Hello Internet and WELCOME TO DIE! That’s right, true believers, we’re talking about the epic 6-Player arcade brawler: X-Men by Konami. If you’ve come looking for a bunch of inaccurate statements about your favorite mutants, look no further, we’ve got that in spades. We also open a package from Ruby Baron Paul Clewell. Chicken tendies are involved.
TADPOG: Tyler and Dave Play Old Games
Ep. 296 – X-Men (Arcade)
Hi there, listener. You're about to experience Tadpog, Tyler and Dave played games, and there will be plenty of game talk. But also, copious amounts of crude, off-color, offensive, and immature speech. So if you are of a rather sensitive, humor constitution, or just letting you know what you're in for with this show, it has games. It has jokes. You know, just games and jokes. Take the games, take the jokes, and have a good time. Hello internet, and welcome to another. You had another Tadpog podcast. Yeah, you put some southern stank on that. I like that. Yeah, it's a show. Yes. There's the garage door. Somebody's leaving. Let's wait for it. Yeah. Uh-huh. Still going. It's a very, very big garage door. Okay, closed. We're two old guys. We could have started over, by the way. We could have. We're just two old guys sitting here talking about old games. That's right. I like this voice. Can you please, can this just be like your new voice? I'm afraid if I do it too long, it's going to be permanent. Oh, I want that. I want to be like, I want to have to explain to people who don't know you. They call me Sweet Carolina tea. That's your new steam name. See, then when I go rap, it is dry tubs. It's like dry tubs. I know. You could eat a bunch of different person. All these personas and characters. We start our own Purdue conversion to groundlings. Look at all this character work we're doing. Well, today, it is original flavor Wednesday, or you'll be hearing this on original flavor Wednesday. It's not Wednesday when we're doing it. No, it's a really weird day because it's Sunday and it's daylight savings time. So a whole lot of different factors have kind of convened on me to just be confused all day. The fucking hate day lot savings times. Fuck, I hate it. But today, we're going to be talking about X-Men for the arcade version that you probably played. The X-Men villain. Yeah. It's his version of the game as he designed it. It's awful. You'll die when you play. When the game ends, it actually pans out. You're watching the credits and it pans out of you playing the game at the arcade stand up and arcade comes and kills you. That's how it is. He takes up his turkey cheese helmet, just stabs you in the neck. It's that easy. Because you've probably played this. I think I heard it was removed from the PSN and XBLA. But it was online to buy. Yeah. That's how we played it most recently. I bought it for PSN. Not me, but I straight up did it through the deep net. That's true. That's how I did it. You're in that deep net. Yeah. Did you guys know Dave's a Russian hacker? I'm really good. This whole podcast for the last four years ish. Four years has been a cover for me to... You're actually your Snowden, your Edward Snowden. I am. I am Edward Snowden. I'm recording live from... I guess he's still in that airport. I don't know. I never heard anything from him since he was in that airport. He's in Russia. That's all I know. In the airport still? Well, John Oliver went and interviewed him. Yeah. And I know it was a whole big thing for him to actually find him and sit down with him. And they sat in some nice hotel or something like that for an interview. Yeah. Did it look familiar from several amateur porn scenes that have the word hooker in the title? It looks like a Bond movie more. Yeah. All right. That's fitting, I guess. We're doing this first because we want to eat some chicken tenders. Yeah. So we have a package here from Ruby Baron on Rails Paw Cool, who said, "Make sure you get some Tindy's first." He reminded me every day this week, which is a good thing because I would have forgotten. So I didn't eat dinner and I've got these chicken tendies here waiting just releasing their energy into the air, getting cold arrived at the moment. So I'm going to open this. This might be one of the largest packages we've ever received. It's heavy and it has fragile stickers all over it. Let's see how effective that was. It's just a soupy mess of packing peanuts. Oh, popcorn peanuts. Ryan's going to love that his dog could eat all of this. There's a letter on top. So I'm assuming I read this first and just addressed to the drawing of a dick. I mean, T and for Sandy can sort of look like a dick. So if that's how you want to do us like some shirts for T and D just so it looks like a big shaft. I'm way ahead of you. But T and D, Tyrone and D Money, note 100% okay to read on air. Good. Thank you for that, by the way, because we've got a letter here which you've already heard because we read it on Monday's show and I'm worried that at the very end of it, it's going to say please don't read this. Please don't. So this one's I don't even know if we're going to know who did it because we also got a letter but we're not doing it on this show. We're going to see. You've heard it already. It was on Monday's. Yeah, you're right. They heard it already. Never mind. I'm going to put it down. Not some of the things that's in the past. Here's a wide variety of sauces you may not have yet. You may not have had yet. I tried to put together a range of tastes just in case you have a guest host who may not like hot stuff. Oh boy. We don't. We don't. It's all us. Hope you have chicken tendies ready. Ruby Baron, Paul cool. Thanks for having a great show weekend and week out week in and week out and for inviting me on for all the guest appearances and for dropping in on loaded card. Hopefully that episode will drop soon. I haven't seen it yet. I think I want a lot more but thanks but then you never need to get to the food. Love you guys and keep up the great work. Thank you, Paul. That was very nice. Very nice words. Now to eat all these packing peanuts. Let me see that knife again. Show me that knife again. You know, we just almost stabbed you in the palm. You're welcome. I'll be doing a lot of editing because this is going to take forever. No, this is good. I'll just sit here in silence while you struggle with the packing material. It's great radio. I like your shirt that says recycled auto parts. Do you know I'm a junkyard dog? That's the bio in your Steve account. That's my racist character, junkyard dog. That's who you go to Trimprali's ass. Oh, this is for you because you've been looking for this. I have some of this at home. What is it? Miss Rimfros. Oh, I have been looking for this. Ghost pepper salsa. Yeah, I have this and we've eaten this. It is so fucking good. It is. I'm going to dip a tendi in there because I do not have any tortilla chips. Yeah, we have feuding Walmart's here in Paducah. In case you're wondering, one of them, they never, well, they never carry the same like specialty food. It's impossible to find. They also very rarely restock anything. Yeah. Like the Walmart closest to me, which is now my main Walmart, sadly, had a love diet cherry seven up. I love it so much. And I think they cared at once. And then just stopped. And then this year for Christmas, they never carried any diet cranberry sprite zero. No. Yeah, I'm sorry. We share a Walmart and it is the it is the lesser of the two Walmart's. I do like this salsa. It is hot. Oh, yeah. Like this is like real deal hot salsa. I love it. What's that? I like this. They've you think you'll just like this. Dinosaur bowl. Oh boy. Dinosaur barbecue roasted garlic honey. Hmm. All right. Let's dip. Let's dip some chicken in those mothers. We're cool to just pour this straight out on the Ryan's desk, right? It's important to carpet. Fine. Here, let me flip the. Are we good? I heard a lot of windows sounds. Are we recording? My life does that all the fucking time. Like I can walk past it wrong. It'll be bad me, but we're recording. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I had to look again. Watch out for these grommets. All right. So this is dinosaur. Dinosaur barbecue. Boogaloo. They're just sweet. That's good. Very sweet. Is it supposed to be hot? No. Okay. Just roasted garlic honey. Not good much garlic. I get the honey though. Yeah, definitely get the honey. It's sweet. I like it. I like the dinosaur part too. Do you think it's made of dinosaurs? I hope so. Most everything is nowadays. Yeah. With the cost of honey the way it is in this market. These are dying out. So now we're just using strictly dinosaurs. It's actually cheaper to use dinosaurs. Here's another dinosaur flavor. Oh, nice. Paul owns stock in the dinosaur sauce industry. That's all yellow. Dinosaur mojito marinade and dressing. Huh? Okay. I have never seen anything like this. I have never had a mojito before. Have you? I like mojito's. Yeah. That's a grown up. That's a grown up drink, right? That's a daddy drink. A mommy drink? I'd say it's probably more of a mommy drink or like a Cuban daddy drink. Cuban daddy? That's my favorite band from the 90s. Cuban daddy. Yeah. Shake it up. Shake it up. Shake it up. I'm a marinade something in this. Let me rip a tinney off. Hmm. That would work better as a marinade than addressing, I think. I don't dislike it. Yeah. It's very, very different. Yeah. And I feel like yeah, you need to like make a meal around that. I can't describe flavors. So this is perfect for podcasting. I mean, I do get it like a slight hint of mojito, but otherwise it, I don't know how to describe it either. It's very different. I want to say that it tastes like a gym bag, but that would imply that it's not good. It's good, but tastes like a gym bag. Like I've never tasted a gym bag. It tastes like this is not how it's supposed to be consumed. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's probably more probably more a marinade. You're doing a very good job of keeping those packing peanuts contained. I'm trying. Because Ryan and Danielle got a golden doodle. A golden doodle? Mm-hmm. That's what Mia is. Oh. So she's half golden retriever, half poodle. Oh, I just thought she had curly hair. So she was an expensive ass dog. Maybe pretty upset if I killed it. Well, technically Paul Cluell would kill it. Yeah. By the, by the canine friendly packing peanuts. No, the packing material was all chocolates, onions, and grapes. Man, I, um, I was reading Henry a book the other day. It's, it's got all the Disney animals in it, eating different food. And for some reason they have one of the 101 Dalmatians eating a big glass pitcher full of melted chocolate. Well, Dalmatians are really bad dogs. So I guess that's the message. You're trying to suddenly kill all of them. They're trying to set up the 100 Dalmatians prequel to the original movie. It sounds like I didn't, I was confused. I had to explain to him that you should not give a dog chocolate. See this, uh, I liked this because it kind of builds on the joke we just made. Dalmatian juice. What is it? It's Pittsburgh dads hot sauce. Yeah, I like it already. I like the label. I guess this is a Pittsburgh pronunciation. Why is there a Starbucks parody with weird owls face on the front? Well, it looks like if you and I did the fusion dance from Dragon Ball Z, you get Pittsburgh dads. We look pretty good. Yeah. I like that. Let's do the fusion dance. We should have a baby day. Been sitting there for years. This is free. Can we go into the fertility clinic with the bottle in here? Just be like, we want one of these. We think we would make this. Can you forever deny ma'am? I mean, we're having an argument right now. Which one of us needs to get pregnant? Look, uh, Ryan just got a, a labradoodle. Can we just put the baby in there? I mean, can we like, can we like just like come in the same thing, just like shirt up? Like, this, this sounds like one of like the Nazi experiments that they did. But Pittsburgh dad is saying, and I guess this is a Pittsburgh thing. Yins can put it on dippy eggs. Yins? What's the Yins Z? What are dippy eggs? Well, I know what eggs are. So I figure I could, I can figure that out. That's kind of like, you know, how in Halloween you see, um, in, in cartoons, people bobbing for apples, which I've never seen in real life ever. That's what they do in Pittsburgh, but with eggs. They dippy eggs. It's ingredients, uh, age, cotton, peppers, silver vinegar, hydrogen, soybean oil, salt, uh, stabilizers. Mm. Good old stabilizers, butter flavoring, garlic, beta carotene. Let's just cut out the carrot. Middle man, just put the beta carotene right in there. And spices can tell allergens contains soy and milk. Spices. I like how it just says, it contains spices. Well, see, I don't see it says contains soy and milk and the ingredients. Okay, but the butter flavoring, I don't know. I don't know. Let's fucking try it. Yeah, let's do it here. I'll pour it so we don't mix it in with the, uh, I'll pour it in on my corner here. Oh, no. Oh, no. We're good. We're good. Just. Oh, no. Oh, no. About to have a carpet in so that just one of us is going to have to drink it. There we go. Okay. This is Pittsburgh dad. This is my Pennsylvania daddy. I'm about to eat. I'm getting a lot of this. I have a good feeling about Pittsburgh dad. So I'm getting a lot. Hmm, I'm a car. It's sort of right in the middle between like Tabasco and Buffalo sauce. Yeah, that's good. I like it a lot. I like Tabasco in moderation. And I really like Buffalo sauce. I think Tabasco is generally too vinegary for me. So this is a good, it's a good middle ground. I do. I like this a lot. That's great. Not very spicy. Well, no, I don't mean not for us, but yeah, we are. Yeah, we're pro level. We've ruined our mouths. Yeah. And we also like spicy things. Get this. I feel like I'm opening up chipmunks dolls for diamonds and cash. Man, that is a joke. I feel like three people are going to get in love. That's a joke we've made a few times before because I just love making it right. But this is really the more like what they actually do in the movie. Do you think Paul Cluell was behind the the diamond heist and the chipmunks movie? Is that what you're implying? I'm flying. He's a poorly animated man. Yeah. Trappies red devil cayenne pepper sauce. Trappies. Or since it's a devil, maybe it's trapeze. Trapeze red devil. All right. We're out of spots for sauce here. Yeah, let me make a little. Make a little reservoir. Told you how to make devil wings. Well, first you got to kill a devil. I want to kill six to eight devils because they don't have people you have. Call Michael the Paladin. I remembered. See. Yeah. I remember. You're going to kill some devils, but devil. So 12 ounces of red devil, which this is, and then a bottle of Italian salad dressing. I'll pass. I don't like this on that. Well, you probably do that here. Okay, right in the middle. This is very slowly slow. That implies that it's really hot. Let me do this red cum shot here for you. Yes. There you go. It's red cum shot after you've already jerked like once or twice. Yeah, watery. We know. We all know how we do. Okay, here we go. This is, this is trapeze. Line trapeze sauce. I bought it up. That's good. I like that. I like the Pittsburgh dad better. Yeah, I do too. This is more closer to the Tabasco spectrum. Yeah. Not as hot. Okay. Here's a thing wrapped in a blue bag. Here's one just in a giant eagle shopping bag. Giant eagle represent. So I think, I think Paul's bubble wrap that budget ran out. Oh, it's plastic and not glass. Got you. The winking lizard tavern barbecue sauce. All right, going to use that in a D&D game. It's going to happen. Yep. You know what, what in that I have in all of my games? I feel like I should know that, but I don't. The do drop in. Oh, the do drop. Yeah. Where did that come up with that? I heard it on days of our lives. Well, that's how you connect your game to days of our lives. That's like, it's days of our lives canon. Jonathan Brand is used to hang out there all the time. I mean, Stefano is a villain. I've used so many times. All right, winking lizard. Is this supposed to be spicy? What kind of lizard to have a barbecue sauce? Barbecue. Okay. So not spicy. Yeah. Yeah, that's thick. Here, let me pass you a, pass you a tindy. My fingers are really, really gross and dirty right now. Mmm. That is. Mmm. That's a little different. It is a little sweet, but that's okay. I like that no barbecue sauce sometimes. Oh, this is going to be a good one. It's a flashlight. This is a, I could tell already I could see through the packaging. It's one of those Dave's and sanity sauce. Chug, chug, chug. These are, man, they make such good shit. How mad do you think Ryan would be if we both just drank that bottle of Dave's and sanity sauce and then just had the most violent illness in this room? We just vomit and shit everywhere and then just die. We got you, Ryan. Have you ever had pure capsaicin? No. Did you know, I heard this little podcast earlier this week, someone was talking about a festival they went to where they had a booth set up where they would just, you could pay them and they would give you pure capsaicin to try. No, are you insane? Yeah, that's, I would try it too. Because there's, I think I've talked about at the, at the nursing home, there was one rich lady who could afford her own private room and she had a, like, a glass container with a lock on it and she wore the lock around her neck and inside of it was, I feel like it was Dave's and sanity. Like it was that really limited edition 16 million Skoville hot sauce and I, because Bob, I've never seen her ride. So you murdered her. I never lit her up so I took it. Yeah. So she would eat that every night on whatever she had for dinner. Oh, wow. But this is Dave's gourmet and sanity sauce. It looks like I see like pepper flakes actually in the, in the sauce. I don't know how this compares to the, because we've had the Carolina Reaper and the ghost pepper. Yes. I've got a bottle of the ghost pepper at home. The Carolina Reaper. The Carolina Reaper is in, in my fridge. I was hot. Now what, which one is this? This is in sanity sauce. Just in sanity sauce. Okay. All right. It is thick. It is a very dark red. Let's get a lot. Okay. It's what you might expect like a demon or evil God's blood to look like. Yes. I like it. All right. I got a lot on there. Look at that. All right. Well, I got to do just about as good. It does. It looks like blood. It really does look like blood. All right. Here we go. Oh, that's Dave's. Yep, that's hot. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I'm going in for more. I like this a lot. This is really hot. This is really hot. Oh, fuck. It was really fucking hot. This is really hot. Yeah. Good thing I've got this, uh, monster ultra red to really bring out the heat. I got the hot hiccups. Oh, man. You all right? Oh, man. Now confirm to me what happened. What it looked like, it looked like you hiccup and when you inhaled, um, very volatile, hot spit went down your throat. Uh-huh. Yeah. And then, yeah. Go. You okay? Need a moment. Yeah. Yeah. It was not expecting it to be that hot. That was really hot. And we ate a lot of it on our chicken. Yeah. Like if it were ketchup, it's the amount of ketchup we were doing. Friday. Oh, oh. Oh, that's what you know. I think it was really hot. I hiccup. Yeah. I didn't know that about about you. I learned something today. Our club makes me cough and hot stuff makes me hiccup. You look, you're like, uh, comically drunk character from a 1960s, uh, afternoon sitcom. I was already hot. So, um, I am, I was already sweating. Now I'm really sweating. No, he's running. I did not know you hiccup for hot stuff. I didn't, you didn't even hiccup at Hattie B's. Yeah, if it's really hot, it makes me hiccup. Yeah. So when we do our live recording from the pure capsaicin booth, there's just going to be a lot of, a lot of hiccup. Yep. Oh, fuck. Anything else in there? Do you want to eat some hiccup peanuts? Can you believe people are, we're getting like Patreon money and we're literally burping into microphones right now. Like it's, what is this 1980s Nickelodeon? What is going on? Oh, here's another one. I feel like this is Dave's too. Huh, I'm worried about you. Are we good? Sorry. I can't help it. I think I'm gonna have to. Uh, yeah, it will be. Ooh, Dave's gourmet. Never seen this before. Cool cayenne pepper. Cool cayenne pepper. Okay. I dropped the knife. You sound like the sore leg, man. What did you pour that? I will pour that. So I don't know, hiccup and fling it everywhere. This looks kind of soupy almost. This doesn't look as thick. But it's a vinegary kind of base. All right. I'm gonna pour it right. Oh, yeah. Oh, oh, oh, yeah. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I know it's cool cayenne pepper hot sauce because the peppers have sunglasses on it on the label. I have a hard time tasting it, but it's not it's not super hot, but it is it does have a nice flavor. I like that. I like vinegar based sauces like on actual barbecue. Yeah. Like if I'm dipping something in barbecue sauce, I want it to be, um, you know, thick. And this kind of, this kind of has a consistency of like a vinegar barbecue sauce. I believe that is it. Is that it? Should we dump the box out, pack all these peanuts out to make sure? He probably has something hidden under a flap. If I know anything about Paul Cluell said he likes to hide things under box flaps and his flaps. All right. I want some more of that, Dave's. Which one? I want the hot stuff. The insanity. I do. I want the insanity. Thank you. I'm gonna finish up this tindy. See if I can give myself the hiccups. Yep. I too want to sound like a prop in Star Wars. And that it mines over for like I'm done with. I'm done with the hiccups. All right. I think this is hotter than I think this insanity sauce is hotter than the ghost pepper sauce. Yeah. It's insane plus. So I don't think it's as hard as the Carolina Reaper, but it's harder than the ghost pepper. Yeah. I agree with that. Here we go, an evens blood. We good. I heard that window sound again. That's because I touched my laptop. We can't recreate this eating. We're out of tindies. That's good. Thank you, Paul. So much. Yeah. Very nice. Array. Mm hmm. All these different sauces. Seven sauces in a salsa. That's good. Pretty good. Thank you very much. Thank you very much for taking out roughly 30 minutes for an intro. That's so good. That's how good we did. Great. Because I'm not gonna lie. I don't have much to say about X-Men. I mean, five minutes of it, I can take out of us sniffing and me burping and hiccuping and opening packet. Oh, that makes it feel real. You remember how the listeners like, I love it when you leave that kind of stuff in because it makes me feel like I'm really there. Well, as long as you're not crunching directly into the mites. Yes. All right. Do you hear that? Do you hear that, Dave? I do. I hear that. That hiccuping, is it what? Is that a hiccuping train? Mm hmm. Yep. Which, of course, just my face on it. It's the pandemonium summon train with my face on it. Which, of course, Usher's in a segment that we like to call. Dave reads from Wikipedia. My voice, I can feel already starting to crack under the pressure of Dave's insanity sauce. Hold on. Let me wash. Let me wash this down with a swig of Monster Energy on your red. Your stomach and your esophagus love you. By the way, I did not count how many tindies I ate. So in my fitness pal, I'm just gonna put in whatever. I'm just gonna type that in as calories and see what it's, see what it outputs. I bet you ate, I bet you ate six. Six? That sounds about right. No. Okay. Okay, guys. X-Men, parentheses, 1992 video game. For the Capcom fighting game, see X-Men, children of the atom. No. I'd like to do that sometime. That's a fun game, I remember. Spiral. It's all about spiral. X-Men is an arcade game produced by Konami. Have you heard of them? Konami. Isn't that a Pittsburgh dad thing? But Konami and your jibby eggs. It was produced by Konami in 1992. It is a side-scrolling beat 'em up based on the Marvel Comics characters of the same name. The character designs of the X-Men and the supervillains in the game are based on the 1989 X-Men pilot episode X-Men colon pride of the X-Men. I did not know that was a thing. I'm gonna have to follow this link. This whole episode might be a Wikipedia rabbit hole. Have you heard of that? X-Men pride of the X-Men? No. A pilot episode, I guess, precursor to the Saturday morning cartoon? Oh, I have seen that. You have? It's super weird because Wolverine has an Australian accent. Okay, do you think they're just setting it up for the movies? They consulted the Oracle and it was a vague interpretation, so they just know what it. In the game, players control one of the six playable X-Men to defeat their enemy Magneto. Konami made a six-player version of the game utilizing two screens housed in a deluxe cabinet. And as we say here, deluxe. In HD part of the game by Backbone Entertainment was released by Konami on PlayStation Network and Xbox Live Arcade on December 14, 2010 and December 15, 2010, respectively, followed by mobile versions, which I don't know why you would want to do that to yourself, for iOS and Android devices. It is no longer available for purchase as of 2014. That goes into what you said earlier. Can you imagine playing this on a tablet or a phone? That would be awful. It sounds like the worst thing. Like any beat them up, like Core's Light Super Refreshment. Because we, I remember we played this at my first part when I moved back and it was, I think it was four or five of us. And we, I bought it, we sat down and then we got all the achievements in one go. Platinum that shit. Immediately. And it wasn't that hard, didn't take that long. Nope. This is a short game. I replayed it and probably beat it in probably 40 minutes. I played it pretty leisurely. I guess that's kind of long for an arcade game. Yeah. I mean, and I watch runs on the internet that were between 30, 35 to 40 minutes. I should have checked. I should have checked for runs on the internet because I, then I could have a comment section. Spoilers, there's not going to be a YouTube comment section. So, did you have any fond memories as a kid of this game? Yeah, I remember the first time I saw this. And I was blown away by two monitors inside, two displays inside an arcade cabinet. I had never really seen that before. And I thought that was really cool. And I thought that that was probably combined with the fact that it was a licensed X-Men video game. That was good. Because I had never encountered one of those yet, either. This was a huge deal. This was a huge, huge deal. So, did you play it at the same tricky cheese I did at our local? No, I think I was in Iowa at the time when it came out. And I remember there was an arcade there called, I think it's called Pocket Change. And they had... Like the one in our mall that's went defunct twice. Okay. Then it was tilled because I get those confused because I can never remember which one is which. So, it was tilled in Cedar Rapids. They had one. And it was I remember when it first came out, it was always packed. And then, I guess a couple months later, it wasn't nearly as packed. But I feel like they got their money's worth because it's one machine. But I mean, when it was packed, that's four people pumping quarters into the game. And it's... Or six people, six people. Yeah, I'm sorry, six people. I've seen the four-person version before too. I think like the four-person version always seemed to end up in like, I remember seeing those in like bowling alleys and mini golf lobbies. But yeah, the six-person, I think I've only seen two cabinets of the six-person version. Because I believe we had the six-person version and the checky cheese that is local here. Yeah. And I think there was the four-person version at Venture River, the water park. Venture River, excitement's around the band. Come on and catch the wave. Yeah. Thank you, Venture River, for your sponsorship of this exhibition. Pretty awful now. Is it? Yeah. But I remember, I thoroughly enjoyed this. Of course, I love the exhibition as a kid. Approaching this cabinet, though, led to immediate confusion as in like, did they do Jubilee wrong? Because I had no, no fucking clue. Who dazzlers? Yeah, I've still never seen a comic or anything with her in it. Yeah. Dazzler. Yeah. It does seem like they missed the boat a little bit, right? That's a very weird choice. It's an extremely weird choice. They could have gone with almost anybody else. In fact, they could have gone with anybody else, I feel like. Yeah. They could have gone with Jean Grey. That would have been cool. Jean Grey would have been better, yeah. Because you've got Storm in there already. You got Colossus in there. You got Wolverine. You got Cyclops, Nightcrawler, and Dazzler. Five of these are like recognizable X-Men. One of these is not like the other. You could have gone, you could have gone so many different routes with it. Like, why Dazzler? I still don't understand. Are you familiar with Dazzler? Barely. Vaguely. You know how I'm familiar with her? I played this game and I was like, who is Dazzler? And just ask people because I didn't have the Internet at the time. She a pop star with power similar to Jubilee or something like that. I think that's, yeah. She's actually Jubilee's mommy. Did you know that? Oh, no. Yeah. In Canon, she's Jubilee's mommy from the past who travels into the future. This is a joke. Okay. I mean, in X-Men, you could have fucking told me anything. I realize that after I said it, that's all the expression of your face. It's Earth 451's Jubilee where instead of being Asian, she's white and becomes a pop star. Yeah. She is, Tyler. Here we go. Here's the full publication history on Dazzler. Yeah. So anybody who played this game and also had those same questions, here is that thing that's been bothering you for 20 years. Do you know what her mutant ability is, Tyler? I'm going to assume it's some sort of pyrotechnics. Okay. Her mutant ability is to convert sound vibrations into light and energy beams. She was, oh, cool. Cool. Check this out. Oh, boy. This is the, you know, this is always a good thing. Ready for it? Mm-hmm. This character, Tyler, Dazzler, was originally developed as a cross-promotional multimedia creation between Casablanca Records and Marvel comics. How the fuck did she end up in the fucking arcade bin? That's like somebody exclusively for like the Pizza Hut X-Men comic, making it into the arcade cabinet. Someone at fucking Konami was a partner with Casablanca Records. It had to have been like something like that, despite the fact that Dazzler was originally commissioned as a disco singer, the character shifted to other musical genres, including rock, Tyler, and adult contemporary. I need a good, good, adult contemporary X-Men. She starred in a self-titled solo series in the early 1980s, which lasted 42 issues. She also was in a Marvel graphic novel titled Dazzler, Colin, the movie, a four-issue limited series, co-starring The Beast, titled Beauty and the Beast. She later joined the cast of the X-Men. She was briefly a member of the spin-off group, X-caliber, but has since rejoined the X-Men. She said, "No, fuck it. I like it in America." So that's it. She does have, I mean, there's a lot of links here to stuff she's been in, like ex-babies. She's in an ex-babies. There's her original. There's her first appearance. She kind of looks like David Bowie from the Labyrinth. Because, yeah, this looks completely different than the arcade version. Minus the Bulging Cock, of course. Are there other, because she looks like Jim from the arcade cabinet. Yeah. Nicky was a fan of Jim. That's how I... Believe it or not... Jim Belushi. Sure time. Jim Norton. Believe it or not, I was not a huge fan of the cartoon Jim when I was a young boy. I've never seen it. I know the mood they came out with a few years ago was terrible. And that's a shame, because I was... Nicky was excited for that, and then I heard it was awful, and I never mentioned it to her again. I mean, why Beast? It sounds like if you're going to combo over somebody, put her with Banshee. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Banshee would be great, because he screams and then she converts it to energy, and then she blasts it into Bishop, and then he blasts it into... I don't know, someone else who takes energy and turns it into energy. It's a bashing shot. Damn! We'd be like the human centipede. The mutant centipede. The homo superior centipede. We sew Banshee's mouth on a Dazzler's asshole. And she opens her mouth, and a beam of energy flies out. I like it. So Dazzler's in this game, and it's ridiculous, and it's stupid. And anytime I played this game with six people, no one wanted it. We fought over who was not Dazzler. Yep. Who's your favorite character to play as? I'm sorry for my answer in advance, but I do have to be honest, and that is Wolverine. Not a very original choice. If Wolverine was taken, then it was Nightcrawler. Okay, because my favorite person to play as was Colossus. Yeah. A lot of playing is Colossus. I was never a huge Colossus fan. I could see you as a Colossus guy. Excuse me, as a Russian man made of organic steel. Yeah, absolutely. In fact, when I dream, that's how I dream you as. When you do this recording, I look like Colossus from the Deadpool movie. Yeah, any time that you make an appearance in a dream of mine, you are Colossus. You are made of CGI steel. Which makes all those sex dreams really, really hot. Super hot. Man, I thought Angel from the Deadpool movie was so fucking hot. Ajax's companion, she's become companion. Yeah. So I thought she's incredibly hot. The strong lady. Yeah. And whenever it didn't show her boob out, I was disappointed. Yeah, I think everyone was a little disappointed. Although, I do think that they nailed Colossus. Like, I love Colossus in that movie. Better than all in the X-Men movie. Absolutely. Actually show that. Absolutely, 100%. I agree with that. But let's see, because all of them have, because Wolverine has energy projection powers in the arcade game. Yeah, we'll see. Tyler, it's because he moves his claws so fast. That's how he moves his claws so fast. That they extend the full range of the screen. Which is probably, let's see. Okay, so Wolverine, I think, is like five, three or something like that. So turn him on his side. One, two, three, four. So probably about 20 feet. His claws extend 20 feet and kills everything on his screen. Because I guess the limit makes them all different as their mutant powers. But then even their mutant powers are all sorta similar. Yeah, because they clear the screen. That's what they all do. The area is just a little different. Because Cyclops has his beam. Wolverine's claws project out in a line in front of him. Right. Not crawler teleport. Just he just teleports. Kind of a random teleport everywhere. Yeah, he like streams out. Instead of teleporting, he kind of like makes a million of himself. As he traces across the screen. Because Storm does a tornado in a line. Yeah. Colossus does a large area. Which also makes about as much sense as Wolverine's energy claws. What does it sound like when he does that? Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Because he, I don't know how they extrapolated his power for this. Or because he, he's all, he's organic steel. I know. He uses power. And he's still long, he's ordinary. He becomes flesh. And then he has like that energy sphere go out from him. And then he's, then he's metal again. It's like he's, like, he's throwing off the metal around him. And then absorbing it back in. Well, I get like, okay, I understand like they, you, you. They can make, you know, just like fucking squash Colossus in a second. Or can he not affect organic steel? Is it different than, you know, organic steel? No one knows why they took Colossus on board. Because they were going to fight my, you know, Colossus, come on. Uh, this is not good. I, I do have no projection powers. Man, he will kill me. No, we're taking Wolverine too. Yeah, who else do we need? Uh, a metal man? Guys, trust me. I'm a professor. I know what I'm doing. No, go get Iron Man. No, we're good. It's fine. Iron Man, war machine Colossus and Wolverine. We're going to buy a magnet. Magneto's over. Oh, and Dazzler and Dazzler. Thank God. I, I get, I, like, I like that Colossus is in this game. But I do also agree that his mutant power is really weird. And it's like, you can't have him just walking around as like non-steel, non-steel Colossus until he uses mutant ability. And he turns into steel for like five seconds. Yeah. So I, I don't know. I guess the same way like Cyclops just like only rarely uses his eye beams. Most of them he's just punching a kick. Yeah. Well, he could have done. Wolverine always uses his claws, but they're as effective as. He could have done Zangief's pulling his fists out and spin. That'd be good. Yeah. That would have been good. Just rip off Zangief Konami. I'm sure Capcom would not mind if he took the Street Fighter moveset. If you just copy and paste my cigar and just make it Colossus. Yeah. Oh God. Man, can you imagine? Can you imagine Haggar as Colossus? Yeah, I can. That would be pretty great. I used to love, um, can remember one of the first episodes of the X-Men cartoon I ever saw was their first encounter with Juggernaut. Was Mike Haggar present? Mike the X-Men. Because they fight Juggernaut for the first time. It was also the first time they meet Colossus. I remember thinking like, man, Colossus and Juggernaut should be like, are they like really close? Or are they like out like Power Range? Like I thought you mean like they're really good buds. Is that right? Yeah, they super close. Because I remember talking to Shake about it. And of course, Shake always says Juggernaut. So he's like, Juggernaut in Colossus? I have to give it to Colossus. Colossus wear him down over time. So they definitely win. It looked like, I mean, he was kind of getting his ass taken to him in the cartoon. Nah, he'd win. That's you. I love those arguments like as a kid because it pretty much just boiled down to. Who do you like better? Yeah. And then, and of course now Colossus has the, whatever the gem is, the spirit of the God. Yeah. So Sarac or something like that, right? No, that's something else. But yes, I know what you're talking about. And he's more powerful than Cane Marco was with it. Oh, I didn't know that. Because the God favors him more. So sometimes Colossus will have like horns and additional powers in the form. Because the God just likes him more. I read there was an arc where God, I can't remember what arc it was. But yeah, Juggernaut essentially went on a march from the East Coast to the United States to the West Coast. And like, that was how Colossus like decided he's going to stop Juggernaut. Is he made a deal with the demon that Iljana, I guess, worked for? I don't know. This is exactly why when we talked about X-Men for the Genesis, I was like, I do not want to be qualified as an X-Men guy. Because like, I loosely know what's going on here. This is more recent X-Men stuff, so. Yeah. And so like, he made a deal with that demon who usurped Juggernaut's power and essentially gave it to Colossus. And that's where they stopped them. I think they stopped them at like San Francisco where the X-Men base had been moved to. I don't shrug. I don't know, it's like I haven't been up on my X-Men. Yeah, it's fair. I stopped like, man, I feel like I stopped watching wrestling and reading X-Men comics at about the same time. Yeah. And not because like, I disliked one of them. No, I get it. Wrestling, well wrestling because I hate Triple H. What is that? Is it he's a wrestler? When Triple H is like dead, I'll watch wrestling again. What's wrong with him? I just think he's awful. I just think he's just an awful wrestler and person. And I hated all of his gimmicks and then that he married the McMahon family. And he's just, he's just there. You know, I just hate it. I hate Triple H. So how much of this is like wrestling fiction and like how much like is the McMahon, like is that a real thing or is that a character? I'm really kissing people off right now. I believe Triple H literally did marry Stephanie McMahon. Like he married into the family. So now he just, because I don't know, he had, he was the whole- He was so disgusted right now. He's the whole generation X thing. The whole like on your crotch, X suck it thing. What? Have you never, the people, it was a huge thing. And like, I remember 90s early 2000s crossing the X over your crotch. Oh yeah. Suck it. Oh, he invented that? It comes from that shtick. I think they call it, is that a, is that a crotch chop? I think that's- Call it the degeneration X suck it. Trademark. And then X-Men, I can't remember like when what happened that kind of turned me off just a little bit. And I was like, yeah, I'll pick it up later. Well, it's hard to follow. Yeah. Like it's like an X-Men as a comic is notoriously difficult to follow. Because even when I was reading it religiously in middle school, I couldn't tell you what the fuck was going on. Because it's like, first of all, there were like five fucking X-Men comics like that came out each month. And if I wanted to know the full story, I had to buy all those. I was a kid in middle school with no job. There's like, I was lucky to get one X-Men comic a month, and I would have to choose. Like, do I want to get on Canny X-Men? Do I want to get X-Men? Well, this storyline continued in X-caliber. Do I know when to get that? And so, I don't know. And I like Deadpool, so I wanted to get X-Force. So I had to make some hard, hard decisions. I think I stopped really reading whenever my needle pulled the adamantium out of Wolverine. That's like the last huge thing that I remember as a kid. Remember, I have those comics. The only comics that I remember like, back boarding and rapping and everything like that. So I have those, because I remember the hologram on the cover. I thought was awesome. So yeah, I think after that, then that may be kind of sad, and I just kind of laid off for a while. Yeah, Wolverine, without adamantium, was sad. Like, that was, I'm sure it was meant to be sad. But like, what he turned into after that was not a fun, was not a fun journey for me. Because that's when he went all like, primitive, and got back to his quote, unquote, animal roots. He became feral like the name of his name and for that. Yeah, and he wore a stupid blue bandana over his head. It was so fucking dumb. They took everything cool about Wolverine. It's like they had a board meeting, and they're like, "This Wolverine guy, too popular. What could we do to make him like, super, super unlikable?" It was our most popular character, which really ranted him for over the years. Yeah, let's just fuck that up. Yeah, let's just-- For a little while. Yeah. For a little while. We'll give it all back to him. Well, it's comics. And then we'll double the money back. Yeah, it's comics. In four years, it's all gonna come back full circle. But yeah, well, what do kids like about him? He has unbreakable bones. Oh, yeah, fuck that. Break 'em all. What else? A couple of bones. Claws? Okay, well, let's make people think that his claws are gone because they're part of the metal. Let's make them think that. And then we'll reveal that he actually has claws or part of his-- They're part of his skeletal system, but they're shitty bone. You know, everybody was kind of like they like saber tooth, but you know, he basically had sharp fingernails. Let's do something similar with Wolverine. What else? Well, you know what? People really like his costume. Which one? Ah, well, they kind of like his-- There's two costumes. His two costumes are both really good. Should we make a shitty one? His brown and yellow mustard costume or its combination of both mustards. And then the one-- The black and yellow one with the blue underwear. Oh, that was good. That was good. Can we just put him in a dew rag? Yeah, let's do that. Sweet, done. We just wrote Wolverine. What's next in the docket? We're supposed to write the script for Wolverine X-Men Origin. Yeah. All right, let's do that. Anyone heard of this Deadpool guy? Yeah, doesn't he have Cyclops' IV power? I think so, and was he Mortal Kombat? I think so. Yeah, he had the arm, the cloth. What's the thing everybody likes about him? Ah, his mouth. So it's shut. Yeah, done. Can we sew his mouth on Banshee's ass, please? I mean, we'll need him to get around quickly. Can you let him teleport? Yeah. Yeah. Wait, he has all of the X-Men's powers, right? Yeah. Yeah, he does. Let's make Ryan Reynolds. Well, say he's Deadpool, but then also say he's that mimic character from like the '70s. He was in the cartoon to remember? I don't remember mimicking that. Because he, I'm pretty sure that he dies in the cartoon. Because I think, again, I'm not an X-Men guy. I don't want that moniker, but I think he died in the comics, like in the late '60s or '70s. And then I remember early on in the cartoon, I was excited because he was like, there was an episode and it's like fucking mimic. And then he dies and I think comes back as a villain. 'Cause I was sad when Morph died, so like that was my childhood tragedy. That, I got him confused. I didn't think of Morph, I was thinking of Morph. Speaking of Morph, Tyler did Mystique trick you in this game. Well, whatever she announced herself. All right, let's go through the bosses. I love, by the way, I love the bosses in this game. Like X-Men for the Genesis really like shame on you, because this game actually has some fucking characters that people know. Well, first is Pyro. Pyro. Super powerful, super powerful Pyro. Tyler, he can't create Flame. He only controls it. I only can look at it. And let's see, Pyro, 'cause he has, I mean, I don't know, you'd think him being constantly beaten down by like six X-Men. Pyro would fold pretty quickly, where Colossus could just rush Pyro and take him out in one punch. I don't know, he's pretty stout, pretty stout. After that, it's the blob. The blob, I think, honestly, I think the blob next to Magneto is the hardest boss in the game, because I have a problem figuring him out. And I always forget that you need to knock him on his ass before you go all out, because he has this like, he has this, you can't escape his grapple. Like, if you're near him and he goes to grab you, you're grabbed and he'll throw you to the ground and it's gonna deal a lot of damage. 'Cause, I mean, the blob, it's I feel like he's in one of those villains whose power sort of fluctuates. - Yeah. - Depending on-- - They all do. - I hate to break it to you. 'Cause what, it took like the Hulk to actually lift blob up when he set himself into his stance. - Sure. - Something like that. And when he did, he ripped up like an acre of land with him or some shit. - Oh, yeah. Oh, comics. I love comics, but at the same time, I don't. And who was the white monster in the third level? - We need to go. - We need to go. Okay. - We need to go. - What is he for? I'm not familiar with this guy at all. - Correct me if I'm wrong. - This guy could have been Ahab. I have no clue. - I think he is more a Wolverine villain than anything. - Okay. - I'm happy to go down the Wikipedia rabbit hole with the European line. - What's up to you? - I'm probably gonna find a whole bunch of information on the Native American lore of the cannibal. - The demon with no feet. - Yeah. And that's what, I just looked it up. That's what he is in X-Men as well. - Okay, good. Let's see, after that, it's master mold. So I was familiar with master mold. - Yeah, he's kind of, he kind of just spits enemies out. Like, you don't really fight him, right? - Because he's, I remember he was at close to the end of the run of the cartoon they finally find. - Yeah. - Because he's the size of like a skyscraper. - Yeah. - Because he makes the full-size sitinels out of his chest. - Right. - But of course, he's just a little taller than you. - Yeah, yeah. - As are all the sitinels. - Uh-huh. - Let's see, then the white, then the white queen. - Yes. - Who never turns into diamond. She's just just a girl in leathers just fighting you. - She has a very masculine voice, however. I don't know if you noticed that or not. - Uh-uh. - Yeah, she's a joke. She's a joke of a boss, honestly. - Uh-huh. - After that juggernaut, who if he thought juggernaut was tough enough, knock off his helmet and he picks up a bazooka. - Yeah. - Because he needs it. He needs it pretty badly. - Yes. - And then you fight multiple pharaohs. - Yeah. - That's a boss. - The minibosses do not make sense. Because there's pharaohs and then in island M, you fight a bunch of bees. - Like they're miniboss. - Red bees. - No. - Just, and then at some point in I think it's in a cave. Yes, in a cave, you fight the green goblins glider and a bunch of bats. So there are parts that do not make sense. - Well, and then you think you fight Magneto. - Yeah. - Because he tells you, I am Magneto. Like, okay, finally, here's Magneto. Oh, no, no, that was Mystique. Okay, all right. - Okay, I want to pause for just a moment to explain to you how Mystique got me. Mystique got me as a kid. 'Cause I remember getting to this point as a kid in the arcade. And she, okay, so right after you defeat the pharaohs with their sides, Professor X rolls up in his wheelchair and his hover wheelchair and says, "X-Men found Magneto this way." And like, so you follow him, you're walking, you're walking, you're walking. And then he kind of turns around, Professor X turns around, parks his wheelchair and stands up. And I remember when he stood up, I remember freaking out as a kid. I was like, what are they doing? - There is a Mystique frame in like the last episode of the cartoon where it shows a group picture and he's standing up because it's like, he's in his wheelchair and one frame talking to somebody. Next, it's two people talking, him being one of them, he's standing up and then when it goes back, he's sitting in his wheelchair. - There's danger room, there's danger room, it's fine. - So I remember that's what we were, there was some exit movie we were talking about going to and Docus wanted to go as standing Charles Xavier from the one fucked up stage. So yes, Mystique got me because once he stands up and I freaked out for a second, he turns in the Mystique. - Opens a pit and you fall into. - Yeah, it's a trap. - And then you find Professor X behind an energy wall. - Yeah. - I guess unable to use his powers. - You're right. - This whole time. - Yes. - No, he can talk to you. He can use his powers to talk to you. He's just not gonna help himself. - Mm-hmm, and with Magneto, then you beat Magneto. Oh, no, Mystique again, sorry. - Mystique, it was Mystique. - Then you fight, then you fight the real deal Magneto. - And Magneto is hard, he is a difficult, like I feel like this was the point in the game where the developers were like, well, they know they're at the end and we're gonna get them for every fucking quarter they've got left in their pocket. - Uh-huh, uh-huh. - Because it is like, here is how I always beat Magneto. Spam that mutinability until I die, spam that mutinability until I die, spam that mutinability until I die. It takes me about four deaths to get through Magneto. I don't even try to fight him legit. I don't try to punch him, I don't try to jump kick him, I just spam mutinability. - 'Cause he brings up his magnetism circle and he's basically, you get close to him and yeah. - Yep. - And he has his own, he has his own weird energy projectile, he throws that, you know, concentrated magnetism. - Yep, master of Magnet. What he announces, he is when you fight him. That and for Paul Cluell, welcome to die. Which by the way, I think Capcom did a fucking marvelous job with Deadpool and Marvel versus Capcom 3 because that is one of his intro sayings, is so meta. And one of the fucking things I love, I've always loved about that character. He's quoting a arcade game from the early 90s. I think that's a really nice, a really nice touch. Well done, Capcom. That's the game. It's a brawler, we forgot to mention that. - It's a yeah, so I like it. - So I like it, I do, I like this game. - I liked it a lot better. Played through it again, like I still enjoyed it, but once we played through it and got all the achievements, like, that was done. - It's a standard. - I'd never have to play it again. - It's a standard brawler, it really is. There aren't the only, the only bell and/or whistle that the game has is that it is the X-Men. - Yeah. That's it, if this were, if this-- - Even then like the X-Men are still like, the art is kind of strange. Everyone looks very devilish. - Yeah, I like the art style, but yeah, like I agree that like, the movement is kind of stilted. Like they don't move like, I imagine the X-Men move in my head as a kid. And of course that's exactly how they move. But like even like, okay, since children of the atom was mentioned earlier, like that's the first time I feel like the X-Men movement was nailed, because like Wolverines like all crouch down, and he's kind of like waving his claws around. Everyone seems fluid. It's that like, it's that like street fighter level of animation detail that I feel like no one really captures it other than Capcom. So to me, all the characters, well, I thought like, I mean, they're big, the characters in this arcade, in the brawler, they're big. I just feel like they kind of move stilted. And I don't think this would be a great game with a, with a generic franchise. Like if this had been like, Bill and Ted's excellent brawler, probably not going to be as memorable to me. Or it might be, but just for the wrong reasons. Like dude, do you remember when he plays George Carlin? - Yeah, what are six characters of Bill and Ted? You can be Bill and Ted, Death. - King is Khan. George Carlin, so crates. - Rufus of it, yes. - And the two, the two little creatures that can fuse together and then be separate. - Then we just threw in Mr. Belvedere because just for just the half of it, arcade game. All right. - It was a contract between the game developer and then like ABC, so then Mr. Belvedere. - Tyler, did you know that Mr. Belvedere was actually a cross media promotion between ABC and Marvel comics? - I believe it. - I believe it. - Before, you might not know this. This, but before Jarvis, it was just Belvedere. - They should have stuck with that in the movies then. Old Tron would have been very different. - Yeah. Who was Mr. Belvedere's arch rival? I don't recall. It was, was it Mr. Belvedere? - Just white kid problems. - Yeah. Well, yeah, those are insurmountable. It certainly wasn't the police. Tyler. - Yes, Dave. - I've had a lot of fun eating chicken tendies. Like just absolutely getting nothing right about the X-Men today. It's been a blast. I'm sure I'm not going to hear anything about this for anybody who's listening. But before we close things out, I've got some important questions for you. - Okay. - The first of which, if you were to give this game a beard that sums up how you feel about it, what kind of beard would it be? - I would give it the, the beard of, well, the natural beard of Chuck E. Cheese. - Chuck E. Cheese has a beard? - He's got my mouse fur on his face. - His entire body is a beard. - His whole beard, his whole beard body. Because it's a lot better when you were a kid. - Okay, that's fair. It didn't nearly tickle as much when I was a kid. Tyler. - Yes, Dave. If you were to give this game a pair of glasses, what kind of glasses would it be and why? - I would give it the, after you get a whole bunch of tickets from Chuck E. Cheese. - Yes, I like this theme. - You could go buy these red-- - A JVC Boomb box. - These, that's a lot of fucking ticket. - Yeah. - These star-framed red glasses. So I give it those, because you were, you were in love with them while you were there. - Yes. - But once you got home-- - You never were. - We didn't talk about that. - No. - No, these are about churching glasses. - All it took was one kid to call you a name. I'm not going to say what that name is. - Something relating to Elton John. - Yes. - Because he also wore glasses like this at one point. - Yeah, that was good. That was good. I like it. Tyler, I didn't look up how much this game is on Amazon because I doubt that they have-- - I didn't think they're selling the arcade sale on Amazon. - D-lugs cabinet on Amazon. - It's got to be like four grand if you're buying like the six-person cabinet, right? - It depends on the condition. But yeah, I wouldn't think four grand is out of the question. Like I bet if you found one that was in really good condition, original cabinet that had maybe been restored, yeah, I think they would get 4,000 easily for it. I almost bought a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cabinet that was being sold locally here. And it wasn't in super great condition. And it was, they started out asking for $2,000. And I was like, hey, I see that you've had this posted for a long time. What is the lowest amount of money you'll take for this? And unfortunately the deal fell through because the guy was like, my mom said I can't sell this. That was it, like I had arranged it. - They're like a 12-year-old with this arcade tablet on the internet? - I had arranged a deal with this guy. And like I had, I got the money out of the bank. - No, no, this is a really cool magic car but I'll give you for your charge card. - My mom said we had to make weird trade back. - I had the money out of the bank. I had a cash in hand, I had set a time to meet this guy. I had set up transportation for the cabinet. And I'm so glad that I did this. The day I was supposed to go pick it up, I called him. And I said, hey, I'm on my way to come get the arcade cabinet, to come get the Ninja Turtles. And he said, oh no, I forgot my mom said I can't sell this. He said that it wasn't enough money. And I was so proud of myself because I had talked this guy down. Like I had talked this guy down. Because he was my age, he was having his first baby, and his wife was like, you got to get rid of this fucking arcade game. Because we need, like this is taking up prime crib real estate. So it took a lot of effort on my part because I worked with this guy slowly. I sent him an email asking him about the price. And I was like, eh, too high. And then I kept my eye on it. And I was like, OK, it's still on Craigslist. Two weeks later, I sent an email. Hey, man, I know she still got that machine. Will you take half of what you were asking for? No, that's not good enough. OK, thinking to myself, I'll be back in two weeks. And then like the last email I said is, hey, man, when's that baby do? Still got that arcade cabinet? And then he made like I worked out this like fucking amazing deal on the cabinet. And then yeah, his mom told him that he couldn't sell it anymore. That's that's some weird shit going on. Yeah. To use the mom excuse when you're in your 30s having that's that's weird. So that's the story. Maybe maybe he sold it to someone else and then just went into panic mode. That's where you go in panic mode. Mom said I couldn't do it. So honestly, the moral of the story, it worked out great because now I don't have a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles arcade cabinet sitting around doing nothing. Like the Street Fighter. Street Fighter is the most cat bomb that are in your cat room. So the cats like sleeping on those. Because when Henry was born, those arcade gatens are taking up prime crib real estate. Noggy. You know how it goes. That was got relegated to the cat room and no one goes in the cat room because it's supposed to catch you in there. It's hot because your hair doesn't go over there. No, no, that ammonia smell does not circulate. It'd be great for resale. I think actually one of the cats. Why does this smell clean them up with ammonia real well for you? Lock them down. Was it not supposed to do that? The for what that guy sold those for like he did not sell those for a great price. Like getting both of those cabinets for like around $500. Yeah. Like that was that was kind of an amazing deal. Yeah. Well, he basically begged you to take one of them. Yeah, because I didn't want. And then try to sell us a security system. And he was like, hey, man, can I get your email address? Or no, he asked me for my phone number. And I was thinking to myself, God, I really don't want to get calls from this guy every month. Hey, what's the status on that security system? You want to buy it yet? Because what he even told us he would go and like go to flea market and reclaim stuff and then try to sell it to us. It was just like, man, don't don't show that the sausage is made and you want us to buy sausage. No. But to be fair, because we got we got those in Nashville. Like they actually have arcade cabinets for sale there. I feel like on a regular basis, we're like here, like when something, when I find something on Craigslist, you're in Paducah, it's just like, I feel like Annie Potts from Ghostbusters. Oh, like I slammed my hand on the button. We got one. And then starts the long month, the two month game where I just try to whittle a dude down. Dude, as absolutely low as possible. Hey, I do that too, but in a very different way. Hey, man, I see you've got an arcade cabinet posted in a market that will not sell. Would you consider taking 10% off your listed price or sell it for 10% of your listed price, please? No, we'll see about that. Well, it's been, I guess there's because you've tried to plot that miss Pac-Man machine locally for a long time. Yeah, I guess you can also just act like you don't speak English. I know, man, I swear that miss Pac-Man machine that I see pops up in random Mexican restaurants here in town has to be from the same guy, it has to be because I cannot get a hold of that guy. Every time I ask someone at the restaurant, who owns this machine? They're like, we don't. I was like, okay, who does? And they just shrug. He comes in some times. That's the answer, he comes in sometimes. So like, did he just roll it in one day and not say anything? Just look it up, I'll be back. Yeah, I'd love that. You could probably go in there and just with a crowbar and pry open the front of it and take all the quarters and just be act like it. No, put his machine here, I'll see you. See you guys, thanks. Or I could just roll in and wheel it out and be like, guy who owns this sent me. You know, there's a decent chance that might work. I think it would. Or if you unplugged it and been like, well, yeah, I heard it wasn't working, so I'm going to take it in for a minute. Take it in for maintenance. Yeah. In the meantime, here's this Game Boy Advance. Just so this is not illegal, we're trading now. You said so. Yeah, it's fine. Just sign this. I just need you to nod. Can you just take this Game Boy Advance and nod for me, please? All right, great, we're done. Thank you. They cost this contract in Kentucky. Thank you very much. Thanks, pretty good for about time. Do you have any achievements? It had it on the PSN, so I didn't make any. I have two. All right. I have two. One of which I have to thank Kyle from the Experience Grind podcast for. He inadvertently gave me this achievement because he shared or their show retweeted our episode announcement for X-Men for the Genesis. And his comment with the retweet was, "X gonna give it to you." And I was like, "Damn, that was good. I should have used that for an achievement, so I'm going to do that right now." And I kind of wanted to give him a plug, too. I kind of want to work that in because he does a really good show. That is a legitimately good show that I love listening to. "X gonna give it to you." And in order to unlock that, you have to beat the game on one quarter. It's a one-quarter playthrough. I feel like we got that achievement in the at-home arcade. Is that an achievement in the Xbox Live version? It might have been. I know beating the whole game, we beat it under 20 minutes because that was the BAMP achievement. Yeah, it took me a long time to solo the game. It's a lot longer, especially because what I love about playing this with a group of people is you can coordinate. I'm going to use my mutant ability, BAM, and then the next person's like, "I'm going to use my mutant ability, BAM." You can just knock a boss down, just like that. The second achievement I have is called the Black March of Death. And in order to unlock the Black March of Death, there is a segment in the game right before you fight Mystique as Magneto, where you do a boss gauntlet. You fight all the bosses again. But what you can do is, if you don't stop moving from left to right, if you keep moving, you can get multiple bosses at once. So to unlock this achievement, what you have to do is, start at the first boss at the boss gauntlet. Don't fight them and walk all the way to Mystique. And then fight all the bosses at the same time. I mean, you can do it on the PSN version and get infinite lives, so you're fine. Yeah, that's true. You can do it on the deep web version too. [chuckles] Thanks for listening, everybody. You can find the show on iTunes, Stitcher, and SoundCloud. So to miss the next episode, Ridge of the Other Ship Monday, then next Wednesday, we're going to be talking about continuing our arcade stint. Yes. We're talking about the Simpsons. Arcade, yeah. Another classic multiplayer brawler, the whole Simpsons. All of them. All of them. Except for Maggie. Sorry. Sorry, Maggie, you don't count. I mean, she got stolen, so she couldn't be in it. I know. She's sucking on that dime. On that dime, man. Biggest marketplace. Still, to this day, no one understands what it is. It's Amazon. But it is. It's Amazon. Vote for us on Amazon. Go to Amazon. Find something called Tadpog in what I've reviewed for it. Text American Idol, please, and let them know everybody for us. Watch God, my parents, especially my dad, are so obsessed with the voice. Oh, Nikki likes the voice. So obsessed with the voice. Yeah, Nikki likes the voice. She likes all the singing shows. I almost said the singing songs, which would apply to 98% of songs that are out there. She likes the singing songs, Tyler. You know. She's not so into, like, Gregorian chants, but like all the singing songs. Not so much, right? Because he, like, what was it? He also, because just him and I watching it the other day. And he was just like, I feel like every time I go over there, I'm watching the same episode. That's his favorite episode. It's like when you're a kid. It's like, I had my favorite Ninja Turtles episode, where I would watch it just over and over again. Like, I don't go to school. Like, if I check my phone while we're watching it, whenever I'm done, he will rewind it to when I started and then watch that clip again. That's a fucking baller move right there. That is. That's a power play. Loves the voice. I would love to do that too. Like, it probably, it irks me, like, when I'm watching a show or a movie. This is the worst. I'm watching a movie that Nikki hasn't seen yet, but I love this movie. And I've seen it like four times. And then like, a really good part is coming up. Like, a really, like, important part of the movie to me that I love. And I quote all the time. And it's about to happen. And I look over and she's on her iPad on Facebook. And I think this is the movie at all. I'm going to steal your dad's move next time. I'm going to pause it. Are you done? All right. Okay, go rewind it. Play it. Not even look at the screen. Just watch her. Because Loves that he asked me. He's like, if Christina Aguilera asked you to kiss her, would you? And my response, wherever she wanted me to. Nice. And he liked that a whole lot. Yeah. Just because my mom was in the room. Yeah. My mom was in the room. He would have yelled at me. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, you could have easily been like, your mouth or her cheek or her forehead or her nose. On her pussy, dad. Daddy, I would kiss that girl on her pussy. Put that on the t-shirt. Daddy, I would kiss that girl on her pussy. For instance, he's sorry, Taryn. You thought you were getting away with this one. I'm pussy free episode. No, no, it didn't happen. Oh, the daddy, I would kiss that girl at her butthole hoodie. [LAUGHTER] And the hoodie, the hoodie, yeah. It's all true. When you draw straight up. I love to know, like, you and I get that joke because we made the asshole shape around our faces in person, but then we got to see that. Because we like a lot of assholes. I know. So we get it. Yeah. So please, if you like that, go to iTunes. Give us a five star review. Write a review. Also subscribe. There's been some, one other weird issue with iTunes. Yeah, I fucking hate iTunes, dude. I really hate iTunes. Our shoot your rage episode didn't pop up. Didn't show up. It's not in the iTunes. There's like a gap in our feed. I know. No, there is not a gap in our feed. Like you subscribe, you get it. That is a very important thing to note. Our feed is fine. It validates and I've spent some legitimate time trying to figure out why we have two episodes that do not show up on iTunes. If you already subscribe, you get them. But if you're not a subscriber and you go into iTunes and search for Tadpog, there are two episodes. There are gaps for Streets of Rage, which sucks because that was a well listened to episode. And then, I don't know, some other shitty one. Those two don't show up on iTunes. But the feed is fine. Our feed validates, I flush the cash in our system just in case that was throwing anything out of whack. That's good. I don't know what the problem is. The only thing, and then I was like, "Okay, do we have anything in the show title that is pornographic or x-rated or something where iTunes would be like, "No, sorry, we're not gonna put this one on our marketplace." I don't know the answer. The Streets are... We can't have Streets that full of rage. So, not... Also... How full are those Streets of Rage 2? They're too full. Take it off. Take it off. I'm super annoyed by that. I really, really am annoyed by that. So, please, go to iTunes, subscribe. Make sure you subscribe. Right, if I've started a written review. So, there's a guest host you want, a game you want us to play. That's where you can make a Patreon request. Yeah. I promise, whatever you put on there, we will get to that eventually. Okay, guys. I know we just talked about the iTunes review. If you want to give us an iTunes review, what I would like for you to leave in that is I want you to tell me where you would kiss Christina Aguilera. In the meantime you can always find us on tadpog.com. That's where the show notes live. She's too dirty to clean her act up, Dave. I'm okay with that. You can find us on Facebook. We're at facebook.com/ tadpog. There's a lot of cool people there doing a lot of cool shit. We have a lot of listeners who comment on our episode post, and that's fucking amazing. A lot for our first new experimental other shit Monday. I know, and I love it. And also thank you, by the way, for being cool with experimental other shit Mondays. I had a lot of fun recording the last one. We're spoilers about to record the one you already listened to on Monday, and I hope that was good too. I don't know. If it's not, we're sorry. We're sorry we said that it was a horrible thing. Yes. I feel like some legitimately good Ghostbusters conversation sprouted from that. I got to hear other people's points of view on why they think the trailer is not good. And you know, I can accept that. I can accept that, and I think they're all good viewpoints. I still hold my own opinion on that, and I think time is going to tell how bad this movie is. You can find us on Twitter. We are at tadpog_podcast. It's cumbersome. I realize thank you, everybody, who's retweeting us, because that helps spread the word of our show. And we want to evangelize. That's our goal. 2016, evangelize Twitter. #KissChristina. Right on the butt hole. Patreon, we got a thing. Yeah, we do. If you want to give us money, hey, did you enjoy all this inaccurate talk of X-Men? If you did, you can give us money for that thing at patreon.com/ tadpog. Thank you very much to everybody who already donates, because that is really awesome. It's really cool to see people actually giving us money, and that's a real thing that happens. That's cool. When we started this, I never would have fucking imagined that listeners would be supporting us like that. So if you want to be like Paul, and send us stuff that we'll talk about in our intro, whether it give me the hiccups or not, or gross us out, like other ones, or just like good shit like Tony gave us. Or a gaming one has to play. Those that we actually send us get quick priority, sometimes, unless you're Matt Barker. Yes. So anything you want to send us, please? Or Paul. That's true. Send it to tadpog studios, care of Nicole Nance, PO Box 3785, Paducah, Kentucky 42002. Yes, and please do that, because we're out of things to open, which means we have to go back to coming up with intros, which I'm terrified to do. How do you want to close this one? Or our theme song is news. I think we're trying to look at that track within the show at tadpog.com, how would you try to close this out? I would like to close this out as Magneto from this arcade game. All right. So until next time. Drop back the door on. We clipped a lot. That was cool. Look, that was like a, that was like a Dalek. Outro. Horse Dalek. Picture on Deep Cut. Greetings internet. This is Tyler. And I'm Dave. And we'd like to welcome you to our first recording of tadpog, which short for Tyler and Dave, Play old games.