Through, With A Splash Of T
One-On-One: Cass' 30 by 30 Part 2 | Through... S1 EP11
It's like my yadda yadda yadda yadda, where is yadda yadda from, please tell me somebody else invite me I will cheer you on like damn I actually don't really like this girl you can just tell when you say something and people will just are fucking with it so you're like okay whatever most things aren't death and I'm gonna let you know right now right now I'm not strong enough for that ooh this is one of my favorites you don't know what you don't know so you don't know that you don't know it but you don't know I didn't know but now I know hey y'all welcome back to through with a splash of tea a podcast where we either speak to brilliant people do this thing one on one or have best friend chats with my best friend tea I'm your host Cass and let's get right into it so today we're going to continue my 30 things I learned by 30 list I already did the first six in the last episode so if you haven't listened to that yet then you should go listen to that but I'm going to continue I'm going to do a couple more probably like five or six more and then I'll continue in the future with a part three and then it'll probably take like two more parts maybe like two more okay God whispers before he screams heed the whispers basically red flags exist so pay attention to them in relationships in work your workplace with your kids like red flags are a thing in all aspect of life so pay attention to them that's all because a lot of the times we'll let red flags go let red flags go let red flags go it's not enough to say that there are red flags no you have to pay attention to them because they're important so yeah just pay attention to red flags on all on all spectrums on all aspects because they don't only show up in relationships I want that to be pointed at as well okay number two most people project due to insecurity ooh when I like really like I'd heard that a lot throughout like my 20s but it never really stuck but when it actually when I was like actually able to understand that that is actually the case like most people are simply projecting it's not that you can't do it it's not that you might get in trouble it's not that it's too dangerous literally that person was simply projecting life gets so much easier when you realize that that people they're not telling you that you can't do it they're telling you that they believe that they could never do it that that has nothing to do with you so when you tell somebody like yo I have this idea that I'm la-ra-da me and this da-ra-da I was telling myself it like cats you have to stop saying it's like my yada yada yada where is yada yada yada from oh please tell me somebody knows if you are being told that you cannot do something or that something is too difficult for you or too dangerous for you it was really like if you really like done your research it is not too dangerous and somebody tells you that they are simply projecting they're just projecting they believe that they can't do it so they're they don't think that you'd be able to do it don't listen to them don't you're not them you are not them so don't listen to them do not listen to them most people project because they are insecure so they will project their insecurity onto you like oh I'm gonna try and run this marathon Billy's like no you can't run a marathon how are you ever gonna run a marathon you takes you forever to run a mile you'll never complete a marathon yeah that's because Billy believes that he could never run a marathon that's cool Billy maybe that's your case but I'm gonna run this marathon so don't let no don't let people change your mind it's because of their insecurity you never know Billy might be traumatized by marathons because of something that happened to him in the past am I Billy I won't confirm or I won't confirm or deny being Billy when it comes to being traumatized don't get me wrong I've I've never told nobody they can't run a marathon you okay if you think you can run a marathon you definitely can I don't give it yeah you can I'll be you invite me I will cheer you on but um running miles has traumatized me and I got traumatized in elementary school and one day I will share the story with you guys but for today we're gonna move on we have to I'm getting hot moving forward um if you do it genuinely you have nothing to worry about ooh ooh and tell me this ain't true because I know I know y'all know that when tell me like I didn't even talk for instance like when you lie about something and even if it's just a white lie even if it's okay okay okay okay your best friends boyfriend texts you hey yo Sarah I'm about to propose to Brittany I need your help for any of the proposal you go crazy oh my god you want to do that I'm so excited you've been waiting for this ready to go uh uh uh ready to go so it's the day of the proposal it is the day it is the day it is the day and Brittany hits you up and is like oh Sarah um I'm about to come by your house and pick up these jeans that I wanted to grab real quick I'm about to come pick them up and your frantic because yes you told her that you were at the house but you lie and said that so you're not at the house but you're about to be at the house and you'll still beat her to the house but you're sweating because today's a big day you have to beat her to the house in order to remember the lie that you're telling her that you're going to next and you're sweating and you're running and you're all because you had to lie don't get me wrong I'm not saying you shouldn't have lied but I'm saying the turmoil the term oil the stress the running around this palms being sweaty that comes from you having to lie but if it's a regular Sunday and she hits you up and she's like hey I want to run to the mall are you home you're like no not home but I'll be there in five oh all right I'll be there in ten I live further from you all right great hang up fine I'll set like you know it's an easy experience because it's just a genuine free flowing regular conversation but once a lie or once something non genuine is added into the mix it becomes this big rigmarole this running around this heart racing this even if it has nothing to do with a place you're supposed to be at even if it's just a conversation that yo you just lied real quick damn I gotta make sure I remember that lie for if she asked me about it later I don't forget it don't know if you do it genuinely and honestly you'll be fine there's nothing to worry about there's no palms being sweaty there's no running around there's no trying to mask this or that there's just genuine honest conversation and that's how it should be that's like the easiest way so if you do it genuinely you have nothing to worry about and that's even with like favors and like and just like walking through life like if you do something with a genuine heart or I'm doing this out of like because I genuinely want to her because I genuinely believe in you I'm making this because I genuinely love you it gets you further than trying to oh I'll be diabolical and I'll make her her favorite treats and then she'll fall in love with me and then I'll research about everything she loves and then I'll know exactly who to be for her and oh and then two years down the line you're like damn I actually don't really like this girl like she's actually not really my person yeah because you didn't want to be genuine and your way to attract her and your way to get her you have to be genuine like it's just so much easier you don't have to be but it's way easier oh this next one I say a lot I don't say to people a lot because people don't like it I can just tell you know what you can just tell when you say something and people just are fucking with it so you're like okay whatever all right this is one of them most things aren't as serious as they seem people are dying zoom out it's so fucking true it's bad but it's it sounds bad but it's true most things aren't as serious as they seem people are dying zoom out that doesn't mean a lot of people receive that as my problems aren't big enough no bro I'm not saying that I'm saying that if you zoom out of your current problem it will show you that zoom out will show you how small that problem can be in that can allow you to be able to tackle the solution that's what it means zoom out bro zoom out realize that this problem did not consume you it did not engulf you zoom out see it as the spec that it is and then you'll be able to attack it you'll be able to devour it you'll be able to it'll be easy for you you got this regardless you got it regardless you got it if it's a divorce if it's a if it's a passing of somebody if it's a heartbreak if it's being fired if it's trying to do this same program or test for the seventh time and that is the issue no matter what it is zoom out and you will be able to attack it but as long as you allow this problem to steer you and be in control you ain't got it you won't have it you won't have it zoom out most things aren't as serious as they seem zoom out some things are massive but you still need to zoom out to be able to digest it you have to digest it and then attack it and break it down you can find the solution to anything but you need to be able to like break it down and the easiest way to break down something that you feel like has swallowed you is to become larger than it is to zoom out oh i see you you're actually kind of small and then you can attack it some things aren't that deep most things aren't that deep most things aren't death most things aren't death and as long as it's not death i think i think i think you got it and that's your death as long as it's not your death you got it so even if you're dealing with somebody else's death and it feels like i cannot get through like i'm not your husband your child i pray i pray i pray about that if i if i end up changing my mind and decide to procreate i pray to god all the time that he doesn't make me ever have to experience that like i i'll i'll let him know i'm not strong enough even though you might see that i'm strong enough to deal with it i'm not i'm not i'm gonna let you know right now right now i'm not strong enough for that but i if that were in my path i would be if that were in my path i would be strong enough to deal with it the only thing that that stops you is your death that's the only thing you can't you can't is a matter that you can't get bigger than that but anything else zoom out and it'll be easier to attack and i'm not saying that you can attack it in in a day or an hours but just you heading towards the solution that's enough that's enough so most things aren't as serious as they seem people are dying zoom out okay the next one oh this is one of my favorites you can legitimately do anything you want in this world if you decide to focus on it oh my goodness that if y'all don't get that that is one of my favorite like ideals and like life lessons and y'all don't even know me like hello like i feel like all of my one-on-ones have had like this underlining aura that like literally you can do anything that is literally that is what i believe or what i'm what i believe to be my purpose now it's to like let people understand like i didn't realize okay i didn't realize how many people like doubted themselves or like didn't understand like how much power that they have so many people don't understand the power that they have and it's insane to me so like i need people to understand that that's why i started this podcast for people to learn and understand that knowledge is what elevates you but you already have so much power inside of you and you literally just need to focus on whatever whatever it is that you're passionate about and you will succeed the end focus on it be consistent with it and you will succeed but the focus typically nudges the consistent the consistency so like if i'm focused for example like i'm focused on this podcast like right now this podcast is what i'm most focused on so i consistently will post i will consistently mark it i'll consistently um record for future episodes i'll consistently do these things because i'm focused on this this is my focus this is it so anything you decide to focus on and like it could be anything and in like when i say anything if you're a gamer focus on that that can be your path that can be your career if you want it to if you're a shopper focus on that that can be your path that can be your career personal shopper if you like to do your own makeup but i don't like to do anybody else's doesn't matter focus on that that can be your path that can be your career just focus on that and you'll figure it out later focus on whatever it is that you're passionate about and that can be your career but i heard somebody saying it stuck with me on the podcast i was an older gentleman he said um not everyone's passion should be their career and i don't know i don't know that's something that i'm working on because i don't is that like is that true like i don't know but there's a reason that it stuck with me and maybe it stuck with me because it's such a juxtaposition of what i believe because i think everyone's passion should be their career i think everybody should get paid for what they love they should get paid to do what they love like that is what i believe if you love gaming you should get paid for that if you love shopping you should get paid for that if you love um building mud pies outside you should get paid for that and i think that in 2024 and maybe i'm i'm not crazy actually this isn't crazy no i think that in 2024 moving forward there will be an industry for everything and so not and but so why not get paid for doing what you love and why allow somebody else to just do that you can do that too you don't have to be in that office even though you're you've been in that office for 26 years you don't have to continue being in that office if you love knitting if the only thing you want to do is knit if while you're in that office all you think about is knitting then you should be knitting all the time you should just be knitting and you should get paid to knit that's what i believe but him saying that like your passion shouldn't always be your job like that stuck with me and i don't know if it stuck with me for a reason or not but i'm working through that anyways we're gonna move forward um so the next one is trying to understand the cause will get you much further than judging the reaction yes yes trying to understand the cause will get you much further than judging the reaction i'm not saying the reaction is bad i'm not saying that you should not react but i'm saying there should be more than simply reaction you can react to married joe and married Anna now being together fine but there is so much value in yo joe what happened one day man i just woke up and i was unhappy and i didn't know that that could happen and i didn't i didn't know that i would even have a wandering eye i love my wife but it just for snowballed into something else and something else and something else in hearing that you might have been like whoa i didn't know that one day you could wake up and fall out of love with your wife i need to make sure that i never i never i never that never happens to me but the only reason you got that nugget of knowledge is because you had the conversation with joe like yo joe what happened maybe you did judge him maybe in the break room you were talking a little shit but you still came to him and in a space of trying to understand like yo like what what was going on there he taught you something he taught you something me and one of my closest friends one of my closest friends melanie um we we were like like thick in like we're not having no kids like we're not having no kids like we are not interested in having kids at all and then this girl tells me she's pregnant i'm like yo so happy for her but then i'm like we go out to dinner one day i'm like yo man like what happened like what's going on i was ecstatic ecstatic for her regardless but i was also like sis what what we doing because we was just like on the same boat like we don't want kids like we just gonna be like us and our husbands like we don't want kids she was like cass i literally woke up one day and was like i want a child and i looked at this girl and she was like yep and i was like okay but she taught me that day that that can happen my sister she didn't want kids didn't want kids didn't want kids she was like cussy i woke up one day and i realized that i love my husband so much i would love to see him pour that love into our child bro when my sister said that to me that is the day that it solidified to me that bro like no decision you make is it's that in stone melanie already told me that she woke up and one day had it had the the kid bug my sister told me that she loved the man so much she just wanted him to see her love their child him love their child bro and i learned these nuggets from not simply judging oh y'all said that y'all didn't want to have kids y'all now y'all just leaving me behind but asking them yo like what happened and they so and i was like oh my god that's why that's why i now i'll now try and say um if i continue down this path of not wanting to kids or not wanting kids or um if i couldn't um i don't know if i don't if i change my mind about not wanting kids now i i like to say that because before he's like no i don't i don't want kids but now i'll say like i don't want kids right now like right now i don't because these girls have taught me i've learned so much from just those two women by asking them and by understanding the cause versus simply judging the change and that's it that's it and you can learn so much and you and you can even be like oh i didn't cast i didn't know that you how could you not know that but there are things in your life that you currently do not know but you don't know what you don't know so you don't know that you don't know it but you don't know i didn't know but now i know now i know now now i know so again trying to understand the cause will get you much further than judging the reaction okay i'm going to do one last one and that's going to be the last one for today so your presence is part of your power and some people simply don't deserve it oh beautiful chef's kiss i think for me oftentimes i didn't believe simply removing myself from from situations was enough um punishment for people is that crazy isn't that crazy it is i'm letting you guys know that now removing yourself from situations is a lot of punishment for people like imagine like a friend of yours well people everybody's like i'm independent now i don't need nobody but imagine a friend of yours like a significant friend of yours simply removing themselves from your space and you never hearing from them again that would most certainly affect you most certainly you're going to feel that especially if it's a good friend that's why and that's why i try and be such a good friend i try my best to be a good friend the best way that i know how because when somebody loses me you're going to feel that i'm going to make sure you feel that you're going to feel my presence so if you invite me out i'm going to try i'm going to do my best to try and show up if you text me an idea i'm going to do my best to try and help you get to the but i'm going to do my best to be the best friend that i can be because one that's an easier way to live and two when if you do me greasy when i dip out i know i'm i know that it's your loss and not mine that solidifies it to me that it's your loss and not mine so your presence is part of your power and some people simply don't deserve it some people will show you time and time again that they don't deserve to be in your presence and you'll be like oh no give them another chance get a no you're powerful you're powerful don't surround yourself with sharks don't surround yourself with snakes if somebody shows you who they are you need to believe them believe them and act accordingly and in order to act accordingly you need to know you're worth you're so powerful your ideas your presence the people you bring along with you does that person deserve your your other friends does that person deserve the people your your does that person deserve your family that person deserves to hang around you since they give mother your brothers no they don't they don't deserve that and they also don't deserve your power like it's not that they simply don't deserve the people that you that come with you they don't deserve you that's part of your power that's it there's billions of you on this planet that person can go be friends with somebody else they don't you don't need to be friends with them they don't need to be in your circle they don't deserve you and if they don't eat all right i'm gonna end it there i'm yeah so we are what was this two four six seven six four seven thirteen so we're 13 in um if i count it correctly we're 13 in and yeah so i will continue this series that was part two of 30 things i learned by 30 i'll continue this series um for you guys and we'll get to the full 30 but i really like doing this because these are like have been like my staples and like i said i think i said this in the last episode these have been my staples probably from like 25ish 26 inches when i started being like all right like there has to be like some like boundaries here i was just yeah i was like this is getting a little crazy like what are my walls gonna be and i think that making these like boundary points like little checkpoints help me stay stay like focus and and just move through life i don't know just keeping god number one or move through life as best i can i think if you do good then good things come to you that's what that's what i i believe and hopefully i'm right because bro i'll just be pissed if i find out later that i could have just been living life mad recklessly and like doing whatever i want and oh oh my lord and still enter the kingdom of heaven that'll piss me off because i'm like damn i could have been sitting all day like i could have you know i reeled it in by 30 but i could have been crazy you know so so bad no so oh my goodness i'm just kidding uh i i love being a good person even though it's so hard i just feel like it's so much harder being a good person than it is being a bad person but that we get more perks in the long run all right i've rambled enough i filmed this all in one day in one sitting you guys i've been talking for an hour and i'm done i'm done all right i'm out thank you for listening if you listened thank you for no i did that backwards thank you for watching if you watch thank you for listening if you listened please like comment subscribe thank you thank you thank you um and yeah thank you so much i am winded y'all you guys have a great rest of the day and yeah bye 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