Beyond the Green, into the Greys
Enjoying Melancholy
(upbeat music) Beyond the green and into the grace, sharing my life with you your truly hyphenated grace. (upbeat music) There is a veil of melancholy that shrouds human life. I have felt a deep sense of sadness take over my life, even when I go through some of the happiest moments. While happiness is often time bound, sadness just lingers, refuses to leave, and sometimes grows on you over time. When I was in school, I used to feel these moments very vividly. It would be an indescribable feeling, a feeling that cannot be explained, but is very real and tangible. Once it was the beginning of a vacation, I was all ready to go home. My clothes were packed and my bags were in the office room. I was dressed and excited to spend the next two weeks at home. You see, I was in a boarding. I was dressed and excited to spend the next two weeks at home. I was impatient as I waited. I remember I was wearing a light green dress with black and green patterns across. I kept looking out for my parents. It was already getting late into the evening. I watched as my friends waved goodbye and wished happy holidays. Then my parents came and I was thrilled. In another hour I was on my way. As I watched the view outside, listening to my parents discuss plans for the holidays, I realized that I was no longer excited. In fact, I felt sad. A sense of loss descended on me. It was overwhelming, but it was real. I could feel tears in my eyes. There was nothing to cheer me on as I watched the world pass by. I didn't feel like the 13-year-old that I was dead. I felt a pain scalding through myself. It was a visitor pain and I shut my eyes. I heard my parents mentioning how tired I must have been to fall asleep so fast. It was not the first or the last time when Melently took control over me. Every time I sensed that there is nothing in this world, but this pervading sense of sadness. Every moment of our life is, in fact, yet another skillful attempt to evade it and move on. Sometimes I fall into its depths and let myself be there and then weighed out of it sometimes with a smile. But I know there is no other feeling that is as real as this sadness. Have you felt this too? Like myself, have you found it hard to keep yourself safe from the misery of it? I know it's almost impossible. Yet we try and smile through. We know that there is no reason, no cause for this misery, but it just stays just around the corner, just near the corner of the eyes, like a glistening teardrop, just there, just beyond. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) (upbeat music) [BLANK_AUDIO]