Host Rachel Miselman discusses the need to be open to changing one's opinion and listen to others' thoughts, as well as the detrimental affect of being too consumed by maintaining appearances.
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Bostonian Rap
maybe start like five seconds after so like we'll actually switch it but yeah have a great show. Okay thank you. Start at seven thirty. Hello and welcome to Bostonian wrap my name is Rachel Meiselman. You are listening to me on WBCALP 102.9 FM Boston. This is Boston's community radio station. So we are going to go to a quick disclaimer and then when we come back we're going to jump right on in like we always do and to tonight's show. The following commentary does not necessarily reflect the views of the staff and management of WBCA or the Boston Neighborhood Network. If you would like to express another opinion you can address your comments to Boston Neighborhood Network 3025 Washington Street Boston, Massachusetts 02119. To arrange a time for your own commentary you can call WBCA at 617-708-3215 or email radio at bnnmedia.org. Hello and welcome back to Bostonian wrap. So the first thing that I want to talk about is perception and appearances. People I think in this day and age well let me let me maybe back up just a bit. No one likes to be wrong. I certainly don't like it and I don't think anyone who's listening likes to be wrong. But I think that there was a time not too long ago that if someone were in fact wrong he or she would then say look I didn't get it right. I was mistaken. I had you wrong. If we're talking about an issue the person might have said I you know have more information and you know I've changed my mind. I've changed my stance. Today people don't want to do that. So I do want to talk about that and I think that as a companion piece or companion topic if you will I like to talk about post-truth because we're definitely living in a post-truth climate and that's something that's the subject that I've talked about a fair amount on this show. So let's first go to appearances. I think that what do they say 20 seconds and people have their minds made up about you. So it could be a matter if you're walking into a store dressed a certain way. If you're tall, if you're short, if you're thin, if you're fat, if you're blonde, if you wear glasses, if you maybe are physically in terms of mobility physically limited, if you might be dressed very well or maybe you're not dressed so well. I think people readily, even if they try to be open-minded even if they're nice people, I think a lot of people make assumptions, right? And the climate that we find ourselves in it's become people make assumptions but these assumptions it's different. It's not so much a part of human nature although maybe one could argue that this is an aspect of human nature but a decidedly less positive aspect. But people make assumptions today in this climate that justify the prejudices that they already have, the beliefs that they already have. And that I find is unfortunate and so that prohibits any kind of collaboration, cross-collaboration between fairly different parties, cooperation between different parties and it basically just ensures that we have groups of people who share the same opinions generally about a number of different topics but at the very least one particular topic and in order to find a solution they just rely upon each other. So of course, solutions may be found but I think that they're deficient. I really do believe that and you know unfortunately we have a number of people like this and they're in government or maybe their pundits, maybe they're on radio, maybe they're on television and that's also concerning because all right sure if a person is in government, whether a person's an elected official or a person who's endowed with a certain amount of authority to make decisions that impact the rest of us however greatly a small or you know minimally, we also have the people that, how shall I say, we have we just maybe it's just better to say whether they're elected officials or they work for the government without being an officeholder, they're in some kind of position to make decisions that are going to impact us however greatly. And if everyone is thinking the same way, if everyone is ascribing to the same views, we don't get much done. And so I come back to this idea about people who shall we say a lot of whom who seem to just want to be around other people that affirm what they believe and that's certainly an extension of being met with information, objective information. And when I say objective, I mean like information that most of us, regardless of what we think about a particular topic, you know, person, we can all kind of rally around. And despite being met with this or being presented with this information, there's still the decision to hang on to the beliefs that one had before getting this new data or getting these new details. And I just think that that's I think that's a tremendous shame. And so I've long lobbied, if you will, for people to listen to others for a cross-section of ideas, for diversity, diversity of ideas, diversity of political currents of thought, diversity of political affiliation. I think all of that is really, really important. But again, today people, they have done an excellent job of insulating themselves from ideas that they just simply don't want to hear. They've done an excellent job of shielding themselves from instances where they may be met with information that can just prove debunk ideas that they hold. So let me give a very clear example. J.D. Vance. So I appreciate that not everyone may like J.D. Vance. I say I appreciate that because he's a politician. He's elected officially. I consider him a public servant. Some people would argue that he's a politician. I do make the distinction myself. And people who know that I make a distinction, they would argue that the view that I have of politicians self-serving people that seek to hold public office, they would maybe argue that that's in fact what he is. And I say, "Well, we can agree to disagree." But my point here is that there was the vice presidential debate and it's the only one that's going to take place. I know some people that it's more than a dislike of Vance. I think it's an outright antipathy that some people have of this man. And particularly after a comment that he made within a larger discussion was plucked out and people just ran with it. And so of course I'm talking about the comment about single women and cats. And I've said repeatedly, I don't like that. How could I phrase that? It's an unnecessary stereotype of women. You're a certain age. You don't have children. We have cats. I don't like it. He could have used another example. But it was within, as I said, as I've repeatedly said, it was within a larger discussion about family and supporting family and who gets a say in the support that families get. And so I would have greatly liked to have a debate about the actual discussion, the point, the crux of the actual discussion, rather than a line, albeit, I don't want to say a crassly put line, but let's just say an unfortunate line within a larger discussion. People just plucked that out. And it was a device, if you will, or it was an activity, a practice that a lot of people engage in now to kind of, again, shut themselves off from any kind of discussion that might be happening around them that is outside their particular cocoon. And so to get back to this, the subject of the debate, people saw a JD Vance that wasn't stupid, that wasn't an articulate, that wasn't insensitive, that wasn't lacking in knowledge. He was smart. Now, I have to go back and watch the entirety, but I saw a number of clips, and the clips that I saw, he came across as very smart and very measured. And someone who had something to say based on a place of conviction, or stemming from a place of conviction, after having taken into account what others have had to say, whether those other perspectives have been ones that converge with what he says, or whether those perspectives diverge from what he has to say. I was looking at some of the reactions from online and listening to people talk about the debate, you know, around the bubbler, you know, in different social settings, you know, because I've, you know, kind of been running around today. And I've just been struck by the number of people who said, well, he did a good job, but I saw someone else who said, wow, he certainly polished, wasn't he? Slick. Slick is more like it. Where's the wall? Well, he was genuine. And I said, well, would it have been so horrible just to concede that J.D. Vance isn't the idiot, the village idiot that people wanted to take him for? And it's just, it's so hard, it's so hard to, I think in this day and age, have conversations with people because there's this inability to listen to what the other person has to say. There's this inability to, to let go of previous held ideas and maybe reflect on what other people have to say and weigh the validity of what other people have to say. And so right now I, as I said, I wanted to kind of get into what I think is a companion topic. And that would be talking about being in a post-truth climate. People are presented with information. It's not opinion. It's facts. Or if it is an opinion, I'll use my phrasing from earlier. It's an opinion that a lot of people can rally around. A lot of people with differing opinions about a particular subject or individual. And people still reject it. And it's just, I say to myself, okay, well, then how are we supposed to have a discussion? How are we supposed to be able to interact with one another? How are we supposed to work together? How are we supposed to learn from each other if we can't just listen? And if we cannot just maybe question what we have believed or if we are incapable of trying to understand why someone else holds a different point of view. And I know I talk about this a lot, but it's because it's a huge problem. It's a massive problem. And let me just say that it's not necessarily a problem between parties. It can certainly be a problem within a party. And so it's really important that we kind of re-learn, forget about interacting with one another, how to just think and be. The idea that we have a belief that might not be true or might deserve to have some kind of nuance attached to it, well, that possibility, possibilities shouldn't shatter our existence, right? And I guess another reason why I discuss this and why it's a running theme with me is because I'm a Republican and a lot of people want to put me on the defensive and I'm like, yeah, that's not going to happen. I'm not going to accept your view of all Republicans as what, who and what I am. I'm not going to put myself in a position. I'm not going to allow myself to be put in a position where I'm playing defense. And I would love to see Republicans, more Republicans, even if they don't agree with me on different issues, because again, it's not because we're in the same party that we're going to agree on everything. And I mean, that's normal. What I was talking about, what I mentioned a little bit earlier, I think is not normal where people are not trying to hear each other and they're not trying to find common ground and they're not being respectful as civil. But just beyond that particular topic, the idea that there are differences of opinion even within a party, whether it's Republican or Democrats, that should be normal. And that's healthy. That's very, very healthy. But as I was saying, I do want to kind of get back to the point that it shouldn't it shouldn't be a situation as a rule or a seeming rule where if you're a Republican, you have to defend yourself. Why the heck should I have to defend myself for being a Republican? Why the heck should I have to defend myself for being conservative? I care about people. I don't care just about myself. I care about others. When I'm doing well, that doesn't mean I stop thinking about others. And if people around me are not doing well, then it doesn't matter how well I'm ultimately doing. It doesn't matter how much money I have in the bank. It doesn't matter what title I might hold. If there are people around me and they're great, they're great schisms between how I might be doing and how others might be doing. And I'm speaking theoretically, that's not a society or community I want to be a part of because I think that we all benefit when we have the maximum amount of people enjoying public resources smartly and fully. So I'm not going to be put in a situation where I have to defend being a Republican. I'm not going to be put in a situation, allow myself to be put in a position where I have to defend, say, supporting this candidate or that candidate. So for instance, yes, I do support Trump. And that is no secret. And I've been very upfront about that, but there are reasons why. So for instance, I like the fact that Trump has encouraged Americans to learn another language. I think that's very important. I think in general, for the English speaking world, it's very important that we learn to speak another language. I mean, obviously, when I travel, I'm not suggesting or when I travel, we speaking more just generally, I'm not suggesting that we have to be able to speak fluently, speak a language fluently in any country that we may be in that's not English speaking. I'm not suggesting that, but some kind of gesture out of courtesy, respect for the people of the culture. But even beyond that, I think it is a good thing to be able to speak another language. I do think it's important. I mean, people talk about America first. These people, they really, they make me laugh, you know, America first, America first. These are the same people who don't even care what happens to their next door neighbor. You're talking about America, it starts with your own backyard, buddy, or chick. If you don't care about what happens to the young couple across the street or your elderly neighbor next door or the teenager around the corner who's, you know, looking for his or her first job, you know, and I can go on and on and on or the man who lives two streets over whose business just went under. How can you talk about America first, right? It doesn't seem to make, it doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. So I definitely care about community. I'm not unfeeling. It's, it's, it's, it's this great caricature. It's, you know, if you're a Republican, you're, it's, we might as well, I'll have like these black hats and these mustaches that we can, that we can twirl and, and we cackle upon learning about the distress of any one individual. And it's just, it's comical. It's, are there Republicans that are nasty? Of course. But they're nasty because they're just not nice people. It's not because of their party affiliation. And the same thing can be said for other political parties, including the Democrat party, the Libertarian party, the Green Rainbow party, the pizza party. And yes, people, there is a pizza party of Massachusetts. They're really, there's, it's pizza party. So I'm going to categorically reject the assignment of labels by someone who, particularly someone who has no interest in getting to know me beyond my party affiliation. I would like more Republicans to kind of stand on this. We don't have to play catch up. We don't have to rebrand ourselves. We don't have to try to make history. We already have a mighty legacy. There are already Republicans out there doing wonderful things. There are already Republicans out there working beautifully with different people to realize ideas and projects that benefit communities, municipalities, and even in some instances, the entirety of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. We don't have to be what a segment of the Democratic party, not the whole Democratic party, but a segment says that we are. And I'm going to say that the same segment of the Democratic party has ideas about what Democrats should be, right? And just to kind of show that I am very much swivel headed, there's certainly the equivalent of such a segment on my side of the aisle that have decided what Republicans must be and have decided what Democrats must be. But because Massachusetts is a deep blue state, and so far as how people vote, but then again, people don't often have a choice, but whatever, it's a deep blue state, that's why I talk about a segment of the Democratic party. I think the point here, the takeaways is that we just need to start listening to other people, that I actually think that people would have more confidence in who and what they are and the values in which they proclaim to stand if they did engage with different people, because when you engage with different people, you have to defend. I've said this many times before on my show, you have to defend what you believe. But if you're around with everyone around only with people who think like you, well, it's different, right? You're less likely to ask yourself questions, you're less likely to, quite frankly, be willing to entertain other perspectives. And I think honestly, you're less likely to stumble upon or create or put forth an idea that's truly innovative and creative. So I guess down with the idea of really just rejecting the possibility that what you believe might not be true or deserves to have some nuances attached to it or some qualifications. And also down with the idea that facts don't matter, they do. And your opinion doesn't trumpet. Your opinion does not trump a fact. I don't care who you are, and I include myself in that. What we're going to do now, let that all that kind of marinate, we are going to go to a quick break. If you do have something to say, I, of course, after that, I mean, of course, I welcome it. How could I not be a bit hypocritical? No, my number is 6177083211. That is if you want to call into the show. And yeah, I would love to have a conversation with any y'all. But let's go to that quick break. And when we come back, we're going to do another pivot. It's going to be a larger pivot. We're going to move on to another topic. But we'll be back in just a bit. The impact of a meal goes well beyond feeding our bodies, because when people don't have to worry about where their next meal is coming from, they can truly thrive, like Marta. 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This is Boston's community radio station. As I mentioned, just before we went to break, you can reach out to me if you would like. Ask me a question or we can have a little bit of an exchange. The number is 617-708-3211. So as promised, I want to pivot. And I want to talk about reincarnation or should I say reinvention. And I think that at different points in a number of people's lives, they want to wear another hat. I think that there are some instances where it's kind of part of the journey. It's to be expected. So say, for instance, you go off to college, right? You're working towards your associate's degree, your undergraduate degree. And you're someone different. So maybe in high school, you were a bit shy. Then maybe in college, you were outspoken, you were of a social butterfly. There are instances like that. Maybe someone in high school was a jock. But then they get to college and they become very interested in theater. I mean, all these different changes take place. And I think it's very normal. And I think it's a good thing. Kind of briefly tie in, jump back to what I talked about in the first part of the show. The idea of not just questioning one's beliefs and looking inward, but also just what a person is looking at. Okay, this is what I do with my time. And this is what at least defines me in part. Trying on different hats, just like contemplating different opinions, trying on different hats, it's normal. There's nothing wrong with it. It's a good thing. I think another point in one's life, you're speaking generally, but it's not necessarily the rule. It certainly doesn't have to be. Maybe when someone gets to a certain age, and I think it's when someone maybe hits their 40s or 50s, they might want to consider, if not a career change, they might want to go in a different direction with the career that they have had. So say if it's a teacher, maybe the teacher might want to step outside the classroom and move more into administration, or maybe vice versa. It could be an attorney and I'm mentioning educator because I was one. I still consider myself an educator for a number of years, been one a number of years. And then attorney, I of course trained as a lawyer, as a barrister across the pond, someone might be corporate and decide to maybe step into the role of doing public, maybe being a public defender or something that's focused on human rights, or it could be someone who has practiced law but decides what he or she wants to teach law, or maybe wants to do research on different topics and explore how the law can be changed, or how an appropriate law can be crafted, a bill that can then go through the necessary steps and it becomes law that can change a situation for the better. It can alter how things are done, or it can maybe add necessary resources to make any kind of endeavor under a particular umbrella more effective, or vice versa. One could maybe be a CEO and decide to become a chef, or one could maybe become a writer at 40. It's just, I feel like in the United States, when I lived abroad, I noticed that people, it was very interesting to me to see people, young people, college students working toward their first degree, they had to make a choice. Okay, doctor, if you want to go into medicine, if you want to go into law, you decided that, you still do, earlier than an American. I appreciate that some Americans know, oh, when I was 12, I wanted to be a doctor, or when I was 13, I decided I wanted to be a lawyer, but the difference is that in America, that's what we do at a graduate level. Whereas in different European countries, it's, you embark on those particular studies at an undergraduate level. And then, depending on the country, there are certain tracks that you're already put on at a younger age. So you might decide to be someone that really just says, okay, well, I want to do something that's more vocational, that's maybe more blue collar. Then there might be another track that's more academic, and so I'm thinking of France. And a lot of times, at least when I lived there, it was the idea that if you were on that academic track, there were certain courses that you took. And so you definitely, you know, you learned another language, but generally it was, I mean, English was always a language that there was some instruction in English. But students that were considered really at the top of their class, the crème de la crème, they studied maybe German, because German was considered, still is considered, a difficult language. And I certainly think that speaking German, writing German, it's not, there's certainly, there are a lot of other, there are considerations to take into account that you don't have to think about when you say speaking English. So for instance, there's of course, you know, whether a noun is masculine, feminine, or neuter. And then of course, so you have to have the right article. It has to be masculine, feminine, or neuter. You have to bear in mind cases. And so it depends on what role the noun is playing in the sentence. And so you have the nomative case, you know, if it's, you know, playing the part of a subject, if say it's the object, it's accusative, and you know, you can just go on and on and on, what's to turn into a German lesson. But it's just to say that it's, it's a, it's a beautiful language. I actually think it's beautiful and it was spoken in my family. So I've, I've studied it and I, and I want to one day speak it fluently. But there's certainly a lot that's involved. So it's considered a difficult language to, to, to study and in, to learn. And so for those students that excelled, you know, that were again at the top of their class, this is maybe one thing that, that was part of their, their curriculum, the, their class schedule. In America, I've always felt, or should I say, I began to feel, maybe that's, that's a much more appropriate way to say it, to phrase that I began to feel, or I saw that America was this great place. And so far as at any age, you can be whatever you want to be. That it's never too late. And that it's actually admired, even today, it's, it's actually admired for all the problems that we have, including the ones that I detailed earlier in the show. One thing that I think still holds is that I think a lot of people appreciate the courage that it takes to shift gears, to change course, especially as someone gets older. So I think it's a wonderful thing. Reinvention, right? We have artists that reinvent themselves, you know, I'm thinking of someone like Madonna, of course. And we have, we have other people too. But I mean, certainly reinvention, it's not seen as a bad thing. And it's considered, I think, by a lot of people as a normal part of life. But I think when we talk about politics, reinvention takes on a different tone, if you will, takes on a different conversation around it, takes on a different tone. The word itself takes on a different connotation. And I think that, that that stems from the fact that politicians are not well received. They are not, they're considered, and forgive me, because you have the, you know, the expression, right? Just like, you know, I was talking about JD Vance earlier, you know, the single woman, you know, certain age, owns a cat. We also have the idea about the used car salesman, right? And so I don't necessarily like to do, like to do, like to say, use that kind of cliche as an example in a larger discussion. So why don't I just say, and it's not about being politically correct, but it's just about like, kind of trying to steer, veer away from those generalizations. I think that politicians are not considered sincere. And it's because it's society. And I, I do have an antipathy toward politicians. Nonetheless, I am going to say, notwithstanding this dislike, I will say that I understand it to a certain point, this idea of being maybe, I'm not going to go as far as to say different things to different people, but understanding your audience and maybe making some necessary adjustments, making adjustments accordingly, right? I understand that to a certain point, because the votes, that's what's going to enable you to keep your job, right? And so I do think there is an element to be fair of sometimes saying what people want to hear, or at least conceding a point that you might not necessarily concede as readily. And it's not about you being stubborn. I mean, you speaking generally. It's not about someone being recalcitrant, stubborn. It's just about someone saying, oh, yeah, you know, maybe 10 minutes, 15 minutes earlier in the conversation, or maybe even five minutes. I get that to a certain point, but my problem, and I think the problem with a lot of people that they have when it comes to reinvention with politicians is that what was within the person that you were, the persona that you presented, that we saw, that you didn't try to refute, that you were happy for people to accept what were you being insincere? What prompted the change? And so I think that when you're talking about reinvention with politicians, people look with an eye that's, it's with a suspicious eye. I don't know. People are very wary. And so I'm going to be talking about reinvention, because I mean, there's certainly, I see one or two Boston politicians trying to do that. And my thing is, well, I think that there's a difference between going in a different direction. And it might be on a number of different topics. I think that there's a difference between that and just kind of let me introduce myself to you. So let me give you an example. The mayoral race. And I'm not looking the last one that we had in Boston, right, in 2021. I'm not looking to disparage item, either Madam Mayor, Michelle Wu, nor am I looking to disparage Anisa Sabi George for my Boston City Councilor. And it was between, you know, for the general election, it was of course between her and Michelle. But I did, and it's not even like they were trying to outright reinvent them. So I did feel with Anisa, it was a little bit more. But again, I'm not looking to be disrespectful toward Anisa. I'm not looking to put into question her strategy. It's just an observation. I feel, I feel that there was some activity on the part of Michelle to present herself is not necessarily a moderate. She was definitely running as a progressive candidate. Having said that, there were certainly Michelle Wu supporters that painted her as someone with the ability to listen to different voices and to focus on never hypocrisy. As someone who, yes, she's progressive, but not necessarily as progressive as she might like to think. So there was a little bit of, of, I think, a political slight of the hand going on there. It was, you know, a little bit of a shift, a repackaging, if you will. With Anisa, I felt like it was a little bit more and it was honestly, I think she kind of presented herself as a liberal Republican. I really do. I don't see her as someone who, I mean, she described herself. I went to an event. You know, she was very nice. It was an intimate setting and she was very nice and I didn't see her. And I'm talking about, again, Anisa, Sabi, George, I didn't see her be disrespectful toward anybody. She was actually very likable. She was very likable. And please, you know, I don't want to get any stick, you know, people coming away and saying, well, you know, Rachel said that Anisa Sabi George totally reinvented herself and part of that reinvention included Anisa being likable and being affable. No, I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying that, you know, she came across, very nice. It's not that she didn't come across nice while she was on the council. But my point, the reason why I bring up this particular event is because she described herself as a progressive with a small P. But I really felt that she was kind of running as a liberal Republican. And I think that, you know, depending on the mood, depending on the climate, I'm going to use that word again, people will go for it. But I think that I think for some people, certainly not everybody, because I know that there were some people who were certainly upset about Anisa's loss. They were very upset and they believe very strongly in Anisa. They just saw her as not being necessarily as authentic as she had been. I'm going to continue to talk about reinvention next week, because I think it's a very important topic. And I think as it relates to politics, it's something that we need to really consider. So unfortunately, that's all I have time for this week. But I look forward to hanging out with you as always next week. And remember, you can always call in the number six one seven seven zero eight three two one one. Thank you so much for listening. Bye bye for now. The preceding commentary does not necessarily reflect the views of the staff and management of WBCA or the Boston Neighborhood Network. If you would like to express another opinion, you can address your comments to Boston Neighborhood Network three oh two five Washington Street, Boston Massachusetts oh two one one nine. To arrange a time for your own commentary, you can call WBCA at six one seven seven eight three two one five or email radio at bnnmedia.org.