manager or something and he said that you guys are giving me three tacos for free and the guy at the so there's just silence on the from the speaker and then the guy's like uh uh okay and about that time a guy is walking from the dumpster for the taco job's dumpster. He's wearing a taco job's uniform. He crosses in front of the car. He gets to the back door of the taco johns. He stops. He turns around over his shoulder looks at me says I remember you and then he shuts the door goes in and then the guy the guy from the speakers like oh okay yeah we got you we got you Dave right. Wow. Hey. It's like yeah that's me. He's like all right now do you want those three free tacos in addition to the four that you just ordered or do you just want those three free and pay for one. I was like I would like to pay for one taco. I would like you seven tacos. Yeah. So yeah they were good. Kudos to south side taco john. Yeah. I'm surprised that guy remembered me. So everyone and everyone needs to call a south side taco johns and say this is Dave. You shouldn't be another those three free tacos only got two tacos out of those three free tacos. Please don't do that. They were so kind. You'll get six free tacos next time you come in. They were so kind. And we all say we're Dave. So I guess we're recording then. Yeah that was recorded. That'd be a good stinger.