Welcome to the Double Doos podcast. An amazing show that lasts only 22 minutes and is for you, the listener. So soak it up. So here are your two big beer hosts. Will Avril and Nelson. Hey, Will, hit the timer. - Friend, we're in Double Doos. - Episode 200 and... - Oh, not even close. - So, 447. - You were just, you remember a couple of minutes ago when we were talking about doing the live 450, right? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Episode 438, 36. - You're going in the wrong direction. - 141. - No, like we already did the live 450. - God damn it. Okay, it's the best episode you ever thought about is episode 458. - Not now. - Or a 60. - Real close. - 461. - There you go. - All right. - That was, that was a rough one. - That was brutal. That was brutal. You know, I've had better, I've had worse. I gotta say for those of you who are not already signed up for the Patreon account, I just want to say I feel like I really outdid myself this month and this last month with my song. So, you know, if you've ever wondered that age old question, like why don't chicken sweat, then you need to get on Patreon and listen to that. - Yeah, he answers it. - It's a small fee monthly. Like less than the price of a cup of coffee every day for one month. - I haven't really bought coffee in a while, so I'm not sure, but it's four bucks gets you all the stuff that's really there. - For five bucks, you can get all of it without me singing if you're that way inclined. If you're an awful person who either hates my voice or doesn't like the sound of music. - Yeah. - Yeah. - You meaning to almost offer a $5 one where you can't hear the singing, but you just want to give us $5 or something. Just 'cause I feel like Keeser was having a goof when he signed up for that. And now he feels bad, he doesn't get the music, but he also doesn't, you know, he feels bad short-changing us after all this time. But I haven't ever gotten to be doing that, so. - Here's the thing I love about our Patreon. You know, it may not be making us like private yacht money, but it's definitely- - It's not even really mine. - It's not even really making us gas money. - Well, yeah, I mean, yeah. - No, technically no, but my point is like, we're on a very, very intimate level with our Patreon sponsors, like very intimate. So like, we'll get to know you. - It also pays for the hosting, which is, you know. We break even, it's slightly better than breaking even. - I'm a little disappointed in my mom 'cause she's not sponsoring us, and she like, we talk about her on the podcast all the time. - It's true. - Come on, mom, step it up. Don't be cheap. Like we said, it's just four dollars. - If you know my mom, tell her not to be such a cheap lady and sign up for the Patreon, and then you sign up for the Patreon, because you should support us too. Everyone should support us. We're hilarious. Yeah, that was my pitch. - Good pitch. - Thanks, you're writing notes, aren't you? - I am. I realized I shouldn't. - Yeah. - That makes sense. - We're all going on. I got notes, I got recording. I think this football game's going into overtime. - What? That's exciting. - Yeah. - Yeah. Hey, you know, it's football season again, and that means it's also chili season. Let me ask you a question. What's your hot take on beans and chili? Do you believe chili should have beans? - Um, like, I'm certainly down for putting beans in it. I prefer it with beans. I understand that people from Texas seem to imply that that's not chili, but I also feel like people from Texas, more or less stole all those recipes from Mexico who probably would put beans in it, because of what they say. - You just accused Mexico of being culturally appropriate, but also in apps because they stole the recipes, but they didn't realize they should beat me. - My guess is that Texas stole, I mean, you're telling me that the recipe for chili, they didn't basically steal the idea for that from Mexico. I find that hard to believe. - It's something I'm for Texas, no, but I'm just saying that you're throwing a lot at Texans. Like, you're saying not only did they fuck up the recipe, but they stole it and then they fucked it up. It's kind of what you're saying. - I feel like it's, it's show some more ingenuity. It's like put in more than meat and stuff. - Yeah. It's like me saying, hey, I'm gonna, I'm the one who invented the full English breakfast, but this shit needs pancake. And then make it a full English breakfast with pancake. - Even the English used beans in their breakfast, Texas. - That's true, that's true, and you trying to prove. - Yeah, yeah. - England conquered one up of the world for spices and then refused to use them for some reason. - It's true, it's true. - Did you know I wasn't aware of this, but I saw something the other day that apparently you know where tea bags were invented? - Is this gonna turn into a innuendo thing about getting a tea bag? - I'm not the sexual thing. I mean, actual little bags of tea that you steep in water to create tea, the drink. - I don't know, but I want a video, or sorry, an audio recording of you saying little bags of tea that you steep, like just to have as my ringtone or something. 'Cause that's adorable when you say little bags of tea that you steep breeze out your real low beside. - You can't put big bags of tea in there. You need a gigantic cup. - Right. I know. - This is, you're not a dainty motherfucker very often. So when you are a dainty motherfucker, it really pops, bro. - Yeah. - I just appreciated you. - That's fair. - Let me be nice to you, let me care about you. - Well, that got awkward. Damn. - The US is the answer. The US invented tea bags. - The little ones that you use to steepen your tea? - Yeah. - You have little bags? - Yep. I don't know. - Nothing's a little bag of fun. - If the English were using like the little metal balls or whatever, that you put the tea in, or if they are just like throwing the tea in there, all loose. - Oh, man. - Yeah, maybe. - That's how you used to read tea leaves, and just dumping the leaves from the bottom of the cup, and then looking at them for the messages from the gods. So maybe they just raw dog that tea. - Oh, oh, there is that classic British shanty. I just raw dog, raw dog, my tea. Oh, my, oh, me. A real beer house favorite. I just raw dog, my tea. Oh, my, oh, me. Maybe I'll sing that one for this month's will sing. So if you want to know, if I do or not, subscribe to the Patreon. - Yes. Keep him honest. (laughing) - Nelson, I need to do some talking at you about something important. - Mm-hmm. So we've been, by we, I mean, the wife and I, Jacqueline Guru now, we've been watching that rings of power show about the mouth. - That's our body. - Yeah, no, I gotta say, I'm liking that second season of that rings of power show a little better than the first season. - Yeah, I think, I kind of understand why they were trying to be all mysterious about identities, even though it seemed relatively obvious who people were supposed to be. - Right. - But I do appreciate now that they're not trying to be all sneaky about it. Getting to see like Sauron out in the open scheming and manipulating and getting up to his bullshit. I prefer more than the mystery of who are these guys. - Yeah, yeah. Well, I thought it was amusing 'cause, and this is some minor spoilers, but so if you're really into the rings of power enough that you absolutely don't want any spoilers, you might want to skip a little, I had a little bit here, but I thought it was interesting that when we meet Tom Bombadil, who, you know, I feel like the anticipation for those of us who are Lord of the Rings nerds, I mean, I don't know, I was pretty excited when I heard that this series is gonna touch on Tom Bombadil. - I'm disappointed my dad did not live to see Tom Bombadil in the flash because he was a big Tom Bombadil fan. - That makes sense to me. Your dad was kind of a Tom Bombadil guy himself, you know? He was like, I mean, he wasn't like older than the hills and the trees and stuff. - No. - I got an impressive mustache that was a kid that was a manfully salt and peppered, but... But he's interesting. And beyond the fact that he's a big guy who goes around singing a lot, he's interesting. The fact that he's purportedly the oldest character in the world that isn't divine or not, that we've never heard is divine. The fact that the ring had no effect on him when it has an effect on literally everybody else. - Yes, yes. My favorite thing that we now know, and I'm assuming this is now canon, if the show is canon, is that we have actually established that... - I think it's canon is like all the Peter Jackson stuff is live action canon. - Right, right, universe canon, like, you know, and that is certainly... - I feel like there's still all the, but all of this stuff comes from unfinished things that he wrote. So I feel like it's hard to hold that completely to canon because what would he have done with it before publishing it? Potentially a lot, potentially the stuff that people are like, well, that doesn't line up with the books, they're like, but he might have completely changed to all of that before he published it had he gotten around to publishing it. - Knowing that, he might have rewritten the whole damn trilogy for more times 'cause he liked the ring. - I mean, that was actually out there and everything, but nothing else. - Yeah. - But the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings, did he actually publish that was middle-earth related? Everything else was just notes and scribblings and, you know, scenes and what have you. - And I wanna go back to my point here. I've got a really salient point here that I wanna make to you and to our listening audience. - You are. - Right? Okay, so we get introduced to Tom Bombadil and it's not so much about how he is or what he says, but what I find interesting is how he says it because Tom Bombadil in the Rings of Power is rocking a Cornish accent. - Yeah. - And I know that because my friend Duncan Rowe, for a man who never listens to the podcast, either Shaiman you don't get, you're the godfather of my child and you don't subscribe to our Patreon. - And he's got no real excuse. Other people in England listen, so. - Yeah, exactly. - He can't use that excuse. - Stefan, if we were to give you a little of our Patreon money, would you go over and beat him up until he signs up for the Patreon account? We'll give you half his take every month. No, I shouldn't say that. I can get in real trouble. - Yeah. - I think I just, I think I just made myself an accessory before the fact. - I guess technically yes. - Yeah. Oh, it's English court. I won't get pulled over there. - You're all, it all goes like, I mean, because Stefan is already one of our patrons. So, like the money we'd be making on Duncan, then becoming a patron would be lessened by the fact that we'd be, you know, it's, what are we doing? - I don't know, I'm just thinking of the- - Because they go and box some English people, well. - I'm just, I'm just thinking of the whole conversation in court when Stefan gets pulled into court and they're like, oh, what's this saying? What's this saying? They're like, well, what's it, what's it? And they're like, oh, you, you done Hummold, Duncan on his tilly wuppet. And he'll be like, no. And I'll be like, yeah, that's fast, preventative. That's tilly wuppet in the third degree. And they'll say, no, I didn't tell Wuppet nobody. And they'll say, oh, it's off to the clink chain where you, in the old, when you're blessed with your boy. Ha ha. And then off when he had a fireman. Should've thought about that before you Hummold and then suddenly watch it. - I was gonna say he could just play, you know, this episode where you were encouraging him to do it and then blame the special relationship, you know, the political relationship between England and the US. But I feel like he's gonna have to hit stop real fast before you get into your court reenactment or else I don't think it's gonna help him. No matter how accurate that was to how British court system works, I don't think they like to hear it. And I mean, it's sort of like universe canon in English law. - Yeah. - I'm not sure that the, I'm not sure that assault is called a crumbly wuppet it, what's it? But I'm also not sure that it's not called that. So think about that. - Indeed fair, you already told, you gotta crack a crumbly what's it a couple of weeks ago. So. - Oh shit. I gotta get a new British phrase. Or I gotta just start telling everybody that that's the best British phrase. - Yeah. - 'Cause it can mean so many things. - A good one. - Yeah, yeah. Just rest assured that no matter what happens, I'll always be funnier than Russell Brand. - Yeah. - Yeah. Boy, howdy, that guy, he went for it. Anyway, back to my England thing, my Tom Bombadil thing. So Tom Bombadil has Cornish accent, which is also like technically, it's like the pirate accent a lot of the time. So my argument is in the world of Middle Earth, like the first being. - I feel like he's a little, it's like pirate captaining 'cause it's a little proper. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the first being was a pirate captain. That's what I was getting towards. And I think that is a fascinating fact about the Lord of the Rings universe. - Yeah. I'm also, I'm interested 'cause off the top of my head, I was trying to remember what the deal was with his special lady. And I'm not exactly what they were doing with the Gandalf who, you know, is clearly Gandalf, even though we still haven't told his name, hearing the woman singing. I was just like, is that just a magic going on or is there something weird going on with his special lady? - Carol, was she like a nymph or was she? I don't remember what she was. - She was the river's daughter, dude. - That's right, that's right. - Goldberry was the river's daughter. Now, I have to credit that one because I did not remember that. - You're looking up after the episode. - No, Grunau reminded me 'cause she's like, no, she never mentions this to people up front for good reason, but she's like a big Lord of the Rings appendices nerd, so she knows all that stuff. But yeah, she reminded me that Goldberry-- - 'Cause I read 'em. And again, they don't pop up anywhere, but in the book. So, and just the one. - Yeah, and then only briefly. But I feel like in the same way that in the Hobbit, like Bjorn is this real comforting presence 'cause he's kind of removed from everything that's going on. I feel like Tom Bombadil's like the super comforting presence. And so I was a little, like, I don't feel like he didn't give me the warm fuzzies quite enough, you know? It seemed like the guy was congenial, but also in the buildings. - Maybe a special lady takes a few of his rougher edges off. - Yeah, but to me-- - Also I like-- - This was a beautiful meadow, and now it's a desert. And so, you know, he's got his own problems. - Yeah, and I think he also says, like, the last dude like you who came by was really fucking evil. So, you know, he might be a little hesitant to be, like, all warm fuzzies with him. - Well, now everyone's trying to be like, it's clearly Saruman. And I'm like, is it not? He's clearly Saruman coded, but it doesn't make much sense to me that Saruman would, like, come and be an evil wizard in trying to take over part of mental earth. And then a while later, they're like, you know what, forget all that. You could be head of the White Council and leave the power against Saruman when you were trying to partner with him. - I mean, I understand that that's probably why they're coding him that way, 'cause he's Saruman-esque. But don't track for me, for him to be. But at the same time, it didn't track for me, for him to be any of the ones we know about. I'm just wondering if they have made another one, or if he's just a dude that was serving Morgoth, who was still around. - Or hear me out, hear me out. It's a cross-universe nod. It's a multiverse where Ciaran Hines, who played Man's Raider, King of the North, and Game of Thrones, actually ended up in Middle Earth. He's walking through a portal and ended up in Middle Earth, and now he's like, oh, I'm gonna grow my beard out and be evil. - Learn to do some magic. Or maybe-- - Learn to do some magic. - Ciaran Hines, Julius Caesar, who is-- - Oh, yeah, yeah. - He dies of arch into Middle Earth. - Yeah, I mean, that makes almost more sense when you think about it. - Yeah. - Yeah, which Ciaran Hines do you think went into the Lord of the Rings multiverse? Let us know, #-- - Is it the one from Munich who gets honey potted and murdered? - Oh, yeah, that's a good Ciaran Hines. - It could be literally any of them. It could. - It could. - I know it, not Sarmon, or at least it really shouldn't be. It would make no sense. - Yeah, I'm also-- - Yeah, 'cause you have the thing-- - You have the thing beard. That's, I'm gonna need more. - I also keep laughing 'cause Jack referred to Elrondas as Elf Huey the other night, and I can't now get the fact that he looks so much like Huey from the boys out of my head. I think that's really funny, like Elf Huey. - It's also a little funny how he's being such a little bitch about the rings when he ends up wearing one for a really long time. - Yeah, well, you know they're building that up, so it's like, oh, he's not infallible either. - He's also, I mean, technically, much younger than the three who are wearing them now. - Yeah, yeah. Wow, they don't really point that out so much, but-- - Yeah, I can't remember how old he is at that point, but not that old. - Yeah, I don't know. I don't really like, like Elrond's. - I think it's a time lines are different in the show than they are even in the histories, technically, 'cause they're really condensing the hell out of the second age, which I think it works 'cause otherwise, what are you gonna tell a 3000 year story in the show? Seems hard. - Yeah, well, this is a foundation, people. - It's part of why the sun really is kind of a tough read at times because you're like, all right, so 800 years later, huh? Cool. - Yeah, yeah, it makes it hard to follow, you know, particular characters, and you know, I mean, there's some authors who do stuff like that, like Edward Rutherford, but he also follows families through like the lineages in multiple generations and shit. So you still got a little bit of a feeling for who's who, some of the time. Oh, wow, that's our time. It's got so fast. - Yeah, we mostly talked about rings of power in the English judicial system and-- - And the fact that the first man in tokens universe was a pirate. - A pirate captain. - A pirate captain nonetheless. - A gentleman of the sea. - There you go. So if you wanna, you know, if you wanna really make yourself and your ancestors proud, be a pirate this Halloween, or be Tom Bombadil, or be Tom Bombadil the pirate, don't limit yourself. - Maybe he showed up at middle earth to be a pirate and then was like, wait, there's nobody else here to pirate against. I guess I'll be a farmer of sorts, and hang out, and make-- - Yeah, like try to, like, sit by a stream and try to hook up with the river's daughter. - Yeah. - Yep. - I mean, you might as well. He's got the time to play the long game there. - There you go. Just hanging out, being a green man, trying to get laid by the river. - I'm interested to watch him teach Gandalf magic. - I'd hope it's a montage. - I would assume so, but I hope so. - It was a montage to Zana do. - Yeah. - You have to believe that we are magic. No one can stand in a way. ♪ I mean, that would be good. ♪ Top five montage songs for Gandalf learning magic from Tom Bombadil. I guess you've already given me the number one. - Are you ready for the Sex Girls' number two from the Revenge of the Nerds montage? Playing with the boys from Top Gun? - That would be a good one, and pretty apt, because it's just two dudes to get alone in the desert doing magic. - Like to get to know you well, which I believe is the montage of building the car from Better Off Dead. - Yeah. ♪ I like to get to know you well ♪ ♪ I like to get to know you well ♪ ♪ So we can't belong ♪ ♪ Can't belong to a girl ♪ - Which would be a little weird for Gandalf and... But you know what, keep it, fuck it, keep it. I like it, I like it. - Well, I mean, we need to get it off with like to get to know Tom Bombadil well, because he's teaching him magic and he knows magic. - Is it technically a montage music, but I think weird science, just because I think that'd be a hilarious montage for a couple of wizards training. - Yeah, magic gets weird sometimes. - It does, it does, it's a weird science. - I think all of those work. Maybe already ready for the sex girls doesn't work quite as well, but, you know. - That's all the time magic. - I mean, they're doing like stop me, it was after magic at that point, like they gotta have to argue. - Maybe he's working a little bit where he's gotta learn the arts of seduction to learn how to do magic. - Oh my God, why do we not have that '80s movie? Why is there not an '80s movie? Like, this is our last semester at Hogwarts after this stuff, we don't get laid by the end of the summer. We're gonna have to go to the Ministry of Magic with as virgins. - No, we gotta learn, we gotta spend the summer trying to get, I think we do a sketch on that. - He did it, but I don't think we actually came at it from that angle of an '87, exactly. I think it was maybe a little '86 Rafi, but we didn't hit it that precisely. - Well, there you go, that movie's waiting for someone. - That's where we made the mistake. - You can have that log line courtesy of Double Du, just shout us out if you make the movie. - Yes, we wanna be wizards. - We do, in anything. - Make us wizards. - We'd be wizards in heat too. In fact, that's one of the things at the top of our list, make us wizards in heat too. - This is not an ask, it's like a demand, but a demand without any way to back it up. - This is a very subtle blackmail. We aren't getting into what's gonna happen if you don't, but rest assured, you don't want it. - I'll give you a hint, it involves not-- - That's what I mean, you just ask Applebee's how that works. - And it's gonna have a lot of me singing-- - We're running out of town. - Running at you singing in public places. - Yup, speaking of Applebee's Double Du's. (laughing) - This has been Double Du's podcast. If you thought the intro sounded bad, this outro sound even worse. - Thanks for listening, I don't know how you did, but if you're trying to listen to more, we're everywhere. Libson, Apple, Google, Stitcher, Spotify, fucking everywhere. - That's right, we're a fine podcaster made. We'll be there. Also, you can reach out to us on social medias. We're @doubleducepod on Twitter. We're a double duce podcast on Facebook, and our email is doubleducepod@gmail.com. Finally, if you wanna support us, get our Patreon on Patreon.com/doubleducepod. Yeah, we got all kinds of stuff on there. We got me talking about things I'm seeing. We got extra minis, like the minis you find in the decked duces. We got Will singing. Or if you wanna pay for him not to sing, there is a way to pay for no singing. The world's your oyster. All kinds of stuff. - All kinds of stuff. - So much stuff. That's patreon.com/doubleducepod. - Yeah! - Yeah! - Sorry, when you're like, wherever fine podcasts are found, I just kept thinking about that Tom Jones speech. It's the end of "Grapes to Rat." It's like, wait, wait, wait, wait. There's a cop beating on a fine podcast. We'll be there. (laughing) Double duce! - Good episode. - Bye, everybody!
