Getting a little weird on the zoom. The Notes: Nelson doesn’t have leather driving gloves! The stressful world of high society heisting is not a place for romance! Who’s trying to be out there heisting in a Star War!? Danger Turducken! D&D DM’s advice for love and lovemaking! Why doesn’t anyone ask Will for lovemaking tips? Will’s Top 5 Lovemaking Tips! Hollywood movie magic! Nelson was in a couple Sister Act situations! Walk off that metaphorical poison! Look for the union label! Will is telling you how to live your life a little bit! Nelson will jump on a math grenade for you! Walk off that metaphorical grenade! Dog-man vs the robots!
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Welcome to the Double Duce podcast an amazing show that lasts only 22 minutes and is for you the listener So soak it up. So here are your two big beer hosts Will Avril and Nelson. Hey, we'll hit the timer and we're in This is wild my friends. It is wild and it is here and it is in your ears It's it's rambunctious It's silly. It's it's playful. Yeah, it flirts with your earbuds Well, that's nice is it like good flirting or bad flirting. Oh, it's like very nice consensual light flirting without any creepy stuff Okay It's like hey, what are you doing later? You want to grab a beer and maybe go tear up some wings or something and maybe then we could Netflix and chill I mean if that's cool with you Yeah Do the kids still Netflix and chill or is it TikTok and chill now? I don't know they probably do still some of that I mean, it's it's a thing to do Yeah, like yeah, like, you know, there's only so many things to do we We've added a lot of things, but we've gotten rid of enough things too that I mean you're not you're not catching up on your respondents anymore. You know, that's true. You can't you can't port a lady by taking her for a Sunday drive anymore No, your leather driving gloves and and her bonnet. Yeah, I mean I guess you kind of could but I feel like you need you need a convertible and you need a picturesque location and People don't always have one or both of those things like I for one don't have either Really, then how do you how do you? Driving gloves frankly, so I'm none of the three Okay, well, okay. Okay. I hypothetically like looks in show. Well, it's all I got It's my only it's my only move left Feel like you're better than that Nelson. I feel like I feel like you could really make some new ground in in advancing I mean it's the actual flotation. I wait for the high high stress world of high society Heisting and like the inherent dangers there to spark a romantic feeling But you know, that's it's dangerous. You got to have a whole crew and so like that's just a that's a powder keg of various emotions and you need if one thing you need in a high screw is trust well Yeah, it's true and if everyone's thoughts are of a more and not of heisting and And what's more that that a more is with perhaps in criss-crossing patterns of triangles and pentagons and tetra hedrons and such like Well, that's a recipe for everyone ending up in jail Well, we're a lot of people ending up in jail and a couple people maybe getting away and now they're in a romance and it's not us because we're in jail I Mean I know you're sort of saying this is the negative thing, but I'd watch that movie It's a good movie, but it's not a good way to live your life a lot of there enough a good way to live your life. Well Sure, listen, I've got I've got a question for you though because I mean, maybe you know Like if you're in a star war, I mean, yeah, you're fighting space fascism But you're also fighting a war in which you know, like the odds are against you and it's not a it's not a great way to be lived It's dangerous Yeah, even more dangerous. There's not a lot of room for netflix and Yeah, it's not a lot of room for netflix and chill on the death star, right? Yeah, you're trying to do a high society heist in a star war. Well, oh I don't know man. It would probably come out like that weird solo movie That's a day. They tried it Listen, they got a question for you though. Yes Okay, so here's the thing right you're a popular fancy man Lady lover man about town Casanova and a dungeon master, right? Yes Okay, so my question is like we have a I want to provide value to this podcast, right? I want this to be a podcast that you walk away from with some tips and you know I know that we have a lot of dungeon masters in our listening base and and I guess what I'm asking is you're a successful ladies man and a dungeon master about what are like the top two or three Ways a dungeon master can approach a relationship In a way that's sort of unique to that Maloo and also is effective Okay, the first of all like Consent is important and so but you don't want to you don't want to like remove the mystery or the romance while trying to to you know Get consent, which is why instead of of asking even just a question of it or or Hairs the thought just moving moving right along it roll have everyone roll for initiative like make a call Call for initiative rolls because then they know that you know stuff that stuff's about to happen and so that yeah Whoa, whoa, I don't know I'm so glad initiative and then you know I'm so glad you said roll for initiative because for a second I thought you were going for roll for consent and that was gonna be problematic No, no, you don't you don't leave consent up to the the role of the dice It's it's not something to be gambled upon. It's something to be right forced I'm saying the initiative so that then you you are creating an initiative order in which you're taking turns and so the The agency is moving back and forth which like that calls for a balance of ideas Like for a give and take an interplay where you know You can you can feel like your needs are being met and their needs are being met But not the cobalt or third on the initiative order. Well, then you just got it aside like what's our what's the game plan? Because again, it's it's both both love and Dungeons and Dragons They are they are it's a group effort, you know and be that a group of two a group of three or a group of many I mean, that's something you got to decide for yourself How big is your party and when your party encounters another group like what what's the score? Are we are we like are we trying diplomacy or are we or is our diplomacy gonna be not with words? But at the end of a sword And also what do these cobolds want are they trying to rob us? Are they trying to romance us? I mean, maybe they just want to watch so probably the first thing you're doing is is you know You're maybe percept and you're you're you're insight and you're like you're trying to you're trying to read the room, you know Well, I think I think that's a fantastic first tip for romancing D&D style as a dungeon master. Do you have another one? I feel yeah, I feel like that was almost - I mean I'm saying what we I would give you two on that. Yeah, that had a little kind of sub section naturally flowed church another one you know Maybe you know don't don't be too Don't be too quick. You got a resource manage, you know You don't don't be too quick to use up all your all your best moves All right at once because you don't know how long this session's going So you want to save some of your good stuff for the middle and the end, you know Yeah, yeah, and I think oh Go ahead, you know To use a metaphor like you need pictures throughout with with with good stuff throughout that whole game not just the beginning Yeah And I would like to just sort of add well you need a closer Yes, and so that's why you know, you want to like be careful how you're casting them spells Be careful how you're like doing them special moves Like save some of them special moves, you know Also, it's just a you want you want a natural progression of peaks and valleys in the action So you can't just you can't just peak peak peak peak peak and then you know That's not how that's not how Our physiology is meant to operate No, no, you'd be going against physiology itself. Yeah But I'd like to piggyback on that and say that you know a lot a lot of game names Don't you know really chart things like inventory weight and somatic And physical and verbal components In spell casting in particular, but if you're applying it to love making You know those physical components of those spells could be an integral part of your romantic adventure It's true. So sometimes you need to To take that action to use an item as opposed to right Do something with your own body That's right Yep. Oh, man. I hope you never ever say own body like that again because it was salacious Whoops Yeah, yeah three salacious points to merits some merits for nelson You were writing notes and I was drinking so there was an awkward pause there and my dog came down to the basement Say hi, daisy She's going to try to eat the basement now. So this is there's going to be a little bit of a perilous next few minutes while uh while we Conclude our podcast, which is only halfway done Well, that was delightful. I'm glad we had some love tips uh dnd style. I think that's good to appeal to a broad audience of Folks who you know dms They often tell amazing stories, but one wonder sometimes about their social You know interaction skills and this will give them some more tools for the toolkit Yeah, man. Well, you know, I I'm trying to I like to help the people out Like once again, one of the main reasons we do this is to educate as well as to uh to entertain Oh, I start the timer We we talked a big game about having a timer for me. Yeah what we started and I'm just You know, sorry like that was a little inside baseball maybe but I didn't start my timer Which means I don't know what's going on time wise listeners. This could go this could go forever Yeah, yeah, well Ration be so lucky Like it's only it's about 10 and a half minutes if you want to set it now So uh 10 and a half minutes left if you want to go there Yeah, I want to tell you how to run your game. I don't want to tell you how to run your game I'm cool. I'm glad to know I'm glad Um, give and take Do you have any questions for me about lovemaking? That's the next important thing Why does no one ever have any questions from me about lovemaking? Um, no, uh, yeah, um top five love makings go uh Love making tips. Oh, okay. The top five love making tips. Um It's not as much fun underwater as you think it would be Uh, you've got to uh, you know, things can get affected That's true. And and also there's there's a lot of friction. Uh, you got to um, uh, watch out Uh, when when you know, you're you're thinking that um, you're doing Good thing that you saw in a movie. Maybe it was not a good thing or a good movie Um, and number three, I mean, can't say I'm concerned. That's how we should remember one It can not something that the human body's capable of listeners Right, right Um, always take two minutes more than you think you need to that's That's good advice and and lovemaking cooking and mechanics. Yeah, measure twice cut once. You know, that's right. That's right Um, and and uh for gods Yeah, yeah And hey, you know, if you invite friends, um, make sure everybody knows that's and that's also good for dnd and And sex Yeah Yeah So, uh, those are my tips buddy. Uh, I I hope that the Are listening to you for some You did it They didn't I mean I had to beg you to ask me. It's not like You did kind of plainively Ask you cry out under the heavens. Why no one asked you and so yeah, I felt like I should take that opening to ask you So yeah, you're welcome You I just feel like listeners who just learned some more useful advice It's older. You get the fewer and fewer people want sex advice from you On the bus, you know Yeah No, that's fair That's a hard part of aging. Are you are They're not asking at all or you're just you're you're not even waiting for the ask. You're just offering Oh, I'm offering and I can see it though like maybe if you were a baker and you had baked a bunch of cookies Maybe you'd be asking people hey, would you like some of these delicious cookies? But in your case, your delicious cookies are good hints and tips about proper love making That you're trying to hand out and they don't even have to worry of maybe this this weird guy on the bus put something in those cookies Like they can eat this information because even there's no poison in words Metaphorical poison, maybe but like you know sack up Walk it off. I mean Poison, walk it off. That was some of your patented brutal trauma-informed Approach to love making and poison, uh, stick it up. Yeah. Yeah Uh, well, I'm glad Metaphorical poison then how are you ever going to walk off real poison like start training now Legitimate questions legitimate questions all I do like Iron and if you want to be sharp and poison free then start walking brother and sister in anyone frankly I'll come if you pluralized the brothers, but there was only one sister Did I pluralize it? Yeah, you pluralize brothers, but you didn't pluralize sister Yeah I just feel like there's maybe an interesting dynamic You know the royal sister Okay, the royal sister. Uh, all right. Yeah, that makes sense. That makes sense. I forget your royalty sometimes Well, I'm not I'm not a sister Oh You know, you're in there. I've I've had to be you know, I've had to be a soul sister um Just because a couple a couple times. I've been in some what you what you might describe as a sister act scenario but um So why would I describe it as a sister act scenario? That's probably the most like the way that if you got caught in a time loop You'd be described it as a groundhog day like you're cutting through the you're you're saving that having to describe the situation By describing the thing that most That most people are already going to be aware of that also informs like what the situation is at its heart There's going to be differences in details again sister act is is is Hollywood movie magic Whereas the things that happened to me were very very real and very dangerous Um, but anyway, I got out of them clean I am There's so much to unpacking that But I don't know that we have to have time at this point Well, get you get yourself some steve adores because it's got to get off this boat Sometime before it is boats ready to get loaded again. Well, this boats got places You're doing your steve adores, buddy. You're doing your steve adores. I haven't ever heard a union man. Well, and uh So i'm only going to use union labor to unload this boat. I'm not and i'm just going to call some some random guys Yeah, but when you're talking about love making no one wants scabs, right? No one wants scabs. Nope Union all the way Union through and through yep if if the person you're about to have sex with isn't in a union Um, and they're not in a profession that doesn't currently offer unions Then you're gonna have to you know look look for the union label is what i'm saying And if if you're with someone who's in a union make sure you clarify if it's a marital union or an actual like job union Because that also might complicate the issue. I'm not telling you how to live your life Yeah I mean a little bit. I'm telling you how to live your life a little bit I mean, you know, i'm not here making these mistakes for you guys. I'm living this life and I'm i'm not gonna lie. It's touching go most of the time Never feel real comfortable in it constantly putting my foot in my mouth and fucking things up And why do I do that? I do that so I can come here on on a saturday or sunday and let you the listeners Know what not to do and that my friends is more valuable than gold, but I give it to you for free because I love you all I feel like can we go back and put some music behind that speech Um, that's tricky because people own a lot of music and we don't own very much at all and um I don't want to i'm not a Song theft is is isn't what I call high society heisting by By a long long old dog mile, you know a dog mile Seven seven times as much as a regular mile That's a lot of math and I I didn't do it. I um so if you can just kind of tell me One is seven. Um I'll just I'll just hop in there. I'll I'll hop on that grenade for you and even yeah, thanks You welcome I'll hop i'll hop on a math grenade for you um Up it's probably going to blow me up, but I'll hop on it Wow Man, I I really appreciate that and and my Need like walk it off. It's it's a metaphorical grenade walk off those metaphorical harms They can't that's just wordplay and and uh That that's so they can't break bones man words can't break bones. We learned that in school You like you'd be a terrible war medic and relationship expert Well, it probably probably a better war medic than a relationship expert. I guess because most uh A lot of things are more metaphorical and relationship than an actual war zone You're probably not getting to hurt with words in a war zone I mean you are sitting here telling people to walk it off to a fairly serious emotional conditions I mean was that something you would bring to your war? You know That was pretty vague. It just you know Metaphorical poison the other thing we were talking about it was walking off. You know a math problem ultimately Do you think that that it's it's it's somehow harsh and and unyielding to tell people to walk off a math problem? Well I mean it depends where That math problem was seven times one Well, you made it you were the one who said math grenade and that's significantly up the scale of the problem I was thinking more of a math And so I was trying to meet I was trying to meet you where you lived there metaphorically with the level of fear That I heard in your voice that we all heard in your voice your voice is being recorded But that I I and I alone as the only one who can see you saw in your eyes your eyes were We're rigid with fear wide your mouth agape body trembling Like we're getting into consent here Roll for initiative. Uh-oh We just did the time I was like we we can end it now although now now I've ruined it by talking about How we could have just ended it there Yeah, well, that's cool I guess what have we learned is the question I think we need to ask I think we learned a lot today I think we learned um some really important concrete tips for uh romancing People as a dungeon master. Um, we we learned about consent uh, we learned about the difference between Scabs and uh And and our job sorry marital unions and job union unions and and you never want to Never want to have too much fun with scabs and sex and uh, we learned that uh nelson will throw himself on top of a math grenade for me, but only so he can tell me about it later I mean, I just I feel like I didn't even I didn't even I only got so much praise for jumping on the grenade and then and then it seemed like I was getting I was I was catching heat For for even thinking that the grenade needed jumped on when clearly it did listeners if you could have seen him It's like, you know, if someone had seen like a terminator walking around in real life It's it was that kind of face Right. He thought he's a terminator walking around. What kind of basement do you make? He was that face And not like a fun nader who's wearing an Arnold Schwarzenegger suit But like the terminators who are trying to who are just metal metal skeletons trying to murder you Dogs don't like them Dogs know from murder robots versus good robots. It's a lot of time like they're friendly with a good robot like But a bad robot don't like them Don't like them like you know chubaka he he and r2d2 they got along but He didn't he didn't like uh Like an evil droid like from the wars And c3p. Oh, he was kind of you know he was hit or miss on because c3p. Yo could be a lot But not a bad guy but a lot Yeah, precisely For the scientists out there. We all know chubaka is a dogman Double doos Thanks for listening. I don't know how you did But if you're trying to listen to more we're everywhere libson apple Google stitcher spotify fucking everywhere. That's right. We're a fine podcast or made we'll be there Also, you can reach out to us on social medias. We're at double doos pod on twitter We're a double doos podcast on facebook and our email is double doos pod at gmail.com Finally if you want to support us get our patreon on patreon.com backslash double doos pod Yeah, we got all kinds of stuff on there. We've got me talking about things i'm seeing We got extra minis like the minis you find in the decked dooses We got will sing in or if you want to pay for him not to sing there is a way to pay for no singing The world's your oyster all kinds of stuff all kinds of stuff so much stuff. That's patreon.com backslash double doos pod Yeah, yeah Sorry when you're like wherever fine podcast are found. I just kept thinking about that tom jones speech It's the end of grapes rat. It's like wait a minute. There's a cop beating on a fun podcast. We'll be there Double doos Good episode Have a good day.
