In this episode. I decided to share some laughter with the world when I thought of two feminine hygiene product commercials that I remembered as a child! "THAT'S IT! DOWNLOAD AND YOU'LL HEAR THE REST 😏🫡🤨!"
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”MEMORY LANE!!!!”
*inhale* Oh my... What is going on all of our people of the planet? I am Dave and I'm in. Please allow me to raise your vibration. *inhale* Okay, look you guys. The reason why I am laughing is because... Well, remember the episode where I was acting you all every- *laughs* *inhale* *inhale* Remember that episode? Hold on, let me get a drink of wine real quick. Oh my god, only me will think of some crazy ass shit that I'd be thinking about and I'm going to share with you guys. Hold on one second, I suggest you I go get some wine, roll a blunt, smoke a blunt, you know, get in laughter mode with me. Hold on one second, you guys. *laughs* *inhale* *inhale* I'm sitting here working on my website for my pod-bean podcast and... *clears throat* I'm just thinking about shit, I was thinking about that AT&T commercial that I was telling you guys about, with the FuTi Minai Chen Minan Chen and I started thinking about all these- *laughs* I started thinking about all these other random commercials and I was a child. *laughs* I was a child when these commercials came up that I am about to, you know, force you out to remember. Let me get another drink of wine. *inhale* Oh wait, I want y'all to just reflect back on your child! *laughs* I'm your child! *laughs* And just think about certain commercials that were popular back in them days. Now, the main commercials I want y'all to think about are female related. And it has to do with the Gucci. *laughs* And these were products back in the days. But the names of these products, who comes up with the names for these certain products? Like certain pills, traffic anemia, I'm just naming something. I'm not sure there's a pill called traffic anemia. Hopefully there isn't. But it's just interesting how pharmaceutical, the pharmaceutical industry and doctors and shit like that be coming up with these names for different things. And it's just, I don't know, I just think it's goach. I find it goach. Let me get some more wine. *inhale* But, I was sitting here, just laughing. And I'm like, why not share this laughter with the world? And that's what I'm about to do, as soon as I get a little tipsy. But yeah, commercials are a trip. And then they try to, in so many ways, not tell you what the commercial is about. But, as a child, you knew a dish product and stuff. I mean, at a certain age, you knew what that was pretty much related to. Because I believe both, no, one of them is a dish product. And the other one is a product that killed all semen, if I'm not mistaken. Yeah, when I tell you all these names, yeah, if you don't, I don't, let me get some more wine. *clears throat* Okay. So, one of the commercials that I remember back in the days that was sexual-related, and I think I had to do with killing the sperm after a night of sex, was called Semicid. I said Semicid! Who the fuck is Semicid? *laughs* I said, who, I mean, I'm young, and that name still sticks with me until this particular day. Semicid, can you imagine naming your child Semicid? Semicid! I can't be too loud because my neighbors are probably sweet, which I know they aren't. But, I mean, can you just imagine naming your puppy Semicid? Semicid! Could, can you see Semicid? That is not cute. Who came up with the name Semicid? Do anybody remember that motherfucking commercial? I forgot how that commercial went. I don't know if they had a bitch on there. That experienced a night of sex, and she was worried, and she put that cream of her coochie, and that was supposed to have killed the sperm. I'm imagining that's how Semicid went. I should have been looking to shit up before I started talking about it, but I remembered the commercial. Somebody out there, remember, comment, please. Somebody remembers his motherfucking commercial. Tell me how it went, because I've totally forgot how Semicid commercial went. She wasn't running down no beach. That's a whole 'nother commercial than I'm about to talk about. That's a whole 'nother commercial than I'm about to talk about in a few minutes. She wasn't running down no beach. This bitch was frantic, I do believe. Back in them days, she was frantic about that night that she had prior to Semicid up her motherfucking coochie, and trying to kill off that man's sperm, and them kids. Bitch, you shouldn't have spread your little house. Sometimes you don't have to spread your legs. Sometimes you could stand up in a right position, and that dick would just go right up in that coochie. Just like some people that I seen in Chicago, she was both in the right position. Her skirt was up, he was behind her, and he was bumping and grinding. It was like no different than this one couple that I seen when I was on methamphetamine. I cleaned up myself, but I didn't even touch him myself. I'm not lying to y'all. He was bumping and grinding her behind one of them motherfucking electric. What is it about these damn electrical boxes that people would like to piss behind and shit behind and fucking suck behind? With it, I think I was fucking sucking behind one of them motherfuckers. Ooh, baby. But anyway, it's something about these electrical boxes. But yeah, he was bumping behind her so good, and a child. Yeah, it's funny. Yes, and I was on methamphetamine too. I didn't even have to touch myself. But back to Simmy said. Who out there used Simmy said? Excuse me, maybe get some more wine. Who out there back in the days used Simmy said to kill out somebody's motherfucking sperm. And don't be looking at your girlfriend all side-eyed and shit like that, bitch. You know you stuck that motherfucking tube in your pussy. You know your motherfucking heads did that shit too, bitch. Don't be looking at your girlfriend all side-eyed and shit. Who put Simmy said out the motherfucking coaching back in the days? Honey and tried to kill off that motherfucking semen after a night of hot passionate sex. Y'all are, oh, y'all are some murders. Okay, anyway, I'm getting a nice little buzz. You guys, I am drinking the rest of my pink muscato. I said pink muscato earlier, pink muscato. And it is by barefoot. It is a great value, 216 ultimate wine challenge winner. And it's getting me faded. Faded enough to think about these crazy ass commercials and these names behind it. But I'm serious though, you know, comment and let me know if y'all remember the Simmy said commercial and how it went. And it was, what's the peel? Or was it some cream? I thought it was a peel. Well, I thought it was cream, but now I'm thinking it's a peel that you took. I'm gonna have to look this up. Damn. Oh, my laptop. Hold on one second. Let me get a drink of wine. We gonna find out about Simmy said. Find out which y'all women been putting up y'all couches to kill off these men's babies. The laptop. Brand new page. How do you spell Simmy said? I think it has something to do with Siemens so S.E. Hold on you guys. Okay. They got Simmy said. Simmy said. Hold on one second. Okay, hold on you guys. Okay, it says C. I have Microsoft Bing. That's what I'm using for my browser. And it says here C. Simmy said female peel. Let me stroll down. It's a spermicide. I knew it bitch. I knew it. Okay. Let me bring my microphone over here real quick. Okay. It's a spermicide. How do you use benefits, risks and effectiveness? I don't know how old I was. You guys when this commercial came out. Tell me I need to see this commercial. I need to see it right. You too got this commercial. I promise you. I need to look at it. If you decide to use this spermicide, it's important to use it correctly every time. And follow the instructions on the package. The instructions will vary depending on what type of spermicide you use. The general guidelines for using spermicides are. You need to insert this spermicide deep into the vagina. Bitch. It should read more. Hold on. Where was that? Okay. Here we go. You know how women know exactly what I'm talking about because half of you. I bet you stuck this shit right up. You have motherfucking couches honey. Right up to some damn sex. And it's a spermicide for being holes. Okay. The general guidelines for using spermicides are. You need to insert spermicide deep into your vagina. It should be inserted at least 10 to 15 minutes before sex for HP effective. Most spermicides are only effective for 60 minutes. Damn. I did not realize that. So y'all. Bitch has only had 60 minutes to kill out these motherfucking men as babies. Oh my goodness. Real class spermicide each time you have sex. Never watch out or remove spermicide after sex. So you must leave this shit in. Bitch after you have sex. Baby, I'm so glad I'm not a woman. Nothing else should go into this. I was sorry. I'm sorry y'all. I'll walk up in the microphone. Okay. It says nothing else should go into your vagina for at least. What is going on? Hold on. Okay. It says I hit the music thing where I exited. Okay. It says nothing else should go into your vagina for at least six hours so it can continue to work. Damn. So y'all bitches can do nothing. No dildos. Nothing can go up in y'all vagina. There's no snakes. No nothing. So it says all spermicides work by preventing sperm from fertilizing. Hey, I don't see, see, see. Let me get some ROI. Hold on. I set my microphone down just a second, you guys. See, what need to happen is me need to be lining y'all asses up and beating the fuck down that we stop playing. You know, this could have been a rape situation or something of that particular nature and something that's needed to happen, unfortunately. I'm glad I'm not trying to have children with nobody. Let's get back to the same, you see it, and then we get to the next commercial that I was thinking about. Okay, I need to move this. I was almost about to stop the recording, you guys, by accident. So I had to move my phone from my lap because that would have been pissed off if that would have happened. Okay, what are the different types of spermicides? So all spermicides work by repeating sperm from fertilizing an egg. Spermicides come in many forms and are applied in different ways. You can select the option that works best for you. Be sure to read the directions on the package and wash your hands before applying. Try to sell, wash all that nut of your hands or whatever else of your hands, germs, whatever. Okay, spermicide, gel, cream, or jelly. I've got three different types of gel, the cream, or the jelly bitch. Okay, gels, creams, and jellies typically come in tubes and contain an applicator similar to a tampon applicator. The benefit of spermicide in these forms is that it can double as a lubricant. Oh, okay, first through the applicator, according to the instructions, make sure the applicator is inserted deep into the vagina before releasing spermicide. These are most effective. These are most effective when applied 10 to 15 minutes before intercourse. Okay, so you can use it before damn it. Make sure you kill them off. I'm going to ask you to apply this shit 10 to 15 minutes before intercourse, honey, to make sure them walls are lubricated with this damn killer. Okay, let's go down. Oh, they have phones, bitch, spermicide phones. Spermicide phones. Spermicide phones come in an aerosol can. I'm sorry, you guys. I do apologize. I don't mean to make fun of women. What do you call these things? The products, but damn, an aerosol can. Spermicide phones come in an aerosol can, and they contain an applicator. Damn, so the can has an applicator to it. You will fill the applicator with, you will fill the applicator with the phone according to the directions on the package. Typically, you have to shake the cane. Typically, you have to shake the cane to activate the phone before dispensing the spermicide. You have to activate this. Women, I have to give it to y'all. Y'all go through a lot when it comes to y'all tunnels, and I just couldn't imagine. I used to imagine wanting to have a vagina, but I don't. Yeah. No. This type of spermicide has about 30 minutes, so you should have intercourse within that time. Boy, you better hope you have a quickie, you know, or something that's that particular nature because a lot of motherfuckers don't be nuttin' within 30 minutes. Somebody's motherfuckers relax in a long time, so this spermicide can only last for 30 minutes, so you should hurry up and basically fuck. Okay. Spermicide suppositories. This type of spermicide comes in a tablet that melts once it's inside the vagina. I thought it was about to say once it's melted in your mouth. This motherfucker melts inside the vagina, so you stick this shit. I think I would rather have this one. It's just you inside my vagina so you could just melt, bitch. And we can, yeah, we can just get rid of how many of these, I was trying to say babies. I don't want to say that because that's rude. But, anyway, this type of spermicide comes in a tablet that melts once inside the koochie. Like other forms, you meet and search the suppository as close to the cervix as possible, and at least 10 to 15 minutes before sex. You may feel it dissolved, but not always. Ugh. Spermicide condoms. We should know about that. Spermicide films. A small thin sheet of film that's inserted inside the vagina as close to the cervix as possible. It's coated in spermicide and fully, and it fully melts once inside of your vagina. It needs to be inserted at least 15 minutes before intercourse, so it has to dissolve. What's this shit about? When did this stuff come out? Oh, my goodness. I'm trying to think about it. Was that in school when I've seen this commercial? I'm trying to think. I'm not sure. I don't know if girls was doing this stuff back in high school, but they were having rainbow parties and shit like that. Yeah, I don't know what rainbow parties are. What they have lifesavers and a certain lifesaver color means a certain sexual act. Baby, anyway, moving on. So they have the spermicide film, and this must be inserted at least 15 minutes before intercourse, so it has time to dissolve. I can't wait till we get to our next one. Spermicide sponge. A soft, small sponge containing spermicide is moistened with water. Once it's wet, you insert sponge into your vagina. The benefit of this method is you can insert the sponge up to 24 hours prior to intercourse. However, you must leave the sponge in for at least 6 hours to have to intercourse. Wait a minute. So, you take the sponge out. Wait a minute. Let me read that again because you've taken it out, then you put it back in your couch. Hold on. A soft, small sponge containing spermicide is moistened with water. Once it's wet, you insert the sponge into your vagina. The benefit of this method is you can insert the sponge up to 24 hours prior to intercourse. However, you must leave the sponge in for at least 6 hours after intercourse. Oh, so you've got to have the sponge inside of you. Why are you fucking? It's one of the more expensive forms of spermicide available. There's new contraceptive gel similar to spermicide called sexy. See, this is what I'm talking about. How do you come up with these motherfucking names? Sexy, P-H-E-X-X-I. Who the fuck is sexy? It works in the same way. You place it in a vagina before sex and it prevents sperm from meeting in A. This is available by prescription only. Okay, I'm done with child women. Where is my- where is my own drink? Now, let me look up this other one. I remember this one by the motherfucking name, bitch. Yes, right here. That's the woman. That's the woman from the commercial. Oh, my God, that's the other woman for the commercial. Oh, my God. There she is. I need to take pictures of this shit. Okay, where's my wine? Hold on, you guys. Let me put my microphone back. For a second. Oh, my God. Y'all need to get on the internet right now. Put- turn your- I'm going to give y'all a split second to turn on your internet. Right now, I'm going to turn on your computers right now. Hurry up, you guys. Hurry up. Oh, my God. And then when you see the women on the boxes, you are going to flip out and be like, "Oh, my God, that is some sane bitches that I remember." Especially the yellow box. The broad with the yellow all. She got a yellow bathing suit on. [Laughs] Okay. Let me grab my microphone. Okay. Okay. Who remembers? [Sighs] Before I get into this one, you have a number of porn on- I'm sorry, I don't mean to go there. But it was Cinemax. Y'all remember Cinemax back in the days? And do y'all remember a flick called Emmanuel? Emmanuel, it was a porn. She was a porn, but I think she was French. Emmanuel was fucking everybody on ships. On the shore. On the bay line. Emmanuel didn't give a damn. Emmanuel was fucking okay. That's my grandmother. This is a baby. I would be watching something regular, not regular, but like a, you know, a PG program. So speaking to her ass, went to bay as her a grams. But when she fell, when she goes off to sleep, honey, I turned that motherfucking shit right up on. I think it was HBO. No, it was on Cinemax. And I would watch me some of Emmanuel. And Emmanuel was no punk. Okay. Now, who, where is my weed? I gotta get myself set up for this one. Okay, y'all gotta check my pictures on. [Laughs] I'm going to spell the name out. It's M-A-S-S-E-N-G-I-L-L. Say it with me, you guys. Massingale. Who do not remember the motherfucking massingale commercial or massingale commercials? Because there were several of them beaches running down their beach with bloods dripping down their motherfucking thighs. [Laughs] I just, they didn't really have no blood drippin' out of their thighs. So I was just over exaggerating. But I'm just saying, especially the one broad with the box that she's looking at it right now. [Laughs] The box that, the box that she's on. She has this all white outfit on. Bitch, your ass is not pure honey. You write it down to motherfucking massingale. Who named, can you imagine your motherfucking parents name you massingale? Oh my goodness, aside from that, the commercial. Let me see if there is some more massingale boxes. But, oh, look at these broads. Oh my goodness, now you can just picture the commercials on. Go to YouTube. I bet your YouTube has all type of massingale commercials. Oh my god, massingale. Oh my god. S.E. Massingale Company was a pharmaceutical company funded and, or founded in 1898. We are learning something about female products you guys tonight. By Samuel Evans. Samuel Evans massingale. That's a, what did he know about? Let me read this again, Chuck. I'm thinking about this whole dude that know about kuchi products. S.E. Massingale Company was a pharmaceutical company funded by, founded in the biggest of all wine. Let me put my microphone down real quick, you guys. I should be meditating instead of talking to you individuals about fucking dush products and damn baby killers. Well, I mean, not saying it like that, but, you know, I mean, you just send me to say what it is. Okay, I just finished my wine. Now look, let me grab my microphone. Massingale dush, vaginal uses, side effects and warnings. Massingale dush is a vinegar based product used to increase vaginal acidity, acidity. It may be used for bacterial infections and other conditions. You know what? What are my friends when I used to live as a woman? I sudden massingale right on my motherfucking ass and I dush with that shit. I sure to fuck dead. I sure did, and I use other dush products as well. There's a certain man out there to make sure that even if they're not having anal sex. You know, some people want to be fresh and clean and make sure that the tunnel is clear of, you know, no different than you damn brackety ass bitches. You know, I mean shit. They want to make sure they motherfucking tunnels. We, we, meaning men, want to make sure that our tunnels are nice and clean and fresh just as motherfucking well. We want to have a summer's eve day when we running down the motherfucking beach. Bitch, with our hair swinging down, our motherfucking ass is going to the back. Cut the way and blowing some motherfucking heart. And we have all that white knowing we dripping blood from the back. The camera man ain't filming that and he want to film everything in front of motherfucking front because of the baby anyway. Mass and kill. S.E. Mass and Kill Company was a pharmaceutical company founded in 1898. Excuse me. By Samuel Evans Mass and Kill, who graduated from the University of Nashville Medical School but decided to manufacture drugs rather than practice medicine himself. By 1937, he employed more than 200 people in this dog, this dog, Tennessee, including six graduate pharmaceutical chemists. In 2011, it was purchased by Prestige Brands, not known as Prestige Consumer Healthcare. Okay, whatever that means, but yeah. Mass and Kill does. You know what? I need to see the commercial for S.E.M. you see it and I need to see the commercial for Mass and Kill. So let me go to YouTube right now. Okay. Mass and Kill. Why am I up with you motherfucker talking about Mass and Kill? I have other things to do besides me on my damn platform. My pipe being platformed. Fucking with my down loaders talking about Mass and Kill in Sammy's seat. And y'all got me looking up commercials. No videos? Just like you spilled Mass and Kill. Damn, no Mass and Kill commercials. S.E.M. you see it? Damn, no commercials on S.E.M. you see it? That's crazy and I remember this shit and it don't have no commercials? Wow, I'm really shocked with YouTube that usually has some of everything else. Oh wait. Search across channel. Now hold on real quick, I'm in my YouTube studios. Okay, hold on one second you guys. Okay. Okay, hold on one second. Okay. I'll go back. Mass and Kill dooge commercial. I knew I was going to find it. Y'all need to go to YouTube right now, right now, right now. Two female friends have a typical discussion about those, about some vinegar and water disposable dish. Look. Hold on, hold on. Living in YouTube, customizing my car insurance. I saved hundreds with all the money I saved. Thought I'd buy still a super name. Cool, look, no. I got some dye out laughing you guys. No more vinegar and water dishes for me. They're such a bother. Jane, look, massing in has a new vinegar and water disposable dish. It's convenient. No artificial anything, just vinegar and water? The ingredients, many doctors wrote it in. No more bother. Look how cleverly it's to summon. Only massing in has been special. She's looking at it like it's a deal. I wanted disposable from massing y'all. It's specially designed. Baby? I don't know. Let me find another one, you guys. Did I gotta find Simmy Seed? Okay, one second. They got all type of massing you, commercial. Let me see this one. Mom? Oh, this is something real personal. Teacher? I forgot about this commercial. Hold on, you guys. Let me go back and say it was she. Oh, this is something real personal. Oh, thank you guys. I forgot she was walking down the beach or whatever with her mammy. Oh my God, listen to the commercial. Listen to the commercial, you guys. Mom? Okay, this is something real personal. Teacher? What should I do? But I'm in this mass program. How many women out there, children, daughters, have asked them, do they, basically, do they dish? Just like this woman did. But I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh about that. It's a female thing that happens. Females, you know, y'all go through this stuff. Y'all believe in whatever else case may be. I don't have to worry about all that. Thank God, I don't. But just the way she looked at her, act to her mother. It could be her real mama. But just the way she looked at her. She was just very serious. But then again, the kind of little that she wanted to laugh too. Yeah, I had to look at the commercial. Oh my goodness. Go get on YouTube right now. I have better things to do besides fuck with y'all. Get on YouTube right now and look up to this motherfucking killer show. Oh my goodness. Okay, hold on one second. Let me finish watching. Oh my goodness. And then she grabbed her by the damn hair and that type of shit. You'll see how clean and fresh I think he'll make she feel. That's right. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. And then she grabbed her by the damn hair and that type of shit. You'll see how clean and fresh I think he'll make she feel. Baby. Okay, let me look at this one. Oh, they're driving in the car. Hold on. That was pretty quick. I don't know if y'all want to hear that one or not. Basically they were just driving in the car. And she asked her mom when she just said that funky feeling. That funky feeling pretty much and you know, yeah. Let me find another one. Damn. Damn. Damn. I have a massing gill commercial. Y'all need to smoke all type of motherfucking weed. Pop all type of shrooms and just look at massing gill. Okay. Let me look at this one. Look at this bitch beating honey. She got makeup powder and all that type of shit. And she all that this did. They got a black piece of fish. Hold on. Oh. It's called a mad dude shout baby. I am really up with you motherfucker talking about dish products. Hold on real quick. I will never feel you know, not so fresh. My down loaders, do you ever feel you know, not so fresh? Okay, I'm done with massing gill. Where is same you said? This is what I need to see. How did these bitches react in this same you see a commercial? Simi said commercial commercial. Is this a Simi see a commercial? Uh uh. They have more massing gill commercials than what they didn't even have any Simi say commercials because they know what that shit is really about. So they're not fucking with Simi say it. At least YouTube. You know, they're not fucking with Simi say it. But I cannot believe that I sat on here with you guys for 40 something minutes talking about some motherfucking female. But JJ products. But I couldn't stop. I mean, I was dying out laughing earlier. I was sitting here. Like I said, I was focusing on my website. Just minding my own business. And you know how your mind just pop up with something. And you could be sitting on a bus. And you just bust out laughing. And I just started cracking up. And I'm just like, oh my god. I have to share this laughter with the world. And this is what it's all about in regard to lifting the vibrations of the universe. So if I can bring some laughter into the world. Hopefully, you know, I was able to raise some of your vibrations tonight. Alright, I'm going to end this particular episode. But I just had to go there. But until my next episode, you guys, I will see you guys next time. I will see you guys next time. Okay, now let's stay. [BLANK_AUDIO]