Fort Fritz
OUTTAKES Chapter Four: The Villages of the Dam
At your job, do you ever have to deal with a nose roller? How about a snub bully? Well, if you're installing a new conveyor belt system, dealing with the different components can sound like you're speaking a foreign language. Luckily, you've got a team ready to help. Granger's technical product specialists are fluent in maintenance, repair, and operations. So whenever you want to talk shop, just reach out. Call clickgranger.com or just stop by. Granger, for the ones who get it done. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, it's that mortgage guy, Don. And MJ, Home Loans Radio, is proud to bring you this Outtake episode. Don't miss the boat, compare your quote today at thatmortgagegoddon.com or at that mortgage god Don on Instagram. Here are the outtakes for chapter four, The Villages of the Dam. Four-thud-pumper. Yikes. Wahoo! Whoa! Your rosus Alexander. Oh, that's right. I didn't change the name to Alexander. That's right. Did Kevin take this? Oh, Alexander! Let's kill these zombies! We're undead. Ow. He's all undead. That's what you assume. Yeah! Oh, you got zombie elbow there? Oh, you got zombie elbow there? Oh, you did that. Oh, you did that. Oh, oh. There you go. Get it out of the zombie face! You know when they put a chair against the door handle and movement? Does that ever work? I don't know. The physics of it seemed possible. Apparently in school shooting situations, yes. Oh, wow. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Oh, I'm sorry. Am I American? Curl up in a corner now. Yeah. Is this our everyday reality? Hey, listen, what we just did was acceptable, but bring kids in. School shooting is too much. Yeah. It's really creeping me out there, guys. If I could kill somebody with a pickleball racket, I mean... Why is it creeping you up? I've only known you for a little while. Oh, he's assumed you could kill someone with a pickleball racket. I don't know why. That's just kind of the vibe you give off. Yeah, cool. He picked on purpose. Yeah, you know. Very cool. I did think it gave... I am a seasoned pickleball champion back in my day, so... And the skulls did have a satisfying thump. Yeah. The noise in it was really great. We get the slice, but you had the thump. Yeah. I hear zombie killing that really great cardio. It is! My arm is just... Yeah, I feel like a good workout just happens. Guys, I know we want to s*** each other off, but what are we going to do now? Maybe you want to do that! We're stuck in a store. I'm trying to figure out what this is, though. It's a store. This story brought to you by Wikipedia. Health. Health.Hawai.gov. National Institutes of Health website, which is under the U.S. Department of Health. And quick AI answers on Google. We have to footnote our s*** now. Well, I mean, it's been a while since we've done tribute to the great Wikipedia. Wikipedia. Wikipedia! I praise thee with my $2 tithe. I've never given to them. Alright, y'all. Except your time, Apple. Did you know it's one of two U.S. states that were internationally recognized as sovereign nations before becoming U.S. states? Oh, yeah. Do you know what the other one is? Oh, Texas. Yeah. Oh, that's point. I f*** you, me and daddy. Look at you. Wow. He's going to get... I will stab you with my sword. Put that on there. Look. Save it for the zombies. I'll put it down. Keep your eye on that one. I may be looking at his own, babe. Uh, first... Nick, he's looking at... Oh, boy. Oh, f***. Oh, boy. F***. Molokai. Molokai. Molokai. I want to know my kid Molokai. Yeah, sounds like it's eaten from children of the... Yeah, that's Molokai. I think it's spelled differently. Yeah. You don't know. I don't... I also kept eating Molotov cocktail. I was like... The whole time I was like Molokai cocktail. All right. (beep) Oh, lost my spot. ♪ Boop boop boop ♪ ♪ Boop boop ♪ ♪ Da da da da da ♪ ♪ USA ♪ ♪ King Kamehameha ♪ ♪ As a throw ♪ ♪ As a throw ♪ ♪ King ♪ ♪ Kamehameha ♪ Yeah. ♪ Kamehameha ♪ ♪ Kamehameha ♪ (laughing) ♪ Kamehameha ♪ ♪ Kamehameha ♪ ♪ Kamehameha ♪ ♪ It's got a lot of syllables ♪ ♪ They do it's fam ♪ - Right. - You know the ancient Hawaiian's did love Dragon Ball Z. - Not infested. That's their house. - That's their home. That's true. - That's true. - It's their real estate. - They're just cockroaches from now on when I'm trying to kill them all. - It's just like the shark suburb. - Cockroaches are different. (laughing) - Look. - I'm a Floridian. - All right. (laughing) - I'm with you on that. I have to kill one at Nutcracker rehearsal for a time. - No. - The other day. - Just so everyone knows leprosy, if you don't, it's also known as Hanson's disease. - Really? - That's what Beck Hanson has. - Yeah. - What that was gonna say. - Hey, Chris Hanson. (laughing) - Jim Hanson. - Oh. (laughing) (laughing) - Why they have to end the leper hockey game? There's a face off in the corner. - I always, nice, I always thought it's kind of like how prairie dogs have block death. - What? - Yeah. They've got like bubonic plague. - That's so bizarre. - And nine bended armadillos of. - And koala bears all have chlamydia. - Yeah. Really? - Yeah. I found that last time I went to Australian. (beeping) koala bear. (laughing) - Give him a clap. (laughing) - Mm hmm. - That was a good chlamydia pun. - Thank you. - Thank you. - Thank you. (laughing) - You're due diligence on that. - Just gotta do it. Okay. (beeping) Okay, here we are. Mm. (beeping) - Cover up the patches on your skin with bits of spam. (laughing) - That's what it's talking about. - Where it came from. - That's disgusting and delicious. Simultaneously. - I will. - Never eat spam again. - I will. - Never eat spam to begin with. - I do. - I don't think I've ever had it. So. (beeping) Convicted. - Naked. (laughing) - And boded. I hope they put clothes on them. - Convicted and naked sounds like a new show at Annie. (laughing) - Can't be. (laughing) - Is death guaranteed with leprosy or is it? - Pretty much. I mean, you're getting infections that your body can't fight. - Oh my god. - And so you're actually. - Oh my god. Just go septic and just that's it. - Correct. - Yeah, like the worst oxy-commercial ever. - Yeah. (laughing) - That's true. (laughing) (laughing) - Over time, they built a thriving, remarkable community. - Yeah, that's great. Both add like fingers and toes on the floor. - They just all together that created one person. (laughing) - That's a good leprosy. (laughing) - Nice one. They're like Lego people. They just stick it on there. - Don't step on it. - And that just give me that. - Alright. (beeping) - Marie. - I don't know about this. - I don't know about this. - This is as bad as the borderlands movie. (laughing) - I'm very good. - The Tuskegee experiment or the Tuskegee syphilis study. - What? - Oh. - I've heard of syphilis. - Yeah, you have. - I'm a big fan of this disease. I gotta tell you. - What? (laughing) - I don't know about questions. (laughing) - This is endlessly fascinating. Syphilis is a crazy disease. - Yeah, you need some different hobbies. - Shut the f**k up man. (laughing) You don't know what I like. (laughing) - Alright. - It's simple. It's go on. - The D's nuts. - D's nuts. - D's nuts. (laughing) - Spread that syphilis all over. Like urban jotty apple seed. (laughing) - I did that. (beep) - Well, it'd be years. - Years, I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. - And then quaternary is like you have that stumbling almost like Parkinson. - We're not trying. - Yeah, trimmers. Yeah, trimmers. And Parkinson's gait. - I think we'd do that on Meryl Streep movie out of Africa. - Yes. It's so beautiful. The music is so pretty, but she had it. Like, her husband had it, gave it to her, and like, she got really sick from it, she couldn't have kids. I guess they, but I, it's like, they didn't catch it early enough, but they think they caught it at the other stage, whatever, before, like to stop it where it was. - But like, you can stop it from progressing, but you can't get rid of it at that point. - Right, yeah. - And then a dingo ate there, baby. (laughing) - They actually found the baby, and it was true. They actually found a baby skull. It had dingo. - No, that was a different movie. - Right in the dark. - I'd have it still. (laughing) - Dingo's are eating babies all day. That's all I'm saying. - All right. - So. (laughing) - Thank you for that, me and Eddy. Break her back. - All right. (beep) - Nick, you are wearing size 15 shoes, just put these on. Okay. - Well. - Do those fit? Okay. Kick them off. - Yup, yup, yup. - I'll try it. - You seem really interested in Nick's feet there, Quentin Tarantino? He's mentioned several times that these are certainly large, but I will give these hospital slippers a chance. - Tell me more about your large feet. (beep) - Uh, let's have Angeligo, uh oh, they're coming back around, and we have to-- - We hear them coming in and see them again. - They're coming back around again. - Yeah, let's do it. Just do this thing. - Yeah. Well, they have to edge closer. (laughing) - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - With these zombies are edging? - They're edging. - They're edging. (laughing) - They're doing it. - They're doing it. - They're doing it for eight hours. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. (beep) - Don't even attach anymore. - I've got the entire day off. I'm gonna (beep) for eight hours. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. (clapping) - Outtake. Don't worry out. (laughing) I promise. - We have to call outtakes now. (laughing) (beep) (beep) - Man daddy, open another beer. (beep) Thank you. (laughing) - The only time you don't have one, you're gonna go. (laughing) - I thought for sure you have one. (laughing) - Still my favorite outtake so far is where there's a pause. Here we go. The joke is on my now call it. (laughing) - All right, let's, we only have enough time. (beep) - I don't know, man, there's boxes. There's cardboard boxes. Can we, oh wait, hold on, let's all try to get inside of them. They make, no, no, no, no. - I'm talking about this. - I think Nick peed in those. - Oh, that's right. He's got a whole box-paying fetish thing. (beep) - Damn it, I can't even escape your Amazon P. (beep) - Sighting the almighty Wicca Badaia. - Oh yes, Wicca Badaia! (screaming) - Keep it 100. (beep) - Uh, the... - What does that say? - Uh, do you throw it? - I think, I know. (laughing) - It was Hans. - So. (beep) - People underneath depleting their oxygen at the very bottom. Oh my god, what a treacherous way to go, man. - That is not how I want to go. - I have almost gone like that. - I have too. - Would you rather be burned? - Rather be burned. - Rather be burned alive. - Burned alive? - Way cooler. - Drowning. - I think it would rather freeze to death. Just go to sleep. - Yeah. - But what if that happened to you at an alkaline trio concert? - I mean, a little more epic. - Okay. - Everyone's too old there now. No one does anything to stand there now. (laughing) - It is true. - Sad mid-forty circle pose. (laughing) - Yeah. - Alcoholic mom. (laughing) (beep) - I think there was a, I want to say, Liverpool football club in England. - Yep. - There was a legendary crush that I think killed like over 70 people. Everyone trying to get into one entrance. - Mm-hmm. - And then they kept pushing and there was no reprieve. - So. - Humanity's worst is that. - Yeah. - It's like, I'm going to get into this. (laughing) - I want to get into this. I don't care who I hurt. Just as long as I get what I want. - Yeah. It's rough. (beep) - Crowd fresher is measured in kilonewtons per meter. - Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. (laughing) - So kilonewtons is a thousand newtons. - Yep, points. - Yep. - So kilonewtons per meter. - For kilonewtons. - And it. (beep) - And this is according to an official at a preff conference. La-la-la-la-la. And this is according to an... La-la-la-la-la-la. (laughing) (beep) - Guys, guys, look back at that crowd. That's not pretty. - A lot of dead people. A lot of headless people. - Raise your hand if you would kill them all over again. - Oh, all day. All day. - I did that instinctively. I didn't even mean to raise it. - I've been trying to throw their heads back on so I can chop them off again. I mean, I just, you know, I have a hobby. - That's no life. - Well, that's no life. - I'm hungry. - All right, you're listening to Fort Fritz. (laughing) (beep) (laughing) - What a dick boot. (laughing) ♪ Don't miss the book and pay your card ♪ ♪ With that mortgage guy done ♪ ♪ Dot com ♪ [BLANK_AUDIO]