The Season of Self Love
Finding Closure and Moving Forward After Betrayal with Dr. Will Washington
Welcome back to The Season of Self-Love podcast! In today’s episode, host Nyomi Banks continues the Healing Beyond Betrayal series with special guest Dr. Will Washington, our beloved resident therapist. Together, they dive deep into the vital topic of finding closure and moving forward after experiencing betrayal. Dr. Will shares his expert insights on the emotional, mental, and spiritual steps required to heal and reclaim peace after the pain of betrayal.Nyomi and Dr. Will discuss how to envision closure, the importance of boundaries, and the process of rebuilding trust in yourself and others. Whether you’re healing from a personal relationship or emotional trauma, this episode offers practical advice, compassionate wisdom, and the support you need to keep moving forward.Key Topics:
- How to visualize closure and what it looks like in your healing process
- Steps to rebuild trust in yourself and others after betrayal
- The role of boundaries in protecting your emotional well-being
- Why healing is a marathon, not a sprint, and how to stay patient with yourself
Tune in as Nyomi and Dr. Will share strategies for moving forward with grace and resilience. Subscribe, rate, and review The Season of Self-Love podcast, and stay connected for more episodes that guide you on your self-love journey. Remember, healing is always possible.#Healing #Closure #SelfLove #Podcast #BetrayalRecovery #Empowerment
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-season-of-self-love--6003379/support.
- Broadcast on:
- 26 Sep 2024
- Audio Format:
- other
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Scoop up your favorite bulk nuts, fruits, sweets, and more. Perfect for baking or snacking. Visit your neighborhood Sprouts today to explore healthy products down every aisle. Welcome to the Season of Stuff Love Podcast. I am your host, Naomi Banks. And I am thrilled to have you join me on this transformative journey. You see, every day, we dive into a powerful conversation about sub-discovery, healing, and empowerment. This podcast is brought to you by Axe, Naomi, and elevate me sub-discovery, where we believe that loving yourself is the first step to living a fulfilling life. You can expect insightful discussions, practical tips, and inspiring stories, plus we occasionally walk in special guests who will share their unique perspectives on self-love and personal health. So get comfy, grab your favorite beverage, and let's embark on this journey together. Because it's time to embrace the beautiful person that you are. So let's elevate our lives one episode of Time. Now, let's get started. All right, my beautiful people. Well, welcome back to the Season of Stuff Love Podcast. I am your host, Naomi Banks. And today, we are continuing our journey through this series of "Healy Beyond Betrayal." And today, we are joined again by our beloved therapist, Dr. William Washington, just to discuss something crucial. And that's finding closure and moving on after this trip. But before we bring Dr. Will to the stage, let's take a quick break. All right, this is your "Gurdy Goddess, Naomi Banks" here on the Season of Stuff Love Podcast. And we'll be right back. Hey, my beautiful souls. This is your "Gurdy Goddess, Naomi Banks." And I am excited to share something special with you. Introducing my latest 8-book world book, "Healy Beyond Betrayal," a journey of growth, empowerment, and renewal. In these 55 pages, I offer you insight, heartfelt stories, and practical worksheets designed to guide you on your humanity. So if you experience betrayal or you are seeking personal wealth, this resource is made just for you. You see, it's time to reclaim your power and embrace renewal. So you can get your copy by visiting the Season of StuffLovepodcast.com. And as a thank you for being part of our community, use the code "HealdZeroNow." And check out to enjoy a 15% distance. So listen, bark on this journey together because you deserve to heal, grow, and thrive. Are you ready to transform your pain into power? Join us this September for the 30-day "Healing Beyond Betrayal" challenge from "Her To Hope," starting September 1st. Embark on a journey of healing and self-discovery. Each day, you'll receive empowering lessons, practical exercises, and supportive community connections designed to help you overcome the hurt of betrayal and reclaim. Your joy, don't let betrayal define your story. It's time to rise, heal, and rebuild a brighter future. Sign up today at theseasonofselflovepodcast.com. Washington Wells Institute focuses on healing always. For me, if I look good, then I feel good. If I feel good, then I share the good. If I share the good, then I celebrate the good. If I celebrate the good, then I'll end the good, so I can be paid to be my greatest. But I have to learn the good to be the good. So, what does it take to be the greatest? It's as simple as a free 15-minute consultation. Be kind to yourself and heal always. All right, well, welcome back to the season of the podcast. I am your host, Naomi Banks, and today we are continuing the conversation with Hill and Beyond Betrayal. And today, we have Dr. Will with us, our resident there. Does that happen, Dr. Will? I am so happy and honored to be here. Happy and honorable. OK, I like this, it's age. Yes, how did it bring alliteration back, real quick? So now we're ending. We're nearing the end of this amazing series. So let me ask you a question. Wow. Before what has been one of the most memorable conversations of this Hill and Beyond Betrayal series for you? I think it was when you had me opened up like a can of worms. That was very memorable for me. When you had me out here with Spill in My Heart to all these viewers and listeners, and I never opened up. I'm always like, I keep the profile. And so I think, for me, knowing that we've gotten so close, feeling safe with you allowed me to let the listeners in on-- not only my own life, but just also just seeing me as human, not just Dr. Will, the amazing therapist. No. I hate that. You put that exclamation point on there, poo-poo. Right, it's just really quick. Just had to say that, yes. Yes, so I think I just want to say thank you for just-- and also guiding me and teaching me some things about Betrayal that I wasn't even aware of and reframing my language around it, too, right? Because I have such a therapeutic focus that I think that you brought the real spirit and humanity of healing into that definition. So I really appreciate that. No, thank you. Let me say this about you really, truly. Even from the last few segments that we had, we showed that we had-- you had shared in one of the-- I think we had a question about therapy, the questions of what you-- your therapist, and the way that you broke it down for you, for who-- what you would say about you or with the questions that they need to ask. I thought that was very telling of you, because not only that it would show the humanity of you, you understand? But it's not just the same cookie cutter with therapists, you know, where they can come in and not be afraid to be able to share their story and know that when they come in front of you, that it's not any judgment. Doesn't make sense. Yeah, it does. Yeah, I love the way you said that. Yeah, and you know, that there is, you know, sometimes a wall. You know, I laugh at this a lot, even when I'm talking the past guest. I say, I have no problem with being on the couch on the show. I say, Dr. Will, have me on the couch on the show. And I welcome that, because this is what we-- This is what we are. We are teammates in this game of life that we are playing here. And we're trying to win people hearts for themselves. Does that make sense? Yes, I love that. That's such a great way to say that. I think that you feel that the moment we start doing this, the moment you set it up, you set it up very intentional. And I think that's kind of what this world needs. A little more, a little more intentionality. Yeah. I need to feel the intentions of wellness from others. Yeah. And that's so big. Yeah. Yeah. But again, I thank you for sharing. When we came back for this season, and I was like, Dr. Will, for real, we started off with this. I just knew he was going to make me real. And he was like, oh, you're coming in. You're coming in hard with this. And I was like, yeah. And I was like, you catapulted it. You slingshot it. You put it all back, and you just let it go. I'm like, I thought you're going to do a little soft entrance. You know, just like, hi, I'm back. And you know, it's like, we're going to be trail. I was like, oh, OK. Oh, yeah. I'm I'm diving. I'm a diver. I'm going to get right on in there. I ain't tipping my-- Yeah, it's free diving. You're free diving. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I was like, you went big. I love it. Let's get to the heart. So let's-- right there. Let's get there. And then from there, let's go. I love it. I love it. Like, I've learned to be in the passenger seat with you. I learned. I learned. I'm OK. You're a passenger prince. I'm OK. I'm a passenger prince. It's OK. I'm OK with that. It's my thing. I'm like, are you in the passenger? Yeah, I'm right with you. I just put the window down a little bit. I'm good. I'm OK. All right, beautiful people. Well, let's do this. You know how we always do it. We stand to ourselves before we get into the topic. We have to, because I'm kind of a peer, so I need to kind of ground myself right now. Before we get so, if you are, can just be comfortable right now. Close your eyes. Here we are. Find a comfortable position, either sitting or lying down. And gently close your eyes. Now, I want you to take a deep breath in through your nose, filling your lungs completely. And I want you to hold your forearm on it. Now, exhale slowly through your mouth, letting go of any kitchen of stress. Now, I want you to imagine a warm and soothing life surrounding you with this light. This light represents love, acceptance, and strength. Allow this light to develop you, fill you your heart with peace and resilience. And with each inhale, draw in positivity. And with each exhale, released out. I want you to hold on to this filling of empowerment as we explore today's topic. When you are ready, gently open your eyes and return to the present moment. Owning a rental property sounds like a dream. Collect a rent and relax. That is until you realize how much work goes into getting it ready. First, you need to conduct market research to understand local rental trends and determine a competitive rent price. Then there's cleaning, staging, repairs, and hiring a professional photographer. Next, develop a marketing strategy. List the property on rental sites and schedule countless shows. Oh, don't be as pretense for information. (mumbling) Whew, sound complicated? Runners warehouse is here to take the hard work off your rental to do West. Our job is complicated because it should be. We handle everything from marketing and showing your property to screening tenants and preparing the lease. Our best-in-class property management professionals take care of your property is if it were our own, from rent collection to maintenance coordination, all for one flat monthly fee. Go to runnerswarehouse.com for a free rental analysis to find out how much your home can rent for. Or call 303-974-9444 to speak with a rent estate advisor today. Because from now on, the only thing you need on your to-do list is to call runners warehouse. What's next? At Moss Adams, that question inspires us to help people and their businesses strategically define and claim their future. As one of America's leading accounting, consulting and wealth management firms, our collaborative approach creates solutions for your unique business needs. We leverage industry-focused insights with the collective technical resources of our firm to elevate your performance. Uncover opportunity and move upward at MossAtoms.com. - All right, my beautiful people. Well, welcome back. Thank you for sharing that mama with me. If you're new here to the season set for the podcast, this is something that we do every day, Monday through Friday here just to help center us before we get into the topic of hand. And today joining me again is Dr. Will Washington. Y'all might know him as our compassionate therapist with deep understanding of all of the betrayal and everything we talk about on this show. Like seriously, thank you, Dr. Will. So question, no, no, we're not gonna go that, no. So let's talk about this for you, especially in the field that you are in. How would you advise the approach of helping individual to find closure after we trade? - Yes, one question I love to ask my clients is, what does the finish line look like for you? So I asked that in the beginning of our sessions. So I need to, yes, I do the intake, do my diagnostic, do my treatment plan, mental status, examination, all that, you know, but then I ask, you know, what does the finish line look like to you? And when they answer that, I think of their life in eight different ways. So they might say, you know, I just wanna move on from all this, right? And that's a great answer, right? Like I wanna move on from all this. But I also think of them in eight different ways. I think about what's their physical health, their emotional health, their family health, their friendship health, their environmental health, their spiritual health, their financial occupation, their educational health. I think of what does, how do those eight different ways of living look like across that finish line, right? And I make sure that I get at least five of those in their sentence, at least five. I can get five. We're pretty solid. It's pretty solid. - So as you, and I'm being very honest, as you were saying that about the eight things, and you say, if I get five, then we right there, we good. What if a client come to you and they just don't know, like they don't know, they just wanna move on? And as you said, like what does that look like? What does moving on look like for you? You understand what I'm saying? So even at that moment, how can we get them to just saying, when moving on beyond like I ain't mad at him no more hurt, no more or whatever? - Yeah. - You understand what I'm saying? - Yeah, and I translate that to, let's say I just don't, I wanna be hurt by him anymore. But when they say that, that means that's emotional health, right? So the way that they're dealing with stress is at a very high place. The way that they don't wanna deal with them anymore, that's social health, that's relational health. The relationship with this friendship I'm grieving from, I'm going through is not where I want it to be. I wanna move on, I wanna detach from this. And what they're also saying is internally, I wanna reconnect with myself. - Yeah. - Because they took so long to being something else that they need to find themselves again. So this is gonna be a process, this is gonna be a marathon. I tell people, you know, ego is good for the sprint and not for the marathon, right? - Mm-hmm. - So I had to make sure I remind them, like remember, this is a marathon, not a sprint. So if you're not ready for the marathon, then this will not be effective. - Yeah. - Right. - Yeah, I think we'll just, just living in general, I really do, and I've learned that in the past, 10, 12 years of my life, I've always been a sprinter. I've always been a sprinter. And learning how to slow down and become this long distance runner in marathon has been challenging, but also very fulfilling. So, because I said, girl, you're that shit. You understand what you see? Which you, you know, what you possibly do when you truly go down and you really look at things. And I say this a lot, I know people say, then you say that when you look at things from a different perspective, when you have a different set of eyes, a different pair of glasses, you know, when you're looking at something different, it makes so much more sense. - And I love that you said that because I can tell the difference between someone that is looking with their eyes and looking with their heart and looking with their spirit. I can tell the difference. I can see where you're looking, how you're looking at, 'cause it's the way that you respond to me, the way you value me in your own words. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I get quite a few questions to say, Naomi, why you do this? Am I forgetting, like, why I do what? You know, it's like, why I do what? And it's to know me. This has always been me. It's always been me. I believe that now I think I've had the courage to truly be bold in standing, create a platform, not only for myself, but for other like-minded people that also are using their pain into power and making it a purpose. Does that make it in creating their purpose? - Yeah. - In through their purpose. I think each one of us have an assignment. I think every single one of us in this world have an assignment, but it's up to us to be courageous and willing to go through that, to understand what that is, to look at your different things and different trials and tribulations as gifts, as lessons. And when we truly think about that, like, yeah, if you really sit down and you just went through some shit about three or four years ago, but you're still here, you're listening to this podcast or you're watching a movie or you just visited Dr. Will, now you know he was strong enough to get through that because you're sitting here now. And it's so messed up because it gives us hope. Yeah, it is. Now, what if you really go deep into it and say, "Okay, I'll get there." Let me go back and have a thought as I get there. Now, what was my answer? Oh, now they get ready to show me some tools. Wait a minute, I can sit with that. You understand what I'm saying? Now, I can kind of, you know, from there, but that's when that's where you have to do the work. Ah, yes. Yeah, that's when you have to do the work. That's when you have to do the work. So even though we're talking about this betrayal and we're talking about moving on, the question is, do you really want to move on? Or do you want to just forget? Because I'm going to tell you this, you ain't going to ever forget. Yeah. Even when you got dementia, you ain't going to forget. You don't. And I tell people, I was like, "I'll forget you, but I'll never forget." Like, that's fine. But did you learn the lesson that you need to be with me? That. Forgive and learn the lesson. Because I could still hang out with you as long as, but if I didn't learn the lesson, then I'm always going to be, I'm never going to allow myself to move on. Just that simple. All right, show up and I'll just keep going. (laughing) Yeah, the end. No, but no, but seriously. When I thought about, and I heard your voice in my head, and he's like, "Oh, I can't wait to see how she go in this." (laughing) What was that? What was that? What was that? He said she go, "In this." And I said-- No, no, no. Right, and he got my little retirement, you know, my recovering perfection. Like, damn, okay, he'll put me on a spot. Let me see. I said, "No, I'm not getting ready to do that to myself." What we get ready to do is, how can one move on from this? How can we really break it down to them, to at least introduce them to moving on? Can I say that correctly, to introduce them to moving on? Uh, this, this, I'm gonna give a compass statement. I'm gonna give a compass statement, so they can point north. You have to, I would say, I'd say, you take a piece of paper, and you write this down. You say, "I realize that it was never about me." It's not gonna mean a lot in the beginning. It's not gonna mean a lot during the process. It's gonna mean a lot when you know you got through it. That's when that statement's gonna mean the world to you. We hold so much shame, burden, anger, rage, hurt, pain. And we allow the image or the thought of this other person, or thing to mean so much more than ourselves. That's a lot of energy that was never about you. That's what they were going through. That's what they were doing. It has nothing, they have to forgive themselves. They have to go there. Did you learn your lesson? Did you forgive yourself? Hey, I tried to be who I could have been. Oh, it wasn't enough. Okay. I realized that it was never about me. You can't push somebody else's tornado. You can't. And that's when you truly know that you've let go and moved on. I love that. And why say I love that? Because honestly, it goes back to one of my favorite books, The Four Agreements. Oh, mm-hmm. And you said too. Owning a rental property sounds like a dream. Collect a rent and relax. That is until you realize how much work goes into getting it ready. First, you need to conduct market research to understand local rental trends and determine a competitive rent price. Then there's cleaning, staging, repairs, and hiring a professional photographer. Next, develop a marketing strategy. List the property on rental sites and schedule countless shows. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Phew, sound complicated? Runners Warehouse is here to take the hard work off your rental to-do list. Our job is complicated because it should be. We handle everything from marketing and showing your property to screening tenants and preparing the lease. What's next? At Moss Adams, it inspires us to help people and their businesses strategically define and claim their future. As one of America's leading accounting, consulting, and wealth management firms, our collaborative approach creates solutions for your unique business needs. We leverage industry-focused insights with the collective technical resources of our firm to elevate your performance, uncover opportunity, and move upward at Mossatoms.com. You said two agreements. You said two agreements. It's not about you, it's not about you. In the second one, what's the fourth one? The fourth one is, is that you only could do what you can do. No more, no less. Yes. No more, no less. Yes, and that's in the beauty of it is I've learned for myself that even in my healing process now, I'm learning to love people in their capacity, not in mind. Because I have a very unconditional heart. Ooh, I'm very, I can give you A through Z. But some people go and give you A through G. And I have to be okay, like, oh, you just have to, I have to first accept that they only got G. (laughs) They only got the G, correct, to accept that. Second one, I have to be, what can I do to make sure that I can be okay with that? Yeah. And then how do I learn to love them with that? Yeah. You know, and I don't have to give them everything else. That saves more energy from me. Yeah. Yeah, I like how you said that. Yeah, I like how you said, I really do. I truly do love how you just said that. I think because a lot of times we do get caught up in the betrayal of the action of it. You know, and like I said, well, did you see, what was the gift in it? What was the lesson that was learned through that? Because there was something that was happening in there that you're supposed to pay attention to. Yes. So it was a, did you miss it? It's not happening to you, it's happening for you and with you, if you accept it. Yes. Yes. Yes. And then that's the thing is that are you ready? Moving on meaning, and can I say this, moving on meaning that you have to look at yourself naked, where raw and uncut in the mirror. Yes. Does that make sense? I'm not saying putting any blame on you that the betrayal was on you. But now we have to look at ourselves and say, okay, how would I'm going to allow this to affect the way that I'm living today, moving forward? Yes. So now when you say, I really want to, do you want to move on? So when you say, what does that look like? I like how you hit like different words to different feelings of things in emotion. You say eight different things. Okay, for this, for family, for emotions, for self, for this, how in each one of those, how do you want to move on from that? Yes. And are you ready to move on? That it'd be a possibility that you might not be able to talk or speak to that person ever again in life? That's just fine. So it's like now you will. Are you ready to move on from the betrayal? And it's really scary because your body physiologically, your physiological, your chemistry, you are literally detoxing from what your body is expecting you to do with the way you feel, the way you love, the way everything. Your body is ready, even for the amount of stress that you deal with with that person, you're literally designed to manage with that. So now you're detoxing from that. You go through withdrawal symptoms and we don't know how we emotionally go through withdrawal. Not everybody has the same regimen. That's real. Yeah, that's real. That is real. It was something that I saw the other day. It was a statement that I saw about moving on. I was moving on and doing the work. And saying, when you're in a position where are you more willing to just be comfortable as they are, are you willing to be uncomfortable and move on? Mm. Yeah. Yeah, I love that. I love that. And not to be funny, but I've seen many of my clients who've worked for so long, we were for six, eight months. And then on the eighth month, they're just like, I'm just sick of myself. And I'm like, what? And then they finally realized they've learned so much that they can't learn anymore. They have to do it. They just got sick of themselves. They learned so much about themselves, the educational health. They learned so much about themselves that they just had to do everything else themselves. It's like, I can't learn anymore. I have to do this. And they just change when they put the change in their hands. They put it in my hands. I didn't do none of it. I kept it still. Yeah. And then they took it back and they started doing it. They started doing the work. You know, you know, I'm, I'm mentoring to find out anybody that started with you. They said, even if eight month left came and they come back, have you yourself seen the change in the work that they've done with themselves? Yes. The first thing I noticed, the first thing I noticed is that they're more on time. First of all, two, they actually use my language. So they stop speaking in trauma language. They start speaking in healing language, which is amazing. And so they're expressing themselves already processed. And the third thing I noticed is that when they come back, they correct themselves in the session. I don't correct anybody. I don't say, oh, this was wrong. I was like, let's reframe this. Or let me give you another perspective, but they'll actually correct themselves and then correct themselves in front of me and continue the conversation. And I say less. So when they come to me, they're coming for maintenance and they're coming in for micro adjustments, right? And I love that because the conversation is so much smoother, right? I don't have to sit and think about how they're processing. I trust that they trust themselves, right? They trust themselves the way that I was always trusting them from the beginning, right? And so there's a certain level of self trust that just comes with the level of internal confidence. It's amazing. - Yeah, you know, I love that. I mean, and what I say, because you see them coming in where they don't trust themselves. They trust someone else in it. And you actually watch them as they grow and as they come to truly fall in love with themselves, because that's a part of trusting who you are and what you're doing in life. So just to watch that just evolve, you know, all in front of you, you know, that's amazing. But yeah. - Yeah, and I have one client in particular that they've known me since I was an intern. So like, so they liked me that. I was like, and they just leave, they come back. I'm like, you know, you can get another therapist. Like it's been, you know, like you saw me and I was, you know, they're like, oh, no, you're great. I'm like, that's wild. How you found me when I switched jobs and companies. You somehow found me. And even when they come back with issues, it's not a, I didn't learn enough. It was, I know what to expect from myself when I talk to you. I'm a reminder of what they know that they can get through. Like, I know I can get through it, but when I see you, I feel like I can get through it. - Yeah. - And I'm like, well, when are you gonna look at yourself? Like when you look in that mirror and know that you're the one that's doing that, you should look in the mirror and see yourself, not me. - Yeah. - Right? And that's a level of self-love that they're learning to embrace now. And so they learn the work, now they're learning the ability of self-love. - Yeah. - And that's beautiful to watch that. - Yeah, that's beautiful, that's beautiful. I got a question for you. Okay, this is for our listeners. What are some steps that our listeners can take to start finding closure in their own life? - What steps they can take to find closure in their own life? - I would say, first make the vision of what closure looks like if you had all the power and resources in the world, then give yourself the vision of power if no one would ever judge or shame you for what you had to do. What's the difference? And you'll find the difference in the middle, like how can you find a halfway point, right? That's the first part. So make the vision first. The second part is understanding what the lesson is, right? Write three lessons about this, right? And see, can I live through these lessons? So your goal is to live through these lessons that you wrote. Can you live through these lessons? And then the last part is just going right back to home again. It's just understanding, did I do enough? It's either yes or no. And I hate to make it so blunt like that because the third part is really about having non-negotiables. You had to create non-negotiables for the last part. And was this enough, yes or no? Was this enough, yes or no? Was this enough, yes or no? You have to make your non-negotiables. I will not do this, I will not do this. I will not do this because what happens in the process is that we get tired, right? 'Cause you can burn out from healing. We don't talk about that part. You can burn out from healing. Sometimes you just gotta, you gotta just, just gotta go back real quick just to, ah, and get mad against yourself, right? So it's important to make non-negotiables because you will fall short and you will because you're supposed to be growing. - Yeah. - What are called growing pains. - Yeah. - Right? Owning a rental property sounds like a dream. Collect a rent and relax. That is until you realize how much work goes into getting it ready. First, you need to conduct market research to understand local rental trends and determine a competitive rent price. Then there's cleaning, staging, repairs, and hiring a professional photographer. Next, develop a marketing strategy. List the property on rental sites and schedule calendar showings. Oh, no free to screen time for information. Ranners Warehouse is here to take the hard work off your rental to-do list. Our job is complicated because it should be. We handle everything from marketing and showing your property to screening tenants and preparing the lease. Our best in class property management professionals take care of your property as if it were our own. From rent collection to maintenance coordination, all for one flat monthly fee. Go to Rannerswarehouse.com for a free rental analysis to find out how much your home can rent for. Or call 303-974-9444 to speak with a rent estate advisor today. Because from now on, the only thing you need on your to-do list is to call Ranners Warehouse. What's next? At Moss Adams, that question inspires us to help people and their businesses strategically define and claim their future. As one of America's leading, accounting, consulting, and wealth management firms, our collaborative approach creates solutions for your unique business needs. We leverage industry-focused insights with the collective technical resources of our firm to elevate your performance. Uncover opportunity and move upward at MossAdams.com. It's a growing pain. Yeah. So I think that those are the three things. Yeah. You know, as you said, about healing, about sometimes it can be, you know, kind of draining. I remember one day you sent me a text. I did. Yeah. You sent me a text, and you asked me a question about-- it was actually three questions that you asked. I was like, no, I'm not. One of them said, are you taking care of your mind? Or are you taking care of something today? And I thought that was just so-- that was special. And what I mean by that was special because a lot of times we continue to just keep moving. We're moving, moving, moving. And we never take that moment just to re-adjust ourselves, even if it's for-- when we talk about mindfulness and we talk about meditation. But even in that moment, we're still moving. We're still moving. And we're not reminded of some things that we need to do right here, you know? Yes. Right here. And I just-- that just reminded me for that. And I thank you. And that's why I was like the text by Dr. Will from Dr. Will. I think that's something. And even in your podcast window, you should put that text from Dr. Will. And I'm giving you a new one. That's the new thing. I'm going to start a podcast. If I start a podcast, I need you to be my first guest. I need you to be my first guest. I need to still do that. I need to be the first one. I need it. Yeah, I'm there. I'm there. Let me know. I'm there. All right. I'm there. I'm there. All right. So let's go to our next question. How important are boundaries in this healing process? So first we have to-- we talk about this a while back. Boundaries are meant to protect others from yourself. Boundaries are meant to protect others from yourself. So you don't make boundaries to protect yourself from other people, because then that means that you're putting energy on other people. Put the energy back on yourself. So for me, I call them landmines. Am I in DS, landmines? So when people are walking to me, and I know that what they're doing might trigger me, I go, hey, if you go do this, it's going to really get me angry. Don't do that. I do it before they step on it so that they learn who I am. Because the rule is teach people who you are. Do not let them learn you, right? Teach people who you are. Not let them learn you. Yes. So important, right? And so boundaries are awareness of yourself. What is your limitation in your capacity with the things around you? And so you have to make a perimeter for yourself. What is your emotional perimeter, right? I can only go this far for this long, and then I lose it. So it's important during the healing process to understand your capacity. What is your capacity? What is your emotional equity, right? What is your emotional equity? So important. What is your emotional equity? All right, so I know we talked briefly about moving on. But with moving forward, it can be, you know, like I said, if you're not ready, are you truly ready to move forward? What practical advice can you offer to those who are ready to move on? But I'm sure where to start. The practical version? Give it the Dr. Will version. Yeah, I'll give it Dr. Will version because the practical one was funny. Because I don't want to say that one. The Dr. Will version is move with purpose, not motive, right? When I move with purpose. So you moving on shouldn't be, well, if I do this, then this is going to happen. Well, if I do this, then this is going to happen. Well, if I this, I'll never have to be there again. If I do, you're going to be, you're going to be doing that your whole life. Your purpose is what do I want to be known for when I move on? What do you want to be known for? Well, we can answer that. And when you can answer that, it doesn't matter where you go. Because remember my rule, my fifth principle. Purpose is the human compass. If you stay in the purpose of what do you want to be known for, it doesn't matter who you meet, where you're at. Because you're going to have that integrity. Yeah, so that's that's my thing. So ask yourself, what do I want to be known for? Write that out on paper. Make the three lessons that you learned. And then write your non-negotiables. And good luck. I like that. I like that. All right, so we got a few questions from our listeners. All right, one, they say, how can they truly know that they found closure? Hmm. You ever watch a scary movie? And then you watch it 10 years later, and you're like, I can't believe this thing scared me. You know? That's what it's like when you have true closure, right? Or you broke up with that boy or that girl. And then you look back at him again, the picture is like, what was I thinking? Oh, oh, I still think about what was I thinking? Also, if you have the humility of when you're back in that situation and you have humility, some of the most healthiest people I've ever met in my life have some of the best humility about their own problems and their trauma, where they can laugh and be like, I can't believe I did all this. Just being able to laugh at it now because they realize how little they thought and how much they've expanded since. So being able to go back to that scene or being back in that situation or being back in a moment that might remind them of that power dynamic that might be uncomfortable. Yeah. And having peace in that. Yeah. OK, next question last. How do I rebuild trust in myself and others after being betrayed? Hmm. So to rebuild trust in yourself, you're going to have to learn yourself again. What do I like? What do I don't like? What am I trying to learn? You have to learn to live in yourself again. So that's how you rebuild that trust in yourself. And to rebuild trust in others, it goes back to understanding that you have to love people at their capacity. Yeah. Not your expectation because the truth is that your expectation is boundless because you control it. Right. You know, everybody always says, you know, if you don't love fighting your expectations, you'll never be disappointed. OK, like we get that. That's a cute piece. But it doesn't hold any accountability towards the capacity of what you actually live. If I'm my own world, I have unlimited power because I own my world. So of course, I'm going to be mad at other people because they're not living my world. But what I can do is love you for your capacity. And so when you learn to love people for their capacity, that gives you the boundary to have trust and faith in other people. And be around people that remind you the good part of you. Exactly. And honor them for that and acknowledge them for that. Yeah, exactly. I just want to share this before we leave with the moving on and building. First of all, I want to thank y'all for joining me in this series. This has been an amazing series. And I'm glad we kind of ended it with the moving on, moving on forward. And I just want you all to just be very honest with yourself when going through this journey. Don't be so hard on yourself. They're like, I got to get it right this first time. You understand what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? We are so hard about that. Yeah, we are so hard about that. So if you have to come back and listen to these shows over again, or even that 30 day, that's free. You can go back and get that and do those challenges all over again. There are resources and tools all over the place that you can definitely go that can help you step by step. And then when you are ready to go see a therapist, you know one right here, Dr. Will. And then I'm right here, a transitional life coach right here. And I'm not just saying it's just to plug us in. I'm just speaking real with it. Throughout this series, we had some amazing guests. They're also transitional life coach. They might speak your language. What I do love about opening this platform up for other voices and other languages on here is that I want to be able to cater to whoever stops and listen. You understand sometimes we have first time listeners on here. You know, and maybe I don't speak your language or maybe Dr. Will. But maybe it was somebody that you heard before that was on here, whether it was Melissa or Jesse or Dr. Valenti, whoever. And you were like, oh, that's my language. Then I want you to go and search, go and do the work. It's great to sit on this platform with Dr. Will. And we go back and forth and we talk about everything. Because we're living our lives and we're putting it out here in the world for you all to just experience it with us. But still at the end of the day, you have to do the work. Let's not sit in church. What our Bible is writing down the scriptures and not applying them in life. We have to apply these tools in life and apply the means that they have to be applied all the time, all the time. As he always say when he inhaling always, oh, yes. Yes, always possible. Yes, yes. So I want y'all to be gentle with yourselves because I see some of y'all be writing in and y'all be like, come on, y'all got to be gentle with you. And I'm telling you firsthand. Yes. Really, I'm telling you firsthand. Just be gentle with yourself. This could be such an amazing journey. It is because when you look back on how far you've come, you're like, oh, you did this shit. I love that you said it's OK to do it again. A lot of us feel like it's all or nothing. That's why I don't give homework as a therapist. I give quests because I go because you're going to come back to these questions one day and you're going to answer it differently and it's going to be bigger and better each time you go through it. Yeah. Healing and repetitions. Healing and repetitions. Yeah. Remember this game of life that we're playing right here? We're playing for peace. We're playing for peace and joy. I love it. We're playing for peace and joy. And when you have peace and joy, you just want to share it. You just want to share with everybody. Yeah. You do. You just want to share with everybody. Yeah, like I said, I love this shit. All right. Well, once you've got it, well, a gift is only as good as you give it. Yeah. Yeah, I do. I love this. I love this. All right, Dr. Well, we're here. We are here at the end of it. And again, I thank you. I thank you for sharing such invaluable insights and to everyone listening, I want you to remember that closure is not just a step in your healing journey, but is a strides toward reclaiming your peace. And Dr. Will, do you have any last words on this series here? Mm. Be kind to yourself and heal always. [LAUGHS] I promise I'll try to give him the same more words to now. [LAUGHS] Again, Dr. Will, thank you for joining us. And to all of you that tuned in here. I want you to keep prioritizing yourself in that journey. And don't forget to join us next time for a more empowering discussion. And remember, you are not alone. So until next time, stay loving yourself. Have a good one. [MUSIC PLAYING] Thank you for joining us on this journey of discovering an empowerment here at the Season of Civil War podcast. Remember, embracing self-love is a continuous journey, and we're so glad to have you with us. So if you enjoyed today's episode, please leave us a review. And don't forget to join our community on Facebook at Season of Civil War. Connect with a like-minded individuals who are also on their self-love journey. Now, if you have any questions or topics that you would like for us to explore, we'd love to hear from you. Email us at Season of Civil War at gmail.com and let your voice be heard. So until next time, take a moment for yourself. Today, and remember, you are a worthy of love, joy, and all the beautiful things that life has to offer. [MUSIC PLAYING] Owning a rental property sounds like a dream until you realize how much work goes into getting it ready. Determine a competitive rent price, market the property, schedule the showing, screen tennis, draft at the lease at a recollection, handling and requesting a communication. Sound complicated? Runners' warehouse is here to take the hard work off your rental to-do list. Qualify tenants, check. Rent collection, check. Maintenance coordination, you got it. Go to Runnerswarehouse.com for a free rental analysis to find out how much your home can rent for. Or call 303-974-9444. Because from now on, the only thing you need on your to-do list is to call Runners' warehouse. What's next? At Moss Adams, that question inspires us to help people and their businesses strategically define and claim their future. As one of America's leading accounting, consulting, and wealth management firms, our collaborative approach creates solutions for your unique business needs. We leverage industry-focused insights with the collective technical resources of our firm to elevate your performance. Uncover opportunity and move upward at MossAtoms.com.