Jacob of Wolf Fighting Fame and Axtress Galen sit down with us to talk about Katawa Shoujo, a romantic visual novel set in a high school for the disabled. Creaky Poots makes his debut. We eat the super sour plums from Japan. We debate who we like better Jennifer Love Hewitt or Sarah Michelle Gellar. Most importantly, Jacob does an impression of Jasmine getting it in the church basement.
TADPOG: Tyler and Dave Play Old Games
Ep. 300 – Katawa Shoujo
Hi there, listener. You're about to experience Tadpog, Tyler and Dave played games, and there will be plenty of game talk. But also, copious amounts of crude, off-color, offensive, and immature speech. So if you are of a rather sensitive, humor constitution, or just letting you know what you're in for with this show, it has games. It has jokes. You know, just games and jokes. Take the games, take the jokes, and have a good time. Hello Internet, welcome to another Tadpog podcast. It's a show about Chris Creeks and other sounds that we're trying to eliminate, but- You pooted, it's okay. No, you don't try to cover it up. We all heard it. Two guys just beaten. Yeah. Just got me my old Crikey Boots, what they call me. Yeah. Well, I'm trying to add that to my names, Dry Tubs, Tyrone, Crikey Boots. Crikey Boots. Aww. That is sweet. That is kind of a sweet game. I think that one might stick. Great. Talk about old games. Today, we teased it. Today is episode 300. Air horn. We made it be good by episode 100. Didn't even mention episode 200, so now we're making a big deal by episode 300. Is that how that went? What did we do for 100? We didn't fail at maths at 100. No, that was much earlier on. Yeah. Because we talked about doing Fallout 3 because of Vault 101. But we did something, I can't remember what we did. That'll either. But we talked about it. 101 was like our first 100 retrospective or something like that. Sure. So today- I'm on it. I'll tell you guys what it is in five minutes. I see that downcast logo. It has been internet. Has yours been slow to load and stuff, or is that just my ancient phone? Now that downcast has been kind of weird. No, mine's been fine. Yeah, I just got to upgrade y'all. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Eventually. Yeah. Phones are expensive. Yep. Damn right. But today, episode 300, I'm very excited. I've mentioned doing this for a long time. You have. That's happening. You have. With two people who I think are perfect to do it with. I agree. Jacob and Galen. Hey. Someone's up guys. Hey guys. So good. What up? Just me and creaky boots hanging out in the room. Yeah. I'm starting this one off a house of fire right now. We are all looking across the room. It's like all of us looking fucking exhausted. Well, and there's something- There's an everybody's dreading what's on the table here. Is it terrifying? Yeah. Elephant in the room. I don't even know how to describe what that looks like. For the record, episode 200 was a Bomberman 64. I've gotten- That's our big bull out there. I don't think we even talked about it being 200, like at all. Yeah. I'm still looking. Okay. Well, let me explain what this thing is in front of us. This food for us to try. It looks like meat. It looks like raw meat. That's how you know it's good. Doesn't it? That looks like raw meat. I think it looks like old tomatoes. A whole tomatoes. Yeah. To me, it looks like- The hydrated tomatoes. Yeah. In persimmons that fell from the tree and they're about to- Exactly. What? Yeah. In a headwig in the angry inch, where Hedwig's mom is cutting up tomatoes and she throws some at his face. That's what it looks like to me. I know that that's kind of a deep specific cut. It is very specific. A bunch of what I thought of. A bunch of just a box of genitals on the table. Yeah. Is that what that thing is about? Headwig? Seen it. The angry inch? Yeah. I didn't see that either. Is that the sequel? It's good. Lufia 2. Okay. Lufia 2 was 100, so I don't know if you guys made a big deal out of that either. I don't think we've ever made it. I think we mentioned it. But yeah, we did it. Here we are. Three hundreds are where it's at around here. Three hundred is. That's- True. I feel like we've mentioned it way too much. Already. That's too much of a build up. Anyway, Hedwig in the angry inch is one of my favorite movies. Yeah. I think it's wonderful. I think it's beautiful. I think it's a meditation on loneliness and what it takes to belong and stuff like that. And it's a musical. And there are songs in it. Yeah. I love it. No, it's a musical. There aren't songs in it. It's a musical. Well, he was trying to sell it to me. I feel like we had a lot to do with this word. And the angry inch makes me cringe so hard every time I think about it. Yeah. Oh yeah. Wait, why? It's about a botched surgery. All right. That's what the angry inch is in reference to. Got you. Yeah. Okay. Well, Germany. Jacob has reclined. I'm gonna try and make this work. All right. He is adjusting the microphone. This might be a good thing to cut out. Maybe because we're all trying to get comfortable here to record. You look adorable now. Feeling pretty good. I just want to put my dicks on your head. Well, that'd be okay. We're friends. Like a dick beret. We've been friends long enough. I can accept that. What? How long is that? How much longer do I have to wait? No, we're there. We're fine. You and Tyrone are there because you guys hang out more often. But we still have six months of solid hanging out left. Well, thank you. We've been friends since we've been friends for 14 years now, Dave. So we're there. It's good. It doesn't feel like it. It does not feel like it's been 14 years. No, it doesn't. That's actually kind of depressing. That life has gone that quickly. Yeah, not that we've been friends like that. Just that. Yes, exactly. I went with you to Paris, Tennessee when you turned 21 to buy alcohol. I know. I know. I know. That was a long guess. You want to talk about two old guys? We're making... Me too. Me too. I'm there. Yeah. We're making anybody who is older than us feel really, really bad. Sorry, Ian. Ian accepts his lot. He's a sage. He's past the boy and where he's old now. He's just like now. He's just wise. There's an old man talking on a stump. Everybody come listen. Got a lot to say. All right. Let's eat this fucking bullshit. Yep. So my brother is a big fan of... No, let's keep stalling. Please. I don't want to listen. We got it. If we're going to do it, let's do it. No, I don't want to eat this. I thought I did. I don't want to lie. I never see it. I never did. It's okay, guys. We have Tim Hortons donuts to wash it down. Well, I'm not going to eat Tim Hortons donut for an hour after I eat this, because I know that that's not going to taste good with... But I've never had a Tim Hortons donut. I know. I should have that instead of the stuff that's not hot. None of us have ever had Tim Hortons. None of us are Canadian. I don't want that. I don't want that angry at y'all. I ate a whole dozen of us by myself when I went to Ann Arbor, Michigan from Tim Hortons. Oh, not Tim Hortons. I thought for a second, you were like, I had a dozen of these sour bullshit plums. Can you not tell him inside out? My brother is a big fan of Rhett and Link, and they do a lot of like food tasting shows. And for one, they did a show where they ate like a Carolina Reaper and a lot of spicy foods. And there was, there's no like, there's the Scoville scale for heat, but there's not anything for sour. So they just wanted to take a variety of sour foods and try to make their own ranking system. And according to, I guess the internet, this is the most sour food in the world. Like they ate this candy called Toxic Waste, which is the most sour artificial food in the world. And this beats it. So this is the embossy sour plum that Ryan spent 20 bucks and had these Japanese plums shipped to us to eat. Oh man. Hey, side note, do you think that there's a small town somewhere called Scoville? And they're all just about spicy foods. They're kind of kooky. Like the way our metropolis across the river is all about Superman. Like that's what their town subsists on. Like it's a town out of an RPG where it's like, oh, welcome to Scoville. We'll sell you. Do you want to get toasty? Exactly. They all look like Guy Fieri. They're like black button up, like flaming, it was on the bottom. I don't know what you guys are. But I want to go. Welcome to Scoville. I want to go. That he didn't actually create it. And they were like, oh, oh, tourism, tourism. We got it. We got it. The blonde goatee capital of the world. Or what do you call the piece of hair under your lip? Soul patch. Soul patch. Like, I mean, I mean, this is a Soul patch, right? But what is it like? No, this is a Soul patch. This is a Soul patch. All right. This is just straight up. So brown goatee blonde Soul patch. So I've got four forks. Oh my god. Remember that time we renamed Waynesboro to Scoville just for the tourism money. And Wayne was pissed. Paul and Shannon are narrowly missed out on being the ones that got dang it. Touch the whole ad. And I hate eating. Oh, you're going to open it. I can smell these fuckers already. I'm going to crack this open. Everybody grab a fork. These look like tiny. I feel like one of us has to eat it first. No, I think we'd all do it at the same time. I think if we all do it at the same time, it's just going to be like a wash of sound. Yeah, you probably feel like one person. Maybe we should do it one at a time. But I feel like if one of us does it, we all have to do it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Dave, like some of us can't make an awful reaction than everybody else bail. No, I'm not going to bail. I will go first. All right, all right. I don't want to do this. Pick which one your bravery is. I have no idea. Yeah, we don't. We don't want anyone here. You're not a mushroom fork fork. No, it's just like when Tom Green picked up that cat. Oh, my gosh. All right, I'm going to eat now. Do you need the whole thing? You're giving the whole fucking thing in your mouth? I'm going to put this whole fucking thing in my mouth. I'm going to do this one. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. That's all I'm making agreement before you go doing something rash. I don't think I would have put all those fuckers on now. One plum at a time. Half a half a plum. I think that's at each of our discretion. I think-- Because I'm going to split one of those motherfuckers. That is huge. Yeah, I think the biggest one, I'm going to eat all of it. All right, here we go. The omboshi, omboshi, omboshi. I'm honestly really worried about Tyrone taking this like a champ and then looking like a total pussy. I'm definitely going to look like-- I'm going to fight it. No matter what it is, I'm going to make it look like a smelling. I like sour stuff. Not as much as like hot stuff. So I see how this goes. You can get the hiccup burps. You just like-- I don't know what happens when I eat something that sour. Yeah, I do. Vomit, vomit, vomit. It has to-- Yeah, it has a stem or something in it. Oh, see. God, he's not even flinching. Yeah, I know. He's kind of a monster. It is not as bad as I expected. But it is sour, yeah. It is very sour. Yeah, I can tell from your expression. All right, Jacob. But are you aware of this? The texture is awful. See, that's what I'm not. I-- look at that. That is gross. It is going to fall off your fork, Jacob. It looks like a fucking butthole. Hey, Galen. Now, watch your butthole. Yeah. The monster on it is your butthole. Galen, you and me want to go to the doctor. Probably. Probably. All right. Oh, god. Oh, what the camera will see? Do it. I don't want to do this. Do it. Oh, Jacob's going to hate this most of all. Yeah. Why is everyone doing a whole one? You're driving me crazy. I'll take the scene. What do you think? How you doing, buddy? Oh, man, that is awful. Oh, my god. Not just sour, but awful. It tastes bad. Yes. It's not-- Tyrone's right that the sourness is not the worst part about it, that it is a bad taste. It's the worst part about it. Like vinegar. Yeah. Like that. It's pickled. That, to me, is that it just smells-- It is pickled. These are pickled. Like vinegar. OK, here we go. It's like this-- Oh, look. That was immediate. Oh, that was immediate. I mean, it's kind of like why capitalism doesn't make sense. Oh, my god. I can't. I can't. I can't. Get rid of it. Gavon wants to run away, but she has headphones on. No. Bring me a towel, please. Oh, my god. All right, so I've got to eat one of these now. That was cool. Yeah. I'm glad that Galen had a big reaction. I needed that. Uh, I can't tell if this is going to be a super sour one. Yeah, I wonder if I need to eat one that's really crinkly. One that looks like a hot ball sack. Eat them all, man. Oh, man, this does not smell good. See? No one sniffed it. No, I just had to do it. Describe the bouquet. It smells like balls. No, I didn't. The drink. No. B-A-W-L-S. B-A-W-L-S. That's what it smells like. Oh, it's about the drip. Well, Bob. Right. Hello, Bob. Did you bring me a towel? Okay, here's the ten-fog challenge. We talk like that with one in the middle of our mouth. Be a bit tired of welcome to episode 300. You hate listening to it as much as we hate doing it. Well, it's longer. We just can't say this if a masochism is great. Okay, I'll... Go, Glove. It's very gross. You were right. I'm going to eat a more wrinkly one. Jesus Christ, man. I want to see yourself. I want to know if I'm getting Max potency sour. I will say I'm like... Are you eating another one? He's eating another one. Oh, my God. I will say, I think that a lot of it is not that sour. No, it's not the sourness. That's why I want to eat a more wrinkly one to see of more sour. To me, it just tasted like apple cider vinegar. Yeah, yeah. It wasn't the taste for me. It felt like, I don't know, cold flesh in my mouth. I did not like that. The taste was bad. The texture was bad. It's just bad. It's not particularly... Sour. I don't know. When I spit it out in the toilet there, it looks like it looks like a really disgusting turd. Take it out. I definitely flushed that down the toilet. I was not having it. Is it a smaller, more wrinkly one? Way worse. Way more sour? Just worse tasting. Both. Both. Ryan, I spit one of his palms out in your toilet. I spit one out too. I couldn't know. That was horrendous. Yeah, no. The sourness. It's just... I don't think it's a sourness. The one I just ate was... I mean, that was pretty fucking sour. I made me gag twice. I had to fight that one to get that one down. Yeah. There was no... I knew if I tried to swallow it, it was gonna like, like rubber band up and down my esophagus. I'm not even remotely close to being a picky eater. I am... Texture doesn't bother me. Nothing bothers me. And I didn't even get it all the way in my mouth. Oh, Jacob, did Jacob try it? Yeah, Jacob ate it. Jacob ate it. It's just gross. It wasn't like... It wasn't like, oh my god, this is... I can't handle it. It's not like eating a ghost pepper or something like that. But it wasn't the sourness that bothered me, 'cause I like sour food. And I agree with you, Tyler. I don't think it was that sour. But it's like the best texture. I knew I could not swallow that. Yeah. Like, if I would have tried to get that down my throat, I would have thrown it. It can be one of those donuts. I do think this... I can see where this is the most sour natural food... Yeah. That there is. I can believe that wholeheartedly. I believe that, yeah. I wouldn't know. What do they taste like, uh, not pickle? That's a question. Stretch off the tree. 'Cause I don't think that is more sour than the Japanese candies that Chandra sent us. The ones that wore down my jaw... The loose ones. But my jaw skin. So... Yeah, I should have one of those. I'm gonna try... Don't eat this one. It's Tim Horton's donut. Mm-hmm. I am eating a Tim Horton's... Mm-hmm. You tricked me out. Maple. Uh, maple. You haven't earned that. Canadian maple. You haven't earned that. Eat a plum. Mm-hmm. All the more I'm gonna take this for work tomorrow. At least put it in the mouth. Mm-hmm. Oh. I'm gonna just get to see that all those Indians try to eat those. Yeah. That would be pretty funny. Mm-hmm. From India. Katelyn. [laughter] I'm gonna always be nervous. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I'm gonna save that. There's donut, right? I got a little bit of a taste. Pretty good donut. Tim Horton's does good donuts. Like, I wasn't blown away when I had one, but it is a quality donut. Mm-hmm. It's not like a crispy cream fresh out of the oven. Right. That is still the best. The pinnacle of donuts. Like, I agree. Guys, those plums are really bad. No, no, no, no. Even this donut is getting like a raise up from my own. I'm telling you. I'm just waiting on the donut. The donut has more vibe to me. But I feel like it's a point of pride to have eaten one of these, though. Yeah, I think so. Kind of like the one of the grossest things I've ever eaten was when I worked at Asia Teak, and we had, what, pig, spine, and blood stew. Ooh, that is not a thing I would want to eat. And it was like, that was the thing. Like, I remember the guy who was interning there before me told me he was like, "When they want you to eat something, just eat it. I don't care what it is, how gross it is. Roll with it. They'll respect you for it, and you'll do a lot better if you just do it." So, like, I never, like, a lot of people brought in like windies and shit. Like, I made sure I had family meal with them, whatever they were eating every day that I worked. Windy's pig spines really no good though. Yeah, their blood, their blood is terrible. It's so, so warm. See ya. Thanks. And like, the pig's blood came in like, what looked like a sausage casing, and then they would just slice up this congealed blood and throw it into the stew. Yeah. Oh, it's congealed. Mm-hmm. Yikes. That makes it so much worse. Oh, wow. The meat and, like, the spied and the marrow and things like that, that was good. But, like, the soup portion, it's like soup that tastes like you bit your tongue. Oh, gross. Yep. So, yeah. The thing they were most impressed that I always ate, probably in a higher quantity than they did, were bean sprouts. I love bean sprouts. Really? And that's why then, like, the chef de cuisine was like, I think you were Asian in a former life. I think so, too. Is that what you said? Yep. That's the last thing I said to him before I killed him. Mm-hmm. Plus, I know you will be. I did well because I'm left-handed, and they love left-handed people. Like, are you like you? The owner and the chef de cuisine are both left-handed, and that kitchen is geared out for left-handed people. Mm-hmm. Everyone is born right-handed, only the greatest overcomment. I have a magnet that says that. Gas one. Gas one talking about. Oh, no, no. Actually, I think we have a quiz to take first. Whoo! Whoo! That was too loud. That was great. Because spoilers, I think I'm the one who like this game. No, it's perfect. So, I mean, you know, I have thoughts about it. How would we know we haven't discussed it yet? It's true. On a valid point. Okay. Try to trick me. All right. Jacob, you can't look. All right, not looking. So, after, after Galen did her wonderful mashup Monday of Wonderwall and Champagne Supernova. Mm-hmm. I was like. Free me. Yes. You're it? So, we need, I was like, "Let's take a 90s music quiz, and we'll just see." So, this is for everybody. I think you guys will probably kill it combined. I hope so. All right. I can't imagine a music quiz of the three of you together would not do well on. I'm not super. Jacob's, Galen, I don't know how your musical prowess is. I know Jacob's is. Jacob's is. We'll see. Pretty comprehensive. I feel like that, remember that show on Comedy Central, like Beat the Nerds or whatever? Yeah. I feel like, like Jacob, you have a lot of areas of nerddom that you're good in, but I feel like if you were one of those, you would be the music nerd. Oh, yeah. Totally. Yeah, but this is like, I worry about this because it's, the 90s were a long time ago at this point. Yeah. You've probably forgotten a lot of it. We'll see. Tyler and I have been friends way before the 90s. All right. So, number one, the band OMC had a big hit in the 90s with a song called How Bizarre. What does OMC stand for? Oh, Magic Crystals. Well, there are options. Okay. Oh, okay. God. I was like, is one of them original MCs, because that's kind of what I like. It's the lead singer's initials. Oh, boy. Our Minds Center. It's the first letter of each member, band members last name, or Otara Millionaire's Club. Our Minds Center, for some reason, stands out to me. I do not know why. See, for me, the Otara Millionaire's Glail, I'm going to go with Dave. I'm going to go with our Minds Center. Center vote. Two, three. All right. I have to submit all the answers. I will say what we get it immediately. I hope this is one of those bullshit quizzes. I didn't realize it was until just now. I hate the ones that tell you your score at the end, but then do not tell you what the answers were. Oh my God. Those are not worth taking. Of the following, which was not a Spice Girl. Cutey? Cutey. Here you go. Done. Yep. The second best selling album of the entire decade of the 90s was a movie soundtrack. What was the movie? The Bodyguard. That is one of the, that is one of the answers. So click the Bodyguard. What were the other options? I'm with you on the Bodyguard. Is Titanic not on there? Titanic is on there. It's the Bodyguard. It's the Bodyguard. Forest Gump and the Lion King are the other, the other. Those are all like good options, I feel like. The Galen was like super confident that it was right on it. Unless it's the Bodyguard is number one, and Titanic is number two. It's the Bodyguard. Okay. I'm with you. Which of the following band/artist has put out three of the top ten best selling albums of the 90s? Backstreet Boys, Metallica, Garth Brooks, Celine Dion. Garth Brooks. Ooh. It's my guess. Can you, what are they again? Backstreet Boys, Metallica, Garth Brooks, Celine Dion. It wouldn't be Backstreet Boys because they were eight days. No, they went into the 2000s. Yeah. Metallica, when did Loaded and Reloaded come out? Because those were huge. But were they top ten? That was like, I remember Loaded being like, "Metallica's back!" So I think Loaded probably was. I don't know if I reloaded. And I don't know what the third one. I don't even know what came after. I will say, I think Garth Brooks is a great answer. But I'm very torn between Garth and Celine. Celine Dion, huge. Very torn. But I also think that Celine Dion sold most of her sales in that decade off of the Titanic soundtrack. No, she was huge. I know that she was huge. But was she, I mean, I think it's probably Garth Brooks. I'm cool to go, Garth Brooks. I think it's probably Garth Brooks. But I wanted to err my... I totally understand. Australian Garth Brooks. Chris Gaines, you mean? What? Who asked the musical question, "What if God was one of us?" Was Jonah Osborn? Sarah McGalka? Sarah McLachlan, Cheryl Crowe. Jonah Osborn, Madonna. Yeah, Jonah Osborn. After Mother Love Bones, Singer died of an overdose, two of its more, two of its members formed the 90s most popular, let me read this whole thing over it. After Mother Love Bones, Singer died of an overdose, two of its members formed which of the 90s most popular bands, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Nirvana, Smashing Pumpkins, or Pearl Jam. Holy God, I feel like I should know this, but I do not. I have no idea. I also feel like I should know this. I do not know the answer to this. Red Hot Chili Peppers? I think three of those bands are very overrated. I think Chili Peppers makes a lot of sense because Anthony Quitas was a... was like kind of an actor beforehand, so they would need a singer. Yeah. So I'd be fine with going with Red Hot Chili Peppers. Yikes, it's tough though. What were the four again? Red Hot Chili Peppers, Nirvana, Smashing Pumpkins, Pearl Jam. To me, it's between Nirvana and Red Hot Chili Peppers, and I just think it would be such bad luck for them to have like... And now it leads to... Man, we're poor Dave Grohl. So yeah, I think Red Hot Chili Peppers makes sense to me. That's a guess, right, but I'm going with it. It is a guess, but I think it's an educated one. Released New Year's Eve of 1991, what was then of live's first album? Throw... oh, not throwing copper. Live throwing copper, mental jewelry, cerebral ornament. Mental jewelry. Was it really? Mental jewelry was... well, let me say this. Mental jewelry, I believe, was before throwing copper. Throwing copper was their second album. Okay. I hope I'm right, I could be wrong. Now I'm going to trust you on that. Which band had their biggest hit with the cover of an old Louis Primus swing hit? Which band had the biggest hit with the cover of old Louis Primus swing hit? Big Bad Voodoo Daddy, Mighty Mighty Boss Stones, Royal Crown Review, Brian Setzer Orchestra. I like Royal Crown Review. Royal Crown Review did a lot of covers. Brian Setzer Orchestraized because it wouldn't be boss towns. Why wouldn't it be boss towns? It wouldn't be boss towns because their biggest hit was an original. Is this okay? That's part of the question. This is all one of the biggest hits. Hey, it's boss towns. It's not boss stones. Okay. You know, it could be Big Bad Voodoo Daddy because it's the- I really don't know. Brian Setzer is the thing that's jumping out to me, but- Let's go, Brian Setzer, but I'm going to trust you. You're the music geek. Fuck, man. I have no clue. That's a gas for me. Like I said, the 90s were a long time ago. Puffy Daddy and the family's hit song "I'll Be Missing You" is a tribute to witch late rapper. And the Tory's B.I.T. Yeah, they- Everyone knows this. Tupac Sh- No Troy's B.I.G. Yes. Tupac Shaker, Old Dirty Bastard, or Easy E. It's Mickey. Which female singer-songwriter is from Alaska? Cheryl Crow, Jewel, Sarah McLaughlin, Alanis Morissette. I'm pretty sure it's Jewel. Jewel? Because she- Yeah. 'Cause she's a weirdo. I'm pretty sure it was her. Yeah, I agree. "Shanado Connor had a hit with a cover version of "Nothing Compares to You," who sang it originally. Prince. Prince Michael Jackson, Michael Steit, Madonna. Jacob Loves, Prince. Jacob. I trust him. That's Prince. Putting numbers on the board. I know that one. Prince has- Is the only artist who always turned down, say weirdo, could not parody any of his songs. Man. Insecure, do you think, or what? He was like, "Make your own art." Yeah, I think that he just thinks very highly of his work. Which, I get it. That makes sense, I guess. Yeah. The coolest motherfucker on the planet, so you can't- It's the second time you've called Prince the coolest motherfucker on the planet today. And this is a weird question. I don't think it really counts, but- How big are your dicks? [laughter] When you think of Grunge, what city comes to mind? Seattle. Seattle. Yep. We had a one hit wonder- Oh, I'm sorry. Who had a one hit wonder with a song that life is a highway? Crash test dummies. No. Cochran. Tom Cochran. Damn, dog. Oh, the bird pie or Edwin Collins. And I trust Jacob. Yeah. Which of the following is not a Dave Matthews song? Oh, we all got this, right? Everybody's ready. Ants marching. That's a song. That's definitely a song. Number 41. Oh, we- I think we'll come back to that. 1979. No, 1979. That's what- Tripping Billies. Yeah, it's 1979. Which is a smashing pump console. Yeah. Which of the following is not the name of a Celine Dion album from the '90s? Ooh, Galen. The names of the album, I don't know that all. The color of love, Tuesday night music club. Let's talk about love. Nah, it's- Tuesday night music club of Cheryl Crow. Cool. Falling into you. All right. 59 music club. Love Top. Get that, Bob. Yeah. No, that's Cheryl Crow. Get answers. Get answers, homie. OMC means Otara Millionaires. Oh, Jacob, you had it, man. QD is not a Spice Girl. The bodyguard is the best Celine album. Good job. Let's take a business album. Let's see. Garth Brooks has the three of the top ten. Nice, dude. Joan Osborn saying what I've got was one of us. Mother love bone singer dot of an overdose. That is Pearl Jam. Damn it. See, and I was thinking- I was thinking that they were throwing us off because Pearl Jam's original name. Anyone know that? Nope. Do not. Mookie Blalock. Which- Who was- Hey. NBA player. NBA player. Yeah. Let's see. They're banned after a person who was still alive, still like- That's confusing. Well, they changed it. Well, I'm glad that they- Yeah, well, we're going to make a band called Tom Gugliata, and it's going to be a band- Did you check the show notes? I didn't. Well, mental jewelry is live's first album. Brian Setch, orchestra, covered the- Oh, right. Wow. Prima album. Wow. Notorious B.I.G. I'll be missing you. Jewel lives in Alaska. Prince, nothing compares to you. Seattle is what you think about. Tom Cochran is life is a highway. 1979 is on the song, and Tuesday Night Music Club is not a Celine B on album. Oh, right. So we only missed two? Any guys that were pretty good. Two. Yeah. I'm pretty proud of us. I'm pretty proud of Jacob. I would have- I will say this, I absolutely would have guessed Titanic. If Galen had not been so confident- That was one of those- That was one of those things that I was like, I am more than 100% confident, but it's always when I'm more than 100% confident about something that I'm very wrong. Just so awesome. Well, it immediately came out. Yeah, it was like, oh, yeah, she's right. What's the Whitney Houston song that was on that? That was so huge. And that! Yeah. That was really- That was really good. Thanks. I'm a singer. Do you do the rest of it? No, just that's- That's a- Not even a bar. Uh-huh. Just that like- Quarter bar? Quarter note. Just the hard part. Just the one singular hard part. And I, that's it. That's like some kind of like ninja singing training or something. No. You need to sing these two notes for two years and then come back open if you're training. And you got to sing it in the correct key just immediately. That's all you do freshman year in the musical theater program that I went to, Webster University. Freshman year, all you do is practice getting those two notes in the right key. So that you may leap to the stars. Exactly. It's all about technique. But if you learn your technique so that you can play. Don't sweat the technique though. If you shoot for the moon though. You will land probably on the ground still because gravity. That takes a lot of speed. We speak of quotes that sound like that. Like I sent a message to Justin McElroy asking him to be on the show to do an episode about new gaming dads since our- His- Was that- Was that a matching pumpkins as originally called? Yep, Justin McElroy. So trying to be funny, that's why in my message I was like- So in reference, I'm inspired by all the quotes in my senior yearbook. Aim for the stars at least, or aim for the moon at least, if you miss, you'll be among the stars. So please do this. Who is Justin McElroy? He's on- It's unreal. Just a band name. But you like the one up podcast. He was on that. Oh. Okay. He was on joystick. Huh. Okay. Yeah, he was- He was joystick, wasn't he? So I'm- So I'm- So I'm baddie 0 for 3 for Justin McElroy, Bailey J. It's been a long time. I could be wrong. It's honestly- And they have been one up. Surprising to me that Bailey J has not agreed to like Skype in at this point. Yeah, on it like- Let me say this. I follow her on Twitter. Her Twitter's- She's really, really popular. Yeah, she's really popular. Yeah, but like for a, you know, porn, transgender porn actress- Maybe she thinks we don't actually adore. We're calling you out, Bailey J. I feel if she actually heard our show. Maybe she would. Like I know she's also a gamer. Maybe she would. Yeah. It's just surprising to me. Because like, you know- She has to get sure like that all the time. For two straight dudes that, you know, are not necessarily into that. Like you guys really approach Bailey J with a lot of respect for like- I'm glad we pricked you into thinking that we're not in. You know, we're not wrinkly into that. That's how you act, Jacob. I'm trapped. Okay. Yes, that's how they're said we to soften the, soften his portion. Wait, the two of us, Dave and I- You know how much we- Together. Dave and myself. John Turley and myself. I do like that brushing the teeth gift though. That's a good gift. It's a good gift. It gets me every time. I love it. I love showing that to people. Like when I showed Ramon that, man, it was the best. Because it was like, here you go. What is this? And it was like in a D&D session. And I heard like everyone over the mics, everyone clicked on the link. Don't worry about it. Just watch it. Tyler showed it to me. It'd be fine. They're like, yeah, yeah, all right. And even if you know what's coming, you always watch it completely. Oh, yeah. You never don't watch it. You don't back out. Yeah, you finish it. I bet Galen's never even seen it. I was trying to keep my face as neutral as possible. But no, I have no idea what you're talking about. All right. No clue. Bailey J was on, did an interview with Amy Schumer on Inside Amy Schumer? Really? And Megan and I were watching it. And that's the interview was over. Like I got back on my laptop and she was like, you looking her up? I was like, who, Bailey J? That was Bailey J. Yep. That's so funny. Dave, you hear that? Uh, Kricky Boots. I did hear some Kricky Boots. And uh... Wrong key. What? Yeah. Are you kidding me? I'm only going to read from Wikipedia if someone does it in the right key. And uh... I mean, that wasn't right key, but that was an octave down. No. Sorry. So good. I already did that. Do it for us. There we go. That's good. That's the train. I don't, I promise it's different to you. I hear that. I got you. I'm pretty sure that was a different key than what I did earlier. There is, there is some listener out there with Perfect Pitch who decided to quit listening. Oh, okay. Based off of that. I don't think- She calls herself a singer. I do hear that. Which of course ushers in a segment that we like to call, they read some on Wikipedia. Okay guys. Katawa Shoujo. Or as we like to call it, Katawa. Because there's a town in Western Kentucky nearby called Katawa. So Katawa Shoujo, or as it's known in Japan, Katawa Shoujo, which is a literal, literally translates to, are you ready? Yes. Cripple Girls. Oh man, how did I not know that? And I wanted to do that, do this game for the show, and I didn't even know that. Yeah. Cripple Girls. But that's very funny. Another translation would be "Disability Girls" is a Bishoujo-style visual novel by four leaf studios that tells a story of a young man and five young women living together in a house with no rules. The game uses a traditional text and sprite-based visual novel model with an ADV-style text box running on the Rinpy visual novel engine. Anyone know what it means? 'Cause I don't. Tyler, you're not a little bit. I'm not a shit on the Rinpy visual novel engine. Yeah. I know you have, don't play. You know, I said you a lot of articles about it. The fact that you haven't read that is, honestly. It's disrespectful. I'm gonna make that Bailey J versus Hintai on the Rinpy visual novel engine. Where she's, like, fucking tentacle monsters. Yeah! That's just like, oh no! Thank you, yes. So big! No. But they like it. Those tentacle monsters love it. The game is licensed under the Creative Commons, CCBYNCND. So there's that. That's cool. All right. The majority of the story, everybody, takes place at the fictional Yamaku High School for disabled children. Xavier's sister school. [laughter] I located in an unnamed city somewhere in modern northern Japan. How do you pronounce the main character's name? Is it Hisao? Oh, is it Hisao? Hisao? He said Hisao. Hisao? Hisao? Hisao? An able-bodied boy has his life changed when a long-dormant cardiac arrhythmia forces him to transfer to a new school after a long hospitalization. Despite his difficulties, Hisao has the opportunity to find friends and maybe a little love. Oh boy, howdy. The gameplay, I'm just going to go ahead and just read all of this. The gameplay of Katawa Shoujo is choice-based with the player reading through text and occasionally making decisions that initiate the possible events or dialogue within the story. Depending on the choices made by the player, the story branches into multiple forks, variously chronicling Hisao's deepening and eventual romantic relationship. Yeah. It's one of the five main female characters. Damn right. I thoroughly enjoyed this game. I know you're dead. This was a great- Yeah, I know. This was all I did in my biology 101 course. I took a community college that summer. You mentioned that you played this in class. Yep. There are titties in this game. Did you just not give a fuck? Sat in the back row with my laptop. Yeah, I would just like to say- I don't think I could have done that. Now granted, Jacob and I didn't finish the game. We got about two hours of gameplay. We started and got like, I guess, 45 minutes in. And then I kept expecting there to be a save point. But there was never a save point. You can just- Manually. Yeah, you manually do it. But I thought that it would auto save or something like that. And I clicked out of it and then came back to it the next day. And it did not save. So I had to start over again. So we played the first part twice. Yeah, we got into- I think eventually by the time we finished, we had gotten about- We had met everyone, I believe. Based on what we saw, I would say that calling this a choice-based game is really, I think that's a generous description. I think calling it a game is a generous description. We got to make- That's just a visual, a visual novel game for all our fans. We got to make two choices. And it was about what to say. I'm not a fan of the media. To me, it is, and because I have played Phoenix, right? Yeah. I know what these look like when they're good. I know what you can do to incorporate various elements to make it not just feel like you are reading a story. Yeah. Because that's what it felt like to me. Yeah. I mean, it's just reading up. Still images in text, which is- For a free game, I thought it looked good. Yeah, it looked okay. I mean, if this was 99 on Steam, I'd be- you're right, I'd be pissed. Yeah. But for a free game that people on Reddit were talking about, I was satisfied with it. The visuals were never an issue for me. Like, the art didn't bother me. I had a problem with it because it's like every background. Maybe just being a graphic designer. I was like, "Okay, watercolor filter." You just took a real photograph, and then just threw the watercolor filter over it, and wiped your hands, and hard day of work. Yeah. I mean, at least the characters were designed well, I thought. Yeah. There were, we noted, a lot of boobs. A lot of big boobs. A lot of big boobs. They weren't all big. No. They weren't all big. I think most of them were pretty big. Most of them were pretty big. What's comparatively, compared to what? Big, compared to what? Because I saw a lot of big boobs. Well, the girl that I wound up with did not have large breasts. I'm going to assume you end up with Emi. I did end up with Emi. Which one is she? She is the girl with no legs. Oscar Pistorius' girl. Who is just wearing underwear when you meet her. Yeah. She's like running a track short. Those are not track short. You guys have seen anime, right? The Dimby track shorts. In Japan. Apparently. Or at least in their cartoons. Emi is who I ended up with my first. Because I did one playthrough without looking at no fact, nothing. Just a straight playthrough. And each of the five girls has a good neutral and bad ending. And my first complete playthrough with no references was I got the bad ending with Emi. Yeah. And Emi is, I feel like here's where I will say something negative about the game. I feel like Emi is kind of a trap. Because you have to basically ignore your own health to not get on the Emi track. Because basically your decisions are presented to you in order. So you'll have to basically pick the option that allows you to pass up a girl in order to go on to the next one. And there is basically a point of no return where it looks at all the girls and how many pass with them. Whoever you have the most points with is who's track you're on. Like the date and final fantasy seven. Yep. Cool. So in order to not be on Emi's path. Like the doctor says, you need to strengthen your heart. You need to exercise. You should probably join track to be a really good thing for your health. So of course I'm thinking like, okay, yeah. Yeah, I want to live. I want to live. Yeah, yeah. And if you choose to do that, then you're automatically. Because Emi is the runner. Yeah. So then when you're on the track and she's ahead of you, you have the option like, catch up with Emi or lag behind. And like, so I thought like, no, I'm going to be healthy. You know, I don't get like anywhere I die. So I go after Emi automatically on her track. Yeah. So I want to say something about the game. That I think it handled well. Despite the literal translation being cripple girls, I honestly do think that the writing treated the people with disabilities with like extreme respect. Yes, you're right. Absolutely. I agree with that. And it was one of those things where I'm this, this was a point. Like I thought it was so, I thought that was so well done. And I could tell that they weren't like, this is a weird thing. You're going to have sex with weird girls. Yeah. Um, it was, they did that so well that I actually felt bad for not liking the game. Yeah. No, there was a point towards the beginning where when your character is introduced to the class, it points out that everyone in the class is clapping, except the person who only has one hand. Right. And then a minute later, it's like, oh, she clapped this time. She was hitting her hand against the stump of her wrist. I was like, oh my God, why is that? What? Why did you have to take the time to point out this person get clapped properly? Because, and that, that panorama of the class is sort of weird anyway. And I will say this too, that um, the thing that I disliked about this game the most is that I found his sound to be insufferable. I fucking hated him. Well, and that's what sucks about not being able to make decisions in this game, because I, I finished the game and honestly, I think I made seven decisions, maybe, maybe a little bit, mate, like it was definitely, I don't think it was above 10. I don't think I made above 10 decisions. And it took me, like it probably took me like seven hours. So I'm averaging like a decision an hour. There were moments where it's like, I don't want him to do this thing, that, that he's just doing, where it's like, oh, you're going to ruin your relationship. You done, you done ruined the relationship. There is every, every girl does have that like, they're all set up on a pattern because you will have the the meat cute and then like a very affectionate moment, some kind of climax that goes negatively, and then you make up and get whatever ending. Every, every girl follows that pattern. Yeah, it's, it's, I mean, it very much felt like, like a, like a rom-com almost, um, and like it's, it's formula. To me, it seemed very much like it was written by a high schooler, with a high schooler's idea of like, what's sexy and what's like intellectual. Especially Emmie's path at one point. Emmie has probably one of the more moments. I was like, really? Okay. Because Emmie asked you out of the blue head. Yep. Track shed. You know, she's like, I talked to a gay friend of mine. He told me about it. I want you to go fuck me in the ass in the track. Oh, God. So there is, uh, this, this still image of that happening is hilarious. It's jarring. It's jarring. It, it really sucks is like, like what really sucks is like, I did not like this game from the beginning. I thought it was very boring. The first act I thought was very boring where you meet everybody. And it was like, just get the fuck on with it. And you think and you're going to play risk. And then I know I was so excited. Because I thought I was going to get to do something. And then it was like halfway through the game. And you fucker to the side for me. Okay. So right at the, oh, no, no, please go ahead. Right at the beginning. I wasn't quite sure what it was going to be. And I'm like, Oh, okay. Something like scary. Oh, he's had some sort of like medical episode. Oh, okay. All right. He's in the hospital. And he's talking about arrhythmia. My arrhythmia is so bad. It's so dangerous. I have to go to this special school. And I was like, do I maybe not know what an arrhythmia is? I have that as well. Did you look it up? I was like, okay. I took a screenshot. I took a screenshot, the screenshot. When you Google arrhythmia, it says arrhythmia is very common. More than 3 million US cases per year. And at the bottom, I underlined this. Most arrhythmia are considered harmless and are left untreated. Is he catfishing? I lost my shit. Your hard condition, Dave, is worse than that. You should be a mother school. Yeah, this could be me. If nothing else, this game is like to me. It just seemed like it was researched so poorly. And like, it's raising awareness. What's the hard condition? Can you please send me that screenshot? Yes. I lost my mind. What were you saying? I don't want to-- That's one of the things that drives me crazy. And Tadpog is when I'm like, oh, no, I wanted that anecdote. So the beginning is very boring. And I cannot get past that. That was like, it was almost like, Tyler, I told you, I think it was like, I'm not going to finish this game. I'm sure that we both messaged Tyrone because I messaged him and at one point was like, I hate this game. I hate what's happening. I kind of want to play it a little closer than that. But I think Tyler knew that I hated this. So the beginning was very boring. And then what happened was I got taken on this roller coaster because I thought that they handled Emmy well. Like, I got to the point where I was like, oh, I actually am enjoying learning about this fictional character. And I think it's interesting. And that's kind of around the time. I was like, oh, they are treating this ability with respect. And then it just felt like sex was just like wedged in there. It was just in there like an unlooted penis in an asshole. It was just like a gender attraction. It was so fucking dumb. I hated it because it was like, it was because I was like, finally, finally this game is it. Okay, cool. Sweet. Because like in the still image of her being bent over with her Oscar Pistorius legs up in the air. And you have to sell behind her. And she has a look on her face. Her eyes are budged out like, oh, shit. It's all I did. Oh my god. Yeah. So am I really in a track shed in my butthole blasted by this dude? He doesn't even have a real condition. Nope, who I met two days ago. And I've never done this before. And then right after her, she was like, I don't want to ever do that again. Yeah. Oh my god. We also, so absolutely. So it's realistic. Yeah. Yeah. If that's your intro to sex, you're probably not going to like it. It's a real sex. Yeah, you're not going to be into it. They used the whole bottle of lube though. It said right in the text. So I don't see the problem though. Oh my god. All right. So everybody did play through the part where they met all the girls. Yes. So personality test wise. All right. What girl did you find yourself like intrigued by like out of everyone that you met? And that you met. Who did you like? Okay. I hope I get on that path. Emmy. So it worked out perfectly for me. The librarian who you cannot romance. Why was she interesting to you? I don't know. I was into her. Really? Yeah, I didn't know what it was. She was shy and mousing kind of quirky. I just wanted to get out of there. I just was like, I don't even know. No, which girl did you like? Come on. I honestly was just. Just hated it. I just hated it. I just hated it. If you turn down every girl, go down all their no paths. Like you end up with your male roommate, Kenji. Who? Oh, okay. I loved that guy. He was weird and hilarious. He, that was the only part of the game that like, that legitimately made me laugh out loud. See, when he, I thought he was funny at first, but then when he kept popping up, to progress, you hit space bar. So anytime I'd be walking back to my room and he would pop up, space bar, space bar, space bar, space bar, space bar, space bar, space bar. I wouldn't even fucking read it. He is, and Jacob, you might be interested to know this. I didn't know this until just now that the librarian talks about having a bad relationship before, and she's not sure about getting into one. And Kenji wasn't a bad one and he talks about, that's why he's like very anti-woman and they're all out to get him. He is like a very like conspiracy theorist. Yeah, he and the librarian dated, and that's the bad relationship. Oh, that's crazy. And he has the book that she's looking for in the library. I noticed that. But he didn't want to go in and borrow it from her, so he stole it from the library. Yeah, that's crazy. See, but outside of reading. Outside of that, yeah, that is also funny. But Misha, I liked, I liked Misha, but I was not a big fan of, I like Misha too until she cuts her hair. Oh, which one was Misha? The one with the translator. Oh, that's the drills. And what is her disability? She stutters like three times, does that count? I think she is just, she's essentially there as Shazoona's translator. This concept. So she just gives up her education? She's like that's all for you. She's like, I'm going to go to a school where like. Where I can shine. Yeah, yeah. She's like, I'm going to go to a school where like this, all these super intelligent people are who've been reading for like three months. That was okay. That was one of the things that initially made me just like fucking hate it. Is that this guy, this kid is like, I got addicted to reading. I know. He was reading, he was reading a, not even a library. He just found a stack of books in a closet. He was reading John Grisham and being like, I've got all these ideas. The way that I described it is the, like it's CFP with the jail. Oh my God. He read all those books. When CFP went to jail, he was like, he was in jail for at first, like what? Two weeks, one week. Something like that. And he said he read 40 books while he was in jail. And immediately Josh dance just like narrows his eyes at him. Maybe like footy game instruction manuals. But the thing that I used as my sort of comparison is that like you're, you know, you're a high school student. You have read books before, presumably. So it's like you get to a point where you're like, you know what? I'm 17 years old and I think I'm going to continue to brush my teeth. Like I've enjoyed this and I enjoy oral hygiene. I think I might, you might even say that I'm addicted to brushing my teeth. I do it so frequently. I'm going to do it once more day. I do it twice a day. And that's, you know, that's a lot for a thing that you do every day. Well, Jacob, like your brain also is like, I mean, yeah, I've ridden my bike like a lot. I don't need the skill anymore. I'm going to delete it from my brain. But this kid does not know how to ride a bike in your own. 17, whatever year old kid is in a hospital with like no TV and no like video game system. Yeah, of course you're going to fucking read it. What else are you going to do? But he like, oh God, I just hated him. I hated the main character so much. He was so pretentious. I was over him immediately. I didn't know if I hated him because I hated him or if it was because I hate high school people. Like that I was just like, oh, if you're 16, I think you're an idiot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here is my potential fucked up somewhat awful thought just now because you said that gala. So it's just like, all right, I know Japan has a problem with rapidly decreasing population. So I hope if this if this school was real, it is the Japanese government being like, all right, let's take all the disabled people and put them in in this school. And we'll put some normies in there too, take away all the TV, all the video games, so they have no choice but to fuck each other, make the population go up. Get into the population and not, you know, you're going to go out your way to fuck them. We put them in a school, don't think else to do. They don't give fuck. You think they could just ban condoms? I was immediately drawn to Hanako, who is the girl in the library, who has the same condition as that villain from Captain Planet. Half of her face has been burned in a house fire. Fucked up face. And she wears. Proogorized. Yeah. Caddick. Both of them back to back is really, if either of you had individually said it, I would have been fine back to back. You remember when Dave said that the game itself treated all the disabilities with respect? I'm not going to treat the game with that respect. I guess it's not just Hanako's face, it's all that entire half of her body. She has problems being intimate with you the whole time in the game. Even when she gets naked, when you finally have sex, she's trying to angle herself away from you, and she's very embarrassed of half of her body. Man, I did not like the sex of this game. I really, it really was, it was, I mean, that was kind of funny. But it was really, like- That's the only really funny one. All the other ones. God, I got the really funny one. There was a moment where I was playing this, and I was like, "I should have masked my IP when I downloaded this." Because like, it dawned to me, I was like, "These characters are like 16 years old, fuck yeah." Oh, god damn it, I am on a list. Although, common to our anime, the question is like, who is best girl is all over our anime? Who is best girl? So, for Cat-O-Loshoo Joe, who is best girl? I think best girl is Lily. Lily was the one I, out of all the paths, I've got basically all the endings for all of them, and the one that I drew in the most. Yes, the half-fringe, half-Japanese blind girl. Sounds like a Tarantino character, doesn't it? Yeah, actually. Because you're like, "You may wonder why I have blonde hair. It's because my father was French." You're like, "Cool." Okay. Sweet, I won't even bother asking the girl with pink hair what her nationality is. I just like, I wanted to take a red pen to the writing. Like, it was just so, and that was the other thing. But who is best girl, Gailie? Who is best girl? Who is best girl? I don't have a best girl, Kenji. Kenji's my favorite. Kenji's the only person that I wasn't like, bored by, or infuriated by. It's tough to get past the first act, honestly. Yeah, it's really, really, really difficult. I like Misha because I like the fact that she apparently doesn't have any real disability, but is still like a... You motherfucker. She stutters like four times in the game. That is a disability. That's pretty bad. And as much of a disability is losing your thumb. And it's like, "I don't know Jacob. If you lose opposable thumbs, that's all that separates us from the end." Well, if you lose both of them, I see a problem. Then you might as well be a fucking fish. Yeah, you're right. You can't do a thing. I think Misha is just maybe kind of dumb, but, or she was offered a free education to go and be Shazune's translator. And Shazune's family is like... And she's a deaf signer. Shazune is like from a very prestigious family. So maybe that's just her in and why she's there. And she's deaf. But to get Shazune's bad ending, you fuck Misha. D. Yeah, that's right. And you both describe it as being just terrible sex. And then you don't talk any more after that. Can't be as terrible as the track shed. It's pretty bad. Because that was pretty bad. And Emi stays with you. And again, I had to play my cards right. The bag's got hairy. Generally when a girl is very upset and doesn't want to talk to me and ask me to leave, like my natural reaction in that situation is to be like, "Okay, I'll leave and we'll just talk later." I will respect your... That gets you the bad ending with Emi. Like you have to choose to not leave her house and talk to her. I'm glad I did that thing then. I'm glad I went after her. I was. I was like, there is no way... There's no way I'm leaving this house without letting her know that I care about her. But she did not like that. But it all worked out on the end. We had sex again. After visiting her dad's grave. [Laughter] Like three minutes after her. Oh my god. Pretty neat. There's my dead daddy. What? You slap a condom on this hog. Let's get it down. Oh my god. [Laughter] Oh my god. I do love the idea of the sound just being like... Cool. She's so... I went through a lot today coming all the way out here. Look at your dad. That's strange. Do you fuck with an arm? My chest. Oh my god. [Laughter] Can we... Daddy, where are you going? [Laughter] My very fatal arriff, man. Very scary. I can't believe that there is going to be... No, that's not true. I was about to say I can't believe that there's going to be a sequel to this. I absolutely believe that there is going to be a sequel. Well, the one ending Jacob I think you might like is when you go after Ren. Ren has a very... I feel like she had the story like all the decisions to get with Ren. Ren's good ending made no sense. Probably random. It's ones that I wouldn't have made at all. Yeah, she's very hard to read. And she's a complex character. She has no arms. She reminds me... Kinda has arms. Although she has arms, she reminded me a lot of Laura Ammons. Strangely enough. Huh. Yeah. So but she has an interesting... Because she's also... She has no arms, or she's an artist that paints with her feet. So she has a very interesting story about like coming to terms with who she is and her art and where she fits in the world. I mean, she had an interesting story. And the biggest boobs. So there you go. Bro. Sorry. Got me off guard. I laughed. It didn't work too hard. So I, uh, Dave... Jacob, when you said anecdote, reminded me of something I told Dave like... You need to drink that anecdote. Let me drink it. So forget that. Flexing those blobs. Oh my god. How long has it been? How's that fucking itchy? All her lips are black. Oh. Oh no. Oh. I'm gonna have to go to a special school. I'm like the red Viper's wife where like I took that poison and then then all you guys to blub and then I drink it and just watch you fucking... No. You motherfuckers are gonna die, talking about Katowas. Here we go. That's what you get. That's like a Hitchcock episode. So I don't know how many listeners know. Like I love pillows in my lap all the time. And I forgot to remind you to tell this story. I'm sorry. When Jacob said anecdote, let me think about it. But so like all the time, I love pillows. I've got one in my lap right now. He does. I do it when I drive at everywhere. Yep. I have small t-rex like arms and it's uncomfortable in my car. For me, like my arm does not reach the armrest or the center console rest. So like hello in my lap. I don't think you have small arms, man. I do. Like you put Meghanide's chest-to-chest wingspan-wise. She has like a hand and a half on me like for wingspan. Meg is just like dunking on him constantly. Yeah. Every time I try to go in for layups, she just slaps out of my hand. But like your wingspan arm-to-arm is supposedly your height. This is for me. 'Cause we're... Meghan and I are the same height. That's weird. Mm-hmm. I think my arms are a little short and her arms are a little long. You want to do it? You want to stand back to back? And... I want to stand chest to chest. Nose to nose. Hard to heart. But the cock. All the good parts are in the middle. But so I always keep a pillow in my lap. People would always like, could tell what car I was driving because I always keep the pillow. I'll throw it back on the dash. Whatever I get out of my car. Do you see very weirded out that I do this? I've never heard of somebody doing this before. I would be nervous that having something in my lap while I drove would affect my reflexes. But... We tried sending Tyler to a pillow-related school, but it wasn't happening. Well, I had a pillow in my lap when I went through McDonald's the other day. And when I went through the second window and got my food, the lady looked down when she hated my food. You just have surgery? Yep. No? Well, you got that pillow when you're lap floor. (laughing) I just like it. As she walked away. That's fucking weird. (laughing) Mind your own business. (laughing) I was like... Next time I guess we can talk about this. Man, look at my arms. Look at my arms, ma'am. I would have loved for you to like, peeled back of the pillow and your erect penis. (laughing) You're just fucking red in love. (laughing) Just angry. Nick, like it's got something to say. (laughing) I didn't get... Oh, initially, when I was at... She was going to be like, "Did you just have surgery?" No. Why you got that pillow? Uh... Yeah, I did just have surgery. (laughing) Yep. Ah. Thanks for my food. (laughing) So, Nick, I need to make sure next time she's there. I'll drive up really slowly. It'd be like, I'm jerking off under the pillow. And then just wheel up and just make eye contact with her. Or, dude, can you make it look like you don't have legs? (laughing) So she feels like you're really fucking awful. Yeah. No, actually I had surgery five years ago when they had to amputate these. But thank you. I did enjoy that big Mac, ma'am. I didn't enjoy that big Mac, ma'am. I've been dealing with this. You're bright in my day. (laughing) I mean, Jacob, you also had someone call you something really shitty in my Donald's, and in my Donald's drive through in college. I don't even remember this. But this is absolutely a thing that has happened. Like you remember you called and complained. I don't even remember this. You called them in Donald's and complain. College was a long time ago, you guys. Not as long as you were the 90s. As long as the 90s. 'Cause, like, you had said something in the drive through, and, I don't know, a woman didn't like you, or she was busy. So, when you pulled up and she asked you what you wanted, you told her, and she handed you the bag, and you looked, and there wasn't something in there. Like a straw or something. And she had grumbles about it, handed the straw, hands it back to you, and you say thank you, and as you're driving off, you hear her call you a fucking, that. - Oh, I do remember that. - Yeah, a what? - Well, in other words, we don't say on the show. - Yeah. - Slender for a homosexual male. - Oh. - Yeah, I do remember that. - The new F word. - The new F word. - Yeah. - I don't remember, I don't remember calling, but I absolutely would have called. - Oh my God, yeah, it's horrible. - That is 100% of the thing that would happen. - That's the kind of thing that would have made me back my car up, and be like, excuse me? - Yeah. - That's a like, me storming in. - Yeah. - And demanding to speak to a manager. - And Galen's favorite thing in the world is calling people a fucking thing. - Galen's favorite thing in the world is too fist fighting to get a gun at a restaurant. - If something is worth complaining. I won't just like, pick out stuff. - Find the thing. - Yeah, but like, if something has gone wrong, I love complaining about bad service. I do, I love it. It's like one of my greatest joys. - Is it like immutinability? - Yeah, yeah. And it is, well, it is passed, it is passed down through my family's history as New Yorkers. - Yeah. - We are New York Jews, and we will be treated with respect and dignity, and my food will be warm when I receive it, thank you. - I am far too big a coward to like, storm to McDonald's. Like, I'm very much, we're like. - Do you see me on YouTube videos and world star hip hop videos of people storming in the McDonald's? It does not go well. - But it was a, let me be clear. I will not be rude unless I am treated. Very poorly. I will complain. - Well, yeah, at this point, you've already had me. - But like, if somebody called me a name, oh, I would flip out. - But she was a woman. So there was no like, good ending for me, storming in there. You know? There's no good way where I storm in, and then like, I could get her fired, but I feel like I could probably get her fired just by making a phone call, too. - Yeah. - I would immediately, if McDonald's.com. All right, where do I find this? - Yeah. - Yeah, I would have filed an official report. - I would have driven my car into the lobby. And then like, "I need to be doing my manager." "Oh my God!" - In the time now, if that happened to me, one of the easiest things in the world would be, "Oh man, I can't wait to tweet about this. "I can't wait to tweet @McDonalds "and get like corporate involved in this right now." - Yeah. - Yeah. - What would that hashtag be? - It's a fucking, yeah. (laughing) - Oh man. - And I think that, so I think, that the next time you go through Wendy's, you should be tweeting at Wendy's about that guy. - Oh man, I didn't tell you. I had another encounter. - What? A new, like-- - Yeah, a new encounter. - I didn't know about this. - A new encounter with the Wendy's drive-through guy. Gailin, I don't know if you're familiar with the Wendy's drive-through guy. - I am not. - First window of Wendy's here on South Side, Paducah. There's a guy who is convinced at one point in our lives, I gave him a ride home and I didn't. - Okay. - All right. - And he's consistently weird, because he has been weird to-- - Ryan, especially. - Yeah, he's offered to buy my car, yeah. - He's offered to buy my car. He wants to buy cars. - Okay. - So-- - Like out from under you while you're driving it? - I'm making sure-- - It doesn't seem that way. - How much you take for that car? - It doesn't seem like he wants to buy it immediately. - Oh, all right. - So I got-- - He keeps needing people to give him rides, so-- - Yeah, he doesn't-- - He's looking for a car. - I mean, that makes, that's a lot of cool. - Yeah, yeah. - So I got, you know how sometimes you get stuck at the first window because there's the car in front of you and it's like a long car-- - Like the excursion that made the really big order? - Yeah. - So he's at the first window and I give him my money, I pay, and then he gives him a change back and he just stays there at the window with his elbow, like, like, he's Wilson, just like talking to me over the fence. (laughs) And I'm not, I did not know what to even talk about, because like the whole time, like, it wouldn't have been, it would have been fine if it had not been the guy who wants to buy my car and the guy who's like, remember that time he gave me the ride and I'm like, "No, I don't." He's like, "Yeah, you do." Oh, man. - You do, no. - So it was an extremely awkward conversation about, so what are you doing after you eat your meal? (laughs) You got home to your wife, again, your son, Enric. (both laughing) The beautiful house. Thinking about making a Craigslist ad later, you can check that out. (both laughing) - God dang, that's what misconnections is made for. - Oh, boy. - You got to make that connection this time. - I'd be going to Odensleep, don't worry about it. - What I love the most is, apparently it got too weird for him because he, all of a sudden goes, "I got to go." And he shut the window and he walked back in. (both laughing) To the kitchen or whatever. And I was like, "Thank God." 'Cause that was like, what was probably 45 seconds. I felt like I aged five years in my car. - You went from first term Obama to second term Obama. (both laughing) - Right in the Trump dog. (both laughing) - He pulled away orange, it was so bad. (both laughing) - I was so distracted, I forgot to vote. And then Trump got in. (both laughing) That's how it happens. - Yeah. - Oh man. (both laughing) - There's no Wendy's in catalog show, Joe, unfortunately. Just ask fucking. - There's a lot of really, really overly descriptive language though. - Well, you take Lily's virginity and they're quite descriptive of like, the blood and the pain, but she's, you know, she falls in love with you and a whole bunch of stuff. So this game, every girl hits a very different peak. - So describe all the other sexual encounters. 'Cause we've got-- - In detail. - You don't just take a just frown. (both laughing) A huge like cartoonish frown when I asked you to do that thing. - You guys don't wanna take some call. (both laughing) - No, tell me about fucking these cartoons, dude. (both laughing) - I wanna know. - It's all pretty sweet except for Shazune, who it's like a weird, challenge fucking thing. So. - Oh yeah, I, of course. That makes all the sense in the world. - I was not, like, I was not having her. I was worried that I was somehow gonna like, wind up with her and-- - I did not like her at all. - And like, so when like Emmy showed an interest, I was like, oh, thank God. I might actually be able to finish this game. 'Cause if it had been her, Shazune, I would have just quit. - She's the deaf girl. - The deaf girl, glasses and blue hair. - Okay. - She's a real jerk. She's a real jerk. - The whole time, if you do a relationship, she's constantly like judging you and giving you bad looks and, yeah. - She's a jerk. - It's better once you learn, once Sal learns how to sign and then the dialogue actually starts going by a lot quicker. - Yeah. - Yeah. - So did you play through all of the endings? Did you like get the good ending with all of them? - I got the good ending with all of them. I got the, I don't know how many neutral, I know I got the good and bad ending for just about everybody. I don't know about the neutral ending. So. - What happens with the neutral ending? Is it like, you played a game. - Schooled over. It's still sober. - I'll see you next year. It was fun to hang out with you. - They let you, they let you play space invaders for 30 seconds. - Yes, that's the good ending. (laughing) - God dang here. (laughing) - But that is kind of what you do. - Do you get that? - So wait, the only way you have sex with Misha is if you betray Katsune. It's like she's not, she's not her own, like she's not her own woman. - You get in a really bad argument and Misha is already angry at her. So then like you guys, and you guys have been flirting. I think that's part of what makes Shazune mad. So then like you decide to go ahead and have sex. Very awkward, bad sex. - Yeah. - And then like. - In front of Shazune. (laughing) - Like the bad ending. - Look. - The good ending is when you turn Misha down, the bad ending is where you fuck Misha and then tell Shazune about it. And the neutral ending is where you fuck Misha and then hide it from Shazune. - Mm-hmm. - So you're conflicted. - Yep. - She doesn't know, but. - But you know. - You are powerful. - And you'll always know. - Mm-hmm. You always know what you did. - Isn't that what I know you did last summer's all about? - Yep. - Yeah. (laughing) - I remember you fucked that cartoon, didn't tell me. (laughing) - I know all about it. - But what passed? Did you ever show killer? Did you ever love you? - Mm-hmm. - Jennifer Love you. - Damn right, Jennifer Love you. - I don't know. - Yeah. - Let me show you. - Let me show you. - I, Jennifer Love you, it was one of my first, like, kids incorporated. I had a crush on her. - Oh, yeah. - As somebody who is staying in Jacob's teenage bedroom right now, let me tell you, yes indeed, he loved Jennifer Love you. - He loved, yeah. - There aren't cut out magazines. - No. - Cut out from magazines. - No. - Absolutely. - It's absolutely adorable. - So wait, with all those evidence, you're going to say not Jennifer Love you. - Let me say this. - What do you mean cause of? - Now, did you write a letter? - Can we love you? - Call me John Mayer. - As an adult. I look at like Sarah Michelle Geller in Cruel Intentions. - Cruel Intentions, yeah. - And she is just the sexiest thing on the planet in that movie. I give that to you, she is insanely sexy in that. You look like, you go back and you watch that movie now, and we were blessed to have received that movie when we did in our teenage years for like both sexes because like, Ryan Philippi is like an impossibly beautiful person too. - Who's also like, his character's like really smart and like, yeah, that movie. - So I don't know, Sarah Michelle Geller and Selma Blair. - Yeah. - Selma Blair, I remember that kiss. I was like, oh fuck. - Yeah, I don't remember that. - The dick just came on, la. - Get out of the way pillow. (laughing) - The sex scene in Cruel Intentions. - Daddy's gonna work. (laughing) - The sex scene in Cruel Intentions, like, redick. - So yeah, like, I understand, I love Jennifer Love You It as much as the next person, but like Sarah Michelle Geller in Cruel Intentions is so top shelf. - Yeah, I've never seen Jennifer Love You It like be incredibly sexy and really anything. Like not to that degree of like dark sexy. - She's just hot. - Yeah, yeah. - What's that movie where she and her and-- - Sigourney Weaver. - Is that green? I don't know, it was a movie. - Can't hardly wait. Can't hardly wait, thank you. - Oh, I never saw that. - Yeah, I didn't either. - It's pretty good. - Yeah. - That's where she looks like. - Oh wait, no, I have seen that. That's the house party. - Yeah. - Okay, yeah. Yeah, I've seen that one. - So that's one of Taren's favorite movies, right? - Probably. - I feel like it. I feel like it is. - Yeah, I feel you're hard to say that. It makes sense. - Everybody name your favorite 90s rom com on three. One, two, three. Clueless. Nope, nobody else in there. (laughing) - You guys are assholes. - No, no, I was processing, I was like-- - We did move it. - You got mail, no, no, no, no, you got mail, no, you got mail, fuck, no. - I was like, I don't think that's-- - Just kidding. - I'm just kidding. - You got mail. - Are you kidding me if it's not you've got mail? Come on. - Why did I think-- - Did I see a rom com in the 90s? - I know. - I know. - I know. - Okay. - The rom com com com. (laughing) - Okay, I was obsessed. - Does this have any count? - I was obsessed with Serendipity when I was in college and I hated it, but I watched it all the time. - No, I hated it. I was like, this is so bad. It's so cheesy. It's so terrible. I'm gonna watch it every weekend. And I would watch it and be like, I hate this, but I love it. (laughing) - Oh, Katowashujo. (laughing) - So I didn't, I want to maw it for your John Qzak in this, Hasawa's actually replaced the picture of John Qzak and you played it. - But everything else is exactly the same. - I think it would play the same. - And I would buy it, yeah. - I think it would play the same. - And I'd be like, that's Rob from high fidelity. - That's Rob. - Yep, that's him. - You have to pay extra for Jack Black. (laughing) - Kenji has replaced my Jack Black. (laughing) God, now in a recast. - That would really work. - It's a real live pictures for all the girls. (laughing) Jack Black dressed as Harry Potter. - Yeah. - Eddie Murphy plays all the girls. (laughing) - You, he was nominated for an offer. - Crazy. - Yeah, with the Katowashu, Joe's. (laughing) It's pretty good. - I wish the storylines would have kind of intertwined a little bit. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Like you could have like kind of dated the flavor field. - Yeah, yeah. - You can, you can sort of play both. (laughing) - If you're driven, it's just like-- - I just can't believe we're not talking about how bad the writing is. - Oh, it's bad. - Like the sentences. - Oh, it's, yeah, it's bad. - There's a point where he's talking about the blind girl, which, what's her name? - Lily. - Lily. - Lily. So they're in the, I guess it's like when they're in, I don't even remember it. - But he's like, oh, we finished the conversation and she pulled out a cane. But unlike the cane that that teacher used for support, this was a cane for feeling her way around. It's like, yes, we all show that some blind people use canes, we fucking know. You don't have to explain it to me. Like I'm three years old. I know. - He is an over again, I know. - She pulled out a cane. This cane was clearly one from Thailand, made the discipline of those who had broken the law. - But not even that interesting. - No, no. - Just like, you're right, just explaining like, - If she had been like the sandman in that moment from the ECW and started beating the shit out of him. I would have been like, okay, singing more cane, cool. - There's a moment where he's having a conversation with the girl and her translator. And they're like, oh, you should properly research things before they do them. Like before you go to the convenience store, you should research which one you wanna go to, to make sure they have what you want. And I was like, I'm dying. - Every moment this is happening. I am losing seconds that I could be spending with my family, with my, with, with actual books. - It's almost like they designed this game to like have a peripheral that is like, like registers your pulse or something. And like as your blood pressure rises, as you play the game, like you're a, you're a, you're a, yes. - Yes. - Well, we can all stand a little more research before we go to a new convenience store. - That is true. - You know. - That is true. - How big of fun in bags do you have there, man? - I hope so badly that like Nicole was in this episode and she went, huh, I should do that. I should do that. You know what products that you need. - 'Cause what if you go to the wrong convenience store? You know what I will say? - You look like a nerd. - Maybe that's advice I should take because I occasionally go to the circle K and they don't have what I want. And I just-- - The Walmarts here all carry different things. So yeah, you also don't know where you need to go for. - Well, it's fair, you know what? I'm going to retract that crisis. - Yeah, I think you owe-- - I'm sorry. - For a leaf in apology. - Sorry, I'm sorry for a leaf. You're, you're fine. - Now you had to play their second game. - That's the rule. - Katowah? - Two jokes. - Oh, no! - No! - No! (laughing) - Man, wow. From downtown. - Oh, God. - Through a state of mind, just like Tom Gugliata. - I wanna see how active their subreddit is. - Tom Gugliata. - Katowah Shoujo Reddit. - Yeah, I was actually looking at their Reddit because of course I want to see all of these anime girls naked now, so. - I didn't get to see them all, naked. - I didn't see any of them naked. I didn't make it that far. - You're the only one not going to jail. - Look at all these links to deviant art. - Oh no! - Link in the show notes. - It's pretty fucking weird. - Oh my God. - They're just like, and some of them are just like pleasant, you know? Hanoko, just. - The ones that are just kind of pleasant are a little more disturbing than the ones that are overtly sexual. - I played this game for the first time. It ended up spending my weekend with Hanoko. - No. - God, no, no, no, no, no, no! - Hey, you might want to get us. - You might want me to be a Lily body pillow. Go ahead. - Yes, I will do that for you. - Send me a waifu, please. - We have enough Patreon money, Tyler, that I think we can spend it on a Lily body pillow for you. - Do you guys want to know what your hard earned money went to? - Here it is. - Not well of amiibos and five kettles, shoot your body pillows. - Check Instagram. - Yeah. - So the next time you go through McDonald's drive through, you'll have a different pillow on your bike. - Oh, this isn't my lap on that rope beside me. - Yeah, that should be great. - What did you want? - Yes. - You can drive in the H.O.T lane. That'll be great. - We're going to need a small fry, please. She's shy. - You might wonder why she has blonde hair. She's French. - I know what you were thinking. She kind of looks Japanese and Japanese. - This cage, she has in her hand. It's not like the other cage. - No, no, no, no, no. - It's for mobility. - It's for mobility. - That's what she can get around because she can't see. - She's a pillow. - She's student body president. - She's from class two. - I could have fucked her cousin, Shazune. But I didn't. - No, I made the right choice. - Yeah. - Really his best girl, my Donald's Parker. Really his best girl. - Nestle, so where does that other pillow with your lap? - Oh. - You're a normal guy. That's what she would say about. - Everything about this checks out. I am not concerned. - No, not at the worst. - Okay, I was worried about this link called Hanako's Pokemon. - I was like, is Hanako as a Pokemon? - He's got to catch him all. - But no, just her holding a Pokemon. - It's a mashup. Cross over episode. - Okay. - In me, at her, in me, yes. - Just this hurts. - Oh, here's some fan fiction. - Oh, shit, oh shit. - A wedding with Lily. - Oh no, I don't, I'm done. - I can't. - I'm tapping out. - I can't. - Oh no, now see, I'm back in. - In me's winter break. Empty hallways. - Dude, I'd rather eat a plum. - Oh man. Yeah, each girl has copious amounts of fan fiction. - Man. - Super excited. - Man. - You said deeply sad. - I am, I am sad. This is making me sad. - Chandra, please, please peruse some of this fan fiction and call in readings. Whatever the juiciest fan fiction is that you can find. - That's our silver lining. - Fan fiction. See, now we've hit on my interests. - Yeah? - Fan fiction. - Oh, I was quite the fan fiction writer. - What was your specialty? - I wrote a fair amount of Harry Potter fan fiction, but I think I wrote more Aladdin fan fiction. - No shit. - Yeah. - I have a very sad, lost look in my eyes. - No, no, it seemed like you were about to share something very real, just trying to not do it. - And I know exactly what it is. - Oh please. - Oh, come on. - Oh please. - Another day. - This should have been on the interview episode, but we never touched on it. - Damn. - Never touched on how much it's obviously, she would have loved to talk about her fan, but we talked about genies, and you didn't just jump in there. - No, no, uh-uh. - No, it's really on you. - Right over my head. - Right over my head. - All right. - Here's one about the game from Amy's perspective, and she has a mantra she chanced as she does. - This episode is dumb. (laughing) - As opposed to... - This is, this is not, this is dumb, and this is the 300th one. I know. Do you remember the one where they just described photos, the pictures on the internet? - Yeah. - That was a 300 episode, right? Yeah. (laughing) - I like making the decisions. (laughing) - Okay, do you wanna do, you know. You know. - Are we gonna talk about it? - No, I'm just gonna bounce around it. (laughing) - This is just as valid. This is exactly what would have happened if you guys had been like, "Hey Jacob, whenever you're coming on, "we'll talk about what you've been playing." And I was like, "All right, NBA 2K16." Like, the exact same kind of thing would be happening. - Speaking of... - Yeah, we wouldn't be talking as much as... - What, no. - What players did you rob my guest? - High school girl. (laughing) - But it would be... - Let's think there's any fanfic or deviant art for all these players. - It would be like, did you rob me? - Did you have anal sex with Curry in the track shed? (laughing) - I've never done this before. (laughing) - You just hit me from way downtown. - Don't worry. (laughing) - An entire bottle of lube. (laughing) Which also, an entire bottle of lube is way too much. - That's too much lube. - Everything's smaller in Japan. - Oh no. That's right. It was like a tiny one shaped like a cat. When you pop the lid, it goes, "Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah." - I was thinking about the butthole, not about the anal. (laughing) I was as well, which made that great. It was like a trap. - I have this image of the trap door from Wizard of Oz. (laughing) - Who goes there? (laughing) - I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean. (laughing) - I'm the butt cat. - I mean, you guys have revenge in Japan? That's what I was describing, the butts. - I have. - I'm talking about the butts. - But I gotta go. - But I was with you. - But basically the entire second episode of Girls this season. - Oh my God, yes. - I was with you on that whole point. I was imagining like the lube bottle being like that fortune cat, you see in like Chinese. - Yes. - Japanese restaurant. - It's like the way it is. - You pull the arm down and it like drools, a drop of lube and you hold it over your asshole and pump the arm several times. - Uh huh. - Sway faster, kitty. Sway faster. (laughing) - Okay, but that's time for good. - Oh my God. - Thanks for listening everybody. You can find the show on iTunes, Stitcher and SoundCloud. - We're shutting it down, we're done. (laughing) I have no beards, no glasses. - Oh shit. - I never talked to you about any of that. - Do you have any of those things? - I can make them up. - Yeah, fuck it. - I can make them up. - 300, fuck it. (laughing) - Just this is where we just stopped giving a shit away. - You guys are listening to the final episode of Napalm. (laughing) Oh man, they've really unraveled on episode 300. - Yeah, we had to play this fucking game. - It was just like a deep existential crisis for the soul of Dad Park. - You guys are welcome. - I want you to know that I did finish this game. That was a goal to finish this game. - I did not finish this game. And there was a point pretty early on where I was like, "I'm not gonna do this." - Oh, I got there too. And I was like, fuck it. (laughing) And it was like, I was thinking about what you said in your interview about it's like, "I guess I'm a real gamer." (laughing) I guess I'm a real visual novel reader. - I gotta do this. I gotta do this. - See, somebody had the ROM hack, I'm kind of watching you about what Disney characters so Galen will finish all of it with all the endings. - That would be fun. - Who gets it? - I love Disney. - Who gets it in the track show? - You can get the Hanako Disney Infinity characters. (laughing) - It's so crunchy. - Am I 3D print me? Katabashijobibos, please. - Oh, wow. - That would actually be, that would be cool. (laughing) - So which Disney character seriously gets it in the track trend? - Mmm. - Marida. - That's what I was thinking. - She is a child. - She is only like 11. - That was Immy. (laughing) - We're a big Game of Thrones fans here. - This is the guy, she's like 11? - Well, maybe not 11, but she's not, she's a kid. - Marida, she is not an 8L-A. - She's a kid. - I don't know, I've never seen Brave, so a little fairness. - No, I mean, I think it's obviously as Morelda. - Oh, good point. Good point. - Although she's not technically on Princess. - No, but as Morelda's not into it though. - If it's done wrong, I mean. - I would say it was done wrong in the track shed. - If you do propel her from a real chair before you do it. - Yeah, she's feedbacks her bust. She's like, excuse me, only golden, I don't think y'all. - Okay, I don't understand any of this now. - Dang it, watch a movie. - Maybe it's Jasmine. She's curious that she might do it wrong. She's adventurous. - Galen, is it Jasmine? - I don't know, I feel like- - Galen is a Jasmine. - I feel like- - I feel like- - I feel like Jasmine would approach something like that with a little more research. - Yeah. - She wouldn't just be like, let's- - We'll buy Asma and Joshua. - She's not gonna, she's not gonna know. - I am no prize to be, whoa! (laughing) - No, no, it wouldn't have to be- - You weren't God free. - This makes Tadbogg Jacob is an impression of Jasmine. (laughing) - That is going into the description right now. (laughing) - This week on Tadbogg, cut, cut, cut. - Oh. Well, next episode, we don't know what we'll do. Something for other- - You know, I want beards and glasses, I want 'em. - Okay. - I want 'em, give 'em to 'em. - See, achievements, gotta catch 'em all. Yes, text with all, everyone. - All right, all right. - Yeah, it's like everyone. - Everyone. - Let's see, and then Beards, I would have to give this, I don't think any characters in this game have a beard. (squeaking) - Hmm. - What was that noise? - That I was making mouth noises. (laughing) - That's my butt cat. Come on, hold on. - Come on, hold on. - Smash. (laughing) - All right, let's dash. (laughing) - Is that how big his house is? (laughing) I just, no wonder, poor Amy. (laughing) - And Lily and all, all of them. - Problematic. - And for glasses. - Kenji wears glasses. There you go. - Yeah, I guess I have so Harry Potter's glasses. I put this on par there in Potter's theory. - Oh my God. (laughing) - All right, I'm glad that I asked for that. - I wanna know, you've offended me. - I wanna hear Jim Dale Nairake at a Wash U Jail. (laughing) Or Steven's drawing. - Steven's drawing. (laughing) - I'll take Steven. - Steven Fry does all the girl's voices. Jim Dale does. (laughing) He's out. - And Kenji. - And Kenji. - And the nurse, who I thought was gonna be romanceable. - Right? - Because I felt like that dude was coming on to me at every turn. (laughing) - He's very professional. - Come on us out. Take off your pants. (laughing) - Oh man. - Uh. Thanks for listening. We fought, clearly we, we've earned your five star on 200 views. - We fought through this one. - This is a good one. - Clearly. - No joke. This is a good one. - So please go to iTunes, find Tadpog, subscribe. Give us the five star review, ride a review. So if there is a game you want us to play, guess host for a certain episode, or a Patreon request. Please include it there. We promise we will get to that. (laughing) - Eventually. Don't worry guys. Like Tyler said, we're gonna be back. We're gonna be talking about something. Uh, who knows? 301, it's a new start. That's what we'll call it. We're gonna write a lot of new start. In the meantime, you can always Tadpog 301, we're doing books. (laughing) 300 to 400, we're gonna read three books a week and talk about 'em. - Yeah. - We're addicted now. - You can't wait for all, all visual novels. 301 is infinite jest. Hope you enjoy it. (laughing) - I can't pretend like 20 games in my Steam library are not visual novels that I got for like 25 cents on a Steam sale. - Yeah. - Are you gonna play them all? - Eventually. - You like it, right? - I do, I like them. - Yeah. - A lot, I mean, a lot of people do. I don't think I can do, I don't know. I guess I could do another one for the show, but I don't think I'll ever play one for pleasure. - Yeah. - What was that game that we played? It wasn't a novel so much. It wasn't a visual novel so much, but it was an iPhone game or an iPad game that was storytelling. - Device six. - Yeah, yeah. That was really cool. - Yeah, it was varied. - What is it? - It's, it is sort of a visual novel, but there's more of a video game element to it. You would actually love it, Dave. I think that the design is very-- - It's beautiful. - Very clear, very nice. - What's it called? - Device six. - And it's like a puzzle, it's like a puzzle game. So like in order to advance in the story through the chapters, you have to solve puzzles. - Okay. - If you, like if you buy it for, I think it's probably like five bucks or something like that. If you buy it for your iPad and you don't like it, I'll give you five bucks. Like I feel that confident you will like it. - That's like a developer's guarantee there. I like it. - I also wanna say, just, I wanna, Gail, I wanna look you in the eyes and say, "I don't mind seeing cartoon titties in a game." (laughing) So I don't want you to feel like all my decisions that I'm making are based on that. 'Cause I did really like Honey Pop. That's a much better game than this. (laughing) - I wonder what's the-- - And what's the-- - I'm making lunch, it's a visual novel anywhere. (laughing) - Give me something wrong. - I see, please. - And what's the one with the-- (indistinct) - And it's broke this couch. - Oh, yay. - What's the one with where you're trying to romance pigeons? - Oh, Hatoful Boyfriend. - Yeah, yeah. - What? (laughing) - That was a better game. - That's what you can listen to in the way home to bar. - Yeah, right. - That was a better game than this one. - All right. - And I didn't like it very much either. In the meantime, you always find us on tadbog.com. That's where the show notes live. I got all kinds of things in here. - Our 10-part series on Proost 301 through 311. (laughing) - You can find us on Facebook. Facebook.com/thatbog, a lot of cool people there, doing a lot of cool shit. Leave a comment, I guess. Let us know, let us know. Just how do you, what do you expect us to know? - Let us know. (laughing) - I'm gonna print that on a banner. (laughing) - Dadbog. Let us know. - We're on Twitter. You can find us here at tadbog_podcast. It's cumbersome, I realize. Thank you to everybody who retweets us. Probably not this one, but we'll see. And then, call us if you want, call us. We got a phone number, 270-883-255-55. Leave a voicemail, send me a text. What, what was your first track field experience like? Let us know. - This episode makes me feel like Jim Norton, 'cause it's like, no, Bailey J, yeah. I don't know, I like how to shoot y'all. I like fucking cartoon girls. No, I'm an honest to God pervert. That's just what I'm into. - Who I am, you can't change me. I wouldn't want it. - So if you want to send us stuff, we welcome that please, intros. Maybe even if it's sour plums, clearly we'll eat it. So please, send anything you want to, Tadbox Studios, Carab, Nicole Nance, Pielbox, 3785, Paducah, Kentucky, 4202. We also have an Instagram @ Tadpog_Podcast. I need to take a picture of these plums. - Yeah. - Galen, I think so. - It is moved by second-word drive. - What can a link to that track be found? - By it's in the show notes. - Where's that at? - Tadpog.com. - Yeah. - There you go. - All right, the answer's just time. I finally knew them all. - So how'd you guys want to close this out? - Like Whitney Houston. - All right. ♪ In the ♪ - We're done. I'm glad that you said that because my suggestion was going to be a lot worse. - Oh, what was your suggestion gonna be? - Everyone eat a plum. - No. (laughing) - It's a tropical gap with the corn. - No, no, no. I did it once. I'm done. - Now let's mash those two ideas together. (laughing) - What do you guys? I wonder what it would sound like. (laughing) If Whitney Houston ate the Star Wars plum in the world, I think it's at all levels, I don't know how you can ask. (laughing) You got your chocolate and my peanut butter. (laughing) Give me a cigarette. Oh, I think I heard Whitney Houston. (laughing) Give me the sourest thing in the world. All off of 'em. - No, the uber bushy sound was falling off. - All right, you're good. - Nima, what's the job you would like to have? - What's the pressure? - I tend to stop it. It's okay. (laughing) - Can you get an oasis song? (laughing) - 10 to 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 1, 2. (laughing) - So until next time. - Tropicorn! - Tropicorn! - Tropicorn! - Well, we all did the same thing. - Harmony! - Yeah. - Avicata! (laughing) - Oh my god. - I love all of you. - That was fun. - That was fun. - Okay. (upbeat music) - Oh my god. - Oh my god. - There's modern Seinfeld, but the one that I really love is Seinfeld 2000. - That, yeah. - Which is the one that is like, just insanity where the guy is like, he's every 20th tweet or something like that is like Jerry get iPad.