A2 The Show
Unlocking the Potential of Kids with Autism: Dr. Tasnuva Tunna's Success Secrets | A2 THE SHOW #528
In this episode of A2 THE SHOW, we are joined by Dr. Tasnuva Tunna, an Autism Health Coach, Pharmacist, Scientist, and Founder of The Neurodiverse Nerd. With a PhD in Natural Medicine, Dr. Tasnuva shares her personal journey raising a son with autism and her mission to support other families through natural approaches like diet and lifestyle changes. She emphasizes acceptance over “fixing” autism, the importance of building supportive communities, and highlights cultural differences in autism care. Tune in for practical insights and her passionate approach to helping children with autism reach their full potential.
👉 Website: https://www.autismsuccessacademy.com/ 👉 Instagram: / autismsuccessacademy 👉 For more information, please visit our website: https://a2theshow.com/a2-the-show/
⏰Timestamps:
00:00 - Introduction
05:08 - Personal experiences with her son’s struggles
10:00 - Importance of acceptance over “fixing” autism
15:50 - Societal pressures and need for community support
20:40 - School accommodations for neurodiverse students
25:12 - Role of probiotics and gut health
31:00 - Father's support in family decisions
35:01 - Challenges with partners not believing in alternative treatments
39:50 - Cultural differences in autism care
45:01 - Western mothers adapting new parenting methods
52:29 - Encouragement for parents to test various approaches
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- Broadcast on:
- 27 Sep 2024
- Audio Format:
- other
She's an autism health coach, she's a pharmacist, she has a PhD in natural medicine, she's a published scientist, educator and author, as the founder of the neurodiverse nerd she is dedicated to helping children with autism through early intervention. Focusing on natural process approaches such as diet, lifestyle and the mindset of parents, Dr. DeSnova provides one-on-one coaching to support transformative recovery, aiding in improvements in speech, cognitive and motor skills and communication, empowering children to reach their full potential. There's a full range of skills that she is providing these children with to assist them in becoming fully functioning individuals. Dr. thank you for so much for coming on to the show. So we were talking about before we started recording about my assessment that's coming up for autism and then you were sharing how you're also on the spectrum and how it's a gift for people to find out about it. Could you elaborate about that? Why is the gift to yourself when you find out about yourself this information? It's actually well most of the parents when they get their diagnosis of their child they feel like the world has broken apart or somebody has died. I felt to myself that my son has died because the way the doctors and the medical system they vouch for autism it's like it's a real problem without any solution but I found out that when you know who you are truly that's when you know your gifts and your weaknesses. When you know your gifts you can hone them and bring them to the world and when you know your weaknesses you can you know work through that and overcome them. So it's a real true gift to yourself to know who you really are which was what I give to myself on 28th birthday. I was like I gotta find out what's wrong with me okay growing up I was like what's wrong with me so yeah after that I would say my life took a real big turn after the diagnosis of myself because I was like I now know who I am how my brain works now I no longer be little myself as being the slow person as being the person who would understand social norms as much as I tried my best and I did understand that voice in my head constantly I know who that is now I know so it's a true gift to yourself side and I'm really looking forward to hearing more about your diagnosis and all of that when you're ready for it. It's really nice yeah thank you I appreciate that. Something that that popped in my head the question popped in my head is there's this stigma when people hear about autism that they think that people with autism will tend to have like these gifts of like maybe higher intellect or just capabilities that the average person would not be able to to do because like we have examples of Elon Musk and then you also have from movies you have you know rain man so are these typical of all people with autism or is there other things that they are you know better at. There are lots of other things it's not it's not well the stigma that comes is because most of the kids on the spectrum and when they get diagnosed they are not functioning well that's why they get diagnosed right. If you are doing well in school if you are doing well with education or verbally you are speaking you are understanding your parents you know commands and instructions and things like that you will not be taken to a doctor for a diagnosis. You are only taken to a diagnosis exam and whatnot just because you are not functioning well so I would say a lot the majority part of the kids on the spectrum they're struggling okay so when a parent sees a child struggling to talk struggling to take care of themselves and be the version that a neurotypical age same age version would be that's when the parents the society and they all we all think that it's a problem well I would say it is as a as a mom I saw my son struggle so much he could not stay he could not communicate he was completely nonverbal and then he could not hold on to things he could not play because his muscles have such less of tone. He had a hypotonia he could not chew his food he could not flamestares he would bang his head he would stay up at all ungodly hours all throughout the night so most of the of the parents who are going through this we know that it's actually really hard for the child and for the parents or the family in you know as a whole so that is why the stigma is coming but now that after four and a half years of working on him and he is completely verbal full range of communication alhamdulillah he's eating full range of diet that he was previously not able to he is talking he's going to a public school he's now in grade two he's making friends he's calling them at home he's inviting so what I'm saying is he's just like your average seven year old so for me who is who has who is now on the other side of the struggle I am enjoying my life with him now it's not a stigma for me but the same mom four years ago it was a stigma for me when I took him outside and he was acting weirdly making weird faces and whatnot others will look at him like what the heck why is that kid behaving awkwardly and here's the thing we always as a psychologist I would say Ali would really would understand what I'm saying here we always think that the world is just from our perspective we only see the world through our lens right we usually don't put ourselves in the shoes of others so as a as a mom who's struggling if I see another mother or another person looking at my child like that I would feel angry towards her I would say like oh my god she is not or they're not understanding the new diversity they are not including us but have you ever thought about the other person that for them it's it's not normal they are not used to it they don't see it often so for them it's it's a different thing and for humans we don't take difference normally we like to see things in repetition we like to see things that we know so that we feel confident or we feel like safe yeah that's why whenever we see something out of the ordinary we feel weird and we behave in a weird way so I would say rather than trying to you know feel it like a stigma first thing is to know why your child is having all of the struggles and then helping the child through natural moods to understanding psychology to understanding brain how brain functions to understanding how you can improve the brain function through nutrition through lifestyle changes through proper guidelines and meat-based parenting as well so all of those things are like the five pillars that I always talk about so when you are working on your child on the spectrum the stigma only comes because of the narrow mindset or the narrow approach that you have you might not know that you can overcome a lot of the child struggles and give them a regular life and then it will no longer be a stigma now if I take my child outside any of his teachers they were saying like does he have any special needs I was like well he used to have these diseases and he was like mom are you kidding because I don't see anything there I was like we have worked on those things I'll humble it now we have overcome and then they're like interested what did you do for him then I'm like you know I changed the diet I worked on this gut because the gut is second brain the brain is the first brain and the brain needs a lot of neurotransmitters and that is effectively produced by the gut so working on the diet working on the brain functioning through the gut is what has helped me and what is helping our huge student base alhamdulillah we are working with 54 different country parents from all across the board we have various ethnicities backgrounds so yeah I have seen it work time and time again which makes me realize that autism will no longer be a stigma if a you understand what autism is and b you understand why your child is struggling through certain things and c you focus on those struggles and remove those obstacles yeah does that make sense yes yeah so I had a question for you dr. Justin have been a little bit of a pushback here so I'm about saying getting a diagnosis now that he's 28 and you know getting discovering what he's gonna whether or not he has autism my perspective is that what what benefit does he get knowing that he has autism and autism just spectrum and is it gonna make him more of a victim is he gonna make himself look at himself as a victim I love that question yeah and if so is that a negative thing to get diagnosed well that depends on the mindset of the person that depends fully on the mindset of the person saying what mindset do you have let's see oh yeah what mindset do you have i'm excited i want to like a few people have asked me that question is like oh would you feel bad or like why do you care and so i'm like i just want to know i want to learn it's because like for me it's it's more of like an educational kind of aspect like my mindset is more like the more I can learn the better the better I can become then okay because then I can approach the obstacles that I would see as like because obviously the way I look at obstacles would be different than a neurotypical person yeah but I am conditioned and trained through my environment and my society to look at it from a neurotypical neurotypical approach but knowing this about myself and learning the different approach that I should have would probably help me overcome my obstacles and in a more effective or efficient way I would say maybe it's not like I'm looking for a certain answer in a way I'm just looking for knowing your techniques and methods that I can improve my my lifestyle yeah totally well I kind of halfway agree with Ali about that so I would tell a lot of the parents actually why do you want to get him diagnosed because there's a thing when you get him diagnosed you put a label on him and then you yourself is going to look at your child differently okay so for example if Ira my daughter if she's waking up several times at night my husband sees that as a neurotypical thing as normal he'd wake up at night several times but if Mohammed on the spectrum wakes up the same amount of time he would be like or I would also freak out like why is he waking up so much what is wrong with him is he in trouble is in parallel you see the same kid the same type of kid different approach why because of the diagnosis and the label so there is two things as I was saying it's about mindset for me I have a growth mindset if you give me a problem I'll turn it into a solution that's who I am a lot of the people in the world when they see a problem they see it as a problem as an obstacle and they feel like they don't have the capacity to overcome those obstacles so for them a diagnosis is actually like a victim victimizing themselves oh my son is this oh I am the semi-autism of I have seen a lot of influencers they love to brag that they are having a hard time their son is breaking things and all of these things going on because it feels like they are they are how to say like this like over hyping the whole autism being an autism um drama that's going on yeah and I have also seen people yeah it's a little harsh to say but I have seen so I have seen let's say there are some people because I am also in the social media I do follow months who are on a horse later on the spectrum and then I would see them constantly saying this is hard that is hard this is not working that is not working we are going to these doctors and that doctors and things like that and I would out of love or stupidity whatever you would call sometimes I feel stupid actually I would reach out to their DM and say like have you have you tried working on his diet because or have you tried overcoming the constipation because when your child is constipated he will be angry he will be very very weird because his body is full of toxins right have you tried um you know natural supplement versus the sleeping pills and whatever the doctors are giving and then they would be like yeah I want to learn more from you and then when there is the call set up or when they even even if I even I have offered a lot of massive you know scholarships just out of respect because I would really love to take that mom out of her problem you know not even one person shows up for themselves and the kids the people that we are specifically talking about because they love to be in the victim mindset and they like to calculate that out of you know blowing out of preparation and for us what happened is so far alhamdulillah for the last four and a half years I have been on the socials right and I regularly get the end from mother saying like you are probably one of the very few people I see talking positive about autism I never see you crying and ball in your eyes off and saying things like you might you are having a hard day don't you have a hard day I was like I used to have hard days I know I have overcome them and that's what I'm teaching because I am all about solutions you give me a problem I give you a solution and I do believe as a neurodiverse myself when I knew that I was neurodiverse it gave me wings why because I now know the kind of bird I am and the kind of aerodynamics I have to capitalize on so side you should totally get yourself diagnosed and not feel like a victim because there is a thing there is a Toyota and there is a what is the thing called Tesla okay so the other day I call the Tesla my husband was out in the work I took my kids there the Uber was a Tesla and I was like how do I open this thing because the door handle is a little weird right how do I open this thing so if I had a narrow mentality a victim mentality I would have felt un very uncomfortable with the Tesla I would feel like oh my god I'm poor that's why this Tesla is feeling like a grandiose thing and whatnot what I did very confidently knocks on the door can you please help me open the doors so he helped me I said and my son was so close he is kind of graduate gadget freak so he's like oh my mommy that's so cool I was like yes honey that's very nice and whatnot and then look your Jeep has this so I didn't take that as a how to say like a problem if that makes sense so if I know that this is a diagnosis pit okay let's answer that once went for all you are given a car if you don't know how to drive it what model is it what oil it needs does it need charging does it need oil does it mean what else you are not gonna have the best experience driving that car you better know what model you are yeah that's true I think it maintenance also exactly maintenance exactly maintenance so what would be oil change for a for an autistic person okay so oil change would be to learn to learn so for example for us a lot of even for new typical part all human beings actually if you go inside anatomy and physiology so physiologically we are what we eat okay we are what we eat if you eat nice food you will feel nice if you eat bad food you're not you're gonna feel bad so you have to find out what food you are intolerant in what your digestion system is going through do you have constipation or not because if you have those things you will have brain fog if you have brain fog you cannot think clearly if you can think clearly you cannot act clearly and you're not going to be a success so for your own success you need to know how your brain works how to keep your brain clean to eat cleaner detoxify regularly make sure that you are peeing and pooping regularly make sure you have your supplements and things that you know nutritional values are going on your hormones are in check and all of those things it sounds daunting but i i promise you once you start hitting the road you will get to it nobody runs a marathon on day one or even day hundred that's true i'm not a very picky eater i don't know what you're saying are you picky picky guy um i think i i would say i'm not picking maybe choosy you know i'd be selective with like making healthy choices yes selective in making but it's not like oh i hate i can't eat broccoli you know a lot of times kids with autism they're very like they can't eat anything you know that's what you that is because yeah that is because they have sensory issues so like i said when you go to the doctor saying that my child doesn't eat anything and i have worked with parents whose kids eat only three things only three things or only one thing you smell just video sure yeah only one or two things or three things and those kids are eating a variety of healthy foods now all sorts of fruits and vegetables and grains and legumes and everything how so first you have to understand why is a child picky eater so you go to the doctor's the tell he has sensory processing disorder so how do you overcome that they're no they don't know they will send you to occupational therapy the occupational therapies might try to brush the heck out of your tongue and things like that to make sure that you are desensitized it doesn't work so the reason why you are having certain aversion towards texture some kids love crunchy food they cannot stand wet food they will not eat wet food and they will rather die or starve themselves they will not eat so how do we overcome those things so first of all we understand that those sensory issues are coming because of gut imbalance when the gut is full of bad microbiome those bad microbiomes are created neurotoxins neurotoxins affects the nerves and how the brain and how it perceives taste so which is why you give this child a fruit and he would feel like it's the easiest thing in the world yeah you give him a piece of pizza and he's like this is from heaven mananthalva that is because of the tongue not able to perceive the taste properly so when we work on detoxification okay magically the kid starts accepting new food they show interest and then they start eating a variety of food and working with kids is a lot easier than working with adults or people always older because the more you grow the more your neural pathways of liking certain food is so strong it is hard to overcome those things which is why we say that bring me a younger kid i'll give you a very very successful child in like six months or one year the older but i'm not saying all hopes are lost the older the child is the parent needs to be a little more patient that's it detox for a kid i hear detox usually from my mom she's trying to do detox and she drinks water and keep her well every yeah every human being we are actually detoxing every single day yeah our liver is functioning to detox our low blooders our kidneys detoxing the blood you know kidneys producing the pee the large intestine holding on to foods and whatnot and making the poop so we are detoxing effectively efficiently every single day the thing is with the modern world we have a lot of food that is full of chemicals sprayed with pesticides and things like that which have caused leaky gut in us the way that conventionally food is grown and then we are not working as much as we used to or we are supposed to yeah yeah our grandfathers used to walk from miles to miles and now we use a car to go to the gym to work hard now we pay thousands of bucks to do what we are supposed to do without any money actually you are supposed to walk we are supposed to carry heavy weights and things like that so we are not working hard that's the second problem the third thing is i would say lifestyle so lifestyle wise let's say kids when the kids are fussy the first thing a parent think of is giving them a iPad or things like that guilty of charge i used to do that i stopped it four years ago because i didn't know the other alternative and i myself had a lot of brain fog it's true knowing me then i knew him then i knew what's going on with him and then the whole process of going through everything okay so detox is something that the body always does but with the kids on the spectrum their body needs support their body needs support because their detox systems are poor they are bombarded with the chemicals and things that they cannot effectively clean up fast enough so those stuck chemicals are creating as stocks in us you know very toxic situation in the whole body especially for the nervous system and we know many of the things that we eat are sprayed and then the airy breathing in and things like that the carpet that we are using the paint on the wall and all of those things those are neurotoxins which affects how nervous system works so another question i would think that sometimes comes piggybacking is so do you think if you are working on the brain your child is out of spectrum no no your child doesn't go out of spectrum this is not about curing autism this is about removing the struggles that your child has so that he can be fully awesome autistic person this is not about making the child neurotypical it's about making him the most super neurodiverse he can be and healthy too but it's a struggle because like let's say side only eats chicken nuggets all right you tell me one of you toxified let's go on and walk some stuff but he's still not gonna eat fruit he's still not gonna eat veggies or you know meat chicken or meats or anything so how do you introduce that to him okay we don't introduce the food first we do the detox first we remove the reason why he is speakator or or why he cannot perceive taste of healthy foods so we remove that problem and then introducing food becomes really easy so i have uh some Ayurvedic things that we use okay okay and then there is also we work on the gut by introducing very good quality probiotics everybody should have a probiotic it's a non-negotiable so like you're drinking water exactly and fermented food it's like drinking water i would highly request all of your audiences every single one of them to check like five minutes today after the show yeah go to the google and then just say what is a gut microbiome and how to take care of it they will know a lot of things like you know even even the bread choices rather than going for the white bread you go for sourdough because sourdough has been fermented it's easier to digest rather than going for yeah rather than going for just your milk go for yogurt you know things like that so include including more probiotic rich food but like i said there has to be the detox first to overcome piquating to overcome sensory aversion and then only you can introduce food otherwise it's gonna be a very hard struggle for both the child both side and whoever is trying to feed side okay exactly so you might think like oh my god he's 28 by the way 28 was the age when i got myself self diagnosed so yeah you are gonna be really i'm i'm feeling like having a day double moment of me sitting on the couch and then going through the doctor's you know report so yeah you gotta understand so for you yes you are adult you understand a lot of things but like i said there are lots of things in the body that we need to understand first and then only the mindset will work and sometimes the mindset piece needs to come first and then another thing so it's never like probably you guys can think it this way or maybe understand what i'm saying i would always feel like i need to have a permanent solution so i will do one thing one time and that will be all but i have seen things can go this way or that way very easily just like having the mindset piece coming first and the food later on works in some cases but in some cases detox needs to be first and then the mindset so i cannot say that you have to start with here and then go here and then go here i have to skip with you i have to sit with you and understand you your needs your struggles and then i will be able to understand so do i start with mindset with side first or do i start with his or you know picky eating do i start with detox or do i start with his lifestyle which piece is the most easiest to start with so that you start seeing results because when you see results with small efforts you gain momentum you gain inspiration nobody has to push you to eat because you now know that it works oh wow but if science in this scenario is like five years old what can what kind of mindset coaching giving a five-year-old that mindset is not for side the five-year-old that's for the mother that's actually for the mother here is why okay so have you guys i'm sure you guys have but it's just for the sake of the audience because we never know who's listening and you know so metaphysics and physics Einstein everybody we know that we are made up at unsaid and we are all every single thing living or non-living made up of atom and we vibrate at certain frequencies and science and research have also proven that at thoughts what we think what we feel also has frequency okay so since the child was inside the mother for nine months and the child is essentially made of what she is they are connected through like a guitars you know guitars if you strum one guitar at a C that's an example at her let's see a minor the other guitar lying beside we automatically start getting that C minors from then why because they are in resonance they are made of the same guitar wires so your child and the mother they are made of the same thing they are in resonance so a mother's mindset a mother's energetic vibration a mother's fears a mother's you know convictions everything affects the child wow so yeah totally i am the same person who thought i cannot feed my child i went to several doctors but i was the same person who decided those doctors are not able to understand because probably they are not understanding why my child is a picketer to that level and it was when i decided my mindset wise when i decided i'm going to tackle this and find the solution i did okay so that's why we start with the mother's mindset so that the mother understands that whatever i am made of whatever i'm feeling whatever emotions and stuck energies and traumas and things that i have gone through just like we pass on diabetes to our kids we pass on traumas to them also wow okay so in our talk we've been focusing a lot on the mother but what what about the father what is his role in the in the life of an autistic child very good question well i'm loving you guys actually you have very good questions okay so fathers i would say well i don't know what the the basis of your audience but in our religion we are told that mothers at three times more important than father so i would say let's if we divide hundred by twenty five so it's like 75 percent mommy 25 percent daddy so what daddy is gonna do is not create any more issues and just let the father do what but okay so let's say she wants to buy organic versus conventional he has to find a way to you know to find a way to pay for it yeah because it's for his son and yes the father has to understand so what happened was initially when he started working on my son my husband didn't even understand he didn't believe but he at least had the believe he was like girl you have a phd in pharmacy in natural medicine well i have seen you thank you and i have seen you work a lot of miracles on my own gut and my own body so even though i don't understand what you are saying and even though all the doctors that have stayed it's not gonna work let me just trust on you and not not create a problem so he did his version of sacrifice what was that so it was pandemic there were certain times in the pandemic when you were not allowed outside the home also i don't i don't know if you guys remember that first yep no not to not do out exactly complete lockdown complete lockdown a so what he would do is let's say we have a because we are stuck in this one bedroom apartment very small dinghy dark kid banging so he needs to do his let's say smoking so he would go out and then he would do his shit okay or or or he wants to let's say eat chips or chocolates because he wants to just you know craving i remember him going to the washroom and closing the door and eating a bag of cheetos because i told him no processed food in this home wow so if he buys something he will hide it in a way that we don't even see and he will go to the washroom and that what i'm not saying that you force your husband to go to the bathroom and eat stuff like that so that was our situation because i'm saying exactly in a covid now there is no covid now your husband can totally go out in the porch and do whatever he wants to do the father has to understand that his role is to not be an obstacle i have seen lots because i i speak to mothers through our clariticals every single day like four or five people every single day like i have spoken to hundreds of parents at this juncture and we have like 350 students going on so to get those 360 students i have spoken to at least 1000 parents one to one wow and a majority of that at least the initial stages these days i see more fathers on the call and it's it really it really makes me very happy the first two or three years it was only the mother and then she was so scared like i love this i know it's going to work for my child but my my husband doesn't want believe in any other things except what the doctors say or my husband don't want to stop eating sugar or my husband don't want to stop eating this and that so i'm very upset and i don't know how to work through that's when i hit me kind of like just get your husband on the call and i will give them examples now speak to them and i believe in my heart that every father wants their son to be successful unless they are so traumatized or mentally broken themselves that they cannot function marvel and that's a different case not not i would say one percent of fathers are maybe of that level you know you do hear you do see in in papers and things like that that there is this father who beats the child of children and or beats the one that's different yeah yeah it's not common so i would say that father is traumatized maybe his father baby this book out of him yeah so he learned that he has a lot of stored thing that he didn't know how to you know get out yeah and then even even with boys i know if you guys were young you are crying your father or mother would come and say boys don't cry yeah remember those days so you guys learn to withheld your emotions and then that you don't know how to get those things out so your guests tells where the emotions are stored they are like anytime they're gonna burst that's when the bursting things happen suddenly a very good guy gets so angry he becomes a psychopath you know you see that those things in movies right that's happening because that person haven't dealt with their trauma or with those emotions that's the mindset he's i wanted to ask you about the cultural aspect of it too do you find based on your experiences from the east and the western practices does um islam have a place to play with autism or Ayurvedic medicine have a place to play or is western society more accepting culturally of your diverse people so traditionally since you included the islam part so when i was going through the first initial start initial you know stages of going through with him i was reading the Quran and then there with this i haven't got days a lot of other essays i haven't created a single disease i would add a subtext of disorder as well okay i haven't created a single disease that i didn't give a solution or cure off except that i was like aimed with that knowledge a lot please so i'll go through the solution and i found it okay but there are also parents who literally takes um the religion and things that either the child is a punishment for their misdeeds their sins or they're supposed to just uh suck it up and allow the child to go on with his day because this is what god has designed for them because they believe in a punishing god we i'm pretty sure from the cultural background that i come from i have heard more about god punishing me than god sending me to heaven how about you guys yeah here is the thing our god is the what our god god okay god is the most benevolent loving deity there is well then you can ask why is god dubbing the blah blah blah this is hey it's the thing he if you guys really take religion to the core any religion to the real core and not what what human being have tarnished it with you will essentially see that you cannot hitting another person hurting another human is not accepted in any religion yeah yeah any religion period it's how that humans can try that you know change the dialogue like i said i took that verse and i helped it i use that because of my mindset others are taking that and taking that oh this is what Allah has assigned me to do and i don't want to take him to any doctors i don't want to take him to any therapies i'm going to just let him be in his whole in his room and break everything apart because that is what Allah have decided i have met those mothers also okay that is why i'm saying i would say religion has nothing to do with it it's how we perceive religion that has everything to do with it and Asians are more about helping the child than western people okay why are you why are you hesitating on that i hated i hated it because i feel like it might be a bit more true you know i feel like it is when it goes live you will see a lot of people saying like oh my god how can you say that i don't work on my child so here is the thing Asian moms for some reason they find the energy to be that be in that mindset that i don't want to be a victim i am gonna do whatever it takes so that i i because i want to be sure that i have done my best i want to die in peace knowing that i have done my best yeah yes so they will try Ayurveda homeopakki this that they will come to me a lot of the people comes to me after they have exhausted a lot of the things and they are burned out financially emotionally energetically yeah yes and then when i'm speaking to our western counterpart they are mostly about shortcuts they would be like give me a pill or a supplement and i'm good to go yeah so yeah so they love that yeah they love the shortcuts the supplements the understanding and accepting because maybe that's how they were raised i am saying in Canada so i see my neighbors how their life is going through and what they have been raised so the first time when i came to Canada i overheard a woman saying that my mother never cooked we always got outside food and i was like we're from the world i can tell can tell you how many times we ate out because my mother was always looking for for her for the asian mothers we are like home cooked food is the best we know it culturally of course we know nature is the best culturally it's and then i'm trying to understand our western counterparts because there was a there was a time when i would also just like any other humans categorize people these are good mothers these are bad mothers they're they're stingy parents they're just no now i don't do that now i know because i have worked on the my own belief system and i have gotten some additional you know certifications on understanding human beings as well so now i know that every decision any human being takes is based on their examples and blueprint that have been raised or taught to them so if that mother have learned their her mother raising her a certain way she will follow the same food steps okay yeah our parenting blueprint comes from our parents so for me alhamdulillah although my mother beats me a lot because she didn't understand why i was so backward but i have seen her sacrifice for me i have seen her not buying any new dresses so that she could save the money and send me to a good school i have seen her giving us the better pieces of the chicken and she eating the just a bone so that i could get my nutrition properly so i learned about the sacrifice pieces i know a mother is supposed to behave like this way so i just did it without thinking i didn't have to force myself to sacrifice yeah because it's it's in me i have seen it time and time and again aunties uncles everybody we see that we are that kind life so i co-slip with my kids when they were younger and i when i came here i heard that even very young kids are not separated they are trying to sleep teach their sleep coach their child the sleep coaches are telling the parents that it's okay let them cry there and cry themselves to sleep and i was like that's so traumatic yeah that's so traumatic no wonder the mother feels okay to kick them out after the age of 18 and the no wonder me at the age of 37 my mother still thinks about me she calls me did you eat your things my mom too yes yeah so so i think that's that's the thing it's just about culturally also and then i would say let's say whether and i have also had moms who are westerners join our program and doing all the hard work yeah it takes them double the time when it takes the asian moms to get the hangout of what i'm trying to do here yeah but i love their love for their kids and they understand that if they are trying to do certain things their way it might not work so let's try this one since i have joined anyways so yeah i don't know if that was your answer to your question yes i love that you know it's all about learning from other people's perspectives and yeah points of views and psychology's and learning i don't you know i don't want anyone who's a mother of someone in you know western like they said us or canada for example to think oh i wish i had that eastern or asian culture you just have to adopt the things that you think are working and adopt it into your own life and teach yourself and learn to be better um i love your talking about sacrifice too i think it's so important we're we want things the easy way we don't want to sacrifice things but you need to sacrifice to see results yes that's true say no wonder we are seeing so many obeisities and things going on because we don't want to we would rather eat the chocolate pie that three m when you wake up and not make the choice of not buying them and storing your home with them so that when actually m you're waking up and you're feeling like i want to eat that chocolate cake but where is the cake there's no cake at home you go back to sleep you go back to sleep like you said oh yeah oh yeah what i understood from um what you were sharing about the difference between the eastern and western approach to dealing with a child with autism um it seems like the the eastern approach is just they show more care they show more love and that's what is needed for someone with who's neurodivergent they need a bit more attention they need a bit more care instead of you know having that separation from their parents and i think in the west they're actually learning about this like in the field of psychology that is what's what is currently being analyzed and studied and from what i'm understanding is actually they're learning the scientific approach of what eastern philosophy and eastern cultures already know and already do you know within the way they raise their kids but now it's it's just it's being approached in a more logical sense and the studies are showing from the western approach that yes eastern philosophy on how raising a child does work you know it might take a bit might take a bit you know it might take a lot of hard work you know it's not like it does it's not an easy thing and it's kind of like an investment i would say you know you're you're investing your time and your energy in this child other than also like the time and energy you spent in your own life and in your in your work you kind of have to find a balance between all these things yeah that's what happened that's what it is like when you have a child i think also here's another thing it's maybe because i'm not a westerner i don't want to say something that is totally i'm true but from the four years the four and a half years that i have been five years i would say that i have been in Canada i think it's actually maybe a little easier for parents to kind of just let the let the professionals tell them what to do and not maybe because they think like oh i'm with this kid just for a few years yeah is that what is i would really love to talk with a mother of older kids on the spectrum because i see them sharing things on the on the socials also right so for me on our Asians we like our children is for like till death he was apart yeah yeah in Asia you will never i have never seen a mother die on her own and nobody around them never in here i have i have regularly seen old people taken out of their room after five days they have been dead eaten by their dogs or cats yeah and that that situation is unthinkable in the Asian countries so maybe because when a child is struggling for us i feel like this relationship is still dead i'm gonna see my child suffer till death we are gonna stay in the same home so in Asia parents actually stay with the kids right so i'm gonna see my son struggle every single day for the rest of my life i am not gonna i'm not ready for that maybe that is also one of the things i don't know we don't we never know and your toddler mindset and that mindset changes the environment of the kid and so that changing of the environment is what's going to lead them to success yeah you know you can learn it and apply it in your own life everything you talked about today is lessons for every person that is working with someone with autism or has a child with autism or no someone with autism or a cousin or nephew or a friend like Zaid yeah yeah um thank you so much dr just nova for coming on to the podcast and enlightening us more about you know the world of autism and sharing with us all of this your insight on the matter where can people connect to you and find out more about you okay so i am available in instagram at autism success academy and also the same for my website autismsexacademy.com you can DM me i also have a youtube channel under my name dr.asknuga so even if you search with autism success academy in youtube or in instagram you will find or in you know google you will find me and what i do over there and yeah just you send me a DM ask more question more you don't have to believe everything that i've said i want you to do a little bit of experiment on your child on your own from what you have heard me telling today because when you are oh my gosh there are a lot these days same person they would be like i have been following you for three years and in these three years i have tested a few things that you have stayed and i have overcome a lot of these problems and now i know that yes you are legitimate so now i'm ready to invest and i'm like wow three years and now now she would they would say that i wish i made this decision three years ago then i would have been working on a three year old rather than a six year old and things like that yeah so send me a DM try it you don't have to believe everything anybody says because this is not a good brainwashing i'm not right that person is not right everybody's perspective matters i would say to any parent who's listening just do your own small testing do your own small experiments and you will understand when you see the result in your own eyes you will understand which side is actually for you wow all right perfect yeah oh and thank you very much for watching this podcast no one needs any time doctor yes you're most welcome everyone please don't forget to subscribe and like this episode if you enjoyed it if you well you definitely enjoyed it come on if you're watching for now yeah exactly um doctor we we fun and we finished this episode by saluting to cover the camera if you want you can join us and... Peace! (laughing)