In Bed With Alexa
The Chase, First Dates, and Learning to Be a Better Lover (ft. King TM)
Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) is joined by content creator Taiwo (King TM) for a candid conversation about sex education in the UK and his first masturbation experience. We explore how growing up with a single mom gave him the freedom to explore, and why he made a pact not to have sex until he was 16. Taiwo shares how he learned to be a good lover by asking his partners for feedback, tells us the dynamics of low-effort vs. high-effort first dates, and dives into why men often enjoy the chase and respect these women more. We also tackle topics like penis size insecurities, cheating, and more.
- Broadcast on:
- 05 Sep 2024
- Audio Format:
- other
(upbeat music) - Tea? - Yes, hello. - Are you ready to get in bed with me? - Of course, I've been waiting. - Well, actually I'm ready to lounge on the couch with me 'cause we're on the fucking couch. - You're ready to bed with me. I'm ready to bed this time, but yeah. - Yeah, London, I don't like my bed in London, so we can do it in the couch. (laughs) - I'm ready, I'm ready. - Awesome, everyone, this is Tea, content creator, and I'll let him introduce himself. - Yeah, King TM, to those who know me, to my mother, I'm Tywell, and to my friends, I'm Tea. So yeah, content creator, TikTok, Instagram, social media, that was it. - Yeah, basically me, but for TikTok. - Yeah. - And not about sex, so we're not really, we're not, we're nothing alike, but whatever. - Okay, so how did you start content creation? - I got into content creation because I went to university. - What did you study? - Sport and leisure management. - All right. - I know. - I see it, I see it. - Yeah, I was saying, I wanted to get into event management. I did sports my whole life, I was like okay, cool, go to university, 'cause obviously I'm from a Nigerian background, so it's heavy focus on education, like go get your degree, whatever. So I went and got my degree, but then I realized like, no matter if I earn loads of money, I'm not gonna be happy doing this. Like I want a job where I can go create and like, have an idea in my mind and bring it to life, like in front of me, and have been my pure vision. So I tried music and I was a great (laughs) I thought I had the deep voice for it, but yeah, I was saying, but then yeah. - But not the pitch. - Not the pitch, yeah, I was saying. So then I got into content creation and yeah, just kind of. - Wait, what year, how long ago? - Well, it must've been a while now. Maybe like three years, you know. - Post COVID. - Yeah, yeah, that's how I measured. It's like pre-COVID, post COVID. - Yeah, yeah, isn't it though, yeah. But yeah, like just before COVID, I think, yeah. - Okay, I'm a lockdown girly. Like I started in lockdown, on lockdown. - Loads of people started doing lockdown then. - Right, exactly. That was me. - Yeah. - Okay, so was it easy at first? Like did you go viral? Or were you like, oh, this is bullshit, but you kept going, like. - Yeah, it was definitely loud. Like it was bullshit. Like everything was, I thought like, this is hilarious. What is this? (laughing) - Wait, and was it now looking back? Like was it? - You know what, I think some of the ideas were funny, but the execution, you know what I mean? The experience for me. - Like the fucking, what's the production? - Yeah, yeah, the layout of the joke, make the joke not loud. You know, like even when some of your funny friends, they will say something that's not funny and it'll be funny. - Yeah, just 'cause of the way they said it. - Yeah, they delivered it. And I think through clips, I kind of had to learn the way to deliver it. - Okay, so what kept you motivated? Like how long was it until you actually were like, okay, this is going somewhere? - It wasn't too long in. I think I was at like 12K on TikTok and this company called Heul reached out to me. - Heul? - Yeah, Heul. - Like they do like gym stuff and nice food. - Okay, right. - And they paid me like two grand for one clip. I was like, oh my god, I can do it. - Yeah. - It wasn't like the views that come in, it was a mad amount, but I just thought, oh my god, if they're going to pay me this, I can definitely do this. - Yeah, how much do you charge now, if we can talk about it? - I also go after sex finance is my favorite. - Yeah, I would say. - Yeah, after you can break it down, you know what I mean? After we get to know each other, you know what I'm saying? But no, basically, I think-- - One TikTok, one dedicated TikTok. How much? - It really depends, you know, like it depends on-- - If they have deep pockets, how much? - Yeah, deep pockets. - Yeah, they have the budget and how much? - They have the budget. - How much do you quote them? - Probably like, they didn't be able to actually put like 600, 700 for one clip. - But I thought this brand paid you two grand. - They did, and that was when I had 12K and I have like 300 and-- - So what the fuck, why aren't you trying more than twoK? - I don't understand. - This is the illusion it gave me, and it was a good thing and a bad thing, 'cause it gave me the motivation to keep going. But like, you just, an early TikTok as well-- - Yeah. - Was a lot more money. - True. - There was a lot more money in it. - That's true. - Now, I feel like you just have to be a bit more practical. - It also like TikTok is way cheaper than Instagram, 'cause it works differently. - Yeah, definitely. - 'Cause I have 50K on Instagram, and I charge more than you. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and also, but it also depends what you're talking about, and-- - Sex. - Yeah, but like, you talk about it in sometimes an educational way. - Yeah. - And let people in on like, like, thoughts and dynamics they wouldn't have seen before, you know what I mean? But when it's just comedy, and it's not really, you know-- - It's hard to sell things when you're like just doing funny things, but it's-- - Yeah. - If you do it in smart ways. - Yeah, definitely. I have charged more. Don't let me, don't get me wrong. I have charged more, but if I'm saying a big-- - Yeah, average, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just quote brands like-- - The-- - And then I negotiate. They're like, we can't pay them. I'm like, look at how much can you pay, and then we see if I can get. - That's fine, do you wanna, you can be my-- - I am the manager. I take 20% though. But I'll get you more money. It works in the end. - You work, you work, you work. (laughing) - All right, if we get you like in the sex comedy space, I know all the brands already. - Yeah, I can do some great sex comedy. - Condoms, lube, oatsa. - That's exactly what I'm talking about. - Okay, we'll talk later. This is now a business talk. Okay, so talking about like sex comedy, how do you find the sex sells, right? How do you find the balance between like, only making jokes about sex and clips, and like other jokes? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know what, like, it's funny because early on, I would rely heavy on it, like I'm around a lot of girls, and a lot of only fans girls. So we'll just, I'll use that in the clip, depending, as a tagline, to get people in, they'll see it's like, oh, then they watch the whole clip. And now, so at first, there was no balance. It was, you know what, I can't-- - It was just sex, yeah. - I can, yes, use it. But now, I can try to be more brand friendly. So I'm using it less. - Well, it depends on what kind of brands you're looking to work with, but sure. - Yeah, I guess the ones in my vision, lean less towards that. All the people around me that are getting big deals, lean less towards like-- - Right. - You know what I mean? - Yeah, not the biggest creators, don't talk about that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So now, like, I'm-- - It can be more of like, relationship dating stuff, but not like, explicit. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. And obviously in comedy, like, a lot of the, it's hard for comedians and like, kind of people who rely on comedy now, because like, it is maybe like a shock factor or like an over-exaggeration or something that's real, you know what I'm saying? So, using that for comedy normally is about this, the sex side, rather than relationships. - Yeah. - Hopefully it gets, hopefully I can find a good balance again. - Hopefully. - Okay, take a shot every time P says, do you know what I mean? - Yeah. (laughing) - If you're, it's early on. So you can still go grab a bottle and just take a shot whenever we-- - He says that. - You'll come in if you don't, I mean. - Yeah. (laughing) - Oh, you know what I'm saying? Also in that one. I love like, it's such a British thing. - It is, it is. - Okay, okay. How was your sex at growing up? Did you grow in like an open family? Was, we not talk about it? - Yeah. - What was it like? - So, you know what? I grew up with a single mum. So we had a lot of freedom because she was working-- - How many siblings? - Two brothers, one twin, one older brother. - You're a twin. - Yeah, one twin. - I said you were my, my name means, my name means first twin. Well, it's a story, but yeah, it means first twin. - You were born first. - Yeah, my brother's. - Okay, so three of you, a single mum. - Yeah, yeah. - So a lot of freedom. - A lot of freedom. - Because she was busy providing. - Yeah, yeah, exactly. Like a lot of people around our house. And then as like, and so like, there was like cheap, when you're young, like little kisses, little cheap, you know what I'm saying? But again, not talked about. - You had the freedom to explore, but it wasn't talked about. - Yeah, you had no education. - My mum comes home, it's not-- - It's hidden, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, it's happened. - And then-- - Wait, did she ever teach you or have any sort of talk with you? Yeah, even like, say sex or something. - No, no, no, no, never. I think quite generally talking about sex in my family, I was probably the one to talk about over my brothers. And then when my mum used to, when I used to be out with these other girls, it was more like, you know, you can't be getting these girls pregnant. You know? - Well, at least she was like-- - Yeah, she was-- - Advising. - Yeah, yeah, a little bit. A little bit. I actually-- - At least not, but it wasn't absent and she was like, don't get them pregnant. Like she knew you were-- - She knew. - She knew. - She knew. - She knew. - She wasn't a ladies' mum, man. Little girls like me when I was younger. (laughing) But no, like, the one thing she did say is watch, be careful because you're black and you have to be careful in this environment. And I've, I really, I do, I do actually think I have a saying that 'cause I think in a lot of such scenarios, if like, I wasn't aware, like, okay, cool, we may get seen in different light here, I'd have been in trouble. There was a lot of times when I'll be, when I would be like, like, at a girls' house and their dad would have been not, would have not liked me there at all. Even their family wouldn't like me that all. - 'Cause you dated multiple races in the cities. - Yeah. - Okay. But how did your mum warn you? Like, what did she say like? - She would just say, she would genuinely just say, like, what, you're a black boy, be careful. Like there's a target on your back, that people aren't, people don't love, like, not don't love you, but they, but they just be careful, you know what I mean? That's kind of what she warned us about. - And how young were you when you started realizing that you were treated differently just because you were black? - Do you know what, like, I was in primary school, I was a little shit, but I realized, yeah, I was, I was, I was, I was crazy, but I realized, even then, like, a lot of, a lot of, like, I guess, like, people say, like, in England, there's a, you realize you're black first, probably through racism. - Yes. - And then you realize you're black from, like, okay, like, there's a different, I actually live a different culture at home than the thing I'm coming to school and seeing, you know what I mean? So, really early, man, really early. - Were most of the kids in your school white? - Yeah, yeah. - Coolie, if you know, yeah, but now it's, like, very more cultural, but when we're young, yes, like, everyone, I think there was one of it in our primary school, there was one of it in my first primary school that I was permanently scared of from, there was one of a black girl, and then my twin, and then another mixed race boy, that was it. - Wow. - Yeah, so, yeah, it was, yeah, it was. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Wait, how old are you? - I'm 29 now. - Okay. - Yeah, yeah, well, cool, man. (laughing) - If you say so. (laughing) Okay, why don't I be in school? Was there any sex in? - Yeah, oh my God, I used to tell a story about my sex head. Oh my, yeah, so, the teacher said we could, this is, so I got permanently scared of my first going to my second school. So, I met my lovely friend, CJ. And that's your real CJ. - Wait, CJ, that introduced us. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Okay, so we were introduced virtually by CJ, who has like a marketing PR company. - Yeah, great with you. - And he was like, created a juice. He was like, oh my God, you have to have tea on your podcast, and I was like, sure, so. (laughing) - 'Cause he knows, he knows about this stuff, you know what I'm saying. - Okay, so you met CJ, and? - Yeah, and a couple of other friends in my twin, and then at school, they said, you can masturbate. One of the teachers said that you can, something you can do. - Just so you, or were there girls, everyone? - No, there was no girls, we used to separate. Girls would do one. - Okay, so that's bullshit, 'cause it's okay for you to masturbate, but I bet they did not say that to the girls. - I actually talk, do you know what, 'cause I had a lot of girl mates, I talked to them, and they said in primary school, it wasn't, there was no pleasure, they told you that about periods, they told you about-- - Just reproduction. - Yeah, like they had, they didn't say anything about all this pleasure and stuff. But yeah, we got told we could do that. And that day-- - Had you done it before? - That, no, that day, I think, I don't know if I'm remembering it's wrong, but I feel like it was like year five, year three, year five, year four. - So like you were like 10? - Yeah, around that age, I think. And I went to a tree, they're like doing a private place. So I was like, boys, I'm gonna try this, and we'll go in a tree. (laughing) - Yeah. - And we walked home, and I went up to the tall tree, I tried to do it, I said, boys, this is dead, like I don't even know, this doesn't feel great. What's going on? - What did you do? Like how did you, how did you touch it? Like just, he said you can do that to it, so I pulled it, and it weren't good. (laughing) - Okay, and then, this is because your friends were involved, you were telling them everything. - Yeah, that bottom of the tree, like they're waiting for the-- - They were waiting for the, like, no, okay. - They're waiting for the info, they were trying to, yeah, I said no, this ain't busting. - Okay, 'cause they were like, okay, you do it first. - No, not even, I, like, I'm one of their boys, as even for the likes, he did a couple of these workouts, I'm one of their boys, like, yo, I'm trying. (laughing) You said you could do that ourselves, I'm trying it. If it was like sex, I'm trying. - Okay, how long was it until you did it again, and you were like, okay, maybe I don't have to fucking yank it off. - I actually know, so I was 12, so T is on, I was 12, and it was in my friend, sorry, Dharma. It was my friend, the Dharma's toilet, yeah. And I went for we, and then after we was just like a bit. - Sorry. - Yeah, I was gonna play you a video. - Mm-hmm. - I was gonna, and this is what made me talkin' about, you know what I was sayin'? And then I remember the first one with the column, yeah, in that bathroom, it felt like we again. - Yeah. - So then I was like, oh no, oh no, and then I started like a 40, as we comin' out, and then it kinda wasn't, like I felt it wasn't we. I was like, oh my God, I cleaned out the toilet. It's too good to me. I said, yo guys, I'm goin' home, and then I-- - You did it again? - Yeah, I did it. - And then you never stopped. - And then I never stopped. It was crazy, 'cause I used to get like, excluded from school, and I would spend all day in the house to swank, and it was crazy, I used to love it back then. - Okay, what about like, you shared a room with your twin? - Yeah. - So, how did you wink in the bathroom, or like, fuck it? - Yeah, you know, that's actually a great question. - How did he wink? Like, looks like twins have like a special ball. Maybe you guys were like-- - No, no, no, no, no, oh! - Like, no, like, like, let's pretend, like, let's pretend. - Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - Like, let's pretend, like, we both know we do it. Let's just pretend we don't hear each other, or whatever. - Never, you know, I don't think I ever, like, again, like, it wasn't just, like, the top of my mum not talking about sex, it permeated through our family, like, no, no, until I was in my mid teens, no one really talked about, you know what I mean? Like, it wasn't like a dialogue, it wasn't dialogue we had. So, it was a bit, well, talking to you like-- - Take your shot. (laughs) - Yeah, but now we do, because when I grew up, now when I grew up, and I was being sexually active, like, I'm not someone to not talk about things that I'm doing, or, like, you know what I mean? - But where did you wink? - So, again, so, like, during daytime, 'cause I was excluded from school all the time. - What does that mean? Excluded from school? - Excluded from school means that you've been in a bad way at school, and now you're not allowed to go in. - Suspended. - Yes, suspended, yeah. - Suspension. - And I was gone, I was out of schools for, like, for months on ending, I just was at home. - Why did you get, what did you do? - Well, I used to fight people a lot. - Like, physically. - Yeah, like, I was very sensitive, and I was very sensitive, but I'm a guess I'm a grown man, and I know how to control my emotions now. When I was younger, I didn't know how to control my emotions, so I would say, saying, and I would do a response instead of saying something back would be a bunching of things. - Yeah, okay, okay, okay, yeah. - So, yeah. - Okay, so during the day, you were alone. - I was absolutely, I'd put my body in everything, and it was great, and it was a great experience. - We're in everything. - In everything. - Where did you put it? - In, you know, once, yeah, this is actually crazy, so I hope my momma shouldn't see this. But, you know, there was a coffee, we had a coffee thing. I didn't even know I did it, there was a coffee strainer. I was like, I do that. I put it in the, like a sock, instead of just using the sock. - I know, but in, honestly, and I was just trying to see when my willy did it. - Yeah, right, anything. - Wait, did you ever do, like, food, or something like that? - No, I don't think so. There weren't lots of food at home, maybe. - Like fruit, like, or, I don't know. - No, I don't think so. - Okay, no food was meant to be eaten in the household. - Yeah, you know what I mean? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm a boy, like, we love eating. I don't know. - No, with three boys in the house, I bet, like, you guys were ravishing everything. Yeah, and your momma's like, stop eating. (laughing) - Yeah, she was pissed by most of that. He hated us here so much. - Okay, and then when you did start having sex, when you started talking about it, what was the first time you had penetrative sex? - When was the first time old? - Like, how old were you? - Oh my God, again, me and CJ, we made a pact. - You're putting CJ under the bus here. - No, no, no, but we made a pact to wait till it was 16. - Why? - I don't know, just like a thing. - Like, where did it come from? - I really don't know, like, I just thought, I asked the right thing to do is, you know, age, whatever. And it wasn't even like I weren't, I got, like, you know what I mean, those stuff. - You were fooling around before that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but it means you just made a pact for some reason. You used to have these long talks, and some reason it came to that, yeah. - It was profound. - CJ, you are dirty liar because you broke the pack, okay? - CJ! - Yes, before it came to the end, right? So, I'm upset about that, but I actually waited, okay? On my 16th birthday. (laughing) - Today of? (laughing) - The day of, I remember when I was my friends, my friends cousin, and yeah, got a crackin', got as soon as it done, I called everyone. - Okay, wait, how did you know what to do? - Pawn. - So you didn't know what to do? - Yeah. (laughing) - I really didn't. Like, it was, it wasn't a great experience. - Right. - Like, I was like, "Wanken's way better than that." - Yeah. - Like, genuinely, like-- - Okay, walk me through it, like, what happened? What did you do? - So, oh, it's actually so hard to remember. - Did you, was there any foreplay? Did you care about her pleasure at all? - Did let me be real? - I didn't. - Right. - It was more like, I'm trying to-- - They're doing it my dick and something, yeah. - It's my 60th birthday, I'm getting this on now. Like, that was more the thought in my brain, you know what I mean? - Yeah. - Um, so yeah, it wasn't, I tried to put the condom on, I remember the condom, I put the condom, you know, the condom goes away, right? - Backwards, yeah. - Yeah, back to the picture, I died. I was like, "Okay, my dick's going down now." - Wait, wait, wait, wait, did you use it like that? - No, I didn't, I took it. - You just took it. - No condom. - I tried again. - Mm-hmm. - I tried to sit at fuck, we had no condom, and then tried it and it was right, like-- - Did you come in her? - Um, I actually can't remember. - It's like the first thing your mom told you, you were like, "Fuck it." - I know, how could that, like-- - You know, you can change your rebellious, you know. - How long did it last? - Not very long, not very long. - Yeah, no, it was your first time. - Yeah, maybe like three minutes. And then, yeah, then I remember we were going camping, so I had to leave as well, it wasn't yours or washed feet. - Yeah. - I'd tell everyone that camping, "Your mother's got this." (laughing) I could actually, I think T.D. was on the first person I called, I said, "Yo, bro, she a big man now." (laughing) - 'Cause how did you learn that you were doing everything wrong? - You know what, I'm someone who likes to do a good job of things, and I am very, I think being a twin allowed me to understand that my perspective isn't the only perspective. You know what I mean? I think, I was just asking, just talking to girls, like, it was that good, like-- - Communication! - Yeah! (laughing) - Like, honestly, that is, that is, and then I think actually getting really better was having my first proper girlfriend and stay with them for a while. And then, you know what I mean, you learn, like, so then, not only, it's like you're sleeping with them twice, it's like you're sleeping them a long time, and you can ask questions, and you can kind of practice, and get them. - Well, the fact that you're asking questions is the key here. - Or, oh, boys, if you're not asking questions, you're doing something wrong. - Yeah. - 100%, you need to, like, how are you gonna know, sometimes you don't even know about your own body, so how are you gonna know someone else? - Well, they just don't care. - Yeah, but then sex is about, sex is about both of you, isn't it? Like, I-- - In it? (laughing) - Correct. - You know what I'm saying? - Yeah. (laughing) - You get, I get pleasure. Again, I think that's one of the things, is that I get pleasure from my partner getting pleasure done. - Yeah. - As you should. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%. - Okay, and now, would you say you're a good lover? - Yeah, I think, yeah. I think, well, I had no complaints, and I've had a fair few. - Okay, but do you think, a fair few, same. Do you think, but do you do the same, like, do you expect you're usual to work on everyone, or are you like, let me learn, like, this is a new body, when we learn everything about this body? - Yeah, again, it depends how many times you're gonna see the person. - Yeah. - But, yeah, everyone's different. - Correct. - Yeah, everyone's different, like, I've had, I don't know, like, even, like, foreplay definitely, like, is very different from person to person, and it's, you know, I'll ask. - So, how do you feel about the word slut? - I mean, I like it. - Do you identify? - Uh-huh. - Uh-huh. - Yeah, I'm a slut. Get me lit, you know what I'm saying? - But, everyone on my podcast is big. We're all sluts, but, like, we embrace it. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know what? I don't like the negative connotations. - No, no, as long as, when you embrace it, it's like-- - Yeah, you know what I'm saying, yeah, yeah. I hear that, yeah. I'm a slut, man. - But, like, an ethical slut. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. - Right. - Yeah, everyone's loves it, that's good. - Like, everyone knows what you're up to. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - No thinking, yeah. - I actually really do, I really do back that, though, about letting people know where you're on. - Yeah. - Like, guys, my friends always lost, I'm like, how, why is this so many girls that are just, like, happy to do, like, because from the outset, I'm honest about what I want, like, I'm not lying and say, oh, when you put my girlfriend, I don't lie like that at all, like, they know what to do is, if they're on that call, if they're not, then it's fine, like, you know what I mean? So, yeah, I think honesty is the best person, 100%, but I'm a slut, man. - Okay, but, like, yeah, a good slut. - Yeah, good slut, good slut. - Okay, well, what about cheating? Have you had any experience with cheating? - Yeah. - Oh, the bad way. - Okay, okay. - That was a bad way when I was younger, man. - How young, when was the last time you cheated? How long ago was that? - Only my first relationship. - Okay. - My first serious relationship, I was just outside. - What does that mean? - Outside, I'm gonna give you some English slang, yeah. Outside means, like, you were just getting friends from girl to girl, like a city boy. You're outside talking to bad girls, and I should've been inside with my girl. It wasn't, I was outside. - I've never heard that before, I love it. I'm always outside. (laughing) - I love it. - Okay, and did you find out, naturally? - Yes, you did. - Yeah. - Women know. - My Facebook messages. - That's so old-school, Facebook, yeah. - I know, that's how old it was. (laughing) - But I learned my lesson, man, like, I learned the fact that if I wanna be with someone that I care about, 'cause even if I really didn't, like, maybe I'll go with her for not the purest reasons, if I then spend a lot of time with someone, you're gonna care about them, I don't wanna hurt them, and I don't wanna be dishonest to people that are always around me as well. You know what I mean, like, yeah, so, yeah, I had to grow up, there's a little growing up to do in between her and my next relationship as many years out, and yeah, I think I'll go here. - Awesome, okay, so, since you've been outside so much. - Yeah. (laughing) - You gotta like that. - I love it. How is the dating life in the UK or in England? 'Cause like, there are so many stereotypes about British people, and like, I've seen many come true and others, not so much, so, how has it been like for you? You're straight, right? - Yeah, again, I think I'm blessed. I think in like, talking to girls and like, like, girls been attracted to me, I think I'm blessed. Like, I've really never had much of a problem with it. - We have a modest, modest man here. Like, I'm beautiful, no, no, no, I've just never had much of a problem, I think I'm confident with talking. Again, I'm like, I'm forward with what I want, and I think I'm a bit funny. - Okay, but that's not very British of you, 'cause British people cannot be upfront. They're like, oh, I'm sorry. And like, excuse me, you're like, what the fuck do you want? They're like, oh, I was just wondering. And then they say nothing, and I'm like, what the fuck do you want? Like, just say it, and they can't. - Yeah, very conservative. - They can't, and I'm like, or they're like, oh, have fun, and they're like, what the fuck does that mean? And they can't say the words, and like, speak. - Yeah, that is very true, and I think, but I think, again, that's why I get like, that I think that's why girls like me, because I'm not like them. Plus, I grew up, again, I grew up in England, but my household is African. We're very like, loud, we're very upfront with things. - Okay, 'cause in Nigerians are very affectionate. - Yeah, yeah, very affectionate. - British people are cold and distant. (laughs) So, how, like, you're affectionate. So, when you're affectionate with the women that you've been with, do they reciprocate? Are some taking you back, or like, because you're affectionate, they feel safe, or would have to be affectionate back? - I think that's a lot of the case, but with like my last ex-relationship, it was, like, it got to a point where it wasn't coming back, and again, I think it's just because they're English. - It was one-sided. - Yeah, like, I was very affectionate. She wasn't very affectionate. I would sit on the couch, and she would sit over there, and be like, "Why are you over there?" Yeah, what's going on? - Cuddles! - Cuddles! - Yeah. - That's one of my love language, physical affection. - Yeah, 95% of it is physical. It love language is a physical touch, yeah. - You know what I mean, so. - You know what I mean. - You know what I mean. - I know what you're saying. (laughing) - So, like, it was, yeah, that is- - So, but are you like, "Girl, can you fucking ask here?" Or are you like, "Okay, fine, like, I'll respect that." - I was at the beginning, I was very much like that. I was saying, like, "Do you not?" But I would leave it, because I don't want you to feel uncomfortable and do you, but then I would have, again, like, I'm just very open with the dialogue. Like, I would say, "Look, I really like hugging, "I really like affection, and you are just so this. "What is, is it, can you see, is it going to do? "Do you not like me?" I was just trying to figure out what it is, so we can combat it and get it on the other side of it. But, no, it was nothing. There was no problems, that was just how it was. - Yeah, but can you, like, can you accept it? 'Cause, like, if someone is not affectionate back to me, I'm like, "Uh-uh." - I accepted it for a long time, but then there was just other things. Like, I think, again, there was nothing wrong with her. She was amazing. - It's not wrong, it's just different. - Yeah, we're different. And I think the disparity in, like, the difference in, like, how much we wanted sex, our sex drives was just... - Also different. - Yeah, was a chasm, and it was just too much to go over. - Just with her, do you feel like you usually have a higher drive than your partner? - Yeah, usually, yeah. - Have you ever met your match? Like, someone that's equal or even more? - Couple times, yeah, but then, but then sometimes it comes with qualities that I don't like. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? So, it is a very hard balance to act, so. - Yeah. - But yeah, I've met a couple of people that have been my match. - Yeah. - Yeah. - It's good, like, oh, just... (laughing) - Just firework. - Then you're inside, you cannot find him outside. (laughing) - We're both outside together, you know what I mean? We're like, "Yeah, no, then I'm inside." - Okay, what about PDA? 'Cause that's also, like, a big British thing. Like, I was just in Paris, and everyone was making out on the street, and I'm like, "Yes." - That would more happen in England. - No, I know, but like, okay, wait, 'cause like, if I do it, 'cause I like to do it, or if I sit on someone's lap, or I'm like super touchy-feely, or I don't even see people holding hands when they walk, like, people are so cold. But like, as a British person, if you see someone else doing it, I know you're very open, but like, think from a British perspective. Is that offensive? Is that inappropriate, or is it just like, mind your business? Like, whatever. - I think the tide is changing, but I think yes, like, I think like, people don't like seeing it in England. - Right. - Yeah, because like, I remember when I was younger, I'll get funny looks. Like, I'll be kissing someone to get really funny looks. - But like, what's wrong with you? - Literally, just go find someone you can kiss. Like, are you jealous? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Why are you even looking? - No, like, look, like, 'cause if I see people making out, I'm like, yeah, like, give me more, do more. I wanna watch. So like, if I am making out with someone out in the open, I'm like, if you wanna watch, you're welcome to watch, but like, just let me mind my fucking business. Like, this is not illegal. - I'm the same. I love, I love PDA, man, right? Why not? When, if I'm feeling new, whenever. - Like, for example, on the tube, would you? - On the. - On the tube. - The tube, 100%. - Right. - Yeah, if I move like a girl, yeah, 100%. - Even if it's, like, crowded. - Yeah. - Right. - You're no kiss? - Mm-hmm. - May not be like, full on, maybe I won't be like, trying to... - No, I'll make out. - You just make out. - Tongue, and everything. - Yeah. - Again, if the girl's on that, I'm on that. - Okay. - Yeah, I'm with it. - Okay, but like, here, it's like, like, I don't even know, I don't even see if people are looking. I don't care, but like, I worry sometimes that I'm like, that it's so frowned upon, that people are like, what is going on? Like, is this a fucking prank? - I definitely, you can definitely fill people watching more in England, like, what have been abroad, like... - No one cares. - Yeah. - But why are you guys so stuck up? Like, what is your life? What is it, the weather? Like, I don't get it. - Probably is the weather. The weather gets me down. - Oh my God, so I brought the sun. Haven't you seen the past few days I've been sunny? - It's brilliant. - You're welcome, yeah. - Oh my God, you're amazing. - Yeah, I leave one Monday though, so it'll be raining again. Sorry. Sorry, I can't, all right. Ooh, okay, so what kind of day there are you? Like, your usual first date. It's a drinks, dinner, coffee, an activity, a five day trip, like, what is it? - Yeah, it depends on the girl. - Okay, wait, explain. It depends on if I have intentions with this girl. - It saves, if it's a dating app, how do you know if you have or don't have intentions yet, like? - Because the connection will be different. Like, even if I'm just, we have a sexual conversation, you can still give me a bit, you know what I mean? Give me a bit more. - Right, yeah, yeah. - I need some, you know what I mean? And also, just like, if like, I know the type of things you're into, I'm just, I hate, so like, it's just going to, this is not gonna be a long thing. So then it might just be my bedroom. But if it's someone I'm wanting to-- - Wait, why would you even meet that person if you're like completely compatible from the start? - If I was, I guess. - Like, if they're into something, like, things that you're really not into, why would you even meet them? - 'Cause it might get a new perspective on sound. - Ah, okay. But they're still only seeing the bedroom, like, no effort. - Yeah, but then it might get a design. Like, I've had friends, I have friends in my life now that I've just met and slept with and they're long-term friends now. - Okay, but never a relationship. Started like that. - They're already-- - Okay, okay, but like, what do the low-effort people get and what are the high-effort people get? Like, give me a bit too. - Okay, so low would just be, oh, you're not-- - Well, come over. - I didn't even clean my sheets, but then they're nice. (laughs) - My navy blue sheets with one pillow on the bed are extremely comfortable. Come over. - But the top, the top. So, like, this is someone I really like. - Right. - Conversations being great, it's banter. Oh, does that make a difference? If they're-- - I'm pursuing you for a while, 100%. - If they say yes too fast, you're like, oh, maybe I don't have to put in much effort. - That sounds so weird, but yes. - That's such a man. - I know, that's so weird. - That's terrible. - I didn't even think of it like that. - Well, now, please think about it like that. - Yeah, but I remember there's Spanish girls pursuing for ages. - Mm-hmm. - And-- - That's so traditional. It's like, I finally got it. - Yeah, I actually eat her like a queen. I took her to a restaurant. - No, we went to arcade. It's going to arcade, right in here. - Mm-hmm. - And I stopped before that. Beach arcade dinner, and then I walked home and then I drove home. - Did you kiss? - Yeah, it was. - What if she strung you along for so long? - Yeah, she strung you along for a very long time, and it was good, man, it was good. 'Cause again, I'm not a forester, like, I talked to her bitch, she didn't really feel him, I left it. And I came back, she was like, "Oh, my gosh, they're pretty." - Wait, wait, so if you had to advise people, especially women, so if a guy offers a very low effort date, what would you, would you be like, except don't accept? - Depends what you want. - If they want a relationship, for example. - You want a relationship, mm-hmm. Yeah, I would say, I would say no, I would say always go for, for your desire. If, I know girls obviously desire sex as well, but you gotta get their boys' intentions from beginning, you know what I mean? Make sure they're making effort from beginning. - Right. - And I would say four girls out there, if a guy that says, "Yo, come around and jump in my bed," and you want something longer, then don't do that. I mean, even if you want to sleep, just sleep with them, I would say don't do that. I would still say, you know what I mean? Get them to, I don't know, do something. - Even if I sleep with people, I always do like an activity first, 'cause it's just fun. - I mean, then you get to learn a bit more, the sex will be better. - Yeah, man. - Okay, so you would advise them as well, if they're interested in something long-term or whatever, to wait, to have sex. - I wouldn't, I wouldn't say wait, right? Again, if you are, if you're someone who has a high sex life. - Those say they do, say they're dying to jump your bones, but they know that you think they're a bigger price, if they make you wait. Like, the Spanish girl was for you, which is fucked up by the way. So, do you think most people think like you think, or like you used to think? - Yes, I do. I do think that, but I would say do what you want, do what feels right though. I wouldn't say what, like, I've sat with people and had way better relationships. Like, I've had the short, you know what I mean? I met them like twice or once, and that's sex with them. And way better relationships than people are waiting for. - Yeah, no, no. - Because sometimes if I wait, and it's just not how, I never, ever took you again. But if it is the first, like, then honestly, it wasn't a given. - Right, right. No, I think I've had sex on the first date, first or second date with every relationship I've ever had. And like, it turned into a relationship. Like, it's not, it's not like mutually exclusive. Like, if you want to sleep with them and sleep with them, but it's fucked up, that men think that. Like, the hunt and the pursuing and the, oh my God, she made me wait. It was, she played hard to get. I'm obsessed with her. No. No! - You know what I mean? - You know what I mean? - Yeah. - No! - How do you 100% do that? - Don't do that, boys, all right? - Don't do that. It's fucked up. - But it's not in nature. We like to hunt. - That's, no. - We like to chase. - No, no, no. That's just society, you don't. Like, you were taught that you do it, but you don't. - You were taught that those are like high value women. - True, true. But I mean, even in like, I would say even in like my like, into like my relationships with girls, if you're just like super ready all the time, that may not be perfect. But if, as I'm lying, no. So they're sculptural that. Yeah, she's right. Listen to her, all right? Is she right? - Listen to the expert. Yeah, just be funny and say to them all these. - And yeah, exactly. And then we'll just laugh it off. - You, I briefly stalked you 'cause I had no time to prepare, basically. You made quite a few videos that performed really well, at least on Instagram, about being a grower or a shower. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And most people with penises are growers. - Yeah. - So what made you start creating content like that? And the way that you created it. 'Cause it was like you were ashamed of being a grower. - Yeah, you know what? Yeah. Let me leave a light. There's a content, a tit-a content career who had that similar idea. - Okay. - But I always, like, in Jim's change rooms, I've never had a problem with it. - Okay. - Like, it was just the video, yeah. - Yeah, I'm a stupid boy. Like, we change in the change room. There's loads of guys there when I have the word out. You know what I'm saying? It's not ever been a problem for me. - No, we, no, then you're confident. That we've established that. (laughs) - But in some Jim change rooms, there's some old guys just without, and this song, it's long as hell. - Yeah. - I think what, and they just go on for ages. Just make it. I think what are you doing? Either they're just for, with that growing up show concept. Just the guy having a small word and then, like, getting bullied by these guys. And then, showing his true potential is just like, it's so outrageous, but that is hilarious. - Okay, see ya. Ha ha, so funny. But, (laughs) let's talk about penis size, 'cause like, were you ever insecure about your size? - You know what, not too much, but I think I was circumcised, and I used to go to the toilet and see like my guy's going extra bit today, winning in my country. So that was something I was apparently at about size. I don't think ever I've had a shoot from moving on. - Okay, you have a big dick. We get it. But like, do you think if you didn't? - Yeah. - Wouldn't have been a problem. Like, do you rely heavily on your, does it make you feel good about yourself that you are on the both average side? - Do you know what, yeah, I understand 100% he would. Yeah, in fact, one time, I went to a girl's house with my friend and they dare us to get our willies out. And he actually has a, he has a chopper. She has a chopper, yeah. And I was on, my thing was cold. I got mine out and they creased. They actually creased. - Okay. - Yeah, and she was like, oh my God, like what the fuck? I was like, no way is this happening. (laughing) So, and again, like getting changed in front of people at the football, I understand, yeah, if it's something that is you're concerned about, you may have come with it, but I don't-- - No, but why would you be concerned? Like the size conversation, it's, I think it's fucked up for me. And like, they grow up so insecure. And so, like I've had people that have a text with them, like, it's my size, okay? And I'm like, you're fine. Like, 'cause we're taught to make fun of small penises and you're all like, oh, big dick energy and all that stuff. And I think it's, like for men, it's hard. Like, you can't do anything about it. And then to get like an implant or whatever the fuck it, which is risky, yeah. So-- - No, it is, it's a really big, like, it's something that's put a lot of focus on. And I really don't think it's that important. - Because you're on the above average sign. - Do you know, you know what? - If you weren't, we were having a different conversation. - No, I was going by golf. Like, give me golf, yeah. Give me golf, yeah. I'm like, shout out to my boy. You know what I'm talking about, man? Go to the left, but the golf, give me the golf. - Wait, will you, will, okay. When we were gonna skip to the would you rather already, 'cause I finished with the would you rather, I'm gonna do it now. Would you rather, long and thin, or short and thick? - For you, for me personally, oh my God, that's so hard. That's so hard, long and thin. No, well, how thin, how thin are we talking? (laughing) - I'm being talking, please. - A pencil bit, baby. - A pencil bit. - If it's finger thin, I'm going, I'm going to figure short. - Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait. - Three fingers. - Wait, wait, wait, wait. This thing. - Ah, that's still like, hard. - That's, okay, short and thick, so that's crazy. (laughing) - Well, girth just feels better. - Yeah. - If it's long, it just hits the cervix, and then it doesn't fill you, it's like-- - This is what I'm saying. This is why people should be so concerned about their size, man. - Also, the conversation, you're so concerned about your size, because you want the penetration part to be a huge success. When she should be coming before and after that, not doing penetration, you know? - Yeah, man, still play is ticking. - So like, your dick is really irrelevant. (laughing) - I wouldn't say that, but-- - No, I wouldn't. Also, if it's too big, it just hurts. And you can't suck well, at least I can't. I have this one friend of mine, he's bi, and he will like swallow dicks. Like, you can see the bald shit. I'm like, wow, you can see it. You can see it in his throat. And like, he's not breathing, he's so turned on. - Do you have a small mouth? - And I do have a small mouth. And then once he, we were at the sex resort, he was sucking a guy's dick, a huge dick. And he was doing a great job. I was best married. I was like, oh my God, you're so good at that. And then he's like, oh, the guy was like, now you suck my dick. And I was like, babe, I know that. - I got that. I got that. I can't do that. - I can't do that. - Like, I literally can't do that. He's like, it's okay. And I was like, it's pathetic. Like, I can't do what he did. Like, I can't. - Shout out to Zach. I love you. (laughing) It's so funny. - Very. - I mean, I've had something like that. I've had some absolutely goat fruits. - Yeah. - Yeah, goat fruits. But yeah, my name, they ain't a lot. - Enthusiasm is what matters. - There is. - Like, it is. If she's happy to be there, you're like, no, that's so cute. Yeah. Okay, would you rather someone with like insane skills, like, holy shit. Like, wow. But like, they look like they're bored and like they're, we'd rather do anything else. Or someone that's like, eat technique, but they're like, so happy. And so enthusiastic and they're like, oh my God, I love this. - Skills. - You take skills? But the enthusiastic person can be taught. But the-- - You said they look bored though. - No, they are. - They have a person. - Okay. (laughing) - They have a person, yeah. - They're like, I'm good at this, but like, this sucks. - Yeah, I've had, I've had that actually. I trained someone off and it was amazing. - Right. But like, if they, like, if they want to, as long as you show that you care about someone's pleasure, you're kind of good. Like, you're fine. - 100%, 100%, enthusiastic learn, get better. It's even better. 100%, I'll give you that. What do you pick? - Which we win. - Them too. - Oh, enthusiastic. Like, if you're not obsessed with eating my pussy, I don't want it. - Yes, yeah. - I don't want it. - Big facts. That was actually the problem with one of my exes, you know. - Yeah. - Like, they just didn't, they weren't infused as back at it. - But were you obsessed with eating their pussy? - Yeah, I was down. - As you should. - I'm putting in the shiffs. I'm taking overtime. - But would you stop after she came once? Or would you keep knowing? - If she wants me to continue, I'm-- - No, you'll have to want to continue. - No, but I want to continue. - Okay. - Like, they know that. But yeah, like, yeah. - Inside. I'm in there. - Yeah, I'm in there. - Yeah, I'm in there. - So, why do you think this content performs so well? Is it because it's funny, or because it is still taboo, or because it's sex, or because it's just penis size, like? - Yeah, I think lots of guys relate to it. And I think, like you're saying, there is a huge focus on your size as a male, and it's something that's always in guys' minds. And I think that's why it performs so well. Like, even throughout my content, relatability is one of the key things we try to weave into every concept, no matter how crazy it actually comes out. And I think, yeah, what you're saying is right, man, just loads of guys are hyper focused on the size of their wood, and it really isn't as big as people think it is. So, I think that's the big thing. - Okay, I have like a darker question, because you're an Nigerian background. Do you know anything about female genital mutilation? - I do, I actually do know a bit about that, but not personally, just from what I've learned, and it's actually crazy, yeah. There's some tribes that come like, pick off. - No, it's still, no, it's still not. - Yeah, it's up, yeah, yeah. - I think 22 African countries is still performing. - That is crazy. - It's fucked up. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And like, yeah, that is, yeah. - You have, but do you have no experience with it? - No, man, man, I don't know if you're right, okay. - No, yeah, it's just-- - It is crazy, doesn't it? - No, it is. - Maybe that's a practice that goes on. - What is your problem? Just let vulvas be vulvas, and let them feel pleasure. Like, why are you taking their clitorises off? You're like, like, suturing them off, like, no. It's, I'm sorry, but like, it's fucked up. Go to some research. - For real, that is mental. - No, no, it is. It's like, the horror, like, what is your problem? - Yeah, I know. - You can be women. - What would you think about, like, premarital? Obviously, I know you think about premarital sex, but what do you think about, like, premarital sex? (laughing) - What, why do you think I'm kidding? Mom, my mom's always like, I come home from my trips, and she's like, you're coming, hey, guys, and I'm like, yes, like, we go through this, every fucking night, yes, I am. - Why are you surprising us? - Yeah, literally, let me be mom. But, okay, whatever, she was saying. - Yeah, but yeah, so-- - Premarital sex. - Yeah, so for people who want to do it, does that fight? You know what I'm saying? - I don't believe in marriage. Like, you do whatever the fuck you want to do. I think pleasure is so important. I think masturbate, get to know your body, explore with other people if you want to, if you don't. Like, you want to be Sullivan, be Sullivan, and embrace it. You want to be a slut? Be a slut. They're like, don't feel shame about it. Do whatever you want. The age thing, do it when you're ready. The more sex that you get, the later you fuck. Did you know that? Like, statistically, the more sex that you get, the later in life. You fuck. - You fuck. - Yeah. - Is it? - It is less STIs, less unwanted pregnancies. Like, later, start to sex. - Yeah, that's very true. - Yeah. - Yeah, it's, it's, it's. - Yeah, it's, that's crazy. - So yeah, my parents grew up growing up. They were like, wait until you're married. And I was like, why? And then they were like, wait, at least be in love. And I was like, why? - Why? - Like, why can't I just have sex to have sex? Like, what is wrong with you? - Yeah. - Yeah, so that's very big. - All right. - But if, if that is your values and you believe that you should wait and you want to wait, go up. - Yeah, do you think? - Wait, yeah. Sure. - Yeah. - Yeah, I like that perspective, isn't it? - Have you exploited any other male insecurities in your content? - Ooh, have I, have I, have I, probably, probably a lot. - What about height? - That's another one. - Oh, absolutely. - Or emotions. Like, expressing your emotions. Do you know what I normally do? - No, we're just giving him content. - Yeah, I can run that off. I got, I got bags of content now. More like playing under, under like the, the stereotypes of people rather than like the insecurities. - Okay. - But I might do more. - Well, let's do it in a different way. Not making fun of the fucking insecurities because then they'll be more insecure. - That's true, that's true, that's true, that's true. - But you know what, like, I have, I had a lot of people messaged me about the growing up, something, clip. And the guy used to just tell me like, ah, ah, this clip made me laugh so much. I'm a growing on show, blah, blah. She will talk to me and I think, and then I would tell them the same, like, you know what's not important? - Well, you started a conversation, which is really good. - You know what I mean? So, I do think it's, that is a great idea that I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna explain it some more. - Okay, I'll send you an invoice later. I think I'm gonna, I think I'm gonna. - Okay, do you have any exciting projects coming up that you wanna share? - I mean, I've created some short films. - You look fun. - Yeah, some short films of my guys, Callum and Tay. Shout out to my guys. And, yeah, man, I was just excited to get these done. And because, that's why I got into a content creation, 'cause I wanted to be in short films, I wanted to, no, not short films, I wanted to be in films. I wanted to write, I wanted to act. So, yeah, that's the stuff I got coming up to, I'm all content every day, you know what I'm saying? - One. - Do you ever get like, like, you don't wanna fucking do it? Like, you're just lazy, yeah, like, fuck no. - Every single day. - Yeah, okay. - Yeah, man, like. - But like, I listen to it, and like, I just don't, like, fuck everything, I'm like, not today, not tomorrow, not whenever, I feel like it. - But, you know, like this, this, especially TikTok, like, you have. - You have to. - Yeah, every day you have to like. - Do you batch record, or do you just like, every day? - When I can, yeah, when I can, I batch record, but like, I get sometimes I don't have that many ideas, like, and I don't like putting out content that I'm not happy with. - Okay. - Like, if I put it out, I've gotta be happy with it. So like, yeah, it just is every day, and yes, I do get tired so much of doing content, but I just know that it's for the next step, you know what I mean? It's not for now. - Yeah, for me, it's more like the getting ready. And then I end up recording in my pajamas. I'm like, this is who I am. And then I get ready, and they're like, you're so pretty, and I'm like, thank you. Thank you that you're used to seeing me in my PJs. Like, that's awesome. And you're still here. - That's brilliant, that is like a problem. - That's my brand, that's why we record, not here, but of course from bed, I'm a lazy, wrapped bed person. Like, I want to be in bed, I want to be comfortable in my pajama, I don't, it would be things in my pajama. So I'm like, I don't want to get ready. - I'm actually upset that I didn't get the bed treatment. - I'm so sorry, you know what I mean? Obviously, I'm not special enough. - You're special to lounge on the couch with me, not to get in bed with me yet. Part two. - Part two. - Part two. - I'll get a nicer bed, next time I'm in London. Okay, T, where can people find you? - You can find me on Instagram, TikTok, and the KingTM, hit me up, real KingTM on Instagram. - How do you spell it weird though? Spell it out for people that are just listening. - KingTM, not. - There's like underscores or something. - Oh yes, so Instagram, she got me though, she got me. - Really? - On Instagram, real underscore, king underscore TM, TikTok, king, I think underscore TM, YouTube, king, TM, TV, and the short films will be out somewhere I don't know yet, so this-- - This is coming out in months, so, yeah, in months. - Okay, yeah, it's not, it can't possibly be out. - So you're doing long for long for, I want to, on YouTube? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm so excited. - Yeah. - So, fun. Okay, T, thank you so much for coming. - Thank you for the invite, it's been a pleasure. - Are you ready to turn off the light? - Yes. (laughing)