Part 1: Why Your Child Shouldn’t Have a Smartphone Until 16: Shocking Truths Revealed!
Welcome to “Technology and Media with Dr. Davin Tan,” where we delve into the profound impact of modern technology on our lives. In this episode we address a pressing question for many parents: When should children be allowed to have their own smartphones?
Join us as we explore surprising statistics about early smartphone ownership and discuss the potential risks and benefits of these powerful devices for young, developing minds. Dr. Tan shares practical advice for parents, emphasizing the importance of setting clear boundaries, utilizing parental controls, and maintaining open communication with your child.
Tune in to gain valuable insights and make informed decisions about your child’s digital life. Stay involved, provide guidance, and keep the lines of communication open to ensure your child’s well-being in the digital age.
**If your household has not yet considered the principles or there are certain pillars that are not yet built or developed in your space...then I tend to err on the side of caution and say no to smartphones. If you are unsure, I would hold, delay, don't succumb to pressure.
Hey folks I just wanted to add an addendum to this episode because I had a number of you very rightly asked me questions about how if I can be clearer on the messaging in this episode I have decided to put the addendum at the front of the episode because I thought it'd be important to just address this now and then when you listen to the rest of the episode it should hopefully make more sense so just to be clear I do err on the side of being cautious around cell phones with children but I do talk about the importance of recognizing risks and responsibilities the pros and the cons and understanding your child's individual needs and your particular unique contexts however there are a number of important things caveats that you have to bear in mind and things that you need to have in your home before you even consider having a smartphone in my opinion things like open lines of communication and respect for digital citizenship being able to adhere to online safety rules being clear on roles in responsibilities I think also making sure that you have considered your chance ability to delay impulses and delay gratification and you know you also need to survey their peer group and whether it's appropriate for your children to have a smartphone in that context if all of those things are absent from your considerations and your deliberations and you're not sure it's better to err on the side of not giving a child a smartphone but listen to the rest of the episode and I hope that it gives you some assistance in your deliberations around whether yes or no so anyway I hope you like the episode I hope it's helpful if you do have any questions please do send us an email hello at huddlewisdom.com and I will respond to to those through either podcast format blog format or directly by email because I do have a day job and I try my best to get to my huddle wisdom emails but sometimes I never get to them quick enough all right without further ado this is the episode I will play now thanks friends bye hey what's going on my friends welcome to the parenting with huddle wisdom podcast my name is Devin I'm a child psychiatrist and I am a dad this is part one of a podcast series I've called technology and media this episode why your child should not have a smartphone until they are 16 shocking I know I know this is my thing I have sent this rule together with my wife in our house because that we believe is a suitable and appropriate rule for our personal situation it's gonna be different for your situation I don't know your situation I don't know your circumstances I don't know your children okay you're you're going to have to adjust your rules for your own personal situation but it is difficult to make calls on what the right thing to do is when it comes to smartphone use and children it's complex it's complicated there are pros and there are cons I'm hoping that this episode helps you to figure that out now I'm I'm Gen X I just I think I'm just on the cusp of Gen X the greatest generation in my opinion and but my parents did not have to go through this stressful stressful deliberation on what the right thing to do is with smartphones so if you who's listening have parents who are also confused about what the right thing to do is turn them on to this podcast series three episodes today's one is about why I think children shouldn't have a smartphone until they're 16 in parentheses Devin's opinion however subheading is stuff that parents should think about when they're trying to make decisions about what age they should give their kid or not give their kid a cell phone that was a mouthful anyway let's start grab some coffee or some matcha tea to them having coffee because I'm feeling a little bit fatigued actually actually I've been fighting this weird viral thing you know I had it for like three weeks and then I got well I had a couple of training sessions at my gym I felt good and then last week I started to feel terrible again I don't know what's going on it's not covid I've checked I think anyway okay so today we're going to tackle a question that's on every parent's minds at what age should children be allowed to have their own smartphones now it's a topic that has been sorry becoming increasingly relevant in our modern age they are powerful devices and yes they offer a lot of benefit our children can access the world we can access the world from the palm of our hands but it works both ways the world can also access you and it can access your children so they come with these potential risks which are salient when it comes to our young developing children and their minds here are some surprising statistics okay according to common sense media 53 percent of children in the USA have their own smartphones by age 11 by age 12 this number jumps to 71% and then by age 14 it is a staggering 91% to me these numbers highlight just how prevalent early smartphone ownership has become right but there's a counterpoint here another study from Stanford medicine suggests that the age at which children acquire their first cell phone isn't necessarily linked to their well-being now I do push back on that but in this study they measured factors like grades sleep habit and depression symptoms and found no significant correlation not cause causation different to correlation by the way correlation with the age of first phone ownership it doesn't indicate that age is the determining factor based on the study right instead parents need to focus on individual child's on their individual child's maturity and responsibility level and that goes across the board you have to consider your own personal situation your own children's needs what they are capable of doing and what they're not what they can handle what they can't handle what you can handle what you can't handle from from us in our household we have decided that our children are not going to have smartphones until they are at least 16 now I don't want you to listen to this and just blindly follow my rules for my household this is a rule that we have put in place for our household okay it's not a blanket rule okay but you know I have some personal opinions that are a little bit controversial and I want to try and temper that a little bit you know in this episode I do think that it is a little bit of different strokes for different folks there's some kids they're very good at controlling the impulses some kids are very good at delaying gratification you know they might have a cell phone that they own but they might hardly use it these children do exist they are out there they are out there okay but some kids they cannot live without their cell phones I think that and of course you know that that's a problem so what practical what practical advice can I offer parents who are considering giving their kids a smartphone first and foremost boundaries it's crucial to set clear boundaries it means establishing very clear rules for smartphone use for example limiting screen time setting specific times when the phone can be used I kind of prefer that rule set or a set of rules around that idea of setting specific times sometimes you know limiting screen time can be a bit tricky especially when kids are just finishing up a level and then they say oh just one more just one more just one more just five more minutes just five minutes no no no no specific times so they're gonna have to learn to temper their behavior to fit in within certain times when they can use devices which is becoming more and more necessary now that some schools maybe a lot of schools are using devices to to teach most smartphones come with built-in features that allow parents to restrict access to certain types of content or apps so do consult with someone that knows more about smartphones if you don't to help you set those restrictions up perhaps the most important strategy though is to maintain open communication with your child now this is something that goes across the board and open communication okay I'm not talking about this in isolation of making rules around smartphone use open communication has to be across the board your family needs to have a culture that fosters open communication where potential risks are discussed and responsibilities are discussed of course you might not talk about these things with a one-year-old or a two-year-old because they don't have the verbal ability or the capacity to think about such complex things but as kids get older they start to be able to handle more and more complicated problems you have to figure out what is right for your own child different strokes for different folks how do you figure that out well you can learn about development what's appropriate and at what stage how do you go about doing that well there's lots of resources out there I always recommended a recommend our resources how to wisdom courses and perfect guidance for supporting anxious kids is great and then we have another one called you know effective communication for anxious sensitive neuro diverse kids I invite you to go and check out those courses but they emphasize the importance of setting clear boundaries for screen time and maintaining open communication with each other sorry they don't specifically talk about I don't specifically go into screen time use in those courses but the principles that I teach you in those courses will help you to set clear boundaries for screen time does that make sense implementing the strategies parents can help their kids develop a more balanced relationship with technology so I encourage you to go and check out those resources all right I'm not just telling you to block courses okay I I see it every day where kids appeared to be handling more complex problems these days their anxiety is not simple it's multi layered and it's complicated it's so complicated now so many layers to their anxiety I see this in clinic all the time it is very very difficult to treat anxiety now in our modern age parents schools we need all the help that we can get and some of the things that are missing I believe is a firm grasp of the principles that I espouse in the courses you know about empathic positive parenting I want to wrap up this episode now but I want to emphasize that there's no one size fits all answer to when a child should get a smartphone it is a decision that requires careful consideration of one individual needs to maturity level and three family circumstances but the most important thing the most important thing is to stay involved in your child's digital life stay connected with your child build trust and security this is the conduit for open communication which then allows you to guide your children and to set the sorts of rules that is right for your family thank you for joining me on this important topic my friends I hope this discussion has provided some valuable perspectives for you to consider and I do hope that you join the the enroll in the courses that I just alluded to earlier I just mentioned earlier and if you do find this stuff helpful my friends please pause and leave us a five-star review it does actually help I didn't think it did but it actually does and share it with parents who you think might find this useful share it with your parents join me next time we'll continue our exploration of technology and media and the lives of our children and families this has been episode one of a three part series and yeah I look forward to catching up with you next time for episode two we'll be talking about violent video games and movies are they secretly harming your children okay join me next time talk to you later have a great week bye
