Here it is. The newest All Calls episode. A lot of good stuff happens on this one. We (two people who don’t know much about Prince) open a package from Chairman Jordan Meow. We both drink Colt 45 for the first time but it’s for a good reason: we create a drink called “Trash Monkey” which we heard about on another podcast (My Brother My Brother and Me). We take a LIVE call from Burger Bottom Jon Turley. We talk about the girls we’ve kissed. The Harrison Ford Debate rages on! And of course…we answer some text messages and voicemails.
TADPOG: Tyler and Dave Play Old Games
Ep. 311 – All Calls Sponsored by Trash Monkey
Hi there, listener. You're about to experience Tadpog, Tyler and Dave played games, and there will be plenty of game talk. But also, copious amounts of crude, off-color, offensive, and immature speech. So if you are of a rather sensitive, humor constitution, or just letting you know what you're in for with this show, it has games. It has jokes. You know, just games and jokes. Take the games, take the jokes, and have a good time. Hello, Internet. Welcome to another Tadpog podcast. A show that happens twice a week. We're two old guys. At some point during the show, we will probably talk about old games. Some may ask a question. Probably. We'll say Earthbound corner trigger. There you go. Chances are old games have been included. We're loosely a gaming podcast. Yeah, we are. Yeah. If anyone started listening to this show in the last month, they're probably really confused by the title. Yeah. But I guess technically, little fear is pretty old. So, there we go. So that five-star review, edit, right? Like meet your game talk. Yeah. Amazing butthole conversation. You know, it is. I think about that review a lot, because I do honestly feel like that review changed the show. Like, I feel like that was the one where it was like, because you and I talked about that review. And it was like, yeah, you know, the game talk really is like pretty the thing that we don't like to do the most, or I'll speak for myself. So, thanks, review. Because I feel like a lot of other gaming podcasts, they're just more professional and dedicated to the game. They're super, super professional. And we just like, we like games. Yeah. It's a good like core to build on. Yeah. But like, we've never been professional about it. Yeah. Like not, not. We're not journalists. We're not reviewers. We're really reviewers with this. No. Play. Play games even played in the old, you know. Sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. You know what? I honestly, I just like, I like hanging out with you. I like hanging out with you. I do. Yeah. That's not like, that's not a goo. I know it's not. So, it's nice to do this show. I don't care what we talk about. Honestly, I don't care. Like, we could just, I mean, we could just take calls on this episode if you wanted to. I'd be found. Yeah. We should let's do that. I'd be funding calls like about every episode. Yeah. I would too. If we had the volume, that would be sweet. We got a lot right now. Yeah. And like, I guess games, like, I feel like a lot of the games, I bet 70% of the games that we've already played that we're passionate about. Yeah. We've done. Yes, I agree. So like now, because now it's just, yeah. And when you don't have as much, we're not like, that's not your, if that's all we did, it would be totally different. But like, just games, you mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If like, if for some reason, the Patreon started making, rigging enough money for us to just do this, they'd be totally different. So in the, in the distant future, in the far, far distant, like, when the economy collapses, but Patreon is still right. Right. When the dollar is worth a thousand dollars. When Patreon becomes bottle cap follow currency. Yeah. Absolutely. Yes. Then we'll do all games. Hey, I think the great news is, I hope we're not proven wrong when we start playing calls, but it seems like no one really cares that we don't, like, everyone's fine with the amount that we talk about games. Yeah. But when I watch like, the first eight calls we played at night are going to be like, man, I love it when you guys talking about games. A little about like, power mill, like that. I know. That's best when it talks about games, laser focus. Really? Really? Okay. We, we have actually crafted this whole podcast around two iTunes reviews. All right. Well, today, yeah, all calls. I'm gonna do all calls. Yeah. You're Tyler. Oh, yeah. I'm Tyler. I'm Dave. I'm your, I'm your bigger toast. I'm your respective host. And let's see, because whenever Paul and Shenzhen were here, I thought I had Jordan's package. Right. It was wrong. It was the cat mirror. Yep. So, but I found Jordan's package. Oh, I thought it was just packing material because the way he wrapped it, I realized after the fact he had wrapped it in a shape of a dick and balls. Yeah. That came through the US Postal Service. Yep. Really? No, to come to the Postal Service. When Meg went to see Wylie and Laura in Florida, she picked it up right back. Hand-delivered. Okay. Right. All right. Because I would be surprised if like the middle-aged woman at the USPS counter would affect you. But what he sent us, because I made sure I didn't tell you, I wish I didn't know, because I showed Ryan. You sent me a message and you said that you've... It may be one of the greatest gifts we've ever received. Really? I've been... Like, this has been a huge build-up, because you opened this a long time ago. And we... Yeah, we've just been doing stuff where we want to save our packages for like different shows. It's been in little fears and noisy people cars. You know, this shows where we don't have much content. All right. So... So, what I have in my hand is what we've been sent, because Jordan asked us a long time. Jordan... If it's in your hand? Yep. Jordan sent us... He asked us each what... In the Tadpog logo, what we were wearing underneath the Tadpog. Yeah, I remember that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, what he sent us is based off of that. I said I wasn't wearing pants. Uh-huh. What did you say? I think I said I was wearing sweatpants. Okay. But so, what he has crafted are Tyler and Dave... Oh, crap! ... amiibos. Oh, that's awesome. How did he make these? And these are so fucking good. Holy shit. It's mind-blowing. Like, they're literal on the bottom. They are amiibos. Have you scanned us in yet? Can we be in Mario Kart? Well... He just Jordan and Nintendo genius. Because I believe what he did, he took and he added on to existing amiibos. Because I believe your amiibo base is either Ness or Lucas. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I believe mine is Tom Nook from the Animal Crossing series. Because at first, I was like, I do not have that belly to ass ratio. This is like, oh, I think I'm Tom Nook. Because he has the round bald hair. Holy shit. So, here they are. Oh my god. This is amazing. Look at my dick. Look at your dick. Look at my dick. It's off. What happened? Oh, that's great. I love it. Damn, your dick's so much longer than my dog. That's what, listen to the podcast. That's what Jordan assumes. We both have large penises and mine is so large a woman would not let everyone experience it. It's also fluffy. It's also just kind of like it. It's just a heavy hose. Oh my god. This is hilarious. I love this. It's so good. So, I'm assuming this, I mean, these definitely need to go on the show notes. Yeah. Oh, definitely. Here we go. I'll let you, I'll give you yours back. I'll hold mine so it can be my avatar for the show. And it's in this letter with it. Okay, great. Fucking tadpog. George Morau here, sending you my package. I, in the part of it ripped off, gave it to Meg to give to you slow and gentle. So, I asked both of you a question on Facebook and now newlyweds style. I want you both to answer what the other thanks for avatars. Oh, do we? What thanks is under your avatars in the tadpog logo, which we did that. Yeah, yeah. We didn't newlyweds style it. Sorry. The winner gets the present inside these balls. No. Let's already open. Okay. Because I didn't know what they were. I didn't know that was the package. Or you've already opened them before reading this. Hopefully, you enjoyed my package as all the listeners and I have enjoyed the show. Keep those dicks up. God, this is amazing. Here's a joke and a picture of Trogdor. Question, what's the difference between jelly and jam? Answer. I can jelly my dick up your ass. And he has a very good picture of Trogdor the burnator underneath his signature. So, I'll put that in the show notes too. Yeah. So, go to the show notes and look at those seriously. Like, this is like, this is a plug for the show notes, but this is more like a you need to see what Jordan did. And I'm going to put. Holy shit. I'm going to put most of these on the Instagram. Yeah. But I know we have like a lot of younger followers on Instagram. Are they real? So, I haven't been posting no. I have been posting a lot of explicit content because I know there are younger people on the Instagram because that's the younger people's app. They don't do Facebook, they do Instagram. So, like how young? Like eight-year-olds? Eight-year-old, yeah. A lot of three kinens friends. I think high school age, high school. They could see a dick. I could see the, I mean, it's not a real one. We could sit right out. That's what I'll do. I'll get, no, I'll put a kitten on him or a sloth. Okay. We'll be good. So, that's what Jordan's in us. Damn good. That's amazing. Damn amazing. And then the other part of my intro that I have in the bag here, and it's not so much an intro as to what I'm going to be doing during the course of this show. Oh, you're drinking, right? So, I've been listening to early, my brother, my brother and me. I went back to like episode one and had been listening forward. It's a great podcast. It's a great podcast. And let me move my mouse pad and try to organize it here, because you'll hear me sitting down the thing all night long if I don't try to take care of the sound. But they talk about a drink very early on, very, very early on. Whenever Griffin is not married, he's living with Travis somewhere, and they're on a budget. And they talk about like, they talk about a drink that say, do not do this drink, do not do it, do not, under any circumstances, make and take this drink. It's what we do, and it gets us fucked up, rule bad on the cheap, and they call it a trash monkey. I don't remember this. This must have been a really long time. It's like episode like 17, 18, like it's early on. So, I went and tried to buy the ingredients for a trash monkey. One of the ingredients is illegal now, I think. So, I couldn't find it. It's an energy beer. It's a like for loco. So, I could not, I could not find an energy beer anywhere. So, I've got a facsimile. But one ingredient was a 40. So, I have here a 40. A Colt 45. A Colt 45. Yes. Great. And what you're supposed to do is just have the Colt 45 and drink it down to the label. How are you going to do that? I don't know. I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if you can do this. This might just go in the garbage can, or it might be like too much of a success, and you have to edit this episode. No. I think you've already, you've expressed on this show, and I know this, because I know you. You do not like beer. No. That's not really beer, though. That's like a, that's right. Someone who drank a lot and then took a piss. That's malt liquor to my understanding. Yeah. Okay. I don't, okay. All right. So, I can edit this. It's fine. I'll edit this. That's why I like, when you go and record as early as we can, because I don't want to die. No, you can die at any time of the day. I don't know if you knew that. Well, I want to, if it affects me, I want to be able to like, let the effects pass before I have to take sleep medication and I have to go to bed, because I had to get up early with Kina. Well, I mean, if this is a huge success, well, you said energy beer, so I'm assuming you're not going to go to sleep. There's the Red Bull. Red Bull. Sugar free. It could be somewhat counter-cut. And then a bushlight. So, after you drink it down to the, to the top of the label, you fill it back up with what would be an energy beer. So, so now I will fill it. Oh my God, this is going to back up with Tyler. Bushlight, and Red Bull. I probably can't. This is going to be, this is going to be all. I will probably take four drinks and then not want to look at it again. So, I probably can't do it, but it's here. I'll help you. I'll help you with half a half. I'll get you to half for the label. I've never had a Colt 45. Neither of them. I have the only person I've ever known to drink Mott Licker is our friend Jay Brent, and he would always go and buy like a 40 of Old English before like every party. I have had Old English. So Colt 45 is like Old English? I think it is. Old English. I could be wrong. Old English is awful. Yeah. It is awful. Jay Brent drinks in a budget, or he didn't college. So, he's a real trash monkey. Yeah. And then they're sure like, it's not racist, it's just what we call it. So, that's what I'll be doing. Okay. So, I mean, you're going to, you can do it now, or are you just going to sip on that Colt 45? Oh, yeah. That's good. Oh, I want to smell this. The stench that immediately comes out of it. Okay. Okay. Oh, it smells bad. Yeah. I mean, no, no, it doesn't smell great. You take a sip of this straight Colt 45. You don't want the first. You bought it. No, go ahead. Are you sure? You break this Colt 45 cherry. All right. It smells bad, but it doesn't smell like, it's like really skunky beer. Yeah. It smells like skunky beer. It's not horrible. Yeah. You're, you're going, I'm not going to like you are going. I know no secret says I'm going to enjoy this in any form. No, you were going, you are going to hate this. Maybe the combination of Colt 45 and Bush light will somehow be too negative to make a positive. Yeah. I'm going to take another. I mean, it's not that great. I'm going to take other something out. All right. I got you a third to the label. You're not going to like this, man. Oh, this grove. Your reaction is a lot calmer than I expected. I mean, I've had that taste before, like it tastes, it does reminiscent of like, it's just bad beer. It tastes like that, which to me always reminds me of like old ashtrays. Yeah. That's why I can't drink beer. Just like I taste that. And that's immediately what I think is. Because it smells like a 1980s bowling alley. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I get it. I do. Like, I don't think like, I don't have a big desire. Like I wanted to like coffee. So I was able to get over that hump and then enjoy coffee. Like, I don't really want to like beer. Plus, that mental barrier is going to be really hard to break. So I don't think I'll ever enjoy beer. Tyler, I know you have a big desire because I've seen your amiibo. You have a you have a lariat. Look at you go, man. You are down in it. Here, I'll help you. I'll help you. We're about halfway to the label. As we keep passing the malt liquor over the soundboard. Yeah, sir. It's a real good thing. This like comically sized bottle, this fucking thing is huge, man. This is like, I feel like I'm eight years old and I just like picked up my dad's beer. I had to dig back in the back to find it at the liquor store. You had to ask at the front. Excuse me. Well, I did. I had to ask for energy beer because I couldn't have my one anywhere. He was like, Oh, no, no, no, no. Those are, they don't sell those now. They're too dangerous. People have died. He didn't take you to like a secret room. He's like at Fort Loco, they've taken up the caffeine and up the day. You've got your monster. I do have a monster energy drink. I mean, I could join in on these reindeer caves too. I do have to get home at some point and my breaks are really bad. I don't know if you heard me pull in. Like, I think the pads are gone. So this could be the last headlong podcast could be. We said we would carry on without the other one, but we could both be gone. We'll be like Tupac. Like we'll just release like 10,000 episodes. Gross. So you're doing this because you're sad about Prince dying. So sad. He was so good in his guest appearance in New Girl. Oh, he was on New Girl? Yeah. Because I've never really heard everyone talk about Purple Rain. I don't know that I've listened to the entirety of Purple Rain or really any Prince song. Do you remember the Batman soundtrack? I know he did the Batman soundtrack. I had that. And I remember like, that was like one of the first like real adult cassette tapes that I had as a kid. And I remember my parents got it for me because I didn't know where to get. I didn't know where to get cassette tapes when I was like a 10 year old. I guess I was probably maybe even younger than 10 when that movie came out. But it had some pretty, I mean, it's Prince. So I mean, it had, I remember it. It had at least one bad word in it. Oh man, shout it out. But other than that, I wasn't a real big Prince fan. Even like, and it sucks because like, I feel awful because yeah, man, that's really, really shitty that he is no longer here. But like, I listened to a lot of podcasts. We're like, they talk about current events and stuff. And that's been like, everyone's talking about his death. And so they at least like almost all of them play at least one Prince song. And when I, if it's not like, if it's not one of the hits that I've heard a thousand times on the radio, it's kind of like, all right, this is a song. So I know that's a blast for me, but I've never been a huge fan. Yeah. Now that everybody, I mean, I know what he meant to music. So that's about it. Yeah. So that's all that matters really. So this is Tadpole tribute to Prince. So that will play a Prince song. We'll actually, we're going to do a live cover of a, I don't know, what's a Prince song? Purple Ryan. It's all I can say. I haven't even seen the movie. That's awful, right? I haven't either. Yeah. We're too awful people. I've seen some of his SNL performances, and that's about it. And then when he was on New Girl, and of course, the stories that they told about him on Chappelle show. So yeah, so that's probably where I know like that's my biggest exposure to Prince is from the Chappelle show. So you want to roll out into calls or do you have an intro or or both of us taking the Colt 45s of shit? I'll have some more of that. I hope you get down. We're not down to the label yet. We got to get, we're not even to the main event yet. You haven't even put in Red Bull or the Bush. Bush light in there. Oh, so if I told the story about getting pee in my mouth on the, on the before. Who's pee? Somebody who peed in my mouth. Yeah, you have. I have. Okay. Because the aftertaste of Colt 45 is like that. Oh, oh, really? Yeah. But you know, cold, but still the, the, you never forget that taste. Well, and it's, it's not that different. I didn't ask you in that way to try to get you to share the identity of the person you've been in. I asked because I was like, is there a story about you peeing in your own mouth that I haven't heard? But oh, man, because I've been trying to take long drags of it. We're almost there. Long pulls. I guess a drag of the cigarette and a pulls a drink. I do have an intro, Tyler. So I spent a lot of time yesterday and by a lot of time, I mean like five minutes trying to perfectly craft the most confusing Facebook message I possibly can. And I sent it to you. And I feel like I did a pretty good job because I got zero. Oh, yeah. It was, I mean, bro, I was like, already, I already had my sleep meds and looked at it. I was like, I don't know what he means. I'll, I'll check. I'll, I'll check it out again in the morning. It brought me so much joy. I don't know why because it was like, I felt like I was pulling a prank or something that was like harmless, like it wasn't going to hurt anybody. But I was like, so I was like, man, what is, what is the most confusing text message that I can send Tyler without like making him think that I'm ill or hurt or in need of help? And when I decided on what I decided on was two questions in one line. What calorie for dogs? And I saw it. I saw it. I was what? I scroll back up a little bit to see if I miss something. It was just out of nowhere. And I went back down and was like, okay, if that's for me, he'll say something or if it's not, it's not for me, he'll say something. But otherwise, I don't know. It's probably because I'm sleepy. I'll deal with that in the morning. I laughed like that. Like I just did. I laughed like that for like five minutes at the rest of it. And then Nikki came in the bedroom just like, what are you laughing about? And I just had a bit of the and she's like, I don't get it. I was like, I just said it to him. So yeah, there's my intro. And I love it. Like he didn't say his thing. No, I did that was part of the game because I was like, what's it going to do? That's like part of the thing. What's how to react to this? And I was like, there is and I know you and I love that I've predicted. I was like, there's a good chance. He's not just saying anything because it's just going to be like, I don't know what the fuck he's talking about. Maybe in the morning when I'm asleep, I'll be like, Oh, yeah, feeding dogs, those calories. Well, it's like, what's great, what I loved about it was this is like, this went into my process of like crafting this question. I was like, okay, now it needs to be something vague, but it also needs to be something that. Okay, Tyler knows that I like dogs. So, let me put something about dog. We talk about not on the show a whole lot, but we talk about like watching our way and being like, being good. That's our old person version of weather. I know. It really is. Like, we'll talk. Oh my God. How much? How many calories are that gold 45? We just slugged. There is no fucking talent. They don't even have anything on the side. No. In the calorie box, it just says don't. If you're drinking, this calories are not your biggest concern. Because I already have it doesn't even list the alcohol, the percentage of the alcohol in it. If you were to guess tastes like pee for the gold 45, what calorie for dogs? That's a Yahoo answers question. That was part of it too. That was part of it too. It was very much like they had like, I felt like I fucking nailed it. Like that was like, when I sent that message, I was like, it's never going to get. I'm never going to write anything as good as this ever. I know alcohol has seven calories per gram, but what calorie for dogs? I don't know what my dog to get fat, but he loves beer. The other thing was, I was like, maybe Tyler will think I'm asking him how many calories are in a dog. Well, we're to eat a dog. Exactly. It's not on my fitness, but how do we log that out? No, I need to add it to my meal so that randomly when someone goes like type hot dogs or something, an autocorrect. So good. Holy shit. Someone entered a dog in here. I had to go running. Is there like a dog that's like more carbs? Like how my dog is best for carboloading for a long run? We're still not doing a label on that Coke 45. I'm going to do it right now. You're going to do it right now? No, right now. So tell me a story, Dave. I'm just going to describe you drinking this. Man, you are killing it. You're fucking like, you're at the label, man. You're past the label. You got to be. You're there. That's it. You're there. Oh, I'm really close to me. Oh, hey. There you go. You've got to be there. Yeah, that's label. Oh, you're past the label. You look ill. It's not good. You look ill. I know you're sweating because you're hot, but it doesn't help. It looks like you're going to die. But your sweat's like yellow. You got the cold sweats, man. You look like you're a melting wax figurine now. All right. So you're going to pour the bush in first. I guess I'll go energy drink. You're going to put the whole red bull in there? I guess I'm going to alternate on and off. Okay. All right. So you're going to put a little red bull and then a little bushlight? I can't wait to try this. You need a funnel or something. Oh, sorry for the burping. I can't really cover my mouth or do anything different right now. You're very carefully pouring this red bull in. It goes all over my phone, my D&D book, the sound board. Is there any reason that you have this? This is great radio. The fifth edition player's amp book out. It's the only book that isn't packed up. So I wanted to use the muffle sound. As should be. I like that. I like that D&D book is the only book that's not packed. All right. This looks good. That's pretty solid. How much did you put in there? Almost all of it. Okay. So I bet while the beer is, there's a lot more of the beer than there. Here it comes. Here comes the Bush beer. Oh, all over the book. Yeah. Well, it's laminated. Is there anything in here? There's some shirts that I'm sure. If they were my shirts, I would grab them. Oh, let me. I got a spool of thread. You want to try to clean it up? I'll clean it up in a second. The one where Tyler makes Ryan's extra room. Smell like a Bush beer. Oh, good. Good idea. Good call pornin over the bag. Lots of foam. This is like a science fair volcano. It is erupting. It's erupting with foam. Did they mention this on the podcast? They did not. So I guess I'll just lift that go. It's going to let it sit. I don't think that's going down, man. There we go. Because I know that's the weird thing. You can put your finger in like a foamy drink and the oils in your finger and make the foam go down. Yeah. Here, like if you pull your, if you've like put your finger at the crease of your nose, I'll get the oil. Yeah. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Nose oil. You know who you drink after my nose oil goes into it? Yeah. You mind my nose oil. I don't mind your nose oil. Oh, that's how close we are here. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's fine. I've known you a long time. True. So essentially the other day, the eight year anniversary of like our used in my Facebook friendship friend request, I know, because we were friends for a long time before the Facebook. Yeah, I was I was a slow adopter. I still kind of regret my decision to joining Facebook. I was against it for a while. Yeah. And then like, may I get to do it for a class so that when I was bored, I felt like competency 11 was down. So that's why I made a Facebook account. Gotcha. That makes sense. I get it. We still need to do a Final Fantasy 11 episode. Yeah, we do. All right, pour, pour, pour, get that bush, get that bush beer in there. Get it. And it's erupting with foam again. So if it wasn't for the foam, I mean, both both would fit in there very easily. Because you're supposed to fill it back up. So I guess it's both of them. Well, you want to take a call? Maybe I'll take a call while I can cock this. All right. Let me see. All right. What do you think? Dave amiibo with your very man. You know what Jordan really did me a favor. I got so thick. I'm gonna show Nikki this. She's gonna roll her off. [laughter] It's better than laughing. All right, let's see. First is a text message. This is from 412 who says, "F in Dave Pogg, colon, I challenge Dave to Mortal Kombat during a show, or I can drive to Kentucky. It's not far from Pittsburgh. I can see you're gonna beat me to Mortal Kombat. I guarantee it. If you're willing to drive, if you're willing to get in Yin's car and drive from Pittsburgh, oh yeah, it's a Paducah, you're gonna win. Mortal Kombat, like one for the SNES is that what we're talking about. Hey, say a Mortal Kombat or a fight to the death. I don't know. Mortal Kombat is a proper noun, so I don't want to do either. I don't want to fight this man or woman to death. I don't want to accept the challenge for playing Mortal Kombat, because I'll lose. They must know you're a better challenge than I am at Mortal Kombat. I must have said something at some point on the show. I feel like maybe I boasted and I shouldn't have. I don't know. You beat all the Mortal Kombat as we had to play them through the show. Yeah, I've beaten them all, but that doesn't mean that I'm good at them. Yeah, but it's a totally different thing, where it's like, yes, I've finished Mortal Kombat 2 on the arcade, but I'm not good at it. I just played it for like two hours. So thank you, 412, challenge declined. I concede that you are a better Mortal Kombat player than I. You sit in your throne of skulls in Pittsburgh. Here is, Tyler, I see you've poured some more bush beer in there. You got a little volcano going. Here is another text message. This is from 520, who says, "Hey, Tadpog, since Dave likes colons, here you go. You know I like colons." And then it's just photograph after photograph. It's like a goat's asshole. Actually, it is a three colons in a row. And then another text message that says, I like this question already. What's your favorite german? For me, it's the jerky that's... Okay, it's the jerky, the sticks you get out with the tongs. Okay, followed by roller dogs. P.S. motherfucking Tadpog. All right. I fucked up reading that text message like I promise I will. What's your favorite german? There's no period, but I'm going to apply a period. For me, it's the jerky, and I assume comma, the sticks you get out in the sticks you get out with the tongs. I know what they're talking about. Followed by roller dogs. I'm familiar with the roller dogs. What are the sticks that you get out with tongs? You still have the little plastic bins that you can go and get pieces of beef jerky. They're not in a lot of places, but I know what he's talking about. Because I'm familiar with the prepackaged beef jerky slim gems and stuff like that. But I don't think I've ever seen that. For anyone who hasn't been listening to the show for a long time, german is gas station food. That's slang for gas station food. I stay away from the roller dogs. I'm a pretty much... Man, if I'm on a road trip, Tyler, you know. You know what I want to get. I want to get some pork rinds. I want to get some pork rinds. All day, every day. I would eat pork rinds every day. It's pretty good. It has diet-wise, like, better than any chips you can eat. Are they really? Yeah. I know, like, you and Miller both were on a diet for a while where you... So was your encourage? Jacob was on a diet. As well as part of Keto is to cut out carbs. Yeah. And pork rinds are... Because the thing is, when you don't eat carb, you don't get a lot of crunch in your diet. So, and you miss that crunch so much. Pork rinds, like, that's like a saving grace. When you want something like crunchy and like what would be carb-y but you can't have it, pork rinds satisfy a lot of... A lot of cravings. Because it's just animal skin. Yeah, it's fat. It's just fat. Have you... I'm sure you have. Have you ever had, like, homemade cracklins? I have not. A guy from work. Like, you remember the guy I was talking about a long time ago who's like, "He's a man." You know, like, he's like in his... Yes, Miss Swan, go on. He's like, he's just like... He's just a man. You know, like, it's like everything... He's looking like a man. He looks like a man. You know, everything about him is like, "Oh, that dude's a... That dude's a fucking man." He's a fucking man. Yeah. Like, I mean, if... Toby Keith tips his cowboy hat that guy so much of a man. Like, when he pulls in the work, like, he could tell me I built that car. And I'd be like, "Yeah, I bet he fucking did. Look at him. Look at him." He's like, doesn't care what he looks like. He's like, covered in hair. He's like, he's like a big tall wolverine. He's all... He's the stereotype of a man. He is. And he made some pork cracklins. I am brought them into work. And everyone was afraid of them because they looked like... I mean, they just looked like things you would find under the oven. Flade skin that's been fried. Yeah. And so I saw him on the break room table and I was like, "Fucking pork cracklins? Yeah, let's do this shit." I was like, "They're in a Ziploc bag. That's kind of sketchy, but whatever." And I opened him up and I smelled him and I was like, "These smell really good." Like, they smelled so good where it's like, "I need to ask somebody before I eat these." Because like, these are some bodies. Like, somebody set these here with love and care. I'm like, "I'm going to eat you at 12 o'clock." So I asked one of the guys in the back, I said, "Can I have these?" And I'm like, "Yeah, man." Kenny made them. And I took a really long time deliberating what I wanted to use his name or not. Help yourself. And they were really, really good. Like, these were... I'm sure he killed the pig himself. I'm sure he raised the pig from a piglet, taught it to read and understand human comprehension and then just choked it to death quietly. Lept was single-tier and then broke it open with his bare hands into a frying pan. Because he also wanted to become a litch. So he had two birds, one step up for islands and litch them. These things were amazing. And it was so much better than like, "I'm spoiled now. I can't go back. I can't go back to Baconettes. Is that the brand or is that the take? Is that like the little pre-packaged Bacon bits? Bacon bit. Yeah, Baconette. I think that's another one besides Bacon bits. It's not the brand name. Whatever. Do you care about brand name when it comes to pork rinds? There is one brand I always go after because it's the only hot and spicy brand in the store whenever I go. Baconettes, I think that's the brand name. That's what the one I'm trying to do with. Baconettes, yeah. Because I always get the hot and spicy ones too. What is your favorite garment? Let's see. Zebra cakes? Jim donuts. Zebra cakes. If I have to get Jim donuts, I will go after a bag of little Debbie donuts preferably from the sweet thing or pay days. Dude, a pay day is great. And that's not a horrible candy bar. Like as far as candy bars. Everything else, yeah, that's not. But let's see. Zebra cakes, pay days. I like roller dogs. I do like if the ones pre-pack with cheese or jalapenos. I've done those on occasion. I like condiments, so I don't go after a ham and cheese sandwich, but I'll get a pre-packaged chicken salad sandwich. I do like a gas station sandwich. That's no joke. And usually I'm too lazy to put condiments on it, so it's usually just like bread and meat and cheese. That's why like chicken sandwiches, everything rolled into it. I'll just get that. That is a good choice. So I don't like I don't get gas station tuna. I'm particular about tuna unless I make it or my mom makes it. I don't really eat tuna fish. I love tuna fish, but only from those two camps. Gas station, Po Boy. I mentioned that on the show. That is a favorite of mine, but only like only at a very specific gas station in Slido, Louisiana. That is the only place that I would trust a Po Boy sandwich from a gas station. The only place I'll usually get Doritos at will be we'll be at a gas station when I have some kind of sandwich. Man, nothing's more freeing than being on a road trip because I feel like I can eat whatever I need to. It's up the window when you're on a road trip because it's too difficult to like try and wait and find the right exit to like, yeah, traveling. I love it. It's a perfect excuse. Even if it's a like a five hour trip, it's like better stop at the quick mart and fucking stock up. Okay, the trash monkey looks like it's complete. I think that's as good as we get touch on that. Wait, let that phone go all the way down. You're just pro you're just prolonging the magic. That's a great question. Thank you, 520 for the german question. God, I love some german. Here is an action all of Wiley for naming it so perfectly. No, is I'm gonna check and see if that's an urban dictionary. We have a call. This is from 757. It looks to be like it's a little bit long. Do you think you got do you think you can wait like two minutes 36 seconds before you take a drink of that trash monkey? Yep. All right, here we go. What's up, fat dog? You're beloved Adam. Love it, Adam, calling it a hundred percent battery on that job in the work and just finished up the Phil Hawkins interview podcast, which was mighty enjoyable. That was a fun one to listen to and that one of the things that stuck out to me the most was when you guys were talking about kissing and Tyler. I died laughing like died laughing and even rewounded the list of it again when Tyler was talking about just putting tongue on my mouth and I'll play around with it like I died. I died laughing because I remember the first time I ever went in for the French kit. I had no idea what to do. You know at school everybody's talking and they're like guys go clockwise girls go counterclockwise go this way it's this if you go that way it means that and I was just like never heard that. I don't know what I'm doing here. So a question I have for you guys is when was your first French test and tell us a little bit about it. Mine was in sixth grade at the sixth grade dance with a girl named Mandy State and we were dancing and I had just finished eating orange airheads which in my opinion is probably the worst airhead to eat before making out. Orange generally goes to white history if you really want to romance a lady. But look at her we were probably six feet apart had a lever involved period even though I wasn't a Christian in sixth grade and I caught my head as far to the right as I could hoping my mouth wide and just went willy-nilly with that tongue. It was one of the best experiences of my life. It was the last dance of the night and after that dance finished the lights kind of dimmed up. I turned around feeling like a boss sixth grade boner in my jeans and across the freaking gym I see my dad standing right at the door with this big stupid smile. Oh yeah. I felt terrible cold rush of sweat all over my body. No. As we're walking to the car I'm walking like six feet in front of my dad as fast as I can. My dad just says so son how was the dance. And I said fine dad let's go home I want to play Nintendo and the whole ride home my dad just kept giving me the stupid look. Uh-huh. So. Want to hear your stories of the first time you guys gave the ladies the French kiss and you said something about an all-call show so I'll be looking forward to that and I hope you get my package soon and I'll call you guys in a day or two. Love you. And we love you. We love you too Adam. I think I've talked about my first my first kiss before. I mean it was it was back in like it's around the shadow on episode when I'm talking about my horrible first fingering experience because my dad all followed the same night when I was in sixth grade. Well so your first the night of your first French kiss was also the same night as the first night touching boobs first night finger blasting. You had like that's a watershed moment that you had right there. Watershed not great moment because it didn't didn't happen again until I was a sophomore in high school. Yeah. Yeah. Well so was that also your first just kiss kiss? Well I kissed other girls but not anything else until I was a sophomore. Okay. Well I mean but like that night the night that everything happened the night where you got to experience all of all of life's pleasures. Was that was that your first kiss as well or was it your first your first French kiss? My first French kiss. Okay. Okay. No my first like kiss kiss was pretty Gatsby and Brainy Gatsby's tree house. Look at you you got you kissed the pretty one. Yeah it's in her title. I went in there that because uh jerk jerk it Jeff wanted to kiss wanted to kiss pretty Gatsby and I wanted to kiss Brainy Gatsby so instead of doing the ones that we wanted we did the ones that each other wanted and nothing really worked out. Well I mean that straight up like kid logic I get it but yeah I think it was just good time Gatsby who was the instructor of the truth or dare that it ended up playing out like that. Yeah. So um but my first French kiss was the heavy set girl who had a very bad deviated septum could only breathe out of her mouth had two extraordinarily bucked teeth that basically pointed at you. So that first kiss was not a good one. Not not good. Not good. As soon as I pull back I just immediately am hitting the hitting the face with the hot breath going yeah like a cat that's like happy to lie down there. Yep. So and then apparently like and I was very ashamed. I didn't want anybody to know about it. So and apparently then I like I bit her lip on my withdrawal apparently. I don't remember doing that. So it wasn't on purpose. So she told everyone no it wasn't on purpose. She told everybody like yeah Tyler and I kissed and he bit my lip. So the next Sunday at church everybody was walking up to me and biting the lip had no idea what they were talking about until I heard that was the reason. I was like she wishes just denied it for a decade. Just defuse that situation. Yeah it was like didn't happen. No. I've so I've mentioned this girl before on the on the show. She was my first French kiss which this was I was I've got a weird thing. I always did like have like a weird thing in like middle school where it was like I was interested in girls. I'm gonna take a draw. Okay you're gonna go for the trash monkey. Yeah it looks dirty. The phone now looks dirty. Yeah it looks like they're sediment. Yeah yeah this is gonna be gross. Don't mean interrupt you. No no no no no no. So this phone is settled. I'm gonna go ahead. I want to be interrupted so that I can enjoy this expression on your face. It's better than. It's better than the Colt 45. Let me try it. Yeah. Because the because Red Bull sugar-free Red Bull I've compared to the taste of like sweet tarts have been lifted out in the sun too long. So that flavor additive I think is an improvement to the Colt 45. It's weird. It's almost like it almost neutralizes it. It's all this is almost flavor. Yeah. You invented vodka. Or the McElroy. The poor man. No you invented it. You invented it Tyler. Take credit. They did an energy bull not Red Bull sugar-free and bush loss. Hey it's new patent pending. They're successful. They got a liquor store when I handed him one single bush light. Just kind of looked at like he clearly never rung up just one bush light before. So in high school I always I was interested in girls but I was terrified. And I remember like going to middle school dances and stuff and having the awkward like slow dance where it's like I wasn't exactly sure like what the proper distance was. And like because I mean part of me wanted to be like all right up in there. Just like pressed up against girl. Like as much as me that could be possible. But the other part of me wanted to wanted to not get in trouble. Pretty much 80% of my life has been dedicated to not getting in trouble. So because of this weird relationship between those two things that I wanted no French kissing happened in middle school. Freshman year though. The the girl whom I mentioned on the show a while back offering me a B.J. and I did not understand what she meant. And so I declined and then she promptly broke up with me like a couple days later. I understand. I do not blame her for that at all. I get it. I felt like I was polite and I declined though but I'm pretty sure that was that was probably in that I know. So that's where I pee out of. It's not going in there. No no no. She didn't explain what it was. If she would have explained what it was I'd have been like oh yeah I want that thing. So I signed me up. But I was like sitting in the room being like what is a B.J. too risky. No pass. It could be anything. I want a brand in Johnson to just show up at the door. So that was the girl who I first French kissed and that was actually I told the story when it happened. That's when my mom dropped us off after a date at her house and she kissed me in front of the car. Well she put on a show for for for Dave's mommy. That was that was that was a good thing. That's a chapter title in your autobiography. Yes it surely is. That was that was that relationship was a learning experience like I learned a lot of things in that in that one relationship. In French kissing do you like a lot of tongue a little bit of tongue? How's your where do you land on that? Lots. Yeah I want a lot. I have not really met a girl who enjoys a lot. Yeah I enjoy a lot. Yeah to put it weirdly and crudely. I like a mouthful. I like to know it's there and they're putting forth the effort and just ram it in there gracefully. When you put it that way I think maybe I don't like a lot of tongue. I like to know that it's there but I also certainly like to be the one who's like introducing the tongue. I don't mind a little pushback like that's fun. But I think what's most important is how you finish it. Like that's more important than the amount of tongue. I feel like you want to like Shayo Khan absorbing a soul from a body you just want to you just want to suck in just a little bit just like you're sucking the foam off a trash monkey and coming call on my cell phone from one Jonathan Turley. Oh yeah let's pick it up let's put this on the let's put this on the show. Can you put him on speaker? I'll try. Hello? Hey man. Hey hello Jonathan. Hey John. And how are you Tyler? You're you're on Ted Pogg. That's why I'm talking like that. So forget so forget about saying the thing you were about to. Hey so at that point exactly what I'm calling you I was listening to Streets of Rage 2. Uh-huh. Or most of us another thing about the book that you read few 182 or 184 like that. Oh the book. The Stephen King short story about the the hotel room. I'm not the Japanese. I know that they're. Oh one cute one Q eight four one Q eight four. Yeah okay because you said you mentioned that it was a really big deal for someone to own a gun or you know in Japan a big deal about somebody asking a one character asking another for a gun and you know being the gun nerd I had time in um when I was dating this girl in uh who was going to my state her roommate from Good friend of mine the total redneck girl and I'm sorry her best friend was a total redneck girl and her roommate was an exchange student from Japan so when this girl had her birthday party they had a big bonfire we uh ran extension cables from their uh like power camper that they had and we set up a bunch of gaming stations uh we had like a super Nintendo a Sega like all kinds of stuff and um there's a game talk we did before we got to the gaming and the drinking was we shot um everybody brought some guns and she of course had a bunch of guns her dad had a bunch of guns so we did some shooting before we started drinking because you know we're responsible and the uh the girl from Japan you know she uh you know we were like do you want a shoot and she was like I think so you know it's a few and so I gave her like my mom's 22 pistol and of course like instructed her you know intendously on how to handle it and be careful with everything and I just remember she shot twice with it and she went over and she took the target down and she put it in her purse and uh and I was like oh you keeping a little memento there and she was like my father will never believe you that I shot a gun and like my father has never shot a gun and I was like wow that's what it said I don't know we have like man a lot different like wow the civilized were I thought that was really uh that really kind of blew my mind who was like wow I've been shooting I was like eight she's a she's a hard and criminal now in Japan right she she she's addicted she's a kuzan now hey hey john john I got a question for you um oh okay uh when you're french kissing do you prefer a lot of tongue or a little tongue when i'm french kissing yeah it's kissing with tongues if you still do that um um i'm i'm going for that middle of the road yeah like i want to notice but not enough time to be like i'm choking okay how do you finish kissing how do i finish yeah do you have like a finishing like you have like a finishing move if you want i'm not trying to lead you a certain direction but uh i don't i don't really have a finishing move i mean i guess you know the the withdrawal of the tongue and then just you know finish with the lips okay yeah all right like he's back back out you know standard issue yeah yeah yeah nothing too fancy i get it i do i understand no no i i i keep it keep it plain yeah that yeah you can't go wrong it's original flavor kissing that well yeah it's safe too you don't want to be like yeah that guy with the too much tongue yeah but after you know somebody for a while you can kind of get weird yeah that's when he gets good so that every relationship gets good this this did not uh go the way i thought you know i'm glad you called because we didn't know when you'd be on the show again so this counts it's fine this this count it's got a count it's got a count i'll tag you in the show notes being on well i i do want to be on the show i i i still desperately want to do uh the burrito fighter oh yeah yes fuck yes um do you want to be on an actual play episode that would be really cool if you could like get away and and play some d&d or something oh i got a text message that's what that was oh okay it sounds like there's a cruise ship john you just want a cruise buddy second second caller or tat fog with the cruise all right i just waterboard you in right here all right guys i will uh i'll let you get back back to the show what are you recording in all calls episode yep oh well hey i know this is this is great it's perfect i can't remember what i just had a number of this that i'm on but uh i i think i'm getting close picked up caught up i think i've only got like 20 yeah would you say we produce a lot of content john yeah all right buddy well thanks for calling oh hey no problem you guys uh take it easy all right all right so yeah see you man that's good that was good i like that yeah you want to take a pre-recorded pre-recorded call yes all right let's see here's a call from and i'd do the reverse fade away basically oh for i step i step down like to go from lots of tongue back off on the tongue just to like the the making out about the tongue to like a steady lip hold and then i'll do like soft upper upper lip kisses bottom lip kisses one long like two second hold and then i'm done man yeah you've developed this yeah that's good i'm surprised i'm surprised that you've developed it i kind of just assumed you were do you know how many people you have kissed overall not many not like an embarrassingly small amount of people um well you're a relationship guy you've always been like yeah yeah yeah your relationships yeah i have i mean it's probably ten people like are we like are we including family yeah okay yeah okay with a ten without family up to three now i mean it's somewhere in the ballpark of like ten people yeah i don't like i do not get close to people quickly like it is like and it takes i need to feel comfortable with a person before i put my parts on them like that's like like even like i don't i don't want to touch a person unless i feel like i know them like i mean just like just like touching like just like shoulder to shoulder kind of deal like if i'm in an elevator and there's a lot of people in the elevator like i really like dragon con i really just try to kind of position myself so that i like i'm a jinga piece or like i'm a tetris piece that's like not going to touch people we can make you a furry just for like the elevator rides that would but so hot though is the problem it's so hot we'll get one of the the air conditions okay how about you i mean you get a i mean you're you're a kisser right uh not i mean you're not an unusual amount like i know i know a lot of people who have a lot higher yeah uh so what what i mean years your number's got a lot of i can't meticulous sexual numbers i know i know mine is 32 that's a that's a lot of kisses so you're you're a kisser i mean i think it's a moderate amount like i'm i'm really low so so that's real it tends like low that's like that's i'm essentially a medieval monk family included family family included yeah did people because i remember uh it's not there anymore but i remember i used to keep a categorized piece of paper that had like code on it where i would have like kisses outside of shirt inside of shirt fingering blowjob uh going down and sex and i would write down the names and it was like it was just like a a perfect like uh like you right now in the new bar graph were the names of the girls that i'd done those activities with and it was just so you weren't keeping you weren't keeping tabs on your your friends at this point those sick of my memory really well that just came later those experiences sticking my memory better than my own yeah i wrote mine day yeah now uh embarrassing low number low number of kiss kisses for me i'm not a kissing and that's probably why i um like when i talked about my kissing technique i'm sure all the advanced kissers out there were giggling that i mean you have because a lot of people what you kiss who you have a lot of times that is true that is true i mean that's not really what counts that doesn't help my numbers it's the quality thing instead of a quantity thing it's fine thanks here is a call from 402 looks very short i see the word drunk in google translate let's see what happens hey yeah tat pog and uh i'm a little drunk if i uh tag tonight i have you everything to you okay goodbye who are you i've watched a lot of court tv this will hold up yeah we get all we get all of his stuff uh if he dies who was that let's see i kind of sounded like i guess we'll find out when we're sick come style called another reading of a will it kind of sounded like ryan but i'm not sure that he called back here's another number from 402 my brother ryan no uh ryan waltzer okay uh because like i'm getting ryan shit anyway if he dies so yeah ryan's been he don't tell me ryan's been sucking on that trash monkey he's about to die uh he he called back it's 402 called back the next day so i guess we don't get his stuff let's see hey tat pog what's up it's uh master coin ryan waltzer good call i'm doing the tat pog trope and calling you on my way to work yeah so monday morning um so unless you guys know i called you obviously over the weekend you probably just played that call yep maybe you admitted that call no no completely out of context and so i sound like a crazy person like john r buckle when they removed garfield from the cartoon yeah he sounded a little tipsy no i'm okay good um damn it united it's a fun uh for family game night if i would you rank a leader of uh costo bran crown royal so costo crown royal making some very important calls to your radio show and a few other folks and posting some interesting stuff on my facebook so anyways i want to let you know i'm okay you cannot have my stuff um i still love you damn have a good day and i hope you're well thank you master coin i'm having a great day so costo bran crown royal so he's like uh a middle it's the middle class monkey is the the costo crown royal that does not sound good i never had crown royal though so i don't know josh edwards woken loves that shit every time like i've been around him when he's been drinking like coke and crown royal uh my favorite thing about crown royal um are the dice bags they include with their alcohol yep yep because it's the classic dice bag thank you for calling uh master of coin i wish you'd leave us your stuff i'm glad you're safe though if you want to change your mind you can ask your will how cool would that be to be in someone's will no when you dial we're gonna challenge your wife based on the call we know a guy who's going to beat her in mortal combat for all of your all right thanks for calling here is another call uh this is from four one three fucking fat dog what's up shawn here no i just came for the realization of what that was me waiting to see if you knew what i came to but uh anyways all these people are trying to get on your show and like bumping up their their money their pay share and all that stuff i'm about to blow some minds here no adam has been practically co-hosting every all-called episode but he's got he's got this down like that's brilliant by the way that's not an act fucking love that it's golf but uh yeah i thought that was a pretty good realization and uh no i'm so if you can hear that i'm chewing uh this sunflower thing is i don't know if they're listening it could already tell because they're showing you stuff here and crunching the stuff but uh yeah well yeah anyways all right guys you go to the rest of the show bye thank you shawn thank you shawn i thought you're official shay as well i'm glad to hear you say that because that's the third double game because that's that's who i thought it was um some other seats also good german j i'm convinced now that j is venom then cody is his carnage and then now shawn is uh toxin he just keeps spitting off symby hos what's the uh what's the uh d d and d character i almost had fictional d and d can't tell there's fiction all like a real person like palor could you please tell me the the name of the fictional d and d character who made all the clones of himself um start with an m yeah i do cannot remember it yeah oh well i could had you not ask me i would have been like hey here's a random thing i think it's almost like vaguely racist is that right manshun that's it manshun i love that you got it on that because i pulled up google and typed in m and it came to me uh manshun okay manshun yes so i mean cody's either venom or manshun yep or both they're all manshun it's fine jayshun we're all man we're all manshun all right here is a call from four ten man you are killing that trash money fella i am currently listening to the pinball shravaganza with pinball archmage chris and it's a good episode uh Tyler just mentioned i know this is at least the second time i've heard him say that left king of bowlers have a disadvantage mmm hmm my boy and that is part of bullshit it's completely obvious so bowlers have an advantage but king of boys have an average when they're boys because they have a thing in the lane um so dude you got stopped lying to yourself you just suck at bullying i've read it somewhere tell me no tony's a scientist Tyler so you have to contend with that i trust his chemistry he's not a left-handed officer i think we should have a bowl off i think we you and like you and i are captains of bowling teams that we get to choose from tadpog nation who who all is left-handed in the tadpog nation that's a good question uh you get all the lefties i get all the right correspondent laura is left-handed that's the only other one i know how is she a bowling not bad actually not bad i have not bold with her in many years but not bad if if correspondent laura better than i had to bowl off against manshoon who do you think would win i have a manshoon nose telekinesis so manshoon wins what if he agrees that he won't use his telekinesis in the bowling match then it's close then it's close i don't know if manshoon is left to right-handed i mean we could probably google that one of his clowns someone knows somebody who's kissed less people than me knows i kissed nine people and i know that he is ambidextrous i mean you can't check that if he has the feet or not so all right thanks for calling tony uh looks like there's a follow-up from tony it's also from four ten so maybe probably him unless he gave his phone number or gave his phone to somebody else uh hopefully he's going to be calling me out on some bullshit so even it out hey fellas it's tony again um i just wanted to apologize that was i forgot you sent us chips tony it's totally fine we love you too also um when i said that you should um say something to correct me so that tyler and i are even i did not mean that please don't do that i can't handle it uh here it is a voicemail from 757 google translate starts out dammit tampa we'll see the buccaneers are awful yeah here's here uh tampa hater 757 you're on the line i hope the buccaneers are from tampa that sounds right or they think they are do they move or something maybe probably i don't know all these football clubs moving and damn it tazpaw um adam adam i sent you my freaking phone charger that's why my phone dies when i'm in the car on my way home from work and i can't freaking call you and make a dang three minute call because i don't have any batteries like how the heck did i do that i'm so glad that you got my huge package i'm really excited that you guys ate the candy cigarette save i hope it didn't put you back on the wagon no i'm up to two packs a day i'm not going to refer to that on find help but it sounds so good to listen to you guys eat those things and i was so happy that you enjoyed the package and it made my day what didn't make my day was one of the first times in tag box history that i feel like it was tyler and day plus out on question uh oh we did next murder marie tyler's aunt and he didn't pick any he just said i'll nephew them all and i'm like blew my mind like i really thought okay he's really going to tell us but like didn't even want to venture into that land of creepy so i'm going to venture there first so that you can venture there next i would sex my aunt Sheila that's my mom's younger sister only because she has big can i'm going to ask sex with one of my blood family members well she might as well have big boots because that's my mom's aunt she's a little older really sweet but she gives the best arm tickles i don't even know man it would probably just be uh man that's thought that's even harder i found it easier to find the knock that i had sex with the one that i wouldn't please put that on your business card it's easier people could be like oh he's not as that of a guy for marrying his aunt because they won't even know that i had sex with one of them and then she essentially murdered her so if i think of an aunt that i would murder i'll let you know but it would be easier for me to have sex with a family member than murder somebody that put that on the quilt board i'll mail you a uh port board i think that's fair i guess uh glad you guys have the package i want that to start the dark wing duck episode so let's hear uh can't wait till you can't i can't speak i love you scott we still love you Adam that was good that was good i plot all of that who none of my aunts have big tits so that's probably why i couldn't do it i'm not even i can't i'm not even gonna comment on that so i'm gonna put us out more than dialer i'm not even man who given the well let's see if i get involved in this trash monkey and see if i can do a thing yeah you'll find answers at the bottom of that bottom just trash monkey it up what was it my the local liquor store has on its sign uh technically alcohol is a solution so there you go Tony thank you for calling Adam yeah and in regards to use your smoking uh which i am very proud that you've liked once you quit you quit like there wasn't like waffling about it no but to be fair i'd quit once prior and went back so i mean there is that well you've made it since then since i knew you've quit then you've maintained it yeah because i was talking to randy gasby the day who is trying to smoke she doesn't smoke a lot but she didn't stop smoking entirely she's trying to smoke or trying to quit trying to quit okay yeah she doesn't smoke a lot yeah but trying to quit and i was like yeah you just have to know some of your triggers because i know dave has to stay away from some of the trigger elements like and then i brought up you playing when we played um the wolf among us yeah that that was kind of hard because it really made smoke smoking look appealing when big bee was doing it uh it was tough okay i haven't talked about this um maybe i've mentioned on the show i can't remember probably not because it's like it's still a weird like sensitive subject for me um but since my dog died behind a corgi who i named after the dog in cowboy v-bop um i stayed away from cowboy v-bop uh because it was like i don't know if i can like i'm a big i'm a big fucking softie and i'm not sure that i can watch that show um and then i decided to watch it um a couple months ago with my sister because she had never seen it and she likes anime so it's like oh you you got to watch cowboy v-bop and then i remember like we got to the second episode it was like because it's straight-og strut and when i saw the title screen i was like oh no i forgot i got it like and i got it i can't just stop it because she's like really she's enjoying it and it's a great anime and it's like i don't want to be like and well you just get to watch the rest of it on your own um and so like watching that was it was tough um so now like so now i can't watch cowboy v-bop for two reasons it's because of the the character in it nine and smoking looks so good in that anime it's amazing it's like uh and like they're all doing like really healthy things while they smoke like spikes like uh training like yeah and it's like man it looks great he's like oh she's got zero gravity cigarettes and like block it out of the sky yeah so i can't watch that you get my rush of purity yeah you know the fucking it gets like the triggers get easier though yeah that's good so sunflower seeds it comes back to sunflower seeds eight a bunch of sunflower placing replacing the the habit the need to have something with your hands i did get fat i mean like i put on like i put on like 20 pounds i would never have called you fat that's pretty i mean uh that's the heaviest i was yeah was was then um heavier but i would never have classified you as fat that's pretty that's pretty pretty big um yeah that was i ate a lot i did like yeah that was just food just became a replacement every time i wanted to smoke you'd be like grabbing some sunflower seeds or hard candy hard candy turns out to be pretty high in calories because say i'm so glad you did because like i talked with Jacob about this because i'm like i cared about dave and he smoked so much i wish she i wish he didn't but at the same time he's the one person i i can't approach about it because i feel like you pushed me the other direction smoky i feel like smoky made smoky made sense on you like i feel like you needed it yeah we saw it's like something i could never like tell you like yeah hey man you should quit like it was just like no it was like yeah i feel like it was intrinsic to you and i couldn't i couldn't influence that and i honestly this isn't like um a remark to you about you but if you would have told me that i wouldn't have listened like i know i wouldn't have listened it's like it was one of those things where it's like i had to come to that on my own yeah i had because it was it was it was most definitely a part of me like it really was and like since i quit i'm glad that i quit because like i can like run and stuff now and that's like i wouldn't been able to do that oh yeah when i was smoking the way i was smoking i mean because john turley has talked about that like being at basic training and not smoking coming back spoke like two cigarettes then tried to work out and noticed a huge difference yeah i can't yeah because i tried running a few times when i smoked like a pack in a half a day and it was it was miserable like it was just like the things that i coughed up shouldn't be coughed up yeah i deal so um so that's good but it does suck because i still do feel like that's a that's a part of me that's just it's just gone yeah so it's weird it's great out it's the bonus character you've given up the dlc for an example yeah that's exactly it and it's a weird i mean it's weird to describe but it does feel like this is probably it's going to sound over dramatic uh and because it probably is but i can't really put it in any other better way than it feels like when i quit smoking part of me died like just a part of like part of me is just like well this isn't a part of me anymore um and i i haven't really i mean you can't i can feel like you can replace that i don't think it's being over dramatic i mean like i think that's the way with any addiction yeah so and it was absolutely like i mean clearly obvious cigarettes so clearly obviously it was an addiction um there's no way around that like i'm not just a chemical addiction but you know like a habit as well on top of it so yeah i mean uh in my wishful tone i say that i'm glad that i quit i'm i'm also pretty glad that you could but it is hard sometimes still when someone's like when someone lights a cigarette around me and like i hear that paper crackle i get it like it's like it is one of those things where it's like i could go back to that anytime like any like at the drop of a hat i could go back yeah like it would just be like no no thought about it just there we go but i think the real test was the first time i got um drunk to the point where i couldn't make good decisions and i didn't smoke i feel like that's everybody's true yeah that's like a big hurdle because everybody will tell me that it doesn't it doesn't count when you're drunk it doesn't count when you're drunk as long as you weren't addicted to smoking yeah because like if you were addicted to like if you were addicted to smoking and you smoke when you're drunk it's fucking up you're you're done yeah you've you're back on yeah you're back on it's over dramatic it's like i feel it's over i don't think i don't think it is i mean everybody it's always hard that kind of thing is always hard to your own personal experiences are your own personal experiences so i know like relaying that to somebody else is always difficult because like no one no one gets your experiences like you so yeah maybe i mean i don't think it's over dramatic but i also know like it's it's the thing about about you so that makes it important and i haven't been through a lot you shouldn't live well so i mean that's like part you know i mean on like in the grand scheme of things it's like i've had a pretty good life i mean yeah if that's like the hardest thing that i've done that's not so bad i mean the the manly man at work i'm sure is probably like quit smoking like i mean that was not harder than cracking the pig open with his bare hands to make cracklins well i mean i think you have to look at every personal experience i've been how it affects every every person on a personal level is i'm getting into that word thing and get a little fears but that's like what drove me nuts about on facebook when prince died to bring up prince again yeah i see everybody posting about prince and making things about prince and then i've got those handful of people who will post things about like while we're mourning celebrities when these little people we should be mourning and it's like soldiers and cops who have died and that always gets to me because it's just like stop with that shit like yeah that's terrible but like people are just talking about something that it's affected them in the moment you can't constantly bury things with things that you see as universally worse yeah you know everybody's just talking about their own personal experiences so you're mourning prince because you enjoyed his music it's not like you should oh well i can't talk about prince because like soldiers died in iraq yeah i mean yeah that's awful but like don't diminish your own right personal feelings i get it so yeah that's just facebook dog that's yeah that's like my only statement on that like it is it is tough for me to go through my feed like i i uh i scroll like three i scroll three and it's like i go back up i'm like i'm not i swear i'm not coming back until someone's president yeah i get why the younger generation is not on facebook and they do all alternate things i get it we're hipsters we are because we're not content with facebook we're like we're outside of our age range yeah i feel like uh but do you think that's a common complaint or do you think that is more like uh people who this is gonna sound you may not agree with me i kind of considers like fringe people and by that i mean that we're kind of weird and i don't mean that in a bad way like i mean i'm i'm definitely we're fringing our area definitely yeah certainly yeah certainly in this area of the country we're fringe um and maybe that's where a lot of it stems from because a lot of people a lot of my friends on facebook are people within you know even 300 miles um and a lot of the politics don't really change in that range uh or and i say politics but i mean also like um philosophies and and and thoughts on things yeah in general attitude so i definitely feel like it's tough to like log into facebook and be like oh i don't agree with any of these things like even like even like the people supporting what i believe i don't like what they're saying because it's like uh i don't think all right okay whatever i don't i don't think they understand it or we we understand it in different ways because my people be like hardcore burning supporter yeah followed by hardcore trump supporter sure followed by clearly racist person right followed by Hillary supporter feminism followed by Jacob so that's just like the whole spectrum it's just like okay like i'll i'll read it i'm not going to weigh in on any of these things ever facebook to me is like i'll check these statuses for amusement otherwise i just use chat and events other than that like that's it i'm with you because like i have to have if i want to text with Jacob i have to use facebook messenger so i have facebook just so i can talk to Jacob you know i'm never gonna get rid of it for that you know at least that reason oh it's great i mean i think facebook messenger is great mm-hmm it's just i hate that it's tied to facebook yeah yeah um and you can't like and you can't turn it off you can't ever appear to be offline and send messages like people always know when you're even if you hit like inactive turn everything off people can still see that you're online on facebook yeah i um was turned on to something by uh paul kluell ruby baron paul kluell told me about messenger.com which is essentially facebook messenger without facebook yep yep it's amazing so like when i'm at um maybe work maybe not um i can just go to messenger.com instead of facebook.com and i don't have to worry about all the facebook stuff it's just it's just the chat stuff that's pretty good i like that i'm gonna verify that url because it seems like that would be taken by like i don't know a meld delivery service yeah or aol or something yeah oh this trash monkey's getting hard getting hard to keep going you're almost to the label i don't i don't feel intoxicated like at all so you don't seem intoxicated at all it is messenger.com that was kind of a tangent sorry about that i don't know particularly funny that was our feeling tangent we need to get back to the yachts yeah we need to feel sometimes we're not comedy at all the time that's i sort of am though whenever i hear people who don't like like i i love nicole i love nicole nance yeah she will profess like i don't like comedy i don't understand that at all that's all i ever want to consume media wise i want funny podcast i want funny tv shows like it's hard for me to get into like i can get into something dramas and stuff like that but pretty much like i just want comedy i do 24/7 in every format i'm the same way i like a little bit of comedy and everything like even when i'm in the mood to watch like an action movie or something like that i want an element of comedy that like travels throughout the movie yeah um so she just means she doesn't like comedy as like the genre yeah i mean i get that i mean i get that because it just i had such a foreign concept to me i i'll do documentaries and that's about as non-comedic as i will get other than that like yeah i like some documents like i'm hard press to even go like i'll go see a movie in theaters but i want it to be either a comedy or or a book i've enjoyed like i don't like want to just want to go see an action movie generally or anything like that i want comedy or something i've read put on the big screen it's tough for me with comedies because i generally feel like you don't lose a lot waiting to see a comedy like on Netflix or something like that yeah but i get it i i enjoy the genre so i'm down tyler yes Dave here's a call from taren oh all right do i have in my phone book now as 270 taren good morning tat poth it is uh cohost of full position and banjo's best friend taren doing well today uh i had a slight bone to pick with you this morning pick it i'm a couple left behind i apologize i was working out of town and often last weekend got behind i didn't have my normal commute but i'm a bone to pick with you and it's specifically with tyler bring it i have taught you so much about national and i know that you have done your own exploring and national as well but if you ever again utter the phrase that princess hot chicken is the best hot chicken in national i have heard that taren i've heard that because that is the most incorrect statement about national Tennessee that i have ever heard in no particular well taren the man is dead now is not the time to talk about his chicken the man is dead or you know honor is death so taren has fucked every man in national Tennessee is that a more incorrect statement about national taren or is princess hot chicken the best chicken call us back sorry i had to pause i was outraged in order okay top three that's gonna see here we go patty bees bolton and and pepper fire princesses not even rank in the top three they may be the founder of hot chicken but i don't know if you've ever been there or not number one you will get shot or sat when you go pick up your chicken it is a given uh it's like the strip clubs i like chicken is terrible not just i know they're he's good but their chicken is terrible i think that's what makes patty be so good it's because their chicken is so juicy and delicious and maybe this is it's fantastic fantastic yes in the national hot style and pepper fire is just delicious all the way around but princess is not even ranked so tyler watch your dirty mouth out because that is terrible to say and also i have not had the uh national hot chicken from kfc because i do i just don't eat a lot of fast food but i i have been tempted to go there and throw it in their face because i can guarantee you it is not a national style hot chicken but god bless them for trying i guess um hopefully though you will make a trip to national and go try those other places before you even step good princess uh i don't mean to be so enraged this early in the morning but hopefully you guys are doing great and i will talk to you soon and have an awesome week bye bye thanks taren tyler you've been taking a lot of hits today and i feel bad for you i've i've never been to princess so i don't think if i said princess is the best is because that was what i read on very very many reviews on the internet the man died let's give him a week and say that his chicken is the best what does that cost us anything nothing cost us nothing let's just say that his chicken is the best for a week and then we can go back to taren's top three which was haddby's bulshins what bulkins i don't i couldn't understand the second one and pepper fryer pepper fryer i'm down and try all of those yeah so my haddby's was fantastic so i recently had to go to uh new orleans and um so we flew out of nashville and i wanted to get haddby's um i think the flight left on like a saturday morning or something like that so like around 11 o'clock on saturday i was like i'm gonna go buy haddby's and get some chicken the fucking line to haddby's was unbelievable i mean it was like wrapped around the corner of the block like the full like the line went the full length of the block and then a couple people like the tail was just we only got it in as quick as we did for my birthday because of people that lived in nashville got up early and got in line yeah it was i believe it's a big restaurant i believe it because it was i i mean it was crazy uh when i was like oh we're not there's no way we're eating here yeah like the our flight will have landed in new orleans by the time we get served yeah so it is great the kfc stuff i think it's fine it's for this area we're not gonna find that that's the best corporate thing we're gonna find i did try the captain d's hot fish either day i didn't know there was a thing yeah i was surprised when i saw when i was driving by the mall i was like oh i'm gonna go have that i forgot captain d's a thing yeah the hot fish isn't good no like now uh long john silvers all around beats captain d's in my opinion so i i probably won't be back until i see something new on the menu that entices me yeah other than that like if i want that kind that style of seafood i'll go to launch on silvers the hot style well the just the crunchy battered fuck up your insides and throw off your diet style so oh is it like really this is so like it's not good for you man really oh man really oh man launched i was assuming it's fish right hereable it will be but it's that inch of batter on every piece oh it's that bad uh oh it's real bad it's real bad huh like comparative to like i mean because you get the fish like that the battered fries like that the hush puppies and the crunches like it's all like they have an inside item called the crunches that's what the thing that it comes on like the little bitty and you can order the crunches on the side too just a little bits of like batter that lands in the fryer that's all you can order yep that's amazing i mean it is a diarrhea disaster every time i have kfc not kfc launch on silvers well i mean kfc is also yeah they at least have slaw so it's a vegetable kfc is not bad actually like if you get the baked chicken but the problem with it is like i guess not many people order the baked chicken so it's kind of one of those situations where you like when you all right we can have a season i'm gonna help you uh the baked chicken yeah exactly i guess we'll bake some fucking chicken pull around well it's like no it is like that because it's like i compare it to like have you ever gone through like the mcdonald's drive through to get ice cream at like a anytime after 11 o'clock and they're like oh no ice cream machine's broken i like that a lot yeah no can't mess sorry it's broken um that's like essentially what they do kfc when you ask for like a baked chicken they're like it's we're all the baking of broken yeah they're like oh we're out and fried itself didn't do it it's broken we gave it a choice you could be baked or fried it just fried i'm sorry so yeah and and the other hand is when i get a baked chicken sometimes it is like inedible it is so dry like it is just like yeah there is no moisture in this chicken whatsoever that's why i love dark meat so much more than white meat don't care about white meat yeah i gotta get the i gotta get the baked chicken breast though yeah i can't i sometimes i get the thigh but pretty much if i'm i will go now fast food if i want to try whatever new thing is on other than that like if i have to eat fast food i go to subware and get an egg white on flat bread that's what i always do we've been doing nicking and trying to do better yeah yeah because we were we were eating out a lot and um i've been doing okay because it's like i can just you know eat the things that are kind of low calorie at restaurants or fast food restaurants the problem with it is uh a lot of the low calorie stuff at fast food restaurants is also the expensive stuff it turns out seafood tramp and salads yeah where it's like windies is like i feel like when i go to they have good salads i think windies has great salads for like for a fast food place it's amazing but i can feel that like okay whenever i order a salad because i got to make it and it's like the night crew i love it they will get lazy and it's like they'll just take a garden salad and it'll be like oh this guy i ordered the apple pecan salad uh take the garden salad and put some apples and pecans in there chicken we'll call it i don't know and i know it's like it's cost the company so little so little yeah sure not as much as fries i mean fries like the bottom that's the bottom tier of course no matter what you eat fries are always the most inexpensive thing you're going to find on a menu period interesting so yeah yeah that explains why they're everywhere yep and i'd be in people love them and you'll see the other thing yeah it'll cost the company a cent per for a bag of fries and charge you a dollar ninety nine it's pretty it's pretty good profit margin i'm no businessman but that sounds pretty good and Anthony Bourdain also talks about that in his books like when you're still in a lot of palm freak you're making a lot of money yeah so that's french for french fries palm freak palm freak rather like when you have a steak and fries so steak palm freak fancy fancy way of saying just take a french fries here just my lajun yes we large movie i am the french fry last bit bibliotheque for dog you know the french track gallery for dogs um do we have time for more let's do more fuck it okay i don't know what time i started let's just keep going oh boy all right what's audacity say an hour thirty eight oh we're good all right here's another call this is from two seven zero maybe no we played that one this is from seven five seven what's up pat pog it's your beloved Adam i'm about 28 minutes into the dark wing duck episode and uh not trying to stir the pot in any measure just gonna bring a third voice into the conversation about Harrison Ford oh hi again with hello and i love Indiana Jones and i i like Harrison Ford i've seen him on a couple late night shows at jimmy kimmel he's very dry and very funny and sometimes he seems like a dick but i kind of dig it but i 100% understand where tile is coming from and i 100% understand where john turley's telling fell i just wanted to throw this out there and this call contains Star Wars episode seven spoilers so if anybody hasn't seen it go freaking see it all right it's been a month or two or something so go see it Tyler i think you already know that spoilers so yep so we're good to play this yeah we're good everybody yeah spoilers for the next at least two minutes yeah we got a minute and 35 seconds left in this call so if you haven't seen episode seven yet and you want to maintain the the spoilers until you watch it skip ahead please like two minutes like Tyler said i'll just throw this out there Harrison Ford loves the character that he plays even though he doesn't seem like it uh in in Star Wars he didn't want to come back to do return to the Jedi because he thought that Han Solo's character basically did everything he could do and there was no need to have him in movie and actually wanted them to kill him off in the movie not because he hates the character or because he thinks it's stupid but mainly because he thinks that tracking that character out wouldn't be good for the movie or that character itself that's why most of his time on screen was frozen in carbonite so what i think happened is when they kind of get him to come back for this episode they basically told him what they wanted to do and he was on board because this is what he thought should happen with the character before and what i will say is he acted his dick off in this movie this is one of the best Harrison Ford acting in any of the Star Wars movies by far and it's really cool because you actually actually get to see him acting and talking as a smuggler which we don't really see that in the other episode so i definitely think that Tyler could enjoy his acting in this movie more than any of the other movies even if you don't really like the guy could use the douche bed i get it so i like both of your thoughts both of your opinions and just wanted to throw that out there because i'm a Star Wars nerd so i always like to talk about the Star Wars so after i finished this episode i'll probably call you guys back tomorrow and fill up the call log for all call show love you guys and i really love you days but not me Tyler you're taking a beating man i do not know what's going on i do not know what's going on but i mean i have to side with me because i'm one of the hosts and john's a guest host so that is a little a little more on my side that is true i mean but adam is our cohost these are all calls cohosts true as claimed by shawn right yeah i'm complaining of that um aka mention aka man shawn man shawn man shawn i don't know why i was like i would i was i was called a main coon what what ripper and sky oh yeah yeah um so you and like my hair some more or no yeah there wasn't really even there wasn't really much of those episodes i haven't spoiler in there either so it was good i still think i'm right so and he's making another any of jones movie so fuck that guy i will say this i'm listening to jones is dying in this one if indiana jones dies a shy little buff kills any of the jones okay then i'm glad you made it Harrison Ford other than that fuck you well it's actually a murder mystery the next yeah jones it's uh indiana jones and the curse of the um missing diabetes curse of the million dollar acting contract yeah the case of the missing it's i don't care but i keep getting work that so many actors in los angeles are dying to do hook my life hashtag fml i want to say this and i might take jake up i know you're listening to this please please let me know how you feel about this uh because i feel like Harrison Ford saying in return of the jedi that he should be killed i feel like his baby overstepping his role as an actor a little bit is that is that reasonable to say i like if this was like if this was like not a movie like i feel like maybe there's some leeway there where it's like hey you're in the writing process you gave me this to read here's my here's here my thoughts but i feel like for like a production like return the jedi it's probably like we wrote this movie uh please act in it kind of deal yeah i don't know but see i don't know if at that point he'd gotten already from the other two so big that he felt like he could do that and if you didn't really give a shit to begin with at that point too like now but i don't i don't like this so yeah i should probably i should die make sense i guess i guess my point is i'm kind of going more towards the Tyler side with your argument at him i i know that's not the that's not the desired effect but i kind of feel like maybe Harrison Ford um shouldn't have been like hey let me tell you how to write this movie yeah plus if he knew george lucas he should have known like he's not he's not he wants that he's was most that toy money he's not gonna he's not gonna he's not merchandising yeah here's another thought on Han Solo um this is not my original thought i heard this on another podcast called tell him steve dave um one of their hosts uh brian quinn uh said something that i i didn't think about when i was watching the movie uh the episode seven um most of the characters from the original uh most of the original cast is like right back where they were and like Han Solo is like the prime example of that where it's like he goes through all of this saving the fucking galaxy um and like how depressing it is that he winds up like right where he was at the beginning of a new hope just i read i think about that they had to in order to end his arc the way it needed to end they had to restart his arc all over again so yeah they had to tell his whole story again so he could reach the resolution he should have had truck you know it's kind of weak but it's like depressing yeah and like cuz uh Q says that on on tell him steve it is depressing like yeah it is kind of depressing that it's like he goes through all this character goes through all that winds up where he was before it all started and then something bad happens to him spoilers yeah i fucked it up like you know i i'm a big fan of the show girls as the seasons have gone on i've gotten become a little less of a fan he's there for the character who plays adam who also plays kylo Ren yeah so i never saw him prior to um him playing kylo Ren yeah he is a rage monster in girls so well knowing what i know about kylo Ren that's that's where it makes sense yeah yeah that totally makes sense because he's a rage monster yeah it's our wars yeah take some more you want more yeah one more i just now got this cult 45 below the label again i know i know but i have to pee and so i mean like two more can we set a limit okay we do two more okay are we good with that okay two more two more i'll be the party booper here i'll be there for to the group here is a text message from 520 who says hey tadpog thanks for making my day i tend to jump to the new apps then go back to catching up since i drive all the time for work i hope to get a package out next weekend anyway keep up the good work jack of moon's mic ah yeah jack of moon's you welcome i'm glad we made your day thank you um i worry sometimes that it's weird that is it is it weird that sometimes i still feel like we're just like shouting into the void no i mean although we have wonderful people who call us and leave us messages and stuff but it's weird it it never feels like i never feel like i'm really doing anything like i don't be to like downplay what we're doing here at all but i mean there are moments where it's like should we be doing better than we're doing like should we you know it's like i got a look at the calendar and scratch man is like we've been doing this a while i mean three hundred episodes people are people still listening to us that's why these all call shows are so fucking important because that like reminds me that yes it's not just it's not just the people who communicate with us regularly on facebook we're also people other people are actually listening so out of the out of the five gay who listen to streets of rage yeah we only hear from a very small portion of them so it's weird it's it's a weird it's a podcasting is weird because it's not like you don't get a immediate response for things yeah and like your your content is out there for a very long time who knows where someone's gonna start listening so that was very nice thank you for leaving that message you really do appreciate it and you didn't even say you didn't even take any blows the title i didn't take any punch out it's great all right here is a voicemail this is from six five one mother's looking to add dog go to here um we're in quite of a big like blizzard up in Minnesota here so uh i've been stuck in traffic for three hours fair yeah to uh ask a question so um i was eating handicap hot fries today i'm sure you guys have them different like that's a calm heart something um but i'd have to say those are my favorite chip slash munchy i guess i don't i consider them a chip i don't know who if anybody else that but i'd have to say that's probably my favorite and i just want to throw the question out to you guys since you guys eat a lot of chips from the show now um what has been the tastiest chip on the show and what are your personal favorites all right thank you uh i'm gonna be going for another hour here in the car so i'll talk to you later i might come back i don't know all right thanks for calling we even sent a lot of chips the ghost pepper frost goes over chips that lord mike sent us i think we're the best that's the only thing i have went after having those went or something like those are my favorite chips we've had on the show oh it's tough for me because i really enjoyed those um i liked you know i'll be honest with you i'm having a hard time like remembering them specifically i mean we have had a lot of different ones yeah it's been pretty rare where i feel like it's been like oh this is the worst um but yes i do specifically remember the hot chips um obviously because that's kind of my only chip i've had i've been like that's actually hot okay yes what stands out to me i'm kind of gonna circumvent i'm gonna dodge the question a little bit what stands out to me the most is um the hot sauces i not a chip i realized not a chip um that very much a chicken tendies kind of thing my hiccup fest was a sanity sense yes but um paul clue will sending those to us reminded me that i needed to track down mrs rinfros uh which is the salsa that that you had picked up uh previously and let me try that uh ghost pepper salsa um and that sent me on this mis magical mystical journey of uh flavorful spices um i found that mrs rinfros also does a green salsa that is not nearly as hot as the ghost pepper salsa but the flavor is amazing i put this on everything that makes sense like when i make i mean it is like it'll turn like a microwave burrito like menshun shows up and cast flavorness on it just like oh my god this is amazing it's amazing what four tablespoons of green salsa does to this um so like that that to me has been not too not to like cast shade on or any of the things that have been sent to us but like this the hot sauce package was like man this is great because it has turned me on to a thing that i cannot live without i went to the south side walmart to on on that's where i started my adventure to try to find the mrs rinfros no dice not nine years walmart didn't have it so um i i asked my mom because uh my sister lives in luable and instead of contacting her directly i had to be a big baby about it and be like mom when next time that my sister's in luable can you see if she'll add if she can find some of this salsa and she said yeah sure my mom came back the next day with like five things five jars of mrs rinfros green salsa she's like i thought i could bought all of them she said i don't know when they're gonna get them back so i just bought all of them um and then she bought some of the i dad i've been meeting the mentions on the show she bought some of the ghost pepper salsa as well and um when she was she told me a story that like she could barely tell because she was she found it so hilarious um on um when she's checking out the uh cashier rings it up rings it up rings it up she also bought a bunch of those and then puts them in the bag and looks at my mom and says is it really scary because on the label it says it's scary hot and she stone cold full seriousness asked my mom that the salsa was really scary so is it really scary you right now yeah yeah so she's either the funniest walmart worker ever or maybe possibly the dumbest so that's it that was i totally dodged the question uh i liked a lot of tony's chips as well so i mean chris adlers introduced me to new things i like i like the stuff that he sends pretty much if you send us chips i like you and you're my best friend so there you have it oh that's two or did you want to do two calls let's do another one okay i can hold i can hold this year in a time i bought it for a little bit longer just p and it's called 45 bottles let's fill it back up that's an entirely different kind of monkey that's uh hepatitis monkey look man you know how many girls i've killed all right here's a call from six five one he said about his story again uh just i just called and i totally miss that one i did question i couldn't totally just to ask you guys being stuck in his blizzard trying to go 18 miles taking me over three hours cool uh it's kind of a nightmare um my question for you guys maybe could be funny what is the worst driving conditions you've drove in and did you have to poop i mean i kind of have to poop and i'm not close to home so uh looking forward to your answer um yeah i'll i don't know if i'm gonna call again today but i could have a long way to go yet you're stuck at traffic it's fine all right we get it um worst traffic condition um i'm tormented in two different answers one being the time i drove from Alexandria virginia to paduca kentucky uh like three days before christmas so it was snowy and you had a heavy holiday traffic a 12 hour drive became like a 16 17 hour drive that sucked the other was whenever i got stuck in rush hour in manhattan that that's rule that's a whole new level of stress that was awful don't drive don't drive in new york and i won again i was helping a friend move into he was moving into brooklyn yeah so i helped him i helped him move oh god i took like a wrong turn and i got fucking stuck in manhood oh jesus every time i go to new york every time this is no exaggeration at some point i'm like holy shit i'm glad i'm not driving here i like look at the roads and i'm just like i don't know how do i don't know how anybody does this i've been i mean i've washing in dc is just like it's it's new york beats it by just a little bit really just a little bit really because everything in dc is just so poorly laid out and there are tons of the day where it's just like it's that nexus of like maryland and dc and virginia that it's just this fucking awful like the traffic is why i quit by primarily like it was kind of a shitty job but i could have like made it work but the traffic and the commute from alexandria to betheza whenever i was working in the betheza country club i was like i can't keep making this drive no fucking way because you had to get there i had to go right through the thick of dc and it was terrible every day and there's that time you almost died which time you and niki in the snow plow yeah yeah that was like i'm not really i guess i mean not really a traffic condition but yeah they were the worst driving conditions for sure she was driving and then um assault truck stopped on the interstate uh to help somebody who had gone into the median it was just the roads were just completely eyes um which explains assault truck uh and so because he stopped in a lane just on the interstate just stopped in the right lane um it was coming down really bad we didn't even see his lights until like i mean it was i mean there was no stopping like niki put the brakes on and did nothing so i mean it was just like i mean she put like i saw her slam on the brakes and the car just like it was like just kept on going it was just like brakes we'll lock up and skate cool so yeah that was like certainly one of those moments where it's like oh this is it like we're we're dead we're dead we're we're not walking away from this and we did we walked away from and that was some really good sex that was some really good like aching sex after that because it was like i am alive so i'm sure she'll hate that i said that but whatever um it's okay you've had good sex it's fine it's she's one of the girls i've kissed by the way just for the rescue if she wasn't um i drive i don't believe in that thank you yeah no thank you i well i'd still like to put this inside but i'm not gonna kiss is that unlike julia roberts for pretty woman i'm not going just all the time and by that i'm you sir or no richard dear my husband that is like that is framed above our bedroom or bedroom doorway um i drive a early 2000s toyotizelica every single weather incident is a driving condition for me and my brakes don't work anymore so that's a problem um but when we got some heavy rain here at like last year that was tough because i had to be very careful about like if there was a puddle in the road i just had to go around it i could not risk like i could not risk it like i don't know this puddle is two inches deep or if it's a foot deep because on my way to work uh the morning after that heavy rain i saw a car i was behind i was driving behind a car do do do do do my normal thing and i saw a car disappear into a puddle like you just drove into it it was like the car just went down it was like all right i guess i'm i mean they're okay clearly they're all right that's aquaman he's fine because that's why whenever south side flooded i was driving home from work one day like there's no way i could have gotten home without driving through the flood area so like i had to drive through and we're like six inches of water standing in my car as i'm driving down the road because that's all i can do it's melt great and yeah for the for the rest of the time i had the car kody i hope you made it yeah i hope you're still alive what's your favorite um blizzard tyler since we're talking about blizzards have we have we talked about what our favorite blizzard i don't know uh george mud fudge like wow that's an interesting well i don't think i've ever had i don't think i've ever seen that on the menu is it a discontinued one last one was there it was still up there so yeah i'm a nerd blizzard guy it's impossible to get they had it in the one in murray for a little bit about to say i don't even remember i can choose a good give me have like a plain blizzard please yeah just just you know agitated ice cream and a cup and i'll add my own nerds i've done that before yeah i've done that i've gotten vanilla ice cream from dairy queen and a box of nerds and just um will end it um like on like a low setting to get make friends with one of the people that works there they were actually shake telling me like that's what all they would do like at night if the manager was gone they just make up their own blizzard flavors and eat them really yeah that sounds like a good job yeah that sounds like a good job especially for shake because like he was a good high school job yeah we are i don't mean yeah like now yeah man we got we gossip with this type of work technically right no but i mean like that sounds like a good because like shake seems like one of those guys who's just like yeah try this let's try this let's put this thing in the blizzard machine and see what happens yeah so i feel like that's like a good that's like a good high school job for him i probably would have been too worried that i would make something horrible that no one would ever let me forget so what abomination have you crafted david has you done good yeah i probably need to i probably need to be doing it i do need your name okay thanks for listening everyone you find the show on itunes stitcher and soundcloud uh so you miss the next episode we're going to be doing the final chapter of the literal little fears actual play and let's see hey we need those five-star artunes fuse been stuck at 143 for a very long time although i'm so glad i'm glad we're that far that's awesome number that far i remember once we hit like 102 that was a long drought so do us a favor it helps grow the show because itunes is still i don't know when it will ever be overtaken but it's the biggest place for podcasts so please go to itunes type in tadpog subscribe give the show a five-star rating writer review so if there's a guest social number an episode a game you want us to play a patreon request whatever include that in your review and we promise we will get to that eventually don't worry guys like tyler said we're gonna be back in the meantime you can always find us in tadpog.com you have got to go there so you can see the fucking fabulous amiibos that have been crafted yep uh by mr jordan meow still still not going to pronounce his name i think i think that's good i think that's just title at this point yes chairman jordan me so man we're going to have photos of these on there i'm not going to post them on facebook i'm going to force you to go to tadpog.com and look at them at the show notes so please check those out um hey i just this facebook go find us there facebook.com/ tadpog i've just i've confessed how much i fucking hate it but you might like it we're on there yep you can find us on twitter we are at tadpog underscore podcast it is cumbersome i realize but thank you very much for retweeting us especially our episode announcements um which those retweets keep going up so thank you that's great hopefully we can pick up some uh some new listeners i also feel like it's worth mentioning that we were recently on uh an episode of loaded cart gaming uh which our friend paul clue will co-hosts we recorded it a while back but it was released uh when this publishes it'll be it will have released two days ago so okay um i know you can find them on facebook um and we tweeted about it too so at tadpog underscore by guess there's a link there um we i love the description that they had for the episode they say that it is very not safe for work so we have a great reputation what well that's our track record for guest appearances on other podcasts it's just like yep they need to like go out of their way they'd be like all right these guys are a little weird and they like to talk about sex a lot um so yeah check that out um we're gonna be having a bonus episode for patreon donors um so done this week we've changed our schedule a little bit we're gonna try something new we're gonna try doing uh bonus episodes near the beginning of the month instead of near the end of a month so um i know uh that's what rents do exactly so uh former master coin slash master of coin uh ryan walters and he he was on patreon and he said where's the episode so i was like it kind of made me feel good that someone was like uh excuse me we normally hear exactly we normally have a thing that i like and it's not here what's going on uh so rest assured we're we're gonna be working on that so we'll have something for you soon um if you want to get that bonus episode but i had an idea i at least went to the story regardless what we'll do okay a long long time ago uh if tat bog historians may remember uh that i mentioned a show because i joked about because if there's a story i won't tell until it's behind the paywall so now that we sort of have a paywall i will be telling the jasmine story which is i have yet to tell the jasmine story and it not make people gag because it is a grotesque oh it is a very gross story so there you go i will tell the jasmine story finally after like three years i brought it up really early on uh i'll tell that i will tell that story on the next patreon i'm not even gonna come with a story i'm just gonna let you tell the jasmine story because a) i don't have one and b) there's no way that i could follow the jasmine story yeah so if you want to hear that i trust me you do we'll figure out a way to make it normal length but the story though the episode it won't be like a 20-minute episode we'll make it a full-length episode but oh sure we'll just tell the story a several time yeah it'd be like a choose your own adventure can we do that or like i tell you to do different things in the story and we see how it goes uh if you want to hear that and i guess it's also about it's it's a it's a sex story it's the grossest sexual story well it's the grossest story i have and it falls in subcategory sexual so okay all right that sounds like a reasonable um reason yeah to give us a dollar i would give a dollar to hear that if you would like to give a dollar to hear the grossest sex story that tyler has you can go to patreon.com/tadblog um piss story nothing nothing compare doesn't compare does not compare okay all right you heard it here mhm uh check us out thank you very much to those who already donate it's amazing we've been able to buy some new stands and uh some pop filters for guests so that's been really cool we're getting i'm working on getting a backup soundboard and as soon as i can make a decision on which one we need that'll be happening so that's all because of patreon money yeah thank you um what else you can call us if you want if you want to be on one of these shows one of these all-call shows give us a ring at 270-883-2555 i've remimorised our phone number thank you i'm very proud of myself yeah um not our bunker code no not the bunker code uh if you would like to mail us things so you can do that mm-hmm tyler do you have that p o box address that is tad bug studios care of nicole nance p o box three seven eight five but duka kentucky four two zero zero two then we also have an instagram at tadpog underscore podcast so lately i haven't had a lot of stuff to put on there so but i still publish stuff on instagram fairly frequently so video game stuff or funny funny things that i see or pictures of kin that are somewhat podcast related that's all on there are little fears character sheets from there little fish yeah i've seen those yeah so check those out let's see our theme song is moves by second we're driving the fact that we found the charles at tadpog.com how could you like to close this out uh like a trash monkey all right how we just interpret what a trash monkey would sound like mhm sounds good so until next time a tropical tropical that was i love to hang out at playgrounds well that's just a state my boys i'm drunk and i'm always on these monkey bars like call me like call me the trash monkey and i i feel i've been pretty reserved oh really yeah i think it's time that i really just tell something personal about myself really for once just dig deep and talk about some stuff that's gonna make my wife just like roll her eyes get a little angry little frustrated that i talk about it it's not about her is that why she's gonna be frustrated she'll be she's like why would you tell she saw my notes and she's like you really had to talk about this do you really have to tell those stories that yeah yeah they can do okay lay it on us so let's preface it first by saying like i was very awkward in middle school like very very awkward mom still bought all my clothes like i had a complete corduroy suit i wore to school at least two days right like ridiculous and she also did my hair so every every year i would change it to something equally as ridiculous like my sixth grade year i had like a color no brine thing going on yeah middle school was parted in the middle like not like the double color no brine and like two swoops on both sides nice and then yeah eighth grade year every like a like a late 1800s bartender yes it looked like handlebar mustache only on my head it was it was ridiculous like you posted the fifth place jedi like if i posted those pictures they're bad i think you should i think you should okay so in middle school chubby short weird hair corduroy suit a real winner yeah yeah wasn't getting much vagina so so i'm taking anything that's being thrown at me at that point i mean in middle school it's like who's getting a lot of john in middle school a lot of kids i knew were getting vagina middle school not not none of my friends but i heard about it i'd heard about this so the first time i got to do it as awkward as my performance is awkward as my dress let's put it like that you were wearing a dress it was my my method of dress i mean so the first time you were wearing a dress i think we should need to end the show like uncle steve i don't feel good about this now i understand why mag was like i don't think you should you know what save this one for therapy Tyler so it was uh i was doted upon by a very let's just call her fat okay like all right like no one else is throwing it at me sure sure all right bringing on girl who outweighs me three to one and i was chubby so like i awkwardly fumbled around poked up poked under vagina heard somebody coming i mean no wait wait well i was already i was in a semi-public place at the time i was a church nice so i got down there filling around i thought i hear somebody open the door no one had good grooming habits back then wait so yeah she had a lot of a lot of pubic hair so i hear somebody coming i jerk my hand out and i rip out a handful god yeah yeah yeah that's the only half the story eventually like no one's coming things proceed well you're new i mean yeah i'm on my way home and i'm just like smells funny did i did i do it right so i asked the next day i called her nastard like did i put her in your butt oh that's