The Essential Training Podcast
Ep 37 - A reflection on what we’ve learned so far.
What are some of the unconscious stories we carry around about ourselves?
What are some of the insights we’ve learned after 37 episodes from our various guests?
We discuss the some of the common themes that we’ve seen:
- The ordinary people doing something extraordinary.
- The common themes we've seen in our guests uncovering more of their potential.
- The trailblazers we’ve been inspired by listening to.
- Some podcasts that we love to listen to.
- What we’ve learned so far on this podcasting journey.
We hope you enjoy!
Check us out at essentialtraining.ie, Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/essentialtraining
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/essential-training/
Thanks to our sponsors Fad Saoil Saunas! https://fadsaoilsaunas.ie/
We hope you enjoyed! Speak soon!
Brian and Ian
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
- Broadcast on:
- 26 Sep 2024
- Audio Format:
- other
So I'm just pressed record here, and that's riff on it. You know actually what this could be a really good opportunity for, is a little reflection. That could be our episode today, a reflection on 37 episodes in, how is it going, how are we getting on, what are we getting out of it, where do we feel like the shape is taking off the podcast. I think it's actually now that we press record, that's a really good opportunity to do that. Because as we were talking there, the whole idea of sitting down here was to record our next episode, and also to record a new intro. Because it's been interesting, we've iterated so much as we've gone on, and it's quite polished now. And I've been getting a sense that I'd like to do a new little intro at the beginning, because it's so polished so I'd like to pair that back a little bit. For it to be more conversational, but still promotional at the start of the podcast. And it's been an interesting creative process because, I mean, when we started, it was just me and Cara Cullen, and we just had one microphone we were passing back and forth. And I was talking to Mark Evans recently, who's another coach, met for a coffee, and I was laughing at the jankiness of our first episode, you know how the audio quality wasn't great. And he said, oh, I thought that was a great interview, I've got lots out of it. And it showed to me how it's okay if things aren't perfect, you can still give value, and still deliver value. Now also, Peter Moen said to me straight after that episode, get two mics with it, just so that the sound doesn't get in the way. And I suppose that's where I'm at with our intro is that I want, I think it's really polished now. Now I'd now I'd like it to evolve that it reflects us more. So it's been interesting to progress with this through its imperfection, while it's still delivering value for the listener and for us, because I feel like I'm getting a lot later as well. I mean, the people who I'm attracted to getting on as guests, both for me to interview and for the two of us to interview, is people I think I could learn something from, or we could learn something from absolutely, and would facilitate an interesting conversation. And as we were saying before, I mean, if we think of Susan Dwyer, she started a business out of something she needed herself, women mentorship, who are career focused to a certain extent, and someone she could look up to in business and she didn't have that. So she created a network of women leaders in business who could support each other. And you know, Heather Gordon, who created Trails and Roots, a running company, because she loved going on running holidays. So she wanted to create an experience that could bring other people with her along that experience. And as I say that, that's kind of what the podcast is forming and morphing to be is, I've said this a few times, it's not necessarily learn from us, it's come learn with us. So we get to explore insights that we've had both with ourselves and our clients, and we get to explore the insights that our guests have had that they can share, both in their own lives, and that they can share for other people. So it's being interesting, I mean, it's called the essential training podcast, we've talked about changing the name a good few times to the stories that we've had ourselves. So yeah, it's been a really interesting project that I've gotten a lot out of. And it's been cool to collaborate with you on it. So yeah, what's next? What's next is right, I think just keep going with them, with the momentum and the style, because we're coming at it from a pace of honesty. I feel that we're getting, we're getting good information for ourselves. We're helping people who, as they tell their story, you get the sense of people reliving, shaping, and becoming conscious of their story. For me, what I love being a part of is a lived experience. So that the person who's lived this, I'm recounting it, they can recount the learning. So they're reminded of it. We, as the conduit, the facilitator, the questioner, are learning, and the person listening, learning. I love, I love that style of learning for myself. And I love being engaged in the garden and my bike, cleaning the car, doing the ironing, and having someone in conversation around topics I enjoy listening to. So some of the influencers for us have been Tim Ferris have been very, the CEO have been the high performance podcast, Mel Robbins, Simon Sennick, and the psychology's got it backwards. Coffee for the soul. Coffee for the soul, Michael Neil. And they're all conversational. They're all coming from different angles. But I find interesting. If you just listed out those, they're all very different. Yet they come across hyper, they come across people who are exploring life, living life, and to different degrees are successful and have created names themselves. But that doesn't interest me. I'm not interested in someone famous telling me how to become famous. I'm really interested in someone just recounting a lived experience. So I can hear, so whether that's someone on health, someone on wealth, someone relationship, someone with technique, so Mary and her breathing. Going trailblazing, going sawing, sitting up businesses, collapsing businesses. When you say lived experience, I'm interested in exploring that a little bit. Well, I believe, I believe, I love the emotional. Take Eva. She has a lived experience through music. She's a mom. She's an amazing musician, amazing, amazing talent. And that has broadened into setting up her own business. And she has come to that through living the experience of being a business. So we're talking to someone who's been up, down, and around in a young life rather than someone who has a theory about something. Or who has, you know, who's learned about it and are extrolling the virtue of something. So I'm interested in people who live with it. So take a Mary and her breathing. Mary Thai. Yeah, Mary going from bank managing. And again, being a mom. And I'm jumping around the place now. It's a lived experience of I'm telling you what breathing did for me. And how I lived through it. And how someone told me that when I wake up in the middle of the night that that's a call. So if you were to say what this podcast is, what would you say, based off of what we've done so far? I would say this podcast is ordinary people explaining some of their extra ordinarials. True lived experience. And it's in the context of business, but it's not all about business. It's a life through business. And I see people coming to nutrition. I see people coming to mental health. I see people coming to balance and other aspects of life through business. And that's our prism. And it's lovely to hear if someone attempting something. So the joy of the trial. And what I love about that then is bringing the humaneness with the humanity around the story. So I would love our podcast to be subtitled or titled the stories we tell ourselves is that we hear the story outload. And in that, we hear how people tell themselves the story of the story. And we hear the limits that they face down. We hear the limits they break through. We hear the ceilings that hold them back. And we hear the ceilings that they break through. And I suppose like that's what's, that's what tries me, what you're saying is really bringing a blasphemy there. Because what has inspired me to start this with you is seeing over the years how you've helped people break through their limits. And I'd love to spread that to a wider audience. Now, saying break through limits sounds kind of like a macho masculine, you know, even the term break, like to muscle your way through something. But actually, we have so many internal limits that we tell on ourselves, or we tell to our own teams or our organizations. And with the right questions and when the right space has been created by somebody, for themselves, for someone else, it can foster a real evolution in the person. And if I look back on the episodes we've had so far, Heather Gordon telling the story in the Trails and Roots episode of not stepping aside to let the man run past her. Because he just thought, okay, he's a man, I'm going to let him run past me. And then she ended up finishing multiple minutes ahead of him. And it made her think in her business where she holding herself back or in her life where she holding herself back through unhelpful maybe old narratives, or Mary Fahy doing Wim Hof breathwork with people because breathwork is one of the modalities that got her through a massive transition from banking into health and wellness or through the stress or burnout that she experienced. And my sense, which I think is your sense as well, is by hearing those stories for ourselves and for anybody listening, it can help bring up where we're not listening to ourselves or we could listen to ourselves. And we're really listening to ourselves too much. Yeah. Because of the story we tell ourselves. So I hear what you're saying about the matchiness. I don't hear it as a matchiness when you talk about brain control limits. I hear a consciousness. And that's what I love being a part of is someone becoming conscious of a story that didn't even rise or tell themselves. Someone becoming conscious of a languaging that they're using that's holding them back and in every venour. And it's in the saying it out loud and in the safe space that someone hears it and goes, "Oh yeah, you're not attacking me when you say that. That's actually very good to hear." Someone's telling us abreliantly at times when he has a guest on and gives him a summary of what he's hearing and he goes, "Holy shit." And I love doing that. And I'd like to do more of that as we do more of what I do in everyday life in that. Because very often what's happening from me and one-on-one situation to the clients is someone that's telling me a story of where they're at currently and what they're attempting to do. And I listen and when I say it back to them in my language or what I'm hearing, they're going, "I must be caught." I didn't think of it. I didn't think of the position it that way. But I've chosen to hear it in a certain way and be able to build it. And likewise you hear people say things and you ask them a question, you say it's very interesting that you say in a particular way, "Well, I'd never do that." And yes, the one thing maybe you could be looking at if you want to go in the direction you want to go in. What you don't realize is that you're saying, "I want to go in the direction to the right." But I've never in another particular language you're saying, "I'd never turn the right." And you never put the two together. And that's what I love. And I love that in the podcast. So when you talk about the trail running and like in the trail running, like having to take a break and meeting people on your way of the trail. Oh Lorraine. Speaking of the marathon when someone came up to her and says, "Oh, I feel great." And it was kind of insensitive what she said. Exactly. And then Lorraine the next day ends up running past her because she found something deep down inside her. And these are all things that when you hear it, you kind of go, "Oh my gosh." So that's why I think the story, that's what I love about our podcasts is that we help people extrapolate their story. And we're not looking to be famous. We're not looking to be the number one podcast. No, it's not. To me, I want this to be part of something that we can share with people. And as they grow, we, you and I already know of people who are sharing it with siblings, who are sharing it with partners who are saying like, "I think you could use this." And the fact that it's kind of done and comfortable and easy, they can hear it. And also I think it of all on saying it to the brother. And it's like, "Oh yeah, I can listen to that versus like, what are you trying to tell me in some different accent that I don't understand or or that I think is way above me?" You know? So that's kind of, and maybe we've gone off track a little, but that's what I, that, that ordinariness that is extraordinary. Well, and this is something that a lot of the guests say is, "Oh God, I'm rambling or I've gone off track." And this, what I usually say is, "That's where the goal is." So let's keep exploring that. And yeah, so, so where this goes, I would love us to be, I would love as, as it has done already, to help me when I'm with people to say, "Have a listen to that. I think you'd really enjoy it." And it's not about have a listen to us. It's have a listen to that because the person we're talking about is saying stuff that's relevant to where you're at right now. Yeah. One of my favorite things we're doing is sending a friend or someone I know, a conversation that I've had because often I'm thinking of them when I'm asking questions to our, to our guests, like Irish with Molly, thinking of a friend that is learning to speak Irish. And afterwards, I got to send them a podcast. Because- But this question was for you. Brilliant. But the depth of the, the layers to the conversation in the Irish with Molly and where Molly is going is far beyond language because we all hear that. As in, we all hear like how lumpy I am at language or, "Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed." We had that discussion that long yesterday. Oh my gosh. Like, you know, how long are you going to Spain? You haven't spoken to how long are someone living in a country and they haven't said, "That's one thing. How long have I spoken Irish in school?" And turn off and, you know, you can. And then you hear Molly talk about things like there is no such thing as fluent. And you apply that to any aspect of life. And there is no such thing as the right way to do business. There is no such thing as, like, put my bow on it and say, "It's perfect. It's always in motion." And it reminds me, like, when someone says, people often ask, "Oh, are you fluent?" Or, and it's such an interesting question that people that is asked kind of unconsciously because it's saying, "Are you good or you bad?" Or, "Are you a yes or no? Are you 100% or 0% of it?" And sometimes I get frustrated in everyday language because there's so many of those unconscious things that we carry around. And I was talking to Stevie, our sponsor, and Stevie in the, uh, in the sauna this morning and he was chatting with Caron and we were talking about how when we were growing up and somebody like, "Oh, how's the rugby going?" And you might be standing on the sideline in a cast in crutches. This is how the rugby is going. I'm standing here with you, not on the pitch. And in people's, sometimes language, unintentionally, there's sometimes an unconscious bias of yes, no, good, bad, agree, disagree. And that's where I loved Marley saying things like the fluency, it was an obvious thing, it was fluency because it's kind of breaking down barriers. And then it was funny because my friend sent me a voice note speaking half and Irish half in English, whereas the last three years he's just been saying how frustrated he is not being able to speak the language. There's actually so much in there that when the shackles are removed of good, bad, left, right, not fluent, then, "Oh, I'm free to just make mistakes." And it was amazing to see, "Oh, it's latte. It's yours. The language is there." And I think that's a really good example of what the intention of this podcast is to do is, "Oh, it's in Sahaja. All of it. All of it." And it's the loveliness of the language of psychology's got a backwards are of Michael Neil, where they're awkwardly, blatantly saying, "There is absolutely nothing wrong with you." And people can hear that and go, "Hold on a second. I can tell you I'm diagnosed, or I can tell you that I don't like." Now, that may well be as you're living that condition inherently though. And that's what we're talking about, is getting back into that wisdom and people uncovering that wisdom, tell out themselves, show their brilliance. And I love the notion, and I'll say it again, of the ordinary being extraordinary. So whether it's sitting off the fadsail, or whether it's sitting on the Celtic World Forum, whether it's trailblazing, whether it's even Ash, telling her story in her way and starting a business. And there's so many people faced with the first steps of doing something that can seem just otherworldly. And what I would love is that as we share it, they hear ordinary people. And we're having Fiona English on the podcast next week who's a coach and a keynote speaker. And what I do for anybody, any aspiring podcasters out there, what I found really useful is having a 30-minute call or a coffee or a Zoom call with someone before you have the actual interview. Just to get a vibe of each other and see if it's going to work, and if there's enough there to talk about, and if you're excited, and usually I've got a good gauge then. And I'm excited to have that conversation, because a few of those teams came up that you were talking about. When I think back to the people we've had, Stevie finding this on us, Heather finding a trails company, a running company, Susan with a women's career community, Ava with the Celtic World Forum, Ross with his marketing agency consultancy business, Ava Nash leaving a marketing career to go into consulting, Mary Fahy switching from banking into breath work. There's Ross and agency going into the zone agency support. Yeah, so there's a theme of people taking that leap. And what Fiona was saying, and what Mary Fahy says when she does corporate workshops with breath work, she's going into the likes of AID or Leah Healthcare and doing breath work. Now what she's not saying, and what we're not saying, oh come with us. The answer is to start your own business. The answer is inside you, whatever you want to do. And it might be a small tweak, or you might realize I'm doing actually a lack of good and aren't like great and to encourage myself. The outcome could be many things. What we're doing is bringing a bit of consciousness and reflection to what the person is doing. Absolutely, absolutely. And again, when you ask me what do I want from it, I love to be involved in the thought mix, but also having to be the thought leaders, without having to be smart as people in the room. In fact, it's, you know, plays right into my Bayley week that I don't have to be the smart as person room. And what's Bayley with? Into my basket into who I am and who I am and where I'm right into my field because I don't have to try and be something that I'm really not like. Well, that's one of the things I really love about interviewing people is I have an excuse to ask the really simple questions and follow my own curiosity. And if someone said something like Bayley week, and I can say, oh, can you explain more of that? Because I don't know what it means. And what I'm learning is if I don't know what it means, there's a chance that a portion of our listeners won't know what it means either. And I remember early days in business or in life or in when I was doing my undergrad or my masters being afraid to ask a question when I didn't understand something because I didn't want to come across like I was ignorant or that I was didn't have an experience. And I'm noticing that in business as well, that I have to come up against that barrier because I'm working with CEOs, business owners, leaders in business. But when I ask the question and when I do it in kind of in a smart way, it can unlock a lot in the conversation. But when I'm afraid to ask, it's often a missed opportunity. Yeah, huge. And by reminding me of a conversation, I had this morning up the moment with the guy and we were talking about the ability to ask the question in a way that solicits the answer. And I was talking about it in the context of summarizing conversation when you're giving information. So I'm talking to you in my team. And there's stuff that I want to get done. So if you want to get done and you've come into me in the things you have on your to-do list, and as you're coming to me, the thing is I want you to have on your to-do list. And you leave. And what I have found is that I will ask you, are you clear in what we're saying? You know, am I making myself clear? No, tell me if there's anything and you'll not away. Just as you're nodding now, you walk out the door and you haven't. It's sweet. F.A. about what's really going on. You understand the language. You're as stupid, but you don't know the context. You don't really know what I'm looking for. And I say to the lead in that case, I say to the CEO, the leader, I say like, just before you finish up, get into the habit of asking the person you're working with to just tell you what they're taking from this. Just very simply say, before we break up, what are you hearing? What are you taking away? And generally it doesn't happen. I want people to feed back to me. I don't want to be treating them like children. So you have POS in business asking, am I making myself clear? You've POS in business saying, oh, absolutely, because I understand the language. You've POS in business getting frustrated, the things that have been delivered, and you've POS in business frustrated that you can't make yourself clear enough because I didn't know what you were really talking about. So I love that we have an opportunity to share all these findings with people and that listening to you might hear something and hear someone being clear about that. If there's even this, whatever we're just sharing on saying, like when you break up in a conversation, just ask your business partner, ask your colleague, ask your team lead to just feedback what it is you've taken from this. So I know that I was heard. And that's such a, the way you're saying it is such a respectful, non-patronizing, gentle way of saying it. It comes across for what it is, is let me understand that you understand, or let me understand what you understand and let me into, are we on the same page here? And rather than a yes or no question by asking the person, so what are you getting from this, just so I know what you're getting? What a nice way to, what a nice way to say it. And, you know, we'll have Janet Orman on this in time and we've lined up with the growth pit stuff, but they start with a very simply question at the start of every interaction. It's like, what's the result we're expecting of this? What result do we want to get from this? It's another way of saying like, what do we want from this? It's, you know, have we got an objective here? It's like, what's the result? And again, what I find in this simple discipline of that is that a lot of the time we're together, we don't know what the actual result is that we're looking for. We know what the heading of the meeting was. We know I'm in here because this is our weekly finance meeting. This is actually like, I'm out for a hit here half the time because we don't know what we're looking for over the meeting. And we're all assuming that we all know because we're all adults and we're all, we're all smart people here. What do you want to frustration that goes on? Because someone didn't take ownership of the start by saying what would be a good result of this today? What are we looking for? And so to practice what we preach, what is a good result that we want from this podcast? So we started by saying, we want to get an intro and we want to record a session. No, no, no. What, what from this podcast? Oh, sorry. There you go. That's a good example, isn't it? Of how simple language can be missed and straight? Absolutely. Well, that was just me not listening and you're not going to say a proper name. So what result do we want from, from the podcast is that people, for me, the people will be able to listen to stories unfolding. And here's some of their own story in it, either through the, the happening of the story or the languaging of the story or the behavior through the story or the rhythm of the storyteller, but that it connects with people in a way that they can get meaning from it. And it's not about having to take action for everything you hear, but it's just, it might be confirming for you that, yeah, I'm on a track. It might be reinforcing for you that you're not the only one out there thinking or feeling or looking that way or it might just awaken, reawaken something in you, that someone said, you know, I did this. Oh my god, just walk something. So that's, so the result for me in that would be that we're, we're visibly invisible in it. We're audibly silent in it. So it's not about us. It's not about like, I got to tune into the lead zone because of their take on or the way they'll, they'll have the crack with that. I said, I would like us as we are in our authentic way as a father and son, as someone who I love and adore and think is the greatest thing since sliced bread. But that that can come across in a non, I can, not in a Brady Bunch way, Brady Bunch in the reference Brady Bunch is the American sitcom of the 60s and 70s and 80s, the fabulous family, where everything was brilliant. And that we can show who we are through it as we learn coming from different ends of the spectrum. Yeah, for me, it's those little texts or messages or Instagram messages we get going. I really got something out of that conversation. Yeah. I would love if, when, I don't know, as we've seen already, more business businesses to say, oh, I could really do with the business. I love to continue interviewing people that I look up to in business and life. And it facilitates really cool connections and conversations. And yeah, I'd like to tap into more of you and I and our conversations. And yeah, I'd love to keep growing. Great. And then let's just keep going. So thanks everyone for listening. Yeah, thanks Stevie for sponsoring. I was down at the song again this morning. And yeah, fad say a long life, long life on all his oring and he's developing and he's growing and he's got planning and planning permission and fabulous so that he knew things happening in that. Yeah, brilliant. And for anyone listening that has any ideas or any suggestions, any feedback, send them all into the HR department through Brian and they answer matters. They're complimentary, we might. Yeah. Brilliant. Thanks for listening this week. See you next week. Well, there you have it. Thank you for listening to this week's episode of the essential training podcast with me, Brian Kingston, and my dad, Ian Kingston. As dad says, hope it brought something up for you and gave you a chance to reflect on your own work and your own life. We'll see you again next Thursday. And as always, we're open to any feedback or suggestions you might have, what you like to better, what you think could be better, maybe some suggestions for guests, suggestions for topics as well. So thanks for listening and we will see you or you'll hear us next week. [BLANK_AUDIO]