Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce you to today's guest, Linda Hayles. She is a firestarter and you can't help but be ignited by her passion. Her website is www.riseanddisrupt.com and I am in love with that! You can also find her @ https://www.instagram.com/lindahayles/?hl=en
Emotionally Unavailable
Episode 67: Gas
I did not know that I would open up my mouth and people would listen. I don't believe in myself.com. That will not be the last time that it said on this podcast. (upbeat music) - Welcome to Emotionally Unavailable, the podcast where we dive deep into the world of emotional availability and intimacy. I'm your host, Melissa Hepner, and I can't tell you how excited I am to have you join me on this journey of self-discovery and connection. Whether you're navigating the complexities of relationships or exploring your own emotional landscape, this podcast is here to inspire, empower, and entertain. So get cozy and let's explore the depths of human emotions together. - Hi everybody, today's episode is with the fabulous Linda Hales. This is off of her bio and it says every woman needs a coach in life, those that have great coaches outperform those that don't three to 10 times and out earn those that don't three to 10 times. In the world of high-level female coaches, Linda Hales is the go-to high-performance coach for driven women who want to dominate in business and life. With her deep mastery in sales coaching, Linda has helped women worldwide to significantly increase their sales, which have resulted in an added six to seven figures in cash to their bank accounts. However, Linda's work goes beyond just making money. Armed with a degree in psychology and human behavior, she guides her clients through the process of self-transformation. She takes her clients on a journey to transform into the epitome of the extraordinary, the woman who is limitless and achieves what others think is impossible. Her clients become mental and emotional athletes, mastering their mindset and EQ, emotional quotient for success. Linda's own story is one of overcoming challenges, a true champion. She went from being a divorced single mom on public assistance with nothing more than a GED at that time to launching her business, defying all the odds and manifesting her impossible. Seven figure dreams into reality. Her story is inspiring, showing that with determination, anyone can reach their limitless and great potential. So she is very fiery, very fast, very cool. She knows her stuff. So I'm excited for this. This is excellent for women and particularly women of color to hear. And I'm so excited to see the impact that this one makes. So here you go. This is me and Linda. And I hope that you enjoy and I will make sure I'm gonna repeat the website right now, www.riseanddisrupt.com. Crap, you'll hear it in the episode. So I love that. Let's disrupt, let's go out there and make shit happen. Here you go. Here's Linda. (electronic music) Okay, you look gorgeous, by the way. I am loving the shirts. (both laughing) It's such a pretty color. It looks great. I was like, you know what? I'm gonna be like, money green, you know? You know, it's money money day, you know. Oh, I love that money Monday. Let's manifest that right now, money Monday. Money, that just needs to be your whole life. You need to be asking that every day. I mean, I've been learning like different forms of manifestation and I'm like, trying to incorporate every, what's in it right now? So I will, I always do like the official formal about you stuff in like the intro so that we can kind of just get right down to the heart and then we'll just get to talk it. Exactly. So tell me like, okay, I got it. I'm an energy person. So I'm gonna tell you that like, even from our Instagram speaking, like I have you pegged as a fire sign, first of all, are you a Leo areas or Sagittarius? No, I'm a Libra. A Libra? Well, happy Libra season. It's your birthday coming soon. In October? Yeah, man. I'm excited. Okay, cool. So you're just about us. Okay, cool. So here's what I get. I get a lot of action off of you. Like very quick moving. You're like making moves, making shit happen. And I know from this entrepreneurship, the same as you, like it takes that. And so I kind of wonder what work you feel like was the most important that you did on yourself to ever get in this situation where you're like, yeah, I am a badass and I'm gonna take what I want. Okay, so you already know this 'cause you're in the psychology space. You're in the coach, you know, therapy. Yeah, yeah. Since I was a kid, I'm an only child. So since I was a kid, I've been a, what? No, I'm gonna do that. And I've always, and I grew up with super religious parents. And I've always been a very logical question, everything, since I was a child. But when I was a child, I was told, hey, that's a sin. You're not supposed to ask that. And I'm like, why would that be a sin? God made me in his image so that he must be a real inquisitive motherfucker because I'm always asking fucking questions. And I was made in his image. How are you telling me that it's a sin? You're just telling me he put all these questions in my brain for no fucking reason. Right, so then my father would be like, I wish you were a boy. I would beat your ass, you know? And so like all the things that women have heard, 'cause I'm Puerto Rican, but I think every woman has heard, be quiet, don't, you know, stir the waters. Like that's, if you go against the status quo, if you question too much, then you are questioning authority. That's disrespectful. And if that's disrespectful, then you must be aggressive. And if you must be aggressive, then you must be a problem starter. And if you're a problem starter, then you're gonna be nothing but a piece of shit in life 'cause nobody wants a woman who's a problem starter. - Yeah. - And I was told you're not keeping the peace. - Right, I was told all of that. And so I've always been a rebel. Before I knew what the word rebel was, I was like, fuck that, no. Even my parents were married until my father died of cancer. But at 14, 13 or 14, I realized that my, my mom was in a really toxic marriage. She had children before she met my dad, and my dad never wanted those kids to come over. She didn't raise her other four children. I grew up alone. So I would tell my mom, 'cause a teenager, even though I didn't really know-- - Yeah, you didn't get it. - Yeah, I didn't know what being a mom was. Somehow I knew that a fucking man that tells you that you can't have your children is not right. - Right. - Well, I would tell my mom, why don't you divorce dad? Now, he's my real dad. This is not like my stepdad. - Yeah. - And my mom would say, you don't understand because I didn't. You know, my mom today, she's my mom's 80. So it's a very big gap in that, you know, my mom is from a place where I just recently told my mom, "Mom, have you ever heard that you're worthy?" You know, and she was like, "No, I'm like mom." Like you don't have to manipulate and tell a whole fucking story to get what you want. Just ask for what you want. I'm gonna give it to you. But she doesn't come from that. You know, so-- - That's for you. - I don't know if I answered your question. But I-- - Oh, you did. I'm just vibing with you so hard right now because yeah, well, because I hear you, I hear too that you do hold space for the fact that your mom did her best and that it was a different time and whatever. But yeah, it's fucked up. That was a really fucked up thing. And yeah, I love this. I love, because I heard this saying one time, it's a very popular saying, but I remember the first time I heard it, I was like, "Look," when it said, "Am I intimidating or are you intimidated?" 'Cause that's different. You know what I mean? And it's like, if I'm intimidating, you probably wanna go take a look. 'Cause like, we're nice people, right? But people are intimidated. So why, why are you intimidated? - I'm gonna go a step further and say that the average person is actually not intimidated. What they are is insecure and your vastness, your greatness, your too muchness stirs their insecurity and makes them feel small, which some people would not say that when I feel that way, I'm intimidated. - Right. - They just feel like, "Oh, your light is so great." I am dimmed. But no, bitch, there's enough sun to light the whole goddamn light. - I'm in here and we're brighter together like, "Come join the light, man." Like it's so much easier for lots of lights to combine to create a lot of sunshine. But like, when you're trying to break through cloud cover and all of the other things to shine, boy, that can be really tricky. And I think that's what you and I both had to, well, and all the people that we get to have these kinds of conversations with, but that's the flight is to say, okay, well, I guess we're not gonna fly together 'cause that's just not gonna work. And understand that them not being brave enough to fly with you does not mean that you need to clip your weeds, like drop them in the nest and go. We don't need to be all that. So yeah, I think you're exactly right. And I think that, you know, I just, when I was doing a lot of healing on my own, I really looked at, what am I so fucking afraid of? You know, and for me, it was just all those old, I'm afraid of abandonment. I'm afraid of rejection, I'm afraid of loss, I'm afraid of abuse, I'm afraid of neglect, and I'm afraid of rejection. And but once I understood that, it was like, okay, I can release that now, I can go on, but it has to, there has to come a time where you really face yourself and be like, where am I limiting my potential here? Because when I look at someone else, I believe that I don't have the capacity that they do to make my dreams come true. Well, that's not true. So I guess I need to get my shit together, you know? Why this field, what made you choose what you're doing? I've always, even before the word coach was the thing, I've always been into helping other people like at 31, I won like free cards and Mary Kay cosmetics, but it wasn't because I was selling so much makeup, it was because I didn't even know that I had leadership inside of me when I joined Mary Kay at 31. I did not know that I would open up my mouth and people would listen. So people have always said, and it has always pissed me off 'cause I didn't understand what people said, "I love your energy." And I'm like, "What the fuck is that?" - Yeah. - You know, and it's like, this is not energy, like I'm giving my life, this is my passion. - Yeah, yeah. - I get it now when people are like, "I love your energy." And what that means is, oh man, I fucking, I really want that. - Yeah. - So I understood early-- - Early to be around, yeah. - Why, even if it was subconscious, people wanna be like me and it's not because they envy me or they are jealous. It's because they're like, "How the hell can we be like that?" Like, "I love it." So that made me go, "Oh, okay." And I was married in a very toxic marriage and he was like, "He saw it." He saw that potential, amazing. - Oh, yeah. - And he was like, "Oh, no, I gotta stop that shit." - Gotta get an answers, yeah. - Yeah, so then in my late 30s, when I started my, I knew that my divorce was imminent in 2008, I started going to school, I wanted a degree in psychology 'cause I thought I wanted to be a therapist. - Yeah. - And when I started my master's, my clinical, master's in clinical psych, I had to sit a semester, like doing an internship with a psychologist. - Yeah, yeah. - And there was a lady after a lady left, I asked the psychologist, I said, "How long has this woman been coming yet?" Because she sounds like a fucking basket case. Like I said, "Can you not tell her that she's the fucking problem?" And he was like, "Well, we can't do that, you know, because the APA and all this shit." And I recall then it was 2012, I still didn't know that I was gonna be who I am right now. - Yeah, yeah, you were developing too. - But I spoke it, I said, "I don't wanna do therapy. I only wanna work with people that come to me and say, "Linda, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing or what I need to stop doing, but or start doing, but I need you." And literally, literally the amount of inbox messages that I get where people say verbatim, "Linda, I don't know what I'm doing or what I'm not doing, but I need you." - Yeah, I believe that, so hardcore. And I totally know what you mean because I did a practicum forever ago when I got my master's. And then I have been touched the therapy space since then because I like you was already seeing the monotony of the same person for years to come. And I was like, "This doesn't feel effective. Like I can't be effective in that space." So I didn't touch it for a lot of years. And then I watched that documentary that Jonah Hill had with his therapist. And I was like, "Okay, I can get down with a therapeutic relationship like this where I'm 100% authentic." And so, you know, I push the boundaries of that, but I tell every client like, "Hey, I'm not gonna be like anyone else you've ever met because I'm gonna talk to you the same way I do people on my podcast. I'm gonna talk to people. I'm gonna talk to you the way I talk to my kids, my spouse, my friends. It's not gonna be any different. That means they get all the cuss words, they get everything just like I would say to you or to my friends because I have to be who the fuck I am in any situation where I'm not giving them my gifts. Like that's where the gift is is like, you letting things flow out of my mouth but I didn't know we're gonna come, you know? But I kind of, I don't happen to think that talk therapy in the traditional sense is all that effective. I love that there is a space for people because I don't view anyone that's coaching as any different than me. Like we're doing the same shit. I just had a path that I wanted to do this. So I got that education and then was like, oop, I also went through a divorce during that time. So I was like, man, I'm gonna have to just focus on, you know, supporting myself. And then throughout time, I've kind of come back to this but I'm only able to be effective the way I am because I'm using my own life force behind every word that's spoken in the same exact way you are. And we are a light and people are attracted to our light but sometimes the wrong people get attracted because they're like, oh, it's so scary to think about even attempting to do the shit you're doing. So I'm gonna try to tear you down. - Oh, well, that's what, so that was one of the biggest, what are the biggest, it, I'm not gonna say issues but for lack of a better phrase for right now. It's one of the biggest issues that I had when I went into this because as women were taught and we're not even taught, we are just like naturally nurturers, right? And what we're taught and I grew up in church. So like, you have a gift, give it away. You know, but that's not true or as Hispanic women, a lot, women of color, we are taught. Hey, go be somebody so you can give back. - Yeah. - Give back to the community. And I'm like, I didn't take anything. - Existed, bro. - I didn't take anything. Why do I have to give back? Like that makes me so angry that women feel like they have to give back. So I'm not giving anyone, which is why I said self. I'm not being a therapist because I don't want to deal with people, for example, it's just not my calling. It's not my lane. It's not that I look down on those people. It's that that's not my strength, right? So my strength is not to go to the homeless shelter and speak to those women because those women need to see a Hispanic woman who made it. Those women need to know that you can be a single mom and have your own business. But right now, right here and now, they are in survival mode. - That's exactly right. - People who are in survival mode can't take action with what they're hearing. - No, that's exactly what I was thinking was like, they can't take in what you say. They can't hear you. They're just thinking. - So the people that are attracted to therapy are people who are probably being told by their friends. Yo, have you ever gone to therapy because girl, you keep talking about this, like, or maybe think of divorce and their own kids who are adults now are like, mom, you have so much trauma, dad, like you need to go speak to someone. So at that point, somebody goes to therapy for the first time, then that person is having all of this confronting like, what? That type of person who hasn't even come, who hasn't even stepped into the pool of personal development, who has not taken radical responsibility and ownership for where they are in their life, it's not my ideal client. They have to go to therapy too. - Right. - If I can put that person in the deep depression. - I love you for knowing that about yourself. That's great though, because you know what? None of us should step outside of what our capacity is. We should, you know, even I, for a second, when trying to define my target audience and whatever in my own mind. I was like, I'm not, you know, anyone. And I'm like, no, 'cause the truth is, I'm not for everyone, I'm not. And I could never be-- - No one would ever want to be, you know? Like that would take so much limitations of self to try to fit into anything. I have a particular brand and I work with, I mean, they're all different kinds, but I find that most of us have the same similar narratives floating around up there. But yeah, I think people go to therapy for a lot of different stuff. And I'm glad that there's like a reduction of stigma for people who need that. But yeah, back to your point about women of color, that this is actually a new thought. Like I hadn't heard that the servitude is impressed upon you guys, like even harder if you grew up in these communities, but it makes sense to me. - So let me share this with you. About a year and a half ago, I live in Houston. And so a year and a half ago, I went out to Google and I was like, literally, I put this in Google. Powerful female entrepreneurs in Houston. That's all I put. And whatever Google assigns to powerful was social worker this and nonprofit lady this and every single powerful woman of color, I actually was looking for powerful women of color in Houston, powerful entrepreneurs. And it was like the head of Head Start, the this other organization. And then I went to their LinkedIn and I know that these women are not making money. And it broke my heart that so many women of color are taught. Hey, you're gonna make it. But when you make it, you have to come back and save all these people, everybody. - Yeah, you're only responsible for you and anyone you put on this earth and only them to a certain point. - And then the mindset of specifically the women in social work and therapy is like very in kind. - No, I have to, like it's so difficult for me to actually coach therapists. - Yeah. - I'm like, you can do therapy and you can have a five figure coaching program that creates figures for you. - Oh my God, no, I can't touch for that. (laughs) - Oh my God, I know. Yes, people think that making money makes them like sinful and I'm like, oh, they call me a scinner bitch 'cause here's the deal. I already fucking know what I'm worth. And that's why I'm actually keeping the therapy portion of what I do very small 'cause I'm trying to make the other things a lot bigger. But I kind of got that feeling from a few little, and I was like, you can take that wherever. If you want to limit your earning potential, that's fine, but nothing in my world says that my skillset can't earn me a fuck ton of money because it can, it's going to, I'm worthy, I'm deserving, I'm doing everything inside and outside that needs to be done to move into that space. And it's all up to us, right? Like, who says, but you're exactly right. People have this idea and sometimes I have people on the podcast that will even say it and it's like nails on the chalkboard. Yeah, because it's not all about money. Okay, you know what-- - It's not about money. - You can say it's not all about money, but here's what I know. I see a lot of people working in education and bless their hearts 'cause they want to make a difference, right? But education calls to the codependent. So they go enter into a very familiar dynamic of servitude to my own demise, don't make shit for money. My bosses will capitalize on the fact that I will work for free because I don't have boundaries. And I'm like, man, guys, it doesn't have to be like this. Like just go heal so you can go make some money because it don't have to be a bad person to make money. - Every business owner, I think that every woman in business today has to have a personal brand. It's just gonna be impossible for you to stand out in the crowded noisy marketplace if you blend in and you don't have a like a honed in bat signal-- - Money age, right. - So part of my marketing message is my own experience. I, my business exists to empower women with a lot of money because women with socioeconomic power can literally change the game. They can give however much money to this cost to make presidential candidate to them. Like then we can literally change our communities but that big dream that you have of impacting the world that God gave you, these dreams that I have a big calling and it's gonna touch millions of lives, it requires money, honey. And you know, some people want a lot of money so they can save the whales and they can do all of that. What is it called? Oh my God, there's a particular word it doesn't come to mind right now. Like when you're just doing all these altruistic things. - Yeah, yeah. - Like I'm not against that. I'm not against you getting a lot of money and doing all the altruistic things. And also, I want you to have a private jet. I want you to live in a freaking private community. I want you to drive a fucking Bentley. I want you to dress in Chanel. I want you to buy the Gucci bag. I want you to never say to your kids, we're going in this store, don't ask for anything. - Yeah. - What in the world? I'm tired of women surviving. - Go throw on you, honey, live your best life, shit. - I come from a culture that still teaches women, I'm Puerto Rican, that you're gonna marry a man and he's gonna take care of you. Like I'm not against men. I'm just against women not taking ownership for their existence in the world. My mom is 80. She had a beauty salon. She never knew how to save money or invest. And if I didn't make the kind of money that I make, I don't know what would be of her. - Yeah. - I don't know, like I do not want to turn 80 and be living off the mercy of the government or my kids. - Right. - And there, my culture expects their children to take care of them, but they didn't concern themselves with making sure, if I'm gonna expect my daughter to take care of me, let me make sure she's a damn astronaut. Let me make sure she's a damn doctor. Let me make sure that she's successful as hell. No, when I was 16, I got married. So they forced me to get married at 16 because what is the church gonna say? That you're fucked up parents because you are. - Yeah. - You know? - Yeah. - 'Cause they were always like, "We raised you in church." That's not enough. If you're watching this right now and you're like, I don't really talk to my children because you need to not just talk to them. You need to like, and I'm not saying you have to be their friend because I also come from a culture that's like, you can't be your kids' friends. All my, I am my kids' friends. My kids tell me even the things that I don't want to hear 'cause they're all adults now. - Yeah. - You know, like they tell me the stuff that I'm like, I don't really want to know what you did on that date with that girl. You know? - Yeah. - I'm gonna tell you all the people. - Thank you. Yes. - I love that same relationship because you know what I learned? We really don't get a lot of control. So why not just give them the skills to make these choices? Like I can continue to tell you what a piece of shit you are for making really human mistakes or I can go not my job and just love the fucking shit out of you and help support you in the decisions that you're gonna make regardless. - Right. So I'm here for, if you're watching this and you're like, it's not about the money. When people are like, money is not everything. Try doing anything without it. I mean, like, oh, money doesn't buy anything. Well, I don't know what poverty buys. - Yeah, 'cause let me tell you the money I'm wanting, it buys shit. It really do. - It buys shit. Now, 'cause you know, people like to be very black and white thinking, people are like, the money's not happiness. Obviously it is not. Therefore millionaires continue to commit suicide. Money does, obviously money cannot make you happy. God forgive me what I'm about to say, 'cause I had a friend that was insane. You know, I'm crazy, so I attract crazy friends. My friend used to say, you know what? Sometimes it's difficult for me to pay my Mercedes, but I make the payment because you know what? If I'm gonna be depressed, I'd rather be depressed on these leather seats. - Well, and I do a lot of work too, like, if you do come from any sort of poverty, the cycles that you have to break are a lot of self-sabotage. And you have to, if you wanna be a person who knows what the fuck to do with your money, you gotta work on that shit too, so that you're not afraid to succeed because then you might just do dumb shit with your money like you used to or what, you know what I mean? Like I just kept being like, I gotta prepare myself to be a space that's trusting with money because I did do a lot of self-sabotaging behaviors with money and so it's been kind of nice to like, leave a job, do freelance, start from the bottom because you are forced then to pay attention to your checking account and all of that stuff. But that goes along with it. Like what are you doing with the money that you have right now because whatever it is, that's probably contributing to the narratives that tell you money can't buy happiness because I'm not trying to sell happiness with money. I'm saying, if you pursue yourself, your purpose, your passion, and you are in alignment with all of those things and you are your most authentic self, there's no fucking way to not be uber successful, however you define that. Now for people like us, we do define that a little higher. You know, like I'm shooting for the stars, but I'm okay if people like don't understand that level of success 'cause they've never been that close to it, but don't count yourself out over some perceived immorality with making lots of money. - Right, so when you ask me like, what's the work that you've done? Like I believe that every woman needs a coach. Specifically women who are already the first in their families, you know, to do anything, the first to have degree, the first to go to college, the first to move out of that neighborhood, the first to buy a house, the first to be a single mom who is not living off of the government, the first to have good credit, the first to make the kind of money that she makes, right? All of these, I work with almost all my clients are the first, they are first generation, everything's in their family, right? And so that woman is winning compared to everyone in her life, in her family, in her upbringing. So that woman gets to a place, it's like she doesn't even realize where she's very uncomfortable, she doesn't understand why, she's like, I know, you know, in her family's like, you're doing so good and she's usually the one that everyone calls to solve problems. She's overwhelmed actually, but she doesn't look like it 'cause she's got a great job and a nice car and she's got her own house, right? And that woman knows that I'm doing better than most people in my life, but compared to the people that I admire, I'm not even here. Like there's so much wealth for me to go and I don't know, if I admit that to my mom, she's gonna be like, why do you want so much? - Yes, you're selfish. - Yeah, you're selfish, like you already have a degree and you already have a great firm, like she's a lawyer. I work with women that make multiple six figures to a million and these women don't know where to go, I'm not even therapy to say, I'm not just drinking a glass of wine every day, I'm drinking a whole bottle of wine every night, but no one knows that and she doesn't think that she's an alcoholic for doing that, okay? I work with women that make a lot of money and been sleeping with a married man for seven years. - Yeah. - And then eight months into our work, she's ditched a guy and she has her first million dollar year, she was stuck at 600,000. I work with women that are in their fifties and they have a grown ass son living with his wife and their three children in their house, they don't charge him any money. She's upset because I was enjoying life with my husband and now I'm just like babysitting grandkids, like what am I doing? Okay, what is, what are you and your husband avoiding in your marriage that you decided to sabotage, you decided to bring your adult son with a whole family living under your roof, now you guys are feeling stressed out financially 'cause you're not charging him any money. Like these are real life issues, like grown people who make six figures for living, but they have children that are underperforming as adults and they feel extreme guilt. So they're going into debt, $87,000 in credit card debt, taking care of adult kids 'cause they have severe guilt. I did something wrong, that's why my kids are underperforming. So I work with that, they're high-level people already doing great. And they have the same problems that somebody would have in a homeless shelter, but their mindset is a very different. - Very. - Yes, human behavior is human behavior. - Exactly, exactly, we're not any different. - Right. - You know about what we're putting in here, yep, you're exactly fucking right. - But somebody who has a degree, somebody who has a million dollar firm, that person has grit, that person has discipline to stick with something until it works, that person has already behaviors and patterns of thinking that will help them get results with coaching. - Right. - They don't have to be convinced. - Yeah, they just look like I do, yeah. Absolutely, I love that. And I love that you know exactly what you wanna say, and you know your voice and you know your market, you know exactly what lane you wanna be in. I love that, very, very determined, obviously. I think that's great. And I think this is just as impactful for all women and all women of color than to sacrifice your desires from what you want in this life to help people. I help people all the fucking time. And I'm not gonna do it for free. You know, I'm not going to because that's just not, I'm just not going to, so I'm sorry. You know, like it doesn't work for you. There are lots of people who do. - Everyone needs help, and everyone needs help at every level. I'm not against, I'm not even against the people that do free work. I'm not against the church providing group therapy and free things. I'm not against that. I'm not, right? Because if you have that and you wanna monetize that, I can still help you monetize it. Even if you're charging a little bit of money, you're gonna have to develop a big email list. We're gonna have to put money into building your email, right? We, people that are not making money as entrepreneurs don't have a money problem. They have a leads problem and an offers problem. Like what kind of offer can I sell to the people that are already here? And how can I get more people? - Right. - But, you know, if yourself is what you're selling, and you're not fully sure of yourself, how many people are you gonna put yourself in front of? - Yeah, no, well, see, that's not my ideal client. So I can't even speak to that. - You're like, couldn't be me. Have no idea. - I can't relate. - I can't relate. - I don't have any advice for that. - This is the show you say to you too. I don't believe in myself.com and see if they have somebody for you. I don't know. (laughing) - That might be the best shit I've ever heard. I don't believe in myself.com. That will not be the last time that is said on this podcast. I will make sure of it. No, I think that's great. I think you're exactly right. If you wanna be successful at anything you do, this attitude is exactly what you need. You set your goal and you fucking go for it, period. And it sounds so easy, but I do know that the mindset stuff can be difficult if you're carrying around a lifetime of narratives that don't serve you anymore. But you know, you gotta make a choice. You wanna lay them down? You wanna pick them up. What do you want? - It is not easy to achieve the impossible. And the reason I say the impossible is because it's impossible to you, otherwise you would already have done it. So up until now, like I'm 51, I'm gonna be 52 next month. So my entire life, I wanted to achieve things that I hadn't. So it was impossible for me. I remember in 2009, I made a goal poster and I put it in my bedroom and I was like, I'm gonna write a book. And it was so far fetched. Like, how can I write a book? Right, I was like, how can I write a book? In 2009, I was still a stay-at-home wife in a very abusive marriage. And I watched Gary Vaynerchuk speak. I didn't know who he was and I did not know that what he had just spoken was called the TED Talk. So after I looked at the YouTube description and I was like, what the hell is a TED Talk? So I Googled it. And I was like, wow, no, I was a stay-at-home wife in a very abusive marriage. And I saw that the byline for TED Access ideas worth sharing. And I was like, what idea would I have that's worth sharing? Who would listen to me? I remember the dream of doing a TED Talk was birth in 2009 when I watched Gary Vaynerchuk's talk. And then like, I immediately was like, how could I ever speak on a stage like that? How, who would listen to me? I don't have an idea worth sharing. I'm not into technology. I'm not an entrepreneur. I don't have anything major to share with the world. And then in 2018, I landed it in 2017. I landed a TED Talk and it was in the Cayman Islands. And I went all the way to the Cayman Islands to deliver a talk called Change to Destination. And it was about my life. And afterwards, there were people from the news stations and the Cayman Islands ready to interview me. I had collaborations with Olympic medalists that were there who were also speaking on that stage. It's very hard for you to achieve your dreams. You're correct, it is very hard. This is why I believe that every woman needs a coach. If you wanna achieve anything great in life, you're gonna need someone who has already been there to guide you because this is where you get to compress time. Like I was 40 in my 40s when I discovered a coach. So I lived my entire life. I'm not saying I lived for 10 years dreaming about this shit. I dreamt my entire life of living the life that I do today. And then when I hired a coach, I remember I paid her all the money that was in my bank account and I still had three more payments of $2,500. - Oh my God. - I made $57,000 in my coaching business in 90 days. I had never made $57,000 a year in a fucking job. - Yeah. - So I was able to compress time. If you wanna go fast and you wanna avoid all of the pitfalls and the failure and whatever, you hire somebody who has been where you wanna go. - Right. - Now there's coaches at every level, at every financial investment. Find one that has the receipts. Like I have a website levelupwithlinda.com is full of client results, client results, you will overwhelm yourself with so many women's results in money, in business, in life, right? Find a coach that has receipts. Then invest in yourself by paying them to help you. - Absolutely. - And understand that a coach is not a therapist. Like you go to a coach when you want a result. If you are having a bunch of money-- - You're not going to drone on about nothing, we're gonna get to work. - Right. I always tell my clients, I'm gonna ask you to do certain things. They don't require that you remember how your dad talked to you, that it triggered some shit. I don't care, emotions are not required. Do what I'm asking you to do. It requires zero emotional bandwidth. - Oh my God. I'm not asking you to remember what your dad said to you. - Oh, but Linda, you're so, you're so direct, you remind me of my dad. I don't even know your dad. - Well, I'm not your dad, we got to work. - You know what I'm saying? Like, oh, one lady was like, well, my dad's winning out of prison. I'm a damn sure I've never been to prison. So I definitely could not remind you of your dad. (laughing) - I'm telling her, my God. - I'm like, I know you lying. (laughing) - So great. Well, I think that's a good place to wrap up. It's, we're hitting this timeline. Man, what, you are fiery, I love it. I love that. And I can see why you are very successful in what you do. And I feel lucky to have had this conversation. And I feel lucky for more women to hear this and to just grab on and fucking go. Because sometimes we can get a little lost in the sauce and sometimes you can go and then figure out the other shit later. But going is the important part. And I love that you are there to kickstart shit. - Absolutely. Thank you so much for having me here. It's been my honor and my pleasure. I'm like, you know what? More people need to listen. You're watching and you're an entrepreneur or you're thinking about being an entrepreneur. You need to understand that what I said a little bit ago, you need more people to know who you are. So I'm never like, oh, that podcast is too small or that people are people. We just said human beings need behavior. - Yeah. - Right? And you have a podcast that has listeners that are women. - Yeah. - I don't care where you are in life. I know this podcast is gonna help you. Whether you can afford to hire me or not or hire you or not, this conversation, I know it's gonna trigger some change in the positive way. If it triggers you to think about your dad, that's the wrong way. Don't go there. Come back. (laughing) Come back. Front and center, not now. - Right here. - But thank you so much for having me here. It was my pleasure to have this. Such a wonderful conversation. It was just so easy. So I love it. - Oh, I'm so glad I love doing this. So thank you for coming on. - Yay. So I was telling you that I don't have anything to sell on this podcast. I just, if you liked what you heard, you can go to www.riseanddisrupt. Why would it not be disruptive? Why would disrupt not be part of my brand? Riseanddisrupt.com. And all you can see there is a sign up to receive messages about when I have a boot camp or a live event or just anything, any new events that are coming up and just go there. And I'd love to have you on my email list. I hardly email people. I'm not an internet marketer, but if you want to experience jolt of transformation, live with me, then get on that list so that you can be notified of that. It's riseanddisrupt.com. - And I will make sure that I put that in the show notes. - Thank you, darling. I appreciate you so much. - Absolutely. Have a great day. - Thank you, love. - Thanks, bye-bye. (upbeat music) - Hey, hey, hey, what do you say? Listen, first and foremost, please make sure that you have provided this podcast with a five-star rating on whichever platform that you are listening. If you want to support the show, please rate, like, and share. Also like, comment, and share on any social media posts that you see from me on Instagram or Facebook or TikTok. Please follow the podcast Facebook, emotionally unavailable podcast. You can shop my foot online, store, or schedule a one-on-one with me, emotionallyunavailablepodcast.org. I'm offering what I'm calling non-traditional counseling, astrology readings, and tarot readings. And thank you so much for listening to the emotionally unavailable podcast. (upbeat music) - All right, hope you guys loved that episode with Miss Linda the Spitfire. Love your feedback, love to hear how you felt about it. And I hope you guys will hit her up because Sis knows her stuff. And I think that's it for me. And I hope that everyone of you are doing well, and that is all. So until next time, let's all just keep swimming. (upbeat music) I am DEPE and cook.