Basically Famous
55: CancerCrush
(upbeat music) - Welcome to the basically famous podcast, where we're taking our notoriety to the mic and no topic is offline. I'm your host Wendy. - And I'm your host Spencer. Each week we talk about life's bullshit, our hotcakes, and make one of you basically famous too. (upbeat music) - Wow, we dusted off our microphones. We don't even know if we know how to do this. And I figured to jump back in that episode, somebody said that they don't care what we talk about. We're gonna, that they would, they don't care if we read the dictionary. So I figured we are gonna read the dictionary for this podcast to ease back into it. - Love. - Does that sound good? - Yeah. - All right, let's go. (laughs) - Imagine. - So I was gonna just whip out a webinar. - So I was gonna do that and start reading it. I don't even have a dictionary. So I said, why do I need a print dictionaries? - I don't know. Probably the dollar store. I feel like the dollar store has them. They still make bibles. - That's a little different. - True. - People like to, nobody's carrying around a dictionary like. - Oh my God, it's not-- - Protect me. - I bet some people marry 'em. - I'm marrying a web store. - What's she doing now? - I don't know. - What's on Mariam doing? - Oh, excuse me, sorry. I just have like forgotten what we're doing. I also was saying about, I was like, oh my God, will I even remember how to edit? - Yeah, you will. - Hi. - I hope you like riding a bike. - Me and since we're talking and we have seen each other, like a couple times now since, when did we record last? Was it June? Somebody commented in our box. - I think it was end of June, because I said, see you at some point in July maybe. - Okay. - And then the wheels fell off the bus of my life. - I thought it was July we recorded, but somebody was like, I'm not, they either DM'd it to us or responded and they were like, I'm only seeing June 20 something. I don't know what the date was. Is that correct? And I'm like, June, I was like, we definitely did July, but you're right. I do remember, but I swear I thought we did a July 4th one for some reason or around that time. - No, I think we talked about it. 'Cause we were like, we'll do this one like check in episode. And then we were like, maybe we'll do a 4th of July before we like finish out the rest of our little summer break. - Well, we did it. So it's almost October, correct. - Fall has started. We went from May, June, barely, we did like what two episodes in June, and then none in July, none of August. And now September and we're about to be on October. Like what? - I know. - But Spencer and I, we obviously talk. People thought that like, we aren't friends anymore. - Well, I mean, there is another podcast that, you know, if you're an OG, OG, you know, took a quick two week hiatus that turned into a forever hiatus. - Okay, yeah. - And I think people were thinking that. - Correct. - No, we were still talking, we were just, we were just crazy. Like we didn't sync up until I'll get, when did we go to dinner, August? Or at the end of July, August? - Well, no, it wouldn't be. - Either way. - It would have been August 'cause it was right after. - Okay. - 'Cause I was like, I don't even remember, I know we like finally synced up when we talk about it a little bit, but it was just, if this summer was crazy and y'all want a kindergarten update on Fisher, please give us a kindergarten update before we get into my show. - It ain't great, it ain't great. You know, at first it was really good. I'm like, wow, he's really behaved. And they come home, if you're a, I don't think all schools do this, apparently this is an outdated way of behavioral charts, okay? So he comes home either on green, yellow, or red. Green is obviously good, red is bad, yellow is like, meh, right? - So they send a color home every day. - So he has a folder that has like his artwork or schoolwork in it, and they have a little dot. You know, like it's a little thing. - Okay, okay. - And let the parent know, like, okay, this is where he's at, whatever. Well, Fisher is very competitive. He loves stuff like that. Well, he came home on green for a good, I don't know, eight or nine days. And I finally was like, my kid? I was like, is she giving everybody green? Like, even I thought that was a little weird. - Is she cheating the system? - Right, 'cause I was like, I don't know. Like, that seems a little weird. And then he did come home on a yellow. And then he's only been in school one full week, mind y'all, 'cause the way that the staggered entry this year was, because of Labor Day, he went one day. It was a Thursday, it was his day. Did not go again until after Labor Day on a Wednesday. - Which is always so weird to me. - So weird, it was a Wednesday. So he went Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, all green. Then he went that full week, and then he went four days. So that's it, that's all he's been in school. It seems like a long time, it's not. This is the only the second full week that he's gonna be in school. And then he got again next, whenever the third is. He has another teacher work day. I don't remember this many, do you? - No. - So then on Monday, last week, I love his school, it's a great school, it's beautiful. It ain't nothing like what, it's just a beautiful school, but school is very different than when you went to school. You can't just walk up in there anymore. It's very locked down, which I'm glad. But I get an email from his teacher through their little app, and she's like, you know, telling me that Fisher's having trouble listening, and I'm like, that sounds about right, yep. So we like, get a talk in and we're going back and forth. And I never wanna be the mom, it's like, my kid would never do that. Like, I'm not that person. I put smiley faces in my email, so she knew the tone. And I was like-- - I use an extra exclamation point. - Listen, you know how I text, I either have no punctuation at all ever. - Right. - Or like 14 exclamation points. - 82 heart emoji. - Yeah, there's no in between with me. - But I won't. - Right, but I won't do like periods, or I won't ever do a question mark. And I think that probably drives you crazy. - See, I'm the opposite. - You're the opposite. - I do periods, and then people think of this. - Right, me, I'm people, I'm like, are you mad at me? But I don't do question marks, I'll just ask people a question, I'm like, God, that probably drives. Like, people are like, you crazy. But I wanted her to know that I wasn't like, I didn't want her to be defensive, but it also kind of wasn't making sense because I had sent Stephanie Gaga his sitter, like some of like the screenshots. And it seemed just off because if someone's coming home on green every day, I'm not talking to him about behavior. It seems like there's nothing to talk about. - Right, right. - And when I asked the teacher, you know, like, has this been going on a long time, or is this just starting? Are you noticing a pattern time of day when these are on something short? - Like, whatever, give me some clarity. - She's like, no, it's pretty consistent. And I was like, what? So he came home out of like nine days with one yellow. Well, when he got home and Mike had picked him up, Mike was like, showing him and fish was like, I thought she was kidding. She really, you know, Mike's like, no, you really got a yellow. Well, he was like, oh, she was kidding. - Right, he was like, door up about it. So I was like, that's so weird that he, you're having these issues and he's been coming home on green. I was like, he really thrives on the colors that you're giving. So I would think his behavior should reflect that. And anyway, we've hashed, not hashed out, there was nothing hashed out. We talked about it. So now we've been having conversations. He was great the next day. She's like, whatever you said at home. Like it was wonderful. He was helping his friends that weren't paying attention. - Oh. - Then he came home the next day on Red. - Oh. - Yeah. - Red. - Oh no. - Red, oh no. - Okay, what did he do? - I just not listen, I don't know, just not listening. Just not listening. And so it's like, Mike and I were talking about it. We've talked about it every day. Fisher's not a bad kid. So he's not hitting, he's not pinching. Like he's not a physical kid. Like some kids are hitting. When Fisher is, when his eyes are open, he's out of 10. - Right. - All the time. - Right. - And that's hard for a classroom setting. It just does. - Well, and I think that's the thing. Like he, quote, bad, it's not even that he's bad. He's like, just talking. And yeah, you're supposed to sit crisscross. I was also on the carpet. Well, that's what he says he's not doing. I said, well, today I asked him, well, why, he came on yellow. I'm like, why? Okay, let's talk about it. Why are you not sitting crisscross? I was like, he's like, well, because I don't wanna sit. It's just not as fun. I said, why? He's like, 'cause playing is more fun. I'm like, I understand that. - No, she's right. - While you're not wrong, you can't. As a, you gotta listen. Like you have to listen during, now he had that same problem in preschool. He liked to eat a little jitters, little ants and skins. But when I look at his skin as well. - He's also your child. - He is my, I'm the same way. - Right. - I don't know. But when I look at his schedule, he has an hour of math and like, he has, they have subjects. Which is just so different than when we were in school. There's one hour basically in the whole day that he's not learning. So he has a 30 minute lunch and 30 minute recess. That just seems like a lot of-- - Do I have long blocks of time? - I know. - I can't pay attention to an hour of math. - That, thank you. That is my point. 'Cause I've asked a couple of clients about this, 'cause I don't know. I've never had a kid in kindergarten and it's hard to like figure out-- - I'm thinking like, 30 minutes max. - Right. - Especially when we're talking about kindergarteners. - And at the end of the day, he's like, "Can you pick me up before math?" And he wants to skip kindergarten. I'm like, no. And he wanted to skip today. I was like, also no. But he has not said, thank God, knock on wood. He has not said he doesn't like school. And he has not said he doesn't like want to go back. Say, he'll ask me to skip, but he still wants to go. - Eventually he wants to go back to play hockey. - Great. He did give his teacher a flower on the playground today. I said, "You did?" And he was like, "Yeah." He said, "She kept it." I said, "Did she keep her throw on the ground?" He's like, "She kept it." - Spit on it, throw it away. - He'll ask me, sometimes I'll hand me at like, if I take him to the playground and I don't want to hold it, it'll drive in my purse and flake onto all my other stuff. I'm like, "I don't really want to hold onto that." And he'll be like, "Mom, where's your flower?" I'm like, "Oh, he did that to me one day." - He has, yeah. - He picked me a dandelion. - Yeah, he picked me a dandelion in the driveway. - He wants to see it. - I carried it around for a minute. And then I kind of tossed it to the side 'cause it's dandelion. - And I swear to God, it was like, "Where's your flower?" - Yeah, it was like he put a GPS on that bitch 'cause he was like-- - He wants to see it. - He wants to see it. - 30 seconds after I tossed it to the side, he's like, "Where's your flower?" - Let him catch you throwing it on the ground. He'll make you feel so crappy. He'll be like, "Why'd you just throw that down, Mommy?" I'm like, "Oh my God, you're right at the worst person ever. "Oh my God, guilt trip." - Go ahead, yeah. - So anyway, kindergarten, not great. - I mean, could be worse. - Okay, so he's fidgety and hyper. - It could be worse, but you never want to feel like your kid is the only one and the teacher was like, "Yeah, "we'll watch it for a couple of weeks "and if it doesn't get better, "we'll put them on a behavior plan." Which seems so aggressive. Some of my friends were like, "That's really aggressive." - She's been teaching for like 10 years, but she seems younger, like younger. - But like, that does seem, I don't listen. - It's kindergarten. - I don't have kids. However, I feel like, as you said, he's barely even had a full week of school. - There's no routine we're talking about. Right, we're talking about behavior plans, like. So the kid wants to play instead of sitting crisscross at the sauce. Cool, I don't want to sit that way. - But that's the way he ever hurts my knees. - Right, I want to get on the floor again. I mean, sometimes I do a puzzle and I feel like my back's going to crack when I stand up, it's not like a nature valley growing all of our getting up. Like, I need custom white countertops 'cause it hurts my back to do the dishes. - I know, it just seems like so much and I've heard people say this for years, all my clients. And it's ironic because the last few weeks, several of my clients have had boys that it's always boys too, y'all. It's always boys. So many clients are like, yeah, we're having trouble. And I was like, really? I mean, we are doing so good, like not bragging, but they asked me how fast you go. I was like, so good. Like, I'm so shocked, he's doing great. Meanwhile, maybe he was like giving her flowers on the playground, she didn't want to give him like a yell and she's like, screw this, you're being bad. - Just like, you can't take it anymore. - I don't know, I just want to like, again, I don't want her not to think that I'm taking it seriously and I have followed up with her every single day. Like, we've talked about it. He told me this is what happened at school today. We've talked about his color review. And then in the flip side, I don't want my kid to think I don't believe him 'cause I think that sucks too when people are like, my parents won't believe me. Like, there's kids out there that their parents never believe what they say and they're at the school being like, you know, raising hell, I don't know, but I don't know, it's gotta be somewhere in the middle. - Has he gotten any green since he got his first yellow? - Yes, yes. - Okay, so it's not like she just decided more than day. No, he still gets mostly green, but he has had red and a yellow, maybe one red now and there was one day, now I'm getting them confused, he either started on green and they marked it out but a yellow or a red or something. I was like, oh no. - I'm gonna start color rating my days. - Girl same, now I think about my day and every night I go to bed I'm like, today was green. Today was red. - Yesterday was a red, I was really spiraling yesterday. - We need an orange, don't you think? 'Cause sometimes yellow, yellow is like, I say that's more green, but maybe one thing happened. - Right, just a little bit more. - Green is like the, like, rare. - Like rating it a five. Like I'm one of those jerks that when you give me a customer service or a dash, you're gonna be like, I'm gonna put a four. - Right, you're not getting a five. - Unless it's exceptional, you're getting a four and that's a green to me. Most days are probably gonna be a yellow, 'cause our most days perfect, no. - Right, something's gonna go, I'll filter, yeah, I can see. - Something's gonna go awry. - You know, somebody's gonna cut me off and the Trader Joe's parking lot and piss me off. All the way, yeah, you know, but I agree, I think an orange. - An orange would be good too, 'cause I feel like things could really need another one in there. - Things can really teeter between yellow and orange, not necessarily a red. - And red is like, fire is a blaze. - Yeah, that's not the day's burning down. - Right, that's more rare. A green and a red, rare, rare. Yellow and orange, that's gonna be art. We're gonna rate this every single night now. I'm gonna text you, I'm like, what do you got? - I'm gonna start, that's how I'll reintroduce myself to Instagram. - Today is green. - Today is green. - Today is orange, we'll let y'all know. So whether or not you need to DMS that day or not, we'll just do it on our stories every day from basically famous. - Yeah, just a big die. - I almost said swiping up, that's how long it's been. - Great, really out of practice. - Great, so when you put up a question box, there was lots of talk about two things, specifically that people wanted us to talk about it. - Are we gonna say the same ones? - Diddy. - And Mom Talk. - And Mom Talk. - Yeah. - Man. - Man, I'm not usually in the know, you usually keep me in the know, but you haven't been keeping me in the know. - I have it. - And I mean, I am in the know. - No, I know, but I'm saying you usually feel that I am here, or you'll tell me like, hey, this is what we're gonna talk about. - I'm particularly impressed that you would know anything about Mom Talk. - Okay, so when you came over and I was doing my room, remember I was, I had, did I talk about COVID? - I got COVID. - Yes. - Okay, so I had COVID several weeks ago, and I started watching the Mom Talk, the Secret Wives. - Okay. - And I think you had come over either after that or before that. Now, I don't remember. It was before because Mike got COVID first and brought it home, so I saw you and me. - Mm-hmm. - Okay, yes. - So anyway, I was watching it that weekend, and I knew you obviously probably were like fully, but I remembered it 'cause you brought it up on our show. We talked about Taylor. - Yeah. - And that immediately was like, "Wait a second." Taylor, it rang about, and I was like, "Okay." So then I started it. See, all my useless chatter on here, it's not for now. - I never think it's useless. I think it's great. - It's pretty hot. But-- - Could it become relevant again one day? - That's why the show is evergreen. - Yes, and you know, that's right. We needed a reference back to that situation because I actually really liked Taylor from watching the show. - Yeah. - I don't know what I said about her before. So I don't remember what the narrative-- - I really-- - It was not great, I'm sure. - It was not. I definitely think, well, the diddy thing, there's not a whole lot to say about the diddy thing as of yet. - It's so bad. - Other than like, he's gross. - But he's just, he is just a cog in the machine. He's just a cog. People are talking about him like he's, you know, the kingpin, creme de la creme, top of the food chain. You know, he's not-- - And then the names people are close. - I know, people. - He's middle management guarantee. - Exactly, I guarantee you too. Me and Mike were talking about it, and all the memes now that are circulating, talking about he's gonna start spewing names, or Mike was like, I guarantee you he gets killed because just like the Epstein stuff, they don't want, they want to do the same prison. - Right, and did you see the slums of that prison? Like it's not a good-- - Disgusting. - Disgusting, they're gonna-- - There should be, but they, I don't ever want somebody to die, obviously, but if he is guilty of all these things, that's disgusting. But I guarantee you something's gonna go down because he's holding all these names attached to him. I'm like, oh my god. - It's crazy. And of course, obviously, everybody heard about the thousand bottles of baby oil. - Oh my god, yeah. - But here's the thing, and I heard somebody talk about this, and I didn't even make the connection, and once I heard this, it made me sick, and I can't even find amusement out of all the memes and jokes about all the baby oil anymore because of this. - So this girl was like, everybody is putting all these memes and making jokes, and like, sure, at face value, it's kind of funny. - Yeah. - And she was like, imagine that you're being assaulted and you've been drugged and slathered in baby oil, and how do you get away? She was like, you can't. If you're slippery because your body's covered in baby oil and you've been drugged so you don't have all your faculties to begin with, is that why he did baby oil? - Well, it's not lube. I really don't know why the, what? - Well, I mean, I think it's speculatory. - I thought it was lube. - There was lube, but a thousand bottles of baby oil was separate from lube. Like, what are you using that for? - So people were slick and he couldn't-- - Making your victims lubed up like a greased up pig so they can't get away. - That's so gross. - Sick. It made my stomach turn. - The whole situation is gross, and then when you see the, like obviously now the Justin Bieber videos are starting to pop up, and then it's like so weird to watch that. Like when Ashley Mary watched her stories last night about it, and the one where he was checking Bieber for the wire, did you see that one on her stories? - Where he's like patting him up and stuff. - Yeah, and he asked him something in his ear and then he like reached over and felt, and then he like whispered something and he was like, no, I'm like, this thing is so crazy. And then Usher being like, basically speaking on it, I'm like, I can't even sleep. Like this is-- - Well supposedly Usher sweeping it, like cleaning up his social media. Like I guess he was deleting posts and videos and shit today. - Of what? - Photos of him at parties, I don't know. - Oh, I mean, y'all, it is holly weird. Like people have said this for so long, but it was so untrackable and no one really spoke out, and now that there's so much, so many people willing to speak on it and so much trauma that people are trying to like overcome and like get it out there, it is kind of mind-blowing that so many big names are attached to these and then the parties and you, it's just a matter of what-- - And like people are coming out now and they're like, oh yeah, well we knew about that this and this was going on. It's like, you realize like admitting to this now for clout makes you look like the biggest piece of shit. - Yeah. - Just keep your mouth shut like you've done all these years. Keep it to your damn self if you really feel the need to confess what you've seen. Go to the feds. - Right. - Go to the feds. - And you should have, I mean, I don't know. I don't know what I would do. - I mean, I think-- - In that situation-- - A lot of them are in really hard positions and like their livelihoods were dependent on probably keeping their mouths shut. - Yeah. - Also, they're alive. - I mean, that's what my thing would be, I'd be scared. - Like it's not like the man's been accused many times of having people offed. - Yeah, no, that would be my biggest thing is like someone killing me versus like, just not want to 'cause my career or something, like I'd be willing to risk a lot, especially for children. But I would fear that somebody would just put me on a list and be like, okay, well, same thing that's gonna happen to him. Like he's sitting on this list of people. - His otherwise healthy mother of his children dying of pneumonia, quote. - Right, that's right. - Okay, yeah. - Rip, Kim Porter, don't believe you died from pneumonia. - No ma'am, no, we are investigators. And now we're on red. Now we're mad. Did he did it? Did he did it? Did you hear the M&M song? - Yes, me and Mike, I sent it to Mike today. And then Mike said, I've seen that a couple of times, but how crazy? - No fucks. That's why he's a man. - I do love M&M still. - He's also evergreen, still relevant. - He sure is, he sure is. - Here for old Marshall Mathers, clean his little act up. - I know. Okay, so I want to talk about mom talk, but I really just like want to get my shit out. - Yeah. - I have an update for you, which is not good. - Oh, okay. - And I'm probably gonna cry. - Spencer. - So somebody asked the update on my PCOS journey, which is not great. So part of the reason that I needed a little hiatus here is beginning of July, I went, I'd fuck, that's okay. At least, probably last night. - Oh, girl. - I've been talking forever about all the issues I've been having. And so beginning of July, I went to a new gynecologist. I finally got into one. I was going to, remember how you asked me how I was like so calm? - Yeah. Like when we went to dinner, Spencer and I-- - I'm so far past that. - Okay. - Yeah. - I mean, you were-- - You were obviously emotional, but you are very, like, I don't know if compose is the right word, but you are calm. - And you were just rational. - Yeah. - And you said you weren't shocked still kind of like, you know, it's a lot to wrap your head around. You don't have to be like that, girl, you know, you know? - So I went to the gynecologist and the, we were gonna kind of figure out my issues and then we were gonna start doing fertility testing and like, you know, doing that and figuring out what my, you know, options were for trying to conceive. And so I had an abnormal path. Not that I was surprised by that because of all the issues that I was having, but I've never had an abnormal path before. So he sent me for an ultrasound. And my uterine lining was super thick. I mean, you know, you're, the texts are not supposed to like tell you anything. And she was like, this is like really not good. - Yeah. - Like very thick. - Right. - She couldn't find my ovaries, like it was a thing. - Yeah. - And-- - That's from PCOS, you said, right? - Like partially. - Well, it's not really 'cause of the PCOS. It's 'cause of everything else, but yes, it is all tied together. - Okay. - 'Cause PCOS, it's a metabolic hormone issue on top of like the reproductive shit. - Yeah. - So anyways, I had biopsies done of my cervix and my endometrium. And basically he thought I was like riddled with polyps. And it turned out that it was atypical hyperplasia, which is just excessive tissue and pre-cancer cells and all of this. And then it was also cancer cells. So pre-cancer and cancer cells. Obviously that was like what I knew at the time when I told you. - Right. - And that was like upsetting enough. He of course told me like a hysterectomy was gonna be the only option, right? - All right, yeah. - And so anyways, so then I was able to go to see a gynecological oncologist at Duke. And she was really good like about explaining everything to me and that it was from what they could see from the biopsies. It looked really like early. - Yeah. - Did you take your phone in the like record while they were telling you so you could like go back and listen? - Honestly, no, but I wish I had because now I wish I had that to go back to. - Oh no. - Because I think I've been in like shock and as much as I'm like hearing the conversations, I think there are things that I'm just like - Are you hearing something? - I'm overwhelmed. I think I'm overwhelmed and so I'm not really like hearing it and understanding it. It was a really long, I mean, I was at Duke for my first appointment with my oncologist, I was at Duke for hours. Hours. And we did more blood work and whatever. And what she explained to me, first of all, they called me young so many times, I was like- - Is she like a young? - You're a young buck. - For a while. - I know I was 40, but we're young bucks. - If I were to be pregnant, they'd be like, you are a fucking grandmother. You're a geriatric bitch. - You're a geriatric. You're hell would have been a baby what? - Yeah. - So, double standard. - Basically, she was like, I think at this point, we can, if fertility is important or if you need more time to make a decision about a hysterectomy, we can do hormone therapy for the time being. So, essentially, and this is tied partially to the PCOS, it's a trickle down effect, right? I have major insulin resistance and that creates weight issues and it also throws your hormones out of whack. So, my body is producing shit loads of estrogen. Then you add on the insulin resistance and the extra weight, well, extra weight creates more estrogen. So, basically, my body is making so much uncontrolled estrogen. It's creating all this extra tissue, which is why I was having so much bleeding and clotting because basically, my uterus was never stopping producing lining and I couldn't shed it fast enough and it was getting clogged and blocked up and all this other. - Right, yeah. - It's kind of the way very like, quick way of explaining it. - Yeah. And so, with the hormone therapy, basically, they would do a D and C and take everything out, send that also to pathology and put in an IUD. - Okay. - And the IUD would help control the estrogen. - Right. - So, it could be, basically, my cancer could be managed but not cured, obviously. Like, ultimately, the only way to cure it is to hysterectomy and then potentially radiation. - Right. - If it's contained. - Right, right, right, right. - So, which is good, right? Because at least it's in a spot, right? - Yes, but that's not where we're at. So, I don't know any, like, really yet. Basically, we did the D and C. I did that last Monday and, like, it's really great. Like, I have been in so much pain on a regular basis and had so much bleeding. - It was nothing poor, you probably. - I felt better following a D and C than I did on a regular basis, like, on my everyday. - Your pain tolerance, so day-to-day, is probably so freaking high that you were like-- - Yeah. - Did you do what you needed to do? - Same. - So, anyways, so we did that. And then, and it was a different surgeon who did it. So, my oncologist couldn't do it until the end of October, so she had her colleague do it 'cause she could get me in faster. She was like, "I really just, I want this to be done "as quickly as possible." So, then, we're not getting worse before we can get this all in. And so, the surgeon who performed it called me last week basically said that it was more, like, progressed than they thought from the original biopsies. And so, she said she got most of the tumor out, but she is concerned about it having spread. And she has concerns about where the placement is. Basically, now I'm just waiting for an MRI. And then, depending on what that comes back as, if the tumor is pressing into my uterine wall, hormone therapy won't work to manage it anyways. And the whole point of hormone therapy was so that I can kind of manage the cancer for a minute, for a year. Usually, it's like a minimum of a year to two years. They'd take the IUD out. I would have to try and conceive right away. And then, following, giving birth, have the hysterectomy. - Gotcha. - That's really the only point of doing the hormone therapy, is that. So, that's where we're at. I have to get an MRI now, like, freaking out, like, last night, I was in a full spiral. And I'm like, there's no screening for ovarian cancer. And I'm just, like, terrified that that's where we're at. It's, like, such a high mortality rate. And I'm like, I think I'm getting ahead of myself. - Don't, yes. Oh my gosh, girl. I mean, I told you at dinner, I cannot imagine. I mean, I think you and I talked last night. I swear to God, every time I talk to somebody, log on to social media, somebody has cancer. - It's crazy. - We talked about it last night. It's so frequent that it's happening. And it is scary. Like, I told you, I can't imagine. I'm such a spiraler that I told you at dinner. Like, my brain would have been, I would have been playing in my funeral. Like, I know me and I'm not trying to be funny. Like, I just. - Oh, I haven't slept in, like, three nights. - I can't imagine. Like, I just stay awake. - Well, let's be positive as much as possible. - And I really am trying. - I know you are. - I know. - It's hard. - But I'm like, I go on TikTok. I'm so sick. I go on TikTok and I Google, like. - Oh my God. - Cancer survive for stories. - Get out of here. I'm dead with you. Get out of here. Stop. - I hate myself. - No, I mean, if that, listen, not too funny, if that makes you feel better and you need to see, like, sometimes, like. - Well, I'm like, oh my God. I was like, she had stage four cancer and she's in remission. - I've got this, girl. Make buddies with them. Okay, but this is the thing. Medical is so advanced now. And hopefully, with yours, like, I told you last month, like, I think being positive is like number one and I know it's hard and you can always cry, you can always vent to me or on here or whatever you gotta do. You can always do that, obviously. But being positive and getting your head and that same, you know, being in that spot of like, you're gonna be whatever it is, right? Worst case scenario and I don't mean this. I mean, thank God your heart wasn't set on a kid but having it taken away is just horrible. Like, someone's taking your right away is probably so hard to process. But at the end of the day, we need you here. You know, we need Spencer on Earth. I told you this. We have a podcast to run. So I'm gonna need you here. - Literally. Well, and I will say like, my, it's, the lights just in. - The lights, that's blink. - The my guardian angels, I think. They're telling you it's okay. - I can't remember if I said it on the podcast or if I said it like just to you, like before we recorded. But I think it was both. Really, like literally like, right? Like what prompted me to finally say like, okay, I gotta just, I gotta stop avoiding the talk to her and get my shit figured out. And like, I realized like, I hate saying this. It sounds so corny. But like, that I did want to explore like my absence at work. So I had, I had a dream where I was told I would have to have a hysterectomy and I woke up and I was devastated. - I think we talked about this on the podcast and you told me that. - I couldn't remember if it was like one or the other. - No, it wasn't because it was literally like, that would be- - Oh, right, I see what you're saying. - I started calling and trying to find a doctor that could see me because I was like, that news would be like horrible. - Horrible, yeah. - And I was like, it made me realize like, maybe I did want to explore the options to like have a kid more than I maybe thought. And I just really like, I feel like my, my back and forth on kids and like that dream, like I really do believe that that's like some sort of kooky banana shit in my head. - Yeah. - Well, maybe it's just subconscious trying to push you. I told you before. - Or it's in like fortune telling is what I'm trying to say. - Oh, okay, I got it. - I'm a clear buoyant. - Right. - So I told you before, I think privately, you and I had a whole conversation a while ago, maybe a year ago and I told you, I actually think Fisher was driving me crazy and I, but I told you I said, kids that I can have them any time. - I did tell you, you can have them any time too. 'Cause you can. - But only on his green days. - No, no, you get them at all days, but I told you that if you have it in your heart, to like if you're open to it at all, it's worth exploring that, you know, because kids do enrich your lives in so many ways. And I don't mean when I say like, at least you weren't dead set, at least it makes it a little bit, I don't even want to say better, it's not better. Having something taken away from you never feels good. You don't want it out of your hands. - And when my gynecologist called me to tell me, which like I honestly, I don't know if I like really should say his name on the podcast, but I would. - He said you love them. - I would scream it from the rooftops. - I think you're a lot to do that. - He called me and he, he's been just so like wonderful and lovely through the whole thing. - Yeah. - But he never did I think I was like a man doctor, go up my cooter, but here we are. But like obviously I got emotional on the phone 'cause he knew ultimately that's where I was trying to go was like figure out my fertility shit. And he, I mean, I was upset and he was like, it's okay. He was like, I'll just sit here with you for a minute. I mean, he was on the phone with me for like 15 minutes while I just cried. - He's a good husband to somebody. - 'Cause that's so sweet. - He's a great husband to somebody. Like best bedside manner ever. 'Cause I'm sure those calls are not fun. They probably dread them as much as you know, we dread getting them. And they wanna like get on and say what they have to say and get off. - And he could not have been less rushed. - That's awesome. - You know? - That's so good. We need people like that. - Yeah. - But when I got off the like that, I'd say for the first couple days, I couldn't stop crying 'cause that's what I was upset about. - Yeah. - I was like, I got, I was like, that's a little cancer, it's fine. - You don't googled for these first of hours. Like I can do this, but I need a baby too, hello. - But that, but it's exactly what you said. It's having the option just taken away from you. - Like you can't even make that. No one wants any option taken away from them, especially permanently. I told you before, even when I was gonna go get my tube tied, like I walked out of there thinking like, I don't want more kids, but to make the choice. - Yeah, the finality of it. - It's such a weird thing. Like why are we like that, but to have it taken away? Like I told you, I'm sure it's just so hard, but is it possible to have like your eggs? Like, I don't know how that works. Can you get your eggs and? - I mean, I'm no expert. - Like can we get to a surrogate? Does somebody else on this podcast want to be a surrogate? - The thing, like, so basically I, 'cause that question has come up a lot with the people that I have told in like my real life is like, well, can you, you know, freeze your eggs? I can't because you have to do IVF for egg retrieval. So you basically have to blast your body with estrogen. Well, too late. - You got a lot of blast in. - My body's already blastin'. - She's blastin' all the way. So do you have eggs now? I'm sorry, I literally don't know how this works. - I don't know. I mean, I'm sure I have, well, I don't know. That would be what the fertility testing was, would be for us. See if your body would make in. - Right, it would look at, is my body even functioning in a way that-- - Going through the motions of each. - Create, yeah, a baby. - There's different types of hysterectomies. I mean, ultimately, if like, I do have to move forward sooner than later with the hysterectomy, or if like, my uterine won't be viable with hormone therapy because of the placement of the tumor, then it depends on if they would take the ovaries or if they wouldn't. My oncologist said there's such a high correlation between earlier death when you take ovaries out. Then when you leave them in, that they wouldn't want to take my ovaries. They would want to leave them. - Why is that? - I don't know. I guess because ovary function has so much to do with like, hormones. - I mean, everything literally connects to the other thing. - Your bone. - I guess your bone density is tied to your ovaries too. Like, there's a lot. 'Cause I was, of course, hopped on Google. I was like, why do you die if you lose your ovaries? - Why do women die earlier? - But I guess if they do like a total hysterectomy, like ovaries, everything, there's a much earlier age of mortality, I guess. - Which is crazy 'cause back in the day, they would just take everything out of you and they called it a day. I mean, obviously, we probably really knew. Like, my mom had a hysterectomy at 24, like all of it's gone because she really, she was that young when she had her hysterectomy. - She had, she and I both have endometriosis issues and she had cyst a bunch. - And she had me and my brother 20 and 21. She kept having issues. So she just went-- - She's so young. - Yeah. - So crazy. - I know, they got married when she was 18. She graduated in June when they got married in September and then two years later, when they did wait two years, look at them. So much work, so mature. - Yeah. - But then she had me and Chris, but she got pregnant with me on birth control, four months postpartum with Chris. Can you imagine? - No. - Get out. When I was four months postpartum, a fisherman was like, now remember? I'm like, don't even say that. I would, no. So me, we're so close in age because of, she got pregnant and wasn't trying. She had a four month old and on birth control. Anyway, she had a bunch of issues. Back then, you just had a hysterectomy and they didn't ask questions. Whereas when I had Fisher at 32, they were like, no. And I even told the doctors all my pregnancy, 'cause they won't do it if you're emotional, like hormonal after. Like, I wanna hysterectomy, they think you're being crazy. I totally get it. - Yeah, I totally, I do, I get it. - But I had already told them. I was like, I'm one and done. They're like, you'll change your mind. And they tell you that all the way through everything. - Yeah, and my doctor, even to this day at my gynecologist, will still go, all right, you ready? No, he is six years old. He's six, that ship has long sailed. Startin' over, I think not. - I don't know if it's in North Carolina, but it wouldn't surprise me. But there are some places, some states where you can't get your tubes tied with, like if you're married with your husband's teacher. - Yeah. - Without you. - I have heard of that. - I don't know. - I don't know if that's here or not. I have heard that. But it's probably in, you know. - Alabama. - Certain states. - Alabama, West Virginia, maybe even Georgia. It might even be North Carolina, let's be honest. - That's what I said. I wouldn't be surprised if it was North Carolina. - I'm not convinced that it's not North Carolina. - Oh yeah, I'm just curious. Anyways, whatever, I'll start going to just jump tied up. - I am going to be fine. I still know I'm going to be fine. I think it's just, you know, not like-- - Process haven't gotten the most ideal news. - No, we're going to stop spiraling on tech. You need to text me whenever you're in this moment. - I really just need to get this fucking MRI done. 'Cause that's really, once we have ruled out ovarian cancer, I'm going to be Gucci. - Okay. - So that's what, we're waiting on. - That is what has me spiraling. - When are you going to have this done? - I don't know. I was expecting Duke to call me today to schedule it and they did not. So if they don't call me tomorrow, some psycho bitch is going to be like knocking on their door. - No, for sure. - That's what I really-- - Yeah. - Especially for peace of mind. Get it now. - That's how uterine cancer, at least the kind that I have, 81% survival rate. - I feel pretty good about those. - Again, if it's contained-- - Feel pretty good. - Don't make me feel better if it's a little contained. 'Cause at the end of the day, like I told you when we went to dinner, the end of the day, the goal would be obviously for you to be healthy and you on earth, right? So if that meant that, get what you got to get and take Fisher by all means. He can spend some more-- - Listen, you're going to care. - I'm going to say this. - And I need none of you fucking bitches to judge me for it. - What? - I've already started looking into adoption and I found an 11 year old girl I want to adopt. - Why would you be judging me? - I'm obsessed with this girl. - Listen, I told you-- - That's my daughter, her name is Viviana. - I love it. - Can we call her Viv? - Vivi? - Yeah. - Love it. - Why do you think I was like, oh my God, her name is Viviana. She loves to read. - Okay. - She loves horseback riding. She can babysit Fisher. - She likes to act and sing. - She loves school. - Is she you? - Hello. - I said she's, that's my kid. So I told you before when we talked about this, years ago, like just adoption in general, not everybody has an adoptive heart and you do. That is a very rare thing. Not everyone can take on an adoptive child. It's very hard to do that. And I think that's awesome that you have that type of heart and you also wanted to have, you've said before, you wanted that little over the hump of the baby stuff. Like you want a friend, we need a babysitter and a friend. Can she come over here and start recording with us and babysitting my kid? - She's 11, so like how old is Emily? - She can drive. - Yeah, how old is Emily? - Charlotte's around 11. She's 11, 12. - Okay, built in friends. - Easy, easy. Okay, so. - Robby was like, you need to just like take a beat. - You tell Robby that he is staying his lane for now. - I'll kick you out and bring Vivian. - Vivian, listen, me and Vivian ain't standing for that, Robby. Your daughter relies on you, pal. Start ordering snacks. He's like, "Hey, are these for?" You're like, "Vivianna." - Viv. - Vivi said these are her favorite snacks. - She doesn't want the regular goldfish. She wants the rainbow goldfish. Mind your business. - Dad. - Your business. - And so that's why I know I'm gonna be fine. I just need to get, if it is what it is, I'm going to be fine. I just need to make sure. - We're manifesting this though. You're gonna be fine. - Yeah. I just need to make sure it is not ovarian. I like, last night I was convinced that I had a lot of different cancers. I said my butt, I stood, stood in my bedroom. - Oh my Lord. - In my prom underweight. - Oh my God. - Robby was like, "What's wrong?" I was like, "I'm riddled with cancer." - He's like, "If you do not shut up, Vivianna need to, "you can't be like that." - He was like, "No, you're not." I was like, "Yes, I am, you're not even now." I was like, "There's things wrong with me." - No. - I am making jokes because I have dark humor. - I think that's okay. I'm a joker too. And people are like, "Well, okay." I'm like, "Sorry, sorry you don't read that, but." - So anyways, we've taken a step back at work. We are just living our mediocre, we're living our orange lives. - Yeah, so I told Wendy when I got here, I said, "I'm about to be the most granola bitch you know." Because I was reading all about like oncology nutrition and which diet. - Oh my God. - Is it alkaline diet better? - Do you know who you're talking to? - Or is it like hello? Let's say animal-based diet better, you know? There's different schools of thought. I spent an hour on my insurance website figuring out that yes, they do cover dieticians. So I found a list of dieticians that specialize in oncology. And I'm like, "Girl, I'm here for that. I love that stuff." - Girl, you know. - 'Cause I need to do it. - I will do it. - You should. - That's where I'm at. If I need to cut something out, if I need to do something, I will do it. - See all those years you made fun of me for eating cardboard 'cause it was getting really, you know what you mean? It was a great issue. - No, I've always been like that, but I haven't been rigid. 'Cause I am the same way you are. I will do whatever. If you tell me something's good for me and will make me healthy, I will do it. I just have never been straight. - That's fully a reason to actually follow through. - To commit to something 100% and never let anything, like I'm like-- - 'Cause there's a major benefit that could come especially with your situation. 'Cause like with indomitriosis and PCOS, there's so many, we've talked about that before. - Yes. - Like even indomitriosis stuff, there's certain triggers and all that crap. 'Cause not people telling me that your butthole can connect, I'm like, "Can you not tell me this, please?" Like, "What?" I'm like, "Keep that information to yourselves." - Great, I mean, I do have that. I'm like, I don't need to think that my butthole was attached to my uterus because the scar tissue did that, but there are diets. So like, I'll go down these Pinterest rabbit holes of like googling diets and crap, you know? I mean, it can lead down a whole path, but I do think that's great. I think it's good to know your body and if it can help you and make you feel better, ultimately you're gonna feel so much better when this is all said and done. - Yeah, I've been telling you to go to the doctor for a solid two years. - Well, and that's really my PSA. - Is going to the doctor. - Don't blow it off, go to the doctor because had I gone to the doctor when I started having all of these problems, I probably wouldn't be in the position again. - But listen, do not, I know, and I do that with my dad a lot of me and my mom, we'll talk about it randomly. It is such a, I just had this conversation the other day with the client 'cause she lost her dad. - It's such a tricky road to go down because-- - The good of could've, should've, I know. - 'Cause I'll do that sometimes too and I'm like, if we would've made him do this, if we would've made him, like we let him be in charge of when he went to the doctor and he was like hiding things, had we done that. Like I even asked my mom a few months ago, like do you think like if we would've made him do this, like you can't do it, it's just like we, we just, no, you can't do that. You can't think, oh, if I did this year ago, everything happens for a reason. - Yeah. - There's a reason why you found out now. There's a reason why you're looking at Viviana, stay off of TikTok spiral. There is not a reason for that, it's such you being bored. - Get off of that, okay? - It's what I lay in bed and my brain starts wandering and I'm like, no, don't do that, you text me. - I go on TikTok and I'm like, great, I looked up like endometrial cancer and then it was like a few videos of like, how I dealt with my endometrial cancer stage one and it's like bitches dying or how my endometrial cancer turned into ovarian and cervical cancer and I'm like, no. Okay, now I'm spiraling and then I go, you know. - Don't do that, that's how it works. - No, text me next time, we'll chat it up a little bit. Like kind of like what I did when the ghost came in my room, remember that? - Yeah, yeah. - We'll talk each other off the ledge in between levels of candy crush, I'll get back with you, I'm hooked again. It's really bad. - You would fucking candy crush. - God man, and I'm like paying money to, - No, you're not. - Sometimes, just a little bit, just a little bit for like, actualize, but then sometimes I'll set my date back so I get five lives again and I'll set it back up. So if I don't reply, it's just 'cause my phone is messed up. (laughing) - And here we are. - She's hacking candy crush, that's sick. - And if that's against the law, don't turn me in 'cause I will start, (laughing) these are the spirals that I go on and that's also how I'm gonna end up in jail because of it. - If these are, don't say it out loud. - Like they pulled candy crush from your phone. - No, oh my God, I can't, it's freaking, I've spent money on candy crush. - Candy crush, my dude. - Candy crush, my dude. (laughing) - Oh God, cancer crush, but yeah, so don't do that again, stay off of that. Google like singing stuff like I do sometimes, like how to be a good singer, like we're just singing from the diaphragm. - My algorithm doesn't want me to pick up cancer talk because it hasn't changed, you know, with as many searches as I've done, which I don't even want me to see. - 'Cause it's just gonna be like a list of other searches. But so I'm like already feeling a little bit better in terms of like not working around the clock all the time. - Hey, girl, I told you you got to have a life back. - Me and Spencer, I had this whole conversation with her in May and-- - I would not have been able to handle the last two months, otherwise. - Well, I told you in May, when you were like drowning at work, I was like, I had to come to Jesus meeting with you. I was like, you have, this is before all this crap. I was like, you have to figure out your life and being happy, it is not fair for you to live your life the way you were and drowning. Listen, I get it, we have to work and pay bills, but like sometimes you gotta come by and you gotta be happy because you were like running yourself on the ground. I told you, you have to find happiness and pour into those cups. Because imagine if work stayed what it was. - Yeah. - What would you have done? - No, I literally couldn't have done it. So I'm glad for you two that you're finding like a little bit bits and pieces here of stuff. And you're about to kind of fall, you're fall girly, you're about to live your best life. It's about to be dark, it freakin' pop a clog and since we're gonna be thriving. - I know, I can't wait. - In all the rain we've had, so I'm sure you're-- - It's been glorious. - You know, it's so crazy. - I can't love it. - The only person I know that thrives in a rain, like days and days are probably due. - I really do, I can't-- - Meanwhile, I'm rockin' in a chair, pullin' my hair out one by one of the place. - 18 games, candy crush. - Great, all I'm doin' is candy crush and spendin' on the money. - What level are you on? - Well, that's the thing. - Oh boy. - So I was thousands. - Okay. - And I played every day. - I don't even know how to play candy crush. - Oh girl, I like the-- - I don't know what it is. - Well I have candy crush, the regular, and I have candy crush jelly. Jelly's my favorite, yeah, right. So jelly's my favorite. And I'm only on 778, you know why y'all? Because my candy crush will rule now. It locked me out one time. When I was thousands, levels, thousands, okay? And I was like, no, that's when your heart skips a beat and it's really goin' fast. You're like, no, no, no, no, I'm just gonna log in here with Google. - Please, why doesn't it save? - I guess when I first signed up, a long time ago, I'm talkin' years ago, girl, I was in Florida. And I also used to play bingo when I was in Florida. (laughing) - Like at the old folks' house? - No, on my phone. - Oh, okay. - Actually, I think I did it on iPad. I can't remember. - I can't even-- - I think I did. Jules are back. They're letting us know that I'm doing the right thing by playing candy crush and you're doing the right thing. - Or into devil. - Stop, no, it is not. - It is not. - It is not. - In that in my house. - Toot toot. - Bye-bye. But now I'm only on 778 because it locked me out and I was like, no, I'm just gonna log in. It was like log in with your Google, no account. I'm like, okay. So then I shut my phone down. I remember this. This is a core memory. This was like a year ago. And I was like, no, you didn't. - Oh, then I boycotted. I said, I'm done with you. You will never get a single cent of anything else that I ever do again. And I put it down. I walked away cold turkey for a solid three months. And I've picked it up here and there when I'm bored. Well, then a couple months ago, I was bored. And I started candy crush and I'm addicted again. - So I can only judge you so much because I play a game called Wordscapes. - Oh. - And I'm like on a team and we do tournaments every weekend. - I know damn well you're not ignoring my text messages because you playing Wordscapes with your team of people. No, actually, I mean, I haven't been a very good teammate 'cause I haven't been doing it for several weeks. - 'Cause your own freaking TikTok doing the most terrible stuff to yourself. - I am. But if you've never played Wordscapes, you don't know the addiction that it is. If you're verbose, if you like words, if you're a Wordsmith, it's real nice. It's real fun. - I don't know that I'm a Wordsmith. - It's fun. You would like it and there's like animals. Hold on, I'm gonna, I'm pulling it up. You can get coins. - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. - Okay, but I was on level 5,444. - Okay, see that was-- - So I also understand the addiction. - Yeah, that really crushed us when you're high up and I don't have to redo it again, but luckily it's been so long, I don't remember playing these levels. But did you play Farmville, what you wanna call Farmville? - I had never played those games. - I was not into that crap. - I've never been, like there's very few phone games that I actually been into. - I'm not a game person at all. Didn't we do an ad for a game one time or a guy asked and we were like, "Ugh, we don't wanna do it?" - We've been asked, I don't think we-- - I'm not a game person. I'm never in-- - I like board games. - Same, oh I like a board game. But I'm not a digital video game, I like Mario Kart, but I don't do video games and games on my phone. Candy Crush is the only thing that I do, but when I tell you, the other day I thought about you because I laid in bed and my screen time popped up and it was showing my weekly averages on TikTok. It was eight minutes, a week, a week. - That's it. - That is it. - Oh my God, I have to look. - Oh, I, so I've been doing more videos and then my Instagram went down to like 30 minutes a day 'cause I've been Candy Crush and when I've had my phone in my hand, I've been Candy Crush. I'm just like busy, I'm just too busy. - I don't do anything else. - Okay, wait, so to find your usage you go to settings and then screen time. - Oh, yep, there it is, okay. - All right, let me. And then see all apps and activity. Oh, TikTok doesn't even pop up for me for like any. Oh, two minutes today on TikTok. I've been on two minutes and that was when I posted a video of my own tonight. Okay, what is your-- - This doesn't even make sense. - It just starts over on Sunday. So it just started over yesterday. Every Sunday. - Oh, it's 'cause I was up till 3.30 scrolling on TikTok. - What is yours? - Well, it says my screen time for today is eight hours and 27 minutes. That's impossible. - That's no way. - I was at work all day. - Yeah, that is kind of crazy. - But it does, I'm wondering if it's gotta be like, if I set my phone down. - See, that's what messes my phone up. - I had turned it, the setting off where it turns off. - That's how it is, yeah. - That had to be it 'cause it says, I have an app that I use for work. It says I was in that for an hour and five minutes. - Yup, and you can look up your pick ups. You can see your pick ups of how many times you pick your phone up. But it's the same, like my majority of the day is like my salon, 'cause I leave my salon schedule or open on my board, but I'm doing my color so I can see it. - Yeah, it says I've spent an hour and 45 minutes in messages. - Yeah, lots of 56. - No, I haven't. - Yeah. - Nobody has texted me today besides you. - Yeah. - Mine's the same way. - And then TikTok, it says I've been on TikTok for an hour and 29 minutes, which is 100% accurate. And you can see on the little blue bars, it was all from 1 a.m. to stop it. - Mine was two minutes at 6 p.m. 'cause I posted my video. TikTok is still hard for me to learn. I don't love the feed situation. I just don't love it, what's wrong? What? - I should be ashamed of myself. - What is it? Wait, hold on, how do I see what the dates are? - At the top, right, let me look. - No, it just says. - Do you get the text message every day? - Oh, it was, oh, Sunday counts as the first day. - Yeah, it starts over. - Okay. - And then you get-- - So, between Sunday and today, TikTok is my most used app at four hours and four minutes. - Stop. - TikTok, oh, I'm at 15 minutes for yesterday and today. 'Cause I posted a video yesterday, I think, too. - Instacart, oh my God, not me being a grandma. Instacart, CapCut, Facebook, camera, messages, Safari, hope where you are online, my church, Amazon, Google, y'all, in an Instagram. - I had no idea that it counted your pickups. - Yeah, you can see the pickup. - My daily average pickup is 94. - Mine's 166. - Okay, that makes me feel better. (laughing) - Yeah. But I'm like, what did I do yesterday and today? - Oh, me and Mike were doing that frame. I recorded a lot. My messages and my, hold on, where is it at? My messages and then the video is all mutton, a lot. Where did I just see that? That's so annoying. Man, they tell you everything, don't they? - They really do. - Kinda scary. - Ouch, you're real good. - They do. You can't get away with nothing anymore, but any, oh, camera, that's what it was. 10 pickups for cameras, 60 pickups for messages, 13 for mail and 11 for Safari. Daily average is 166. - And it's? - And it's, yeah. Oh, 41% from Los Angeles, whatever. Anyways, hi all, we love you. (laughing) - All right, we're talking about Montauk. - Yeah, okay, on to better things. So, Montauk, we hate Whitney, let's just say it. - The worst. - The absolute worst. - She thought she could come on this show. She 100% thought she was coming on the show and gonna be the star. - Oh, for sure. - The breakout lead. - I don't think so. - The leader, the leader. Get out of here, I wanna be the leader. In her hair, that little flip-by-flip. Like, Marsha Brady, not Marsha the father. - The hair, her clothes, that one get together where like everybody's dressed up and she's in her fucking pajamas. - I can't. - Weird. She dressed me crazy and really thinking she was like, about to be the queen bait, queen bait. I'm like, honey, no. Taylor, I want to really like Taylor. - Okay. - I don't dislike her by any means. I just, there's like this draw that people have to her that I don't really understand. - Yeah. - And I felt that way when I first saw her on TikTok too. Like, she had this crazy following and was gaining popularity so fast. And I was like, I don't get it. Like, she's annoying because this is the same person. So, and if you're a TikToker, you're gonna understand what I'm about to say. - You're getting the rundown about the backstory and then I'll tell you why I like her. So, give me the rundown of her. - So, reputations. - She's had like many lives on TikTok. - Yes. - And a lot of people are just now making-- - And scandalous, scandalous. Not like a little bit like a little doop, you know, like she's been tied up in some pretty crazy stuff. - But a lot of people are just now like putting together. She's the same person that did all these like viral things. They like, people are thinking it's like all different people and they're just realizing it's her. - As far as like the scandal part of the virus? - No. - Like, okay. - None of them tell me that. - So, she, there was a period of time where there was her and these two blonde girls, at least one of them was in the swinging thing. - The soft swingers. - Yes. But they were pretending that she was 50, like a 50 year old woman and she was their mother. - Okay. - And who, Taylor was 50? - Yes, for months they made these TikToks and it was, that's all it was, was about her being their 50 year old mom and how good she looked and this, that and the other thing. And people believed it. And it was like a whole thing, right? So if you remember that-- - Were they trying to be for real? - That was Taylor. - Or was it a joke? Or nobody knows? - Nobody, I mean, nobody knows. I mean, obviously they don't, I don't think they were pulling the wool over people's eyes because clearly she was like 21 at the time. - Right. - But there were lots of people that actually believed it. Like, what's your skincare regimen? - So there was that. Then there was this TikToker who kept posting videos about her haunted house. It was Taylor, same girl. - Okay. - Like she would set up hidden cameras to catch like the ghost in her house doing things and she would like manufacture doors opening, cupboards, opening-- - Well she just wanna go viral and get attention. - Yeah, okay. So same girl. - Okay. - There was one other one. - Oh, then, 'cause her hair is so long, right? Her hair is her like claim to fame. - Okay. - Well she went viral and really ruffled feathers with the fact that she said she only washed her hair in the bathtub. So she said you can't like rinse your hair. So she would take all her hair. She would fill her tub. She would dunk her hair and she never washed her scalp. She would just dunk her hair and yeah, do everything in the tub. It was like, I don't know, it just like pissed people off. It went viral, she has like all these like viral things that have happened to her. - Okay. - And then obviously what really like made her infamous was the fact that she came out as like a quote soft swinger. - Right. - And she's Mormon, right? Like that's like not that some of the Mormons are supposed to be doing. - Right. - And then her husband who was also well known with her like in her TikToks, divorced her and it was like a whole thing. - Because she reminded me, she ended up, they got a divorce because she went a little further than the soft swinger, what was deemed soft. - So basically-- - Which is stupid to me. Like you're crossing lines regardless, like what? Get out of here. - There was a, basically there was a group of them. It started off as just her and her husband and her best friend, her best friend's husband and they would swap. - Okay. - But they, yes. So they would swap and then they met another couple and it like turned into this little group. I guess it was like four couples and a fifth that would just come and watch. And at these like, they would do like cabin parties where they would rent a cabin like that's where they would all swing but they would soft swing. Basically it was like everything but, right? Like third base, okay? - Right, yeah. - Were juniors in high school. - Right. - And so-- - Which is so weird to me. Can you imagine your husband in the next room when you're like one over there doing? - Absolutely. - When if they did second base. No! - First of all, I'd be in prison. - Right, like how could you even be turned on if like, that is so bizarre to me that people to each their own, you go girl, you go girl if that's what you like but I just, it's so bizarre. - I'd be like, you can sit in a corner and do nothing while I do things. - I'm gonna play, I'm gonna play Candy Crush and you're gonna be quiet. - You're gonna shut the fuck up. - You're gonna run my feet. They're like, what's y'all doing there? - He run my feet. (laughs) - He run my feet while I play Candy Crush. - Oh yeah! - It was great. - Are you kidding me? (laughs) - You're like, that's all I wanted in mind. - So anyways, they, one of the husbands told Taylor that he was like in love with her and she, but it was her best friend's husband and so that like, but she was developing feelings for this other husband like actual feelings. - So messy. - So messy and then her and this other guy they were having like an emotional affair and then one night they did sleep together. She apparently, she refuses to call it assault, but she was not able to consent in the way that she has described the scenario in like interviews that I've heard. - Meaning like she was drunk or drunk or allegedly? - A little drunk. I mean, I think it's not alleged. - She was very, very drunk and he reiterated, could not consent. - Oh, okay, I got it. - But won't call it for what it is. - Okay. - That's, you know, her prerogative. And so I guess it came out then that she slept with him. They went all the way, they broke the rules and so her husband, yeah, her husband filed for divorce and then shortly after she met her, new boyfriend/now ex-boyfriend and-- - Wait, who was that? - The one on the show that she has the baby with? They're broken up as of like two days ago. - Shut up. What the fuck is his name? I can't think of it. - Hold on, it's one of those corn ball. - It's such a bad name. - I know. - And I hate for something so gross. - Hold on, why can we not remember it right now? That's so annoying. - Oh, she untagged him, I can't even look at his little, hold on. - Dakota, duh. - Thank you. - I said Cade. - Dakota. - Same thing. - First of all, that is a girl stripper name. - Dakota-thaning. - What? - Or Dakota-thaning. - That's what I think about. They broke up two days ago, how do you know? - Oh, is that? - It's all over, yeah. - I have not. See, look at me dropping the ball. I need to pick this up. - Here I was, impressed that you were on top of mom talk. - Listen, it hits me a couple of days later, but I was still in on it. - You were, you were, I'm proud. - So anyway, so then she meets him, and then a few months into dating him, that's kind of when the show starts, but I guess. So they filmed the pilot, she was really going through it. - Yeah, she was. - They filmed the pilot of the show, and then she was arrested for domestic violence. - Yes. - And what you see on the show, which was so great, you watched it play out, that's why I like that show. Not to cut you off, but I feel like it was kind, when people are like, oh, did you like it? I'm like, the one thing that I really like about it, and I don't know that it's gonna be like this going forward, it was like the, how the housewives used to be back in the day before it was so fabricated. You saw it kind of real time play out. They got in at the right time and started filming. So things as they were happening, they were able to record that raw emotion each thing, and it wasn't produced yet. - Episode two, yes, the pilot, Stacey was over, and we turned the pilot on, and we turned it right off, 'cause it was so bad, so corny, cheesy, and I was like, these girls are fucking insufferable. - Yeah. - It's because they filmed the pilot after, so far, no, so far before, and so, - So what was after the scandal, but it was before her arrest and all of that. - The drama unfolded, yeah. - They told her that she, they were gonna move forward with the show without her, I guess, after the-- - Little did they know that she was gonna be the show. - Well, but they weren't even sure they were gonna do the show, but then they were gonna do the show, but she hadn't been, like, kept in the loop, so it was like a whole thing. She talked about it on the vial files podcast. - Oh, I saw his little, I didn't listen to him. - Basically, she said that she felt like producers were kind of waiting to see how public perception was gonna play out for her. - Yeah, I'll say that. - But then, and then she got pregnant, so like, literally the second episode picks up, and she's very pregnant. - Right, because there was such a long gap between when the show got picked up. - Yeah, it's 'cause I was like, wait, what? The first one, she's like walking around crop tops and little rips up at her. - And they weren't even like officially dating them. They were like, just like starting to hang out and stuff. - Yep, that makes so much sense. - There was a very long gap of time in between when she was picked up. - I mean, she's messy for sure, but the one reason that I like her is because I feel like again, this is just me watching it, and sometimes I'm a little dumb and naive, I really feel like she's sorry for her stuff, and they write her ass so hard, and she's like, I genuinely feel like she's being sincere when she's like, I'm really sorry, she takes the blame for everything, and I'm like, girl. - If you took Taylor from the pilot and earlier, I would tell you, I have no space in my life for that person. - Yeah. - The Taylor that you see in episode two, "Onward." - Yeah. - And what I've heard on podcast recently, "Different Girl." - And like the ending of the show, like when they were coming up to last season, she's like crying, she just, she really seems conflicted on like what to do, and I don't think her and Dakota are good together. Obviously, nobody does. - So toxic. - It's so terrible, so I hope she really has-- - He's also got like, the whole eyes, real bad. - The whole eyes. - God, Cade. - Like he looks-- - Like he needs Dakota. - He looks like a raccoon. - Yeah. - He looks sick, he doesn't look healthy. - Yeah, he probably is. Like something, yeah, but they're not good together, and I really do feel like when you saw her like crying and upset, it didn't feel showy in this. I just feel like, I feel bad for her 'cause the girls were like leaving her out of stuff, and then Whitney obviously just being the twat-waffle that she is. I'm like, why do you have to be like that? Because I do feel like Taylor tried to like own up to her mistakes and be like, okay fine, I did this. I was young, I was stupid. She really seems like she's trying to grow from it. Like you can't hold the girl. Yes, she's made mistakes. I think as a whole, the thing that I kept thinking about was like, I have, like my uncle is Mormon, and I mean, they really take a look. - Like who you say that? Like he's like a pedophile in prison. - No, no, no, no, no, but my uncle is Mormon. - Well it's really my dad's step. It was my dad's step brother, but then our grandparent's divorced. It's a long thing, so he's hardly my uncle anymore, but I just remember growing up, I was Baptist and they were Mormon, and they always treated us just like we were pieces of shit, really, and they believe that like what you have here is like what you had, like you had to have the best of the best, you know, and they had Lexus and they lived in the baby house. - Yeah, they believe whatever you have here is what you're gonna have in the afterlife. - And that's what sets you up, and so they live their life like that. And so it's so crazy to me for the Mormon people that I know in my life to be that way, to watch a show like this where I'm like, y'all are literally drawing couches and dropping F-bombs and like swing it, like it is so mind-blowing to me that this is like where it's at. Like I imagine the Mormon church is like, no, like this is not a representation. And I don't mean to be a prune. - I mean, it's only the show, but-- - The soul like housewives definitely got pushed back with all of their shenanigans and shit. And here's the thing, I try really hard in my life to not shit talk religions, right? - I understand that if you are Mormon, that is what you know, that is what you believe in. The Holy Spirit is in this realm. - He is blinking. Every time we talk about something kind of crazy, y'all my lights, I have like two lights in the corners on and they literally, it's like a subtle dim, but like it's not a jarring dim. It's like a boom, you know? - I feel like it's a warning. They're like, watch your mouth. - He's like, look, do you just about to come up power? - I don't know. - I don't know where you're going with this, but watch it. - So like I'm not calling LDS a cult. I'm not doing that. - Right. - There are some characteristics and traits and things I hear about that are a little culty vibes. And I do believe at one point, we did an episode and we titled it culty vibes. - We did, we did. - So I still feel the same way and it's really only been strengthened by some of the things I've seen and heard on the show. And then, so there's two different, and listen, here I am just, you know, free plug. Nick Vile, you're welcome. - We've done this before and he did nothing. - I just so fucking wrote it. - Nick, come on, we love your podcast. You wanna split? - But there's two different episodes that are great if you are into the whole mom talk thing. And one, again, 'cause she's a star, Taylor is by herself and she really goes through everything. And I mean, you wanna talk about being brutally honest. She is honest. - Yeah. - No shame. And then there's another episode with all the other girls. - Yeah. - Everyone except Whitney who refused to do any prep. - She left the group. I'm like-- - With all the other girls. - That tripped me out, so we know people like that. - Sure do. - That would do wink, wink, oh geez. - This person would like, do that. And we're like, okay, you're doing it. So we notice, okay, well we notice, well now what? What do you want me to do? Do you want me to reach out and like try to, like what do you want me to do here? Because nobody cares that much. - That's exactly which one. - And a casserole. So, you know, 'cause she's homesteading now. - But I love that it backfired because nobody cares about you. If it wasn't for the show, nobody cares. So like, you saw your way out and off of our TV screen, I'm good, I'm good on that. Thank you. - Right. - And get your hair fixed. - See ya. - Ugly. Get some layers. - She's a hairdresser too. - Shocker to no one 'cause that's so ugly. I don't even know if that means sense. - It's shocking to everyone actually. - Actually it's shocking to everyone 'cause it's so ugly. - But in that, so in the episode where it was with everybody, the girls were like, they were saying some shit that was off the wall. Like I guess Nick was asking questions and they were good questions and they didn't seem too prime. - Like questions like what? - Like questions I think about Mormonism or like - Surning the religion. - Yeah, like certain, fair. I mean, after watching the show. - Some girls would start to answer and then other girls would like stop them from answering and they'd be like, it's not secret, it's sacred. Like apparently that's like a thing that they say. Like you can't talk about your religion but you just drew your kouti on a board and put glitter on it. - Get out of here. - And one of the girls was like, she said I'm mentioning conversation. She was like, yeah, like I'm worthy. And he was like worthy and she's like, I'm worthy for the temple. Like she could go into the temple. The other like people can't. They're like not worthy. - It's not saying when they have the garments and stuff. And right. - Whack a doodle doo. I'm sorry. - Because it doesn't make sense. - I don't understand. - No, and there's not that much gray area there. Like if you have your boobs hanging out, like why are you supposed to wear garments? Like what are we doing? Making different rules. Like I can't with that. That's why religion is a bad name and a lot of things because you see this type of behavior and you're like, wait, what? But then my favorite, it reminded me of such like a middle school house, probably were like, oh my God, she has alcohol. She, I cannot believe she brought alcohol and a man would do to the pool. She brought a Mountain Dew. Oh no, she didn't. And alcohol in the hot tub. Like I can't believe she'd do that for a moment. I'm like, what is happening? Because they were like flipping over that, which I get was a respect thing that I didn't want that. But again, it's so fascinating that you've got like swinging going on. You've got making out with the other girls. And then you've got like whose husband you would do. - Jessie, having her labiaplasty and then showing all the other girls for vagina. - But then we're going to draw the line on certain things. Okay, because we're Mormon and we, oh, that's sacred. Like nothing, literally nothing else. It's been sacred, honey. - I, yeah, I listen. - It's just mind-boggling. - And it's not just, and listen, before anybody comes at us, it's not just Mormonism because Christians do the same thing. Catholics do the same thing. Like every religion is guilty of it because, you know, whatever, but. - Hey, listen, as long as your heart's in the right place, you do you girl, but it is a wild. - But I do like Taylor and I do hope that they do another season. And I really hope it's more of like, I think it's a very fascinating life. This show to me has the potential to get really messy. I told you, I logged out of the housewives when it gets to be so chaotic and fake and it's too much going on. And then it's every is a dinner party and someone's screaming at this for dinner. It feels so fake and fabricated where this felt very real. And like you watch things happen kind of real time as they're putting out. - It did feel very, it was almost a little too much of like, it felt very juvenile. - Oh, totally. - I understand these are-- - They're 22. - You're 22. Except for Taylor, she's 30. - Only a couple of them though. - Yeah. - Really, I mean, you have Layla, who's the youngest at 22. Who's the one that is battling the illnesses? Oh God, why can't I think of her name? So brain dead. She looks, she looked like she-- - Makayla? - Wasn't Makayla. - Makayla. - Yeah. - Makayla is 24. - She didn't, she wasn't there a bunch, I feel. - She was in a face that I remembered. - She's been, she looked like she wasn't feeling well in a lot of scenes. And then she talks about how she's been like battling like some illnesses. And so, she isn't feeling well, clearly. - But does Jessie and Demi and then-- - But Jessie's 31, Demi's 28 or 29. Taylor is 30. - But why are they all like Sarah Knuth and Holly Woodward? - Can I tell you, it took me a solid couple of episodes before I could tell everyone apart and know their names. - I was like, they look, they reminded me, me and my client were talking about that. We're like, God they look so much like them. Like it's so wild. - Well, I'm pretty sure those girls are Utah Mormon girls. - Oh no way, yes. So they all go to the same place. - So please don't be offended by my, you know, questions and confusion. - Right. - Of Mormonism, no, I mean. But it's the look, it's the Utah girl. It's like a name, it's like a thing. - It is a thing. It is a thing. - Yeah. - But as a hairstylist, how do you feel about it? Tell me. - About what the hair-- - All of it, all of it. How do you feel? - I mean, this is about the infamy of Utah girl hair. - Well, this is the thing. I think long, listen, if you like long hair and extensions, I love that for you. I think it's a little tired. I think as a whole, it's time to hang up the extensions. I think we're done with that part. I think it's a lot of hair. I think they're very tired. It's outdated. It really is. As a hairstylist, I'm like, it's really, and I tell my client-- - I just think so much work. - It's so much work, but I tell clients all the time, if you're my client, you know, I've heard, you've heard me say this to you. Long hair takes a lot to look stylish. It rarely looks stylish. Shorter hair has a style to it. Long hair-- - Unless you're Whitney. - Right. (laughing) Sadly for her, unless you're her. The little curl at the end is just not doing it. But it just is plain and blonde, and it can be pretty hair, but it's not like stylish. It doesn't stand out. And that's why I'm just over these long extensions. Like, please can we just give it a rest? And it does seem like there's patches of people that are like, nope, I want 24 foot extensions, or 24 foot. - 24 foot. - You know, but I'm being crazy, but you know, to your butt crack. Like, if you shower and when your hair is wet, and it's, you gotta move it out of the way, so it's not in your butt crack. - Spread your cheeks. - Let's cut it. - That's just my hot take. And I know, listen, but at the end of the day, if that makes you happy, and that's what your wallet can afford on that shampoo and conditioner, then go off, girl. - Yeah, it is beautiful. Like, when it's done nice and whatever, but too much. - It's too much. - Okay, there's a lot more that I want to discuss about mom talk. I think we take it to Patreon. - Yeah. - And, 'cause we need to do a few episodes of that. So how do you feel about later this week, maybe? - We can do it. - Or we'll do a Patreon, and we'll finish our thoughts on mom talk. - For sure. - One more thing, but before we let y'all go, have you watched the monsters, the brothers when on Netflix? - Is that the about the Menendez brothers? - Yeah. - Not yet. Y'all, me and Mike have been watching it. - It is a lot. - It is good. I remember hearing about it. For some reason, I thought it happened five years ago, not in like 1996, but that's fine. Not good at math. But there is one scene in there when the boys go in and shoot their dad. It shows way too much for me. Like, way too, I told Mike, I was like tossing a turn. I couldn't even, I wish I would have known it was gonna be really graphic. I was like, I did not need to see that. It's just wild to me that these men are, I don't even know. I don't even, it's good, but I don't know. It's very disturbing to me. I'd be curious, like they just show a lot? - Uh-huh. - Like of the gore? - Yeah. - Ooh. - It's a lot. I don't wanna say it on here, but-- - Okay, yeah, no. - It proceeds with caution and it's early in there. - The ancestors told me all I needed to know. - It's just a lot. I don't know. - I wouldn't like that either. - I'm not a gore person. - Me either. I love true crime. I'm super interested in shit like that murder or whatever, and I find it fascinating, but I don't need to say that. - That's how I was. I told Mike, I was like, you know, I really didn't wanna see that. So anytime they would reenact a certain scene. - Especially when it's like, mm-mm. And this is gonna sound weird. I would rather look at like actual crime scene photos than watch like produced fake video of like reenact. - A crime scene photo doesn't bother me. Even if it's like a bloody one, but this was like super graphic. - Beaking of crime scene photos, and I cannot believe that I never brought this up. - Did you ever see the leaked photos of Gypsy Rose's house and her mom? - No. - Oh girl. - I gotta see if I can find the link. - Okay. - When I tell you, they're the actual crime scene photos. I don't know who leaked this shit, but you see, I had no idea that a dead body that's been sitting there. - Not me like, oh. - Oh, like that. - Oh, the gore. (laughing) Do you see the link face? - Well, either way, if y'all watch it, it is a very fascinating story, and I was curious as to your take on it. Just foresee what caution, whenever you see the boys, you'll know when it's about to happen. Turn your head if that's not your thing, 'cause that's not my thing. But it's a very wild. It's very graphic. I am a prude. - I love y'all. - I am a prude. - Yes, we love you. We're glad to be back. - Yes, thanks for loving us. Honestly, me and Spencer were very, like, we were feeling very loved, and we appreciate it. - We were. We felt special. - Yeah, okay. Love y'all. - Love y'all. - Bye. (upbeat music) - Thank you for listening to this week's episode of Basically Famous, available on YouTube and anywhere. You can listen to podcasts. We'd love for you to subscribe, rate us five stars, and leave us some words of affirmation. And don't forget to call or text the hotline at 919-867-6776 for your chance to be basically famous. - S-O-X-O. - Fall into big savings. All in the King Supers app. Get delicious Kroger pasta sauce or pasta for 99 cents each with your card. Then get flavorful large avocados for 99 cents each with your card and a digital coupon. Shop these deals at your local King Supers less than five miles away or tap the screen now to download the King Supers app to save big today. 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