Football season zooming! The Notes: Nelson is distracted! Nelson is in a Cowboys-themed hell of his own devising! Put the jetpack dancers in the Superbowl halftime show, you cowards! Double Dragon was based on a true story! Is your management style more Billy or Jimmy!? Will’s yoga misconceptions! Top 5 Worst Animals to Put Leg Warmers On! Amateur enthusiast zookeepers! One thing about Nelson is he doesn’t miss an opportunity to make a Romancing the Stone reference! Hard bulwarking! Wrestling talk! Jim McMahon vs nature vs nurture! Never trust Hulk Hogan!
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Welcome to the double deuce podcast an amazing though that lasts only 22 minutes and is for you the listener So soak it up. So here you're two big beer hosts Will April and Nelson. Hey, we'll hit the timer and we're It's every time Nelson is like the first time all over again even though we've done it 400 odd times and it just keeps getting odd or But you know, I love it. I love the feeling. I love that excitement that comes with popping into a new episode Like where are we gonna go? What are we gonna talk about? Because a lot of people don't know this but sometimes we don't have a set agenda when we come into these things often We don't we're like let's just see where this takes us tonight Even when we do usually it's like we jot down three things to talk about but we don't know if we're gonna get to them That's right. That's right. And hey, if you like what you hear the randomness and whatnot Why not join our our patreon? We've got one and It's spicy Is it? Well, I mean not like showing our bare feet Popping balloons in a sexy way spicy, but like extra fun content spicy Like for example last month on actually on the first day of this month But as a homage to last month was a great song Bob that I wrote Yes And by great song, I mean it was a pretty mediocre song, but I I wrote it That's that's they can't take that away from you No, they can't and you know what they can't take away from me either my beats because I've got a program that presents from a beats to me and and that's how I make that's how I make the magic happen Yeah, you've you've got a you've got a beat guy Well not a beat that beat app. Yeah, but app but app and Robot as it's true and and then what I do is I just like think of things and then I say them and that becomes the song Yeah Pretty cool. That's less of a less written than freestyle. You're more of a freestyle master. I am more I would say I mean master is doing some heavy lifting there, but yes, absolutely I am a freestyle master and The world and people's moms are my domain I Feel like you're watching the game. I was just watching Dak Prescott's dumbass throwing another interception Yeah I'm in this hell in one of my leagues where and I was mad about it You might remember that draft I was mad that I was in a position where I pretty much had to take Dak Prescott to quarterback for me And I like Dak Prescott fine, but I hate the fucking cowboys But I was like well at least now I can you know when he's doing well I can be like at least I'm getting points, but sometimes he just shits the bed Just shits it shits all over that bed I mean I feel like this is a tragedy Great proportions like what are the chances that you a guy who hates the cowboys? Would end up with a cowboys quarterback I mean, that's just hubris right like we learned about in high school when we read Oedipus the king not really hubris because it's not like I felt like Like I could that you know I I was above it all that I could have a cowboys quarterback and it wouldn't hurt me No, I knew it was gonna hurt me and that's why I was so mad when I had to do that in the draft And I have remained mad the entire time And all that hates gonna burn you up inside Yep, probably Hopefully he figures shit out in the hopefully it's like last but last week two week yeah last week where he he done blowed up in the second half and and got me some points cuz I'm also stuck with him Being who I got left for the most part to get me points For this matchup, and I'm a little behind This is a really this is a really tense time to be doing a podcast in the middle of I know I know it's I Was distracted, but it's almost half-time and so that's okay. I mean I can carry the No half time in in actual American football has ever rivaled the half times you would get in Tecmo ball Especially the the Super Bowl halftime show in Tecmo wall with like the people with the jetpacks Yeah, that was pretty baller. I was pretty amazing Break this out for the Super Bowl. I mean I understand why but Yeah Yeah, the the world hasn't thought up to the power of Tecmo bowl yet I feel like it very nearly did with left shark but that was years ago and Almost no one remembers like future. Can't we get the jetpack people to do the halftime show yet like what when's it gonna take? It's 2024 like we've had a dismal about rocketeers in general. I was promised rocketeers and nothing Football came out like 35 years ago or some shit and we're still no no jetpack half-time show You know what also hasn't happened double dragon like in real life like I'm never walking around downtown Happened in real life. I think it was based on a true story. Do you yep? double dragon Yep The video game you you're pretty sure that was based on a true story. Yep It's I mean, it's basically you came to navel but with more kicks oh Man you are right there with a little bit of a love story thrown in because it's like, you know one thing God forgot to put in Cain and Abel was a love triangle and That would have made that story spice here. Let's double this dragon Now there's a there's a movie that I that I really feel like Netflix should have made by now Didn't they make a double dragon movie in the 90s They did but it wasn't Netflix and therefore it lacked the charm. It's true. I feel like they could crack the code You know, here's the thing is like if you're not careful you you might Double dragon could come off seeming a little bit Flat plot wise as it's basically just two guys beating the shit out of an entire city until they decide to beat the shit out of each other because I Think because they both love the girl, right? I think they beat up the guy who is holding the The gal and then they're like oh now we got a fight for her love yeah, yeah, then She's kidnapped and so so Billy gets I think it's Billy and Jimmy, right? Father Jimmy to go fight these guys and get my girlfriend back and Jimmy's like let's do it And then they beat up all the guys and then at the end Jimmy's like I'm the real bad guy and like puts the mask on But at the same time I feel like the guys who work for Jimmy would be like This whole time why you were beating the absolute shit out of us all across the city When we could have just been beating the shit out of your brother together from level one Like yeah, I mean, it's real bad management strategy it's not yeah to engender like trust and a healthy work environment within your your staff like Yeah, most people would be just like put on a performance improvement plan, but Not Jimmy's people No, I'm surprised that they didn't just take off at the or turn against them Yeah, yeah, no one wants to work for Jimmy anymore no dad Yeah But again, it's it's it's all on Jimmy It is it really is if there's anyone to blame here transparent with his staff and Wasn't beating the shit out of them all the time Listeners, are you management who beats the shit out of your staff? How does that make you feel on the inside? Let us know hashtag I beat my staff DD and let us know are you warm a Billy or a Jimmy when it comes to management style? Yeah, let us know let us know I mean we we want to we figure the world is made of Billy's and Jimmy's in management and We want to know which one you are so, you know, what kind of what kind of work do you do? And you do a Billy style or Jimmy style? Yeah, I mean, I don't know exactly what Billy's management style is, but it's not beat the shit out of your employees I don't think it's like get your get your brother to help you beat the shit out of Anyone who stands in your way, which is definitely more kind of American capitalism Yeah, I don't even know if he had any employees I feel like didn't he work in the garage wasn't isn't there like a garage that closes at the beginning of the first level like that He's they're coming out of or something Working in there. He might have he might have just that might have just been his rental garage He might have been storing some fucking couches or just his garage garage even for all we know maybe that's yeah Maybe he's got his fucking Maybe he's got his Vespa in there, and he just parked his Vespa and he's like, oh shit. I gotta go get my lady now. Yeah I bet though that whole matter the ones that show up the machine gods and keep shooting you and yet You still can keep getting up and and beating the shit out of them like they're probably like I thought the machine gun would do it Yeah, yeah, that'd be real nice if in real life if you got shot with a machine and you kind of like You like fall back for a second and flash a little and then you get up and start moving again Yep, that's the one that's the one That'd be super handy. We should figure out a way to do that Yeah, we should like yoga or if you maybe if you hot yoga instead of regular yoga is how you learn how to do stuff like that I Was so disappointed to find out that hot yoga is basically just a temperature thing. It's not like Sexy people Yeah, that was sexy's yoga. Yeah, and I I'm like, well, why do we go to normal class when there's hot class, you know, I Hate to see your go, but I love to watch you do the crane So you were like double disappointed and that it wasn't sexy and it was so hot Yeah, yeah, it's like why what what if I wanted to bend over in a sauna? I'd I'd bend over in a sauna and and trust me. I tried that once wasn't a good idea I'm afraid to ask, but what did you think the goat yoga was? No yoga mm-hmm I mean it is what is a son of 10 right? I mean, you know, sometimes a man's got it at the same time. I'm I you know Considering you already had some some you know some some mistaken beliefs about other types of yoga I just want to make sure you didn't think that it was something illegal going on Have you have you tried to so it's a foot leggings on a goat my friend. It is not it is not easy There's harder animals to put leggings on. Oh, yeah top five hardest animals to put leggings on elephant Yeah, that's good. That's good opener. That is that is actually a strong strong opener. Yeah. Yeah, okay I'll buy that elephant's pretty hard to put put yoga pants on for sure for sure Crocodile Okay, yeah, also pretty solid legs and they're biting Yeah, they got that tail that's probably thrashing around because they're they're like I'm trying to get in position and you're trying to worry putting leggings on me Keep trying to put leggings on they keep trying to grab you and pull you under and jam you under a log You can tell you drown see they can come back in each later Yeah, well just like my wife ah Bees cuz I'm like they're they're too small. How do you even I can't find leg warm or small enough and Yeah, and like the effort like destroys their legs their legs aren't sturdy I bet even T. Moo doesn't have leggings yoga pants for for bees. Yeah, and they have everything Hippos because they're one of the most dangerous animals in the world, of course, and And they already like they like to get their legs in like the water or the mud or things to stay cool So if you're trying to put warmers on there, they don't want it You know what's most dangerous about them is that they look like they would love yoga. So you're like, oh, yeah They're probably gonna dig this it's true like I feel like Cartoons would have you believe that they are agile dancers Um that they would like to move their bodies in in ways. They don't they like to move their bodies in a way that they run at you and murder you Up before we go any further with number five I just would like to remind the listening audience that we are not suitkeepers or veterinarians Or really have any experience with with animals in in wildlife Not yeah, not we're certainly not experts Yeah, these these opinions do not necessarily reflect I guess What's that amateur enthusiast zookeepers, I guess I mean, I feel like that's code for something really dodgy, but sure Like anyone who would describe themselves as an amateur enthusiast zookeeper I would generally like back away from like okay See you later man at the bar because you know, they're gonna start talking about lizard people next and they're gonna be like It's the joe biden is a lizard person and then you're off to the races and it's like oh man I'm now caught in a conversation with this fuckhead and I have a pretty full beer And I'm at the bar so I can't really should I spill my beer? Should I just should I fake a seizure? How do I get out of this? How do I get away from this? No one fake a seizure Yeah, that gets you out all kinds of stuff And that's um That's uh, that's not uh appropriation if you're if you're doing it for social good. I don't think No, yeah, if you use it for good instead of evil then it's solely fine Yeah, yeah, okay for the animal for good instead of evil is a okay Any can you can you can you can you close out the the animals and leggings uh series? Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, I I I almost forgot what we were doing there. We're on number five Number five. Okay. Now this one. Um, it's giraffes Because there's like the legs are long Right and you need a legging and you need a lot of it takes a lot of work And again giraffes look like they be problem in a lot of ways Yeah Giraffes look like they could kill you and the legs are a completely opposite end of the spectrum Exactly I think that's a very solid list and once again, we're not an educational podcast, but we're not afraid We are not an accredited education podcast We are yes, we we have passed no state or federal requirements But we can be useful for the teaching of various topics in schools and uh, we Encourage you you have our permission to play these in schools for the education of children of all ages um And we will sell you diplomas like more practical real world stuff sometimes I feel like this school is not preparing these kids for the real world enough And one of these kids are getting the real world and they're asked to put like warmers on it on animals And and they they lead with crocodile or something the kids give like, oh, whoa, whoa I listened to double deuce and i'm not doing that. It's dangerous We're saying we're out here saving lives people we're saving The lives of the generation you haven't even thought about yet because they're not they're not in your demographic most human deaths by crocodile are People that tried to put leg warmers on and don't listen to double deuce. That's the two things they have in in common all of them Literally, I get most people Yeah, people piece of delivery drivers, but first most Putting leggings on crocodiles. It definitely it's not all of them 90 98 percent the other two percent, of course are columbian military Dictators that try to kidnap john while there's a sister to get an expensive jewel Man that that that was that was a deep cut for the for the folks at home. Yep Like it. Yep. We're romancing the stone up in this So if you needed an unaccredited diploma, um, like join our patreon We'll probably start selling them if people ask Yeah, we could put it we can put it an accredited tier on there if you if you want if you need a diploma Yeah, but we have to warn you that it will be absolutely Workless other than the value that you place in it and the value that you can convince others to place in it. We make no Uh, we're not we're not trying to con you here. We're being very upfront. We're trying to teach you Yeah, yeah, our our knowledge can't be accredited We we're a bulwark against misinformation and and naivete Yeah, we bulwark the fuck out of that shit hard hard bulworking Yep No, that's what we call ourselves The bulwarkers bulworking it up bulwark town bulwark america bulwark Yep, it's going well Um, so I was gonna say oh, yeah, I watched uh mr. McMan on Netflix that series about To get back and finish it. I watched the first couple and then I was watching other stuff and I I haven't got back yet It was a surprisingly moving Autobiography of a complete sociopath. Yeah Yeah, and human trafficker technically technically so Yeah Yeah, but I also interesting that like they were kind of starting it before all that crazy shit happened like came out Yes Boy talk about ways to take your take your weaknesses and and make them strengths, huh? They must have been breaking it when they found out and they're like, well, how do we cover this one? Oh, yeah We'll just make it. Uh, we'll just make it like like a second another twist in the show I mean, that's that's the thing that I was interesting situation of you can you can see how A guy like that. You can definitely see the nurture of how you get a guy like that beyond the nature in the like Father Isn't there stepfather is abusive Then he meets the father later and the father is only interested in business and not, you know interpersonal relationships like never never gives him positive feedback until about when he dies Yeah, like that's a real recipe for making a terrible person potentially Not some people can certainly rise above those types of circumstances, but Oh boy I thought it was interesting. I gotta admit I didn't I didn't get into the various eras Like I like pro wrestling as a kid and like the you know I remember Try to watch the wrestle mania is a little bit and like being into hulk Hogan and Andre the giant and playing the pro wrestling game on nintendo with All the fake wrestlers and like, you know, really that being a thing for a little while But I kind of checked out of the whole scene and and I was in England for a lot of like the quote-quote attitude era Where a lot of like we're like, uh, you know the rock and and and uh stone cold Steve Austin and those guys were For wrestlers. So it's kind of funny hearing about that the whole different phases of WWF slash wwe Um As sort of an outsider although I feel like you still knew about a bunch of those dudes because the level that wrestling had attained by then Versus I feel like a lot of the old school wrestlers But yeah, no, I don't think I paid very close attention to anything after the early 90s probably when I would have been like middle school at the Latest and even then I was never huge into wrestling at any point I was interested in it, but I knew a lot of people that were more into wrestling than me certainly But I think the moral of that whole story is don't traffic women Yeah, that's a good world to take out of all sorts of things That's a real takeaway. Uh, we're almost out of time. I call kogan Yeah, boy, boy Man, hulk Hogan is looking out for hulk Hogan true He's also as we I feel like I don't it hadn't come up yet, but as I recall from uh, like leaked stuff but fairly racist if I remember correctly hulk again. Oh wow Had some like recorded conversation stuff with his daughter where he was being kind of racist about uh, you know her spending time with black people Well, I'm going to put that in the category of I didn't hear it in the show, but it doesn't surprise me I mean He was terrible on a number of levels. I don't know that they ever Went in for the races and mangle, but there was enough other stuff that you're like. I mean he wasn't the the The main focus of the of the thing so I can see not getting around to it I believe it was it was post wrestling career and all so Yeah I think you want to really wait wait maybe by that point. I don't know Yeah, yeah Well, we've learned a lot today. Uh, we learned about hot yoga and and animal putting animals in the in the leggings and We learned that you can join our patreon and become a supporter of the work we do every dollar you give to us goes either towards hosting fees or towards drinking, you know, we promise you That that's what we're going to spend your money on And uh, if you like if you like the stories, well, we it's easier to make the stories if we've been drinking So, uh, there you go. There you go. Anything else we learned? um I'm in a A cowboy style hell of my own devising Yeah, yeah, that one was uh, that one was rough. I kind of blocked it out because it was so traumatic Uh, yeah, the only thing that makes it any better is the commanders being good as hell all of a sudden And four and one there you go. That makes me happy Makes me very happy And the bronco somehow being three and two and looking like they could play offense today But that might just be because they were playing the raiders. I don't know I feel like it's really hard to tell how good your team is when they're beating the raiders because the raiders are trash this year Just trash Or trash every year Yeah, but sometimes they can play still I did this year they're particularly rough Particularly rough when I feel like I love gardener men's shoe But when he's your number one quarterback option and not at least your backup You probably have some issues in your you know Your uh personnel It's not a one Unless it comes to being rad I'm glad that you use a red one with a with a bullet Trying to get rad back in the lexicon. It's rad man rad I don't I don't know. I feel like, you know, there's some situations where like it's the it's the most apt uh word choice And I think that gardener men's shoe Is undeniably rad? Oh He's I hope you buy him a sweater that that has that on it. I probably won't but Fair enough maybe some leggings Yeah Yeah, no, yeah, you could easily put leggings on him He's not on the top five NFL players not to put leggings on but you know that you don't want to That's one you'll have to get the patreon modus content for No top five NFL players Yep, that you should put leggings on The number one is Aaron Rogers You have to lie and tell them they're made of ayahuasca Yeah Double deuce Thanks for listening. I don't know how you did, but if you're trying to listen to more we're everywhere libson apple Google stitcher Spotify fucking everywhere. That's right. We're a fine podcast. They're made. We'll be there Also, you can reach out to us on social medias. We're at double deuce pod on twitter We're a double deuce podcast on facebook and our email is double deuce pod at gmail.com Finally, if you want to support us get our patreon on patreon.com backslash double deuce pod Yeah, we got all kinds of stuff on there. We got me talking about things i'm seeing We got extra minis that like the minis you find in the decked deuces We got will singing or if you want to pay for him not to sing there is a way to pay for no singing The world's your oyster all kinds of stuff all kinds of stuff so much stuff. That's patreon.com backslash double deuce pod Yeah Sorry when you're like wherever fine podcasts are found. I just kept thinking about that tom jones beach At the end of grapes to rat. It's like wait, wait, wait. There's a cop beating on a fun podcast. We'll be there Double deuce Good episode Have a good day.
