you're about to write a blog and an annoying little voice in your head laughs at you and says you don't know enough to write a blog. Who do you think you are? Ouch, that's not very nice, is it? Or you're about to post on social media and that little voice shows up again and says why on earth would people take any notice of you? You've got nothing interesting to say. Yep, that's your imposter syndrome lying to you again and oh my goodness, it hurts and yes, it can absolutely hold you back. But here's the thing, it doesn't have to. Stick around as we explore managing imposter syndrome as a therapist and I share with you eight ways to silence the inner critic. Welcome to The Grow Your Private Practice Show, where I inspire counsellors and therapists to attract more clients more easily using the power of content marketing. I'm your host Jane Travis and I'm thrilled to have you here. So when a therapist says they're scared of having to sell themselves, I recognise that this is just normal fears, that we all have that when we're stepping into something new. So maybe you'll tell yourself that you're not as intelligent or creative or talented as other therapists and you suspect that your achievements are just down to look or good timing or just being in the right place at the right time. Maybe you question your abilities or ask yourself, you know, what gives me the right? Who am I to say? And you might even feel that you shouldn't even be a counsellor at all because you just don't belong. And maybe you look at other therapists and tell yourselves that, well, they know so much more, they have more skills, they have more intelligence, they're more empathetic, they're more knowledgeable and they're more popular than you. Ouch, that's a stinger, isn't it? Your biggest fear is that one day you'll be exposed as a fraud and that you'll face public humiliation and shame. Now, just saying that means that I feel really icky now. So sorry if that's how you felt as well. It's just like, it's horrible. So give yourself a little shake and shake away all that negativity. But does any of that sound at all familiar? Because of course, we're talking about imposter syndrome. And the chances are that you're going to struggle with it because look, we all do. And as horrible as it is, it's absolutely totally normal. Now, it's said that the only people who don't get imposter syndrome are psychopaths and narcissists. So, you know, I can't imagine Donald Trump fretting that is just not good enough, can you? So I struggle with imposter syndrome regularly. You know, it's there all the time. Sometimes if I'm on top of my game, it's not too bad and I can handle it. But if for any reason, I'm feeling low or down or tired even, then bam, there it is taunting me. Sometimes it whispers, but there are other times when it shouts at me, it's like having my very own personal bully in my head that's got access to every fear, every worry that I have, who knows everything I've ever failed at or done wrong in my entire life. And with that is my soundtrack. Life becomes so much harder than it has to be. It's a really, really powerful force. You know, imposter syndrome can be linked to other areas of self doubt as well, such as a fear of success or a fear of failure. Perfectionism, perfectionism is very closely linked to imposter syndrome. And that can absolutely stop here in your tracks and procrastination and shiny object syndrome. You don't know what shiny object syndrome is. That's when you flipped from one idea to another, never completing anything as you move from, you know, one thing to the next, and therefore not getting the benefit of doing something. So just doing the work, not getting any good stuff. Or, you know, there could be other self sabotage activities as well. Now, sometimes we talk about imposter syndrome, like it's million annoyance, or we don't quite take it seriously. But look, underestimate it at your parable, because it's not simply about poor self confidence or excessive humility. It is serious. It's got serious ramifications and it can and will hold you back. It'll hold your practice back. It'll hold back your success. It might even, you know, drive you to close your practice, because you're too worried that marketing's too hard, that you have to be visible. You can't help anybody anyway. It is horrible. So let's take it seriously. Now imposter syndrome involves a lot of anxiety, you know, a constant fear of public exposure, isolation, rejection, humiliation, shame. And as you know, shame is a really serious problem. And that is going to be something that will stop you dead in your tracks. Now again, I'm saying this right now, I'm sitting here talking to you, and I can feel my tummy kind of starting. I've got that anxiety in my tummy. I'm getting a physical response to the fact that I'm talking about it. So again, I'm really sorry if you've got back the same, but you know, it's just important to know, isn't it? Now another thing, interestingly, it was previously thought to be more prevalent in women. But now, research has shown that if it affects both genders equally. So hey, he ate for gender equality, right? The same study also suggests that symptoms of imposter syndrome are particularly high amongst ethnic minority groups, and often affect those who show symptoms of depression and anxiety. So yeah, it's horrible. Anyway, imposter syndrome can stop you in your tracks even before you get started. But it can also show up at moments of success, making you feel like, you know, you've done something, but you're a fraud. It was by accident. And it's not anything to do with the fact that you have skills, you have qualities, you've got qualifications, you are knowledgeable, you know what you're doing. And like I say, it's horrible. And if you're just starting out in practice, it will show up at the start of your business. Now, the thing is it's normal. It is normal. Yes, it all sounds very depressing, but it is normal. Remember, we all get imposter syndrome, which is actually kind of okay, because that means you're not an narcissist or a psychopath. So that's got to be good, right? So maybe we should start to reframe it. Maybe we should welcome it, because it means that we're leaving our comfort zone, and that's where all the good stuff happens, because outside your comfort zone, that's where we grow, right? So you know, let's maybe just just reframe it and say, oh, this is kind of a positive thing. It means that I'm growing. And it's normal that when you start marketing and you try to attract clients, it feels uncomfortable, because it means you're starting to be a bit more visible. And just to be clear, when I talk about being visible, that doesn't mean that you have to start dancing around on tic-tac or reels. Thank goodness. But by publishing a website, by starting to do things like produce blogs or social media or just being visible in other ways, it's hard to confidently talk when you've convinced yourself that you're less intelligent or less creative or less talented than other people. And if you don't feel good enough, you're unlikely to set goals are going to stretch you so that you step forward and take that. Yeah, just take that step to do a little bit more, and you're ultimately going to be less ambitious, which is maybe going to prevent you from fulfilling your true potential. You're a counselor, you've done all the work, you've done the hard work, you can potentially help hundreds, thousands, maybe people. So let's not let anything get in your way to do that. Okay. So how does imposter syndrome show up? Now, I know that you're a therapist, and I know that you probably already know, but let's just go through it again, just for arguments. So there's a feeling of inadequacy and self-doubt. So imposter syndrome expresses itself as an extreme lack of confidence. When you experience success, you might find yourself thinking, well, I've not done anything to deserve this. This is a mistake. I'm not worthy. I was just in the right place at the right time. It can also mean that you start to exhibit perfectionist tendencies. Many people who experience imposter syndrome are perfectionists, and this is when you set yourself unreasonably high goals, and then just feel huge amounts of shame or disappointment when you fail. Perfectionism means that you may never be satisfied with your achievements, and you tend to focus on mistakes and failures. Again, it's not a good thing, is it? My goodness. Avoiding responsibility. So while some people suffer from imposter syndrome, show perfectionist tendencies, others go the opposite way. So you might fear failures so much that you avoid doing tasks that you need to. So in marketing, that might mean that you're just not going to do what's necessary. You might hide yourself away. You might put your head firmly in the sand and you're pregnant. You're pregnant. That's not right. It's it. That's made me laugh. You're pregnant. I can't speak now. And your practice starts to stagnate. With imposter syndrome, you'll rarely be worried about judgment and discovery. And I think for me, this is the big one that imposter syndrome is so often viewed as a constant fear of being discovered as a fraud. Not only are you haunted by the fear that you're not good enough, also that others are going to find you out as a massive phony, that you're going to be ridiculed and ostracized and humiliated. And there's no wonder we struggle with anxiety if we're waiting for public humiliation all the time. I mean, it's properly horrendous. Something else that might happen is denying your own success. So another way it shows up is just downplaying your achievements. Are you the sort of person that tends to pass off your successes? Oh, that was easy or anybody could do it. Even when he spent a lot of time and effort on them, I can put my hand up there. I can definitely definitely do that as well. So, you know, I don't think if you're if you're listening to any of this and kind of shaking your head and nodding and going, Oh, correct. Yeah, it does sound like me. You're definitely definitely not on your own. So yeah, that's imposter syndrome. So it's horrible. It's debilitating. It makes you feel really bad. So how can you deal with imposter syndrome? Now, for me, I think I have I think imposter syndrome for me personally is almost on a spectrum. So like I said earlier, there are times when I'm on top of my game and I'm feeling full of energy, I'm having a good day feeling a bit better about myself. When I'm feeling that I can dismiss it pretty easily and there's no harm done. But there are other times when I find it really cripples me. And sometimes I need some tools in order for me to stop it taking over my life. So here are eight things that you can try. So number one, first of all, recognize that you have imposter syndrome. Now, this is often the first step towards overcoming it, which we'll explore in a bit more detail below. But if you answer yes to one or more of the questions below, you may well be suffering with it. So do you often feel like you're not good enough? Does perfectionism hold you back or slow you down? You know, maybe you've got draft social media posts or draft blog posts that you've written, but you haven't published them yet because you think they need finishing and then they'll sit there and they'll not do any good at all because nobody gets to see them. Do you ever put yourself off starting something new because you have a big fear of failure? Or do you find it really difficult to accept praise? Maybe you're worried that other people are going to see your work and you're worried what they're going to say, you know, who's that person? Who do they think they are? You know, what do they know about this? That sort of thing. Or do you feel like you're kind of acting apart and fear that you're going to be found out because you're just playing a role, but it's not the proper role for you. And do you feel incompetent, despite being highly qualified? Now dealing with imposter syndrome can be difficult, feeling like a fraud can diminish your self-esteem and your self-worth. But once you recognise that this is something you might be struggling with, then you can start taking steps to manage it and here are eight things to do to manage your imposter syndrome. Blogging is a fantastic way to grow your practice ethically. So if you're interested in learning more about the power of blogging, this is for you. Now I'm teaming up with people at online events to bring you a mini-series called Attract Therapy Clients by blogging, even if writing isn't your thing. Over three days, so that's the 17th, 18th and 19th of September, in just one hour a day, I'll show you how to attract clients by blogging in a way that feels ethical, comfortable and true to who you are. On day one, we'll be spending an hour exploring the power of blogging and how it can kickstart your therapeutic relationship and make you stand out. On day two, we'll use that hour to tackle your writing fears and help you to find your unique voice because if you can talk, you can write. And on day three, I'll spend an hour with you, helping you to unleash your creativity and come up with endless blog posts with ideas targeted to your ideal clients. Attract therapy clients by blogging, even if writing isn't your thing, is available on a pay what you want basis. So if you're looking for an affordable way to learn more, go and check it out. Take a look at JainTravis.co.uk/blog4clients. I hope to see you there. So how do we overcome imposter syndrome? Well, the first thing is, like I say, acknowledge your feelings. Think about your work as a therapist. A lot of what you do is helping people to see issues more clearly so that they can work on the things that are currently being unhelpful and holding them back. And this is the thing that brings about transformation. And it's exactly the same here. So the first step is to really acknowledge what you're feeling and why. Notice when you're bullying yourself and recognize it for what it is. So rather than thinking, Oh, God, I'm just rubbish and start to think, Oh, I'll cry. I know what that is. That's my imposter syndrome bullying me. And you can just recognize it for what it is. Some people even give it a name which can be helpful and acknowledges what it is. So it could be like, Oh, here's doubting Dorothy coming to bully me or that sounds like nastiness negative voice or something like that. Kind of puts a little bit of humor on it. And the humor can sort of, Oh, what's the word? What's the word? When are you at disarm? I'm thinking like, how do you do that? What do you do with the bomb? Disarm it. So humor can disarm something like that. So acknowledge your feelings and recognize what's happening. That's always the first step to recovering something the same as for clients. Another thing that you could do is start keeping a journal. I don't know about you. I always, I think the world of journal, I think it's fantastic. I'm not very consistent with it. But if you start noticing something new, that's a great time to just start doing some journaling. So whether you experience feelings of self doubt or inadequacy, write them down and be as specific as you can possibly be about why you might be feeling that way. You know, consider what it is that's triggered you so you can be on your guard to protect yourself in the future and also recognize how it usually shows up for you. Now, the chances are that seeing your thoughts written out in black and white are going to help you to see how harmful they actually are and most importantly, to challenge them. So remember that whilst feelings are important, they are just feelings. So you feeling unqualified, it doesn't mean that you are. Something else that's a great thing to do is just talk to others. You know, reach out and talk to people that you trust. I think you'd probably be surprised how many of your friends and colleagues relate to this feeling. So listen to the people you respect and let them show you how your fears are unfounded. Now, then perfectionism, overcoming perfectionism mistakes demonstrate that you're not afraid to take risks and they push you to try new things. Therefore, instead of seeing your mistakes as things to be ashamed of, maybe treat them as really important learning experiences that are going to help you to perform even better next time. So yeah, the risk of sounding like a cliche experience is making mistakes and learning from them. So the trick is to celebrate the actions that you've taken and learned from them rather than deeming them to be a failure. So if you tried something and it didn't work, then you can have a look at, well, why didn't it work? What did I do? Was I putting too much pressure on myself? Did I expect too much out of myself? Was I forcing myself to do something I didn't want to be and explore it? You know, it's a way for you to learn so that you'll know better the next time you do it. Now, something else that people seem to like and people swear by are affirmations. Now, if you don't know, affirmations are positive statements that you can say to yourself, either in your head or out loud. Out loud is probably the best. You can't always do that, can you? As people, people start looking at you in the cafe and wonder who you're talking to. But these are a great way of reinforcing yourself, your self-belief and shifting your mindset. So they're like little reminders that help you to focus on your strengths, focus on your values, and focus on your goals. And by regularly repeating them, they help to challenge and overcome negative thoughts or self-doubt. And it means that you can then replace them with something a little bit more positive. So you can think of them as a way to rewire your brain, helping you to build confidence and to stay aligned with the person that you want to be. Whether it's I am deserving of success or I trust my intuition, these statements can be a powerful tool for personal growth and resilience. And you can use them in lots of different ways as well. Like I say, you can say them out loud. It's a great thing to do if you're in the car. You speak out loud when you're in the car and nobody can hear you. Not if you've got a car full of people, that'd probably be a bit weird. You can also repeat them too silently. So if you repeat them to yourself maybe 20 times on the truck, that just helps to anchor those thoughts. And it helps you to focus on positive energy. If you do it every hour or maybe several times a day or even like every time we put the kettle on or every time we flush the topic, look, that's not a good one to think on. I should have thought of that through. Each time that you do something that happens regularly, repeat one of your affirmations. Something that I do is I have them on screen savers from a phone and from a laptop. So mine currently says, I am valuable on what I say matters. And I put that there. I thought of that when I was just coming through a bit of an imposter syndrome-y type of thing. So I do that. Now every time I look on my phone or I look on my laptop, I can see it there. And it's just a little thing that taps into the brain, isn't it? Something else that's quite interesting is you can set reminders on your phone with affirmations that pop up through the day, that give you a little boost when you need it. So you might get the alarm go off and you open the alarm and it's a little affirmation there. And it just keeps, it's kind of like, instead of constantly having this imposter syndrome, it's like building your own little cheerleaders that live inside of you to fight against the imposter syndrome, to sort of balance them out. So whether you choose to say them or write them or share them with a friend, the key is consistency. Using affirmations regularly will help you to reinforce that positive mindset and it's going to start to build some long-lasting self-beliefs. Now I've put together 20 affirmations that you can use to help to manage imposter syndrome. So if you have a look in the show notes, you'll see how you can get a hold of them. And these are the sorts of things that you can share. So you've got things like, I am worthy of success and recognition. I deserve to take up space and share my ideas. I acknowledge the achievements and celebrate my growth. I trust in my ability to make positive impact. There's 20 of those. See which ones resonate with you and start to use them. And you can use a different one a day, a different one every week, you know, however it suits you. Affirmations are, again, one of these really simple things that just can help to shift your mindset and build confidence. So it reinforces the truth that you deserve your success, that you are capable, you can do it. Now I'm not really a particularly woo-woo kind of person, but I'm happy to give anything a go. So if you're the same, give this a go because look, you've got absolutely nothing to lose. There's nothing bad is going to happen. So just give it a go. Now something else that you can try is emotional freedom technique. This is EFT. And I really like a bit of EFT. Now I got chat GPT to write this next bit out for me because despite doing it regularly for years, there's no way that I could describe it. So it says it's often referred to as tapping and it's a holistic healing practice that combines elements of cognitive therapy with acupressure by tapping on specific meridian points on the body. The process involves focusing on a negative emotion or issue while tapping on these points, which is believed to help release emotional blockages and reduce stress or anxiety. EFT is used to address a variety of issues from anxiety and depression to physical pain and phobias and by tapping on these points, practitioners aim to restore balance to the body's energy system, allowing for emotional healing and a reduction in distressing feelings. So yeah, thank you, chat GPT. I would never have been able to do that. So here's the thing though, with EFT, it's free. It can't harm you. So you've got nothing to lose. Give it a go. I recommend that you go to YouTube and do research, tapping for imposter syndrome. Now you can do tapping for all sorts of different things, but obviously we're talking about imposter syndrome. So go and just search tapping for imposter syndrome. Now my favorite person is Melanie Moore, but there are dozens of people out there, probably more than that, of people on there. So it's like finding the right counselor for you, find someone that you like, you know, you like their voice, you like the way they do it. And then just, I think I used to go through a phase, I've not done it for a little while, if I'm honest, but I might have to start it again. And I would do it first thing in the morning. So I'd have a cup of coffee, I'd sit down, I'd do a quick EFT, which usually between about 10 minutes and 20 minutes. And then that was it. I'd get on with the day and I'd just have a little bit of extra confidence, I suppose. So yeah. So now this podcast is also available as a blog. So if you go and check the blog out, janetravis.co.uk/blog, you'll see there, I've put one of Melanie's YouTube films in there. So you can go and check it there. Now, something that I talk about all the time. So forgive me if you think, oh, Jane, not again, but let's celebrate our successes. So often people with imposter syndrome find it really hard to accept praise. So when things go well, they'll put it down to external factors such as help from others or just being lucky. But when things go wrong, they tend to shoulder all of the blame. And that's not fair. If you're not going to take the praise, then you don't have to take the blame either surely. So if you believe mistakes are down to you, then your successes are too. So let's start to recognise this, recognise that it's your fault. It's your skill. It's your talent that has made your success happen. Make a conscious effort to fully recognise the successes that you have, even really small ones. In the grow your private practice membership, every single Friday, we have the share your wins thread so that people can practise doing this. And it's not showing off. I think sometimes, I think sometimes for women and sometimes for us in the UK, we aren't used to blowing our own trumpet. But I want to just say, look, it's not about showing off. It's about acknowledging your wins and that can help you to boost your self-esteem. And it can help you to kick good old imposter syndrome's bum. So if you are a member of the grow private practice membership, please remember, share your successes, large or small, every single week, because I love hearing them. But if you're not a member or not a member yet, you could also do this daily in your journal. But like I say, look, it doesn't have to be something big. So it doesn't have to be something that I've got a new client or I've published a new blog. It could be something really simple like you made a mistake, you learned from it. That's still a win. Even though you've made a mistake, it's the learning from it that's a win, or that you've done something despite being scared in a feel the fear and do it anyway sort of way. Or it could be that you've reached out for help. And that counts as a win, especially if that doesn't come easily for you. Or it could be that you've practiced some self care or you've enforced a boundary. So it doesn't necessarily have to be something big, but it can be just recognizing that you've done something that very often doesn't feel comfortable for you. And the more you acknowledge any of this good stuff, the more it drowns out that negative voice and the more likely you are to keep doing it. So as a part of celebrating your successes, you could actually start something called a smile jar. This is again really easy to do. It's just about keeping a record of any or any and all positive free feedback and praise you get. So it could be in your journal, could be in a notebook, but I have what I call a smile jar. You can go and check out on the blog and I'll put a picture of my smile jar there. So what it basically is, it doesn't have to be fancy. I've just got a jar. I've got an old, it's a glass jar, basically. It's nothing fancy at all. So you can buy something fancy if you want to, or just an old coffee jar is fine. And what you do is you just jot down on a post-it note or something, whatever the positive thing is that you've done, just on a scrap of paper and just pop it in there. And then what you can do is when your imposter syndrome starts to bully you and it starts shouting at you, you can open the jar up and there it is. You've got documentary evidence. Actually, you're really pretty cool. So you can look back at this positive stuff the next time you hear that negative inner voice and it's going to help to take the sting out of any criticism that you're directing it yourself can also take a look at what's in your jar, say on a New Year's Eve or something like that to start the year on a good note. And you can basically look back anytime you need a bit of a little bit of a boost. If your negative voice is getting a little bit loud, if you're hearing some self-criticism or criticism from other people, you know, this is going to give you a bit of a boost of confidence. So it's pretty cool. So please train yourself to notice the small wins. They're a great way of boosting yourself esteem and confidence. It doesn't mean that you're being vain. It doesn't mean that you're being showy offy. It just means that you're recognizing something. That's all. And I guess the last thing is just to learn a bit more about imposter syndrome, because I think knowledge is power. You know, make it your mission to find out as much as you can about imposter syndrome. You could maybe search for podcasts. You could maybe look around for blogs. You could maybe look at some books around it. You could check out YouTube. You could make it your mission to just learn everything you can about imposter syndrome. There's plenty around that's free for you. And you know, this has the added bonus of you being able to also help your clients that come to you that are struggling with it. So you're not going to regret it. When we learn things, it's not very often we regret it. So yeah, pour yourself into learning all about imposter syndrome. Okay, so I hope that this has given you some ideas of ways to help to manage your imposter syndrome. And especially as a therapist, it's really difficult. So we've looked at what imposter syndrome is. We've looked at how it's actually lying to you, because it's actually your fabulous. We've looked at how sadly it's really completely normal. We've looked at ways that it shows up. And we've looked at eight different ideas of ways that you might be able to handle it. And I've also produced a free resource of 20 affirmations that will help you to manage imposter syndrome. So the next time you feel imposter syndrome rearing its ugly head, pause and use one or more of these strategies and take the power back. So if you need some more help with anything I've talked about, go and check the show notes for any links. And yeah, hope that you found this useful. Thank you so much for listening. And I hope that you have a fabulous rest of the day. Bye. Thank you so much for joining me this week. And if you're ready to take action to grow your practice, check out growyourprivatepractice.co.uk. Bye for now. [Music] [BLANK_AUDIO]
