Rhythm Master Paul “Walking Simpsons Encyclopedia” Corn and Soul Sister Yarn Sorceress join us to talk about The Simpsons Arcade game by Konami. We kinda talk about the game but we mainly talk about The Simpsons in general…and gooders.
TADPOG: Tyler and Dave Play Old Games
Ep. 298 – The Simpsons Arcade Game
Hi there, listener. You're about to experience Tadpog, Tyler and Dave played games, and there will be plenty of game talk. But also, copious amounts of crude, off-color, offensive, and immature speech. So if you are of a rather sensitive, humor constitution, or just letting you know what you're in for with this show, it has games. It has jokes. You know, just games and jokes. Take the games, take the jokes, and have a good time. Hello Internet, and welcome to another Tadpog podcast. Did I get on that? Was that muted? Was it good? The line where your phone was connected, was connected, wasn't muted. So we're getting some feedback. Alright, now we're good. And some more. As long as you don't touch that thing, we're good. No one touched this thing. It's not allowed. We're talking about people's dicks. No, we can touch all those that we want. Actually, we have some people we like you to meet. Come here, guys. Good old-fashioned dig touching going on. We're doing our own version of, like, gay people touch of a genre, people touch a dig for the first time. Wait, what? Oh, yeah. Those were, I mean, I've seen, like, gay men touch vaginas for the first time, and gay women touch penises for the first time. It was a whole series of videos. It's pretty interesting. You put your hands in the, like, the whole... We're finding something we get home. This is like a Fine Brothers video. It's cut off at the waist. So you just see, like, the woman like reaching down and like, this is, it's weird, spongy, but I'll move up. Like, they describe it. It's an entertainment. Just wait. It's like a hairy mushy peach. Gotta wait for it to get happy. But what's up, Internet? It's, it's a tap-box podcast. We did a show. That was twice a week. We're doing, we're sort of doing a show this week. This week, we talked about it in The Simpsons. This is our Simpsons arcade episode. There are, we have our two foremost Simpsons experts. Goddamn right. Foremost, absolute. The best that they could find. Rhythm Master. Yeah, well, that's a, yeah. Rhythm Master Park corn and soul sister yarn sorceress. Shandra. How's it going, guys? It's going all right. It's going all right. Just chilling out here in the tadpug hot-rise. Pretty sure we're going to be murdered tonight, you know. Oh, positive. Our skin will be made into part of the wallpaper I'm guessing. That'll go on Instagram, right? That's how they get that nice ground color here. Okay, good. I'm surprised you gotta read them up. My brother's so quickly. Well, I should probably go and set this timer. Turns out that's why the dog liked me so much. That's how he she does. That's how he picks. No one will love me more than this. The dog will never love me even more than me. Yeah, because my brother has a golden doodle named Mia that was very excited to see Shandra. Very excited. He was so cute. Jesus, we dog. Oh, she was so cute. I won't go play with her some more. Bye, guys. Wait for the dicks sake. First the dicks then the dog bedding. Okay. We have rules here. First the gooder. You don't want such a good or a dog hand. It's the other way for help. I always wash your hands after petting a gooder. That's true. That's why I have a poodle. So before an intro for the intro this week, I told Dave I stumbled upon this via Facebook where I think would be a good quiz for all of us to take. Oh, thank God. So you don't have to tell another fucking story. I had no story. The quiz is what Final Fantasy job class are you? So this is like tactics or is this like Final Fantasy 14? I don't know. We're going to find out. We're going to find out if it's a good Final Fantasy or a shit one. As long as it's not 13, I'm fine. It's Buzzfeed quiz. Oh, so it's bad. And I previewed this. So have you looked at it yet? Not at all. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Maybe it just fucked up on my iPad, but it was like, it would ask a question and then like one of the answers would be like to rent the King of Queens season three. So I'm going to choose all of those. It's like an advertisement was an answer in the quiz. I hate those. Buzzfeed does that a lot. All right. So we'll start with Dave and Circle counterclockwise to me. Okay. All right. So what should your Final Fantasy job class be? Brought to you by... I genuinely thought that was the first question. I was about to get really angry, really salty, real fast. One question quiz. Dragoon dog. That's on stress. Dave, how well can you keep a secret? Not great. Okay. Decent. I'm not a gossip. All right. Secrets should be honored. Okay. I never tell. I never intentionally tell, but I take secrets to my grave. I don't really bother with secrets. People shouldn't hold on to secrets. Okay. I have too many of my own secrets to care about yours. So many answers. I have too many answers to remember. Yeah. I'll keep your secret and tell you one of mine. Okay, either secrets should be honored or I take secrets to the grave. One of those. So you pick, you know me, pick one. What's the... Out of those two, which do you think is more accurate? Which one's more Dave? Yeah. Which one's the Dave? Or any of those two? The essence of Dave. If I had to pick one based on your personality, I would probably say secret should be honored. All right. It's fair. Because I feel like you'll keep a secret for someone out of respect for them and not just like because it's a secret. Oh, that's very true. Yeah. That's very true. Paul. Well, if we're moving on to me, what was the second one? There was one that was kind of wishy-washy. Decent. I'm not a gossip. Yeah, that sounds like me. Yeah, that is him. I could answer that. Chandra. We're picking up a screen here. Option 14.5. We got a real screenpeaker over here. Well, because I can't remember them all off the top of my head. I know mine was one of the later ones today. I have too many secrets to keep. Do you care about yours? Yeah. All right. Chandra, open up to us today. Babe, I'm a lesbian. What? Yeah. No, I don't think- You did the reverse chasing me. The chasing mark. So you're saying that after me, no other man would do. Yes, I am the ultimate male. I want that as a shirt with the face that you need, with the the gesture. This is what a squirrel can do. The little wall is so gross. I'm going to say I never intentionally tell, but because I'm good with, hey, this is a secret. Don't tell anybody, but I'm very bad with implied secrets or sensitive things. Yeah. Because I just fucking talked, so I want to make people laugh. I just don't give a shit about it. Anybody else's secrets is pretty much why I went with that. Dave, you've won a vacation with all expenses paid. Wait, wait, what? Is this real or is it quite? Why don't you tell me this before we start a recording? Where is it to? I guess fuck all you guys. See, I'm going to touch all the dicks all the way out. Like coming out of the basketball court. No, you do that thing where you're in the middle of like two lines. Exactly. That's how you do it. And then the the p-hole style like paper for you to bust through it. You've won a vacation with all expenses paid. Great. Who would you want to take with you? Ben Savage. That is an answer. All right. You've got all my friends. I'd prefer to go alone. All your friends? All of my I'd prefer to go alone. All right. Just my very best friend. Okay. My family. One of my siblings. Okay. My parents. Just one of my parents. I hate to travel. Okay. And my cat. Oh, wow. They threw a curveball in at the end. I'm conflicted. I got to go. I got to bring my family. I got to bring I got to bring the crew. All right. It also depends on where we're going though. Yeah, that's definitely that definitely changes my biggest bunny ranch. So my family. Paul. Yeah, Paul. I would have to say it would be just one of my friends. You know, it depends on the location determines which one of my friends I would bring I would say. Bunny ranch. Yeah. I don't think I would bring chandra to the bunny ranch. She just said that she was a lesbian. See, I think chandra would be a very good person. I actually wouldn't mind going to the bunny ranch. I think it would be cool to go. Yeah. I think chandra would be good person. I think the menages in Nashville. Don't grimace. I don't know what that is. That's the swingers club in Nashville. Oh, no. That'll be in the show. Oh, yeah. I know about that and you don't. You know what? I had a friend show me that and I don't remember the name. Or menages. Maybe just saying it incorrectly. I have known some friends very good. So just my very best friend then, Paul. Yeah. Yeah, I'll say that. Chandra. Um, let me see. It would depend on where I'm going. If I brought my parents. Don't look at me. My cat. No. Um, my very best friend. Is your cat. What if your cat is your very best friend? What would you say? My very best friend. Just my best friend. Just chances are I would probably bring Paul. Oh, I know. That is sweet. I'm going to say all my friends because I personally, I always hate leaving people out. Yeah. That's why my gaming groups are too big. Yeah. I hate it when my friends are in fighting and then somebody doesn't want someone else to come or I hate that shit. I always want everyone to come and everyone to have a good time. See, like, I'd almost want to say my family because my family would get pissed if I brought just Paul. But I also don't really want to go with all my family because my parents and grandparents are crazy. Well, when I said my family, I met Nikki and Henry. Yeah. Yeah. No, no. I mean, like right now, he's just my very best friend. Oh, you're my very best friend. You're a liar. You're also my cat and just one of my parents. Dave, choose a fictional creature. Griffin. Not Liger. There is a Chocobow, a Mughal. Diablos. Okay. Red 13. Kate. He's not a pet. He's not a creature. Kate Sith. Oh, okay. He's a robot. Yeah. Cactar. Okay. Something from pharmacy eight that is saying elixir, please. It's a lion looking thing. It looks like a please. It's called shit. I used to know what they were called. I used to know what those were called. Yeah, they look like chow was almost. Yeah. Someone's going to comment and be like, you motherfuckers, it's a blah, blah. The pharmacy nine character with a long tongue. His name is her. Her, his name is Kina. Kina. Kina my daughter. No, it's Kina. We did say anything. It's a chef. Yeah, it's a chef. It's a male or male female. It's one of those. And a creature I cannot identify. Change. Do you know what that is? That is. Oh, shit. They're from Final Fantasy eight. They're the lion looking motherfuckers. I think I want to say it's a name that's very similar to moogles. I almost want to say, but I can't remember. Boogles. No. It's like, shit. They're like a whole tribe of little people that they enslave somehow. I can't remember. They're awful. I'm going with moogle. As you should have told me, custom class in my very first D and D game, your wizards familiar. Guinness, the moogle. That's right. That's awesome. Paul. I would have to say chocoboe. That's the first thing that jumps out at me on that list. Chandra. Okay. Well, the lion thing from Final Fantasy eight, right? That long, lasting fiction. Here's the thing. Like red 13 and Kina are not pets. Well, it's a fictional creature. Okay. Fictional creature. Okay. I mean, Diablos is also not a pet. That's true. Maybe that's Bahamut. Bahamut. Yeah. I like the lion looking thing. They're cute. Okay. And they're sentient and talk to you kind of. Hardly. Baseline. They're baselines into it. I was playing Final Fantasy eight like last year, and I can't remember their name. Shit. Yeah, I know. I don't know what the other creature from Final Fantasy eight on that list is. What's it look like? Yeah, it looks like chow from Sonic. It's blue. A little blue alien with like a way of yellows. The yellow top on its head. I don't even remember that. Yeah. I just really want to knock it back from eight. They said elixir, please, and you would give them an elixir and they would give you, I can't remember if it was like a card or an item. The best. Okay. Just the best bludgeon that he ever had. I'm going to say red 13. He's pretty awesome. Dave. Yes, Tyler. How do you relax? Well, you know how I relax for 20 blazes. You know how I relax, Tyler, with your hand around my cock. That gives him anxiety. What will Senpai think of me? Actually, there's my Senpai. Oh, that's sweet. I guess. Two glasses ahead of me. So, plug in my headphones, drink probably, play video games, go outside and explore, go for a run or workout, spend the day at the park or beach, crack open a good book, eat something delicious, hang out with my friends. I am going to go with none of those. Where's the just jacket for three hours? Just a nice slow. Where's the casual masturbation? Yeah, that's eat something delicious. All right. Just beat your dick like you caught it breaking into your house. Mark me down for eat something delicious. That's what Mickey's doing. Hey, Oak. I would have to say play video games. I would have said that five years ago. Are you my future, Dave? That's a free tap on. Is this some kind of primer shit? I'm also going to say play video games. Yeah. I was playing Mortal Kombat today. It was pretty fun. I will say, hmm. In the context, because headphones, plug in my headphones. Just plug them in and crack open a good book. Because I know headphones is implying music, so I'm going to say crack open a good book. I like listening to audio books and driving. It doesn't, it just says plug in headphones. That's my fetish. Oh, driving aimlessly just having shit in my ears. Sometimes they don't have to be in my ears. I just plug them in. I just see where that little jack will fit. Dave, what a no-is-you more than anything. Birds. I feel like number one is probably going to be the really weird media favorite. All right, what is it? Deadlines. Yeah, deadlines suck. People who walk too slow, people without manners, people who don't like dogs and cats, lazy people, huge crowds, willful ignorance, being broke, rude people. Being broke also sucks. Where is all of the above? I'm not being broke. I'm like, oh, I'm so annoyed. I don't have any money. I'm like, oh shit, I have no money. Well, I'm like, oh God, I'm so annoyed. I have to make a Craigslist post. Guess I got to take one of these modeling jobs. Yes, I will go with deadlines. That sounds like a good one. Paul? Yeah, I think I know which one, but go ahead and say. No, no, go ahead. Go ahead. I want to see your vision of me. Willful ignorance. Yeah. Yeah. Will Fergrins? Just he hates it. Like, nothing will get him pissed off more than if he thinks someone is being stupid for the sake of being stupid. Oh, you hate this show. No, like, I mean, there was a guy who screamed. We went to see the Spider-Man movie. With Andrew Garfield, the first one. Yeah. And this guy just screams out Leroy Jenkins. And the entire time this movie is going up, this is the previews. Paul is just like, I don't know why he had to fucking say that. He was so angry. I'm just like, it's okay. Yeah. Yeah. He was this, the entire time. I just like, what the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? You're visibly upset now. It didn't make any goddamn six. Was it during like a concession commercial or something? Pretty much. He was so pissed off. Like, you're just like, it's ruined this whole evening for me. You guys drove down here. It's a long drive back. Good thing I sleep. Andrew, what about you? Will Fergrins is pretty high up there. Not people who don't like dogs and cats. That's also really high up there. I'm not people who don't like dogs and cats I can almost deal with for a minute. But lazy people just fuck them. Fuck them all. You also don't like this show. No, I'm thinking like out. Best day of Shenzhen, I'm not friends anymore. No, I'm thinking like at work. People who are just lazy. I want to just throttle them. Okay. And I guess I will say huge crowds. Yeah. Mine is just my shotgun con, right? Well, yeah, well, Dragon con is, I can deal with that because then it's just like lines and shit. Yeah. Like whenever I was like at the national mall on the 4th of July, that was, or like at some concerts, like it's not as bad as it used to be for me. But like, it makes it sound like a huge introvert. And I'm not. Yeah. Just don't, yeah, huge crowds are just don't. That would have been my second answer. And Dave, what is your inner demon? Uh, bath in it. Yep, there we go. Porn addiction. Yeah, that one. I wish I could adopt all the needy animals. There's your changer. I worry I'm not dedicated enough. I struggle to achieve balance with nature. Well, don't we all? Self-doubt. I fear my own awesome power. I'm afraid I won't leave my mark on the world. I worry I'm not as smart as I think I am. I'm too materialistic. I try too hard to make everyone happy. Self-doubt. Self-doubt. That's what, that's what I was thinking you were going to say. Yeah. Can you go through them again? Sorry. I wish I could accept all, adopt all the needy animals. Not dedicated enough. Struggle to achieve balance with nature. Self-doubt. Fear my own awesome power. That's it. I'm afraid I won't leave my mark on the world. Not as smart as I think I am. Too materialistic. Try too hard to make everyone happy. Not as smart as I think I am. I was going to say that for you too. Chandra. I can't adopt all the needy animals. That's what I thought. I'm learning a lot about everybody. I was literally thinking about that today on the drive home from class. I wish I could adopt all the poor little kitties and puppies. And I'm going to say, and Paul who's never grown up with animals is just like that. And I worry I'm not dedicated enough. We all four got different classes. Oh my gosh, the quiz is over. That's it. That was short. Bus feed. Dave, you got- Give me your bus feed a shout out. All the good work they do, they do delicious with it. Dave, you got- Bard. Bard? Sweet. Yeah. Bards get a sort of bad rap, but you're awesome. You're friendly and charismatic and your friends are all insanely jealous of your talent. You're definitely a lover, not a fighter, and that's awesome. That is true. You're the pastanada of this group. It just means you're not going to die in battle. You're amazing. All right. And I give some sweet XP bonus when you're in the jungle fighting plants. Yeah. Let's see. Paul, you got scholar. Yeah. Hey, nerd. Just kidding. These turds into like a giant- This is a giant- This is a fucking nerd. Hey, nerd. How big you're fucking dick. You piece of shit. Hey, nerd. Just kidding. You're great. You're thirst for knowledge and love to read. You can barely keep track of all the articles you bookmarked to read later. It could be hard to watch a movie with you because you're always interject with interesting tidbits about the actors and sets. I sound like the worst. It changes not vigorously. You're intelligent, but you're not annoying about it, which is why people always come to you for advice. Scholar. She's not the worst. Just really close. Ranger. Monk. Monk. Oh, wow. So she has OCD and solves crimes? That sounds about right. She is totally slow. I have OCD. I have OCD. Pull your mask off right now. Show us your true form, Tony. You're dedicated to your work, almost to the point of being a workaholic. People tell you to slow down, but you know, there's no way that's possible. You're happy when you're producing and you love what you do. You've got it. You've got your life organized and maybe you don't understand how satisfying your life is. You strive for a balance of work, love, and family, and you're doing a pretty bang up job. Keep at it. Yeah. You had a really like nice one. Yeah, I know. Yeah, that was good. That was awesome. I got Geo-Mancer. Oh, and immediately off, I disagree. All right. Fuck this quiz. I hate interracial porn. You're not a fan of Lexington Steel. Bailey J is a huge turnoff. You love nature and animals. I love animals. I don't really care about nature. There's bears out there. Fuck nature. You adore being outdoors. And if you don't have a pet that you love, getting one is all you think about. People don't, people who don't recycle, drive you up the wall and truly believe piece of each either someday through enough effort and understanding. That's a bunch of, I don't see how any of them, I didn't say that anything about animals. I didn't see anything about going out and taking hikes in nature. None of them, it sounds more like Bulbasaur took the test. I mean, I guess the last part, I believe world peace could be achieved someday through enough effort and understanding. I guess that I agree with. But everything about going outside is just like, fuck no. Yeah. It's a pretty cool class though. Yeah. I do like Geo-Mancer or Geomancer. Geomancer. That's all I like to say. Uh oh, don't jump it. Geomancer, like Jeffrey. Jeffrey-Mancer. The Jeffrey-Dama-Mancer. It's all holes in people's heads and make them your sex slaves. Just for a little while. There's like an oil drum ultimate or something like that. This is getting dark. Yeah, you're welcome. Bard y'all. Just bardin' over here. You're so talented with bringing everybody down there. It's just bardin'. You want to talk about the Simpsons? Nope. Tell us about the Simpsons arcade a little bit. Can we talk about bard holes? I've got a five star review to read you at the end of the show. I know, I read it, that's what I mentioned. Oh no. Let's skip all the mediocre game talk. You go right to the butt hole. Someone talked about someone's rusty sheriff's badge. What? Yeah, that's the name for a butt hole. Mercy sheriff's badge. Okay. I'd like to see a butt hole with just like five points on it. That's a name I've heard for a butt hole at night. The rusty sheriff's badge, the wagon wheel. We're listening. No, I'm trying to keep other ones. Keep going. Damn it. We can't have all run. Oh man, I'm out there. The dirty rosebud. Ooh, that's a good one. I used to know a lot of them. Chocolate starfish. Yeah. Do you know any, Paul? I don't know any offhand, sorry. Paul, we need our butt hole commentary. Boy, wait man. Boy, I don't enjoy, but I know Amy Schumer uses a turd cutter. I like that. Yeah, like turd cutter. It reminds me of like some kind of me. You know, cutting turds. You got a machine that cuts turds. I think of like a cigar cutter. Yeah. Those scared me because they, that's how I imagine, like that's the same way they circumcised babies, right? They just put it right in one of those. I don't, I don't remember mine. Yeah, no, me. They give you a cigar. You're mad now. I think it's an apparatus similar to that. Yeah. But we meet, I mean, we use cigar cutters in the lab just to cut labels, but. Do the moist operate it exclusively? No, not usually. I mean, maybe one to two. I don't know. Do you read about the outbreak of herpes among babies because moist would have like herpes on their mouth? Oh. And like the traditional thing is the moist. We'll cut it and seal the wound with their mouth. Right. They are passing on herpes, the babies. Oh, that's all. Yeah, it's fucking awful. Yeah, poor babies. Well, there are a lot of weird things about that. Not to like, yeah, trample on a religion or anything, but. Let's start with the mouth. Let's not put our mouth on a baby's wiener, please. I think that's a good starting clip. What, science? No, no, no, no, no. This trot and true baby, the mouth penis. The trot and true method for the last thousands of years. This baby's mouth penis needs some attention. That's a good band name. You know, no, it's not. It's my trot, a child's pee hole, but I call the baby's mouth penis. Do you make it sing? Jesus, I don't want to know what you're writing down as a show note right now. You just have to go to the show notes. 20 hours of circumcision documentary. I started a YouTube channel. It's strictly, strictly just my penis karaoke. I would watch that. For every $20 on Dave's dick singing Patreon, you can pick a song. Oh, watch out, guys. I think he's getting sick. Oh, so I don't have too much to drink. Let's work it out. Dave's penis cast Pearl. It's going to say it has to sing that song from Final Fantasy X2 when she's giving the concert. Not the Opie song. It's like in the middle of the game. I was just thinking firework, you know. I feel like your penis has that range. Dave, do you hear that? I got a pretty good range. I do hear that. I don't know any more of that song, though. Oh, that's the winner song. Sing Katy Perry songs. I do. I do hear the sound of my winner singing Katy Perry songs, which, of course, everyone knows Ushers in a segment that we like to call Dave Reads and Wikipedia. Okay, guys. These Simpsons parentheses video game. The Simpsons is an arcade beat 'em up developed by Konami released in 1991 in the second video game based on the Simpsons franchise following Bart versus the Space Mutants. Oh, yeah, that piece of shit. Classic. The game allows up to four players to control members of the Simpson family as they fight various enemies in order to rescue the kidnapped Maggie. The game was ported to the Commodore 64 and MS-DOS soon after its launch in the arcades. The game was released on Xbox Live Arcade and PlayStation Network in February 2012. However, it has since been removed from both services. Just like X-Men, Konami. Just pull the plug. Got both those shits though. Yeah. Yeah. There's segments on plot, gameplay, legacy, and reception. I'm sure we'll get to that. So what's ever, I'm sure everybody's here maybe because they have a history with this game somewhat. Yeah, I definitely remember this from when I was a kid. So let's, yeah, round table. What's your, what's your first memory of this, the Simpsons arcade game? I mean, for me, it was like a staple at all the skating rinks when I was a kid. And that was a big thing for us to go to in elementary school. So it was always there. So between me falling on my ass, which was constant, I'd go and play some Simpsons. It was usually either Marge or Lisa. Okay, all right. I like this for real power. You get it. Yeah, yeah. Had to represent my ladies. I get it. Was it, did you like them in the show or you just liked them in the arcade? I loved Lisa in the show. Okay, I also love Lisa. Yeah. Go ahead, Paul. Okay. I remember seeing this for the first time when I was a kid. We, I used to live in Illinois, but we would come down here because most of my families around Nashville. And there was an arcade in the Bellevue Mall called Tilt. Most of the arcades back when malls had arcades were called Tilt around there. But they had that. They had the X-Men arcade game. They had like the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. And I just remember being like, "Holy shit, Simpsons!" You know, like, because as far back as I can remember, I've just constantly been watching Simpsons. You know, I have no idea how my parents let me watch that show. Yeah, no idea how your mother let you watch that show. My mom is the churchiest church lady you have ever come across. Is this the cartoon? But yeah, I remember just loving that, you know, that this is a thing that I can put money into and play as characters. For some reason, I really liked playing as Lisa. Like, I'm swinging the, swinging the jump rope around and all that. That, that just, for some reason, that spoke to me, man. Yeah, so I get it. That's what I wanted to do. Make sure you want to use the jump rope on your brother. Well, the one time that I hit him, it was with the croquetball. That was a, yeah, way, way later that I should have known better. I hit my brother with a croquetball in the back. I want to say your sister-in-law told me about that and witnessed it. No, she didn't witness it. Okay. Before they were dating, but she may have been told about that. Okay. I'm happy that you can joke about it now. He's been dead for several years. Now that you've been acquitted, we can all have a good laugh. 100%. Man's slaughter. Voluntary. Oh, man. But yeah, and, like, that was the first time I saw it, and then it was always at Pizza Hut whenever I was, you know, back in Illinois. And I would always get, like, through the first level of it, because I don't think I would ever play that game with more than 50 cents on hand, because that's what my parents would give me for an arcade. Sometimes I could, could you all more out of them, but it was always, like, in installments. So by the time I got more money, the continue is over. And I was just like, yeah, this is not. You've taken a loan out with interest? Yeah, so. Well, Pa, I don't know if you really need to do another round. My dad is not a Georgian. Shut up. Yeah, right. My first experience with this game was actually the MS-DOS version. And it was pretty awesome, actually. I remember playing it. I used to waste a lot of money. I say waste. My dad said that I wasted a lot of money playing arcade games, because he couldn't understand, like, I just put quarters into it, and then I wouldn't get anything physical for it. Like, it was just like, I guess you couldn't understand. I was paying for an experience. They don't pay you to play Nintendo. That's right. So, man, I heard that a lot. It's almost that far. I remember that far side. I know. I loved it. That's my favorite far side. The kid plans to know the parents having the dream cloud above all the want ads of $10,000 an hour for expert Nintendo player. Opens availability immediately, like, just tons of ads. Yeah, well, you know what? Here's the thing about that. It's like, I know a lot of kids got that from their parents. But like, no one fucking pays them to throw sticks at each other in the woods. I don't get the fucking big deal. No one pays my dad to joy ride cars around the crowd at home. So, yeah, I owned this on the PC. They bought it for me because they... This way, I wouldn't waste my allowance in the arcade. But I still played it in the arcade, where it was certainly better. It was good on the PC, but it was certainly better in the arcade. Man, Konami was my fucking jam when I was a kid, dude. It was good back in the day. In Ninja Turtles, arcade game, fucking X-Men, the Simpsons. You had any one of those in the arcade, and it's like, yes, bring it on. Sunset riders. Well, I mean, there's an exception to every rule I think. Sorry, I just had to throw that out there. Round-table pizza staple, sunset riders. My first... Now they're just making pachinko machines. Fucking Konami. My first experience was at the local... It's a Miskin restaurant now, but it used to be a Mr. Gaddies. And at the Mr. Gaddies, they had the Simpsons arcade and Pit Fighter. Oh, Pit Fighter. Oh, man. Oh, boy. The third grade, uh, summer of third grade after 4-H camp. That's when Ashley Shake and I became friends. And then afterward, he called my house and invited me to go out to Mr. Gaddies and stuff like that. And we played a lot of the Simpsons, ate a bunch of pizza. It was great. I loved that game. Couldn't get very far. But I remember, like, sometimes I take a break. I mean, I played this game throughout years going to that Mr. Gaddies. I don't think I ever got beyond Dreamland at that location. Yeah. And then, um, occasionally I would stop and play Pit Fighter and think I was gonna be really awesome at it. Never could beat the first... First guy. Never could get like halfway, like nothing. Nothing on fucking Pit Fighter. And I've... I want to do Pit Fighter for the Super Nintendo because that is... legendary in its awfulness. Well, the arcade game's super sweet, though. Oh, yeah. So, like, it looks just like a real dude. So photorealistic. Oh, man. Did you get on the forklift on a pallet? But then the first time I beat the game was we had a place called Pocket Change in the Mall. It was open for a long time, shut down. And then it came back up with half the arcade machines on it. It was in there for a few months. Yeah. We'll close that again. But the first time I actually beat the Simpsons, uh, using quarters, not like free play or anything like that, it was... It was with you, Dave. We went and played with four of us. We went and played together and beat it. And it was great. It was. It was really great. Yeah, it was fun. I had never beat it in the arcade either. Mm-hmm. So that was... That was a magical moment. And I don't feel like it cost us a lot of money. No, it didn't. So, I mean, maybe Max, like, $5. I was thinking, yeah, probably like around $4, $5. Yeah. Yeah. Worth it, my dad was really mad. I didn't tell him. I knew it would happen for years. And then I finally broke. Yeah. So everybody, generally, everybody loves it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What else do you want to say? So that's it. I guess I always enjoyed playing as Marge. Just because I love... Oh, yeah. Wacking people in the face with a vacuum, wielding a vacuum cleaner. I fucking destroyed the thing that Chandra started. Because I forgot to mention my favorite character. I love playing as Bart. As a kid. And then when I replayed it for this episode, I played as Homer. And that was a mistake. Because I don't think he's very good. Yeah. Eh. I should have gone with Bart. He just uses his fists. Yeah. It's not that interesting. No, it's not. Like Paul and I, we played it at Game Galaxy this weekend. And I was... Somebody had maxed out all the lives on the free play machine. So they were all at 99 live. So we beat the whole game. I was Lisa and Bart. And Paul was... I thought going to be Marge and Homer. I was Marge and Homer. You were Homer. Marge helped Homer. You were Homer. So wait, were you both controlling two? I was controlling two at the same time. One of us copped out and played one at the same time. How were you doing that? So I was doing it kind of like Brothers, where I was basically... Like, you know how Brothers has the two analog sticks. I was just using the analog sticks and pressing the button. I'm picturing giving two hands. Yeah, I know. It's like trying to show it. I'm jerked off two guys like a lot, but I was a lot of skiing. Hey, if I jerked two guys off, can you play Lisa and Bart for me? Like in some levels, I was just placing them and then just mashing attack. But I mean, most of the time I was able to kind of half-assily move them around. Okay. So Paul, I thought I did pretty good for controlling two characters. Wait, why did... Oh, you had to do it. Yeah, because they had maxed out on. Yeah, when you max out lives, after you beat the game, it just starts back at level one and they walked away from the machine. So that everybody has 99 plus lives. Got you. And you can't move on restart. Yeah, you can't move on without all four characters going together. How cool would it have been to like, just stop what you're doing right there and like place an ad on Craigslist. You're looking for two people to play the Simpsons arcade game, starting immediately. People are just like, this is some kind of weird sex. Yeah, I'm not sure. I'm not up on the code, but they want me to play Lisa. No, no, they're not playing Lisa, then Lisa and mine. But yeah, like what I was doing with my two characters is, you know, I'd have a large walk up next to Homer and then they do like their team up attack. They'd kiss. Like where they'd fuck all across. Yeah, angry sex all across the screen. Just like Bart and Lisa do too. If like the pair up attacks, like if you have the two characters stand next to each other for a moment, they'll link arms or in the case of, like the kids will link arms and then they can just kind of bash through enemies over their way through these mobsters, I'm assuming. Margin Homer, like get into it like a ball and have angry sex over everyone. And I mean, if you pause it, like you can move them. Yeah, you can like pause their animation and it just looks wrong. Yeah, like they look like they are so angry there together, but they've been with this long enough. They're going to keep going. Just like fuck the hate out of each other. They're probably angry because they're having sex with all of their clothes on. That's also going to be really angry. That's a fetish, that's a fetish. And then like if you do a kid in the parents, they'll just carry the kid, the parent will carry the kid on their head and then throw them because that's what you do with your children. I mean, they've already lost one kid. I mean, every bird, I mean, every game throws eggs. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, they like bounce back and forth across the screen 'cause like night crawlers teleport attack. Yeah. That is the best thing about the game, I think, is like the team up attacks. 'Cause it's like Ninja Turtles doesn't have that, X-Men, I mean, they don't have that. Like that makes it unique. I shouldn't say the best thing about it, but right. Yeah, and it's a nice unique thing that you don't see with beat 'em up so a lot. Which kind of, when you play with The Simpsons, you're like, why don't more games have this? 'Cause it's a co-op game. So why shouldn't you be able to team up with your friend and be like, let's do this together. We're stronger as a pair. And it's fucking neat too. It is too. Yeah. 'Cause I guess we didn't mention like, let's see, 'cause Homer uses this, March is a vacuum cleaner, Bart has a skateboard. Yeah. And you said Lisa has the jump rope. Right. So that makes me wonder why Homer doesn't use, I don't know, a bowling ball. Or beer. Yeah, beer, yeah, beer mug would be good. I did, in the first level, I did have him try to pick up the police car. Unfortunately, he could not do it. (laughing) Instead, I was gifted with a wonderful animation of what looked like Homer having sex with the police car. (laughing) It just wasn't that cool. See, I wish the release on consoles would have been a little more like Castle Crashers in that you could eventually unlock other Simpsons characters to play through it. That would be really interesting. That would be really interesting. Unlike Barney, 'cause you said beer mug goes like, well, that would have been nice. And they're like, we don't like money. Take it off. Take it off. A little bit of the Pachico machines. Work on all the-- That is Konami. Hey guys, we have a new-- Oh, listen, awesome Silent Hill trailer. Okay, great. Okay, we're gonna pull it. Yeah, no, we have, guys want a new Silent Hill installment. Wait for it, Silent Hill Pachico. (laughing) Who's happy? No one. Japanese businessman. No, they're happy. That's our target demographic now, Konami. You know. You mean Tadpogs. (laughing) It's extremely Japanese business. Now we're just gonna have to, just be gonna high voice and eat things for the whole rest of the game. Is that why you guys had me take my panties off? (laughing) No, no. I need to eat this roast bean sandwich covered in barbecue sauce with your mouth open. It's the weirdest commercial for Arby's we've ever made. (laughing) Okay. You wanna, okay, well, the story of this game. So, for some reason, billionaire Mr. Burns has smithers still a diamond for him. Yeah, mm-hmm. That's just in the regular jewelry shop at Springfield. Yeah, it's not even you see him or anything. Yeah, no. Yeah. On the way out, The Simpsons Family collides with smithers. The diamond flies out of smithers' hands and lands in Maggie's mouth. Right. Where she uses it as a pacifier. So, of course, they have to grab Maggie and take Maggie because that seal that a baby creates, no one wasn't here, baby, cry. So, just literate the diamond will take the baby. At no point do they even try to remove the diamond. No. They're just like, "Nope, this is part of it now. "This is part of it." So, now the Simpsons. We own your baby and the diamond. Or on a very weird quest across Springfield to save Maggie? Yep. I guess. Yeah. It's questionable if they really save her. She does go back with that family. (laughing) And, spoilers for the end credits, but no one's carrying her. You go through all this shit. Yeah, she just walks alongside you. She falls a few times. Yeah, it's like nobody really cares. No. Like, she's next to Lisa and Lisa doesn't even turn around. Like, oh, the baby that we've just spent all day trying to get back, fell down. Man, fuck her. We've murdered a lot of people to get this child back. A lot of people that look like Conan O'Brien. (laughing) And Andy Richter, strangely enough. So, yeah. Yeah. Old Andy Richter. (laughing) I don't, that, like, I still like, what, it was just like Conan O'Brien. There's like millions of them. Was it like an homage to him as a writer? And he broke the Simpsons, yeah. So, maybe. Yeah. It's possible. I would like to know who designed those characters. If it was somebody at Konami or if they had like, some design laying around that they're just like, "We're never gonna use this guy here." Did you just say, "Designly?" What? Did you just say, "Use the word "designling?" I did not say that, but then I liked it. So, I think you should take credit for it. (laughing) Well, it's like the whole thing, like, March, if she gets zapped, do you see her rabbit ears? Yep, yep. That's something. 'Cause of that. 'Cause that was a holdover from the show. Wasn't it, we were gonna like do it as a joke? Yeah, the original concept. Go ahead, go ahead, Simpsons expert. Yeah, at least some Simpsons knowledge. Yeah, like, Matt Groening, one of Matt Groening's original ideas, 'cause he, before Simpsons, he was doing a comic strip called Life in Hell, and like, most of the characters in that were rabbits. Like, the guys that you see in Crusty Land. Right. Like, Bongo the rabbit and whatnot. And the idea was that Marge's hair covered up rabbit ears, and that was gonna be something that they revealed like, at the end of the series, and they're just like, "No, that's stupid, you know?" But probably a good call. They still could, not over yet. (laughing) Oh, babe, it's still not over. I think that isn't how they in the Scomsons. (laughing) Oh, babe. But yeah, that, like, when she gets electrocuted, and like, sometimes, 'cause occasionally, like, certain people's weapons will jam, for lack of a better term. You know, like, Lisa will get tangled up in her jump rope sometimes, and Marge, like, her hair will get caught in the vacuum cleaner. Yeah. Like, you can kind of see that Ears poking out there, too. Doesn't happen to Homer. Yeah, 'cause he's pretty boring. He never, he never rolls a one, so. I think when this game was made, like, Homer did not have any personality, like, beyond, like, "Uh, well, he's a bad dad." (laughing) He's sort of a dumb guy. Yeah, that's all the dimension we need, right? Run with it. What if he just strangled everybody? That was his weapon. You know, he's pretty sweet. Yeah, when, where in the series, where were they in the series when the arcade went out? They would have been in, like, the second or third season, wouldn't they? Yeah, 'cause it came out, what, '90s? It came out '91? Yeah, it came out in '91, so they probably were in, like, the-- It started in the '88, didn't it? Probably the second season, right? (sighing) It came out '88 or '89. I know I was, like, a year old or something. Yeah, but, like-- So when they started development, they only would have been in, like, second or third. Mm-hmm, definitely. It was definitely before the third season was over that they would have started developing this game. Nice. A really important question. Who did you think shot Mr. Burns? Burning suit, I-- (laughing) Yeah, I'm trying to remember who I thought. Oh, man. While we were thinking, do you remember when the first half of that episode aired, they put a Power Rangers music video after it? No. I do not remember that. That was, like, because the Power Rangers movie was coming out, like, that, you know, and they were doing, like, press for it at about that time when that season was ending. And so, you know, watch the season finale of "The Simpsons," followed by some '90s pop band that will never be remembered. Oh, they're gonna be at the show now. We're gonna find it. But, anyway, yeah, so that was a thing. But, I thought it was Lisa. Just throwing it out there. I thought it was Lisa. I didn't think it was Lisa 'cause I loved Lisa. I think I thought it was Smithers. Yeah, I think that's who I thought it was. I think, I mean, I was stupid in, like, six or seven. I think at the time, I thought it was Grandpa. Yeah? 'Cause I'm trying to remember, I don't know. I just remember his gun in particular. I don't know. I don't have any logic to support that. That's funny. It was a long time ago. Yeah. I didn't watch "Much Simpsons Until College," so, like, 2003. Because my parents banned it from the house and couldn't watch it. Also, one of the few shows I couldn't watch at Josh's house because, like, his dad yelled at me for watching "The Simpsons" over there. So, not until I moved in with Jacob and had access to his Simpsons DVD collection. So, I just didn't have time to theorize. You didn't pause it? I just watched all the episodes. Wait, wait, wait, wait. You didn't pause it? I'd be like, "I'm gonna wait all summer." Yeah. Just trying to figure it out. You did that. I'm gonna write several newspaper articles about it. I'm gonna get odds in Vegas on this thing. Gonna have the host of "America's Most Wanted" do a special on it. All right, time marker 10, 12. You notice that Smithers cuts a glance at Mr. Burns. Well, what does this mean, exactly? It was so weird, like you saying, that it was banned when you were a kid. I had a friend that I used to work with when I worked at a retail store in Oklahoma. He was a year younger than me. I was 22. He was 21. He lived with his parents still, 'cause he was going to college. He was not allowed to watch "The Simpsons." (laughing) Yeah. Yeah. Okay. He could not watch, I mean, of course he watched it, but-- He's a-- Oh! Oh! He's a surgeon now. I was like, well, I thought it first maybe-- With all that edge, you know. I thought it first-- He doesn't mean he's a scalpel. I thought it first it was because he had a five-year-old sister and like a 10-year-old brother at home. And I was like, oh, is it 'cause of that? And he's like, no, I've never been able to watch "The Simpsons." (laughing) Okay, so Tyler, I'm assuming you probably couldn't watch "Beavis and Butt-head." Oh, no, no. Yeah, I'd be able to "Buthead," "South Park." Yeah. "South Park" was the only one I frequently would get away with, though. Yeah. I remember the first time I made a cum joke was because I heard the word cum on "Beavis and Butt-head." And I did not know what it meant. So I said it to my dad at dinner when he said something about, you know, "Come here," or something like that. And I was like, "Huh-huh, cum." And he looked shocked. (laughing) 'Cause I remember, 'cause like he looked shocked and I remember as soon as I saw his expression, I was like, "Oh, what did I say?" (laughing) What fucked up, son? What does that mean? And then he looked at me and he was like, "I didn't know you knew what that meant." And I was thinking, "I don't." (laughing) "Of course, dog." (laughing) "Never know my life, I was raised in the streets." (laughing) Like I think the only thing my parents really, it wasn't even my parents didn't allow me to watch a lot of stuff. I think the only one they were like, "Please don't watch this was South Park." Oh, yeah. That was like the only one they were like, "We'd prefer it if you didn't watch this." I was just like, "That's fine. "I'm not missing out on anything." - And along the lines of your story, Dave, I remember being little and, you know, not knowing how genitals worked, period. (laughing) I remember like-- - That's what pee comes out. (laughing) - My mom is in the, I must have heard it on TV or something, and not knowing how it worked. My mom was in the bathroom like putting on makeup, and I went in there and peed, and I remember as I was peeing, I just went, "Ugh, I'll let all this semen out." (laughing) (laughing) - And like, she like just stumps. (laughing) - I don't think you do. (laughing) - Please get that as a tattoo. (laughing) - And we'd explain the first time-- - Got to empty out everything out of these three-year-old balls. (laughing) - Yeah, he explains like the second time I tried to masturbate 'cause the first time I thought I'd just peed in a really cool way. (laughing) So I chucked on that orange juice that went to go, like, jerked off and peed as like, "This is not good to say." (laughing) - All right, I've got a story for you. I remember kind of remember being in middle school and peeing at the urinal, and looking over at the guy next to me who is also peeing at set. - At the huge black man that should-- (laughing) - Excuse me, Mr. (laughing) (laughing) - Could you help me shake this? (laughing) Look at the guy next to me and saying, you know what, sometimes I hold my pee in because that's what sex feels like. (laughing) - I remember hearing that joke on "The Jerkerry Show." Really, that was a, that was a thing. I didn't know that, yeah. - He ripped you off. (laughing) - I'm pretty sure the person standing next to "The Jerkerry." (laughing) - It's a brilliant kid. (laughing) - You tell a masturbation story. (laughing) - Oh man. - What about the first time you jerked off? How shameful did you feel? - Very, very shameful. - I would've met. - Yeah, no, no, I, (laughing) I went through that too. - Yeah, no, no, I went through the whole thing where, well, if I don't come, it doesn't count, that was a legitimate thing. - Perpetual edgy. - Yup, yup, yup, yup. - So when you finally did-- - That's right, yeah. - That's a dark vibe on Mike. - It's a dark, it's a dark bath ball. (laughing) - Oh man. (laughing) - Like immediately, as soon as I would finish, I'd be like, oh, I can't do that again. I can sit again, I need to stop. I'm not gonna look at anymore porn, I'm not gonna do this, and that was good for like two hours. - Perpetual edgy. - Zero shame. - I remember the, when I was in middle school-- - You probably had a nice pair, it's two hours later, it was more wild on in rhythm games. (laughing) - I mean, I was like five. - The sound of the garage door opening was like, that was the warning, wrap it up. (laughing) - You still try to, every time Ryan's garage door, but you still go to put up your dick. - I do, yeah, I climax immediately. (laughing) - I get this done. (laughing) - It's so weird, but I was like five or something, five or six, and so I associated it with childbirth for some reason, I don't know why. It was like looking, I'm like that is fucking weird. - What, what comes in, must come out. (laughing) - I don't know. - What'd you say? - Now I know the truth, like no, it feels nothing like that. (laughing) - What you should have said when you-- - I mean, I think it doesn't feel anything like that. I mean, what, I have something to tell you. - What do you fucking, this feels like childbirth. (laughing) - So I was gonna tell you, babe, (laughing) you ready to meet your son, okay? (laughing) - You got that childbirth, poon girl. (laughing) - What you should have said when you were peeing in front of your mom is fucking didn't finish the job at the circumcision. (laughing) - Oh, fuck. - All right. - Simpson's? - Simpson. - We're done, right? (laughing) - There's one thing I'm curious about, so Paul, you're the Simpson encyclopedia. - Yeah, he is. - When you go through the levels and you tell me, are these actual characters? Has he ever been in it or they just arcade sprites? - Yeah, I could get some stuff for ya. - So like, the first level is like the boardwalk, but there's a boardwalk in Springfield. I think that's been a fabulous-- - Yeah, they've established that before. - The wrestler guy in a suit who drops off the lights and then he's a wrestler. - He is a Professor Werner von Braun. He was in an episode, he was in the "Dare Devil" episode if I remember correctly 'cause they're watching that match before the Monster Truck Rally and he gets hit in the head with a wrench by the bad guy, or maybe he was the one that used the wrench. Shit. - Oh shit, but he definitely shot Mr. Burns, bro. (laughing) - But yeah, no. - Bill Hawkins is gonna call your shit out. - Yeah, but yeah, that character was named Professor Werner von Braun. - Okay. - I have a follow up question for the boardwalk. Paul, can you explain to me why the psychologist from season one is working a food cart on the boardwalk? - I can't give you a good reason why that happened. Like he just-- - Did it not work out for him? - Yeah, he just kind of disappears for a really long while after like season one and then like-- - He's the electro shot guy, right? - What's that? - He's the electro shot guy. - Yeah? - But Marvin-- - Yeah. - Dr. Marvin. - Dr. Marvin Monroe died. - Yeah, but like-- - But his brother-- - Literally. - Yeah, like I think they confirmed that he died in the second part of the Who Shot Mr. Burns episode because they refer to a hospital as the Dr. Marvin Monroe Memorial Hospital. So yeah, he's dead, but they never really made a point of it except that one time when they're like, what two popular Simpsons characters died in the past year? If you said Bleeding Gums Murphy and Dr. Marvin Monroe, you are wrong. They were never popular. (laughing) - I love Bleeding Gums. - Yeah, I did too. - He comes back and tapped out. - Bleeding Gums? - I haven't played a lot of tapped out, so-- - Is he a Jedi ghost? - There is a ghost in it. - It's mod. - Yeah, mod Flanders is the ghost. - Gotcha. - And then Marvin Monroe, one of his jobs, like his two-hour job is convincing people he's not dead. (laughing) - That's good, I like that. - That's good. - Does mod appear as a ghost in the Simpsons, like in Canon, is she a ghost? - They have had, I remember they had an episode about Flanders kids, and at the end of it, it cuts to heaven where she's looking down and she's kind of happy, and then like a, "Ah shit, what's his name?" Just heaven celebrities show up and just kind of ruin the moment, you know, 'cause why not? - Like Hitler? - Nah. (laughing) - I'm gonna say like Michael Jackson and the one guy, a character who sounded like Michael Jackson. - I had that, I dealt with that song by (indistinct) And listen to it so many times. - No, what is this? - It's so good. - Happy birthday, Lisa. - Happy birthday, Lisa. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. - It's so good. - It's so good. - Yeah, it was a song that Michael Jackson wrote for the Simpsons. - Yeah, I think, I think when it came out, like I have an aunt named Lisa, and my dad, and my uncle, her husband, played that for her birthday. - Aww. - Like they didn't play it. They got a recording of the show. (laughing) - Oh man, if they would have had bongos, everything would have been awesome. - It would have been awesome, but they're not that awesome. - They did not. - I left my daddy. - They did not credit Michael Jackson in the episode. They credited, and they-- - Michael Dorkson. - A pseudonym named John J. Smith was who they listed in the credits. And the only other celebrity who was not listed in the, after Michael Jackson, they were like, "No, fuck it, you have to use your real name." Dustin Hoffman, as Mr. Bergstrom, Lisa's substitute teacher, he was credited under another name, but I can't remember what name that was. - Tell us Phil Hawkins. - You're the real assistant's knowledge. - But you're camping, so fuck you, I guess. (laughing) - He's allowed to talk to us for 15 minutes if we call him. - Oh man. - The second level is Krusty Land. I guess we'd also say the majority of all your enemies are the same guy in a different suit for everybody. - Yeah, they show up at a pretty much every level and there's a lot of variety once you get to Dreamland. I feel like they spent a lot of their-- - Which is the best level. - Yeah, it is. - Let's go that out. - It is. - That is an interesting one. - I do wonder in Dreamland, they're all hallucinating and having the same dream, like a collective family dream. - I know, it's so sweet. - Like they're fucking Fraggles. - Yeah. (laughing) - We're all connected in the ass to play. - Fraggles, you're cut. (laughing) - Like it was really disturbing me playing that level. I'm like, why are they all having the same dream? This is weird. - Because they're all dead. We established. - Oh, that's right. Yeah, that's right. We came up with the head cannon that they are all dead. - Yeah, they all died after that first fall. - Yeah. - So all of the Simpsons episodes after this game came out is actually just purgatory. - Yeah. - They were the longest incident at Al Creek ever. - Like I think we came up with that. Maggie actually died. So that first level is them coming to terms with her death, and then they chalked. - I just jumped on a diamond like you would. - Holy shit, are you saying that each level in this game is a stage of grief? (laughing) - I think so. - Oh my god, this game is deep. (laughing) - I mean, it makes sense for like the fire breathing method. - Yeah, in Mo's Tavern, the boss, we were pretty sure he's a meth head. - We're 99.9% sure he's a meth head. (laughing) - The boss of Krusty Land is the giant Krusty balloon. - Yeah, nothing that I'm aware of that's specifically that in the show. - And when you go to like the news station, there's those robots that aren't the boss, but take like five billion fucking hits. - Yeah, yeah, those are really annoying. - They're, oh my god. Is that they're going, are they gonna die? Are they gonna die? I'm hitting it with two characters. - Are we doing something wrong? - Yeah, are we supposed to jerk them off? Like, what are we doing wrong? - We're not. (laughing) - The boss is in the Springfield discount cemetery, like a little guy and a big guy in the ill-fitting suits. - Nothing that I recognize. I'm surprised that they didn't go with, well, I guess that those designs might not have been around yet, but like people like Fat Tony or Legs and Louie and whatnot, but they didn't show up until season three, so that might not have been something that they had seen yet. - It delighted me as a child, even, seeing the zombies pop out of the ground. - Doing the thriller dance. - Doing the thriller dance. - Yeah, that was a nice touch. I like that. - And then after that's most tavern, where the suit guys get upgraded to have brooms, so they're better. - Yeah, right. - And then I guess the large drunk man slash method, who is breeds fire. - He is a giant. - Yeah. - He is a child. - But yeah, most tavern, for some reason, is connected to the, it's connected by elevator to a grave in the cemetery. - I like it. - Yeah, 'cause you get that trope of the elevator decision. - The classic elevator level. - Go ahead, elevator level. - Yeah, you can have your open, people jump off on different levels. - Yep, so is that canon? - What's that? - Is the cemetery connected to most tavern? - Not to my knowledge, yeah. - Okay. - That would be something Mo would do, so he can just walk right out from the tavern to his grave. - Yeah, so, and we were speaking earlier, possibly having bonus unlockable characters. I would love for Mo to be. - Oh yeah, definitely. Where he's using the flaming Mo. - Yeah, it's brilliant. - And not the weird Mo who's in the background in this game. - Yeah, it's also a very large Mo. - Yeah, yeah. I feel like they just don't know how to do perspective, right? - Yeah, the bleeding gums Murphy is playing for like a princess cashmere and a couple of other strippers are dancing in the background, you know. - Which one did Mo get a stage? - Yeah, yeah, but if I remember, like I was doing a little research and I found out that if you have Homer stop next to the stage, he'll do his victory dance. - Really? - That he does at the end of the level, next to it, 'cause of that whole episode. Yeah, so that was a neat touch. - Did both Homer and Marge get a possible adultery episode in season one? - Yes. - Okay. - I thought that was the case. - Even as a kid, I thought that was weird. I was like, oh my God, they're gonna get divorced. (laughing) - She had the French bowler guy. - Yeah, and Homer had dancing with Princess Cashmere at the bachelor party. - Okay, I guess Leerling happens again later. - Yeah, that's later. I wanna say that season three. - Might be four. I have pretty sure it's three. - I think even later. - Did they get divorced in the later, like the one of the latest seasons? - I haven't watched it in a few years, honestly. 'Cause that was, I remember watching at midnight and Chris Harder was talking about that being a thing where they get divorced in whatever season. - He's probably talking about Millhouse's parents. - Oh yeah, sure. (laughing) - Millhouse's parents got divorced. I know there was a thing where she had an emotional affair with Mo for a while. - Yeah, yeah, remember that. - I do not. (laughing) That sounds bizarre. - It was very bizarre, but it's 'cause Mo was being nice. - Yeah, well, they emotionally giving her what she-- - They start a business is the thing. Like she helps him turn Mo's tavern into like a British pub and it's super successful and they're really friendly with each other for a while. And you know, it's, you know, Lenny and Carl have to explain to Homer that it's an emotional affair and yeah, it's weird. - Yeah. - How long ago was that? - I, if I had to put a number out on it, I'd say like season 14, 15, 15. - Oh yeah, boy, I was-- - Being gone, yeah, I was done as well. I, yeah, I knew it was a much later season. - Yeah. - 'Cause it was one I just happened to catch. - Are you current? - No, I am not. I would say beyond season 20, I have basically no knowledge. - That's a crazy statement. - We are dead. We did die at the 90s. (laughing) The Simpsons is our own personal limbo. (laughing) We're just waiting to be judged. And in the meantime, the Simpsons is on. - I guess it's Matt Granny's phylactery 'cause it's like just going forever as long as it's here. - Yeah. - Let's go for him. - Sometimes Futurama comes back in the picture, sometimes it would. - I will say like, I like Simpsons, but Futurama was my jam. I prefer, I still prefer Futurama over Simpsons. - I prefer it now. I hated it as a kid. - I absolutely loved the Simpsons. - I hated it 'cause it wasn't the Simpsons. - I loved it as a kid. Like that first episode was like, you got me, I'm in. - Yeah, I could not stand it. - You know, and it's stupid reasons 'cause it was like, I remember talking about it at school the next day. I was like, yeah, didn't lie, they weren't yellow. (laughing) - They didn't look sickly enough with their jaundice skin. - What is no continuity here? (laughing) - Oh man. - Yeah, that's like one, I'm like, I want the complete box series of that series. Like I don't say that about anything, like I want that. - It was good consistently all the way through. - Yeah. - Yeah. - The Simpsons. - I will give you that. - Can we get some Simpsons high def? I've got a few DVD sets and I don't want to watch them because I am a snob. (laughing) - See, after that, they go to the Springfield butte. So you find suits, apes, and the bear that escapes from. - Oh, right. - Yeah, the bear looks very similar to the bear that found Maggie in the episode Call of the Simpsons when Homer gets mistaken for Bigfoot. - Yes. - I remember that. - And like the-- - The family should have been better off with. - Yeah, the Bigfoot thing that you run into looks kind of like Homer's design from that episode, you know, but that might just be kind of a coincidence. - I remember the first time I saw that episode, I was doing back flips on my grandparents' bed. (laughing) - You were just so excited to see those bears. - Yeah, I was psyched. (laughing) - Goddamn fucking bears, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm not gonna lie, I was actually pretty psyched because I was a really big like crypto, I was like in the crypto zoology and shit, I had this like timeline. (laughing) - Yeah, I know what you're talking about 'cause I had 'em. - There's time life books and I would like scour and be like, "I'm gonna solve the Bigfoot mystery." - Oh yeah, I'm gonna solve Nessie, I'm never gonna go to Loch Ness. - Oh, I wanted to go, yeah, I was gonna solve that shit. - I didn't realize that Loch Ness was in Scotland. - I knew that, but I didn't know what Scotland was. (laughing) - Yeah, all you gotta do is drain the lake like Mr. Burns did in that episode, you know. - Bring it back. - And then make Nessie work at one of his casinos, that's. - Ian, you are a walking encyclopedia. - That's in the latest content you can unlock for what's going on and tapped out right now. - Are you shitting amazing? - You get Nessie in the suit as a character that walks around. - Holy shit, that's kind of amazing. - They're digging deep. - Yeah, they really are. - Are they digging deep or are they playing into their crowd? - Both? - Yeah, a little call of my little ghost. - That's nice that you can have both. - They have one character that is not in the show, which is Doctor, what's his name? Not Dr. Nick, but the good doctor. - Dr. Hibbert, Dr. Hibbert, his son. - Wait, Dr. Hibbert has a son? - Yeah, he has a son. We saw him in, I don't remember the name of the episode, but the one where Mo turns his bar into a family restaurant. - Yeah. - Basically he has the-- - Please take the fries from my head. - Yeah, he basically has the Cosby kids, you know? Like I think the son only has like one line where, you know, they're saying, you know, like, where should we go for lunch? And it's the spaghetti laboratory. - Face stoppers. - Professor P.J. Cornucopia's fantastic food in McGory and with Great American Steakery is the fun story. - And then after that is Dreamland. - And you can't remember my birthday. (laughing) - Hey Paul, when is Shandara's birthday? April 23rd, Shandara? - That is correct. - All right. - How did you remember that this time? - You have to give him a-- - You don't remember that. - I love you. - Love you. - And then Dreamland, I always done on the giant fucking bowling ball. - Yes. - As a kid, if I could get that far, that's where I would die. - That was a tough motherfucker there. - That's my favorite level. That level's so weird, I love it. - Yeah, like the enemies that look like the hazmat suits. - Yeah, that are empty. - Yeah, that's so cool. And you can kind of tell that you've got like one or two more hits left on them when their head knocks off. That's pretty neat. - I like the March heads that come out of the cloud. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then there's like the little devil barts that you have to like jump and attack in order to hit. - So you think they're dead because it's obviously some kind of twisted heaven? - Well-- - 'Cause it's in the clouds. - I think the main reason we were playing around with that was because they just fell from such a ridiculous high off a waterfall. - Yeah, like I mean, you see them laying and that's when the Dreamland level starts. And it's odd that why, like listen, I get having maybe similar dreams to your family members about a certain-- - Yeah, but they're not gonna make it four separate levels. They're not gonna split screen it and have every character do their own thing. - Why not? - Because that would be too amazing. - No. - So I guess no giant bowling ball isn't canon. - Embers somewhere. - Or at least like-- - Not that I can remember. I mean, they had Bart's Nightmare, that was a game. Why can we just suddenly play through Bart's Nightmare on one quarter of the screen? - Or like one of them just-- - It could be like-- - Everybody else has their own original game - Well no, it could've been like one of them gets knocked out and everybody, you know, the other three are trying to wake up that one character. So it makes more sense. - That's a mini game of just everybody slapping the hell out of Homer. Just speaking of which-- - Yeah, they have like the minigames. - I've got to talk about the balloon blowing at minigame and then the face slapping minigame. - Which I fucking love. - Yeah, that's a nice little touch. - These little minigames. - Yeah, that was really fun. And it's really fun when you're playing as two characters and then realize the person next to you who's playing is just one. - Are you competitive Chandra? - Just a little. - Did Paul get a higher score than you or something? - I mean, when you're playing one character versus playing two-- - So did-- - Yes or no? - Yes or no? - Can Paul get a higher score than you on the one where we specifically said that we were only going to do one character each? - Yeah. - The mics aren't picking up that middle finger. (laughing) - Fuck you, Paul. (laughing) - Then after that is the channel six level. - Which is also a cool level. - Yeah, and they don't have a Ken Brockman at the desk, which was weird. - Yeah, I was really put off by that. I'm like, who's this pose and motherfucker? - Like, I thought it might be Scott Christian who replaces him on Nightline for one episode, but it's not, it's some other guy. Like, there's one episode of Simpsons where they start Nightline and for no discernible reason, instead of Ken Brockman, it's Scott Christian. It's an early season episode, you know, and he's just like, I'm Scott Christian. Ken Brockman is out tonight. And that's it, there's no joke. It's just a different guy. You know, just-- - I like that. - I like how you remember that one moment. - Is Scott Christian and Simpsons tapped out Tyler? - Not, not that I've seen any of these characters. - Yeah, he's an unlockable character and Scott Pilgrim versus the world. - Scott Christian versus the world. - 'Cause I miss like the first years worth of content you can't go back and get like the Stone Masons and-- - Stone Cudders. - Stone Cudders, thank you. - They get you that way too, huh? Or like, you can't stop playing 'cause you'll miss something forever. - Are they still called the Stone Cudders and tapped out? Or are they called the Society of No Homers? - At Stone Cudders. - Okay, okay. - 'Cause like, for some reason-- - People, I'm friends with have them, but I don't. - Gotcha. - Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. - At the end of the episode, they've rebranded themselves. It's not a deep cut. - Sandra. - It's debatable. - And at the end of Channel 6-- - The Simpsons Forum is called No Homers. They named themselves after that reference. - Show notes. - And then I have to bring back up Sam's Photoshop. - It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. I can tell you a lot of fucking useless knowledge about Barbie. - That Ted Bogg is the Society of No Pals, which-- - But I can pull a walkie up, Paul Corns are in the treehouse, for that space. (both laughing) - Oh, man. - So there's a Kabuki actor at the end of the Channel 6 level? - Yeah, that's just Konami being weird. - Okay. - Being like, we are Japanese. - I love that we're gonna put our culture in for You Grow Americans. - I love that idea, though, that like in the early '90s before any of the anime boom had happened and whatnot, they're just like, no, people are gonna get this. They're gonna like the ninjas, and I feel like someone's some sound designer was trying to put in those wood block noises, and they're just like, no, they're not gonna get that. - Designing. - Designing. (both laughing) - Yo. - That's probably my favorite thing about Naruto. Is that? - Well, the Kabuki actor does look like Jaraya. - Yeah. - Well, I mean, they designed him after a Kabuki actor. They may compose a lot like him, and they do that weird head turn thing that you can totally see on the mic. - I know, it's not safe. - But again, they can hear it on the mic, they hear it closer and then farther away, and then that's very good. - That's a weird head turn. - That's a Doppler effect, you guys. Right, Tony? Ryan's Doppler effect? - Let's see, then the last level is the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, which is basically just two bosses. - Smithers and then Mr. Burns. - Yeah. - Those characters are in the Simpsons regularly. (both laughing) - Hey, Paul, why did Smithers raise change? - I don't know, but yeah, the first couple of times you see him, he's a black guy and then he's not. - Never addressed. - Yeah, never addressed. It seems kind of weird. - Yeah, it's kind of weird. - It's like a weird thing for them to do. - But like, here's the other thing that we noticed in the game. Smithers is wearing a fucking cape. - Yeah, a cape with an isotope on it. - Yeah. - That's full of bombs. - Yeah. - Like, and he wore this to the, to the robbery. - Yep. - Yes. - Why? - Didn't wear a mask or nothing. - No, just wore a cape. - Like, hey. - He just assumed they would think it was Dracula. (both laughing) - Mr. Burns probably wanted to set it up like some kind of '50s-more kind of thing, so he told him to wear a cape, but it's just so weird. - Yeah, I remember Smithers, I mean- - He looked very diabolical in this. I don't remember him being that mean. - Yeah, no, no. - He's usually, like if he's mean, it's more he's laughing with Mr. Burns about something mean, but he's not mean himself. - Yeah. - Do you think he was possessed? Is that what we're getting at? - I think so. - Mm. - Okay. - I think maybe he was there when Maggie died. And so, in purgatory, you know, they just associate him with evil- - Her spirit entered his body. (both laughing) Her murderous spirit. - Maggie is a violent little girl. - She really is. She is a sociopath. - Yup, yup. - As are all babies. - Well, I mean, yeah, probably. I don't know. - This is the Unibrow baby. (both laughing) - He's right. - I was in this game, right? - He just got released in Taptown. (both laughing) - Isn't the Unibrow baby Gerald? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Doesn't he like crawl across, like, I think most Haver or something like that? - He might. - He was introduced after the game came out. - Some ugly baby fucking crawls across the floor. I know that much. - And everybody's just like, no, you're not the baby we want. Stayed this bar with all these horrible people that breathe fire at you. - You can pick the baby up and throw it just like you can. Santa's a little helper. - Yup. - And Snowball 2. - Yup. - I assume Snowball 2. - Yeah, it's Snowball 2. - Yeah, 'cause Snowball 2 is black, but Snowball 1 is white, correct? - So yeah, that's why they call him Snowball. - Yeah. - Then there's Snowball 4. (both laughing) - Let me see. They have an episode where Snowball 2 dies. - 'Cause I read a very confusing Wikipedia article about Snowball 2 for some reason. - Yeah, and like Lisa tries to multiple different cats and they all wind up dying in like ridiculous ways. - No. - And like, I only remember one of them was named Coltrane and like, you know, she played jazz and it jumped out the window 'cause it hated it and then got hit by a car. So eventually Lisa finds like a stray that looks exactly like Snowball, Snowball 2, you know, and she's just like, I'll call you Snowball 3. But to save money out of Coltrane, I'll just call you Snowball 2 and forget this whole thing ever happened and then Principal Skinner walks by and he's just like, it's kind of a cheat, isn't it? I suppose it is. - Principal Tam Zarian. (both laughing) - Nice. - He just walks away. - And then burns at the final boss in a suit that tosses many nukes. - Yeah, yeah. - Just around haphazardly. - Well, I mean, it's not like he's a-- - Very localized explosives. Like, I mean, grid, the entire screen flashes, but like, unless you're like right next to that thing, it doesn't hurt anybody. - No. I mean, you can kind of cheat by kind of being behind him. - Yeah. - I think. - That's a typical boss tactic in this game. - Yeah, just get behind them. And you can just whoop the shit out of them and not get hit by any of their attacks. - And burns changes because like the robot breaks down the lower it gets hit. - Yeah, yeah. - And if you're next to it when it's breaking down, you'll get shocked. - Yeah. - Yeah, 'cause like originally it's like bipedal and then it goes down to treads and then it goes down to like a hovercraft-type thing. That's the last one, right? - Right. Yes. - Which reminds me of Kring. - Yeah. - Yeah, he did look very much like Kring. - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. - And then when you beat him, the suit vanishes. He has X over his eyes. So in this quantum reality, they kill-- - They murder Mr. Burns. - They murder Mr. Burns. - Yeah. - He's drunk. - And who shot mixer burns? No one. The Simpsons just beat the shit out of him. - That'd be cool episode. - Oh, man. - And then grandma, Patty, and Selma just walk into the screen and then get over. - Yeah, they just show up now, that's the best. - Like they just show up at the nuclear power plant. Like, hey guys, we're just doing our weekly check. - What were you guys? - Like they showed, like Konami showed the game to Fox and they were like, "We put everyone in this game." I don't think so, guys. You left three out. - Three more decent unlockable characters, but fun. - Only if they're together. - Well, Patty and Selma, only if they're together, I think Grandpa would be fun just on his own. - Yeah, Grandpa would be pretty fun. - Let's see, 'cause you get weapons during the course of the game. The mallets, bowling balls. Everybody can use the slingshot, which I think is bullshit, I feel like. - It's kind of bullshit. I think it should be limited to Bart or Bart and Lisa. - Bart only, I'm saying Bart's twisted. - I would say Bart. - And then Lisa should have a sax that she can pick up at some point. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Or like, if it was just like a present and then whoever wanders over and gets it, - Gets it, gets their weapon. - Yeah, that would be cool. - I could see that. I do like presents. - Yeah, you do. And then it's America, so hot dogs and hamburgers are restore your life. - Yeah, yeah. It's all I got written down for this game. That's it. - It's a good game. - Yeah. I thoroughly enjoyed it. - It's pretty fun. It took us a what, about an hour to beat. - Something's like 50 minutes. - How does it rank for everybody with all the Konami beat 'em ups? - It's pretty high up there for me. - Honestly, it's probably my top one. - Yeah. - Like, I mean. - Above X-Men. - Yeah, just because of my personal attachment to the franchise. - I get it. - Like, I can completely accept that other people are gonna like other ones better. Other ones might be objectively better, but it's been a while since I've played all the way through any of those games. - That team up mechanic is huge. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Like, it really has that going for it. I think that's really-- - I like this better than X-Men. - I do too. - And I think like a couple years ago, you and I, Paul, played Turtles in Time at Game Galaxy, and I had a lot more fun with this one. - With the Simpsons. - With Simpsons than with Turtles. - I like, I agree. - 'Cause even though I was in that case, I was only controlling one character, it was-- (laughing) - It was really fun. - Now dinner at all. - Man, what? - No. - Is this horse dead? - No. - No. (laughing) - Give me a bet, so I can beat it and make sure. - This is how I work. - This is how I work. (laughing) Just fuck you. (laughing) - I like the original Turtles arcade better than this, but this would be second for me. And I think that's just my attachment to the Ninja Turtles franchise. - Yeah, no, I totally get it. - They nailed, like Konami nailed the aesthetic, I feel like, of the Simpsons, especially that time period. - Yeah. - Like it's kind of weird seeing it now. - Yeah, after multiple decades of other stuff and they're crossover with Rick and Morty and shit and just-- - But I remember being like, amazed as a kid, even the intro to the game. And like, they put all of their sound budget and not only the Kabuki stuff, but the Simpsons. - Yeah, and they got the actual voice actors to do the little bits of dialogue that they would have. - Yeah, which is a really nice touch because if they're idle, they'll say like a little blurb. - Yeah. - It's just, it's kind of cool. - Nice touches. This game has some really nice touches. - Yeah. - Anybody have any achievements for it? - I got one when you beat, well, dealing with the method boss. Like, I think if you get killed by his fire blast, it's called a dylon, dylon, dylon, dylon. Because he spit on fire. - Yep, he's hit the kill you five times. - Yeah, just try to keep that as a running joke there. - Anybody else? - Hi, guys. - Yeah, fuck that car, it's my achievement. - Nice. - You try to pick up the police car as Homer and he looks like he's fucked it. - I've got three. The first one is the Tracy Almond Show. And that is where you continually hit that tree to get apples until one of the rabbits pop out and says get out of here. - Yeah, no more. - No more beat it. - Yeah, that's it. - Couples therapy, is there a defeat a boss with a combo move? - I like that. - And then it should do the most damage. And that's where you kill every boss is Marge. - Yeah, I have one but it would be continuing to beat a dead horse up. - Do it, beat it. - Okay, he's gonna call it double dragons where you play his two characters at the same time. - Just, next time he's about to have an orgasm, just stop and punch him in the face. Unless he's into that, then just like stop. - That's usually how I have to get him to comment. - Yeah, stop and just say you be a good father and then that way it all goes into the other way. (laughing) - See you, honey. - All right. - I know, I'm a monster. (laughing) - Tyler. - Yes, Dave. - We've talked about a lot of things today. Most of those things had to do with The Simpsons. If you were to get this game, a beard. Tyler, that sums up how you feel about it. What kind of beard would it be? The powerful, every man beard of Hank Scorpio. - Ah, okay, then I can respect that. - One of my favorite episodes, period of The Simpsons. - It's definitely top 10. - I don't know who that is. - He's been referenced a lot recently and I do not know why. It seems like I hear Hank Scorpio a lot in podcasts that listen to this. It's just a podcast thing. - It's because Josh Nance is a Scorpio. - Yeah. - Hank Scorpio, it's an episode where Homer gets a new job and he's working for what turns out to be a supervillain. - Okay. - You know. - He's really happy. - I'll check this out. - Yeah, he's a full benefit. - Best boss ever, but he's like taking over the East Coast. - It's a good, it's a really good episode. It's a memorable one. - Yeah. - I'd be willing to, you know, go with that. - Oh yeah. - Yeah, I mean, it'd be fine. - Yeah. - As long as it's not Donald Trump, I'm cool. - It might be though. - No, that's true. - Don't insult our next president. (laughing) - No, that's okay. - He'll make us strike it from the record. (laughing) - He's just going to make your parents pay for a wall. That's all? - I know, yeah. - No, it's just half my family's going to pay for a wall. - His Gestapo is waiting outside for us to catch our dicks. (laughing) - Oh man, I think John Oliver recently did a thing on like one, how much that wall will actually, yeah. How much that wall will actually cause. - And the upkeep and everything to it, yeah. - But we're not paying for it, this is a big deal. - It's true. (laughing) - Even the interview with like the Mexican presidents, like I'm not, no one, we have nurse circumstances we pay for this wall. - Yeah, like the one that was like, there is no fucking way we will pay for that wall. - Yeah, yeah. - I like to thank John Oliver for the thing about gaslighting, cause that's supposedly like Donald Trump's tactic is like, just tell you that you're crazy and he's right. Like he did it to John Oliver when he said like, no, I turned down being on your show and John Oliver was like, did I ask him to be on my show? I don't feel like it did, but maybe I did ask him if I show. - Being confronted by a lie that confident makes you. - Yep. - He's like the dude at Wendy's when I go to the time period. (laughing) - Did you give him a ride? (laughing) - Tyler. - Yes, Dave. - My friend, if you were to give this game a pair of glasses, what kind of glasses would it be? - The cool shades of one bleeding gums Murphy. - Yeah. - That's a cool glasses. - I like it. - I like it. - That's all I got. - Yeah, I came with no notes, so I'm done. - Yeah. - It's cool, it's cool. - Paul and I came with pages of notes that are right here in front of us. - They're in front of us. - Yeah. - So many pages. - So many pages. - Yeah, handwriting of a serial killer right here. It's like the notebooks in seven. - I like that you guys cut out individual letters and paste them on it. (laughing) - That's why there's a large stack. - That's part of it. - It takes a lot of space. - Yeah, we had to buy a lot of tabloids for all the different fonts. - Thanks for driving up for this. - Yeah. - We appreciate it. - We're making up work to make it happen. - That was not a problem at all. - And giving us $1.50 to make it happen? - Oh, shit. - Yeah, we didn't make it happen. - Oh no, I was definitely gonna raise my Patreon up 75 cents because I'm true to my word. - You guys wanna stick around for like five more episodes? (laughing) I mean, I don't have work till two in the afternoon. - Yeah, I gotta go to work tomorrow morning. (laughing) - Come in to work with me, it'll be fine. Just call your work to be like, I'm gonna work with Dave. It's something big. Yeah. - It's my name, right? - You know it's my name, right? - This is my design link, Paul. (laughing) - Paul, what do you know about graphic design? - Pretty much nothing. - Pixels. - On my-- - It's all hidden now, really. - Colors at Pixels. - On my webcomic. - Bye, bro. - Zokusho at www.waywardcross.com. All of the artistic work is done by my friend, Landon Franklin, who is a very talented artist. We do kind of a modern day, done to the dragons type things. We got zombie hit men and parkour gnomes and raver illusionists and magic gunslingers and all that kind of stuff. It's fun stuff. I think people that are into Tadpog might be interested in it. So check it out, waywardcross.com. - Urban Sure at Sea is underrated, in my opinion. - Very underrated. - Yeah, I dig the hell out of that stuff, you know? So it was just something that I felt like doing. So we've been at it for years at this point. We got like over 500 pages of content at this point. - Yeah, we've been doing it for like four or five years now. - Like, I mean, as a webcomic, yeah. And then like, we did our original thing back in like '07. - Cheese. - We've been at it for a minute. - Yeah. - You guys are old. (laughing) - Oh man. - But yep, plug over. (laughing) - That's a good plug. I felt bad 'cause of, I think like the first time you were on this show, we were done. And I was like, oh, you probably wanna plug some things, right? - Yeah, I completely forgot. - And then the second episode, again, you completely forgot. - Yeah, the third one I got in there. - Yeah, yeah, you did. - Eh. (laughing) - You got it in there for that honey pop. - Eh. - Oh good. - Chandra, you don't plug anything? - No. - Good job. You just have some blood break done. It's fine. Come see Chandra. - I, yeah, no. Don't see me, I'm not a phlebotomist. I'm just a lab representative. I just ordered us. - Hot. - Yeah, I know. (laughing) - I wear my scrubs and they keep us in a room where no one really sees us ever. - Oh my God, that sounds like heaven. (laughing) - You say that until you work with the people I work with who are morons. And I'm the trainer and I'm training right now like five people at the same time. - Yeah, that doesn't sound cool. - And one, and then there's a six one. I'm not training, but technically should still be trained because he's just a pumpkin moron. - Yeah. - So we just lost six listeners. - So you said that's fine. No, they wouldn't listen anyway. They're too stupid. (laughing) - Wait, what? (laughing) - Everyone calls me a fucking nerd at work. - So share this on your wall and listen to it. You six fucking fucking idiot. (laughing) I'm not friends with them. - Fucking dumb dums. (laughing) - The beginning of that sounded awesome. Like I just go to work in my pajamas and no one looks at me. - Yes, that is great. - Yeah, I wish it was more like a cubicle kind of setting or something, so no one would look at me ever. - You guys just sit in the blood, right? - Yeah, we just sit in the blood. It's very sad. - Somebody test this. (laughing) - You should just pick up handfuls of it. - Yeah. - Ice cream scoop. - Just every once in a while, like it's a door open. - Fast paced world is like in the shining and blood brushes and-- - Yeah, it's the fast paced world of hospital lab work. Just craziness. - Do they like-- - Shit piss and blood, yeah. - Oh, shit piss blood, sputum. - What is that? - That is like a deep cough. - Okay. - So it's like your flum and everything when they tell you to do a deep cough, nasal washes, nasal swabs, gastrointestinal contents, arms, fingers, toes, legs. - Just like whole arms. - Like a whole, yes. We have received-- - How long did you test to see who this belongs to? (laughing) - Oh, no, we had-- - Jimmy's our body test now. (laughing) - I'm debating if I should save it for an intro story 'cause I just hit to my mind, but I'll tell it anyway. Okay, save it. - Save it, save it. - Okay, I'll save it. Okay. Yeah, but yeah, we've gotten limbs and parts of the digits. - What are you-- - Highballs. - I don't like that. - Vitreous fluid, which comes from your eye. Cerebral spinal fluid, we get a lot of shit. Literally and figuratively. (laughing) - Mm. (laughing) - You turned on yet? - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - I am terrified. - You had me a blood. (laughing) I've watched a lot of this using American Horror Story. It's fine, blood works now. (laughing) - Lady Gaga covered in blood, it's fine. - She was, I don't, yeah, Lady Gaga covered in almost anything, I'm fine. (laughing) - So that gives me that look, you know what? (laughing) - No, I'm not judging. - I'm not judging. - Thanks for losing your body, you can find the show on iTunes, SoundCloud, and Stitcher. So that I missed the next episode. It's Monday, it'll be some other shit. Burp, we don't know yet. (laughing) We still love those five-star iTunes reviews. We need those, we got a few in. Let me tell you about them. 'Cause I read the one from Medic. (laughing) - I like that. And then I don't know what, what Merically performed, but Peter Panda has two back-to-back five-star reviews. - Which are identical. - Yeah, the only thing that's different is like the header is different, but they're both same review, same ID, but one says, top three favorite podcasts, and then one of my top three favorite podcasts. (laughing) - He had to change their heart there. - So, I'm either listening to your budget experience to headbutt on a day, play all games. The only reason I made an account about an iPad Mini was the five-star, one of my favorite podcasts. So, thank you. It is a good investment. - Yeah. - But if I go out and buy an iPad Mini. - We do endorse this, I tell you Mini. (laughing) - Let's see. And then the latest, (laughing) and probably most accurate review we have yet by MasonDV 1986, mediocre games podcast with amazing discussions about theaters and buttholes. (laughing) - Yeah. - That's beautiful. - I love that. - That's beautiful. - You can take it as we review mediocre games, but I know there's not that one. (laughing) - I'm amazed that we actually have people who like video games who listen to this. (laughing) - Yeah. - I will say though, I've been listening. While I was studying, I went all the way back to the first episode, and I've been listening my way forward, and I listened to the Mortal Kombat episode. I was like, man, they really like Mortal Kombat, and they're talking about Mortal Kombat 11. I have that game on Steam. I haven't downloaded it. I've had it for like five years. So you guys got me into downloading Mortal Kombat, but yeah, those old episodes are really good. Every episode's really good. - That ultimate Mortal Kombat, right? - No, every episode's really good. - That was awesome. - Those old episodes are really good. - Tolerant day filled maths. Not very good. First episode, not very good. - That was fine, I thought. I think my first episode was not unerasers. It was the one before it was, um. Final fight is number two. - Final fight is number. - Buster. - Buster Buzz loose. - Yeah, that's my first episode that I listened to. - Fucking train level. - Fucking train. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I think I started on your Phoenix right episode, 'cause when I found your card at Game Galaxy, I was like, I wonder what this is. I remember thinking, it's probably some bullshit let's play thing, and then it's bullshit. - That's what kept him in. - For some reason I followed through, and it's like, oh, they talked about Phoenix right. Awesome. And then I just kind of went back to the beginning and moved forward from there. - Yeah, I just went straight back to the beginning, 'cause that's how I usually listen to podcasts, is find the earliest episode I can. - I used to do that, I can't anymore. - Yeah, I tried doing that with Welcome to Night Vale recently, 'cause I forgot like 90% and I was like, I gave up. I'm like, I'm so sorry, I'm not gonna listen to this anymore. And that I was out for so long, I can't. - Is that, that's kind of one where you have to go back to the beginning, right? - It's kind of do, you got to kind of know what's going on in the previous episode, which builds on the previous episode, so it's back and back and back. And I mean, it's a great podcast for people like, weird shit and audio dramas, it's really well done. - Nicole loves it. - Yeah, and I don't blame her, it's a fantastic series. I just, for a long time, this has been the only podcast like I regularly listen to. - Yeah. - You're pretty invested, sorry. - I am. - Too far in, I'm sick of these assholes, but I'm just too far in. - Classic sunk-cost fallacy. - Well, 'cause it's like listening to your friends talk about games, I'm like talking to you guys, I'm like, oh yeah, I'm not there. - That's sweet, I like that. - Yeah. - Let's see. So either buy an iPad mini, that's fine. - Yeah. - Steel and iPad mini, whatever you have to do, please go to iTunes, it was a five-star review. Subscribe first. - Oh, they're gonna say send it to... - Peel hocks. (laughing) - Please steal all your iPad minis. There's a thing in our local Walmart. We talk about the depository for thieves to get money from iPads and phones and shit. - Yes. - So just go to one of those, get money, don't have that on Patreon, it's fine. - Three easy steps. (laughing) - So yeah, subscribe, give us a five-star review on iTunes, write a review, and if there's a game you want us to play, guess what you want for a certain episode, any of that, whatever you include, our Patreon request, whatever you include, we promise, we'll get to that. - Eventually. - Hashtag more Shander and Paul. (laughing) - That reminds me of an Miller on in a fucking minute. It's been a long time since Miller's been on the show. - I wanna say he hasn't been on since... - Tomb of Horrors? - He was on, no, he was been on Ready Player One. I think the last thing he was on was Cool Spot. - Oh yeah, I forgot about Cool Spot. - All right. - He got this new job, or he's an adult, and has responsibilities. - Yeah. - Shh. - Fuck that shit. - Like Tyler said, we're gonna be back when we're talking about something. We do not know what it is going to be. Sorry. In the meantime, you can always find us on tadpog.com. That's where, yep, that's where the show notes live. We're gonna have links to the Power Rangers music video. (laughing) Maybe something about Fraggle Rock, something. We'll have links there, go check it out. Also, you can find us on Facebook. We're at Facebook.com/ tadpog. There's a lot of cool people there doing a lot of cool shit. I haven't been on Facebook. I'm doing this thing now where I do Facebook for like, at the end of the work day, I check it on my phone as I'm going to the car, and then I turn it off. I'm like, I'm done. So I haven't been on there, but I assume other people have. (laughing) So if you want to join a discussion there, you can. We normally have an episode post, and that's the best way to let us know, well, not me right now, but the best way to let us know if you have a particular episode. You can find us on Twitter. We are at tadpog_podcast. It's cumbersome, I realize. Thank you very much to everybody who retweets our episode announcements. Chandra, you are probably one of the most frequent retweeters, so thank you very much for that. - That's why I signed into Twitter. - Is it really? - It really is. I don't sign into it for much more. - Well, to be fair, that's the only reason I sign into is to pimp our own shit. - Yeah, I'll pimp you guys, and then I pimp my friend Amber at cuteloot.com. - Guess she's a slow. - No, she's not. She's a sweet human being. Too good, too pure for this world. Human being? - I just like the things that you pimp your friend Amber on Twitter. (laughing) - Yeah, she's the best. - You can call us if you want. Leave us a voicemail or send us a text 270-88-325-55. If you text, I promise I'll fuck it up. If you call, and leave a voicemail, try to keep it under three minutes unless you're doing an erotic reading, which case you can pack out. - Oh, I need to get one for you guys. I'm gonna start one up again. - We haven't done one in a while. - We have a Patreon. If you would like, if you, hey, did you like this? Vague conversation about the Simpsons Arcade game? (laughing) It did. - This mediocre game conversation. (laughing) - You know you liked it. If you liked it and would like to chip in, we do have a Patreon account. You can find us at patreon.com/tagpog. People actually give us money, and that's pretty cool. I'm still surprised when we check it every month. I was like, yep, they're still here. I don't know. It's great. - 'Cause we're about to release an episode. This Friday, we're due to release an episode. - Oh shit, motherfucker. - Yeah, we were supposed to. - Yeah. - But, right, I asked if we could push that back to the last Thursday of the month. - Okay. - Because the last Friday is this week. - Yeah. - Yeah, and we have shit we have to do. - The homometh cabin weekend is this weekend. - Yep, yeah. - So, I must have been on my drugs when you told me that, so it's like that. So, that's coming up in a week. - Yeah, we'll do the thing. It's gonna be late, but we get it. - So, donate now, and you get everything. - That's right. - And what's coming up later. And then, withdraw your pledge immediately. (laughing) - Don't do that. Don't be an asshole. (laughing) But then everyone else compensates when that happens. So, every community is awesome like that. - Yeah. - And, intro for art, do you have something to say? - Oh, I was gonna say, you guys have something new too. - We do. We started a Instagram for Tadpog. - Yeah, I saw that, that's cool. - 'Cause yeah, I got bored. I was like, been meaning to do this. Let's make it on Instagram for Tadpog. Tadpog unavailable, so. - Really? - What? - It was the same guy from Twitter? - Maybe, probably. I think somebody got in early like, I'm gonna take all the social media for Tadpog. - Yeah. - So, our Instagram is Tadpog_podcast. It was a public group. So, everybody could join, but oh my God, the bots. Oh my God, the bots. Just like my phone was constantly boop, boop, boop. Blah, blah offers for free. Blah, blah, blah. Money for like, I just got so many fucking bots. So, reason one, it is now private group is bots. Two, a crazy person decided to involve, insert themselves and start saying awful shit on all the pictures. - Like what? - I must have missed this. - Exactly. I deleted shit and reposted it and then made the group private. - What shit? - No, I gotta hear about that. - Yeah. - It's just, it's a crazy person I know. Lord Mike also knows who I'm talking about. It's just a local, crazy person. - How do they find out about it? - I don't know. - Is this the Wendy's guy? - Oh, I wish. - Trauma! (laughing) - Yeah. So, that's why it's private. I'm on top of that though. So, as soon as you try to follow it, I'll accept it. Unless you're the crazy person, which I could probably see through it. (laughing) And then, if you wanna, we don't, I mean, we like intro stories, but they're hard to come up with this. So, if you wanna give us a little help, or if there's a game you want us to play much sooner than the eventually list, send something to us, or some good food or gross food, you know, whatever. - It's good food. - You want some advice to give some anonymous advice? (laughing) Please send anything to Tadpoke Studios, Cara of Nicole Nance, PO Box 3785, Toduka, Kentucky 4202. - Spell our last name. - Spell, oh. (laughing) It's N-A-N-C-E. - Okay. - I can understand it. - Right. - N-A-N-T-Z. - We've never spelled it. (laughing) We've never spelled it on the show. So, we need to spell it. - Really big fan of that anime series, Gantz. I'm sure it's exactly like that. (laughing) Mm. - Chandra, our theme song. - Is moves. - Paul, who is that by? - Sycamore Drive. - And both of you work in a link to that track be found. - The show notes at tadbok.com. - That's the best it's ever been. That's nice. (laughing) That's nice. How would you guys like to close this out? - I have a suggestion, but look, Sandra, it looks like you had something. - No, I didn't. - All right. All right, all right, all right. You know how it comes in the Simpsons? We need to do that, but for travel, we got to work on it. - Okay. - Okay. - It's gonna be hard because it doesn't sound anything like it. - I like to do the corn. - Yeah, it doesn't. - Like a good neighbor. (laughing) All right, all right. - So we do it like, we do it like the state farm. - There you go. - There you go, Ryan Walthers. (laughing) - So until next time. ♪ Tropico ♪ ♪ Capricorn ♪ - Guys talking about Gooders. (laughing) - Me, Yoker, Game Talk. (laughing) (upbeat music) - Calling us now was my father. So let's hear his plethora of jokes. - Okay. - Jokes and jokes. - Hello. - Hello. - They're loud and clear. - Yes, sir. - A little too loud, actually. - We got you. - We got, we're good. We hear you loud and clear. - Yeah, is the woman up in there? - There he is. (laughing) - There is a lady. - Are you guys rolling? - Yep, we're recording. - Yep, yep, yep. - Well, you know, I like to talk to you guys because you know, kids won't risk and then, and their seniors can't hear. (laughing) - Yeah. (laughing) - But you know, I got, I got lucky, there's more. I'd have to race a newspaper. (laughing) Because the neighbors got it blank. (laughing) - I think David enjoyed that one. - I did, that was a really good one, I like that. - Yeah, but you know, I drink expired milk 'cause I like to live on the edge. (laughing) And my wife, she's gained weight. - Oh, no. - Yeah, yes, yeah, she's here butt without turning around. (laughing) (laughing) And she bought some of them stretch pants, they don't have a choice. (laughing) - I generally like that one. (laughing) - But you know, if you guys watch the Jerry Springer show, you know, you'll feel a lot better about your family. (laughing) - Yeah. - Yep. - Yep. - That's just a true statement. (laughing) - But you know, thinking about the election, you know, going on, you know, I've pulled my pants down, almost as much as Bill Clinton. (laughing) But you know, sometimes people carry a gun, you know, and it doesn't mean that they're gonna use it. You know, I carry a condom. (laughing) (laughing) - But yeah, I went by the store the other night. (laughing) They got this stuff called Astro Glide. (laughing) - What? - Astro Glide. (laughing) You find it right next to the condominium. (laughing) And I read, I know that you can put it on a Cadillac and then you can grab it into a dog house. (laughing) Okay, I'll, all right, I'm gonna leave it with you. (laughing) I'll leave you one word, work like you. Need the money that I save, work like nobody's watching. Okay. (laughing) - Thank you. - Okay. - Please. - I'll see you tomorrow. - Bye, Mr. Holland. - Bye, bye.