Tyler and Dave are about to murderlize the Malibu Interactive SNES game — wait for it — 3 Ninjas Kick Back (you probably knew that already from the post image). We open Sandwich Pope Phil’s “it’s a good size” but fulfilling package and we foul the sanctity of Jonathan Brandis’s name.
TADPOG: Tyler and Dave Play Old Games
Ep. 292 – 3 Ninjas Kick Back
Hi there, listener. You're about to experience Tadpog, Tyler and Dave played games, and there will be plenty of game talk. But also, copious amounts of crude, off-color, offensive, and immature speech. So if you are of a rather sensitive, humor constitution, or just letting you know what you're in for with this show, it has games. It has jokes. You know, just games and jokes. Take the games, take the jokes, and have a good time. Hello internet, and welcome to another Tadpog podcast. It's a show that happens twice a week. We're two old guys play old games. One guy makes a random selection for a game and drags the other guy through the mud for said request. It's a good request. You know why I chose it? Well, I said, "Let's see three ninjas." Because it's bound to be hilarious? Because it's the top of the SNES list. It's alphabetically, it is number one. Because my next thing is going to be, "Let's do seventh saga." That's bound to be better. Yeah, maybe. It looks like one of the old ultimate games for the NES. Okay, I'm on board with that. Maybe. I'm on board with that. I mean, yeah, maybe. Maybe. I'm on board. NHL93. Say, do you want to do all the NHL games? I want to do an episode that's titled NHL93-97. We just do them all on one episode. Christmas with the NHL's. Yeah, perfect. Or it'll be a side episode where we also talk about Christmas with the cranks in between. Yeah, I haven't seen that, but I'll watch it. I haven't either. I say that I'll watch it, but I did not watch three ninjas kick back. I thought about it. I thought about it, too. I did watch it a lot when I was little. You did. I saw it. I saw the first one, but I did not. I wouldn't say I watched it a lot. I remember watching it and being like, "Yeah, that's funny." And then I think I don't think I saw the second one or the third one. Three ninjas. They're four. Are there only four? They're only four. The fourth one Hulk Hogan makes in a big place. Is Tom Tom throwing a dog in a lake in the background? That's what happened. Tom Tom is the dog, actually. Okay, I guess before we delve deep into three ninjas kick back. Too late. Before we do it, I got to know, what is three ninjas kick back? Where does it fall in the order of movies? Is it the second one? It's the second one. Okay. Because they don't make it easy and add up. Because I guess there won't be kick back back or kick back again. Cuck back? The best instance of kick is. You know, with a cuckold. All the brothers cuck each other. Three ninjas cuck back. And the old, their old master just got you. Why did you trade us, grandpa? Do you be my cuckold grandson? This is a very fucked up series of movies. Yeah. Yeah. This is my very old Asian man. It's directed by Guillermo del Toro. It's it's dark. Before we delve into all that, I'm your bearded host Tyler. We got a package. I got a package over here from Sandwich Pope Phil Hawkins. But before we opened that, Dave, I'm fulfilling a request by you, which you said, Hey man, the next time you get that loot crate, can I get that Deadpool thing? Yeah. I saw in an ad that they were going to do Deadpool stuff. So here is. Oh, that's awesome. A loot crate exclusive Deadpool figurine. That looks great. But I'm going to keep this Deadpool t-shirt. Oh, I didn't even see that you were wearing it. Yeah, that looks good. That's the that's the lap pillow that I had. Although if you want this t-shirt instead, I'm already wearing it. And I also have not shouted about three days. It's got some good, take it off take off your shirt. I'm on your bluff. He's not taking it off. Well, as you can pick, you pick. Yeah, I want the shirt. Take it off here. Yeah. Thank you very much. You're very welcome. Nick is the loot crate because it had the Deadpool figurine this. Of course, like the pin you get with it. It was kind of a I guess whenever you get a t-shirt, the rest of the crate is usually a lot less expansive. Oh, yeah. So this is a nice. This is a nice figure like this. You're gonna make as much noise as I possibly can. That way we can't truncate silence it out. No. It's just sitting in silence. It's a bit rustic. Yeah, that's nice. I like that. I'm gonna set this right right on my computer desk. Loot crate exclusive. Probably shouldn't have opened it. It's yours. I wasn't gonna say anything. You know me. I don't give a damn about that. If it were a comic book, I certainly wouldn't have opened it. But but now let's delve into this package. Address to tadpock studios care of Nicole Nance. It's like it's like he heard her protest about calling it Nicole's vagina. Yeah. So the first thing I put the first thing I pull out is a letter and then grouped inside of it. Okay, it looks like he's made us a quiz. Perfect. I was worried because Phil's package is smaller than the other packages that we've received. So I've received a lot of packages. Yeah. This package of Phil is probably the smallest of them. Yeah. Douglas's was heavy. Matt's was fat. Phil's. I mean, it's the second time we got it. It's smaller this time. I mean, I mean, I like it. It makes me happy. Yeah. I don't need a big package to be for it to be happy. Yeah, wink wink. I gotcha. It's adequate. All right. So his letter says, I guess, should I read it or what do I look into it or? I don't know. Read it. Let's read it. Unless she says stop reading this. Dear founding members of come blind fuck slave. Please accept these offerings of organic, sustainably produced snacks courtesy of life source natural foods in Salem. I've never tried any of these in my, these in my life. I merely went to the most whole grain hippie infused store in my neighborhood and started whatever organic junk food they had on the shelf. For all I know, you could be eating recycled goat shit or maybe it's legitimately delicious. I guess you'll find out. I've also included a Jonathan Brandis quiz. Does he spell it out or is it in sir? Enjoy Phil Hawkins. Sam's hopeful Hawkins. I am going to fail this quiz. Let's see. So here's the quiz. Beautifully written on index cards. Jumbo index cards. So let's see. First pull where I'll pull out. I never pull out. No, I do. It's only have one. Yeah. Gluten free. Dairy free. New bite sized protein plant based. This sounds awful. Two moms in the raw is like. I don't believe it. Yep. Two moms in the raw. Nut butter truffle. Okay. Let me open this up. It's mom made. That that that looks like a port. It looks like a portlandia sketch. If I were to make a portlandia sketch, a candy bar. That's it. All right. Open it up. What's the calories look like on this bad boy? It's gluten free and dairy free. So it's all the sugar calories. 140. Two servings per container. So these, I mean, 70 calories will split it. I'm not going to eat all that. No way. There's, let's see. One, two, three. There's four in here. So yes. Give me one as well. It's 70 per two. And my brother just took his ambience so I can feed him the rest of this in about 45 minutes. It smells like dog food. Yep. Yep. Like kibble. And it's immediately crumbly in my hands. And I don't think that was a thing in packaging. So let's try this small. It looks like a stack of quarters. What do you think it's going to sound like when we bite into it? I think it's going to sound like when you break chalk in half. I think it's just sort of just crumble like old chalk. You find it on a house. We're going to turn into mummies. That's not bad. It's not bad. It's not great. It's not good. I don't want it. But I'm not going to finish this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It gets worse. That's a bad aftertaste. I know. That's just like eating raw flour. It was good at first. Yeah. But then I got to the end of that bite and it was awful here. I need to know. It's like my high school relationships. Okay. Two moms in the raw. Yikes. Tyler, if you're going to give two moms in the raw beard. And here's something I think might be dog food. Because he just grabbed whatever so we don't know that he didn't find just accidentally straight into the dog section. There is a dog on the packaging. So this is called Epic. Oof. That two moms is gross, man. Okay. The package is it's vacuum sealed. It looks doesn't look great. So I'm just going to read the packaging. So clearly it's marked Epic and there's just a sheep on it. It looks like what might be like a dollar bill in an animal driven country. And it reads lamb used 100% grass fed lamb current mint bar 10 grams of protein gluten-free live Epic eat Epic. What is it? I don't understand what it is 100% grass fed organic lamb. So it's beef or lamb jerky, I should say. I mean, it's moist. So the lamb is beef. Lamb is beef. Yes. I think this is just like some kind of like pressed lamb bar. That might be good with current and mint. I do I do love mint used in savory in a savory Yeah, I love mint. I love that packaging too. The packaging is nice. I do like the the sheep dominated dollar bill. Man, I wish Josh and Nicole were here. Man. Why is that? Because I want to see. I want to see both of them thinking about it as lamb mint. Oh, yeah. The mint. How do they feel about lamb? Do you know? Uh, I bet Nicole likes it and Josh would just shrug and say he's not sure he's ever had it. Yeah. Open this bad boy up for the calories like on that. 5,000. One bar is 140 calories. Okay. Wouldn't be great if they just measured it in pizzas. Galleries. One pepperoni pizza. One sixteenth of a pizza. Yeah. Thank you. Is this a raisin in here? What is this? It was a current. Oh, okay. All right. So let's try this. Okay. Gross. Hate it. It's kind of a misnomer because you look at it and you think candy bar. Gross. Oh, square it. Oh, there's a gross. The current stuff like chocolate chips, like, so your brain is kind of fucking with you when you look at it. This is miserable. What do you think? The lamb isn't bad, but the currents are killing me, dude. I can't guess any mint. No. I mean, mint is kind of commonly used with lamb, but you're at the lamb, the processed lamb, and the current is way too strong completely overpowering the mint. I can't get it at all. All right. Going back to the coke zero. I don't think it's bad, but like you need to eat a blindfold or otherwise your brain is just going to keep fucking with you. I don't, I wouldn't eat that. I'll feed it to Ryan when he's ambient out. There you go. Where the box go? Right there. All right, let's see. Organic live food bar, raw revolution, all-men buttercup. All right, this is going to be good for sure. All organic, all organic gluten-free non-GMO kosher and vegan. Okay. Something that touts high protein, high fiber and vegan. Yeah, right. Is it sort of like green? What's the calories look like on this bad boy? Serving size one bar, 230 calories. Okay. But it's a meal replacement bar. Yeah, this is like a, like a breakfast bar or something. Thank you. I anticipate this would be the best thing we've had so far. Uh, it looks like it's wrapped in beef jerky. Yeah. It has texture to it. The others have it. No, this is not good. It sort of says it's okay. It sort of tastes like a protein bar, which are never like really great. Yeah. Oh, no, pass. Let's see. A lara bar. I've heard of these. I never had one. There's an oon out over the first a though. So I doubt I'm saying that right. Can I see it? I know the lara bar. Lara bar. Lara bar. Lara bar. Lara bar. Lara bar. Lara bar. Lara bar. Lara bar. Now let's see the original fruit and nut food bar. Lemon, gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free, vegan and kosher. What the fuck is in this? Let's see. What's left? Oh, serving size, one bar, 220 calories. Okay. Has a small bar that condense 220 calories. So it's probably going to be tasty. Okay, ingredients, dates, and then in bold, I guess, because you could be allergic, cashews, almonds, lemon juice concentrate, dried lemon juice concentrate, natural lemon flavor. I'm allergic to natural lemon flavor. Sorry, I can't eat this. For something that touts how good and pure it is, then to throw the bullshit food terminology, natural lemon flavor in there, because I know that's a bullshit food term. What does that mean exactly? Anything? Yeah, okay. All right, thank you. This looks like the raw revolution that we just ate. What is that? Can you tell me what this meat texture is? What is this? Because this looks like meat, and it feels kind of sticky. You know what I mean? A lot of stuff comes like, is it like a paste or something? It doesn't say that it's on, I assume that that is from the dates. Okay. Normally in a candy bar, that'll be palm oil. Okay. Because at room temperature, it keeps that kind of chewy consistency, so it's used in everything. Okay. It's just disconcerting, because like looking at it, it looks like it looks like spoiled meat. Looks like spam with bits in it. Yeah. All right, here we go. Oh, this is the best thing I've had out of this box. It's real fucking limiting. Yeah, I love that. It tastes like pledge smells. Yeah, I'm into it. Well, get me fucked up. Oh, man. Once this is over, you want to do a couple lines of pledge? Eat a little out of the bar and choose a pledge. And toss the mustard. The pledge whippets. Yeah. I mean, they're not lying. It's a lemon bar. It doesn't tout anything else. I like this. I like that lemon. It masks the. So this was me. Yeah, what I assume is a horrible flavor. Yeah, because I'm not a big fan of dates. I think I tried to fucking. Yeah. My, my, my, my. All right. I thought it was good. And then I had a couple more bites. All right. This looks promising. This does not end. There's fruit snacks. It's the same kind of wrapper as like a goo goo bar. Non GMO gluten free apple cinnamon fruit bar. Naturally flavored tastes like a piece of pie. What's the brand on that? Just fruit bar. Betty Luz. Just great stuff and plenty of it at Betty Luz. So I don't know. The naturally flavored tastes like a piece of pie. We're not going to tell you what pie naturally flavored. I mean, natural. It could be like bugs ground up that happen to taste like apple pie. Now I can't eat that at all. Thank you. You're welcome. Fruity filling inside a tasty flaky crust wholesome goodness that makes takes you back home with every bite. Betty Lou. Where the fuck do you think we were raised Betty Lu? Who do you think our parents were calorie content? Oh, looks like serving size. This whole thing is 190 calories. So this is going to be awful. All right. Here we go. Let me read you this shit. Okay. All right. Ingredients apple fruit filling. Okay. That sounds like justified. But then in brackets right beside it bugs bugs. Then fruit juice concentrate pair pineapple apple peach. Okay. So that's that's the fruit filling is those mashed together. Then apples peach and then okay. Okay. It's been called Inulin. I thought it said insulin. Yeah. So I was about to get freaked out. Yeah. Tapioca starch apple powder apple powder. Zante currents. You love currents. Natural flavor. That's by itself just common natural flavor. Come again. Water. Citric acid pectin, which is just like what makes a jelly gel. Okay. Cinnamon. Locust bean gum. Uh, I'm going to look at this thing to determine whether or not actually see if that's locust. You know, I know locust testicles. We call that locust bean. We jerk off the locust. Gently. So not to break the tiny penis off. What is it locust? Oh, you covered me with your locust bean gum. Bean gum. Locust bean gum. There is a, would you like a little early day of read some Wikipedia? Yes. Oh, no, it's not nearly as I don't think it's, no, it's not interesting. Damn it. Damn it. Why can't it be locust ejaculate? Whoa, whoa, whoa. There is, there is an interesting line. I do want to read. Okay. It starts with the words shoe polish. Yes. Shoe polish and insecticides also have locust bean gum powder as an additive. Uh, it is soluble in hot water, soluble. Um, I say exactly what it is. Until I'm, I'm looking. I like frantically looking. Okay. Here it is. Okay. Locust bean gum is a, I cannot read this. Glactomanin. Oh, yeah. Anything to you? Yeah. Glactomanin. Yeah, if he's a DC character. Vegetable gum extracted from the seeds of the carob tree. Okay. Mostly found in the Mediterranean region. The long pods, Tyler, that grow on the tree are used to make this gum. Tyler, the pods are kibbled to separate the seed from the pulp. The seeds have their skins removed by an acid treatment. The D skinned seeds are then split and gently milled. Gently. We don't want to agitate them. This causes the brittle germ to break up while not affecting the more robust endosperm. So there's sperm in there. So yeah. Anato extract, turmeric, uh, trademark fruit trim. Yeah. Get that trim girl. Look at that fruit trim. Do you like that fruit trim? Uh, oats, gluten free flour, which is potato starch, brown rice flour, stone ground, sorghum flour, tapioca flour, safflower oil, hmm. Inulin. Again, apple powder, guar gum, xanthan gum, xanthan gum, is that all? I mean, I know that's a chemical thickener. I don't know if it's a, it's a qualify as natural. So this is naturally flavored, not naturally thickened, I guess. Define natural. It's a super vague term. Yeah. I mean, it doesn't really have any strict regulation for because it couldn't be simply like, well, it's from earth. Yeah. Natural. It's one of those weird shitty terms. Humans, humans are natural and we made it. All right. Let's try it now that we've scared ourselves about it. Now, now that I know that there's not locust gum is not actually the semen of a, of a viral filter. That's the safflower oil, keeping it all moist. This looks like the shittiest pop tart. Yeah. I've ever seen. Yep. I'm smelling it. It smells good. It does, it smells like a pie. Most of it tastes like apple pie. And it does. I'm in a very fake kind of way. It tastes like an apple air freshener. But it does kind of like, after I chewed a couple times, it did feel like it disintegrated in my, on my tongue. I mean, I like it. I just have half piece of pie called a day. You know, it'd be really good on this. Ashcream pie. Yeah. And this last one called Evo hemp. Boost body and mind. Mango macadamia, raw, cold pressed, cold pressed energy bar. I said cold like my mom says it. Code code. Non GMO vegan paleo gluten free. Let's see. Ancient super foods for a modern world. Read me, read me the, read me those hemp ingredients dog. Is this a medical energy bar? Yerba mate. Evo hemp energy bars tap into natural powers of yerba mate. I'm not mate. You got my yerba mate. A plant primarily found in South America that is said to simulate focus clarity and physical energy said to. We don't know. We asked some guy we met in South America. He's like, Oh, yes. Yes. Let's see. May contain tree nuts. Oh, I'm out contains pit and pieces of nut shells. May contain pit and pieces of nut shells. calories, one bar, 200 calories ingredients, dates, almonds, mango, hemp protein powder, hemp seeds, macadamia nut, coconut nectar, coconut, yerba mate. Okay. I wonder because it all has asterisk next to all of this. Okay. But the key of the bottom says asterisk means organic. Oh, okay. So everything in it appears to be organic. Okay. All right. Let's eat pot. I would love to eat that, but I'm not gonna. Frazier fella drug test. No, no, I'm afraid of those. I'm afraid of those tree nuts. Oh, yeah. If you're looking to pine nuts, but I do really want to try it because I love this. I'd love to do this edible with you right now. No, we'll see if you like shit on Ryan ceiling again. No, I would just vomit on his ceiling. Am I missing out majorly? No, in a major way? No. Are you feeling it yet, man? I'm talking about Josh's bachelor party all over again. Yeah, that's. It's not bad at first. Yeah, it looks like fudge because you get kind of it's sweet and then it just kind of bitter at the end. Yeah, not very great. If it was the reverse, that'd be better. Yeah, but yeah, well, I don't feel so bad because Phil didn't like any of it. He said he didn't hadn't tried any of it, right? Yeah, he's got random shit. Yeah. You know what is sad? I feel bad because like he took the time to pick all this out and mail it to us. And I'm sure this bag of just the worst food I've ever had in my life that's sitting on your table right now. Probably this is probably $30. This is probably $30 on the fair. I was okay with the lamb stuff and okay with the lara bar. I like the lara bar. The fruit, the apple pie knockoff was okay, I thought. Raw revolution thumbs down. The lamb, not for me. That first cookie puck thing. The raw moms. Yeah, two moms in the raw. Two raw moms, two raw dog moms. Two moms raw dog. Yeah, I wasn't, I wasn't all about that. You want to take this Brandon's quiz? Yeah, let's. I guess we can both take it. The answer is the, there must be on the back. Like highlight style. Who will both take them? Yeah. Okay. Are you ready to fail another Phil Hawkins quiz and hear him say, I thought these guys knew everything about guns and lara. Brandon stated this fresh Prince of Bell Air Star for three years in the mid-90s. Will Smith. Next. Uncle Phil, I'm going to assume, how old were your other brands in the 90s? That's a wide range. I'm going to assume, I'm going to assume the littlest one. What, Ashley? Ashley. I don't know. Hillary was the oldest one. Right. I assume it's not Carlton. I'll go to the Ashley as well. I don't know the actress's name. Tatiana Ali, who I think was the oldest one. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm going to count that for both of us. Yeah, we got it. Question two. Brandis got his first big, big screen break in 1990, playing the main character in this sequel to a beloved children's fantasy movie. It's the never-ending story. But his big screen break in the sequel? Was he not in the first one? No, because I think, no, he wasn't in the first one. He's, I think he's in the second one though, right? So I thought he was in both of them. Oh, no, I don't think he's in the first one. Okay. All right. Yeah, that's got to be never-ending story, part two. I'm sorry if we fail it, but yeah, I think it's never-ending story, part two. Never-ending story, too. Good. Good, good, good, good, good. Yikes. I knew he was in. Hmm. I now wonder who that kid was? Who am I thinking of? Brandis guest starred for eight episodes is the voice-reoccurring villain in this Disney after-school cartoon. He was the villain, is that what it said? Well, you know it's Darkwing Duck. You know, he's, you don't feel slid at a Darkwing Duck question. 'Cause I was thinking Aladdin, but I don't even say Darkwing Duck. I was thinking Aladdin, too. That's bizarre. Maybe we should go with Aladdin. Man. I didn't watch Aladdin, though, so this is on you. I did, so I'm not completely sure. I'm trying to think who he would have been. That would be so fill for it to be Darkwing Duck. Because if he was like the, the Naga Aladdin. What are you going with? Aladdin? I was kind of thinking Aladdin, too, man. Let's say Aladdin. That was our good reaction. Aladdin. Yeah. As Mose and Wrath, the Naga Aladdin dude with the flying heel. Yeah. Question four. Okay. Brandis's first acting gig came after the age of six in this long-running daytime soap opera. Ah, I don't know. Days? I had to watch a lot of days when I was younger. Okay, you don't. I don't remember. You would have remembered him, I think. Maybe. Maybe. I mean, I was like, intentionally watching the show, which is on the background while I complained about wanting to watch something else. General hospital? General hospital is what I was thinking. Okay. General hospital is my, that was my second. It was a general hospital. Okay. General hospital. One life to life. Oh, that one doesn't even count. Totally wrong. Brandis auditioned for, but was ultimately passed over for what I can't, iconic fantasy anti-hero. A classic fantasy anti-hero. He's passed over? Does it say the year or anything like that? Nope. I'm going to assume Deadpool and it's going to be dead. Right. That was the choice. They were like, give another Brandis. He's dead. Well, fine pass. Ryan Reynolds, I guess. The casting degree acting was very distraught. What's Brandis up to? Oh, oh. Oh, he did. He really, huh? Really locked him in sidekicks. Okay. All right. Let's get to be Gareth, the goblin king. Love that road in Dangerfield. Him too. Still did a whole cast of ladybugs. He's just gone. Mysteriously died on a ghost ship. Ah, iconic fantasy anti-hero. Okay. So this is a movie that came out. So what fantasy movies came out when he was alive? He, I mean, he, I mean, he killed himself pretty young. Yeah. So like it wasn't like Lord of the Rings or anything like that. Like, what's some iconic fantasy? It had to be a movie. Yeah, it was a movie that came out in the '90s, iconic fantasy. I wonder if it's like science fantasy, even. You know how like some sci-fi movies are like, oh, well, it's not really science fiction. It's fantasy. Yeah. Like Flight of the Navigator kind of deal. Like I, because that's not really, I mean, that's not really a science fiction. He was in that, was he not Sargade Atlantis? He was at sea? Sequest? Sequest. He, not sequest. It was something like that. Right. Yeah. He was in some kind of sea theme movie. That was by the way, I think the best show ever. I love that too. Mmm. Ah, fuck. I don't know. Can we work the, the anti-hero angle at all? Anti-hero, because that, I mean, I feel like that wasn't a big time for anti-hero. And he was passed over for this. That's tough. This is a really hard question. Yeah. Because I haven't read Bredness's IMDB in quite some time. Do you think he was originally cast to play the aunt and honey I shrunk the kids? Yes. Or, or slimer and ghosts. Yes. Well, Jon Belushi's dad. Give me. Oh, are you kidding me? Well, make him a fucking puppet, I guess. I don't know. I don't know. Um, Elric of Montebond or whatever. I don't fucking know. I really, I don't even know what to guess. I don't either. A Punisher? I don't know. I don't know either. Anakin Skywalker, an attack of the clones. What? Was he alive, Bred? I didn't think so. This must have been why he killed himself. He was like, Hayden Christensen got that. Can't keep the gun in my mouth. I think the- Oh, this is getting dark. Yeah, that's rough. I didn't know. I thought he was dead before it. Yeah. I thought he was dead. Could that be our next quiz? I thought he was dead. Tell us whether or not this person is actually alive or dead. Brandis was propelled to status of teen heartthrob in this mid 90s in the mid 90s after the success of what TV series? Okay, read that again. Brandis was propelled to the status of teen heartthrob in the mid 90s after the success of what TV series. What TV series was he on? One life to live. Okay, so- There's a C-Quest. I mean, I know who's in that. It has to be yet, right? Or Ladybug's the show. Ladybug's the after-school special. I've got to say it's got to be that C- It's got to be that C- C-Quest, Questlove. I'm sure I've seen Brandis in Questlove. It has to be a C-show. But C-gate? That's a hardware company. Wasn't Jonathan Brandis inside a hard drive? That's where he is now. He uploaded his consciousness like that, like the villain in Winter Soldier. He's an 800 reels of date. He's like, "One day, Emperor Palatine will download me and I'll be the apprentice." That's the C-thing. C-Quest, D-S-V. C-Quest. We said C-Quest. We said C-Quest. What is D-S-V? Deep Space Vacuum? Deep Sea Value. Didn't survive. That well is going to go dry. How many cards you got left? We got it. We're on bonus questions. We got it. What, now they're out of order. We got enough suicide goops to last his four cards. All right. So two more questions and then two bonus questions. Okay. Because that's something like, I've never said anything to offend Cockmaster Ashley Shake, except when I made a Heath Ledger joke, he was sincerely pissed at me about that. What was the joke? I had something about him being dead. Was he offended because you were making fun of a dead person or it just wasn't funny? Because he loves Heath Ledger so much. Brandis famously committed suicide in 2003 using what method? I do not know. Drug overdose, autorotic exphyxiation, regular exphyxiation, comma, without the jerking out. I assume what you mean by regular exphyxiation. Gunshot to the head. I think it's gunshot to the head. Do you? I think it's regular asphyxiation. I feel like I've heard that he shot himself. Okay. So I'm going to say D and you say C? Yeah, I guess. Regular exphyxiation, he hung himself. But his wiener wasn't out. Legally. Legally. Legally. His last action was to tug it back in. According to IMDB, what is Brandis's most successful movie he had a lead role in by weight of box office take home? Ladybugs. Hearts war, never ending story to sidekicks or ladybugs. Man, I am going ladybugs. It's got Rodney Degefield in it. And I believe it had a sequel. I think you're right. Ladybugs too, electric bugaloo. And I think everybody's story had a part three, but it was with different, completely different actors. I'm sorry, it was electric bugaloo, but because they're bugs lady, ladybugs. It could be hearts war. I've never heard of that. You say ladybugs? I'm going to say sidekicks. Man, okay, yeah, I'm going ladybugs. Hearts war. Motherfucker. Hearts war. What is that movie? 19.1 million. Never ending story two, raped in 17.4, sidekicks in a mean point two, ladybugs 14.8. Ladybugs got a few buttons and belly button lip. Brandis is credited as party guest in fatal attraction, which grows 156 million. But he said lead role. Unless it was party, party goer. Bonus question one. How much fan mail did Brandis receive at the height of his popularity during Sequest? 500 letters a week? D.S.V. 4,000 letters a week, or 10,000 letters a week? 4,000? What was the first one? Four? 500. Oh, 500. 500, 4000, or 10,000? Okay. You know it had to have been substantial because in the previous question, let's logic this out. He became teen heartthrob. Right. He was a teen heartthrob, so you know he got a lot. So for me, it's a matter of is it the highest or is it the mid-range? I'm going to go mid-range. I want to go mid-range. I want to go 4,000 too. 4,000 letters a week. Yeah. Bonus question two. What do you think is on the back of this card? Dicks. I think that's probably a safe bet. Or do you think it is a very like a photorealistic illustration of Jonathan Brandis dead? Or it's actual like he pasted on the back a cup printed cover cutout. And then there's a drawing of you and me just jerking off on his corpse. And Phil was always in this what he did. That's my guess. I'm going to go to step farther. I'm going to assume it's like a step farther. Yeah. I'm going to say it was a dick in a sandwich. A dick in a sandwich? In a sandwich like head poking out of one like he's fucking a sandwich. Did you see this already or something that's very specific? No, that's just. Well, I figured he would draw a dick and he's a sandwich pope, so there's going to be a sandwich. Okay, I'm with you now. That's a good guess. All right. So I'm going to raise the back of this card and you tell me. Yeah. Dicks. Yeah. It even says one curved up one super straight one looking right at us and one looking at us like a periscope. Pretty good. Pretty good. Thank you, sandwich pope, Phil. I want to point out. I won that you did win by one point and I can't even say his name right most of the time. Most of that are like, is it Brandis or Landis Jonathan Brandeis. I really sometimes do not know that. Jonathan. I don't know. Well, we're about 40 minutes in. You want to talk about three ninjas? We really 40 minutes in. Good God almighty. We tasted a lot of snacks and took a quiz. What the fuck happened? Yeah. Or well, I know I'm high for you. Yeah. That's what happened to me. I don't know. My excuse is must have been that monster energy energy drink. I slammed before going over here. Yeah. I guess let's talk about three ninjas get back. Yeah. Was it do you think did he send that because I mean, he didn't know we were going to be talking about three ninjas kick back. So he was like, let's send a martial artist quiz. Yeah. I mean, yeah, because I mean, if we talked about doing like sidekicks or yeah, I don't know. Is there a sidekicks SNES game? I wish. I don't think so, but I wish. Yeah. It's Sega CD exclusive. Got to have that full motion video. Do you think it'd be in bad taste if Jonathan Brandeis was in the next Mortal Kombat game? No. I don't think he'd be in bad taste if Jonathan Brandeis and Rodney Dangerfield were both in their leddy bugs costume on stage with like Carly Rae Jepson. Do you think it'd be a bad taste if you and I made a lady bugs slash weekend at Bernie's movie? Or next April Fools will do an episode entirely where you're Jonathan Brandeis and I'm Rodney Dangerfield. I love it. I love it because I here's the best part about that. I don't know. I'm not even. I'm not even dead. Can't get no respect when you're dead. That's so dumb. I should be I said, I love it by impression quality. Come on, man. Give yourself some credit. That's mad TV quality right there. What's the Madden guys name? John. John Calliento. Calliento. Calliento? Calliento? Almost said Calipari is like, Nope. That's the coach of UK. He's also really good at a rush. If you see him, he's constantly young at the players of different characters. Wow. You missed the basket. Tala, you listen. Yes, that was me doing John Calliento. Calliento. I'm not even sure if it was Al Pacino. Yeah, I'm not either. To be honest with you, me neither. The cameras send you out to the game and then I'll pull you back to the bench. Yeah. Well, that's never going to get old. Can you do? Are you taking requests? Yeah. Can you do Papa John doing an impression of Gumby? It's just him. No, no, no, no, no, no. There's no voice acting. It's just him skating into people's portraits and stealing all their money and then skating back out again. Do you need to just kick back? Yep. You hear that, Dave? I do hear that. I do hear that. It's the sound of college basketball coaches everywhere doing their best Al Pacino's, Robert De Niro's. They're doing Robin Williams. Way too early. Way too early. They know better than that. It's probably Brigham Young, probably one's doing that. Duke's doing cavemani impressions. The fuck's going on? Of course, I hear all those impressions, which, of course, ushers in a segment that we like to call Dave Reed from Wikipedia. Are you ready for this? Are you ready for this entry? I've got to be episodes almost over. Okay, guys, three ninjas kick back is a beat 'em up video game for the Super NES, Sega Genesis, Mega Drive, and Sega CD platforms. It was developed by Malibu Interactive, RedLink, which means there's nothing there. Published by Sony Image Soft and was released in 1994, the game is based on the motion picture of the same name, the end. They go into story a little bit and gameplay a little bit, but usually that little intro is a lot longer than that. I want to go ahead and point out, I do not think this game is categorized correctly on Wikipedia. This is not a beat 'em up video game. This is a platformer, squarely in the platformer category, I think. I'm going to write Mr. Wikipedia about that. Yeah, it's an action platformer. 100%. Because I got excited, when you mentioned this game, I got excited for two reasons. I knew it was going to be bad. That's not one of the reasons, but I thought it would be funny to talk about because it's three ninjas, and three ninjas is hilarious, Tyler. Yeah, I mean, it totally 100% holds up. I mean, there are two movies from the nineties that are hilarious. Well, all of three ninjas, I counted as one movie. I've only seen one of them, but I'm sure they're all funny. Criterion collection is fun. Yes, an airbud. So those two, I'm assuming airbud, it wasn't nineties. Ladybugs and sidekicks ride out though, not funny, don't hold up. Yeah, never any story to, however, also hilarious, but it's a distant fifth. Not a beat 'em up, but I was excited because I was like, okay, this game is going to be horrible, but at least it's a genre that I enjoy. And it's like even baby's kids, which is awful, baby's kids is a beat 'em up for the most part, unless you're in the shop with a baby. But there's a lot of beat 'em up segments. This game doesn't have any beat 'em up segments. It's true. No, it is like a shittier legend of the Mystical Ninja. Yeah, a much shittier. Yeah, 'cause I played and beat Legend of the Mystical Ninja way back in the day. I mean, I just picked it out and knew it'd be bad too. It doesn't look terrible, like the graphics aren't bad. No. It looks like a different game that they just like, make a license, movie license game. All right, take this Ninja and just copy and paste, like make it just different colors. They'll be the three kids. It's fine. It doesn't look like a Super Nintendo game, which I think is really interesting about this game. And I thought I would like when I first started playing it, is it looks like it looks like an NES game. And I don't mean like graphically. Graphically, it looks like an SNES game, but the sprites are small, which is like totally not SNES. It plays like an NES game. And it plays, yes, exactly. It's fast like that, and the controls are very much like an NES game. And I thought I would like that, but within the first stage, I was like, no, this is going to be miserable. This is going to be a miserable experience. Graphics-wise, all right, I like the graphics, okay. Music is awful. The music is horrible. Fuck, the music is awful. It is a tinny, awful mess. And like the segments between the levels where it has like the Japanese Sun, and it's like this weird guitar riff that makes no sense. But yeah, you get to pick Rocky, Colt, and Tum Tum. Who's your favorite, Tyler? Oh, Tum Tum. It's Tum Tum. I mean, it's Tum Tum. He's the only one of those three kids that like, put like, if acting is a D&D skill, he put like one or two points into it. Yeah. For the other kids, like, no, Christmas scores are high enough. No, it's fine. I don't remember the other two kids just being like, "We're going to brand assist, bitch." Even when I was little, I just thought they were super stiff, horrible actors. Yeah, that's always a good sign. I mean, Tum Tum had, he was supposed to be a fat kid, but he was not a fat kid at all. It's like he just liked to eat candy, and that was just it. At least like, what's that movie about all the kids at Fat Camp? Fat Camp. Fat Camp. Feel heavyweights, heavyweights. At least get one of those kids to play Tum Tum. Didn't heavyweights have like one of the lost boys from Hook in it or something like that? I remember there being like some kind of connection where I was like, "Yeah, I want to watch heavyweights because it's got that kid in it." Oh, maybe. Maybe you had the, what's his name? Think you were the sailor suit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I just rolled it the ball. Yeah, the rolly thunder butt, I think. Thunder butt. Yeah, that's good. I only know that from playing the game recently. Yeah, I forgot completely. I have a theory about the three ninjas. I have some head fiction that I've created. Please tell me. Are you familiar with the show Workaholics? Yes. In my mind, that's what happened. That's the three ninjas grown up is the cast of Workaholics. Tum Tum is Adam. I guess Colt is Durs and you can figure out the rest because I cannot remember the other's names. Okay, I don't thought it was funny. I like Workaholics a lot. Yeah. But I know like two of the three actors, two of their careers are blowing up outside of the show. But the other one is like, "I have not seen him in anything." And I guess it's because he looks weird because he has the long, the firm. The one I can't remember the characters. Because I mean, because I've seen Adam Devine, because he's been in several other movies. He has no show and shit like that. And the other guy I've seen in, he had a big part in season two of the mini project. And I've seen him in a lot of other things. Other guy, I guess he can't change his look because that's his character. It's also just how he looks probably. That looks fun. What are you talking about? I've seen him in other things, but yeah, not like the other two. Yeah. So I wonder if Workaholics is still going because like, you don't have any, you don't have any other projects going? No wonder unless he is in the show. I guess we get to, I mean, gotta keep his lines on, I guess. Okay. We'll do it for Rocky. We'll do it for Rocky. Time to do it for Rocky. Come on, Rocky. And then Ryan Walters, I don't know if you saw on Facebook, he posted an image of the werewolf. No, he did post the werewolf, but he also posted an image of the three ninjas. And then right above the photograph of the three ninjas is Sub-Zero, Scorpion and Reptile. And the three ninjas are wearing. Oh, the corresponding colors. The corresponding colors. So yeah, it's, I mean, that is probably a better head fiction than what I've got going. But I just like to, but now I've got a new dimension when I watch Workaholics. So Tom Tom dies and goes to hell. Yes. Okay. Yes. Look at how fat and disgusting that kid is. He's gorgeous. He's fucking go to hell. That's center. Oh man. Oh, but the game, the game again, it feels like they take a lot of the same elements and just overuse them. And then the difficulty comes from just packing them very closely together. Because you've got like enemies that aren't worth your time fighting. Oh no. Just avoid the enemy. And then like pit traps and spikes and shit like that of vines that you have to swing from. Vines that are awful. You may as well just jump and take one hit and keep running from the spikes. The controls aren't consistent. And the talking about the vines reminds me of that because it's like in order to grab onto a vine, you have to jump on the vine as it's swinging and hold the up button. But meanwhile, that's the only thing you have to hit up to grab onto because like you'll automatically grab ledges and stuff like that and swing. So it's really, it's really inconsistent. So I was hoping that mechanic would work sort of like Skyblazer because the same publisher, but it doesn't though the swinging up. So because you looked it up that because Sony image saw if they did hook, they did Mickey Mania and Skyblazer, which are all solid games. We have been played Mickey Mania, but they published them. They've developed two games and I've played both of these games. Jeopardy classic and wheel of fortune. Oh man. Okay. I hope that each of those, I mean, those games are interrupted by like bear ads and life alert the whole way through. They're very authentic. They did. They published some real stinkers. They also published some pretty okay games like Skyblazer. I thought was great. Yeah. They published, we mentioned this off the mics. Tyler, you own this. I've watched you play it. Bram Stoker's Dracula. Oh man. That is a nightmare of a game. Not in a good way. We need to do it eventually. It's fucking broken. That game looks awful. Broken. It is like I compare it to playing Jekyll and Hyde. If anybody has played Jekyll and Hyde for the NES, they're both just like just broken shitty, shitty games. They publish cliffhanger. Have you ever played cliffhanger? From the movie? Yes. The video game adaptation of cliffhanger, the movie. Okay. The Sylvester Stallone and that Stallone was in that. I remember seeing the ad for this video game. And as a kid, meaning like, oh, that's a that's a shitty game. Like, I just know from the advertisement. A game about not being able to climb a mountain. That sounds horrible. A game called Chuck Rock. I don't know. I don't know. Have you heard of Chuck Rock? Maybe? Maybe I have. Is it about a caveman? Maybe? I don't know. There are caveman-y. Dragon's Lair for the NES. Oh, that's like one of the worst games of all time. So that's them. They're responsible for that. Equinox. ESPN Baseball Tonight. ESPN National Hockey Night. ESPN NBA Hangtime 95. ESPN Speed World. ESPN Sunday Night NFL. For the Sega CD, Genesis, and SNES. Extra innings. These are all games that we're going to get right on, I'm sure. They did hook, of course. They did a game that has been recommended that we play, I believe, correct me if I'm wrong, by Sandwich Pope Phil Hawkins, that is Hudson Hawk for the NES. Yeah, I think so. I think that was him. They did Johnny Mnemonic for the Sega CD. One of your favorites. Oh, yeah. Last action hero. Oh, boy. I do. I really want to do that. I really want to do that. Something is wrong with you. Yeah. Something's broken inside. Yeah. Yeah. There's there's blackness inside of me. Just fill it up with shitty video games. Yeah. Well, no, I'd have to share it with you. To continue on their hit game, Bram Stoker's Dracula. They did. They published Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. That's probably good, right? What? Would you have any ideas for games? I got my kids eighth grade reading list. Do you want? Oh, not ninth grade. We can't do Lord of the Flies in 1984. We can't. We can't do weather weathering heights and make a great super thin dough game. Man, that book, dude. I read that as a sophomore. I fucking hated that book. It is the worst. They did Mickey Mania, like we mentioned earlier. This blew my mind. They published the European version of Super Bomber Man for the SNES. Okay. Skyblazer, which we mentioned. Sewer Shark, which I've heard of, but it never played. Smart Ball, which is a game that you've been talking about a little while. I need to know if it holds up because I enjoyed it so much. Watching a playthrough video, it did not look like it would hold up, but I have to actually play it. I know, because when you mentioned it, you're like, yeah, I used to, I don't have fond memories of this game. I went home and I was like, I'm going to look this game up and I watched a gameplay video. It looks like an NES game. Wow. Yeah. It had to have been early. It had to be a 91 release. It had to have been maybe. We'll find out. I remember playing it because it was one of the only things for rent. So I got my Super Nintendo on release day. So it was one of the few things that I could rent. So I remember, like, Joe and Max, Smart Ball, and then three copies of Super Mario World. It definitely was early then. They did a game called Solstice for the NES, which I haven't heard of, and then Super Dodge Ball for the NES, which is a game that I fucking love. Okay. That's a Koonio Koonio Koonio Koonio Koonio Koonio game. So that's it. That ate up about 15 minutes, I think. We're almost at an hour now. But this game, yeah, you just, what are the different? All the characters, they just have different, like, specials, or they're wielding different weapons that all act the same. Like, Rocky has a quarterstaff, Colt has a katana, and Tum Tum, I don't even know. Yes, size. Okay. So I used, I used Colt because I thought the katana was the best weapon. The specials in the game, like, are weird because they're all power-up based. Like, you pick up a red orb, and the screen explodes. It's your standard, everything dies on the screen thing. And then there's another power-up, which is like a blue orb, and you pick it up, and every time you swing your weapon, you throw Koonai, which is awful because it means you can't save them, and you can't use them when you want to use them. They just happen. Like, as soon as you pick them up, every time you swing a star gate kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And then you can pick up bombs, which you might as well not use, because it's impossible to aim them. Yeah. And also the enemies move, they all move so fast that it's impossible to hit any of them with it, unless it's like, they're these stationary, like totem poles almost that, yeah, shoot knives, that's you. So I guess you could use them on those. They're standard one-ups. You'd think their projectiles would be like extremely accurate and powerful because that's how they beat the boss in the first one, because remember, like, them having to throw like a piece of candy, like, and do a gun hole. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember that now. Because they do the whole, and like, their training levels were the objects to destroy dummies, because their whole thing was, you know, like, this sucker up, and they would kick them to pressure points in the dummy and stuff like that. Speaking of light, this sucker up, I know what happened with the sound design. They spent all of their budget on sound, and let's murder lies them, which is what is spoken when you select a character, a character select. Which thing is, Tom, Tom, no matter what? Yeah, it's no matter who you choose, it's Tom Tom's voice, who's clearly the star of this game. Why do the audio? Oh, shit. I didn't check USB. So we got the internal microphone. Fuck it, publish it. Fuck it, do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. It's fine. You think our patreon donors are mine? No, no, no. There are a few bosses in this level. They're just gigantic people. There's like three of them. Like a large-breasted nurse, and Ihonda. Yes, and Ihonda knock off. Yes, and then the final boss. The final boss is an adult compared to the kids. Like, he's just, he's not jumbo, but he's like, just an almost-sized person. Yeah. Kogi, I believe his name is Kogi. I assume is the villain in the movie. And the grandpa, though, he looks like Holy Carlo from Super Punch Out. Anytime I see him, so really, once you beat the game, it's just grandpa, like, congratulations, you have beaten the game. What an achievement, period. Yeah. That's it. Game over. Yeah. So, yeah, don't, I don't play it. I'd compare it to home improvement, power tool pursuit. Yeah. Because there are parts where it plays like it. Every level is broken into different stages, and in each level, there is a stage where you have to find the things and hit them with your weapon. Like, in the first level, you have to find six target dummies that are sprinkled throughout a stage, and you have to hit them. They never make sense. Like, the hospital level, you have to find, you have to find all the tied up patients. They're tied up. And then on one level, like- Yeah, they went to the hospital from one floor of the cuckoo's nest, so they're all in. There's a level which takes place in a Japan, and before the level begins, sometimes there are cutscenes where your mentor will tell you something that you need to do. And in the beginning of this, he says, "Oh, it's very important that you bring the dagger to wherever, to my master." "Oh, by the way, if you're on your journeys, you find six bird cages, hit them." Great, cool. Sweet. Did not make it that fast. Sweet. I very much hate birds. Second level. "Oh, it's very important you travel to me. I'm in the hospital. I've been injured gravely. I need you to collect six backpacks before you make the journey, however." It doesn't make fucking sense at all. What's ridiculous about it is they give the pretense that there's a story here. They're like, "We're going to stick with the story about the movie," which I'm sure was excellent. We're all going to assume that movie was excellent. But on top of that, we're going to add these crazy-ass power tool pursuit fetch quests. It's really cool. It's really, really cool. I have a very important question. Where, Tyler, would we be today, 2016, where would we be today, without the boulders seen from Raiders of the Lost Ark? But incredibly slow. Incredibly slow. Our child, we would be different people right now if that scene did not exist in Raiders of the Lost Ark because 50% of the video games we played as children involved running from a large rolling boulder. That's true. This one guy, because it's not even like, it's just so incredibly boring, because this boulder, I don't know how it's moving, because it's just a man inside of it slowly walking for the pace that it's going. There's a whole stage in the first level where you're being chased by a boulder. It's the entire stage. I hated it. I hated it. Guess what? Boulder comes back, dog. I bet you didn't see that coming. Oh, man. You beat the final boss. There's another stage where you run from a boulder. The boulder finally caught up to you. No, you don't get away from me that easily. The true boss. I'm just Nance the boulder. True boss. This boulder keeps that a six coming to get you. The bats trip like birds don't like that. You pick up diamonds for money. They make a glass breaking sound when you pick them up. That makes a lot of sense. Big fan. Sports terrorism. Whatever. There's a little bit of weird blackthorn action. There are some stages where you can duck into caves for no reason, for no reason. It's like the developer played blackthorn and they were like, "Oh, yeah. This is cool. Let's put this in our game." Shrug. It serves no fucking purpose. There are instances where you can duck into a cave and there are no enemies around. It's just a thing that you can do for funsies. For the boys, I mean, it's a long journey. They have to jerk it somewhere. They're in the height of puberty, so they have to duck in there and... Yeah. Tumb Tumb's real confused. First one off, eat candy. Tumb Tumb is really confused with his brother. What am I supposed to do? What are you doing? That's not how you pee pee. I've got another important question. Does the film genre of children beating up adults? Does that exist still? Or is that specifically? It's called the Disney Channel. Oh, is that where it's migrated to? Yeah, it's where it's basically, because that's the thing I noticed with the Disney Channel, that all the shows are basically brilliant kids outsmarting dumb adults. Okay. That's essentially what Nickelodeon was. I remember as a kid, because I even remember watching Clarissa explains it all and being like, "Oh man, her parents are like super dumb." They are like too bad. Sam can just crawl into a window in the middle of the night and it's totally fine. Okay. All right. I just feel like that movie genre doesn't exist. They let her keep an alligator in her room. Okay. All right. Like, that's so raven and Hannah Montana and all that kind of shit was just the same. Same kind of premise. I guess that appeals to kids. Yeah. Yeah. Well, stupid adults. Yeah. Dumb dads. Kids love stupid adults. Dumb dads and raw dog moms. For that Disney Channel, my two raw moms. The pacing is really bad. Yeah. In this game, it's horrible. Some of the stages are really long, like that boulder level, and it's followed by a five second level where you just slide down a ramp and it's over. Yeah. That's all you do. It is really just so short. And then some of the levels themselves have fought, like the first level has like five stages. And then the second level has like three stages. And then the third level has two stages. It's like, okay, these are getting smaller. And then the fourth level has four stages, like it's all over the fucking place. There are bonus levels that happen between each level where shit falls from the sky like donuts and hamburgers and coins fall from the sky and glass diamonds. But watch out for my favorite power up in the entire game, which is creatively named flashing anti bonus item. That's what they don't even try. It ends the stage. It ends the stage. The anti the flashing anti bonus item. They didn't even bother to call it an orb. What is this like? Well, it's an item. You're like, yeah, what's the what's the opposite of bonus anti bonus? Nega bonus. You're fired, Kyle. The fuck out. Jim, what you got? And can put yin yings in it? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. We sign the yin yang twins. They're on board. That's Japanese as fuck. Put it in there. That was a subtitle this game. Japanese as fuck. Why kids with Japanese grandpa? Japanese as fuck. That's explained at some point in the movie, right? I want to say so, maybe. I hope it's not. I hope it's like one of those things. I think Grandpa adopted their mom or something like that. I hope it's very much like Louie, where it's just like. What do you don't think Louisa K's up Mexican? Yes. Well, Louie's a white ginger dude and he has two white kids and then his ex-wife is a very black woman. Yeah. It's not even like brought up and I like that. I mean, that's interesting, but it's like, I guess you're just not going to explain this to us. Okay. Yeah. That's all I got. Okay. That's all I got. Do you have anything? Nope. It's got scratch from beer. I just rushed. I just rushed through that because I had a lot of notes. It's totally fine. Tyler. Yes, Dave. It's been a show. It's been a show. We've done some things today. We ate. I feel like we've been, yeah, I mean, we've been Japanese as fuck. Yep. If you were to get this game about having terrible desserts. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like much like the Japanese organic food source, do not believe in sugar. The worst part of the Chinese buffet is always the desserts. You order their small dessert bar, which is banana pudding from a can. And Nilla wafers. Yep. And then like, barely sweet, like wafer things that are terrible. Not a lot of good desserts. I want my 2000 calorie chocolate sugary dessert. Thank you very much. I'm a fucking American. You know, damn right. Well, I'll have the shitty chocolate, please. If you were to get this game of beard, Tyler, what kind of beard would you give it? I would have to give it the beard of the villain from the first, from the first movie looks like the villain from Streets of Rage 2. He's like a ponytail, kind of cocky karate master guy, but they beat him whenever, you know, he throw, they throw the candy or what, or maybe it was a ball bearing. I can't remember. In the ball of the gun that makes the gun explode. So it's the jet lead. Does that also? Yeah. That's his move. It's the what the resulting beer that comes back from a gun back firing in your face. It's like a gun, like a gunpowder beard kind of a flesh ripped gun, a gunpowder beard. A smoking grin. That's a civil war term happened a lot. Oh, okay. Tyler, if you were to give this game a pair of glasses, that sums up how you feel about it. What kind of glasses would you give it? I would have to give it some shitty glasses, some shitty glasses. Tyler, how much is this game on Amazon? I didn't take, I didn't make any notes. The gun blowback beard. Is it the, how about this? Can I offer up glasses? Do you mind? Please. How about the extremely racist glasses that have Asian eyes on the lenses? Do you know what I'm talking about? I don't think they even sell those before they are just to be just a scotch tape holding back your your temples for racist Asian eyes. Yeah. So I'm going to go with that. Sorry. That's how I roll. It's good. I see color. I notice what I notice when Louis C K's ex-wife is a black woman and their kids are white as fuck. Tyler. Yes, Dave. How much do you think this game is on Amazon? I bet there were a lot of copies made because of the game because the movie was pretty popular with kids. Okay. But I know it didn't sell well. I'm going to say 11.50. 11 dollars and 50 cents. Tyler. Actual retail value of three ninjas kickback used for the Super Nintendo on Amazon at the time of this recording is. Are you ready? Are you sure? $127.99. Holy shit. It regularly averages above $100 like outside of Amazon. No one bought this fucking game. Nope. Don't blame them. Nope. So I don't think it's worth $127.99. No, it's not worth 99 cents. No, it's really not. No. This is like one of those. This is this has to be one of the games that a serious collector is like, fuck, I want to own them all. However, I don't think my soul will ever be clean for buying this game for over $100. I could have gotten at least three hand jobs for that. I've got a little segment. If we have time, we do. If we have time, a segment that we stole, I stole. I'll take I'll take the blame for this because I totally ripped this off right from Sandwich Pope Phil Hawkins, who sent us a very tiny package today, which gave us countless minutes of enjoyment. I'm very fulfilled by it. Oh yeah, absolutely. I mean, it didn't taste very good. No. Not very tasty. No. Earthy. It was an earthy package. Very earthy. Yeah. It almost seemed like it had been playing basketball for two hours and then came in. You got a sticky earthy. Yeah. Yeah. A segment that lemony. Yeah. You know, lemony Snicket's dirty package. This is YouTube comments. This is YouTube comments presented by two Roddog moms. First YouTube comment. Here's what I've done. I scoured YouTube for hours, days. I scoured YouTube for the best comments that were that were placed for playthrough videos for three ninjas kickback. Spoiler, there weren't many comments. There aren't actually a lot of playthrough videos of this game, surprisingly. So I guess everyone can afford $127 a game. Comment number one. Is that a computer game or a video game? I will. I will. The DOS game. Yeah. I wanted to add that because like that was like the most 1990s question to ask. It sounded like someone traveled from the past and asked that question. All right. Comment number two. It's good movie. Game good. Good. Not much. It's it's good movie. Number three seems like a movie rip off of that one movie three ninjas. Had to be a troll. But I chuckled. And here we go. Someone here's this is a comment from number one three ninjas fan. The reason why Chad power who played Tom Tom in the first two films three ninjas and three ninjas knuckle up was not in three ninjas kickback was because he quit acting for reasons unknown. This was the same with Michael trainer who played Rocky in the first two films was going to do kickback. But he hated acting. And that's why Sean Fox replaced him. The same goes with Max Elliott shade who played cult in the first three films three ninjas and three ninjas knuckle up and the three ninjas kickback did not play cult in the fourth and final film three ninjas colon high noon at mega mountain was because he went back to school. And I think Sean Fox who plays Rocky and kickback left to shoot a movie. There you go. Man. All right. So this is they made a video game off of the third movie where two of the actors were no longer in it. Well, that is a bad idea. That's a very bad idea, Sony. They had to prep for workaholics. That's my theory. How cool would it be? Seriously. This is not a goof. How cool would it be if those three guys from workaholics bought the rights to the three ninjas franchise and fucking made a three ninjas movie with them in it. They star in it as Rocky cold and tough time. How like that is a fucking that is a come on. That is that would make some money and a whole coconut or prize. Yes. Can you know he's not doing shit now, but they just play a sex tape. That's that's his role in the movie. They just watch his sex tape. Can you believe? I don't know what his character in that fucking movie is. Can you come probably Hulk Hogan, Commander Highball? Did this? Have you by by the way, have you seen this sex tape? Like is that like freely available on the internet? I'm sure it's freely available, but I've not seen it. So that's our next episode. Yeah. Tyler D. In real time, watch the Hulk Hogan sex day. How do we how do we forget to mention that when Taryn was on now, just slip my mind. You're too busy thinking about those red dirt. Taryn, did you see that really disgusting video of Hulk Hogan? Like, I think he says racist things while he has sex with the prostitute? Allegedly. I don't know. I haven't seen it. Tyler, did you have any achievements for this game? Let's see. No, but I could think of one. Let's say, passivist ninja, beat a whole level without killing anyone. Okay. Let's see. What's the what's the final fantasy 11 name for the ninjutsu invisibility? Is it just invisibility? No, it has its fucking name. Because I'll remember Utu Simi. It's not cation. That's fire. You don't remember it. And I don't remember it because it was fucking worthless because like enemies aggroed by so many things other than sight. It was like never, it was never good. Yeah, because you'd have to use the item that does the sound and then you could cast your spell and your spell is not going to last as long as your item. Right. It's worthless. It was dumb. Yeah. And then, yeah, the material components to use the ninjutsu was more expensive than you could buy the oil. Yeah. And another one would be hungry, hungry, Tom Tom plays Tom Tom and collect all the food items in the stage. Okay. And premature ejaculation, which is you hide in every cave and jerk off in the cage level, cave level. Okay. I did that. There you go. I unlocked that. I have two achievements. It's a theme. You ready? Mm-hmm. You don't like this. Hundred hand sap. Hundred head sap, Tyler. Beat the sumo boss, the E Honda, the Kmart E Honda, without taking any damage. Ready for ready for my second achievement, Tyler? What's Kmart E Honda? Like beam, it's a B-shey. Yeah. G-Masa. G-Masa. That's my rap name. My second achievement, Tyler. You don't like this. Nurse Jack off. Yeah. Yeah. In order to unlock that, you beat Nurse Shubia without taking any damage. Tyler, she looks like a dragon's butt. Is that a YouTube comment? That is a comment from your mentor in the game. Oh. I don't think she does, but okay. Yeah, she doesn't. She does look like a gigantic woman. Yeah. With a needle. I'm assuming it's an AIDS needle. I get it. I get it. I get it. That's all I got. That's all I got. Thanks for listening to this episode, everybody. Thanks for if you didn't get offended by the Jonathan Brenda stuff. Sticking through us the rest of the episode. We did not mention rape in this one. Nope. For the record. Nope. Until this point, we did run on some moms. That doesn't count. Did you get some blowback for our bear? You did not get any blowback from our bear, which made me think that no one listened to the episode, which is a lot. Streets of Rage 2, the numbers for Streets of Rage 2, were fucking deculus. Like, they are ridiculously high. Like, day one numbers I was like, I had to do the thing where I take my glasses off from my eyes and put them back on. So thank you to everyone who listened to Streets of Rage 2. I thank you to everyone for listening to me make it for a poorly time rape joke. Now, let's give ourselves some credit. The timing was good. But prepare yourself because I can guarantee you, three ninjas kickback is going to be low as shit. You're probably right. Just because it follows the trend, like eke the cat, like all the things that we think is going to be hilarious because it's so fucking dumb. Just completely fucking dumb. Everyone just thinks it's fucking dumb. So we don't listen to it. Like, eke the cat, I mean, eke the cat was like the lowest that we have done in a long time. Because like, even like, now when you look at the numbers, it's like, oh, man, these are all really good. What happened? So there was, I remember that fucking show, Pat. Yeah, you're probably right. You're probably right. This will be awful. There's something I want to mention. Then I actually meant to mention in the last episode. Yeah. Okay, so just right off the bat, I am the person to blame on this. I, a couple of weeks ago, I had mentioned to Tyler, I said, hey, I think it would be a good idea to go back to one episode a week, our original format, and just put out one episode each Wednesday. For various different reasons, I honestly feel I'm having a problem with my work home and Ted bog balance, because I feel, I feel a need to play the games that we talk about. Two completion if you can. If I can, yeah, I want to finish the games. And I feel like, I have no qualms quitting a shitty game or something, not in joy. Oh, I quit. I fucking quit three ninjas kick back without a fucking problem. And then, honestly, like the first level, I quit. And then I was like, I'll watch a gameplay video for the rest of it, so I can at least have some commentary. But even that, it's like, you know, being out of the house when we record, I mean, it's not crazy amounts of time, but it's six hours a week that Nikki and Henry are both up. And you know, it's usually I'll spend a Sunday playing the game and then come into record. And I'll be out of pocket for pretty much the most day. So I was feeling really bad about that. And I don't want to not play the games, because when I, when I don't play the games and I come on the show and talk about it, I feel disingenuous. And I hate the way that makes me feel like I can't, I can't do that because it just makes me feel like I am not doing, I'm not fulfilling this thing called integrity. Yeah. I mean, vaguely, I have a vague sense of integrity. It's because I took Twi Kondo in middle school. They just they like lesson number one is always play the video games for your podcast in the future. Because I'm looking at all of you kids, and I know you do not have a future in anything athletic. So Tyler and I talked about it. And Tyler, you, you did not want to go back to one episode away. I mean, I understood. That's fine. Yeah. My, my last few weeks have been fucked up as well. Sure. And you were willing to do that for me. You said you, you let me know that that is not something that you want to do. So like, tub, tub won't fucking lit me. So I'm gonna burn the fuck out right now. No, no, no, no. And, and you know, it's not that at all. You're, you're very, very kind and understanding and said, yeah, sure, that's not a problem. And, and then I had some time to think about it. And this is honestly, this is this, my biggest concern was that we have, we have Patreon donors, and they are extremely generous. And they donate based on us producing two episodes a week. And I feel like it's a disservice to go back to one episode per week, if people are essentially paying us for what they're used to, which is, which is two episodes a week. And, and I love doing the show. Don't get me wrong. And I, and I do not want to stop doing the show. Like that's, that's extremely important for me to stress to you, Tyler and the listeners that I love doing this. And I want to keep doing it. And one of the reasons that I kind of wanted to go back to one episode, I told you this is that I don't want to stop loving tadpaw. And I was worried that if I continue to do this, that I'm, that if I continue to do two a week, then I am going to reach a point where I'm just going to burn out. And I'm not going to want to do the show at all anymore, which is really, as a really scary thought because this show is definitely part of my life now. Like this is like, I, I revolve a lot of things around the show. It's a thing we do. Yeah. I mean, our, our schedules, we revolve our schedules around it, not only recording the show and playing the games and taking notes, but there are two marriages. Yeah, exactly. And public, I mean, publishing. And there's a lot of stuff that goes into the, into the show beyond, you know, recording. So I started feeling bad because I want to give, I want to give the listener, I want to give you guys your, your money's worth, honestly. And I, I know that you love the show. And I don't want to, I don't want to pull a move where it's like, oh, well, now you get, now you get 50% of what you're used to. So what, what I would like to do is, when the spirit of other shit Mondays, when we started other shit Mondays, was that it would be an episode at once a week where we could talk about other shit. And we're where Wednesdays would drag on us and we would have to keep kind of a strict schedule on Wednesdays so we could do them. Right. We were, we're going to do whatever the fuck we want. Exactly. And on Wednesdays, because that's when we were doing lists and we were getting, I mean, the lists were shitty. I mean, and that's, I think where other shit Monday came from is like, we wanted to play other games. We wanted to play games that we enjoyed. And I still want to do that. But what happened is other shit Monday kind of morphed into it's another, it's another regular episode. When we stopped doing a list, Wednesday and Monday became really similar. We still do like all calls and specials and stuff like that on Mondays typically. But what I would like to do is I want to continue doing a Monday show, but I would, I would really like Monday to just be whatever. Like I would love it to just be whatever we feel like talking about. Cause that'll be where we open packages, where we take calls, where we do interviews, where we, maybe we'll decide what we've been playing or whatever. Because it'll be, games will be brought up at some point. It'll be game tangential. I'm sure at some point, but I mean, honestly, I'm even like on board to do stuff like, Hey, I saw this on Reddit today and I think it's funny and it doesn't have anything to do with video games. But I mean, I think our listeners would enjoy it. Yeah. You know what I mean? And I feel like, I feel like we can expand beyond what we've been doing and bring in other topics. Cause we do that anyway. Like fucking three ninjas, we talked about the game for not very long, 15 minutes. We're at an hour and a half now. So oh yeah. Okay. We should probably wrap it up. I just thought it was important. I wanted to say this so that no one is surprised in the future. If you get, if, if we publish some weird Monday episodes, that's why. Yeah. It's because I kind of want to take a little bit of a breather. I want to catch my brain. Two games a week. Yeah. It's very difficult. Yeah. It's very difficult. So I appreciate Tyler, your, your understanding and I appreciate the, the kindness of the listeners. No, I mean, it sounds good to me too to focus on playing one game more for Wednesdays and then Monday. I mean, and if we have played a game, maybe not to say sometimes it won't be a game. If it's something we've wanted to play or like something like that we play for pleasure, not just for the show, we can play it, you know, talk about it or whatever. I want it to be, I want it to be zero stress. Like I honestly want Monday shows to be zero stress. And like I even, Tyler, this is sad. Like we pretty much see each other and talk to each other when we do the show. Yeah. Like we do not really hang out outside of the show, which we used to a lot. Yeah. And it's just, I mean, it's just because of our lives. Now it's just busy. So yeah, it's not like we're not, we're not pen and tell a rut's like, no, we did not see each other so it doesn't get old. But it feels, sometimes it feels that way and that bums me out because it's like when we do only see each other when we record, it's kind of like, Oh man, this is kind of a bummer because that's when we see each other. That's it. Our other time has to be spent doing other things. Yeah. So we have other obligations that are important. So like even like on some Mondays, like honestly, this is gonna sell cheesy as fuck, but there's some monies that honestly I'd kind of just like to sit down and just hang out with you and just talk about things. Yeah. I mean, now that we'd, I guess also not playing D&D like we used to is probably also a factor because we'd always like, that was play D&D slash hang out slash shoot the shit. Yeah. So all that. So once my game ended, then like D&D kind of went on a hiatus. So that also is like a chunk that we used to do that with. Yeah. And for, I mean, the same reason that we're kind of, that I'm kind of in the situation where I feel like I'm having a problem with balance. Yeah. And that is things just changed. I mean, you had Kenan, I had Henry. And I mean, that is, wow, there's a lot. That's the big. There's a lot involved there. Like a huge amount. Yeah. And I hate the feeling where it's like, I don't want to be you want to do something? All right. Well, let me see if somebody minds watching a kid and somebody does this and right? Well, yeah, I have to make sure Nikki's at home. And if she's not at home, I have to make arrangements with mom to watch Henry, that kind of deal. So yeah, I mean, it's, it's tough. And I'm sure listeners, the listeners with children understand that, I hope. And I was without children are like, I'm more fucking have children. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's pros and cons. I love my son, but they're definitely pros and cons. And a lot of this, because I don't, I also don't want to, you know, try to sound like I'm trying to bring people into the cult. No, you have to. Why haven't you? Yeah, you have to. It's magical. I will say, think hard about your decision. It's, it's very, it's amazing. It's very good. But yeah, there are even, even my own mom, my mom was like, basically, like, all she's ever wanted to do is have kids, take care of kids. Like, that is like, that is what she loves doing, what she feels like her purpose is. Even her, she will say like, really hard sometimes. Yeah. Always really hard sometimes. Yeah. So. Yeah. And a lot of it also stems from like, I want to be around for Henry. My dad was around, but my dad worked a lot. And the industry he was in, he would be off-site a lot. So I mean, there were times where, you know, I wouldn't see him for a couple of weeks. And I don't want that, I want a strong relationship with Henry. So I want, like, it's really important to me to, to spend time with him. Yeah. So a lot of that is me being super sensitive about, about that. I want to get in as much time as I can with him. Yeah. So, no, but that's it. So if things are weird for the next few Mondays, it's on me. Yeah. So Mondays, Mondays would just be fun for us. Hopefully, fun for you. I think it will be. I think it will be. Yeah. And if it's not, we, we, we're not, we've never been like, dry, straight to the point, game facts kind of podcast anyway. No, no, no, no. And I don't want to be. That's not us. And I would have thought, like, our interview episodes, the All Calls episodes are generally not as popular until recently, like, Chandra and Paul's All Calls was through the fucking roof. Yeah. Yeah. And I do think, I want to, this is extremely weird tangent, but I really want to thank Time Lord, Josh Edwards, because I feel like, I realize that we got packages, lovely packages from other people before Josh sent his eyeball package, his things to eat with eyeballs. But he sent that horrible, horrible, awful, nasty package. And then people, like, listeners just started sitting. Still eat whatever we send them. I know. I mean, it was just like the floodgates open. I have two more packages in my car. I've got, as far as I know, we have two more coming in. It's wonderful. It is amazing. Like that feels really, really, really good. Yeah. But people clean up their fridge. You just they pay a shipping fee to get rid of their garbage. This is not okay. This looks like it's a Safeway brand container of cottage cheese that's been duct tape shut. Yeah. And it's a little puffy. Like there's, I don't know, I'm going to open it, though. What is this current? So sorry if I got schmaltzy on that. I just, I mean, we need to talk about it. Yeah, I just wanted to, you know, say it. And if you're right, and no one hears this, they're just going to be confused anyway. 300 people know what's going on. The Regent, like what the fuck happened a Monday? You know, that means we have to make the next Mondays as absolutely fucking bizarre as possible. Like Tyler and Dave talk about Dr. Katz. I don't think that'd be that weird. Or the Sunday, the Comedy Central Sunday night animation block. We're just talking about the, the pilot of Duck Man. And that's just the whole episode. I could, well, I don't know if I could talk about, yeah, I could do it. Fuck it. I could do it. Yeah. I'm not going to, I'm not going to rewatch it. I'm going to go based on memory. I happened the first episode of Duck Man. Ramels really fat and farts. That female duck that works out a lot was probably angry. They're those twins. They're together like joint twins. They're kind of strange. That's a duck man. George Costanza got yelled at. And then yells at people. Yeah. There's a pig. It's like, Joe Friday, Joe Friday pig. I think his name was. So I'm down. We just did it. Just cut that out. And it pays. Yeah. There's our episode for Monday. Thanks for listening, everybody. You can find that show on iTunes, Stitcher and SoundCloud. So I'm going to miss the next episode. Other ship Monday, baby. We'll see. We'll see what's going on. We don't know. It's a grab bag. Figured out. We'll open a package, probably. Yeah. Your damn right. We'll open a package. We did 40 minutes opening the tiny package today. We could probably just do the whole episode going through. I've got a very heavy package. I'm going to point blank, be totally honest right now. I thought I needed to pass a little gas. It's a questionable one. I'm not sure what just happened. So there you go, Phil Hawkins. I ate all this weird fiber natural stuff, trusted something that may have just betrayed me. I don't know. You know, the motto in Facebook chat right now is never trustworthy. Yeah. I'm very glad I'm wearing mesh knockie pants right now. Very glad I put on underwear before you recorded. Very glad. I know you probably need to go check yourself. So two no. What's fun? Two to Monday. And I'll tell you whether or not I did. But I have a question for you because you said Nike pants. In middle school, was it a weird thing if you wore like Adidas shoes with Nike pants? People could only wear Adidas if they were soccer players. Okay. That was the rule. So you could probably get away with it if you were a soccer player. Otherwise you were a poser if you were Adidas and Nike was what cool kids were. I'm so glad you said poser because that is exactly the term that was used in middle school. I had to be very conscience, conscience. I had to be very conscious of the shorts, the logo on my shorts and the logo on my shoes. They had to match. I could do a whole episode over sock politics when in middle school. There's Monday show. Yeah. And throughout the generations because I know from me to Ryan's wife, Danielle, to Brainy Gatsby's daughter, sock politics are important all throughout middle school and early high school. I want to hear about it. Yeah. I do. I do. All those things on the ship Monday. Don't know what we'll do. I'll tell you whether or not I did. I did my other shit or whatever. We still iTunes. It's a big project place Monday. Did we shit Monday? We get 139. We're doing we're doing good on those reviews. It's awesome. Thank you. It's amazing. So please go to iTunes, find us, subscribe, give the show a five star rating, write a review in that review that's a game you want us to play. Guess who should want for an episode something for the patreon included in there. We promise whatever you put, we will do it eventually. Don't worry guys. Like Tyler said, we're going to be back. We're going to be talking about something. In the meantime, you can always find this on tadpog.com. That's where the show notes live. You can find us on Facebook. We're at facebook.com/ tadpog. There's a lot of cool people there doing a lot of cool shit. Former master of coin Ryan Walters blowing it up on Facebook posting all kinds of relevant things. So thank you very much. You can find us on Twitter. We are at tadpog_podcast. It's cumbersome. I realize, hey, thank you very much to those of you on Twitter who retweet us, especially our episode announcements, because that helps spread the word to people who may otherwise not know about us. And that is a really cool thing. Did we bring up Chris Edler going throughout the entire Tadpog library and posting pictures of pinball machines from all the episodes? We have not. So you did that sprint. Also blowing up Facebook. Yes. So if you've noticed very old Tadpog posts showing up in your feed, like I have, which is amazing. That's the high rise garage door. If you can hear that. Either somebody's going to bed or somebody's leaving, but that yeah, it makes the entire Tadpog high rise vibrate whenever Ryan misses the garage door. So yes, thank you pinball archmage for proposing that because I love it when old episodes pop up my feed because it's like, oh yeah, we did do mutant apocalypse. That's great. Like I'd mentioned to you, I want 100% forgot we did Super Smash TV. I know totally, totally managed for my memory. Big money, big prizes. Buy that for a dollar. You can also, if you want to call us, you can do so at 270-883-2555. Leave us a voicemail, try to keep it under three minutes. That's the cutoff. If also, if you'd like to text message us, you can do so at that same number. We have a Patreon, which we mentioned earlier. You can find that at patreon.com/tagpog. Donate at least a dollar a month and you get access to our bonus episodes. We just talked to Taryn not too long ago about sex stuff and all kinds of, we did not talk about the whole Kogan sex tape regarding that now, but whatever next time. And thank you very, very much to everybody on Patreon who donates to us. That is really cool. And it is how we measure our success. Oh, someone else, I remember I got like 20 comments on Facebook one day that somebody posted. So another Facebook comment hero, Yomar Lopez. I remember one day I was driving back from Clarksville one day and my phone just, so just thank you for being a Facebook hero. Absolutely. Robin Thorne is also posted several times. Yes. The one that told us about that Stargate was actually a yes and Paul Clark who called and we told him what possums were. He had a check to make sure they were real. So if you comment on Facebook and you're not an everyday poster and you start posting there, I think you deserve to be mentioned. Deserve it. Peter. Peter Panda. Peter Panda. He posts a lot comments a lot. Cody Stinson. Yes. Cody Stinson a lot. Mason Schultz. And then he finally that's always like a value to your Patreon. Thank you. I just set a trap for us. Now we're definitely going through and if I miss you, we'll get you post in this episode post. Hey, you forgot me and I will forget you next time. Chances are actually, I'll read that comment and be like, we forgot. What do we forget? I won't remember that we recorded. Oh shit. What do you say? How do you want to or our James Soggis moves? Let's get more dry. I looked at that. I can move on the terms. I'm about to come. P.O. Box. If you want to send us a package, let me pull that up because I don't know it off the top of my head. Come on. I got it. I got it. Super fast internet. I got it. You can send us a package to Tadpogg Studios. Care of Nicole Nance. That's P.O. Box 3, 7, 8, 5, Paducah, Kentucky, 4, 2, 0, 0, 2. How do you close this out? Tum-tum. All right. Tum-tum watching his brothers tug on their P.P.s in a cave. So until next time, why are you fertilizing your waiters? You're goo-ders. Goo-ders. Goo-der-mertilization. You know, like we've talked about, I'm pretty open. I feel like I have a good grasp on an open personality, and I just don't know if I could let 50-60 people watch me spread eagle.