Time Lord Josh Edwards, of “Thirty-Minute Madden ’94 Call” fame, returns to TADPOG to talk about Red Dead Redemption (Grand Theft Horse). Tyler regales us with tales of the monster known as Broken Claus. Dave tells more bathroom stories. We twirl our mustaches while reminiscing sinister virtual acts. Josh gives us a Second Breakfast style gauntlet!
TADPOG: Tyler and Dave Play Old Games
Ep. 302 – Red Dead Redemption
Hi there, listener. You're about to experience Tadpog, Tyler and Dave played games, and there will be plenty of game talk. But also, copious amounts of crude, off-color, offensive, and immature speech. So if you are of a rather sensitive, humor constitution, or just letting you know what you're in for with this show, it has games. It has jokes. You know, just games and jokes. Take the games, take the jokes, and have a good time. Hello Internet, and welcome to another Tadpog podcast. It's a show that happens twice a week, where two old guys, and now, interesting for the first time, another old guy. Talk about old games. And birds. We also have birds on this episode. It's so fucking super hot in Tadpog high-rise, that we've opened the window. And there's no screen in it, so we might get a bird. So what do we do if a bird flies in? We just keep going. Turn on the mic and see if the bird sets down. Barney Sanders style to sit front of the mic. Jiko, then you hit L1 and you shoot that little bitch and take feathers. So that voice, that is for the first time on the show, like not leaving a 10-minute voicemail about Madden, but actually being on the show. Time Lord, Josh Edwards. So welcome. Thank you. Glad to be here. I got chills when you said hello Internet. I don't understand. It was so weird when I was talking to you about coming on the show. It was like, oh man, I feel awful that we've never asked Josh Edwards to be on the show because Josh, I think you've listened to us for a very long time. Yeah. I think I'm one of the Tadpog elders in that sense. I've listened to all of the shows and most of them twice. I'm not in the Phil Hawkins territory. Sandwich Pope, Phil Hawkins territory, but I'm getting close. His Tadpog MMR is through the fucking roof. It is ridiculous. But no, thanks for having me on guys. I appreciate it. If I had had a game, I was really adamant about I would have pestered you. I just like listening. You guys are the best. That's how Ryan feels like. He's here. He could be on whenever, but he's like, nah, it's like everyone's in the car. So, but so this doing this game was your idea, Josh. I think Dave and I might have come up with it at the same time. I was just talking about it because I kind of had a renaissance with this game. I played it a lot when it first came out, and then recently, I've moved around a lot, so I took breaks, but recently played it from the beginning, finally beat it, actually, and then decided to go through and play it again from the beginning, and I was telling Dave about it. And I was a super opportunist, and I was like, oh shit, you just played this? Well, Tyler's been talking about, let's do Red Dead Redemption for a while, and I don't want to replay it. So, come on, chill, come on, chill, come on, chill. It's all fresh in your mind. Great, great, great, great. Yeah, so it was clearly Dave's idea. It was cool. So we're doing Bioshock again. That's what I didn't tell either, you fucker. All right, perfect. It's good. It's good. No, yeah, I've been wanting to do Red Dead for a while, just because that's usually a game when we're like, oh fuck, what do we need to do? Another council over my shelf, and it's this red and white case, so it draws my eye. Red Dead? And I always feel bad because it's like, then I enjoy this game so much when I played it, that I want to do it justice. So it's like, Final Fantasy Tactics has been mentioned a lot of times, too, when we're in a pinch, and I feel the same way about it, where it's like, Good, I want to do that game justice, like I want to replay that game or get somebody who is super, super, super familiar and played it recently. Or outsource this to somebody. Tyler, honestly, I think you'd be fine to do, like you could sit there by yourself into a Final Fantasy Tactics episode. Oh, yeah. I believe that. I believe that. I just didn't want to look like an idiot, but I mean, that's been a couple of years now, so now everybody knows that I don't really know anything about video games. That wouldn't be a problem. The facade has worn thin. They know you're just here for the sweet voice and the laugh. That's right, man. We've been doing this for a while, and Polygon still has it, sent me an email saying, Hey, dog, you want to write reviews? So I'm pretty sure everybody knows I don't know what I'm doing. We get one from Cigar aficionado, but we turned it down. Yes, that's legit a bit. We might do that. Yeah, we could probably do that. I think you guys are too well. Pinhouse? Is that still around, or is that just a website? Is there a pinhouse with the four fingering girls? What would that magazine be called? Finger Hut? It's sponsored by Smuckers. It's a deep look into the church. Oh, no, no, no, the little Dutch boy. That's all about sticking your fingers and dikes. It's fine. Oh, wow. You put another layer on it. Yeah. This is a fetish on a fetish. Like goodness. Well, before we get to into that, to into everything else, I'm your bearded host, Tyler, and I had a weird dream the other night. And I know everybody loves being told about other people's dreams. Yeah, that's right. That's what I'm here to do. Please psychoanalyze yourself, none of all of us. Don't be great. This is one of those dreams, like, normally if I have a dream, I will then like get online and do like the dream encyclopedia and look at what, you know, what elements and dreams mean, what? Cross reference it with your dream journal. Yep. I'm not sure how this one, because I immediately woke up and text somebody about it. So I have it all like it's all fresh. I know what happened. But in my dream, it was, I suppose you could say it was the current modern world, but Pokemon was real. Like, wait, wait, what do you mean? Like you were in the Pokemon world. Wait, Pokemon. It was Pokemon. What now? Pokemon are real. Oh, all the angel, not American. But no, I saw on Google Maps. I saw them. I saw them in there. But like everyone just had like the Pokemon, everybody was trainers and everything. It was just like, that's just Earth, modern day Earth, but Pokemon were real. And I was going to a cabinet in the woods. I don't think it was Mcawane's cabin. I'm not sure. When you looked at a cabin in the woods online, what would you feel? Well, it's just a great place to go as well. Okay, just hang out. Nothing bad happens here. Okay. If I remember I was going out and I was like setting up a boat or something like that when I don't remember anything about the trainer, but somebody just rolled up on me and challenged me to a Pokemon fight. So I was like, okay, sure. So we go out like into a clearing in the woods and I remember what Pokemon I chose. I remember the trainer. I remember my Pokemon. I remember as the other Pokemon, the other trainer throwing out his Pokeball and saying, I choose you broken claws. Okay. Okay. Like a legal thing. No, broken claws turned out to be Santa Claus, but he was riddled with arrows. Oh my god. So it was, it was the specifically it was the. Was it Tim Allen? It was it was the Santa Claus from. Oh, what is that? The show on Cartoon Network where they. Future. I mean, the action figures sub-motion robot, robot, robot, robot chicken. Robot chicken. It was the robot chicken Santa Claus, but he was like, he was. Chicken robot. Cover with, uh, we get it. It's fun. Like crossbow fletching, like where he had been shot and he was broken claws. And we were fighting and. Who did you choose? See, I don't, I don't remember who I chose. I just remember like, I was winning and then broken claws. The trainers were gonna do a move that was like a god tier move. And I was like, oh, fuck. So I remember like, I grabbed somebody was there and I grabbed and I was running toward the cabin. And I just barely got out of the range of this. Enormous like Pokemon god tier Ultima move. What, what, like, was he throwing presents or. No, that was like, like it was. He's throwing arrows out and tossing them at you. It was something akin to Final Fantasy seven's Ultima. Okay. So just Christmas energy. Yeah. He was just lasting you with the spirit of Christmas. And like, I know those people who love Christmas are now wrapped. Just joy and giving. But like, I think I rolled on like the porch of the cabin and I'm just barely out of the range. And then like, I jumped in the cabin and he does some others sort of follow up move. But there are a bunch of people in the cabin. One of them I remember was Andrew WK. Don't know why he was there. I don't know. I don't know any of his music. He was just there. And something like that. There are all these lights going on outside of the cabin windows. And Andrew WK like, he just says like, uh oh. And he walks over and opens the front door. And outside the front door it now looks like the intro to Dr. Who when the Tardis is tumbling through space. And he's like, shit, we're lost his time in space. That was like, what are we going to do? I love you just to explain it to you. It's like, oh man, look at that front door. Clearly see our loss of time in space makes the broken claws and it's ultimate moves. And then the rest of the dream was just me and him just talking about Dr. Who. We figured out a way to like land somewhere like in, I guess, a parallel time. To our own. I could tell it was, it was the same earth, but things were a little different. Like there were two things that were different. I could tell like, well, it's different, but it's acceptable. We can just live here. One, Parks and Rec never went off the air. And it was on, and it was on season 10. How was it season 10? Leslie was like a fashion designer. She'd gotten into fashion. Seems like it would have had to go in that direction. And then to my great-grandmother was still alive. And she was like 105. So I was like, oh, okay, we can roll with this one. Yeah, that sounds like a pretty good world. Yeah. Oh, also everyone happened to be bugs in here and skin. Because it is, I woke up and it reminded me of the Simpsons where Homer is just like going from dimension to dimension, trying to find what's okay. That's right. And he finally settles at the end, right? What happens? They have like- They're lizard people like eating with their darting their tongue. He's like, oh, okay, I can do this. Is that a tree house of horror? Yeah. Yeah. Man, those used to be so good. Yeah, they were. And there was no other show that did anything like that. Like just decided to jump out of its own universe for this one series, you know, one episode. It was so fun. All right, what's in my favorite episodes? Was that it? Was that the end of your dream? Yeah, that was it. So anybody knows like what Santa Claus with arrows means in a dream? And Andrew W.K. and being lost in time and space. That also was positive. Yeah. Sure, it's good. You'll end up in a good place. Yeah. I was broken claws, man. You know what I think you're broken claws. You know what I think it was? What? I think when you were lost in time and space, Jesus sent you to the proper, the proper dimension. Where I was supposed to be from. Yes. Because you know how he and Santa Claus don't really mix all the- All the time. Well, it's a deadly default. You just find the world that like, okay, we'll live here now. Yeah, it's fine. No, I don't want to play this game five more times. We give up. No, this world. No, please. No, please. No, this world's good. What's up internet? I am Dave. I am your respective host. And I realized just two seconds after Tyler started his intro story. I was supposed to pick up a letter from Nicole. Someone sent Nicole a letter. Someone just sent a letter to Nicole's box. Not for us, just like Nicole. Maybe she was bragging when she texted me. She was like, I got a letter. It's not a bill or a flyer or anything. You want to pick it up? Too bad, it's mine. So when we're done recording, I need to text the girl. I'll be like, I'm sorry, I forgot. So I kind of had to scrambling here. I'm hunting for an intro story, because even though I don't have the letter, I was relying on it. So I don't know. How about let's just make up. What do we think it would say? It'd probably say Dear Tadpog. I hope you guys get Josh Edwards on the show sometime. Also, by the way, I had full disclosure. I sent the letter. Actually, EA sent the letter and they were like, man, there is a dude who loves talking about some mad. Can you please get him on our show? I'm waiting on that sweet EA money. He said, I just talk. So I'm scrambling here, and the only thing that can come to mind is, for a while I was giving bathroom work updates. The bathroom work. Bathroom massages, like I would just go for a few people a year and I'll just rub their shoulders so they'd give me money. You know, in the airport, the movie theater, stadium, sporting events, that kind of thing. Just like some figures under the stall. Is that how it works? No, it's actually really nice. Two is a blow job. Three is just a nice massage. It's nice. So that's what happened. I screwed that up last time. I did not have to suck that, but he digs. At the airport. No, you wait until someone's in midstream at the urinal and you just kind of walk up behind them and caress their thigh. And then you're like, give me five dollars and I'll stop. I would give you all the money in my pocket. And you'd probably need to keep going. You might take it out yourself, wouldn't you? You'd just reach in. Yeah, I sometimes I do. Most of the time it works. Sometimes I got to suck a dick. But I do clear about $200 a day. Wow, a friend. Just let it happen. And then when the cop comes in to the bathroom, like it's not prostitution. He's not paying me for that. These services are pro-bono. This is just the risk I run, officer. When I try to pull a bathroom massage today. STD/assault roulette, I call it. It's very fun. We're a non-profit massage institution. Although it's public record of what I do with the funds. It's not profit. It's true, officer. I'm not paying them. They're just hobbyists. This is fun for them. I don't claim this on my taxes. So it's not it's truly a hobby. It's right. It's more of a gambling loss. Yeah, that's a good way of putting it. So I do have a work bathroom update. The new bathrooms are in. They're marvelous. Thank you for the, you gave me advice on bathroom etiquette when to lock the door, when not to lock the door. So glad that you did that. Super, super glad that I got the advice. Because now every time I go in, I just lock the door. I just lock the door. I do not care if it doesn't matter if I'm peeing or if I'm making plop-plops. I just lock the door. And the other day, I thought of the show. And I was like, "Thank God we do Tadpog." Because otherwise, someone will have walked in and just seen my wiener. Because I locked the door. I was at the urinal. And then I hear it. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do. I'm like, "Oh man." Sounds like they really got to go. Too bad. I'm in here. And now I have to take my time. So they know it's not me who is in here. So now it's like- If you were just peeing, there's no shame, man. They're not going to spell anything. No, no, but still, they'd be like, "You're the motherfucker who caused me to hold my bladder." Yep, yep, leads to- I've got a UTI now. Thanks a lot, Dave. Yeah, damn it. So that's good. I'm a door locker. I'm definitely a door locker. Yeah, I got. I mean, you know, it was nice getting confirmation. Yeah, you just commit to it. And then if they know you was a door locker, that's too bad. Do you see me get up, walk the bathroom? You should know what's going to happen. So I don't know if this was a cost-saving maneuver. For electricity, or if it was just for a productivity enhancer. But at work now, in the bathrooms, they're lovely. They're lovely, except that the lights are on a timer. So it really sucks when you've got to take a long- You've just got a lot of plops that you've got to deliver. It's really tough. I can't tell you how many times that I've- shit by cell phone light. Well, I did that. And it just weighed my arms in the air until the lights come back on. The problem with it is that the sensor is like at the, uh, breach of the door. So it's like you cannot, like, so the first time it happened, I'm like doing sitting jumping jacks on the toilet. And now- Which helped move the process long, but you feel silly. Yeah. Well, it bruised my ass a little bit. But, um, man. So yeah, I got to deal with that now, but it's a small price to pay. So every time I go to the bathroom now, I have to make sure that I bring my phone. And so I'll turn the flashlight on and I'll just set it on top of the toilet paper dispenser and just finish my thing, which makes me really wonder, like, when people come to the door and try to open it and it's locked and they see under the door just darkest. I'm pretty sure- I'm pretty sure David's masturbating in there. Well, no matter what, no matter how badly I have to go, if I get, like, to the toilet, pants are down, I forgot my phone, pulling the pants back up. Really? Back in the room. Really? Back in the back. Really? Yeah. Oh. Yeah. Okay. I get it. I do. It's like, it's torture being on the toilet without your phone. They really is. Because it's like- I'm past the point where I can reach shampoo bottles and be okay. Yeah. I don't have any foxtrot books now. Yeah. Well, whose fault is that? My pittles. Man, I remember when I knew what was in shampoo. I have no idea anymore. Chemicals. Probably flowers and stuff. Something that ends with I-N-E or O-N-E or- Echinacea and some kind of D'Hoxrazine, whatever. It's something that acts in it. That's all. Don't worry, I'll have it in the show notes at tadpog.com. You want to know what's in shampoo? Check it out. Ed, don't want to go read yours while in the toilet. There you go. It's fine. It's fine. Have yourself one? Would like to read the pack of shampoo bottle instead? Check out the show notes. Do you have an intro story or anything, Josh? Anything prepared? I have a couple that I could mention. I'm not sure. I don't know if I want to do the one that makes me look like an innocent child. Or the one that doesn't. Let's go with the one that doesn't. Okay, all right. Looks like if we voted, I would lose. It might depend. It might depend on if you're going to have your wife listen to this, right? No, actually. She's got a book and she's gone to read somewhere. She said she sent me a text. She's like, "I'll wait till you're done. I know you have to be lewd." So you don't think she's going to track the episode down and listen to the things that you said? Oh, I'm sure she will. Except she won't. She won't, actually. I think she'd like me to think that she would. Okay. So you're on your best behavior? No, I'm not. I'm just going to beat myself. I'm just going to beat me. And I'll tell this story because she's never heard it. And if so, she does listen. Okay. I think she'll find this. Well, I don't know what she'll think of it. She'll be really attracted to you. I'm assuming. Okay, so I'm your semi-bearded and glass. Glass is wearing, be spectacled. Sorry, I screwed that up. You want to cut that? No, no, no, we don't do that here. We're going to turn that section up. I have to pass this in. Some of a beard because I shaved wrong the other day. And I'm from Josh Edwards. Yeah. You're rocking the goatee now. I am by accident. And it'll only last about four or five days. And then hopefully nobody will see that. You've got to go Ned Flanders, man. You got it. I'm afraid I could do a Ned Flanders. I think I've got one right now if I trimmed it right. You could. I think you should do it and send us a photograph. And we'll put it in the show notes. Hi to Lejo, neighbor, you know? Well, when I was growing up, so I'm thinking this is about six or seventh grade. This was pre-internet, right? This is like late eighties. And I had seen a couple of Playboy magazines. I knew that when I looked at a woman without her clothes on, I felt weird. Can you describe that feeling Josh for us, please? Yeah, it's just kind of tingly. And like, I don't know what's happening. And I don't want to talk about my feelings and. Yeah, and anyway. Should I have experienced that by now? Oh. I don't want to spoil anything for you, Dave. But if you were to see a naked female. Yeah. Some times boys. God, I hope one day. But yeah, so I'm like 12 or 13. And I had seen a couple. And I knew a little bit about, you know, how I worked. You can make yourself come up all proper right now. Like you're invested. Make yourself come all proper. Come up proper. I like that. That's right. That's right. And I really wanted to see a naked female. And I was like, I have no idea how to do this. I can't go into a store and buy a porn magazine. I'm way too young. And I would not have been brave enough to try that. But we had just moved into this house and it occurred to me. They're like, OK, somebody lived here before. We've only been here about a year. Maybe there's something around here. And I just had it in my head. Like there's got to be a naked, a picture of a naked woman around here somewhere. There's got to be. Because I remember that thirst. And I was like, I can't get into the attic. So it doesn't even matter if it's there. I was like, but the garage is weird. There's all kinds of stuff in the garage. And I don't know what some of it is. Maybe there's maybe some places. I thought I was going to hide some shit. But I put it in the garage. All right. So I just walked myself out there and I'm looking around. I'm like, where would I hide something? If I wanted to hide something in the garage. I looked up near the ceiling. I was like, there's some spots up there. So I crawl up on the workbench. And I'm feeling around up there. And I'll be damned if there's not this magazine. And I pull it down. And it's all dusty. And it's 1970s black and white porno mag. And I was like, fucking yeah. Yeah. Wow. That's an amazing find. Rivers. I knew. I knew. I knew somebody wanted to see a naked female and had been here before. And they're like a Jedi. That's like little fears using innocent magic to like provide for yourself. That's right. I was like, I knew there had to be something here. And so I found it for like three years. That was my go to. I read every single article every. I mean, multiple times. I looked at every single picture. I worked it to every single picture. That was one picture. Even the ads. I do want to know one weird trick. I remember I showed it to all my friends new. I had this thing and it was like this strange because they I discovered later that they had moved into the Technicolor era. They had, you know, they had magazines with with with colored pictures. You know, and yeah, it's not very politically correct, Josh. That was not the appropriate. No, so it was weird. But there was this one woman, I remember, and it something just didn't look right. Like she was like sitting there spread eagle. And I was like, God, I'm that's kind of scary. I'll be honest, I'm a little scared about that. What was scary about it was I don't know. It just looked like like like, um, I don't know, like, like, you. Like a bat. Like a giant bat was just like vibing on her. No, no beds. First of all, yeah, it was it was not the shaved era. I don't know where we're in now, but it's. Yeah, we're going we're moving back. We're moving around now. Yeah, it's wild bush, um, you know, thorny tentacle. This thing looked like the Sarlac. It was like, I'm stuck inside each other. Oh boy. And I just and I it high school, I just could not. I was like, no, no, no. I don't, I don't think I like that. I do remember and I don't know why, but there's this one sentence in one of the stories that I have never been able to forget. You want me to say it? You want me to tell you what it is? I can I can I can. You very much so, please. Okay. And so so the guy is about to to to climax, right? He's about to come in that the and and it says in the story, it's like, and he spewed the milky substance into her slippery channel. Josh. Hey, Josh. Here's what I love the most about the story that that sentence is burned into your memory. You delivered that just like like you think about it. Like every every week it like creeps into your body. That's like, hey, Josh, remember me? We tell you what font it's in. I could see it and I'm just and I remember just being like, oh my God. Please please rep if you're listening to this, please send Josh next time you have sex. Please tell him where to put it in your slipper. If you don't, I will. So free channel. That's what I learned. Slippery channel. The three claims are a slippery channel. We have to find this. We have to find this magazine on eBay and it for Josh. Never let you know. Honestly, I've never looked for it. I bet I could find it. I know what it looks like. I'm looking new. I've got a search string. I've got a sentence I could look for. Yeah. Slippery channel mag. Well, since you're talking about porn, I do have one last small segue. Awesome. Because I'll put it in my notes that Hopps and heroes drew a bailing to their Zelda episode. It's a great episode. I think it's their best episode yet. And we asked, because I'm listening to it. I'm a way to Tennessee and they get through all of my questions. And all of your questions, Dave, and sort of the end of the show, I'm like, I think I have to answer the last question. I know. I know. I was waiting for it. I got it. So they did. The closing moments of the show, because I had asked them, "What's your favorite porn genre?" Dave, I told you before, there was an episode where I remember which episode they did in the past where Drew makes comments about like, water sports as in, as in this play. Yeah. And like, are Kelly? Yes. And like, a lot of like, the freakier stuff in Bailey appears to be freaked out. And then Drew is very like, now you know whatever. It's whatever. People do a thing. It's whatever. So when they get to this question, applause to Bailey, who's just like, "Yeah, girl, I'm girl. Yeah, that's my thing. It's my jam." Drew watchers. I don't know. Yeah. Sex, I don't know. It's like that solidified, that previous comment. And then this solidified for me, Drew likes like some like, eight millimeter style shit. And he does not want to say so. So you're reluctant to answer it, Drew? I know. Got your number, boy. So what are you into? I don't know, man. Like dressing up like a teddy bear and wrapping a rope. And I'm neck tying to a trailer truck and then opening the door and like calling all the kids to come out, look. Well, don't judge me. I like it where a guy ties, you know, floss and straying around all of his teeth and then to a bunch of dogs. And then he kicks the dogs and they all run off and pull out all of his teeth. And then he has to give a gummy bloody blowjob to some stranger on the street. That's what I'm into. That's my shit. They call those gummy worms. So that's a little, a little anecdote, a little reply there. I get it. Drew is sea bass from Dumb and Dumber. Oh man, Dumb and Dumber. That is a man. I haven't seen Dumb and Dumber in since middle school. No one has. Do you raised it from this thing? I've heard Dumb and Dumber 2 is pretty bad. Yeah, yeah. I imagine it is. I have never seen it. I've heard it so bad. Yeah. Is that Dumber and Dumber and Dumb and Dumber? No, Dumb and Dumber the prequel of different actors. Then Dumb and Dumber 2 is T.O. I forgot the prequel. Oh god. Yeah. So the one that's not a prequel is awful? Yep. That's a bummer. But the prequel is clearly amazing. Is that the one that had Silly and Murphy and Ewan McGregor in it? I'd watch that. And a very young Matthew McConaughey. Yes. They resurrected Walter Methylle in my house. He was the pair without a head. It was great. Dave, do you hear that? I do hear that. That's the sound of a bunch of-- Oh, I don't know. Six. Is that a porn denier than I hear? It's the Drew Hedging Trades. I hear barking dogs in the distance. And the distinct rattling of 1,000 teeth. That's how many teeth humans have, right? I'm not in a bat. I'm not in a bat. Why do you like girl and girl? Gross. So here's another thing I want to add to that. Because I'm glad you brought that up. Because when in the past, you and I, Tyler, we have mentioned that girl and girl, doesn't really do it for us. Right. Yeah. And I do-- It's weird because I thought about that since I made that statement on the show. And I will say that the act of a woman and a woman fucking each other doesn't really do it for me. But when they kiss-- Yes, kiss it as second base. Yes. I'm all for that. Yeah. Like, that'll do it. That'll do it. All right. Well, you've really nailed something there, Dave. Because it used to be like, I did like that. Like, I could watch the whole thing. Oh, god, yes. That used to be a preference. Like, that was-- Yeah, totally. I want to see girls blasting each other. Yeah. You see, but I do like girl and girl if it's a strap-on scene. Yeah. And one of the ladies is a mill, and the other is like a young student or something like that. Like she's being trained? Yes. Right. Yep. No, I like it when it gets dark too, man. Usually the mill person would be like, perhaps a business suit. Yeah. A smart Hillary Clinton pants suit. Yes. The other girls are the collar. I don't know. She's the pants suit pager. That's what she does. Yeah. Yeah. You'll speak when you're spoken to. Kind of deal. Yeah, it's fun. That's right. Of course I hear that. Which-- You hear that train? Naturally. She was in a segment we like to call the rest of this episode about porn. So enjoy yourself. Second, we like to call. Dave reads in Wikipedia. Here's the good news, guys. The Wikipedia entry for Red Dead Redemption is so long that I can just read this and then we can just talk about whatever we watch. Tropical Capricorn. That's it. Wrap it up. OK, guys. Red Dead Redemption is an open world Western action adventure video game developed by Rockstar San Diego and published by Rockstar Games. It was released for the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 consoles in May of 2010. It is the second title in the Red Dead franchise after 2004's Red Dead Revolver. The game which is set in the decline of the American frontier in the year of 1911 follows John Marston, a former outlaw whose wife and son are taken hostage by the government in ransom for his services as a hired gun, having no other choice. Marston sets out to bring the three members of his former gang to justice. The game is played from a third-person perspective in an open world environment which allows the player to interact with the game world at their leisure. The player can travel the virtual world which is a fictionalized version of the Western United States and Mexico, primarily on horseback and on foot. Gunfights emphasize a gun slinger gameplay mechanic called Dead Eye that allows players to mark multiple shooting targets on enemies in slow motion. The game makes use of a morality system by which the player's actions in the game affect their character's levels of honor and fame and how other characters respond to the player. There is an online multiplayer mode which is included in the game allowing up the 16 players to engage in both co-op and competitive gameplay and a recreation of the single-player setting. Upon its release, Red Dead Redemption was acclaimed by many reviewers with praise directed at the game's visuals, dynamically generated music, voice acting, gameplay, and story, widely acclaimed by various video game publications, the game has shipped over 14 million copies. It won year-end accolades including Game of the Year awards from several gaming publications. It is widely considered one of the greatest video games of all time. After the game's release, several downloadable content additions were released. Red Dead Redemption colon, undead nightmare, later released as a standalone game which added a new single-player experience in which Marston searches for a cure for an infectious zombie plague that has swept across the Old West. A Game of the Year edition including all additional content was released in October 2011. That's Red Dead Redemption, y'all. Shrablegookabricorn. Let's talk about Girl on Girl. So Josh, I haven't played this game since it came out in 2010. So what is this game about? What is? What do? Yeah, I read some things here. I'm like, oh yeah, I remember that vaguely. The thing that I, John Marston, they left out Canada when they're talking about like the sloth where it takes place because I remember when I first played this game, I was like, okay, well, that's clearly Mexico. And then this is clearly the west, American West. And then there's mountains and snow and bears? Is this Canada? Like is this the smallest continent in the world? It's basically South Park. It's baby continent, yeah. Yeah, no, that's it. I mean, that's exactly right. I am kind of in the same boat as you, Dave, in that I played it a lot a long time ago. But then I just recently got back into it. And it was really fun because you kind of knew how everything was going to turn out. But I had not, well, I say that I hadn't actually beat it. I was right at the end when we left San Diego and I hadn't played it in like two years. And I'd had like a two-year break before that. So I finally beat the game. And then when I got to the ending, I was like, God, I can't even remember how I got here. But I love this game. I, you know, I could remember pieces. So I thought, all right, I want 100% completion on this game. And I don't usually do that. I haven't done that in a long time. As a steep endeavor on this game. It is, it is. And as soon as I look at like what that would take, I was like, I don't know, I don't know, I can do that. You can do it. But I want to do that. I do, I really, I really want to try. So that's what I went back to start over and do. And it just got me into it again. And it occurred to me, I was like, what's the last game that you've played that you could get into now that's six years old? And you could just be like, man, this game is still awesome. I still like this game. And I can't think of anything. The greats, man. Like Bioshock. I would put that on the- Exactly. I mean, it has to be up there in terms of, and certainly with like Westerns. Have you guys played other Westerns? I played Red Dead Revolver. I did not. So I don't have that background. Which is, I loved it. I don't think it was, I mean, it wasn't critically acclaimed. But I liked it because I like Western movies. And it really captured the feeling of Western movies. Like, so in that regard, I can kind of feel like the little inklings that turned into Red Dead Redemption. Where they're like, oh yeah, we're going to make Western references like left and right. It's going to be great. But Red Dead Revolver was extremely linear. Like, there were levels that you had to go through. And it's kind of, so you didn't have the freedom that you have in Red Dead Redemption. And it is like absolutely not required for you to play for Red Dead Redemption. Like, I mean, the connection is so tenuous that it's-- I didn't, they sure miss something. Yeah, they might as well not. Honestly, you do not have to play Red Dead Revolver. I liked it, but Red Dead Redemption is like, whoa, so much better. Because when I picked it up and played it, I was like, this is not what I expected at all. And I really, really like this. Red Dead Revolver was kind of set up where you go through a level. And then you kind of like have a showdown between you and another guy. And you kind of go into that like bullet time kind of mode thing. Yeah, to duel and kill them. So that's kind of it. There was a story, but the story wasn't nearly as compelling as a story in Red Dead Redemption. And this is my huge takeaway from Red Dead Redemption, which is because it's a rock star game. Yeah. Obviously, when I first started playing this game, I was like, oh, well, this is Grand Theft Auto set in the old west with horses. And instead of cars, there's horses. Grand Theft Horse, as it was called. Yeah, exactly. But this actually made me care about the fucking characters in the game, and which has never, ever, ever been the case in a Grand Theft Auto game. You were like, oh, Nico, never have I been like, oh, I died. I should go bowling. It's true. The characters in Grand Theft Auto are not sympathetic. I don't feel like you're, because they're mostly sociopaths. Yeah, well, I mean, John Marston is a former gang member. So I mean, it's real similar, but they do a really good job because they fucking humanize John Marston, which they do not do to Grand Theft Auto characters, usually. Okay, so here's one of the things that I would say really separates it. And I think is a, I don't know what to make of it, but I think it distinguishes it from the Grand Theft Auto series. And that is that there is a strange, I think there's a moralism in Grand Theft Auto as well. I think the game is telling you all the time, wow, those are really terrible things you're doing. Isn't that terrible? Yeah, but it glorifies it, right? Yeah, and it's aware of itself. Yeah. So it knows that you're doing, and I'm okay with that. Yeah, I'm okay with it too. Yeah, it's just different. It is different because in Red Dead Redemption, you cannot get a hooker. You can't beat her up and then take her money after you fucked her like you can in Grand Theft Auto. So there are things you can't do that your character is, he's more of a protagonist instead of playing the antagonist all the time. You actually are on the side of the character that you're on, and he doesn't cheat on his wife. So there's this strange sort of moralism, despite the fact that he could hog-type somebody and then shoot him in the head. Which really fits the genre, don't you think? Because that's all about men with honor who do horrible things. Honor among thieves, like all of that. And I think that that's a really western kind of, maybe it's not a trope, but it's something that seems to fit the western mode. And I think that's where Rockstar Games really nailed this. Because it made it feel like your choices mattered. And if you kill somebody, and oh, this is the other thing I have to say. So in my replay, I'm gonna be a bad guy. The first time I was always good, super honorable. Never did anything. Now I want to see what kind of bounty I can get. If I can go through the game and complete it, and get like $1,000 bounty, $5,000 bounty. I want to see if I can do that. It's really hard. Is there an achievement for that for like having a super high bounty? You know, there probably is, but I didn't think of one. Maybe we could think of one. Want it dead or alive, something like that. There probably is a bounty though. Or an achievement, excuse me. Six years ago, me would know the answer to that, but I do not know that. Well, I have a couple of questions for you guys about this game. In terms of like, what did you find most memorable? Or if you were going to tell somebody who's not played this game much, or who's going to go back and play it, would you say what really drew you into it? Well, what drew me into it and what is memorable to me are a little different. Because what drew me into it was they nailed the feeling of a Western movie. And I would love, I feel like Josh, I know you enjoy watching Westerns, right? I do, I just, I watch 310 to Yuma, Unforgiven, and Young Guns 1 and 2 because I went back and played this game. I've watched four movies deliberately because I played this game again recently. Well, I would love to see Rockstar do a Grand Theft Horse style game set in feudal Japan because there's so many parallels between Westerns and Samurai films. Like, I mean, they're just kind of the same genre, just with a different kind of paint on them. So I would love to see them like go that way and do like this really, this really cool, like Kurosawa style game, like even like you could have a mode where it's like, you can play the game in black and white. Oh, that's awesome. Like, I think if anybody could make a compelling game for that, it would be it would be Rockstar, just based on Red Dead Redemption alone. So that's what drew me in was just that they, like from the beginning, I was like, oh, they get it. Like, this isn't, this isn't just like, oh, well, no one's done a Western game. And I feel like we can make a lot of money if we do a Western game. It was like, oh, shit, these people love Westerns. So that's what hooked me. And then what I find the most memorable, oddly enough, is the multiplayer. Because I played through this game, single player, and not a single time. It is, or it was, fucking amazing. It is the closest thing that I have ever played to UO since UO, because it was just like, just hopping a game. All right, let's kill people. There's people like, just try to do the quest. And it's like, I can just roll up, but it's bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. Oh, cool. He's dead. What is the next guy? And then what's great is, like, once that happens, I don't know how it works in the new Grand Theft Auto. Because like, I know there's, you know, if you guys can ramp it PVP. Brian gave me his computer to play it one time, but... I like it. I like it a lot. I like it a lot. For a new dumb and dumber references. Yeah, it's classic. But man, that PVP was so much fun, because it was like one. And sometimes, I mean, 90% of the time it was me who was starting the shit. But like, that 10% of time, like, when someone else would, it was great. Because the game all of a sudden shifted. Because it's all based on these, like, really loose alliances, where it's like, let's knock out these quests, let's do this thing. And people are kind of working together with a feeling of like, is this guy going to kill me? Like, is this guy going to try to kill me? That's perfectly Western. That's the kind that every bad guy gang has is that they're all thieves. Yeah. And it's like, are they going to stick together? Are they going to turn on each other, you know? They break themselves with their own tools. They fucking nailed it, man. And it's great because when one person turns, all of a sudden forget all the other objectives. Everybody tries to kill that guy. That's what I want and run away. That's, oh my god, that's awesome. That is so much fun. Being the guy who's like everyone's trying to kill. And it's just like, just trying, because you have to be like wily. You have to like rely on this really like, low cunning, just to survive as long as you can. I think that's really, really fun. One thing that I found the second time through that I didn't really explore enough were the caves. And there's like nothing to find in there. Like, that's not where most of the treasure is if you're a treasure hunter. But if somebody's chasing you and you can, and you can duck into a cave as long as you're not outnumbered or you can shoot faster, you've got dead eye, man, it'll save you no matter what. And I had never, I'd never noticed that, but that's a total bad guy thing. Like, oh, you got a posse after me? Fine. Go to caves. How about this? How about we run into the desert here? You keep coming, keep coming, keep all of a sudden boom. I disappeared and I'm going to kill all you guys. I can see you and you can't see me. And if you corner me, you're going to burn. Yeah. Tyler, I talked a whole shitload. And you didn't get to tell us what is most memorable for you. Yeah, go for it. I guess after, after playing this game, and I did, I loved it. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I never played before or after. I've never played at Grand Theft Auto. It's only, it's only been this game. So this is like a standalone experience. It's a standalone for me. Oh, don't play Grand Theft Auto. If you love this. I mean, because Brian really wants to play Grand Theft Auto 5. And I might do that someday. But yeah. You get double lap dances in Grand Theft Auto 5. And you can't do that in red dead production. Just say it, just say it. If fresher to me that I couldn't fuck hookers, but I understand it. I understand why you can't fuck a hooker and get it. It's an illusion of choice anyway. I'm more fresher than you just couldn't be with. What's her name, McFarland? Yeah, but she seems very sweet. It's fine. The farmer girl. Yeah. Yeah, I know. That's terrible. The whole, the whole thing is. But what, it's really strange. What stands out to me the most that I've taken out and I still use, I learned from Red Dead Redemption and still use to this day, is the game Liars Dice. Yeah, Liars Dice. Ah, that's awesome. I love that game. That's easily my favorite game. That's one of my questions for you is, what are the side games that you guys like? I love that one. In all my D&D games, I'll usually introduce Noribo who is a god of gambling and fate. And what he will do is wager like, in D&D terms, you can like wager feats for other feats, or wager character traits. Things about your character, you can gamble them for additional traits and make them stronger, or what or something like that. That's what Noribo does. And in order to do that, they will sometimes will play high-card low-card or just roll dice. Or what I really enjoy doing is playing Liars Dice. And playing Liars Dice as Noribo is fun, because if I'm playing this goofy, bombastic character, I'm very, very hard to read as trying to play as Noribo. So it's always fun in game to do that. And Liars Dice has proved, I had never heard of it beforehand before playing this game. It's a lot more fun than the god I've got in my D&D game, Nabisco. Snack, crackers. I mean, people love him. He's an alpha god. He's an alpha god. He's an alpha god. What's his domain? Treasing crackers. Silly costumes. Oh, so you can crawl in Lorethian, okay. Yes. Commercialism. Food engineering. But I guess in-game, I'm jumping ahead and spoilers. I guess I don't know how much we're going to say about spoilers about this game. It is pretty old, but... If you don't know how it ends. Stop now. Can't stop me, because you do honestly, like, oh, you owe yourself. If you enjoy video games, you owe yourself to at least check this game out. I have a couple things to talk about the ending too. So are we going to talk about that? Is that what you're going, Tyler? Yes. Okay. Let's do it. Listeners, tune out if you don't want to hear. So last chance, spoilers. Here you go. We got your download. Doesn't matter. But the... At the quote-unquote, "in," not quite, but the death of John Marston. Yes. It's good. It's good. It's very, very good. It's very well done. And how they pass the mantle on. I think that's really interesting too. See, because that, I wish it would have just ended with that death. Do you? And that'd be it. And then, like, another sequel called, like, Red Dead Revenge. And then that'd be its own standalone game. Yes. Yes. That would have been cool. I totally agree. I totally agree, especially because the... His name is John Marston, but he's called Jack. And I think that's okay. But he just... He's feckless. That's the word. He doesn't have the fight. I have no backstory. I don't know why he's upset. Yeah, because the thing is what, after John dies, it does a cut away to, like, 15 years in the future, maybe. And then you are his disillusioned, angry son. Right. Which, I love that. Because that's, like, I feel like that's another western thing. Because, like, his son, like, his father was gunned down. And it's, like, now he has to redeem his family. So, like... That's true. I just don't like Jack because he's not tough. He's always been this kind of, you know, John could never quite whip him into shape. He doesn't have that edge that John does. He looks like a pedophile. He does? Well, yeah, he does. I mean, he does color like a pedophile, right? He's got the worst. I mean, and it's not... It's okay. You know, I don't pick on facial hair. I shouldn't. Because you get what you get. Yeah. I was dealt beforehand. It's not up to you. So, I don't want to pick on that. But Marston has a great beard with the scars. And, Tyler, you've never given the Marston beard. But it's distinguishable. You know, because it's got its stubble, it's, you know, it's rough, it's edgy. It's a beard that's seeing some shit. Yes. And the scars through it just make it very distinguishable. And so he's so tough. I just don't think Jack could possibly live into it. What's the worst thing that's happened to Jack? He can't rope a horse. He can't, you know, he's never done anything except seeing his dad get killed. Well, what did it for me was like, I loved that. Oh, that's kind of loose. So he's never done anything except seeing his dad murdered. It's like Josh, Josh Nance complaining about Fable. You think you get called a murderer if you kill one person. The person you could kill. Well, I loved it because when I played this game as John, I wanted to stay in character. So I played him, I played him pretty good. Wanting to do the right thing to save his family. So, but the whole time, I was like, God, I want to do these bad things. I really like, I see these opportunities to do these bad things. And I'm having to like, stave off that temptation because I'm playing John. I'm playing him like a character. I'm playing a character. Stranger two, you are getting right at the heart of the I know you stranger, which is one of the, one of the things about this game that I think is, I don't want to interrupt you, just keep going. But I want to talk about that. So when I loved what I loved about the switch is when I get to play Jack, it's like, Oh shit, Jack's fucked up because he saw his dad die. And he's like mad at the world. He's young. He's like John back in the gang days. So it's like, all bets are off. I'm bad. I'm doing all the bad things that I wanted to do earlier in the game because I feel like I have a motivation to do that. This world has fucked me over and now I'm going to fuck it back. So that was fun. I really, really liked that because normally in games like Mass Effect and stuff like that, I feel like, well, I got one shot at this. It's like, I got to choose good or bad. It's not like I don't have the option to like, Oh, go back and like, oh, yeah, unless I start the game over again. I guess the only thing like. That's a really good point, Dave. Sorry. Sorry. I mean, there's a point to being good in this game. Like people will greet you, you get better prices at shops and shit like that. But other than like, if you're evil, like it's just, I guess the game's sort of more difficult. But also, I guess you could say the reward for being evil is it's more fun because I guess you need to do whatever the fuck you want. But at the same time, I wish there was like a deeper incentive for playing as a bad character. Yeah, that's that's a good point. I mean, and that might be something like because the game is six years old, like maybe they didn't really anticipate this kind of replayability. But and well, we haven't even talked about undead nightmare, which seems to totally be just about, hey, play our game again. Guess what zombies? Oh man, this game did really well. That is popular. Let's put zombies in the fucking west. Let's do that. You know, they did it in Pride and Prejudice. Fuck it. Let's do it here. So, so I get it. I get that. And I'll be honest, the undead nightmare. I've not played a lot of it because every time I play it, it's late at night. The lights are off and I scare myself. I mean, I'll come running for a man like, okay, I can't do it. I can't do it. I can't I'm too alone right now. I can't do this. I can't do this. I have to play it in daytime. Josh, I need you to play a game called amnesia in the dark with head set on. Oh man. Oh man, I probably will do that. Please stream it. I'll give you the tadpog credentials on Twitch. You can log in and just do it. Yeah, you just want Wilhelm screams. That's the name of the stream. Wilhelm screams. Well, the Wilhelm scream, by the way, is in the game and is a Western thing. Yeah. First, you're current in Western. You're right. So that's that's that's this part of it. I love that. Yeah, I mean, well, what do you guys think about? Okay, so when I first played this. And I was I was I was at seminary. So I was a Braddock Lee there, right Tyler? You know where I was. Yeah, that place. And so I've got my TV in the living room there. And I would play the game out there. And my wife would be home. She's she's studying to be a priest. And so like, I'm shooting all these animals and I go and he skins them and he's like, Oh, what did you eat? Oh my goodness. I forgot about this. Oh, that's a messy one. Oh man, I forgot about the shit he would say. I think it was like that. Yeah. And I would do that. And Rebecca would just be like, God, what are you playing? Oh my God. It was this thing ever. All I should hear is like, my goodness. What are you doing? I love that you're telling this story. Because I had the same exact thing happen to me. Because I remember like I used to play on the television in the living room. And I remember at one point like all because I get on these weird, like obsessive kicks where it's like, Oh, I'm just going to kill animals and skin them for three hours. That's how you make money in the game. That's the easiest way to do it. I remember Nikki being like, what are you doing? And can you stop it? Because every time, like, oh man. And at one point, she's like, doesn't he get used to it at some point? I mean, seriously, I mean, I'm imagining my wife have these conversations like with Meg. Like I don't know about your husband, but mine is like obsessively killing animals. Do you think that's a sign? He's also watching a lot of Dexter. Animal Dexter. All the time, there's just blood on the screen all the time. What's wrong with my husband? So that leads me to what I think is the single best legal cheat in the game. And if you know what I'm talking about, stop me. But it's where you put your horse right on top of the dead animal. No, no, what is this? Oh my goodness. Oh, I'm about to save the game for you. Okay, so put the put your horse right on top of the dead animal and then get off. You know, press triangle get off and then say skin animal and like you do it. And it will happen immediately and you don't go through that whole. Oh motherfucker. You 30 seconds every animal you kill and you will just rack up wolf pelts. And rock antlers. And you don't ever have to see any of that stuff. So once I learn that, wife didn't say anything anymore. Look, did you like go to Google? How to turn off animals, get excited. Red Dead Redemption, a piece wife. Yeah, type into Google. I don't kill animals that will not help you. That actually leads you. Yeah, people will find you. But yeah, that's the best cheat in the game. Because you can kill anything you want and then you just run your horse to stand right on top of it. Now, it doesn't work for if you're going to be a survivalist. If you're going to do like the flowers and stuff, you'll still get the flower automation. But you won't get any of the skinning stuff if you're standing on top of the animal. And it also doesn't work for looting bodies. But if you can save yourself some time, especially with the big animals, like you kill a bear, you just stand over it and boom, try and go boom. You've got all the bear stuff and just run out. It's fine. It'll save you a lot of time. Fucking Cougars though, man. Oh my God. Oh, dude, I can't tell you like the most deaths in this game were from me on horseback trying to shoot a bird. And then all of a sudden, whoa, I'm off the horse. And there's a fucking Cougars. You're just dead. Yeah, just dead. Yep. So I'm just like just riding my horse, then suddenly dad. Like, oh, I saved 45 minutes ago. Great. That's awesome. That's fantastic. I can't wait to go back there and redo all of this. But that also is part of the, as much as I hate that, I've come to learn to play with it because the environment in this world is really solid. Like the shadows, they're all, they all work. Um, if you hear something, if you hear dogs, if you hear horses, if you hear gunshots, they're near you, you can find them. And like the sunrise and the sunset, um, the only thing that doesn't seem to matter is weather. It never impacts anything that you do. But everything else seems to work together. And like when you hear that Cougar, or you hear the wolves howling, or you hear the dogs barking, if you're on the horse, it's like, well, am I going to stay here? Am I going to get ambushed? And, and you can run away just based on sound. I don't think I can name another game where the sound was so important or so well done, that I felt like it was in that space. And I knew which way to go based on what I heard. Have you seen, uh, the video of the blind guy beating, uh, Ocarina of Time, based solely on the sounds? Uh, that's amazing. It took him years, but like he constantly used like, uh, Navi to like the, hey, listen, and like where Navi witnessed up like that, helped him navigate and move, and then like based on where, how he would hit his sword, he had to find doors. Wow. And things like that. It was, that's cool. It was pretty interesting. That is awesome. That's, but that, because he plays with two large stereo speakers on either side. So then he knows what direction Emmys are coming from and where to go. Oh, wow. And it was awesome. She's dare double. Essentially. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. That's it. And that's, that's really incredible. It says a lot about, well, a bit about him, but also about like what they put into sound design to make it feel like you're in that environment. Because one problem with stereo is that you can overemphasize and it can be overly realistic in the sense that you just, you know, you turn left or right. And it's really kind of just off center in front of you. Yeah. So like, what, like, is, is the, I think get a problem with Ganon. Like you just said, like, there's so much sound. So what's going on with Ganon? The only, his only lifeline was be able to hear Zelda's footsteps. And that could like lead him to his sword and lead him around. That's amazing. That's really amazing. I mean, I love, I'm an audio file. I love sound stuff. So that's, that's super cool. I'm going to look that up. That's really, I assume, Dave, this is where you say it'll be in the show notes. At tadbug.com. I already typed it in along with, um, girls kissing. I'm going to see if that's a subreddit. I hope it is. I mean, if no, we can, we can make it, I guess. You and I just dress up like girls, because each other take photos. Yeah. Man, we found these two slots willing to make. Check these, check these girls out. What do you include on a beard to throw people off? They're hot, right? Right. They're hot. They're hot though, right? They're passively hot. You get some of the outrage this game caused when it first came out. I don't vote. Over the character Irish being culturally insensitive. I just played that. Look, it was Irish, Welsh, and Scottish. All three were racially insensitive. Welsh and German. I saw it. I didn't give a shit. No, I didn't either. Man, that's crazy. It's just like the Irish guy being super, a super drunk asshole. And there was, there was, there was outrage about it initially. Just played it. All three of them were exactly this. Where's, I, I'm waiting for the Welsh outrage. Do the Welsh get angry about anything? Make a statement at all. I've never said, I've never heard anything. Yeah, and they're way drunk. I mean, shit, you want to talk about beer drinkers? Aren't hobbits like based on Welshmen there? There's my culture. You know, it didn't, it didn't allow me that much. I didn't, I didn't give a shit. You know, I am, I am Irish. And I just like, huh, okay. Well, I mean, it's like, in a Western movie, that's how he would be depicted. Yeah. So it's tough because then it's also like, well, how about the other, how about other races? How would they be depicted? You know what I mean? So it's like, I get, I guess I get it. But it's like, at the same time, I don't know. They did a terrible job. They just, they, in terms of Westerns, like they lumped all Indians together instead of separating the groups or tribes. Cause not all of them were angry. Some of them were very peaceful and were not as nomadic. And so like, you get, you get all of that. But like, if the Irish are upset about how they're treated, in the Western video game. Man, this is a bigger conversation. We don't, we don't, there's a lot more to talk about. Irish privilege. Grand Theft Ellis Island is a totally different game. And then you're Jonathan McTurlahy and you're battling the American force that's fine. That base in Turley in the tidbit that John Turley told me that if his family came over from, from Ireland, they went from a Turley to Turley on Ellis Olin, because the guy who took it didn't know how to spell it. You just threw the mic in there, just for, yeah. It's just for good measure. Yeah, he had to know his Irish. It's got the brook. This game has some of the best glitches in it. Like the, and like just eerie, eerie glitches. And I've seen a few of them and they're fucking terrifying. They're a lot more terrifying than any of like the undead nightmare stuff. When you see like a human skin texture, just like thrown on a fucking cougar or something, it's like, oh my god, no. 'Cause I think you've ever told me about like the man horse? Yes, the man horse. That'll be in the show and that's the tab. I got to come. But do not fucking click on it, 'cause it will give you nightmare of my promise. It's true. I mean, I just can't think of a game that's had this kind of resonance with me in the last, you know, 10 years. This is one of those that I'd have to put up there. You'd say like, all right, yeah, you're talking about like your Bioshock kind of game or something that just allows you to keep living in the world even after you've beat the game. I want, well, I guess I'll make it a question. Do you guys want a sequel to this game? And if you did, what would you want to see in that? Well, I told you what I wanted mine to be, but right, right. Yeah, I hear peering rumors of sequels. Yeah. Bring it up, yeah. That wouldn't surprise me, I mean, as well as it was received and as much as it sold. I mean, I would love to see a sequel, but honestly, like I'm going to go back to my like feudal Japan thing. I would like to see something. That would be pretty cool. Similar, but different. True, last Samurai, but like live in that time period in place. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think there's like a wealth of a Welsh of... [LAUGHING] [INTERPOSING VOICES] Yo. How about you, Josh? Would you like to see a sequel? I would, and I don't want it to be Jack. And that gets me to this, you guys know of the alternate ending. Like, what if John doesn't die? Do you guys know this? No. Oh, shit. Okay. Oh my God. Okay, so I have an achievement in the game. Josh is a whole shit and ends the Skype call. Yeah, not friends anymore. But I'm done, I'm out. And it's the wiki, it's gone. I just learned it because I played the ending straight. And so, all right, spoilers. If you don't want spoilers, check out for like like 90 seconds. Ah, it's Josh. It's like probably 300 seconds. [LAUGHING] So you get the little, you know, he slaps his horse. And by the way, his wife Abigail looks strangely like Bonnie. So she does. Yeah, and I like both of them. So he slaps the horse and Jack and Abigail run away. The horse gets scared, you know, runs off. And he says, "I love you." And she says, "I love you." And you know, it's the last time they're going to say that. And you get this, so that's all in this animation. He goes and he looks out the door and it's like 20, 30, maybe 35 people standing out there ready to just blast him. And so this is your young guns. Spoilers for young guns, if you haven't seen it. At the end, they have a shootout in the house. So that's what this is. So what are you going to do? You're going to walk out there and do that. And so I just seem like, oh, that's what you do. So he looks out the door. He sees all those people. You go out there and you immediately go into dead eye. And it's as many people as you can kill. And I killed seven. And then the other like 20 something just cut me down. And you die. And then all of a sudden you're Jack. And you come back and you see your John Mars. And you see him dead there in the blood, right? But there's an alternate ending. And I call this achievement, if you can figure it out. Brave, brave Sir Robin. Oh, God. Oh, God. I know how you unlock it. That's it. That's it. What is it, Dave? You want to call it? You just fucking run away from the fight? That's the whole ending. When Danger reared inside the head, he bravely turned his tail and fled. And you just you look out the door and you see all them and you're like, yeah, fuck that. He hits the horse and Abigail and Jack run off. And you're just like, fuck it, I'm going to run out the door. And you just die tail it toward the hills and run away. And that's it. The game ends. Like, you get a cinematic or anything? Yeah, yeah. You can look it up. I post I put a link on the Tadpog on the Facebook page to the alternate ending if you do this. So the listeners can see it. But yeah, you just run away. And he's like, well, that was close. And then they all just leave. And that's it. You hear the shouts of a dying woman and child? Did no one circle around back? Well, shit. Nobody is in the back door. That's exactly it. Nobody is behind the house. They're all in front of the house. So if you just run away, John lives. That's it. End of game. Okay. It's pretty good. Does he take? Does he just go by himself or? Okay, I haven't played that out. I've only been playing the Jack one. So I only did that one time on one of my save slots. So I haven't played out what happens with John. But Edgar Ross just like shakes his head and walks away. And then you just play on. And you have still have all your stuff. You still have everything. So here's my question. If you're going to make a sequel to Red Dead Redemption, you're going to go with Jack or John. No, either. I'm going to go with Irish. It's a really difficult game. The controls are all sloppy. Undead Dutch. Or no, as the law man, just doing paperwork. I'd like to see it as you're playing man horse. It's called Red Dead Tape. And it's just a bureaucracy simulator. Isn't that like papers, please? Oh God, man, papers, please. I haven't played it yet. I've heard it. I mean, I've wanted to because I heard the episode. Oh, I love that game. Yeah, no, it is good. To everyone that in Tyler, I've seen you playing that on Steam. This is over like last like six months. So I don't want to make it sound like that's what you've been playing. My sister-in-law played it for a while at Christmas. But two other moments I remember now that I really enjoyed. I remember the first time you get behind the minigun. And I love that. And then riding into Mexico for the first time. Feel particularly epic. Everything in Mexico I loved in the game. It was really cool thinking about the shootout in the main city there. Like that is amazing. And I could have played that a thousand times differently. You know, doing something different each time. And having a bounty in Mexico is also really fun. See, I haven't had that because I always played the good guy the first time. So this time I'm going to do that. I'm not there yet. Also, five of the nine treasures are in Mexico. I forgot about the treasures, honestly. I don't know why you're talking about it. Those are so hard, yeah. Did you guys catch any of the four horsemen or the four horses of the apocalypse? Yeah, I love that. I think I got one. That is so cool. Which one did you get? I want to say I got famine. Yeah, I think I got plague. I got plague. Oh, let's see. I know, because I feel like the game does like want you to play Marston Good because of the advantages. Plus you get rewarded twice as much for not killing people. If you go about any hundred, you get twice as much for training them in a live. And you get more fame in gunfights or in duels. If you shoot the gun at their hand, you're supposed to kill him. Right, which I love because it's like, I feel like you should be rewarded more because doing it that way is so much more difficult. Bringing in a live bounty is fucking frustrating sometimes, because they obviously do not want to be taken in. And it's like at any moment that any chance they get to escape, they're going to fucking try to escape. They fall off your horse and they run away tied up. And how frustrating is it? Has this ever happened to you where you're like riding in the town with a bounty? And then all of a sudden, the fucking cougar pops out and it's like, oh my god, then it's just chaos. Because the bounty is like, oh, we're trying to like run away, tied up. And then all of a sudden you see like a coyote going after, but fuck, what do I do? Well, the worst part is like it's often not a monetary benefit to bring him in a live. Like you could make that much money playing Liars dice. Sure. If you've got two or three other players. So like, you don't care if they die. You're just trying to not kill them. So when the cougar takes down your horse. Yeah. And one little thing I want to say about undead nightmare, which I thought it was a cool idea, but zombies rushing you. And this game has basically no melee. No melee. They made it like there was like at one point I had to. Remember I just stood on like a shed where they couldn't shoot me and just like stood there for a long time until they gathered around me and then I would try to throw something and run off or whatever. But it was so, so frustrating. It's like, I see what you did here and it didn't work. It was very fun for me all the time. I didn't finish it. It was like, oh, this is fun. This is a fun thing, but I'm not super, I'm not, I'm not super into it. Like I was the main, the main story. Yeah. Yeah, it also did scare me and I didn't, I mean, I realized I was like, it's all dead eye. You've got to, you've got to kill as many as you can as fast as you can. So all your dead eye benefits. That's what you need for the undead nightmare. And I wasn't really into that as much. I mostly just wanted to turn it off and watch something funny on TV. So I wasn't scared. I have one last story slash anecdote and my notes about Red Dead Redemption. Okay. A guy I know was a voice actor and Red Dead Redemption. Really? And he, yes, he's not like a major. One character who has a farm on like the western side of the map. Yeah. That's all he does, very minor character. But I remember hearing about that, I thought, you know, it was cool. But I am much closer friends with a girl who is his jilted ex. So when this game came out, we were all playing it. And she came over and then I just happened to be in that location or something. Well, she came, she came over and then my friend MJ brought it up. And then she was like, she's like, yeah, I heard about that blah, blah. And he was like, okay, so he takes the controller. He knows where it is. He goes, finds it, saves, and then just kills him. And as a multiple, like as many fucked up ways as possible, kills all his livestock, burns everything down. And she has like the most gleeful look on her face the whole time this is going on. So she was just like covering her face. And like, but she was like barely contained this like psychotic happy laughter. Like, oh, can you make him say he regrets all his life decisions? Can you make him say he loves me and I shut the game off? Hold on, hold on, hold on. I got to eat the cat. Wait a minute, wait a minute. [laughter] Wow, that's epic. Yeah. See, this game gives you that kind of opportunity. I think we all want that in the game. I agree. The ability to shoot our exes several thousand times if necessary. Tyler. Yes, Dave. Had a lot of fun today. Had a lot of fun today talking about Red Dead Redemption with you and Time Lord Josh Edwards. Before we close it out, there are a couple questions that you're probably used to at this point. Maybe not. The first of which being if you were to give this game a beard that sums up how you feel about it, I feel like Josh Edwards gave you a really, really good suggestion earlier. Sorry. I don't know, maybe. Maybe you don't want to use that. [laughter] But if you were to give it a beard, what kind of beard would you give it? I would give this Humphrey Bogart beard from the Treasure of the Sierra Madre. What? Okay, I'm not familiar with that. Pranked by Rotten Tomatoes is the best westerner of all time. Wow. Well, I will watch that. I will as well. Because I never even heard of it because I am a what I-- It's like, yeah, 1949, something like that. Okay. Gold. Number two-- That was on the short list of movies that Rebecca and I were going to watch. Old movies we were going to watch. That was one of them. We haven't watched them yet. I think number two was like the good, the bad, and the ugly. Yeah, and it's such a good-- that's such a good western. Uh-huh, uh-huh. I do love that. That was like-- that's a formative kind of film for me. Because I remember-- like, that's like the first-- I think that's the first movie that I actually had a bonding moment with my dad. Because like, that one is like-- It's kind of nice, yeah. That is-- so that one's like always got like-- That's a special movie to me. Yeah, yeah. It's got a heart every time. Yep. Before I ask you the next question, Tyler, I'm going to throw a curveball in. What's your favorite western? Three Migos. Three Migos? That's a valid and very good answer. Yeah. That was also in my notes. I was thinking about asking you. So I'm glad you did it. That one was locked in the barely-- I know, you're ready. You dead-eyed me. You're what? I haven't seen a lot of westerns. But I didn't really love Three Migos. Josh, do you have a favorite? My current favorite is Three Tender Yuma. Because in the tradition of Good Westerns, it's got two stories to tell. There's this good and evil thing. But it's also set in this time period. And I love that. I watched it twice in the last week. And I just love that movie. It's a great movie. I also loved Unforgiven. I'm going to cheat and give you like five westerns. Perfect. Yeah, Unforgiven, also a fantastic western. My dad was big into the Clint Eastwood series early on. So good to bad the ugly. That's like definitely on. And then you know what was really fun? Was Django Unchained because it was a twist on a guy by a guy who really knew westerns. And so all the twists were tied into what you traditionally expected. And they gave you something else. And I liked all of that. Despite-- I fucking love that. Despite the good, the bad, and the ugly being. I mean, I feel like that has to be my favorite just because of the personal connection that I've got because of that movie. I really, really love once upon a time in the west. Like that. I think it's an overlooked western. I'll probably watch it tonight. And that is, man, that is an amazing one. Because you don't see a lot of westerns that are set in the early 1900s. Right. And this is-- So it's like you see-- Yeah, like really early cars even. I think it's set in 1912. It's a transitional phase. And that's part of the movie is exactly-- Exactly. And it's like big on the railroad. It's an amazing movie. I love it. I think that's what Young Guns 2 was trying to do in some ways. Like keeping the spirit of Billy the Kid alive in the '50s. Yeah, I haven't seen Young Guns 2. Oh, it's not a great movie. But it's-- But it's a movie. It's good in the sense that if you enjoyed the original Young Guns and you liked-- and you liked that they were trying to give you some historical accuracy with Hollywood sensationalism. And you liked-- and you liked that-- those characters. Then Young Guns 2 sort of gets into some of the what happened with Billy the Kid. And Young Guns 2 airs on the side of-- we don't know. We think he might have got away. And if he did, this is what it might look like. And that's fun. But if you're into that, it's just continuing the Young Guns flavor. And there are some funny lines. I wouldn't put it in top Westerns. It's just piggybacking. I also really like Westerns. I like horror movies that are set in the Western-- like where they kind of meld the Western genre with it. Cabelers, aliens. Cabelers versus aliens. Yeah. How do we not bring up Wild Wild West? The whole time we've done this. That's the sequel to Red Dead I want to see. Like with a robot. With a giant mechanical spider. We voice act it, obviously. And I mean, just so no one gets mad. I've never seen it, but I have to mention Tombstone. That's always one people always mention. Josh and I were just talking about Tombstone last night. Yeah, and Tombstone is one of those movies that I really liked the first time I saw it. And every time I've seen it since, I like it a little bit less. I know. I'm the same way. It does not age well. No, I like to bring up Deadwood. I have never seen Deadwood. Yeah, I haven't watched it. I feel like it's a failing in my moral character. I bet you thought I was going to say Maverick with Mel Gibson, didn't you? Hey, man, I've actually seen that one. So, behind three of me goes as Maverick. We're with Kenny Rogers. We're watching all four of them. And then made for TV movies. And then what is it? Like, quickly, quickly goes west. Quickly down under. Quickly down under with Tom Selleck. I think that counts. I know what you're talking about. Oh, it's a good mustache. City slickers? City slickers, anyone? City slickers, too. The clothes for Curly's gold. City slickers is actually, I'm going to fight for city slickers. I would say they knew what a western was. But they put city slickers in it. Okay. I know I love cities. I haven't seen it since I was a kid, but I loved city slickers. It's actually good. It's actually really good. It's a good movie. And Filled of All will go to bat till he's dead and tell you it's one of the best movies you can ever see. Of Second Breakfast Bot Gas. Yes. Link in the show notes. Yeah, that's right. If you were going to do any crossovers, a western crossover might be interesting. If you like westerns, they could probably talk a lot about that. And I guarantee you Filled of All would go to bat for city slickers and three amigos and he will swing until he's dead. Well, three amigos is amazing. It's an amazing movie. It's just an amazing movie. It is. It's really good. Back when Chevy Chase meant something. Yeah, before everybody hated him. Let's not. Yeah, let's not. I can't, I can't, I can't talk about Chevy Chase guys. It's true. I was having a good time. I got this, I got this pair of glasses here though, Dave. Tyler, what kind of glasses do you have? If you would give this game a pair of glasses. Since I had to give it a pair of glasses. I'm giving it two clone bodies of Hugh Glass. And Hugh Glass is the frontiersman that the Revenant was based off of. Have you seen the Revenant? Yes. Is it good? It's great, huh? No. No, I haven't seen it. It's a softball lob to finally give Leo an Oscar. It's okay. Yeah. It's not amazing. Everything revolves around that character. And everything that happens to him is fucking awful. For like three hours. Okay. Yeah. My favorite part of the Oscars was when Chris Rock remade the trailers and substituted Leslie for the bear in the Revenant. Leslie Jones from Sarah S&L. I love Leslie Jones. Her SNL with Peter Dinklage was so good. Oh god, that was so good. How was she as the bear? So good. Yeah, she's the bear. She's like, "Get out of here." And she's like, "Yeah, I just fucking lost it. I just lost it." That was good. That was good. Also, the Revenant was three hours longer than it needed to be. Could have been 15 minutes. A guy gets mauled by a bear sundive. This guy goes kill guy who killed son. Done. Oscar. I've been home and I've started watching the Ken Burns, the West series, which if you really just want to sit there and look at landscapes, watch Ken Burns. And that's what I've done. And they finally got to Hugh Glass. It's taken four hours and I was like, "God, even they don't treat it as long as the Revenant did. The Hugh Glass section is pretty small." And that's insane a lot. Because that's Ken Burns. That's right, that's right. Exactly right. Ken Burns can gloss over it. So can you. That's all I got. That's all I got. That's all I got on Red Dead Redemption. Josh, do you have any closing thoughts on it? I have a couple of questions for you guys, not related to Red Dead Redemption. I also wasn't sure if you guys had any achievements. It had achievements on it. So I didn't do them. Oh, okay. I had a couple. I don't need to talk about them. Please. No, you took the time to write them. You should read them. Well, I told you one. The Brave Braves are robbing. That's alternate ending. Yotsie win five games at Liars Dice. I'll make you famous win 10 straight duels. And then Smores, which is where you hog-tie someone and light them on fire. Oh, I don't know how we got through this whole thing without talking about hog-tying a woman and putting her on the train tracks. Sadly, we're Plash style. Yeah, because that does unlock an achievement. It does. Also, project one runway. And that's if you get all of the outfits. I have unrelated questions that I'm curious if you wanted to answer. Oh, they're big. Nice question. These are not related to Red Dead Redemption. This is totally, you know, bonus material. Worst tits. In the game? No. Just period? No, they did period. I'm going to give you answers. You're going to have to pick one. The most disappointing ones for me was, I loved Terry Reid. Man, yeah, you're right. But that was like a switch in my mind when I saw them. It was like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Someone did you wrong, girl. A botch, badly botch job. Yeah. Well, this is just a mini gauntlet. This is what I do with Second Breakfast. And I send them these kinds of questions. I know. I love your gauntlets on that show. Well, thank you. I love hearing you mentioned on there. I heard you mentioned on the last episode of "Hops and Heroes," too. Yeah, yeah, that's right. All right, so here you go. Are you ready? Just a couple of questions. I want to hear Tyler's worst tits. I'm trying to think of her name. Oh, all right, all right, right. Let me give you options and you pick. Oh, this is multiple choice. Oops, I just picked up. Okay. It's all right, it's all right, it's all right. Worst tits. Penny from Big Bang. So that's Kaylee Quocco. Okay. Katie Perry. Janet Jameson. I don't know. There's only one that I've really seen. Janet Jameson. Yeah, right. That's what I would say, too. But I've seen those. Like in full, like I know what those look like. I kind of just like, I know what portions of the others look like. And I have to like kind of construct it in my mind. Like the second Death Star. Yeah, it's like not fully complete. But it's like, oh, I bet they're really good. See, so follow up question. Do you think it's because you haven't seen them fully? Now you've made them perfect. Congratulations, Josh. You know me. I think I've seen, you see enough like up shots or nipslips of the other two. I know their nipples are not what I prefer or they're closer to what I prefer. Have there been nipslips of either those two? Please tell me yes. I really quote go. I think they're like topless beat shots of her somewhere. Show me. Also, show notes, Dave, that we need to. I'm on it. Okay. But now Jim Jameson, I was disappointed. I had never watched her porn before. Like till she got huge. And then I was like, I checked it out. And I was like, oh, eh. Okay. Okay. Okay. Not my thing. All comparable thought thought maybe that would be okay. I do agree with you though, honestly. And I do honestly think that my answer is because I haven't seen the other two or the other four. Sorry. I went to Bonnaroo one year and we were keeping a list of like, marking down all the tits we've seen and mine ended with fits. I love this game. It was an odd number. It was an odd number. I love this game. That's another story. It's another story anyway. What else you got, Josh? All right. All right. Which Seth would you most want to get drunk with? Seth Rogan, Seth McFarland, or Seth Green? Seth Green. That was my dark horse. I am going to go. I'm going to go Seth Rogan because I feel like that would lead into other things that I'd like to do with Seth Rogan. Oral whatever. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I've given them bathroom massage. All right, all right, all right, all right. Another one. Worst voice, Barry White, Jeremy Irons, or James Earl Jones. Oh, man. Why are you going to make this so hard? That's the point. They're all really good. What was the first one again? Barry White. Barry White, Jeremy Irons, or James Earl Jones. Barry White. That's what I'm going. I'm going Barry White too. Same. Electric Boogaloo. But I just, I can't betray James Earl Jones, Jeremy Irons. Holy shit, man. That's like his voice speaks for itself. But I'm just... He can't move on. Just tell James Earl Jones. He can't move on. Oh, wow. Yeah, you put that in perspective for me. All right. So yeah, I'm going Barry White as well. Okay. Okay. We're all agreed. I don't have two questions left. Okay. Okay. One more multiple choice and one open answer. Worst vagina. Oh, you're close. You're so close. You're so close. Yo, close. You have no way to do this. So, worst butt hole. Worst butt hole, yeah. Very close. Worst back vagina. All right. All right. All right. All right. Best shoulders. Chris Hemsworth. Oh, you went that way with it. There's two questions left. So I'll do your right. Chris Hemsworth. Henry Cavill. Anyone in a Batman suit. Chris Hemsworth. Okay. I saw him recently on SNL. So I can't say Chris Hemsworth. Because they do this whole... I'm tired. I'm sure you've seen it when they do this. But they're like... I can't remember the name of the cast member who... Like it plays his twin on this like Disney channel. Terrain Kilham. Yeah. We're twin. Well, you know I said he has those masculine shoulders and his belly doesn't protrude out. Is it like little sweat stains on him? So I can't say Chris Hemsworth. Anyone in a Batman suit? I'm going to... That's what I'm going with. Because of Adam West. All right. Oh, that's nice. That's a... Look, I love Adam West. I do... Andrew Clooney. I mean, I love Adam West. But I love Adam West. Man, I was not in shape. Zach Round is a shape. Yeah, you're right. What I love about superheroes, like TV shows where it's like... Oh, and I watched like the old... When I was a kid and I watched old Superman. Even as a kid, I was like... Man, did they not know what a strong person looked like? Yeah, there was something about the like... I think my dad could take it. Yeah, exactly. Like, did this pass as strong in the 1950s? It was pre-high fructose corn syrup and pre-steroids. Yeah. And things, I think, divided the country. It was Adam West, or Jack Lillane. And Jack Lillane was very busy. So... What you're saying, Josh, was that it was pre-Hot Bodies. Right. Yeah, right. It's with dad bod for the strongest. Dad bod for the strongest. I mean, I wish we could bring that back. It came back for a little while. My god. Hot Bodies was the first... No, Hard Bodies. Hot Bodies. Hard Bodies was the first, like, HBO movies that I saw. That had boobs in it. It wasn't poor keys like me. Hard, I think, was Hard Bodies. I think that's what it's called. Show notes. Look it up. Hard Bodies. I think there's a thing. I think there's, like, sunscreen on some woman's tummy. I think that's, like, her tummy. I said tummy. I know. I want to cut that out and sell it on iTunes as a ringtone. Josh Edwards saying, "Tummy." So, Josh Nance also... That's his go-to word for it as well, so it's fine. Speaking of show notes. Longest show notes in Tadbogg history, I feel like we've got right now. All right. I have one more question if you guys are game. Yes. And this is an ended. There's no... It's not multiple choice. You just get to say your answer. And I will not be responding. So, this is a woody weather. Okay. Pre, you know, the early Lord, Micah. Stevenon exalted Lord Mike's toes. I guess. I think he stopped. Okay. So, and this was close to what you asked or said earlier, Dave. But the question is, the J.J. you most want to see. Does this have to be celebrity? Can I choose in like a... She's anybody. Can I choose someone I know? We don't know where you have to explain that. No, I'm not doing that. Or you can go celebrity. I have a short list. But you guys go ahead. Just wide open ended there. Spread eagle. But J.J. you most want to see. Oh, I thought it was going to be a woody rather vagina. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm just saying that I won't answer. That's the way it is. Oh, got you. So, you're not going to eat the spam. You're going to bring the spam. So, Lord, Micah style, you're also going to eat the spam. Thank you guys. Squid and a can. I'm not eating that. Helen Mirren. Wow, interesting choice. Yes. That is. Boy, you do love the golden girls, don't you? Why? Or Mother Tracik, because no one else has seen it. Okay, okay. So, maybe the only one. Here's my thing. You're an archeologist of a vagina? Yep. I'll just adjust them off and see you. There's something there. Okay. It's been extremely rare that I've seen a vagina like even like an adult films or anything like that where I've been like, oh my God, look at that. Beautiful vagina. But the opposite has definitely happened a million times where it's like, oh my God, what is wrong with that? So, what I guess what I'm saying is like, I'm not a visual connoisseur of vaginas. As long as they look okay, as long as they look healthy, you know, I'm good. So, I don't really, it's weird. I spend a lot more time thinking about boobs and tummies than I do. Then I do vajay jays. Or at least looking at them. So, I guess I'd have to go with... Tummies. Okay, so here's the thing. I kind of want to say, I kind of want to say Jennifer Connolly, but I feel like I'm worried I would be like, I'm worried that I'd be disappointed because... So, I don't know, but I guess that's my answer. I guess it is. It's okay. I feel like I'm setting myself up for disappointment, though, because like... No, I'm sure it's fine. She's not a young woman anymore. That's all right. That's all right. I'm sure that's gotten a lot of... There could just be a curiosity component to it. Totally fine. Yeah, a lot of packages have been shifting that box, I think. Maybe. Yes, yes. All right, so I made a list of free people that I thought one of you would say. Oh, shit. Do you hear that motorcycle outside, or whatever that is? That's our new trainee. So, here's the list, Dave. Do you want to hear this? I do. More than anything. Jennifer Lawrence. I limited myself to Jennifer's. Jennifer Lawrence? That's Josh, for sure. Yeah, I do. Jennifer Lawrence. Jennifer Garner and Jennifer Connolly. Oh, man, you got one. You hit my last one. My last one was like, "Gah, Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer Connolly." Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm more interested in seeing other... Oh, the way Jennifer Tilly before any, though. Jennifer Tilly. I'm going for just using all Jennifer's. Oh, man. Well, you should have been here to make my list, dammit. I tried, I always text you. I need to know some vaginas. You've never seen anything. People talk about dick pics. Nobody's talking about the Vijayjay pics. Nobody's, they're getting no love. No, I don't know. Well, no one's really getting that. Like, I don't know. I'm not going to get one of those and be like, "Oh, what a bitch." You know, it's a different thing. I was sent one of those one time by accident. No, because I did not know the person. It was a random text that I got where it was just like... It took like three seconds to be like, "What is it?" "Oh, oh, wow. That does not look good at all." And so, like, my text back was... You may want to get that checked out. The text back was, "Who's is this, Paul?" I enjoyed your gauntlet. What did you think before you realized what it was? What were some of the options? I didn't know, because it was just like, "I've never been sent something like that." That's the reality I live in, where no one's just sending me photos of their body parts. So, it was one of those where it was like, "Ooh, ooh, that's not good." Could you show this to your doctor? Could you put it in the show notes? Excuse me, miss. I got to get back to words with friends. Can you please stop sending me your gross vagina? Got a word for you. Unflattering. Triple word score. Triple letter on the F. So... Well, thanks for listening, everybody. You can find the show on Tadpog. You can find it on Tadpog. You can. On iTunes, SoundCloud, and Stitcher. So, I missed the next episode. We're going to be a Tadpog about an SNES game. That's the... We're doing that for Monday, right? Are we doing this for Monday? I think we should do this for Monday. Okay, all right. So, there's a little behind the curtains. Yeah. We don't communicate, ever. We don't know. We don't know. Well, I had a game in mind I wanted to do, but then it turns out like, I want to play more of it. So, now we need to switch it up a little bit. It's a good problem now. You know, we do love consistently, though. It's five-star iTunes reviews. So, please go to iTunes, find Tadpog, subscribe, give the show a five-star rating, write a review, and there's a guest host you want on a show, or a game you want us to do, or a Patreon request, whatever it is, whatever you put it in there. We promise. We'll get to that eventually. Don't worry, guys. Like Tyler said, we're going to be back. We're going to be talking about something. Tyler's played something I haven't. I've just done nothing. Actually, do you have a few things to say? I've been playing some tiny things that I like to mention. So, come back. Come back for my tiny things. Days, tiny things, podcast. Here's a list of things that I realize are tiny, guys. Bacteria, viruses, micro-reachines. We've done days, pictures. Sprinkles. The one peg lego pieces. So impossible to get off once they're on. In the meantime, you can always find us at tadpog.com. That's where the show notes live. I want to see the longest list of show notes we've ever done. You want to see what it looks like for me to hunt down links for two hours and put them in a show notes. Go find them on the site. I'm the time lord. This is what I do to you. Yeah, you're a harsh, you're a harsh time lord. You're a dark time lord. You're like when someone really pisses tenant off and he vanishes them to some kind of living hell. You can also find us on facebook.com/tagpog. There's a lot of cool people there doing a lot of cool shit. That's right. Hey, I tell you what, here's your challenge. Hop on there and let us know how Josh did today. Just be completely honest. Just be completely honest. Savagley brutal in your honesty. Yeah, be savagely positive. Save an intro story. Don't hold any positivity back. Just let it go. It's a little fly like Peter North after a week of abstinence. Just let it go. Yeah, yeah. Good show. Good is crossed out. You can also go sign us on Twitter. We're @tagpog gooders goodbye guys. It's cumbersome. I realize, hey, thank you to everybody who retweets us. I appreciate it. Hey, do you have some extra time on Twitter? Check out Terrible Fan Art. I think that's what it's called. Man, that is a great account. I'm not sure if I am allowed to tell you who created that account because he's fearful for his job and his livelihood. But check it out. There's some really, really hilarious, Garfield drawings that have in the three hours that this has been a Twitter account has garnered more attention than Tadpog has in three years. So it's got to be pretty good. It's not even close. Dave, do you know the account on Twitter? I think it's Terrible Fan Art, right? Is that it? Yes, you can find it at Terrible Fan Art or at Bobcast Picasso. Oh, right, I forgot. Oh, that's what that was. Okay, yeah. There will be a link to that in the show notes because we fucked all kinds of things up. I assume there will. Longest show notes ever. You know what else you can do? If you want to call us, you can call us at 270-883-255-5. And leave us a voicemail. We'll get to that eventually. And you can also text that number. And if you do, I promise I'll fuck it up on an upcoming episode. Lastly, we do have a Patreon that we publish bonus episodes exclusively for Patreon donors. And I will say, Tyler, I don't know if you've got any feedback on the "Everyone I John" episode. I have had overwhelmingly positive feedback. It's fantastic. I have never received as much positive feedback on an episode than I have for "Everyone Loves John." Master of Coin, Ryan Walter. That was amazing messages. I mean, he had some really good things to say. People who hadn't talked to me in a while were like, "Hey, that was a really good thing." Dad, you know what, son? You know what? You know what's not really nearly as good as "Cool Hand Luke" or "The Good to Bend the ugly." Are that Terrible fucking show you do on the internet? (laughing) However, everyone in this "John," that's pretty good. That's pretty good. You are in a quarter of a hug. Shake my hand. Yeah. Don't linger. A firm grasp, two pumps, and we're done. Nice bathroom massage. Thanks, Daddy. You can... There's two fingers. Yeah. If you want those bonus episodes, which, trust me, you do. You can just chip in a buck, and that'll get you access to pretty much everything. Everything that you've missed in Tadpog, which are the bonus episodes. They're there. So, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you very much to those who donate. Who donate? That's the little thing I do. A scat. That's the little scat improv I'm working on. And if you want to send us anything for intros, or to have us try, whatever, we love it. It helps us out. Please. Please, and thank you. Please say anything to Tadpog Studios, care of Nicole Nance, PL Box 3785, Duke and Tucky 42002. Yeah. And we also have an Instagram at Tadpog_podcast. I try to put something different up there every day. Vagina Picks. Vagina Picks. A lot of Vagina Picks. Right, right, right. Can we do a set where we just tuck our stuff between our legs and take photos of them? Yep. Picnic baskets, yep. Yeah, picnic baskets? Where you tuck it down, and then bend over so you can see it on the other side. Fruit basket. Fruit basket, thank you. They gave basket as the healing out of an earthbound. Picnic baskets, when you make a fruit basket, but you're in a yogi bear mask. The picnic basket. Hey, Josh, what's our theme song? Your theme song is moves by Sycamore Drive. Where can the lead to that track be found? You can find it in the show notes at Tadpog.com. Nice. Good job. How would you have to close this out? I think we should do Marston impressions. Okay. All right. Unless you guys have another idea? No, it's perfect. All right, I've been trying this for like a week. I can't do it. It's suck. So until next time. Drop, drop a little Capricorn. I couldn't remember what he sounded like, so did Ma for Telly from the Goonies. Is that okay? Is that acceptable? I think that's who it was based on. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. I read that somewhere. It's perfect. It's perfect. It's perfect. Granted, this is Ryan's house. So he like gets to be in his underwear, but I've seen Ryan in his underwear more than anybody. I don't think I could do that. I mean, I will walk around the house in my underwear, but if anybody comes over, I'll put on clothes. No matter what, I would. I always wear a shirt, but generally I like pajama pants. Let's take our shirts off. Let's take our shirts off. Yeah, that'll be wonderful. But I love that I was thinking about it the other day, and it's like, dude, I have, like this is no joke. I have seen Ryan in his underwear more than I've seen my dad. It has underwear. Ryan is like Axel Heck from the middle, where he's just perpetually just inboxers and nothing else around the house. I love it. I love it. I do. I mean, I wish I could be that guy like my dad. Me too. Like, yeah, I just like, ah, fuck it. I don't care. I guess I haven't reached that stage of middle age. I'm sure Ryan hasn't either. He's just, I guess, you know. He's just not fat. Yeah, he's still living. It makes a difference. Those of it, yeah. He's tall and thin, so it's fine. Oh, okay. Yeah, no one's like, that's creepy. He wants to keep walking by mirrors. What's an acceptable looking person doing with no shirt on him? [Laughter]