The guys discuss why it’s so important to order your wedding album in paperback, how it’s not insulting to guess a woman’s age if you use a 20 year window, and when it’s necessary to specify what is NOT to be your eternal nickname before you die in a hole.
That Checks Out
Willie Wagtail, Doily Covered Doodads, and A Painful Bookmark
- Yeah, good countdown. - I told him. - Well, I just waved my blade as I go. - Yeah. - Let's go. - Yeah. - Hello, everybody. That checks out. I'm just gonna name him the show. What's it called? - That checks out with David and Ted and Jerry. - Yeah. - Jerry's over there. Say hi, Jerry. Might have a scream at him. (laughing) - Yeah, he said hi. - I said, might have a scream at him. - Hi, hi, I'm here. - David, how's your week? Don't tell me. - Right, yeah. - The other day, the dog disappeared. - Yeah. - And which is weird. 'Cause usually the dog is near someone. - You live next to David Copperfield? - No. - Okay. - The dog is in. - No, yes, just a thing. This is kind of this funny thing. When we do laundry, we put on the couch and we're folding it. - Yeah. - If someone takes a break and everything will just be a pile of warm, semi-folded laundry. - Oh yeah. - He likes to go over there and just, king of the hill it. - Very exciting. - And just start kicking it off the thing and like literally like. (growling) Right? And it's funny, but then he'll get tired and like he'll drop into it. He'd just see his face and it's like, huh? - Yeah. - But now I gotta refold that dick. - Yeah. - Anyway, he's gone. We can't find him. - Right. - And also he comes up from the basement and we're like, that's weird, hmm. And I also like, what's he doing in the basement? Am I the dog? I don't know what he's doing in the basement. Ask the dog. You're gonna get this about the same amount of information? - Yeah. - I have no idea. I think the implication was you go down there and use the sporting equipment that's down there, which the incumbent bike is in the upstairs and I wish that was in the basement. I would use it more. - Yeah. - But it's in the office. It's something to help you move it. - Yeah. Well, anyway, and I told you a few weeks ago, to this day, treadmill is still working. - Game on. - Anyway, I'm like, I don't take meals down in the basement. I don't house a bunch of pasta because I might need a carb load for the treadmill, right? - Right. - I don't eat down there. Now, I do have a thing of tic-tacs. - Ooh, okay. - 'Cause every now and then, like, I'll be like, ooh, I'm gonna, I'll have like three. You know, if this, this is the hypothetic of my life, it's like, I'm gonna have a treat. I'm gonna have three tic-tacs before I get on the table. - Wait a minute. - Did they tell yourself that? - Yeah, I'm gonna have those tic-tacs. - Are they like orange? - They are flavor? - No, yeah, they're, it's called fruit salad or something. - Ooh, okay. - But it's like, it's the lime ones, they're orange ones. - Well snacky snack. - I am diabetic. - Yeah. - Three tic-tacs is about all I get. (laughing) - I think it is life. - As long as my doctor is listening. - I think you get five. - Don't listen to all the other stuff. Anyway, I'm like, he's not down there eating the tic-tacs. - Yeah. - They're in a container. Think nothing of it. - It was just weird, 'cause we've been down there a little bit more this summer than usual, as a group, because we've had some storms roll through. - Oh yeah. - So we take the dog and everyone goes down there and we wait it out. - Right. - I usually get on the treadmill or get on the rowing machine or whatever, I get down there. I use my time wisely. Also, 'cause it's not seats for everyone. So I'm like, I'll take the rowing machine as a seat as a seat, I guess. - I can land on the ping-pong table but that's not comfortable. - Yeah. - Cut to the other day. It might have been the week I was, right after the week after the 5K that we talked about, I was, well, the month up to it, every day, 5K a day. I'm back in that gig. So even the day of the 5K I did a 5K, every week after that, every day after that, I think it was maybe Monday or Tuesday. That was a Sunday, Monday or Tuesday. I'm downstairs and also I look over and I see beach fudge. - Ooh! - I see a dog log on a cardboard box and I was like, huh. - On a box? - Like on a flattened box. - Okay, gotcha. - Which, kudos to him. - Thank you. - 'Cause now the stain is on the box. - Removing it. - Not on my, removals, easy. - Not into my cement pond. - Correct, right? - Right. - Not out of my concrete. And I was like, huh. And of course, I was like, of course. Last week, and this is the truth. Last week was the week I finally grabbed all the garbage bags. That happens 'cause the ping pong table, 'cause no one ever comes to play ping pong. Please challenge me. And you wanna come over? Give me a, give me a heads up. I need to clean the basement. But anyone wants to challenge me to ping pong. Come over, we'll have a great time. We'll have a good game. It's turned into just where people wrap presents. Birthdays, Christmas. - Gotcha. - So at the end of it, like at one end it was just, you know, the bags you'd buy the presents in, the scraps and the paper would go into those bags. But no one would take them upstairs. - Yeah. - And there's no garbage facility downstairs. And since I'm the house garbage man, even I was like, eh. So one day I was like, that's it. I'm just taking these all up. I'm throwing them out, recycling them when I can, doing all that stuff. That next week is the week I find the dog log. And I'm like, of course there is no bag. There's no container. And I was about to shout out, hey, can someone bring me, you know, poo bags 'cause from one of the orthodox. As soon as I like start to yell, I hear someone going up the upper stairs. - Oh, so now they're up on the other floor. So now your two floors up. And so finally I find a bag, I get it. I go to grab it, it is petrified. Which made me roll back like, this has been down here? - Right. - Since we lost the dog four weeks ago, didn't we? And I didn't notice it. You talked last week about people not noticing like, - Yeah. - Stuff on top of your fridge. - Right. - I'm so focused on getting those tic-tacs and getting on that treadmill. I didn't notice a fat log just hanging out in the middle of the floor. - Hey, by the way though, kudos your dog. It didn't stink. - Yeah, for sure. - Kudos your dog. - For sure. - All right. - So Titan's got something going on good. - It reminded me of this story. I think I told this on the pot. I found it, the day I found it was the day that the backside of our basement door is scratched. It looked like a criminal. It looked like a prisoner was trying to get out. - Okay, well, this has a lot about your house. - Is it? No, here's the thing. That was because of that time that I was called from work and said that there was a rat in the basement. - Oh, it was a muskrat, right? - Correct. - Yeah. - That's what it is. And that's when I was like, oh, that's funny. That's weird. I remember that I was in my head. I remember that happened. I looked down and like, that's where we had the cage where the guy caught, is that a shirt? Is that a turd? - Yeah. - That's what it, like, I was like, man, that's funny. The guy had to come over here and it was all scary. And I was told it was a rat and open it up and it was a size of a dog. And suddenly, is that a turd? - I literally said that out loud. Like the other part was in my head. But all of a sudden, oh, she's like, are you kidding me? And then I pick up the part that's on the box. And as I'm picking up, I look over and there's a couple of nugs that rolled their way over under the ping pong table, luckily not wet. So they weren't, but I was like, wow, brilliant. Like, now the funny thing is, is back when we had a ping pong table in my mom's house back in there. You remember that was like, yeah. Mac, picture this table that you have here in the back of like a van. - Okay. - That's where we had a ping pong table. - Yeah, same clearance. - Yeah, you could slide around every side of it. - Move the TV right here, and between the wall and there, that's how much room you had. - Yeah, that's about it. - And we made it work. It's funny, like when I went to college, they had tables that were wide open and I'd be like, all up on it. Like, you could back up. I don't know how. - Yeah, I don't, I can't play from here. - I can't play back there. - I play from here. I don't understand. - I'm playing like, I am humping this table. That's what we're doing. - If you cut wide angles, I have no idea what to do. - Right, I have no, I don't even know what to do. - I play net, that's all I do. I'm the net, right? - Yeah, yeah. - One time, the proprietor of Foot Wedge, custom pens, walked around to that side, the TV side, the thin side. And was like, whoa, get back around. There was, like, we had older dogs at that point. It was a size of a shoe. - No, really? - Yeah, just one log, but there were multiple logs. It was just a lot. Like, how long you been holding that, bro? - What to say? - But apparently, my point is apparently, whenever I have a ping pong table, the dogs that I own see it as toilets. - Well, let's just comment on how you play. 'Cause I played you, so I know. Hey, go over to Salsa Challenge 'em. It'd be really easy. - Also, I wanna put on the pot. I wanna get into pickleball. - Why? - 'Cause I wanna do something. - 'Cause you wanna-- - 'Cause you wanna wreck your MCLs and MCLs. - You were causing, like, all the middle-aged people, though. - Yeah. - Which you have 17 of them, so one of them 15 removed. - Right. - Said, hey, you should do this. First off, didn't come to the reunion. Starts bad dream, hey, how was your union? This was, and this was, like, days later. - Yeah. - This is weeks now. - You know how you could've found out? - Yeah, could've been there. - Hey, how did that reunion go? I'm like, which one? The one from four months ago? Yeah, it went pretty well. Well, how many people came? I don't remember. - Yeah, well, was it a good turnout? Not as good as 20, but so pretty good for 30 years. Oh, well, are there any pictures? Aren't you in the group? Turns out he wasn't. Oh, he wasn't, so I had it. I mean, he's like, well, I gotta wait for an admin to let me, like, I'm not an admin. - Yeah. - They don't let me have that kind of control. I assume some will let you, and then maybe it must, I don't know who was on the trigger, but someone was trigger-quick on that, 'cause minutes later, oh, so-and-so looks great. I know, I was there. - Yeah. - Hey, this person looks amazing. Again, I know. - Yeah. - Is that TJ? - She looks fantastic. Again, was there. - We were there. - We visited. Talked to her. Talked to her for a good long time. Had a great conversation, caught up, wonderful time. Andy Quigley was there. Yeah, I saw him. - Yeah. - I know. - Yeah, I love, yeah. - Yeah, it was just like, oh my God, do we have to go through this whole thing? So like, he's taking attendance. And he's like, well, who else is that? I would catch, and I get, I do feel bad that we took that group picture after a number of people at the time. - I know. - Yeah, that was rough. - I do feel horrible about that. But it's like, you know what you could have done? Well, I don't have a common lot of those people. Neither do I. You know what, do you have in common? - We went to school together. - Yeah. - That was the point of this thing. - I talked to everybody there. - You know what? Some people brought you up and like, oh really? Yeah, they were like, you were kind of an ass, but they were willing to give you a shot. - But you weren't there. - Yeah, well, some people were like, hey, I even went to Vegas and looked out Marty and nothing happened. Like I said his name, it was Marty. Anyway, but he didn't hang out with me. I'm like, they came to you and he didn't hang out. You didn't expect to, yeah, it was just. - I know. But suddenly I was like, why couldn't you show this much interest before the reunion, right? Also, hey, I noticed this guy wasn't here and this guy wasn't here and most of the people that I used to hang out with like, yeah, I only had an answer for one because it was the same answer all of them didn't want to come. Why? - I don't know. - I don't know. Again, ask the dog, you'll get the same amount of response. - Yeah, ask them. He crapped right over there on the cardboard, ask them. But no, that's pretty funny that he reached out that fast to be like, hey, how about that? He was invited. - Yeah, everyone was invited. - Yeah, writer, a foot wedge, custom pens was invited. - Everybody was invited. - What I really liked though, what I'm gonna miss now too, is like I had a lot of private messages with all them people 'cause you're exchanging information, you're getting stuff set up, you're doing this 'cause I was on the committee with you, you know, and doing stuff. I miss all that now and I know going forward, I'm gonna miss it even more. So I might just message people out of the blue, but I messaged him, he responded right away. I said, I need your address, I need your email address. Boom, right through. People were sitting at the meeting and they're messaging me right back and I'm like, you feel kind of cool for a minute. It's like, wow, it's nice that you took a second just to respond to me because we haven't talked. You know, you can easily be like, screw that guy, you know what I mean? But I guess I was your window to the invite, so in reality. - You needed me. - You were WTTW, you're my window to the world. - You needed me, right. And I also will accept your charity. So yeah, WTTW. Remember these-- - They were the things for? - Window to the world, yeah. - Yeah, window to the world's largest store, WGN, world's greatest newspaper. These letters meant something. - TCO, that checks out. - That checks out, hey! - How do you not understand? - You said the thing! - How do you not know this? - Window to the world, my goodness. - Hey, channel 11. - So I didn't guess in Chicago, everyone. Public broadcasting. So I don't have anything to talk about for my week. - Oh, I got some more stuff, you want to go? - Do you really? - Yeah, okay, so we had our show, my show the other night. - Yeah. - Weeks ago now. Now that I feel like there's some distance, I can say this. - Yeah. - So I set up the Eventbrite thing, right? I produced the show. - For tickets, for tickets. - You were credit and I don't want anyone to say that I'm not giving a credit. Jamie Hooper did all of the set up at the school, did all of that stuff. - She was monumental. Executive producer extreme. - Yes. - In terms of setting up the comedy side, getting the comedians in the show and all that stuff, you helped out with the sound system, thank you. - Yeah. - We'll talk 'em over. Anyway, I set up the ticket thing, for the online tickets. And it was only because that's what you have to do in this day and age. - Right. - You don't print tickets out, you don't do it like I think. Oh my God. All, everyone that bought a ticket, I would give an email. Hey, so and so about tickets, thank God. 'Cause I can't tell everybody, I can't get these tickets. I bought tickets, but I can't get these tickets. One of them was a friend of my mother, former teacher of ours. - Understood. - I said, okay, I've never used the system before. I forwarded the thing, I said, well, just get 'em to there. The problem was, is that I had to put it on my card 'cause the card I was given didn't work, the other card I was given didn't work, so I had to pay for them. So now they're under my name. I have, it'd be 17 emails of my mom trying to change, my login to the event, right? So she can get the tickets. And then I was like, please stop doing that. I'm figured out what's happening. Here's a PDF. I also get emailed a PDF of the tickets. Here's a PDF of the tickets. Also, I know she bought tickets. I will tell who's over at the front. If this person comes in and says her name, she can come in. Done deal. We were done with it. Please stop trying to, they know her. - Yeah, also, please stop trying to wipe out the system that is collecting the money for all these tickets. 'Cause if you log me out, don't remember how you got in. - Right. - It's gone. - I don't think password remembrance is probably, you know what I mean? - Yeah, she's not usually, listen, by the way, I was had a security. - Regardless, better. - Oh. - I said here, here is, I didn't have the person's email. I said, mom, here is a PDF. Do nothing else. Just forward this email. And I called my mom and I said, please stop trying to change my login to the place where the tickets are being set up. Yeah, oh, I didn't know I was doing that. Well, you are. I'm getting an email every three minutes. Someone is trying to open up an account. Under this, someone is trying to open an account. So, okay. Weeks go by. Yeah, weeks go by. We're getting close to the show. The week before the show. Also, I started getting those emails again. I'm like, what's going on? Why don't they get an email forwarded from my mother? Hey, someone so can't get her tickets. She keeps trying to use the link. I was like, what happened to the PDF? (laughing) What is happening? And then in her, do my mom's credit email and said, I'm forwarding this to Ted. Please stop doing anything. I know this will upset him. (laughing) Oh, you're right. (laughing) You triggered it. Angry Ted is in the house, everybody. (laughing) So, they're like, oh, she knows me. Well, she knows me. I went and got the sent email. I sent to my mom, deleted everything, except the PDF and I was like, here's a fresh one. Fresh start. Dear Mrs. former teacher. Yeah. Please let me know if you can open this PDF. And if you can't, we will work it out. Do not worry about your tickets anymore. Sincerely, please stop trying to change the password to my event write account. Yeah. Oh my God. Then you get a text. I still can't get them. 'Cause I think when I said stop to my mom, I think she stopped and didn't actually send the last email, which is what I needed her to send, not the other ones. Oh my God. But it was just like, all of a sudden it was like, bling, bling, bling. What's happening? 'Cause that's the only email I have automatically alert me. Everything else just is silent. Right. 'Cause I want that one pop up and I was just like, what? Oh, first I got excited. People are buying tickets. We're gonna sell this out. Password change. Nope. So I'm gonna try to get into my account again. (laughing) So are you the only one that in your own hometown doing a show like that, had to like basically get a cease and desist against your own mother? Pretty much. Okay, that's how that works. So I was like, yeah, could you, yeah, the lady that has a picture of not only me and Damon in her window, but also in her front yard, that lady, I don't want her near me. Yeah. But she's got, yeah, I know, she's a, what it helped. I mean, that actually led to our argument. Yeah, look at her. She's a, she's a weird fan. She's got a sign in her yard and in her front, I know? Stalker. That I swear I never hit with the, with the car. Never, not even once. Weird. Stalker. Bud. So a cease and desist probably comes in pretty handy then. So you, did you have to have your, like your turning right up or? Well, yeah. But I use the guy that got us the company, deceased and assist. Yeah. That's what it is. Yeah. Here's a deal. God, that was one of the best ones. That was, that was actually pretty good. Yeah. When they wipe your phone clean. He probably does. He probably does. Jerk. All right. So I'm not going to go into fun fast. Oh, hold on. I got to tell you this. Do you have something else? One more thing. You are a funnel. Yeah. I know last week I had nothing. All right. Shut up. We don't care. That's a week prior, but go ahead. That's all good. You're a concert or something. And someone named Xavier, Eric Williamson responded on it. Wait. Wait, what? Yeah. And I was like, and I looked it up and like this is not, and I wrote, I was like, there is. Well, I mean, I was like, first off, I said the bar is pretty low, but there is an epic way cooler. Eric Williamson out there. Right. And you know them and apparently it's related and they're, it's like a, you know, namesake kind of thing. And I was like, no, no, no, you're dead to me. There is an Xavier, Eric, like if there was an Xavier Ted Wilson out there, or a, I do a podcast with an X. Yeah, I do. I mean, I do a podcast. If there was someone out there that had my, my entire name, but then a really cool name on the front of it. Right. Like Fernando. I would, I would let him put a third L in his head. Oh, for sure. His first name was Xavier. Like he started, he started writing me back. I'm like, no, I don't, I don't think I understand. Like we are done conversing. Yeah. Yeah. Please stop. When I see the kazoo, whisker crew logo, I'm not going to like a think it's you. Yeah. I go forward in the email that you get to your mom, cease and desist. I said cease and desist. Can you wrap this guy up too? Yeah. I'm done with this guy. Okay. Now, now I think I'm done. What I want to do, I want to read you, this is, this is titled the best obituary I've ever read. Okay. And here's a deal obituary is really, they're, they're always somber. This one here, um, it's very joyful for two people. Okay. It says Kathleen Demlo in parentheses, shunk, S-C-H-U-N-K. Okay. It's like skunk with an H. I don't know, whatever, um, was born on March 19th, 1938 show lady to Joseph and Gertrude. Well, when your mother's name's Gertrude, you're an Ollie. Yeah. That's just how it is. Okay. So it says she married Dennis Demlo at St. Anne's in Wobasso in 19. She was a dead loan. She married Dennis. No. Yeah. Cause apparently shunk was her second married name. Demlo was her first married. I got it. Um, so it says she married him, uh, in 1957, so she would have been, what, 29 years old. Okay. Wait. She had- Wait. 38 to 57? 30. Oh, wait. 38 to 57. I, for somebody that thought it was 18. Yeah. But yeah, 38 to 57. So she's 19 years old. She had two children, Gina and Jay, don't get ahead of the story, but two people are very happy. Okay. In 1962, she became pregnant by her husband's brother, Lyle Demlo, and moved to California. I'm sure this wasn't a hometown. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She, she abandoned her children. Willieton, lady. Yeah. What's her name? Shunk, Florida woman, uh, she abandoned her children, Gina and Jay. Remember two names? Yeah. Who were raised by her parents, uh, Mr and Mrs. Joe Schiff, shunk. She passed away on May 31st, 2018. So this is older in Springfield and will now face judgment. She will not be missed by Gina and Jay and they understand the world is a better place without her. Listen, you spend probably a dollar to $1.50 per word. Yeah. And you said totally worth it, won't see you at the crossroads. But these ads ads get cheaper as, as we go on. I mean, used to be when you do this stuff, this was expensive, expensive, expensive. You know? Well, yeah. I remember even my own man's been going almost a quarter century and it was like, uh, hey, what papers do you want it in? Well, we want this, this, and this. That'll cost that much. Ooh. So just local. Yeah. And we'll put a flyer out in front of the house. Right. Yeah. We got a sign. We're going to take Ted's face off. Yeah. So let's take that out of the crib. Right. Yeah. Let's back that out. Yeah. So people in Chicago don't need to know. Yeah. Okay. We decided. Yeah. New York Times probably don't know who he is. Yeah. That's right. That was just you'll burst on us. Yeah. Let's. Yeah. Let's get that. It's like Jean and Jay. Okay. I can tell you for the first time I said their name who's absolutely, uh, I don't want to say ecstatic, but they, they're, they are, uh, non-descript. They don't care. Right. But to go and say, I'll still take the paper and I'm going to spend my, I don't know. So say it's a dollar a word. They, they spent, you know, 200 bucks here. You know what I mean? To put it in the paper? Yeah. Uh, just to tell everybody what a scumbag, their motherless. Oh God, Mike, you got to die first. You know what I mean? I think that's what Damon is saying. Yeah. I'm, I'm just saying something right now. You better outlive me because I will write, I will write your obituary myself. So. Don't answer if we can have everything in this video. Yeah. I'll be like, uh, uh, Brian Mack Ender, uh, had a shower. Neverland anybody in it. Yeah. You know what I mean? He had a shower. He had a, uh, where, uh, you really like that song. You're going back to that all the time. So many. Wow. That's been two studios ago. Yeah. That's because I really thought you had two, two studios, two, two studios. Uh, oh. Okay. There's a collage. Different songs. Same collage. You saved me with the collage. Now let's do some fun facts. All right. Besides the fact. We don't have a button for that. No, besides the fact gene and J. We don't have a button for that. We hate their lips. We have a button for that. We have a button for that. I forgot about it. You ready for this? Are you ready for this? Are you ready for this? The Willie Wagg tale. Well, all right. Is a highly territorial. All right. Okay. Silence. Silence. Willie Wagg tale. I'm in. Okay. Yeah. That's son of a bitch. I'm in. So we know if we ever lose anybody at the park, our code word is really wagtail. We're here. We're like, he's over there. We found him. We found the dog. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. We're really wagtail. Yeah. Two counties over. I can hear him. But it says it's a highly territorial and will aggressively chase away much larger animals. It's a bird. Okay. Oh, that's why he wants to kill it. It chases away larger animals, including get this eagles, snakes, and even humans when protecting its nest. It flares its white eyebrows. I'm going to add the word old man. I want to see a gang of eagles and snakes and humans. I would love to see. And then they'll be like, hey, I got this. No, I got this. And suddenly they're like, no, no, no, I'm out. I didn't realize that he could get all the way up the foot. That's Willie Wagg tale. Okay. I had no idea. I thought one of us would be okay. Yeah. So I don't know if he has access to the screen, but I would love to see a Willie Wagg tale. He has huge eyebrows. I also don't know if Jerry doesn't know that the screen is not. The screen is not on. It's not lit up, but it says it flares its white eyebrows to look more intimidating. So like an old man would, right? And then the small bird is known for its bold and fearless defense of its territory. So it's got a little man syndrome, but it's got old man eyebrows. That's it. Yeah. I think you take down eagles. Yeah. Yeah. So is there something to be said about when you look angry? Like if you look pissed off, it's got resting bird face. I will say. I think that's what it is. Sitting there listening to other people talk and like, are you all right? Yeah. I'm fine. Well, you don't look all right. Thanks. I guess I'll take that as a compliment. Right. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, do you not like this job? Like, wow, this is going deep fast. Yeah. I am just sitting here listening to other people bitch about stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I heard this back in my fantasy draft. Somebody said to me, you know him, but he said to me, he's like, are you all right? I'm like, yeah, why? He was, well, you're not laughing. Nothing's funny. I'm just like, I will, I will laugh when I hear something that amuses me. Like Willie Wagg tale. I'm the guy over there, you know, yeah, I might clown how funny, huh? But yeah. So see the eyebrows. Yeah, I do see them. Yeah. Apparently be having that one. That's the second one up there. He does look pissed. He looks angry. He looks very angry. He really does. But, but it also doesn't like, if I saw that or a goose, yeah, I'm going after Willie Wagg tale. But, but am I to believe now humans, when they see somebody with a, with an angry look on their face, they ask, hey, are you having a bad day? Hey, are you okay? I don't know that a snake cares what your eyebrows look like. And this thing, it beats up snakes. Now zoomed in. Oh, zoomed in. Oh, he's absolutely pissed. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He looks like the bird version of Angry Ted. He does. He looks like if he said, get off my lawn and could shake his little, little feathery. Get out of my sky. Get out of my sky. All right. So. Freezing all my air. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Ted wasn't when he was running a couple weeks ago. Oh, yeah. No, no, no. Yeah. But, but again, I wonder what these birds weigh because it doesn't say there's nothing, there's no scale. Like I can't tell. Like I could. Okay. Let me show you this picture. There's a scale. Look what it's standing on. It's standing on the top bird. That's an eagle, ain't it? Yeah. It's sitting on an eagle. Well, he's also standing on a sheep. This was standing on a sign. You showed me four birds sitting on four different things. What's he standing on? One of these things. He doesn't belong here. One of these things isn't the same. Two signs and eagle. By the way, it never says in there that it flares up at, at signs. So it doesn't, it doesn't really get pissed at signs, but it's a small bird and it's known for its bold and fearless defense. So it reminds me of that cartoon. Put him up. Put him up. Put him up. Put him up. Come on. You know? Yeah. He weighs not even an ounce. Oh man. Are you kidding me? I feel like you could use this as like, you know, flick football in the table. Just flick. Yeah. Well, I got, I got news for you. Your dog leaves bigger stuff in the basement than this. Oh, yeah. Your dog is not scared of this bird. Yeah. It might have been in the log. It might have been away. Okay. Did that log have eyebrows? I don't know if that had eyebrows. Do they look angry? Was it angry looking? That turd looking angry? Yeah, ferocious looking turd. It is what it is. Dude, dude, dude, dude. All right. Here's the second one. The man of the hole. That's in quotes. Oh, all right. Whoa. Okay. Was the last surviving member? Yes. Was the last surviving member of an uncontacted tribe in the Amazon. He was in the hole? Yeah. I guess so. But he lived in total isolation for about 26 years and he dug deep holes in his dwellings, likely for defense or hunting. So how? I just went totally blank. Totally shut off. Totally shut off. I noticed Mac is also walking around. Oh, yeah. Now it's back. So what happened there? Wow. She'll be coming down to audio podcasting where they will record you in a very professional. He's got a great couch. Yeah. He's got a great couch. Hey, welcome. You can use the couch. Finally, there's skill in this room. All right. Mac, feel free to turn your microphone back on Mac. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, for those of you that missed it, the man in the hole, he dug deep holes for doing his dwellings. Dude, he doesn't walk any to see his eye, like his angry eyebrows, just a bump above the hole. Wouldn't it suck though? If like he, he forgot where he dug the holes and like all of a sudden, like all the time he's just falling in his own holes? Yeah. Damn it. That's why he's so angry. Yeah. He just keeps falling in the holes. We don't want to mess with him because he's got a eyebrows. He's very pissed off. He looks like a bird that I'm familiar with. Imagine though, being like a younger person in one of these tribes and looking up and seeing flying things. I mean, like, yeah guys, I think we're missing something. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not exactly edgy-micated, but I think that's something going on up there. Yeah. Well, and it says they found his body in August of 2022. He's believed to have died from natural causes. When natural causes, you're the only man. Yeah. You found a hole. No one can get you out. He died of a broken leg. He was an old man. He fell in the hole and he was like, oh, this is bad. Yeah. This isn't going to work out. Remember how I killed everybody here? Oh, no, this is going to be a movie. I think they're going to call me the man in the hole because that's really going to piss me off. Yeah. That's what they're going. It is. Yeah. These are literally writing this out on the walls of the hole. This is what's happening. Do not. I do not call me the man in the hole. And then everything gets wiped away except, hey, this guy wanted to be man in the hole. Oh, yeah. This is the thing. Yeah. They do not. It's gone. Just totally gone. Just everything's gone. Man in the hole. Oh, it's like he labeled himself. Look at this right here. Yeah. But then people to go see their movie. This is not what I expected. Yeah. It was going to say it's like a two and a half hour version of Castaway. There's no soccer ball. The same people that went to go see naked lunch. This is not what I thought it would be. Yeah. This was totally awful. Yeah. Why did I even bring lotion to this? Anyway. Here we go. Wow. Wow. Wow. That came around the corner. I did not get that at first. That was my Willie Wagtail. Sorry. But anyway, in 2010, a nutrition professor named Mark Hobb lost 27 pounds on a diet of Twinkies. Mark is my guy. All right. I want to know. As long as you are active and you have a caloric deficit, you can lose weight. But he's got Twinkies Doritos and sugary snacks proving caloric intake, not nutrition, drives weight loss. Yeah. Now, let me explain something to you about 12 days, Brendan Disney, 15.2 pounds. Okay. Walk in 30,000 steps a day. What goes up? Yeah. Up and up and up. My weight. Yeah. That's what goes up. Yeah. I was eluding to it. Right. I had a negative deficit every day of, and I had a positive, positive weight increase. Very positive over 12 days span. So I don't know that old Marky Mark here really knows what he's talking about because I didn't eat Twinkies and Doritos. I ate steaks and prime rib and chicken sandwiches. You know what I mean? I got to get my race breath in for this. Yeah. No one likes to break. Right. But, but it says not nutrition drives weight loss. I disagree. He's a scientist. He's a professor. Oh, yeah. And this is from 2010. I bet you this has been debunked since then. No, it hasn't. It's been tested and retested and rebooted. It's been rebunked instead of debunked. Yeah. It's rebunked is how they call that. Repunked. Yeah. Science. Did you bunk this again? Yeah. Then I rebunked it. I bunked it twice. I'm in the bunker division. You see that over there? I bunk that. What? I don't know. Are we talking about the same thing? You know, it's funny is that if I was just coming this room, I would know which one of you is producing the podcast and which one of you is on it because you both are just facing a microphone holding your phones. Yeah. It's crazy, ain't it? Yeah. Yeah. I'm checking emails, everybody. Don't mind me. Let me just get a mute the wrong mics and walk on out of here because I'm a scumbag. So anyway, I didn't take it to that level. I did. I did. You are scumbag there. I took it. Yeah, for sure. So here's my last fun fact. This one, I actually kind of knew I didn't know the number roughly five million cells in your body die every second. About 25 million. Most years are brain. It's weird because that's true. Yeah. It's weird. Nailed it. Yeah. About 25 million cells died while you were reading this fact. Yeah. Well, most of them, while you were reading it, were. I'm sorry. Were you? I'm sorry. But five million cells in your body. So here's the deal. I can't burn a pound while I'm at Disney eating, prime rib and steaks and chicken sandwiches. And pasta, into the pizza place. And then we got a Mickey waffle and a turkey leg. I don't know. Is it weird though that I added chicken sandwiches my third? Like I started off so strong. Yeah. You're like, I had steaks and prime rib and I also had a tuna melt. Okay. Great. Good for you, buddy. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you. Right. Right. Was this all at one city? Was it a challenge? You hadn't had bread like 40 weeks before. It's probably the bread. Right. Your price, probably the bread. And it just went. I want a water a day. Okay. I got a sponge. Yeah. We're soaking that up. I got a sponge. We're going to put it right in here. Imagine me on that island. I don't even fit in the holes. It's like, listen, I can dig these holes all I want. I'm not going to fall in them. Okay. I barely, it's barely uncomfortable. Like my ankle. I sit there. I'm like, I think I just twisted my ankle. Is that a skate park? Well, we had to make all the holes one like an empty pool. It's a half pipe. So he'd fit in. It's a half pipe. So here's the deal. He can't get out. Okay. He can't get out at all. Man of the hole. Man of the half pipe. Yeah. That's me. I'm like the Tony Hawk of the Amazon. That's me. So you ever take it over your sweet jumps? Maybe it was half pipe sweet jumps. All right. Now, off fun facts. You know how sometimes I have a but why, but I want to start here first because I think that needs to go in this order. Don't start by why. I have a TCO love connection. Wow. You know, we have these ones. I'll come back in two and two. Yes. We have, we have these ones in a while. Here's the best one. I dated a guy in 2021. Did you? That's kind. That's very progressive of you. Just let everybody know who was kind and had a good heart but was always broke. Unsure of how to end things, I faked my own unaliving by texting him as my cousin and telling him. Wait. Okay. I didn't get it at first. Yeah. I faked that by texting him. Well, I found a flaw in your slaw. Go ahead. As your cousin got. Yeah. This is not me. Yeah. I'm dead. I mean, you know, he's dead. Yes. She handed me this phone and to text him that she is dead. But it says by texting him as my cousin and telling him, only family could attend my funeral due to regulations. What kind of regulations? Listen, when you go to your buddies and you go, what happened at Chick-fil-a-Dade? She died. You didn't even tell me. No, I couldn't go. Regulations. Whatever the services, I couldn't go. First off, it's regulated. Regulations. It's regulated. You guys not know? There are rules in this country. Regulators. Mount up. We're going to a funeral. Okay. Here's where we go. But it says, after blocking him, I monitored his post from a fake account and saw he was devastated. So now she's like, "Ah, you know, he did mean. I did mean a lot to him." Luckily, we had no mutual friends, so my active profile remained hidden. Now that he's doing well and has a great job, I want to reconnect, but I don't know how since he thinks I'm dead. Oh, are we going long lost, like, twin? Yeah. Are the cousins a twin? Yeah. Here's the deal. Here's the last sentence. Help because I love this man. I'm back. Your love has resurrected me. Here's from the grave. All right. Here's all she needs to do. She needs to date. One of those rented allorians. Yes. Right? Yeah. Pull up where we were. Shapoo, shapoo, shapoo. He runs out. Guess what? I'm back. I'm from the future. But I'm from the past because I'm dead in the future. Yeah. But I can be alive now. But I saw you have money now. Yeah. So I'm from right now. I saw you don't. Oh my bad. I wasn't dead. My bad. That's so great. Anything I was amazing. Loved him. Great charisma. Great conversations. Everything was great about him. Had no money. Yeah. He broke his joke. Now he's got money. I want back in. Broke is a joke. But he's a love of my life. I love this man. Love this man. So that's her. So death do his part. As long as he's got cash. Yeah. Till death do his part. What did you just say? Was that death? Did you? Wait. Can I get a replay on that? Can you play that back? Can we play that back? What was that? Yeah. I love this man. No. I think. Look what she's wearing. Is that crocheted? There's a chance that's crocheted. Correct? I'm real loud to see this. Is that crocheted? This feels, this feels naky. You feel dirty, right? Yeah. Okay. Well also it feels like she cut up. She's just wearing grandma's afghan. She's cut. She cut it up. It looks crocheted. Like if I had- Actually it looks like she took two potholes and so that to grandma's afghan. Doyles. Yeah. She has Doyles over her doodance. All right. Is that the technical term? Doodad Doyles. I like it. We're going medical now. Yeah. Yeah. I want to keep it clean. You know, for the people. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? No. Meant to go and I talk about it means nothing. Yeah. That's what it is. No. But anyway, if you think that you know how to get this is in this- At this point, I say just- I have no advice. No. I say just walk right into it. You think so? Oh yeah. Here's a deal. What if you can walk into it? He almost dies because he sees you. Oh, is this like a Romeo and Juliet thing? You see what I'm saying? Whereas one of them thinks they're dead. I was just talking about this as someone else. Then she kills them with this American gold. It's like the original sitcom where they like they misunderstood the thing and so the whole episode is based on the misunderstanding. That's all Romeo and Juliet is. That's where we are. That's where we are. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I apologize. Come on now. Romeo and Juliet. That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is. That's what it is. Romeo and Juliet is. So, but in reality- But you know what I mean? It's like the misunderstanding. Not that to death. Well, actually not to death because I would ruin it. You want to at least get married so you have his money. I was going to say. Yeah. Yeah. Look at me. Hey, you know what? I knew that I was holding you down. I knew you could make it. I just had to step out for a little bit. You were to emotionally attach. That was on you. That was your thing. Now that you've grown, you've matured, you've got some cash. Let's leave that part out. I didn't say that out. I didn't say that out. I'm back. Yeah. I'm wearing my grandma's afghan. I'm posting it online. Yeah. A lot of people that look closely can see my cheese nips. Can you just get it, but could you go get it like a nose job and be somebody else and just be like, "Hi, my name's..." Well, if he only knows it, that he's wearing blankets and things as clothing, she fills up in a regular outfit. Maybe that'd be enough. Right. He's like, "Hey, I got a tracksuit." I'm not hurt. You're not hurt. I'm just saying like, "Hey, I'll miss connection. I catfish this guy. I reverse catfish this guy. I want to uncatfish this guy and recatfish this guy." Also, here's a picture of me practically in my underwear. I don't understand that. Catfish taste. Do you have any advice? Do you have any advice? Yeah. Cover up those doilies. That's what you want to do. That's what you want to do. You're due dads. Keep your due dads covered up. No. That's the other thing because I'm looking at the picture and I'm laughing. I'm like, "I'm going to show you." It does look like something that was crocheted. Oh, I'm sure. I mean, that is a thing. Yeah. Is that a thing? Let's go back around now. Get out of here, really? You know the one thing... I asked the kids in the room. The one thing about the afcan? It feels like we're doing this in a library and we're not supposed to be interrupting the other people on the other side of this setup. The cubicle that is so handy, everyone is ignoring us completely. We got rid of the cubicle walls. We would have come in so handy today. I don't even understand. It's room for a full-on audience again. No one is paid attention to the adult. Even the guy that usually pays attention and does funny stuff on the screen is like, "I don't care today." Can we film us in front of him? Why are you struggling over here today? I could have been home by now. He keeps putting stuff on the screen and then deleting it. He's hurting. He's hurting. He's like, "I could have been home." Yeah. I could have been eating one of those delicious aforementioned chicken sandwiches, but here I am listening to these two guys try to find their way out of a toilet store. Let in with the chicken sandwich. All right. Wait, we have chicken sandwiches? That would be great. All right. Hold the bread. So here's my butt wire. Last in should have brought the food. I'm going to follow this right up with a butt wire. Are you ready? Nothing. Is that the coach of silence over there? Why? Why? That is creepy. I don't like it. Are you using that? I don't like it. I don't like it at all. Why? We're putting it in. We'll touch your brain. So can you read under this picture? Oh, I think it's about why. Don't just read a cold. Read right underneath the picture. What do we got? "Wife, burst open husbands testicles by smashing them in their wedding photo album after she catches him cheating." Ooh. Okay. Also, I love above that. It says, "Roses are red. Earth's climates is heating." Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You want to read it? Go ahead. "Roses are red. Earth's climates is heating. Wife, burst open husband testicles after she catches him cheating." Yeah. That's why I said, "Just read the bottom so we get the headline." But yeah, you can go back and read the poem. That's okay. It's a haiku. It's a haiku. Wait, wait, wait. Yeah. I said, "Is that the pandemic?" Okay. But here's where we're at. This is why it's about why. You could smash your husband's-- But why? Yeah. Doo-dads. You could smash your husband. Why? Yeah. You could smash him with anything. But you chose to go grab the wedding album. Which, yeah. If you're going to smash him, that doesn't-- How ironic. Well, that-- I surely she did that for the message. Right. Yes. But also, I think I would have done something more painful. You think so? Yeah. Yeah. Now, is it a three-ring binder? Ooh. Yeah. You get your-- Yeah. You get your doodads caught in one of those. Yeah. Forget it. Think about it, though. First you smash it. Then you wish you'd just had the frank. No, but first you smash it. And then you open a page and paper cut the whole thing sideways. Oh. Did you just-- you just threw up in your mouth, didn't you? Oh, yeah. That hurts. Think about it. Paper cuts. Just a hundred paper cuts. Oh, my mouth. I just shuttered from the-- Yeah. But a hundred paper cuts. You know, just-- Oh, yeah. Yeah. Again. Yeah. That's-- that's what I would do. Hey, Google. Hey, Google. Hey, Google. Paper cut doodads. [laughter] Is that a real thing? Hey, it's coming up in my screen. Can we get that? Doodads? Yeah. He's probably googling something. But again, so you found him cheating and you said, "I'm going to damage him physically." Now, you know what if-- Yeah. What if she's like, "Hey, I was just looking at the wedding album. Do you want to reminisce with me?" And he's like playing the game. And he's like, "Oh, then you're just sitting on the couch." Yeah. It's near the doodads anyway. Yeah. He's just like, "Hey, I'm going to go get a drink." Stands up, picks it up with it, turns around and just, "Foom." Right in his-- Or is he so dumb? Right in his chicken scene with-- Is he so dumb or she's like, "Listen, you know what would turn me on? You ever played bookmarking?" [laughter] All right. Now, I want everyone to know what he's going to do. I have never heard nor played a bookmark, but I know exactly what he meant. I know you did. Yeah. Because that's all your face. Yeah. And I'm going to believe it. That's all your face. Yeah. But I just laugh because he's so dumb where he's like, "I don't know." He's like, "I don't know." Oh, wait a minute. I was trying to get you involved. Yeah. I was trying to mess up that side of the library. He's throwing stuff at me, guys. Yeah. Yeah. Not money, but he's throwing something. So-- Yeah. I was throwing his stuff at him. Yeah. I was going to say, "It's your wedding album. Let's play bookmark." But imagine this guy where he stands up and he's like, "Bookmark, what's that?" You know? It's bookmark. [laughter] And now the paper cuts. You know? No! [laughter] Stop. Get that out of your well. I don't want you to go to that in your well. Wow. So what's weird is, you have to change your haiku from heating to what rhymes with bookmark. [laughter] That's it. You know what? That's going to be a new thing. I think I just created that. Yeah. This story just went dark. David invented a game called Bookmark. Yeah. That does feel like we're doing a game show now. Let's put it on the book. You know? I'll just get it out. Anyway, that's all I wanted to say. That was a but why. I feel like there's so many other things you could do there, then actually using the wedding album. Yeah. So I got the weapons around the house for you to walk around the house and go, "What could I hurt somebody with?" I know. I know what I could use. The wedding album. The wedding album. Yeah. Yeah. I get it. It was for the message. It was the message. But the message was received. Now, was that a mugshot? It might be because she's smiling ear to ear. Yeah. She is very happy. Yeah. Hey, what are you in for? I bookmarked a guy. [laughter] Book of Daniel. No. Bookmarkum, Daniel. I got this. Ooh. I got it. Husband's tesicle. Not smashed. Yeah. Yeah. See? But then you followed up with paper cuts. That's... I don't understand why we didn't go by. Why are you so obsessed with paper cutting this guy's open wound? Because I just feel like she missed an opportunity. Unismesticals. [laughter] Smashedicles? Yeah. There you go. There you go. There you go. There you go. There you go. There you go. It was one of those smash burgers. All right. Now, last, last but not least. Let's do a strange story. I like the title so much, this is why I decided to do it. I have no idea what the story is. The titla? Yeah. It says Las Vegas Woman. So, we're back to our friend in Las Vegas. Yeah. Las Vegas Woman arrested after stealing casket with body and side, her release. Okay. Patricia Sierra. She sounds like a pickup truck. Okay. Well, she sounds like someone who works in Vegas. Correct. Okay. It's charged with grand larceny. Welcome to the stage. Patty Sierra. Yeah. Get out of your shammies. Like a rock. We're going to wipe her down. Wait, who's the rock in this situation? Why does she have rear sprayers? Does she have a rear wiper blade? What's going on here? So, she's charged with grand larceny, burglary of a business, and removing and transferring are disturbing human remains. How do you know was in there? I just wanted a box. I wanted a box. Yeah. I don't know if there was going to be a man in the box. I'm the man. Sorry. It's a sock. Javier Barajas of Las Vegas, who received criticism for hosting. Oh, wait. What is this? Oh, he was hosting an event. And Las Vegas woman, she was arrested after she was seen there because they caught her on surveillance. Oh, breaking into a funeral home. It started in the middle. I don't know how. I just copied and pasted it. And if you're home, seemingly a casket occupied by a corpse before leaving. So they busted her at this guy's party. Yes. This is a pebcat situation. Before leaving both items in the front of the business, wait a minute, she left in front of the building. Okay. Sierra. Let's just call her Chevy. Okay. GMC at about 530 in August 29th, they charged her with more than $1,200, but less than $5,000. So what is your body worth? I don't know what's your life's worth, but your body is worth less than $5,000. Not going to take it. I got a great little number here. We're getting a little petty. Yeah. We're going to knock that down. We can't have it going down for $5,000. We're going to knock that down. $1,999? $1,200 sold. Yeah. Do I hear $1,200? But it says officers responded, okay, get the name. You're ready to the affordable cremation, imperial service of Las Vegas. Yeah, that sounds like the adequate. Yeah. Here's a deal. You could get burned for a lot more money. Okay. This affordable. Okay. Don't go to the cheap guy. We're using the commercials. See this fire? Cause same amount as this fire. Why are you paying extra for this fire when you can get into this fire for an affordable cost? You must want baby Billy out of here. I thought you were going to get right in there. I was like, we're going to get baby Billy. Well, why do you do it baby Billy? Cause I want to burn everybody at an affordable cost. Yeah. You can get your second cremation and 50 bucks a pop. 50 bucks a pop. This is the second bucket of cremation. She's not going to buy it with cremation. 50 bucks a pop. I don't know if you know that guy. It's 50 bucks a pop. Yeah. But it says, uh, the body was laying feist face down in front of the business with the casket nearby. She didn't even taste it up. I told you she just wanted the box. Yeah. When officers arrived, they discovered the body laying in the landscape rocks. Listen, what kind of funeral home now? This is what they put out. Let's flashback to last week. Yeah. What if Patty Mannese, or whatever her name is, was just trying to fridge scape the funeral? Oh, I like what you're doing. We're going to empty things out of the original container. Right. We're going to put it out. Yeah. We're going to take the labels off. Find it as you do. Make it pretty. Yeah. I just found out that this was October 30th and she was just putting out decorations for Halloween. I didn't know there was a dude that says the officers also saw an open door and broken glass on one side. Okay. Put it on the page, Jerry. Oh, let's play bookmark. I like it. I like it. Okay. Let me show you something. That's her. She's not going to any main stage. No. Ever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Very much. Okay. Welcome to the parking lot, everybody. Patty, Sierra. No, validating. No, no, no. That's a Yukon Denali. We're talking about Patty. Sierra. Yeah. That's not a Denali. Trust me, there is nothing Denali. There's no. No. She is in Denali. I'm going to be honest with you. There is leather. It's on her face. Okay. It's got leather. That's all. So it says the investigation also unveiled several other clues, including flower petals leading to the door. She left a trail of petals. Yeah. No one will find this. And a small kid's bike on the side of the building. How does that come into play at all? Yeah. How is that a clue? How is that a clue? I think there was a child involved in this. She's got an accomplice. I bet it was a compact car. Or a very little man. Chevy Ave. You know, it's like, what? Well, she was carrying it on her bike. That's why she had to dump the body out. It's too heavy. That's what it has to make separate tricks. Yeah. Look, I can put the box on the handlebars. I can't put the body. Yeah. Now, if this body wasn't dead, these pegs are worthless. I was going to say, yeah. We would have had spoke. We didn't need these pegs. Yeah. We didn't need them. But says the manager of the business, provide the police with the surveillance video, which showed a woman get this between 30 and 50 years old with the buzz cut. Your window. Okay. Now, when you look at this window, I looked at it. I think she's 50 to 70. I think they really low baller. But the fact that they gave it a 20 year window after looking at her picture, you'll be like, yeah, all right. I get it. You're playing it. You're playing it safe. You're playing it pretty much on the nose. Chef's kiss. I think you nailed this one. Is it a really rough 30 or still an equally rough 50? But it says it says, yeah, either lived a terrible life or looks great for 150. Okay. We don't know. We really don't know. Okay. So anyway, it says 50 years old with a buzz cut, wearing a black tank top, black leggings and black sneakers. Okay. Real metal. Yeah. Sounds great. Yeah. Yeah. She's you have a chicken. Yeah. She's a skinny version. Yeah. She's a Lamborghini. Crip keeper. She's the Lamborghini Lambo crypt. That's what she is. But it says in the video, the woman is seen entering the business, breaking the front window, reaching inside, unlocking the door. That seems pretty easy, right? She walked into the viewing room, went to the casket and took it out the front door. She was seen making multiple trips in and out of the business before leaving the property two days later. That's when she was found at the party. They called and said description of the woman. So this lady is at a party and they go, look, we got a woman here that looks between 20 and 50. Can you describe her? She looks like she's been alive at some point. Yeah. Yeah. Real rough. Yeah. Possibly dances in a parking lot. Yeah. She validates. She validated my parking. I don't know what it is. Looks like has been Simonized more than once. She's a bowtie between her eyeballs. Yeah. Is she a Chevy? Like a rock. You know what it is? So, but it says basically for some reason brought a child's bike to the party and just leaned it against the fixture. So it says that's our cow. She identified herself as Sierra. So she's now she's sharing herself. She's just one name? Yeah. Yeah. See, I'm like the share of the Crip Keepers. Okay. That's just what I do. But it says she identifies the same person in the surveillance video, according to the rest report. You can't mess that up. There's nobody else walking around. Yeah. That looks like her. Right. If you went to the next viewing room and opened the casket and said, does it look like this? Yeah. It does. She looks just like that. That's why it took them two days. They were like, um, so either a corpse came back to life. Yeah. And a woman found out her ex boyfriend has a lot of money. Right. Now she's desperate. She loves them. Any advice? She loves them. Any advice on this one? So it says she allegedly has a substance abuse problem and blacks out. No. No. Yeah. She also did not remember breaking into the funeral home. Oh, I don't even remember. You can't get me up for that. I don't remember doing it. Yeah. That's is that the number one thing that you can get people you just like, I didn't do that. I didn't. I don't remember it. The name of this box. Yeah. Right. I rented this house in the boxes in it. I remember walking in to get the box. The box was empty. Yeah. Because the guy was already laying in the rocks. There wasn't even a dude in it. That guy was laying in the rocks. When I found it. Did you find the dude in the rocks? Maybe he did it. Yeah. He kind of smells like the box. How do you know about the dudes in the rocks? Oh, I was riding my bike down there. Yeah. I was on a bike. Was it a kids bike? A little bike? Do you know what I'm going to do? So it's, it's said then detectives then ask, oh, I'll get this. But when asked if she'd ever burglarized the business before, she allegedly said, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Who hasn't? I'm Patty Sierra. Look at my face. Look at this face. Yeah. You don't think this, this is a mug shot face. I think we're both the same time. Look at this face. Yeah. Come on. This face screams criminal. Or 30 to 50. Yeah. I don't know. I don't. It screams. This thing screams. It didn't discriminate. It screams something. Okay. Apparently larceny. Okay. That's what it screams. So it says detectives then ask, what's her preferred method for breaking into property? And Sierra allegedly said, it was to use a rock and break a window. Oh, we're putting two and two together. Yeah. Okay. We're putting two and two together. You know who she called the boys from that checks out. Yeah. You know who didn't throw the rock through the window? The guy laying in the rocks. Okay. He didn't do it. So it says, then she allegedly apologized and claimed she was not trying to be malicious. Though at that point, the police asked her why she apologized and she's innocent. She said, after being shown in surveillance video, she allegedly, allegedly acknowledged it. Oh, yeah. You know what? I might have done that. You know what? Maybe my bad. I don't know. Yeah. You know what? I'm just going to blanket apology here. I'm sorry for you. Have to call me down here. Yeah. I'm sorry for you believing that this face committed this crime, you know. But it says she could not remember why she burglarized the business. She also said she blacked out that night. Okay. Here's where I called. I'm going to call bullshit massively. She also said she blacked out that night after drinking six beers. If you have a problem, you don't black out after six beers, six beers. You even warm. Were they measured in kegs? I was going to say. Yeah. Were they, were they tapped? Let me drink. Welcome to parole. Yeah. Patty Sierra. You're tucking a buck in the ankle bracelet. She's like, I don't know if this is, is this, is this right? Is this sexy? No, what are we doing? What are we doing? Is this, but if I break the contact from your leg to the bracelet, are there going to be cops here? Because I'm not supposed to be here either. My wife thinks that I am golfing. Okay. I don't understand this. But it says she could have been born yesterday or built with this stage this year. Right. She might have known Jesus. We don't know. She's been here a while. So, but it says court record show. Her bail was set at $11,000. That seems like a weird amount. Yeah. That's a lot of, that's, that's a lot of dances or rockstone into windows. What do you have in front of everyone said at 11,000 between 11,000 and $31,000? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Your bail. Much like your face. It's somewhere in the 20,000. I am so angry about trying to figure out how old you are. Your bail. I was going to let you go. Okay. I've decided your bail is just going to be just as if you're raising as your, as you're raising. Right. And I'm going to give you the number is it in days, is it weeks, is it months, is it in years? You don't know. Just like I don't know how old you are. Okay. So I have nightmares about you. It might seem like an eternity or it might seem like the last four minutes of your life. I don't know your times, man. You really don't know. We really don't know. Yeah. That's so great. And then she throws a brick like I was blacked out. I really have no idea, you know, we're sick of the judge's chair to tips them out. This is a thing. I don't remember this. I don't know. Why are we in here? What are you doing in my chair? I don't remember getting you. I got to get to a party. See my child. My bike. Where's my, it's in the basement of the Alamo. That's where your bike is. All right. But, but no, what's weird is they finally come out at the end, they go 47 year old. So they guessed they actually did her a solid. Yeah. They said between 30 and 50, which they were right, but they were, they gave away too much of a span. You know what that is? That's somebody going, look, we don't want to get sued. Okay. We know this project. Old. Okay. She's old. Yeah. So what we're going to do. Something between my sister and grandma. Right. 47, I went 47 in the pool with, I had the over on 50. I had the old women whose age, a woman whose age is in determinants. Yeah. That's pretty crazy. So you imagine though, so say years from now, she's at a crime, someone, someone officer, they find her body. They look at it and they're like, how old was she? Okay. Well, it, what, what was it? Was this recently? Yeah. This was in the last, yeah, this was in 23, I think, in 23. She was 47. Yeah. Yeah. If anyone wants to do the math grade, otherwise she did. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I know she's not between 30 and 50. You know what, you know what would be a fitting way to send her out? Let's just throw her in the landscape rocks out front. You know what's great though? Maybe just drop a bike right in her ass. You do that and then her tombstone, her headstone reads, question mark to question mark. Yeah. Even the fan was like, I don't, I don't, she was my mom. I don't know. She's old enough to have a kid. So between 16. Yeah. And 160? I don't know. Her tombstone says a built in Mexico assembled in the United States. Right. Yeah. Yeah. That's a car joke. Yeah. And I don't remember. I don't remember. I don't remember putting this together. Yeah. I don't remember. She's got like six recalls. Yeah. They're like, okay, listen, you're going to pull to the left. You're going to need a alignment. Yeah. So when I saw the name Sierra, I'm like, that just looks like a pickup truck. That's all it is. Imagine if she was like a, like, like an RS model, it's like, wow, you know, she's definitely not the finale. Yeah. But there is a leather on the face. Yeah. She's more of a sea later. Yeah. How many letters are in that? Enough. Enough. Sierra. Oh, that's like short for sea later? Because no thanks. Yeah. Her check engine lights. Flashing. So but anyway, yeah, they read her Miranda rights. They found out she was 47 years old. And that's what she told us. Yeah. She was bored. That wrench lit up on the day. The kids like got a weird birthmark and lights up. I don't know what it is. What's it look like? Looks like a wrench. Looks like a wrench. It's dude. You might want to check their feet because I got exclamation points. I think that's for tire pressure. I really not sure what's going on here. She's a thick woman. This woman. This woman is really, yeah. She's a thick woman. All right. So anyway, what have we learned today? Okay. Oh, what haven't we learned? What have we learned? First off, do dads can be both male and female. Yeah. Okay. So bookmarks. We learned. Yeah. We learned if you had eaten, you're getting a beaten or just hold my page. Yeah. Yeah. If you're disgruntled wife, ask you to hold her page. Yeah. Don't. I have learned that I'm going to go home and try to get my wife to wear that afghan. I've been trying to get her to wear it. I'll be like, who's laughing now, you know? And then I guess lastly, Tennessee, Mississippi, it's a mother. So I mean, we've written in reality, we've got a full circle here. We've got a lady who died in a relationship. Yes. Use the PDF. Did you just, did you even see the PDF stop trying to change the account where all the tickets reside? I got all the tickets now. I got them everywhere. You know what's weird is everybody's going to have to scan in on your phone. And you're going to be the only guy that can't talk to anybody that, that would have been awesome. Everybody had to scan in on touch. We can't see them before the ceremony. It's a surprise. Regulations. Where can they find his dad? He went as that checks out, that's it, all the socials and checks out. Come on down here. Get your mic muted by audio, hi, podcasting, video, Ryan on sound, Jerry on visuals. Good at it. This episode is the next executively produced by Damon Rocky and Ted Wilson. Hey, those are the two guys in that checks out with Damon and Ted. Don't forget. I like that one. Maybe that's where the main angry birds. Maybe that's where the main angry birds. Yeah. [music] [MUSIC PLAYING]