Get ready. Ready. We're going viral. Get ready. We're going viral. Hello everyone and welcome back to another installment of the viral podcast. I'm your host Chelsea Lynn. And I'm your host Paige Jenn. And happy uh, October. Happy anniversary. Happy anniversary, honey's. I'm so happy that we got married. Are we married? Lively. If we were married, would you lick me? Especially after what you saw? Uh, I think no, no, no. I think you would be the liquor in the relationship. You wouldn't lick me? Well, yeah. Uh, what Maggie said and uh, I want some too. Yeah. So what they're talking about? Oh, you want to mention it? Why don't you just show the video? No, I'm not going to show the video. I know you hate mentioning stuff. And sometimes people are like, Paige brings up things. Chelsea doesn't want to talk about like the poo splats in the bed. It's like, oh man, we talk about that. I mean, it's poo splots and well, something happened last night. Why don't you tell them what happened? All right, I'll do it. And I was not playing on this, but I knew y'all bring it up right away. And we did? Well, you can't show us right before the podcast. Okay. So last night, um, I'm getting ready to go to bed. Long story short, I had some sort of, I was going to say it boil. It's a, yeah, Susan. Start calling me Susan because I had a boil pretty much on my vagina. Right between the lips and as I was walking yesterday, it would just rub and hurt. I'm like, what the hell is this? So I was going to bed last night and I was touching it and it got big. It felt big and hard. And I was like, let me just see if there's a head on this thing. Dude, it had shoulders, knees and toes. So I propped my phone up and I propped my leg up. And there she is. I mean, look at me straight in the face with that white head. Thank you, Gary. He's trying to get to you. So, um, so I go to like pop it and I barely even touch it. And the thing explodes. Spritz. It spritz. It was like a shotgun full. I mean, it just like exploded. White worms. Pause. What is it? Pause. It reminded me of white worms. It did have the little, um, okay. Don't say white worms. What is the white worm again? Don't say white worms. Okay. What is the double, the double W? Um, what's the W squared? What's the W squared? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Parasites. Yeah. Parasites. That's what it is. But it wasn't. It was, it was liquid. It was so anyway, so I got that on camera. And so first thing this morning, I'm like, y'all got to see this. You got to see it. Slow mo. We did some rewinds. I watched it like seven times too many. Oh, I watched it 50 times last night. I said Chelsea zoom in, slow it down because I wanted to see it kind of come out. It made my mouth water, but it was fascinating. You should try to post it. If you zoom in really close, just say to your elbow. You could do that. If you zoom in really close. I don't know if it'll ever be posted. We'll see. We'll see. So anyway, if we were married or just romantically involved and you saw that, you would never go down there. You're the liquor. I'm going to be the liquor. I know. It probably, it seems like you would be the liquor in the relationship too. Yeah. I mean, I would definitely lick, but I would expect to be a get licked back. A lick for a licked little molt lick. A little molt lick. Yeah, because that's what happens when you're a lesbian. I think. Yeah, you got a lot of that. Oh, for sure. I bet. What is the number one position for lesbians? Do you think? I don't know. I never thought about it. I guess it's different for age couple, right? Yeah, but I wonder the most the the most most, you know, I would say scissoring. But I said that before and I had a bunch of legends be like, no, we don't scissor. Yeah, that's a thing. Yeah, that's a thing, I guess. Who knows? Yeah, I bet it's maybe just taking turns licking each other. I wonder if that's a debacle like you looked mine first last time, like if they take turns, because it's like, do you want to come first or last? All right. Well, happy, uh, happy October 1st is what I was gonna say. Oh, yeah. It's October. It's full. It's full. We've got pumpkin spice and we've got, we've got to go get pumpkins and we've got to go where our sweaters and we've got to go a house and we've got to go do things. And I still don't know what I'm gonna dress up for for Halloween. Dude, thank you again. We've been trying to think almost the entire year. How one year did we do all four weeks? I don't know. That's insane. That was insane. It's gonna be hard to top that. Yeah, but maybe this time we can spend more quality time on just should we do one or two outfits you think like a one because I can barely think of one. Don't make me think of two. Gosh, why is it so hard thinking of a Halloween costume? When I was younger, I knew what I wanted to be like a SpongeBob. Yeah. So, so definitely, if you guys are audio listeners on Halloween episode, you're gonna want to hop over to the YouTubes and check that out. Yeah, and comment what are you guys gonna be this year for Halloween? Yeah. So we can take your ideas. Yeah. Got it. Yeah. Let's see. What else have we got going on? Did you check the mail today? No. Why do I have something in there? You forgot to check the mail. I'm not gonna lie. I don't check the mail. Dude, that's the that's the first of the video of the gaudy video. Do you know that? Yeah. Now that you say that now that you say that. Did you know that? No, but Greg and Beth check the mail. I'm not really a checker unless I'm less I'm waiting on something. There's nothing worse than getting the mail and those papers that you're like, do I just throw this away? Yeah. And what? Oh, we need a recycle. They're just sending out freaking mail for fun. Yeah. That's a thing. Where's it all going? Do you rip it up or you just chuck it fully? If it's something you don't want to keep. What do you do? I probably just chuck it fully. You don't shred it. No, I don't shred. What about you, Maggie? Maggie's not shredder either. I'll rip it up, but you rip. Yeah. If it's important I'll rip. If it's a Kmart back to school flyer, I'm not ripping. Throw it in the burn. I'm not ripping. I'm not gonna rip that. I'm not gonna spend my time ripping that. I'm not gonna rip it. Just all she's gonna do is just put on her feet. I'm gonna rip farts. But that's the only thing I'm ripping. Jack the Rippoo. Rippoo. Treaded. Okay. Well, welcome to the podcast. Thank you guys for supporting us and helping us take over the world and keep downloading, keep clicking, keep watching, keep subscribing, keep sharing. We love our super spreaders. So thank you guys for being here. Yeah, we love sharing Osborne. Yes. Hey, you're your favorite Halloween movie. I think you said it was like Halloween night or something random like a year ago. I like Halloween movies. What's that movie with the three three girls? Hocus Pocus. Mm hmm. That's a good one. That's like a clap. That's like, oh yeah, kid and adult. That's a good solid classic. And it makes you feel a feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Oh yeah. Every time I watch that, I just love it. Just even the smell of pumpkin spice gets me going. Any movie where it's not time and the streets are full of and they're trick-or-treating makes you feel good. And then the weather's crisp and oh you just crispy weather, crispy weather. I would love to go on a hayride or I would love to be on a tractor doing something out in the woods. Let's really do it up this month. I know we're on tour. No, I know we're on tour. We actually have a show tonight in San Francisco. More leeks, more steaks, more leeks, more steaks. But let's try to really embrace, you know, fall, fall and where we're at. I always do. But you guys, a lot of these shows are sold out. You know, we just did Sacramento. We're doing San Francisco, LA, San Diego. Those shows are sold out. Seattle, Spokane, Portland, Oklahoma City, Dallas, Houston, Austin still has tickets. A lot of these still have tickets though. Nashville, Minneapolis, Chicago, Indianapolis, Columbus, Detroit, Philadelphia, Boston, New York, Charlotte, Atlanta, and we have added a couple of shows. So you guys get your tickets at the viral podcast.co. Don't forget it's .co, not .com. Correct. It's just we like to switch it up a little. Well, do you think that there's so many .coms that they ran out of URL so they started to do co or somebody already went and got the GoDaddy certificate? What's that called? Yeah. When you write. Yeah. I think some but a lot of people do that. They hurry up and go get a name before somebody else can and then say, you have to buy the name for me. They like to hold that name ransom. It's like, why are you doing that? I'll never I'll never pay for that. I'll just switch a name. I don't give a sh I don't I will switch a name so hard before I pay somebody that's gonna that's doing a shitty thing. Yep. Exactly. Hey, you guys, we have 23 seconds left. Oh, like, oh, I know you didn't. Did you? A little bit. Did you really? A lot, baby girl. Just a little. We didn't head to the crib in a little bit. I didn't hear that you did. I thought everyone was doing good. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Hold on. Fuck you. Fuck you. For having parasites out your ass. If you're a pussyboil, fuck you. If you're a dog and you rub your ass on the carpet, fuck you. If you're a human who leaves, uh, do-do marks on the toilet. Yeah. Fuck you. Oh, man. You stepping dog shit. Fuck you. No, for real. Fuck that person. Fuck that dog shit, man. Fuck you. Fuck you. Oh, man, I got my heart pounding. Just yelling. Fuck you. That felt good. Yeah. If you have a heart murmur. Fuck you. And Paige has got a heart murmur, so she can say that. Yeah, I can say that. You can say that. Hey, that was so funny. That doctor coming back telling us everything wrong with us. Yeah, you got a heart murmur. Okay. Never done nothing about that. Well, I don't think he was anything you can do, right? But what can you do for a heart murmur? Yeah, I think it's like you just got to live through it. Yeah, you just got to watch. Just be careful. Watch TV. Just watch TV. And relax. Watch TV. You can be a cook. Life. Watch. Just watch and watch. Yeah. Should we do a little segy before we get started? What do you want to do? Oh, maybe a DM. Oh, let's do a DM. What's the DM for the day? Oh, I'll tell ya. What's the DM for the day? What's the DM for the day, honey? All right. Is everybody ready? Y'all ready for this? This is from a guy named Michael on Facebook. Damn. Michael. This is gonna be good. You are beautiful. I would love to make love to you. I'm Michael from North Dakota. My number is love to get together with some fun. You turn me on big time. And then a selfie. We should call him. Yeah. You'll know. So you still got that fun in you? A little fun then? You should call him. Like, hey, Michael. Thanks for the DM. No. Because he messages me all the time. I don't want him to have my phone over. But this would be good if we star six seven him. Dad or call him off my phone and then I'll just block him. Yeah. Let me think about this. Okay, let's come back. Let's think maybe not this episode, but if we do. Oh, yeah. But that's Michael. He's trying to fuck me. Michael, I think it's the most common name in the US. Is it? I don't know. Michael. Let me look that up because you can't say that. Oh, yeah. Can't. Y'all can't say that. Maybe common name. I'll read my DML Chelsea's looking that up. And remind me if I've said this before, this girl said, you should let Chelsea put pop rocks in your ass, honey's already done that. Have we no pop rocks? Oh, no, we could do an ASMR, but like ask them in my NAR or whatever. Yeah. And then it's just. So what do you do with the pop rocks? Does she eat them out? I don't think she starts licking yet until we're married, but yeah, we're gonna get married first. But maybe just we'll put a mic up to my ass because I have a moist asshole. And I think they'll pop. They may get you may give it a couple of pops in there. Most common American male names, number one is James. That's funny. I could have swore it told me Michael. Then John, then Robert, then Michael. It was one of the top five. Yeah, it's top five. And then William, David Richard Charles, who lied to me the other day. Well, you know, people lie. Maybe is yahoo answers or something. You can't believe what you and read on the internet. Oh, you're so right about that. Yeah. Yeah. Richard. You can look up so many different items or any topic and get so many different answers. That's incredible. Oh, yeah. And then you're like, dang, which one do I believe? You just got to pick one to believe. You just do any meaning. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Okay. So those were great DMs. Now, should we move on with a don't have that sound. That's okay. Yeah, we can sing it. Ben can mess around. We can do whatever. You think he got a lot of binge overs and all that growing up? Do you think Ben bends over? Oh, yeah. You think Ben bends? Yeah, a little bit. Do you think Ben eats ass? I bet. I think he's been eating ass. Ben, have you been eating ass? I bet he eats ass. He's been. Ben seems like a cool eater. Yes, but he seems like a cool dude that he'd be open to eating ass. If you asked him. He put his hair up in a ponytail that he has long hair. So I bet he puts it up in a pony. Yeah, that or a back bun and eats. Ben, just let us know by either if you eat ass, just put yes real big on the screen or no in three, two, one. All right, there's your answer. Okay. Are we ready for a love height and Ben's the guy who edits our podcast, by the way. Yeah. So he's listening. Oh, yeah. People like people are giving him so many tasks in the comments like Ben, you had a missed opportunity to add a glowing fish at 2019. You know, he's been doing great. Good job, Ben. Oh, he's been. Yeah. He's been doing good. He's been. He's been doing good. He has been doing so good. Yeah, Ben, you're doing great. You've been doing great. You've been killing it. You've been slaying it. You've been doing the most. Yeah. And you're Ben. Not Ben Lauden. No, no, a different Ben. You're the exact opposite of Ben Lauden. Yeah. Thank you for that. Yeah. Okay. Are we ready for a love height? I love boy bands, boy bands, which ones you do? Just yeah, like, you know, 80s, 90s, 2000s, boy bands, you know, like I just think they're fun. Like new kids on the block. Come on. That's fun. They don't have them anymore. Do they? They had one direction. I went there, but I was too old for that. But I love a good, you know, and then the brothers, I guess. The Jones brothers. The Jones brothers. What about the Jackson five? They're, I consider them, maybe a boy band. But oh yeah, that's the Jack or the girl was in there, Honda sister. I don't think she was in there. Oh, just the brothers. Yeah. So I love a good boy band. Love them. Please don't go girl. Who sings that? I don't know because I hate boy bands. Fuck you and fuck you. Come on, back to you boys. Okay. What do you love? Oh, you okay? Sorry. I went to the wrong list. I went to the other one. What list was that? No. Well, I have. She told me what it was yesterday or no, a few days ago. Oh, most stick. Most stick in your notes. Oh, okay. I love replaying a song that I love over and over and over and over and over and over. And if I'm in the car by myself, we'll me and Chelsea don't care. We'll play. We will play one song 70 times and we're not kidding. Yeah. And a lot of people don't like that. Some people do. I love it. I can't get enough. Matter of fact, Beth gets pissed at me. If we listen to a song two or three times, she goes, okay, one more time. And that's it. And I'm like, I'm like, please, 10 more to check one. I have to get sick of it before I am done with it. And I don't even fully get sick of it. I just take a break and do something. Yeah, I take a break. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good one. We love listening to the same songs over and over. I wonder what it is. Like, why we can do that and some people can't. Like, why? I don't know. I feel like I could. Yeah. I could listen to stuff over and over. If I really love it. What about like 13 hours long? Yeah. I could easy. I think I could try. I've never done it, but I'm open to it. Yeah. We played hire from Chris Stapleton. Oh, Brett was about to kill us. We played it so much. He was driving. He goes, I love listening to the same song over and over. I love turning left. Oh my God. And I really do love it. If it's a good song, why turn it? I love you. I love you. What's yours, Maggie? And I just told you all this before we started filming. I love bringing Kevin to work with me. Yeah. Kevin gets to come to work. I just get to take him everywhere I go. You little dog. And I love that. Yeah. Bring your dog to work day. He loves it because he's obsessed with you. He's obsessed. Did you guys ever get to bring a cousin to school with you or anything? No. Bring your cousin to school for show and tell. Well, didn't they have school too? I swear, like if we had cousins visiting, we could just like kind of bring them for a day. No. I swear unless I'm tripping ass. I mean, that would have been cool. Visiting. Yeah. Like they would just pull up a chair next to you, but you would have to be like best behavior type. That's crazy. I've never even heard of that. No. Okay. Well, no. I never heard of that. Interesting. Okay. My hate. My hate. Yes. Is everybody ready? When someone answers a FaceTime or they FaceTime someone and then they put the phone in your face. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? So it's like anyone, if Maggie FaceTime someone, they answer and then, yeah, I didn't FaceTime them. You did. You talk to them. Yeah. I hate FaceTiming kind of. I can't ever hear on FaceTime. I have to put it up to my freaking ear. Just don't FaceTime me. No, I never FaceTime you. But you know what I mean? Yeah. They'll answer FaceTime and then. Yeah. Why you put it in my face? It's like answer your own call. Yes. Even if it's a call, don't even put the call up to me. Correct. Yeah. That's bad. That's just common sense. Yeah, it's common sense. But it happens a lot. Yeah. And not necessarily with like strangers. I'm talking about with like, like, friend, like, you know, Officer Daniels does it a lot. Officer Daniels does it to me so much. Yes. I had to actually tell him to stop. He'll answer a fuck and then just put me and I'm like, I'll walk off. So, and other people do it. And I just, I hate it. So there's that. That's a good one. That's a good one. Thank you. I hate when I'm pooping and pee starts to come out and it gets all over my butt cheeks because the poop's so big it throws off my vagina's equilibrium. I put that all in my nose. Ma'am. Whoa. Ma'am. You ever doing that? You're just taking a poop and then pee starts to come out and then it just, you're like, maybe your shit's so big. It's twisting your pussies. That's grossing me out. But yes. I hate that. Yeah. And you get a WAP extra and you get a WAP good because it's all over. That calls for a shower. Yeah. That's a good one. That's a good one. Ma'am, dude. My hate is self-checkout lines. Oh, yeah. They never work for me. Yeah. And doing it yourself sucks and there's too much going on and to hold. And sometimes I, they don't have regular, I was open anymore. So sometimes I have a lot and then it keeps freezing and then the dude's just staying in there and he won't come help me. Yeah. I don't like a self-checkout. Even if I have two things, I'm usually, wait, I'm usually going through a line. Here lately though, they haven't even had the regular lines open. Wow. Dang. Oh. Okay. At the grocery store I go to. Maybe they need robots to work the cash registers. At to Krogas, at to Krogas. All right. I love, I love a good love. Hey, good job, everybody. Good job. That was good. Good job. Good job. Now do you want to do another one? Another one. Another one. Another one. DJ Khaled. Let's do a two truths, one line, two truths, one line. All right. Everybody ready for this? Dang, we're rolling through segments. Hey, we're rolling through them. We keep rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling. All right. Two truths and a lie. Paige, are you ready? Not really, honestly. Well, I get tripped out in this game. And I think I might have you tripped on this one. Okay, here we go. Two of them aren't truths. One is a lie. Paige, which is the lie. I've stepped on a snake. I've never set up a tent. I've seen the northern lights. One's a lie. I don't, was the snake alive? I can't go beyond that. She can't edit it for you. I can't edit things. This is not an interrogation. Well, a little bit, a little bit. No, a little bit of, no, a little bit of paragaty. Nope, pressure. Dang, that is precious. I've stepped on a snake. I've never set up a tent. And I've never, I've seen them northern lights. Dang, I'm just going to say that you have never stepped on a snake. I'm just going to say that you are quick. Fuck you. Fuck you. Dang, so you've seen those like paralysis, the northern paralysis things? Yeah, we went to Alaska and we saw, and they weren't big and bright, but we saw a little bit of the northern lights. I saw them here in Nashville. Dang, yeah. They're crazy that they're kind of everywhere now. Yeah. Well, what's crazy is that you've eaten my ass twice? That's up there too. Yeah, okay. Okay, two truths, one lie. Dang. Here we go. I had sex with my brother's best friend. I've been to jail one time. I've never watched Brokeback Mountain. Okay, let me do a process of elimination. You have been in jail for mooning. I remember that. Or you at least got to take it. I think you got arrested. For mooning. Can I say drunk take? Drunk take? Not jail. Drunk take? Okay, so you have done that. Yeah, just give that one. So have you either fucked your best, your brother's best friend. What was the last one? I've never watched Brokeback Mountain. Never watched Brokeback Mountain. I'm going to say that's the truth because you don't watch movies. You're supposed to guess the lie or the truth. The lie is you've never watched. Wait. Because I, oh, that's the truth. That's the truth. You've never watched Brokeback Mountain. You said you have. I said, I've never watched Brokeback Mountain. Okay, the lie is you fucked Jerry's best friend. Correct. That game's so confusing. Well, that's confusing. Because we have two different things. It's like, you can say I like something. Yes. And then we also have to guess if it's a truth or a lie. Well, I know it's got me with the movie because you don't watch movies. Yeah. When do you watch that? I said, I've never watched it. That's the truth. See, that's where you get confused. Yeah, that's where it's such a good movie. It's such a good movie. It's so good. You're the one who recommended it in my movies list. We got to watch it one of these nights. Dude, I need to go through my movies list. One of these episodes like a re-track of everything people have asked me and what I've watched. You just need a movie day. Yes. Yeah. I've watched a couple, but yeah, we'll talk about them. Well, here's what we need to do. We need to spend a day and we need to watch a movie. And then in between movies, you eat my ass. So we need to watch a movie, eat my ass. Watch a movie, eat my ass. Yeah, we need to do that. And any popcorn? Yeah, we can throw in popcorn in there. We can do the popcorn as we're watching movies. So when you're eating my ass in between, we'll have bread, make us popcorn. And then popcorn movie, eat ass, popcorn movie, eat ass. Okay. And are we watching broke back now? Yeah, we'll watch your whole list. Was Jerry mad you fucked his friend or no? That didn't happen. That was a lie. That was sick. Whoa. That's what we're saying. It's trippy, ain't it? Yeah. That's where you get confused. That's where you get got. We got got. Yeah. She's still getting got after the game. Yeah, I mean, the game's over and you're still getting got. Yeah, I didn't get what happened. Yeah. You did it. You got got got got got got. Now did you want to fuck Jerry's best friend? No, he's had it like so many best friends. I would say his main best friend. He's the one I peed in the bag for when he had to get drug tested and it spilled all over him when his parents were interrogating him on the couch for two hours. And he's just sitting there in my piss. His name's Grant and. So you never wanted to fuck Grant? No, because he's very close to our family. Okay. Like, okay. To you know, when it starts becoming a family friend, brother. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got you. Absolutely. Absolutely. Okay. Well, Grant, sorry about you. If you've kept that hope open, it's no, you can't, it's not happened. No, I think he thinks of me as a sister too. Do you think Grant watches the pod? No, my brother is always like, oh, Grant's just being so fucking stupid lately, but I don't know why. Oh, God. You know, just guys and their friends. Yeah, they're best. They're like really good friends. He's like, oh, Grant, I just, I want Grant to go do the gym with me and he's just being lazy and I can see Jerry saying that too. Yeah, I just push and everyone. And if they don't want to do what Jerry wants to do, he's like, fuck you. All right, well, I think it's, I'm getting hungry. Oh my gosh. For a little, uh, look, those little things that look like a limous, you know, those little things that in the little vegetables and they usually come in a can and they just got like a sauce with them. Like, they're just sweet. A little baked bean. Like a little, but that's right. Like a little baked bean. That's wonderful. Do you've got a can over there? I've got a can right here. Well, let's open it and row that beautiful bean footage. Hey, honey's wall climber here. Listen, I know that the wall climber call is one of your guys's most memorable calls. And I'm here to tell you that. Yeah, I used to climb walls. Um, you know, I can't speak for the original guy that this call was about. But for me, the reason why is this is that, uh, um, you know, I swing both ways. I like women. I like men. So, you know, sometimes I would just be in the mood to suck dick. And there's nobody else around. The next best thing was coming on my own face. So what I would try and do is I would lay on my back and then swing my legs up over my head and then jack myself off until I came on my face. But the problem was that, um, it's really hard to be in that position, you know, take a lot of strength, a lot of concentration. So I keep my leg all the way up the bottom of my head. So solution was to climb walls. I would, you know, put, hike my ass, my lower back against the wall and feet point up to the ceiling and wink myself off until I came right on my face. It was perfect. My dick was ripped up on my face, jacked myself off. It was comfortable. It was great. Um, I don't really do this anymore. I'm like happily in love with my partner for the past couple of years. So, you know, whenever I get that hankering to get come on my face, I'll just get him to do it easier that way. So yeah, wall climber for mama. Um, one more thing before I hang up, tell me, when are you coming to Canada? I know you're just in Toronto, but listen, Canada's a big country. I'm all the way over in Calgary. And listen, we would love to have you. And Paige, I love you. I've been following you for like 10 years since the vine days. I love you guys so much. Love you Chelsea, Fred, Maggie, Beth, Gary, Tilly. Love you guys. Love the podcast. Bye. Wall climber for mama. Well, hang on is wall climber for mama. Dude, he is freaking jacked. I don't think I I don't think I've ever had a hankering for come on my face. Right. He does. And I love that you called and told us that that would take so much brain power because being upside down and all dismembered and angled. How could you even a lot of people can barely focus on coming normally. Right. He's doing a 180. Right. Getting this is our caller right here, climbing a wall coming on his face. If you're watching, this is him right here. This is a lovely replica replica made from Holly. She gave it to me at the Spokane show. And this is a replica of a wall climber. Well, is this our first wall climber call? We've had calls about what you mean. Oh, yeah. Is this our first actual wall climber? I think we've had. Have we had one more maybe? Yeah. I think we did have another one, but I don't think he came. All of us loved coming on his face as much. Maybe. Well, why else would you do it? Maybe the position. You got to do it for the come. The blood rush maybe. The high man. What a cool dude though. So what? What? Do you think the guy is trying to eat his come? I guess he just likes it on his face. He likes he likes a come shot to his face. And if you're the only person there, you got to do the come shot to yourself. And I guess it's easier if you're climbing a wall. Maybe he could get the brain power to have a squirt gun. Yeah. Just hit him in the face when he wants to come. Yeah. And just think that's the come and then. I just imagine our little caller right here climbing the wall, jerking off just like this guy. We got a little figurine. Oh, this is this is the best thing in the world. They need to make rock climbing equipment for people that want to come in there on their face. Yep. I agree. With a harness. Make it safe. Yeah. Hello and welcome to the Moo Moo commercials. Psych. It's just me. Chelsea. Hey, honey's me here and I want to let you know if you've been on the fence about. Oh, I don't know. Chelsea. Um, I'm too scared to use a sex toy. I'm too scared to you. Put something in me. I'm too scared to put a little motorized vibrator on my clip. You guys stop being scared. Okay. You know, you want to bust a nut. All right. And that's what we're here to tell you about today. How to do that? Easier. Okay. With Adam and Eve. All right. The best way to get started is to go to Adam and Eve dot com right now. Okay. Because they're going to have everything you need to help you bust a nut. All right. Listen, they're offering you guys 50% off just about any item plus free shipping. Okay. Which includes rush processing and listen, 50% off and free shipping. Hey, Monch Sticks. That's a good deal. Okay. You can't beat that. They've got everything you're going to need to help you bust a nut. Chelsea. What do they have? Well, how about you just hop on Adam and Eve dot com and look at their huge website of all the different stuff they have to help you. Don't wait, you guys. Better sex and better nighting is just a click away. Just enter offer code viral at checkout. That's viral v-i-r-a-l at Adam and Eve dot com. This is an exclusive offer specific to this podcast, you guys. So be sure to use code viral to get your discount. All right. 100% free shipping and get it fast with rush processing code viral. Oh, yeah. I'm so happy that you know what this podcast has taught me a lot. A lot of things makes you really think and it makes you think and I definitely did not know about wall climbing before this pod and before that first call. We're just trying to figure out solutions for to make wall climbers lives easier. Right. That workout thing you lay in that flips. Oh, yeah. What's it called? The Ellucian table. Yeah, the he needs an illusion table. The illusion is cock and it's communist. Get up and jack off. That would be easy. It would be hard to jack off upside down because it's hard for me to masturbate if I'm laying on my side. That's what I'm saying for people. Stand up. I can't do it. It's hard. So for him to do that, he's really got a good brain. Yeah. Good job. Good job for having a good brain and keep, you know, I'm glad you got those come shots coming to your face. Keep that up and we're happy you're in love. Do you think he's what do you think he's thinking about? Whenever he's when he's coming. Just about nothing. He's thinking about nothing. My legs will be burning and shaking and if you're wall climbing. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Wall climbing. Wow. Strong. Well, honey, we love you. Love you. Thank you for calling in. Thank you for calling us with your wall climbing story. We need climber gear. Yes, we do, honey. So I'm sitting here with my fiance and he just asked me one of the best questions I think I have ever heard and I would love to get your guys' input on it. If you had to lose either your clitoris or your vagina whole, which one would it be? And for men, Brett, if you had to lose either your ball or your shaft, what would it be? I think it's kind of easier for men. But anyways, let me know what y'all think. I love you guys so much. Oh, yeah. Brett's not here right now. He's still in Utah, so I'll answer for the guys. I need my shaft to come. So I'm going to keep my shaft smart, Gary. No, yeah, I'm not going to not have my shaft. I need that to fuck women. Gary, are you a wall climber? Yeah, I've climbed walls and came on my face. Yeah, right. What? I do. He does. That is the horniest little dog. Oh, humpin' mama all day yesterday. Humpin' me. Hunchin' me outta control. Humpin' everything he gets is. And I felt so sad because, you know, he has urges and he doesn't understand them. And I just kept telling him, "Gary, I wish mama could help you, but I can." He splutes on everything. No, I don't, bitch. Yeah. He says he doesn't. He comes. I'll believe him. Flutes on your face, bitch. Gary. That's inappropriate. What? She's saying I spludger where when I don't. Sorry. Thank you for calling in, honeys. Would I rather... What was that called? Would I rather not have my clip? Or a vaginal? Or a vaginal. Was that it? Yeah. We got a P, but I would take it out of that whole factor. Well, you can close up the vaginal and still have your urethra. How you pissin'? Outta the other hole. Urethra. Okay. So just, we'll only have that little thing and the hole's just gone? Yeah. Which I could do. I don't need my hole. Yeah, I don't need the hole. Just keep the clip. I need my clip. Yeah, #keeptheclip because we won't survive without it. No. If I can't bust a nut, that's how I'm bustin' a nut. If I can't bust a nut, oh my gosh. And no periods, you got it made. Oh gosh. Hell yeah. Let's go. A freaking clock collector? Yes. A built-in clock collector. Oh yeah. I've been thinking they need something else for people. I don't know. They just need something else to catch clots and period blood. That's not a cup that goes a silicone cup. They need something else maybe that can connect on the outside like a hose. Can I, I don't know. Bro, I was talking to Beth about this the other day. She's been using those cups. Yeah, I gave her mine at the pool. A deep cup? I could never, I could never, I don't even want to attempt to use that because I know it ain't gonna work because I don't want to put nothing up in me. I barely want to put a tampon up there. You think it'll be sticking my fingers up there and putting a cup up there? That's what I don't love and you have to pinch the cup so it doesn't, so it can like connect to your cervix. And then before you pull it off, you have to get a little air so you don't just rip off your cervix. You gotta loosen it up a little. But Beth texted me and said, "Hey, you got a tampon before the pool." And I didn't but I had one of those diva cups. There was freaking crust and crumbs all over it. Brought it to her and she put it in at the pool. And it's been working Beth? No. She said no. She said it wasn't. Yeah, see I can't. People love them, people swear by them. People think they're the best things ever. Easy to use, not for me, not for me. My cup, my solo cup was filled up. And solo cup, I fill you up. Let's have a party. R.I.P. Toby Keith. Do you guys remember when Toby Keith ate my ass? Dude, I can't even bring up his name. My correlation with Toby Keith is to spot on. If you're an OG rock fucker, you'll know what we're talking about. We talked about Toby Keith eating my ass. He didn't really but we were just talking about it. I think it was my ass. Was it your ass? Years ago. I said Toby Keith ate my ass and that same week he had came out with colon cancer. Bad timing there. Bad timing on your part. Yeah. And then we made Toby Keith ate my ass merch. That dropped as soon as something else came out. Maybe it was uncurable. Yeah, we were like, yeah, let's just quit talking about Toby Keith. And then I sang I'm an American soldier, an American. And as soon as I posted that, two hours later, Toby Keith dies. Yeah. R.I.P. Toby Keith. And I thought, why every time I talk about this dude or something happens? And so I try not to bring up his name. Let's don't talk about him. Let's just say R.I.P. Toby Keith. You had some good songs. You seemed like a cool dude. You know, and that's pretty much it. Love you. Let's move on. We love you and we love your family. Let's do a, let's do a myth to make up a wood you rather right now between two things. Okay. Okay. Make one up. Okay. Go. Chelsea. Chelsea. Chelsea. Would you rather get a paper cut between your toes or underneath your, like if you lifted up one of your titties and then sliced underneath it with paper, like between the rib and the tip flap, you know, like right. I'm going to say toe only because it's going to heal faster. Being underneath my titties stays moist down there. Okay. Let's say 10 toes all 10 toes or the switch it up now that I'm chosen. Okay. Yeah, you can't switch it up. Switch it up a little harder or a little balanced, you know, just to be better. Okay. All right. I'll pick titt. No, I'm still picking foot. I'm still picking foot. Okay. Maybe one foot and one titt. Okay. Five toes. You're getting sliced. Page. Chelsea. Would you rather eat, eat mango sticky rice made with cum? Oh, that's a good one. Instead of the cream it's using that maybe cum or or eat every waiter's ass in the Thai restaurant. Fuck these are good ones. How many people you think are in there? Four. How long am I eating the ass for? That's a good question. Thank you. I'd say give it a good. Yeah, you know, you don't got to eat their ass for an hour, but I'd say a few minutes each one or you can just eat the cum mango sticky rice. And they're on a shift. I'll eat the cum mango sticky rice because I've taken chunks. I've ate cum before. I mean, yeah, but like in a dessert way, it's probably gonna be better than what I've had. Okay. Good one. And if you mix it together, you won't even know it's there. Oh, that's what I'm saying. Mix it in with that mango. No, it's a lot of cum. Oh, this is freaking sweet. You're gonna know, sweet. And it's not it's not even sweetened. It's sweetened with the cum. So you got the rice of shit ton of cum and then sliced up mango. God, what's a shit ton of cum? I'm in a big load. No, you said drizzled like the white stuff. If it's drizzled, it okay, it's drizzled like as much. That's a good amount of cum. Yeah, it doesn't usually come with so much cream. Am I getting extra cream? Yeah. Oh, okay. I'm not changing the rules. You're asking questions and I'm answering. Okay. So the drizzie, right? Oh, I'm still going to drink the cum or eat the cum. Maggie, same for you? Oh, yeah. Probably. Yeah. Okay. Good job, everybody. Yeah, those were good. Thank you. Good job. Hello. I hate splinters and slivers and all that. I don't. Yeah, I don't think I've had a splinter. I can't remember the last time I had a splinter. You're going to get one now. Oh, just knock on the wood. Knock on the wood. Good thing we have this real wood desk. The dogs are going nuts. Hey, guys. They think somebody's here. Hey. It was just us. It was just us. It was just us. Yeah, sorry. That's big news. These are mama's little Tilly's beautiful. Mama's little protectors. Mama's little protectors. Kevin. Okay. So what's next here? What were we doing? Or what was the call the clit and the vaginal? Yeah. So would you rather, which I love? Yeah. Dude, just the vaginal, you really don't need it. Imagine just only having that and you just get fingered. Yeah. And I guess a dick. And can I say that when I was younger, I thought that going to the movies and setting down on a seat and having a needle poke up in you was going to be a big worry in my life. What? And it's never happened. It is a big worry though, because I was at McDonald's when I was younger and people were hiding needles in play places and the slides and a kid came down in San Diego and got the needle in them and died. And so I, my fear was always going down slides like having something poke me. Jesus. When I was little, I remember the something was going around. I was real little. And ball pits. Five, six, and something was going around. We were like, oh, people are going and they're putting needles and they're setting them straight up in movie chairs to where we go and set down. People are getting poked at these needles. And my whole life, and I still think about it to this day when I go to a. But when I was a kid, and I set down to the movies, I would like push down and make sure there was no needle for I sit down. Dang. That's scary. Thank God it's never happened. Well, it happened to bread at my house when I had left some needles. You're not the needle in the couch. You got to do better. I don't know if it was me or somebody. That was like tweezers, Brett, Brett be picking two. I mean, but what is there anything that y'all thought was going to happen when you were a kid and it never did something like that? Hopping on the porter potty because there was a guy hiding in porter potties when I was younger. It was going around. He wanted to look at asses shitting, I guess. And where was he hiding in the toilet? No, look him up. No. He wanted to see the shit come out. I mean, what else would you be doing? Yeah, what else would you be doing down there? What if you're just peeing? You got to sit down there and wait? Well, he probably wanted anything that was given. No. I'm going to throw up. Look it up. Y'all, if I was sitting there taking a shit and I saw a man's face down and die in, in Duchenne. I was terrible. Was it in Duchenne? I don't know. I think it was just in Utah. Utah man. Yeah. My mom told me and then it was going around and I was freaking the hell out. Peeper? Peeper who hid in porter potty toilet gets three years sentenced. Utah man. Oh my God. Was there a man hiding in porter potties? Ain't no way. Oh my God. And then it said there's a prank guy who would do it too. So this has happened. That's not a prank. That's a felony. Oh, this was in Boulder, Colorado. I think there's one in Utah too. Maybe everywhere. There's probably a lot of them. This says Utah YouTuber pranks victims with a disappearing man in a porter potty trick. So apparently this is a thing, dude. Filming people too. Man. Wow. People be doing some weird shit. Yeah. Jesus Christ. Oh my goodness. All right. Well, thank you for calling in, honey. We love you. Love you. Love the wood you rather. And love the fucking Mary kills. Keep those calls coming in. And if you had anything weird or strange happen to you that you can't explain. Love to hear those calls. Yeah. Or the things how we just said the porter potty incident that shit that still freaks you out. Yeah. All right. Here we go. Hey, honey. Got another fucked up. Would you rather hear? So would you rather, for the rest of your life, every time you jack off, it has to be to a video of each other's partners jacking off. So it tells me when you're when you're masturbating, it would have to be to a video of Brett masturbating and Paige. It would have to be Greg. And you have to watch it every single time you masturbate. Or never get to jack off ever again. So I hope that you'll get come up with an answer because I feel like that one's really hard. Based off of the reaction, the last wood you rather, how y'all reacted to the thought of the school it anyway. All right. Y'all make me laugh. I love y'all so much. Hope y'all are having a good day. Bye. Love you. Love you, honey. Thank you for calling in and watching the pod. This ain't this is not hard for me. I am not going to not jack off. She's Jack the Reaper. I'm going to get my nut. So as much as I don't want to watch a video of jet Brett jacking off, I'll do it because I got to get my nut. School where? Square rail. Oh yeah. I would use the brain power like the wall climber and just I guess I'd just be watching Greg and imagining him being somebody somebody completely different. Who would you imagine him being maybe maybe Brett Michael's back in the day with that bandana. That's a good one. Because you know you'd see that hair. Yeah. Who else does Greg kind of Travis Kelsey, I guess. Okay. Would you rather fuck Travis Kelsey or um the other brother or or Greg Travis Kelsey? No, no, no, no, the brothers cause why can't I think of his name? The brother Travis Kelsey and Jason? Yeah, Jason. I could not man. They're both hot. That's good. They're both hot in different ways. Yes. Yes. But I think I would pick Travis Kelsey. Okay. You like the tallness or what? Everything. He's got a good looking face and I'm a face person. He has a good looking face and eyes. Yeah, he's very mottily. And if I was fucking him, if I was right now, if I was right, well, in any position, I would just be asking him questions about Taylor Swift. Not football. No. Okay. I'd be like, who's this song about? What kind of perfume does she wear? What did she cook you for dinner? Does she say the word mochi? Does she say mochi? Does she listen to the flower podcast? Can you call her? Can you talk to her? Yeah, I'd be asking questions. Yeah, we're going to get Taylor Swift on here. Yeah, our goal is get Taylor Swift on the podcast on that green couch. Can you imagine? She comes in here and looks up at her ceiling. She's like, what the hell is this? I've never seen it before. What is Taylor Swift listens to the pot? We don't know who listens in terms of famous people. She's here every Tuesday. She's like, oh, it's Taylor Swiftie Tuesday. And she's dreaming to be here by that corn on the cobble. I'd lose my mind. And she says jelty. And she says the tea and chelty stands for me, Taylor. Chelsea would die. I would die. Oh my, you would, you would pass on. Would pass away. That'd be cool. But you know, never gonna happen. But that's okay. I do wonder who listens sometimes to the pod that doesn't say or comment or I wonder like the just the craziest, not even like celebrity, why? Maybe just crazy to me. Well, did you see that viral TikTok? This has been forever going. I think I've mentioned this or that girl. There's some girl interviewing celebrities on the red carpet. I have no clue who she was. I'm sorry. And then who was it that famous actress? Was so many names. Oh, God, look it up. Was it? Oh, gosh, a really famous actress. Oh, who was it? Any new details? Fuck. Emma Stone. And the girl, the girl walked out to Emma Stone and she's about to interview Emma Stone and Emma goes, Oh my God, I love your podcast. And the girl's like, what? She's like, shit. She's like, I listen to your pod. I love your podcast so much. She's like, what? Oh my God. You know why? She's like, I'll listen to your podcast. Yeah, that'd be crazy. And I looked her up and it wasn't like a big podcast. So it could be good people could live. That's crazy. Yeah. That's insane. I think I remember you telling me that. Oh, that's freaking insane. Mo Stiki. That's the best one. Mo Stiki. Mo Stiki. Whenever I went like this, I'm a pussylift last night. I got a mochiki. You got a mochiki. You got a mochiki, yo shish. A moch drippy, moch drippy, moch square rooty, moch sprints and spurts. I need to see that again after. Slow mo. I need to watch it a couple more times. I was in shock at first. It's the fact that you didn't have to put any pressure on it. You just grabbed for it and it zirted out. I might, I might post it zoomed in to my Patreon. I might. I'll think about it. You have to. You'd really have to zoom. Yeah, you'd see my pussy. Yeah. If you post yours, I'll post mine when I coughed in the bathtub and a clock. I sent it to me. You sent it to me. Yeah. I thought it was cool. Yeah. Looks like a lava lamp in the bathtub. It did. Stop. You're grossing Gary out. He wants out of here. I don't even want to be in here anymore. He's a fucking gross. What do you think's worse though? A freaking. A boil or a clock? Yeah, a soothing oil post pocket or both. Both are disgusting. Good thing there's a lot of skin down there. You can zoom in. Yeah. Yeah. You're the liquor. I would never be down there going malt leaky and then get that drippy. I'm going to watch. I'm going to watch. I'm going to watch. Is there sound? Yeah. Listen, here's the sound. Did you scream? Hold on. Oh my god. That's me going. Oh my god. You're in disgust. I couldn't believe what I saw. Maggie's alarm went off. It just went off. I mean, this shot out so fast. You were. I'm so happy you filmed for real. Yeah, angles. Thank you. Kurt angles. I wish you would have even had a second. Yeah. I'm surprised the cream didn't get on your phone. All right. Don't say cream. Creaming. The juice. The juice and the cream. It's stringy like a worm. How far did it shoot? If you could give inches. Well, there was a cabinet in front of me. So, it hit the cabinet, but if the cabinet was not there and it was an open room, I'm not even kidding you. I'm not even exaggerating. It could have got six feet. Whoa. That's how y'all saw how fast it came out and how it went quick. It needed to be released. You've been on under some pressure for a long time. Yeah. Yeah. Under pressures. You've been freaking in. Oh. Heart in. It was hurting yesterday. I got to boil on my pussy. Oh, my pussy. Oh. Well, you guys, hey, come see us on the road. We're traveling and we're doing shows and traveling for mama. And we're still going to have regular scheduled podcasts. I know that's been that's been a thing. People have been like, wait since you're traveling and doing live podcasts. Are we not going to get regular? You are. You're still going to get regular. Yes, regular and also people have been saying, oh, I'm afraid to go alone. Listen that I have met so many people when I went out on Chelsea's tour just for like a couple of weeks with them. I met so many people that came alone and had the time of their life and met a lot of people at your shows. So you will be okay. Gosh, there's one more thing though. And people are coming alone, but they're also meeting up before that. Like, check the rock fuckers group on Facebook. They're like meeting up before shows and you don't have to go alone. We're all going together. So you'll you'll have fun. I promise you. Oh, yeah. Yeah. What else are you going to say? Mostiki? Gosh, I felt like I wrote down something to like, and you didn't write it down? No, I did somewhere, but it might take a minute to find the most. Save it for next time. We have one more call. Okay, let's do it. Hit it up all up. Hey, baby. Hey, Chelsea. Maggie, Brad, everybody love you guys so much. I'm just in here thinking about wallowing cum. And I am just wondering how you guys feel about it. Like, I know, or I guess I feel like it's expected of women to do and men to do if they're giving a blowjob. But like the texture for me and like the warmth and like, it's just nasty. I can't I can't move past it. I can't move past the texture. My husband's okay with this. He doesn't mind that I don't swallow, but then I feel like, I don't know, maybe everybody thinks that they shouldn't swallow. I don't know. I'm just wondering what your guys' stuff on that. Does it gross you out? Do you like to do it? Do you not like to do it? Does your man care? Does he not care? Um, so yeah. Love you guys. Love the pod. Love everything you do. Oh, yeah. Love you, honeys. Love you. Lots of cum. This is the cum episode. Yeah. Come hither. We didn't even try, but this is the cum episode. Um, yeah, not a not a big cum fan, but I mean, the wall climber loved cum. Love cum. Yeah. Yeah. I don't I think if a guy gets pissed at that, you're not swallowing. Fuck you, dude. Yeah, I'd say here's a here's some a couple of discharge. Check this for mama. Um, but, uh, I would say I'm not huge on cum, but I am a competitor. Yeah. And so whole. Yeah, you are. I'm just I take one for the team, you know, I mean, I have swallowed it and you just got to do it quick and you got to do it fast and you can't think about it. You literally just got to put it in my mouth and I'll go and then swallow it and I'll, you know, I'll have a chaser. Yeah. But I don't love, I've also had it my mouth and ran to the bathroom and spit it out. And then it freaking makes your teeth feel all like sweaty and, um, chalky sometimes. Listen, it's okay if you don't like cum. Yeah, cum and go as you please. Yes. And that's what we're saying. Do what you want to do. And if any, if he has a problem with it, maybe you guys can meet in the middle somewhere. Maybe you can swallow half of the cum. Yeah, maybe it being your mouth is good enough. Have a little, have a little a cup beside the bed to, you know, a little cum, have a cum cup. Yeah. Do that and or hide it from him. Right. How's he going to know if you swallowed his cum or not? Exactly. So thank you for calling in, honey, as we love y'all. Love you. Yeah. And give us a call. Give us a call and don't, if you're not a user phone. Yes. If you don't have to use your phone, watch a tutorial on YouTube. Oh boy, I would suck, dude. You don't have to use your phone. We're not going to those rotary phones and that I wouldn't know because if you had to kind of go back to a one or something before you would start. I miss those rotary phones. Yeah. Yeah. So give us a call and our malt stick phone number is four, four, two, seven, seven, seven, three, three, three, one. And always remember, you're doing great. You're looking good. And fuck what everybody else thinks. See the more sticks tonight, Sam, we're just going to night. Baby. Oh, yeah, I'm your ass. Bye. Moustie. That's the best freaking art.
