Today's episode is with Andrea Potvin! She is the co-owner of Moon Co & Wellness. Andrea and her husband, Nick, Founded the company to love in the way they wanted to be loved when they found themselves faced with their infant daughter being diangosed with a chronic illnes. One is an integrative health practitioner and the other is a certified mental health coach. The two of them are a dynamic team, ready and willing to share their gifts. you can find them @ https://moonnco.com/?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaYpsk9vxTybqpjkq9_1LcjbgfX218Mp75b9Uf8p549SGJlN6oyKOp_XfWQ_aem_V-gpBqPfYfIL0lCxenzbgQ, https://moonnco.com/?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAaYpsk9vxTybqpjkq9_1LcjbgfX218Mp75b9Uf8p549SGJlN6oyKOp_XfWQ_aem_V-gpBqPfYfIL0lCxenzbgQ, https://www.threads.net/@moonnco_wellness?xmt=AQGzGcQbbn91pyzEWuVg66qVQgZ1jDlHfJl_Hczvyhg4UuA, https://moonnco.com/podcasts/
Emotionally Unavailable
Episode 70: Moonlight
[MUSIC PLAYING] Welcome to Emotionally Unavailable, the podcast where we dive deep into the world of emotional availability and intimacy. I'm your host, Melissa Hepner. And I can't tell you how excited I am to have you join me on this journey of self-discovery and connection. Whether you're navigating the complexities of relationships or exploring your own emotional landscape, this podcast is here to inspire, empower, and entertain. So get cozy, and let's explore the depths of human emotions together. Hey, guys. Today's episode is with Andrea Potvin. She and her husband have a company together called Moon Co Wellness, well, I think it's Moon Anco Wellness. And she's a certified mental health coach. She's an integrative health practitioner. And they have a really good story that she and I discuss on today's episode. So I'm going to let you know that I was pretty satisfied with the episode overall. So I really didn't give it a thorough edit. So we'll just roll with that. And I hope you guys are doing well. I'm doing really well. And if I get around to creating the little advertisement for my first ever workshop that I'm hosting, you will start to hear that before episodes. But I do want to go ahead and put a mention out there right now. You can find the link to that on any of my socials right now. And I'll probably put-- yeah, I will put the link for tickets in my show notes. They are $25. Don't wait until the new year to start getting your shit together. Let's do it now. Let's focus on ourselves. And we come in our highest self. And I'm really excited about that. So I hope you guys will join me. There will be some giveaways and things like that. So I'm really excited. And I think that is it for this intro. I hope you guys are doing well, like I said. And I love you. I really appreciate you listening. So here's me and Andrea. [MUSIC PLAYING] OK, we've got it. Awesome. You are gorgeous. So to be very real, I was like, who the fuck am I recording with this morning? And so I went and I was like, I don't recognize this name because we didn't communicate with that name, you know? So I went through messages. And I was like, oh, and I got so excited because when I looked at your profile, I was like, oh my god, I needed this today. So I'm so excited because I'm going to let you clarify what I don't know, which is a lot. But what I do know is the exciting part, which is you are into wellness of all kinds. And so I want to give you an opportunity to kind of say whatever you want about how you came to this and your philosophies. However, you want no pressure. It doesn't have to be profound or prophetic. Just whatever you want to say, what is your message with that? OK, perfect. Yeah. And sorry for the confusion on the name. I'm realizing that some stuff still has my maiden name on it and is very confusing to everyone. Oh, big deal. No big deal. So I am an accountant by trade. So I've been an accountant for almost 20 years in the CPA. And so that kind of really has always fit my personality. I'm very risk-adverse and very, I would say, conservative and not very assertive in a lot of ways. And when my daughter was born in 2020, so right in the middle of COVID, she was born. And when she was five months old, she started having some blood in her stool, which was obviously very alarming, being new parents and having this start with our daughter. So she was hospitalized a few times because she had lost too much blood, right? Her hemoglobin, she was very anemic. So for about five months, we did a lot of tests. We did colonoscopy. We did different scans. We ran down allergies. It was awful. They told us it was allergies. So I cut everything out of my diet since I was breastfeeding. And then that didn't work. So we need to try different formulas. And we kind of ran down the path with the doctors. And finally, she was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis at 10 months old. So basically, which I had never even heard of ulcerative colitis. So it's similar to Crohn's, right? It's in the inflammatory bowel disease family. So not IBS, but IBD. So my husband and I were like, I don't even know what this is. I've never even heard of this. So we were surprised at first. We just didn't know what to expect. So we started, in the hospital, I can remember, started Googling natural remedies for ulcerative colitis. I've always had a more natural approach. I don't really like to take Tylenol. If I don't have to, I wouldn't say I'm crunchy, but maybe a little bit. But so I started researching. And right away, I found sites that talked about diet therapy for it. We mentioned this with the doctors, and they were very dismissive of it. They're like, no, that's not going to work for her. We need to start our medication right away. So we were like, OK, whatever, you're the expert. We don't know anything about this. So we went down the route of trying different medications in that realm. There's a sequence of things you do. So we did steroids, because basically her ulcerative colitis means ulcer's inflammation of the colon, right? I mean, it's kind of like you have a cold. What do you actually have? Who knows, right? It's a cold, right? It's like a general diagnosis. So am I wrong? But is this sort of in the autoimmune family? Yes. Yeah, OK, I thought so. I followed somebody with UC for a long time. So OK. Yeah. So that's really how the doctors kind of walk you through it is like your body is attacking itself, which, you know, we'll probably get into it. I'll get into it, you know, my pink, that had a little more. But anyway, we ran down the path of trying the different medications. She was on steroids for a long time to just suppress her immune system, right? The goal is suppressing your system. The body is malfunctioning, right? We need to suppress it. So we tried the different medications. Nothing helped. And all along we were trying to implement the diet therapy. We hired a nutritionist that specializes in it. There are some hospitals like Seattle Children's where they actually offered us therapy. So it isn't so out there, right? Like this is a thing that people do. It's just our doctors were not receptive to it. So we kept trying to implement diet therapy, but she was on all different medications, somewhere like because of her age, right? Their liquids, their flavors, and different fillers to make it so that a one-year-old can take it. And even, you know, we would be very like upfront with them. Can you not do the flavor? And they're like, well, kids like flavor. And I'm like, no, like just no flavoring. We'll talk about the guys with the red dye. So if we did not. Exactly. So, you know, we tried all the things, went down the path, and nothing was working. So we finally, we had seen a second opinion, a third opinion. We had a fourth GI opinion that we found. And he was receptive to diet therapy as a therapy. So we're like, we know we need a GI, right? We're not trying to go around here and just like, you know, give up on medical system. But we raised a strongly that we can do this in another way. So we had some kind of issues with our insurance where it was going to be super costly to get her next treatment. They were denying it. There was all this delay in getting her next dose of this medication that she had just started. So we basically said, can we wait two months? Can you give us two months? It was November. Can we wait until January? Everything resets, if she's not doing better in January, we will absolutely give her the next dose of the medication, but we really want to try the diet fully. And he was receptive to it. And so we did. And once we, we actually ran out of one of her medications, the one that was compounded in liquid flavors. And we panicked, we're like, oh my gosh, we have to get it. It would take a few days. The day she missed it, we started to see some improvement. And we were like, oh my gosh, was this part of the issue? Like, so we finally were able to like strip everything back and implement the diet, which is the specific carbohydrate diet. So it's stages. It's like very easy to digest food at first. And then you can layer things on as you heal. So we started to do it and she started to get better and better and better. So we were, we, at that point, stopped all the medications. We started working with a functional specialist who we did, we ran down tests with her that our traditional doctors just weren't really receptive to, right? Like we came to the table like, can we test for parasites? And they're like, no, you don't need to do that. Can we test for, you know, what if she has like heavy metals in her body or mold? And they're like, no, we don't, it's, it's just this. Just stay on this path. So yeah, just, just go ahead and take the medicine. That's all right. Yeah. Yeah. And that's where, you know, the other option was surgery. And we met with a surgeon at one point because we said, you know, we have to run down all the avenues here. Like they're all telling us, like all the doctors are saying, like she needs surgery. We'll give you one more chance, but she needs surgery. And at a certain point is apparent, right? Or just as a patient in a medical system, you know, specifically in the United States, right? Like, there's also, you feel like there's a point where am I going to be seen as being negligent if I'm not listening to my doctor, right? So there's lots of things to navigate. And I wouldn't be freaking out. This has actually been a huge fear for me. Anytime I'm kind of breaking protocol against one who denies me for one of my children. Because especially like I live in Oklahoma. And here in Oklahoma, for certain, if you go against medical advice and that doctor wants to push the issue, they can call DHS and DHS will come out here and hand that child the medication every day. And if you do anything to prohibit that, you lose that kid. - It's, yeah, it's definitely, there's, it's a tight, you know, a very fine line, right? So, you know, encouraging parents to be negligent. - We're not. - Of course. - Of course. - And we were only on a road that is really uncertain anyway. And those professionals are not offering you any more than what they did. Of course you've got to explore every avenue. - Yeah, right. And that's how we felt. We kept getting other opinions. And most of our doctors were very receptive to it because being diagnosed with this at such a young age, our local team, they were like, we've seen four kids with this. Like we've only seen four. So please, you know, get a doctor that has seen more of this. We want to learn from them. We want to. - Absolutely. He does definitely, it's important too. And we still have great, you know, we haven't had any sour relationships with any of our providers, right? Like it's, it's more of a conversation, but they were receptive to us, you know, seeking other options. But they were very honest of, this isn't a route that we know or that we really can encourage because we just don't know. So we finally found a doctor that was, you know, more receptive to it. And through that, right, she's doing great now. We still have a GI where we moved. - Sure. - And we have a new GI. And she, I don't think she has many patients that use type therapy, if any, right? And so I don't know that she really under, she understands it, right? But she's, she says, I see how she's doing. I'm not going to tell you to change anything, do you? You know, we see her every six months, whereas we were seeing the specialist at least once a week. We were in the hospital with hematologist GI. She was getting infusions in the hospital, blood transfusions. I mean, it was, to see a doctor now, every six months is, it's such a blessing. - Yeah, because what I've been thinking the whole time that you have been talking is how traumatic that is on an infant and her medical trauma is your medical trauma, period. - Absolutely. And that is really where our brand was born from, right? Like when we finally started coming out the other side, - Right. - Her husband and I both were like, you know, obviously we know that she has had trauma with this, right? And I, you know, she was so young that I do hope that a lot of this, right? We talk about it very openly with her, obviously not the details, but like, you know, I don't know how much she'll remember as she grows of some of the very awful things she went through. I think her subconscious probably. - Sure. - Right, he's back. But, you know, we try to make it very like open and talk about it. But my husband and I were both like, I think I'm a little traumatized from this, right? Like emotionally and so stressful. And that's where we really felt like, we need to help others going through this. Like we need to give back because there were some parents that I connected with online and different Facebook groups and through Instagram that actually were like pivotal parts in, you know, us finding a new doctor and getting advice. And so we really felt like we have to help people give them options. So I got certified as an integrative health practitioner. So, you know, the idea is to look at the whole person, right? And see like, are there functional labs that could maybe help? Like I, when we went to our practitioner, I said, I wanna test for mold. I wanna test for heavy metals. I wanna do this, like, can you help us? And then she was like, yep, that all sounds good. Let's do one more test. Like she guided us in the process and we still work with her today. Even though now I'm certified, you know, we've trust her so much. - We are. - And she's been doing this for years and years, right? So we all work with her, actually. But I felt very strongly that I wanted to get certified to really understand more. 'Cause I researched my husband, I bolted, but just I was so, I just went down the rabbit hole, right? There was sometimes when he was like, I think you're losing it. Like maybe the diet isn't going to work. And I'm like, it is, I know it in my heart. Like I just know it. If we can just make it happen. And like through that, I just found my voice and I feel like, okay, like I'm a, you know, I'm very private. We both are. But we were like, we have to just tell our story. We have to just get this out there to people to say, like if you're not feeling like you're getting the answers that you want or you need, or maybe you're being dismissed, right? Your labs look fine, you're, you know, but you don't feel good. So there's something going on. - Yeah, that's fine. Well, and I'm going to, I'm going to ask you too, in just a second, to explain functional medicine because I have followed functional medicine people for a lot of years. So I understand what it is. But what people aren't knowing if they're not hearing this is that sure there's a baseline of labs that you can draw, but there's all these other environmental factors that they're not drawing your blood to see. And if we don't think that half the crap that's happening in our natural system here and our population is affecting our health negatively, well, you just, I mean, I assume that there's just things you don't know. So I really love, but because when you said your labs look fine, I was like, well, I hate everyone, because thyroid is a big one. When you go get your thyroid tech, your labs look fine. Okay, but if you test for these other components, they're showing you what I'm telling you. And I know my symptoms aren't fine, sister. (laughing) And then like other things like us poor women with menopause. I mean, I'm terrified of it because nobody cares. You know what I mean? - Yeah, right. - There are things you can do that don't involve half the crap they're saying. But if you don't go to somebody who's just a little bit holistic and doesn't buy into the medical model, bull on, like for instance, we know that there was a chance that your daughter would have to stay on one of the medications even with this diet miracle, right? Like that happens. We're not saying that diet can cure everything and whatever, but it's not gonna set you up for a much better spot for those medicines to be able to be effective. - Yeah, absolutely. - It's not crazy. It is science. It's just not the science that you are used to seeing. You know what I mean? So if you wouldn't mind explaining what functional medicine is a little bit. - Yeah, so it's really looking at the whole person, right? 'Cause if you go to your general practitioner and you have something going on, they're very good at knowing a little about everything, right? But if you have a specific issue, well, you need to go to a specialist, right? So then you go see your GI specialist and they just only look at this one system within your body, right? So like we had a hematologist that was looking at my daughter's blood and her immunity, but then we had our GI and then, you know, it's like, but they don't talk to each other, right? - I was about to say that. - Even if they're in the same building, right? Like they're all in the same practice. So, you know, the functional or integrative medicine, what looks at your whole person, right? Like what are you experiencing? What are your symptoms? What is your history? What is your lifestyle? What is your environment like? And then really trying to figure out what are the root causes? What's actually going on that's instead of trying to put a band-aid on kind of it, right? Like with my daughter's situation, right? It was like, let's suppress the immune system because it's not functioning. Well, when I learned about this diet, it was, no, there's actually the theory behind the diet, right? The specific one is there's bacteria that has gone overgrown in your GI tract somewhere. You've been exposed to a pathogen or something or your gut is not working the way it should. So things are not getting absorbed the way they should and bacteria gets left behind and it starts to just build up. And what it does, because it is smart, right? It buries itself down into the mucosal layers. You have layers and layers of cells in your GI tract, right? So it buries itself down and does whatever it can to survive. I mean, even if these are simple organisms, they're smart. That's the one job, right? Is to survive. So when I learned about it, I was like, this makes so much sense, but then I had doctors telling me, doesn't matter what she eats as nothing to do with that. And I would have to sit there and eat at me. Like, hello, first of all, even if you just took the word ulcer, okay, just ulcer alone, ulcers do require a certain diet, right? Yeah, yeah, like everything, I do feel strongly that what you put into your body, right? Just for everything, for your mental health, your physical health, everything. So with functional medicine, it's, okay, can we kind of dig in and see what's out of balance here? Because when your body is in balance, a lot of symptoms and issues go away, right? So if your body is out of balance-- You're masking what's actually happening. When you have all these symptoms that are coming from imbalance, you can't get to the root of the issue. Exactly, and masking it, right, is your body's trying to tell you something, right? Like, this, you know, it's the bleeding that she was having was trying to tell us there's something wrong here, right? And we need to heal it. So there's, you know, it's super interesting. I find lab testing extremely interesting, like, you get done, like, at your GP, like, or even at your GI. We would do stool studies and blood work on our daughter. We were doing blood work every week, actually, to make sure she wasn't, you know, her hemoglobin wasn't dropping. But we were doing stool studies, but what we got out of doing, like, a functional stool study was, like, pages of stuff that we never learned through, you know? And so, even though we had even asked, like, we even knew some of the things to ask for, and our doctor was like, "Ah, no, we don't need to test for that." But we were able to just do it ourselves, right, or with the functional practitioner. We were able to see. And some of it was more ruling things out, right? Like, I was like, what if it's mold? What if it's heavy metals? Like, I'm sure people are hearing about that a lot more that seems to be in our food, air, our water. There's all, you know, why is that an issue? Because heavy metals, your body doesn't know how to break them down and they can build up in your system, especially if you're already, you know, dealing with other things, right? If you have a condition where your immunity is compromised, your body can't get rid of things the way it's supposed to. And that's when things build up and cause issues. So, you know, we did testing for that. Thankfully, that didn't come back positive. But then it's like, okay, now we can roll those things out. Okay, so what are the other things that are left that we can try to rebalance? And some of it, going through my program, it was like, oh, just, you know, having a severe magnesium deficiency can cause a host of issues. Having too little zinc in your body, like, not enough sodium, like, you know, it seems to be huge issues. And it's like, I think, you know, our big thing is, one, we wanna help people take back control of their wellness, right, mental and physical. My husband's a headspace certified mental health coach. So that's kind of the other arm of the business is, I'm helping people look at kind of the physical body and then he's helping people work through on the mental side, right? Because, you know, like I said, we came out of this and we're like, we have a lot of trauma and he did a lot of work on his mental health. And I really dug into the physical side and like, you know, that's where kind of he is together. - It still does have effects on mental health, obviously. - Oh, for sure. And I think that's a big issue too, right? You know, you could be having a lot of mental health issues that maybe you're stemming from those same imbalances that are causing your physical illness. - Well, and like the idea that I've been having, so since I've switched careers drastically, I work from home. And so, you know, like it's a pretty inactive place to be. And I'm gaining weight, but it feels like water weight and I'm swollen and whatever. Like I've been talking to my clients and I'm like, I'm probably gonna move my treadmill in my room and start talking during our sessions 'cause I cannot just sitting like this. But when the weight started to creep up, I was like, you know what Melissa, this is your opportunity to finally release yourself from the dumb shit you've done in the past whenever weight started to creep up and it became an issue. And I mean, I've made peace with my body. I fluctuate very, I have a wild fluctuations because I can put on 10 pounds of water in a night. Like I have some circulatory issues right now because of being inactive and I had kidney stuff as a kid, you know, there's all kinds of stuff. And I think, you know, it makes it come out. But I was like, okay, I really wanna approach this from like a place of love and peace for myself. And I am looking at like, I wanna start being healthy. Like it has nothing to do with weight. I wanna be healthy. I don't feel my best right now. Even though like, how much I love my life is making me feel really good. I just know if I were to get this one piece better and I'm not looking for perfection. You know what I mean? One piece better that I'm gonna feel even better. And so I think when you look at the connection between mental and physical health and especially your gut health, and I know I was shocked to hear that when I learned this information like seven years ago, but gosh, even longer than that now, but people are still unaware that like your gut creates most of your serotonin. So if it's not healthy, how happy you think you're gonna be baby? Like not not unhappy. - Yeah, right. And there's a huge connection between your brain and your gut, right? It goes, the communication goes both ways, right? Like the brain sends out communication. Your gut actually sends communication back and that can really affect your mental health too. If your gut is unwell, it just, yeah, causes a huge sense of issues. - Yeah, yeah, for sure. - I love the wellness space when people are so passionate because they know it worked for them. I mean, actually, I just, I love passion. And I love confirmations of, for lack of a better word, divinity kind of like, when your passion is born from a crisis because this was who you were always meant to be. You know what I mean? Like advocate and, you know, this passion and purpose and drive to make the world a better place in the way that you are doing it. You know, I think anybody who moves to an entrepreneur position, well, my hope is, but the people that I've been aligned with recently, I'm seeing, you know, like anyone I have on my podcast has just been so meant to be, you know? And I know that if you can approach wellness of any kind from a place of love for yourself and love for the people around you, dude, it grows and blossoms into this amazing life force of its own. - Yeah, for sure. And I think that's where we really feel strongly about it. Like we've been, you know, it's been a few years in the making that we've been planning the brand and we were so afraid to really just like put it out there. Like we're like, no, we don't want to. I'm afraid. - To the point where we hired a like a mentor, a social media, a branding mentor, and he really helped us like to really get the brand in order and I remember saying to him in one of our first calls, like, I don't know, I'm just really nervous about like putting myself out there. And what he said back just resonated, I think about it all the time. And he said, but just remember that you not telling your story is actually depriving the people that could be benefiting from it. And like I got, you know, it made me emotional. I was just like, yeah, like you're so right because like it's scary. And everyone says that like, you know. - It is scary. - It is scary to put yourself out there. And not everyone's going to support, you know, what we're saying. And that's fine. But the people that will resonate with it and might be going through something similar. We just want to give them options, right? And it's not that the, you know, Western medicine is bad. Like down with that, you know, you still, you know, of course not, but it's really you taking control of your health. Because no one else is going to do it for you. Doctors are, you know, even function, even me right as an integrative practitioner. I don't know you the way you do. So you need to take control of that and be in the driver's seat. And if you're not comfortable with the answers you're getting, keep asking questions. Do your own research so that you can come to the communication and the appointments. You know, I used to bring notebooks with all my little notes in it. Like we had one doctor that was like, oh, do you both work in the medical field? And this was like two years ago. And I was like, no, I'm a CPA and he works in privacy, but like we have really dug into this shit. Like really, you know, we really like try to, you know, and so we're not saying everyone needs to spend hours and hours and we understand that we're very fortunate that we were able to hire people that, you know, aren't covered by insurance, right? And so we're hoping that we can kind of cut out some of that legwork for other people like kind of give them a hug and sound like... - Well, there's a piece of that direction, like go here. Because that you think, well, it's the same reason that you hired a coach, essentially, is because they can take out all the middlemen and be like, oh, but we don't waste your time spending your wheels on that one. You're going to want to do this and they can, you know, give you a plan to start with. And I think it's the exact same thing that I do as a therapist, everybody that leaves my first session, and I mean, I guess I used to be like weird about saying stuff like this, but every single person leaves different than I met them. That first session, hope and direction. Those are life changing. - Yeah, that's huge. - Those are life changing and that's what I give them. Now, what they do with the information that I give them is up to them, but I mean, that's where my gift is, that I'm able to deliver information and communicate to people in a way that is so real to them and authentic and aligned and what kept standing out to me when you were talking about being kind of like pushed away. And then what you were just talking about is I'm like, what happened too, is that you finally let your intuition be louder than the doctors. - Because I think that's the big work that I do with most people and that is what I talk a lot about on my podcast is we learn to silence our intuition as children when we're criticized when we are emotionally neglected and left to figure stuff out for ourselves. We just do things to the service of others to our own demise and we learn to shut down any sort of intuition, any sort of understanding of self we live for others. So when you start to build this part of yourself up and you become a full person in your own knowing and lack of knowledge too, like being able to say, I'm not for everyone and I'm not gonna be like some miracle worker, but I'm good at this. Like I'm really good at this and I can help you if you want the help. I think that's all part of it and learning to listen to your own voice, man, you did that and look where you are. - Yeah, and I still follow a lot of groups that are people, parents or people that have lived with IBT for years and I listen to a lot of podcasts and I'll hear people say, like if it's, you know, especially if there's something about diet, I always try to listen and, you know, I listened to one recently where the host of the show was like, I've had this for 20 years and no one has ever mentioned this diet to me. And that makes me wanna just scream and cry at the same time because it's like, I have seen how this can be so powerful and it makes me so, I don't wanna say angry but sad that like someone who maybe could have benefited from this 20 years ago, this diet that we're using, the SCD was developed a hundred years ago. Like why are they not talking about it? I don't understand that, you know? - The food industry has profited off of our illness. - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, it's all a part of it. And that's why so many traditional medical models really do profit off keeping people sick. - Yeah, and I do feel like, you know, that's why our big thing is pay back control, right? Be aware, right? It's not to scare people, but, you know, like you said, we are exposed to so many toxins in chemicals and stuff that our body doesn't know how to deal with, right? And it's constant, it's in our food, it's in our water, it's in our air, it's in the products we put on our skin, it's the products we put on our kids, right? And it's like, a lot of this is getting more attention in the media, right? But this isn't really a new issue. But-- - Yeah, you know, to that point, I think it's important to say like, we also understand if your budget doesn't allow for all organic and all clean and all of that. So I have to be very aware of what the effects of not doing any of that has on me as a human. Because in the way that we're not evolving fast enough to keep up with technology, and that's why we're seeing a lot of the neurological dysfunctions, in my opinion, we're not, we weren't, we were never able to conceive the world that humans live in now. Our brain has had to develop and move so quickly to keep up with the evolution. Things are gonna get messed up. But this diet that's been here for a hundred years or whatever, it's, you don't have to do it perfectly for it to have this beautiful benefit for you. - Well, yeah, and I think that's another issue that I have or just a big mantra that we have is like, wellness has gotten so complicated, right? And I fall into it sometimes. So I'm like, oh, I read about this new device and like we definitely need it. And my husband would be like, the internet do we, like, do we? I'm like, I don't probably not. 'Cause like, you know, it is, like, it's gotten, it's gotten so complicated. And so it's like, we try to really break things down in a manageable way. Like, okay, like your water might have some contaminants in it. Okay, you can't afford a full house reverse osmosis, you know, water system. Like, I don't have that either right now, right? But like, here's something you can do. Here's a filter that's better than your tap water, better than a, better than a Brita filter, gets rid of a lot of stuff and it's affordable, right? So that's our big thing is, like I said, we were great, you know, we were lucky enough to be able to hire the coaches, invest in things that, I mean, you know, we had the, our jobs, we work for most. So we, our jobs are very, like, we're understanding when we had to call insurance companies or be out of work for an appointment. And, you know, we were able, and some people don't have that, right? So some people do not have flexibility to go meet with three hours to go meet with a new doctor. So we totally get that and our goal is to make it more, you know, accessible and obtainable for people because even the first time we went and met with our functional provider, you know, over two years ago, like we came home with a laundry list of stuff that would be helpful. And I was like, oh, this is like a lot of stuff, but over two years now we've implemented almost all the things that she recommended, right? So it's like, but it took two years, you know? - We just start from a place of harm reduction, you know? - Exactly. - Exactly. - If you, if you apply less cigarette, if you can take one less drink of alcohol, if you can, you know, like do little small, like I was just telling my husband this morning, I was like, all right. I used to make these smoothies that were just so good. Like I'd go like collagen and some other stuff. And I loved cayenne, you know, I put cayenne in there with berries and whatever. And I used to have two a day, like in the morning and before bed. And I was like, I'm just talking about implementing more of that and more bed and walking. Wait for the week, you know, I'm like, I give shit about drastic change anymore. I just want to start implementing the good habits again and maybe more variety in my diet, you know? Like things like that, but I have serious gut issues. Like I know I'm very imbalanced. So that's when you feel that everywhere when my stomach is off, like I can't even differentiate between some weird pain and hunger anymore. I'm like, is it, I don't know what it's supposed to feel like when I'm hungry, you know? Like I really, like I'm freaking next to him this morning because I've learned that like so much of this feeling is just acid production. But I don't know what this feeling is, you know? Like I just, it's trial and error. You take something and you see, does that eliminate this symptom? But what can do a lot is just really small shifts. And I think I'm so drawn to that theory anyway, just because I think that's what I do too. It's like, hey, you don't have to make all the changes at once. You just got to know there's a direction. And yeah, I hope that you can follow this direction. But other than that, it's all going to unfold and it's going to be okay. - Yeah, no, for sure. And I think, you know, making those small changes can have a big effect, right? And like, you know, I was like, oh, I did some hormone testing. And I was like, oh, my hormones are clearly all out of whack. It's probably something awful. It's so, you know, I would get like a blood sugar drop. Like if I had eaten and I was like, oh, this is really bad. I have brothers who have had juvenile diabetes. So I'm like, oh, my gosh. And then I did the blood, you know, I did the blood work. And my hormones actually were okay, but my like hemoglobin, my A1C and my blood sugar level was like off the charts low. And so I like talked through it with another coach and they were like, well, are you eating enough protein? Like, I have no idea. I don't track like any of my intake like that. And I thought about it and I was like, there's no way I'm eating enough protein. Like, and so I started tracking it and actually like prioritizing it. And I don't have that feeling anymore. And if I do, I realize, oh, I didn't have my smoothie this morning, because I just did it every morning too. I didn't have my, you know, protein, pancakes or whatever. Like, I noticed like, oh, I had a really light dinner. Like, I know. And but it's like, you go to this worst case scenario. And obviously some people, they are in the orange mirror, right? But I think that there are people where it's like, are there small shifts that you could do to actually feel a lot better, right? And, you know, in today's day and age, it's like, well, it can't be that simple. It's clearly something I need either surgery or medication for. It's like, well, no, maybe you just need more protein, right? Or give your stomach more time to digest between meals. I snack all the time and I listen to a podcast and they're like, you should be giving yourself at least two to three hours between your meals because your body to actually do the whole process takes 90 to 120 minutes. Or just to kind of push the food through your system. And so if you're constantly eating, you're disrupting that process 'cause then it stops, right? So I've been implementing that. I was like, I'll set a timer. Like, okay, I had breakfast, wait three hours and I noticed, oh, I don't feel quite as bloated at the end of the day because I'm giving my body kind of time, you know? Yeah. That's why I think that all I'm so bloated is because of digestion issues. So I'm seeing that throughout my whole body, like on my arm, it's not like crazy, but like I'm sure some of it's real weight, but like they're puffy. Everything is so puffy, my face. Like my face at night after all day of water doesn't look this puppy. But like, yes, I'm so informed from the lack of movement in my gut doesn't like that either. Like it hates the reactive. So I know that, but I'm no longer looking at things black and white. So I'm like, okay, just small shifts, Melissa. Like small shifts and do it from a place of love for yourself, not spite, not hatred, not anything. Just like you want longevity and you want to feel your very best. It's better than now. Yeah, and that's why I think it's important to dig in and like, you know, take that control for yourself because, you know, you meet with a doctor for maybe 20 minutes or something and like, but you're with yourself for all those other minutes of the day, right in the week, the month. And like, so you know yourself better and what works for me might not work for you. What works for you might not work for someone else. So it's really individualized, you know, giving you the control of, okay, I can help you look and see and depending on what's out of balance, I can recommend the lifestyle diet or supplement changes, right? I know some people are like, oh, supplements. It's this big crazy thing that's unregulated and dangerous. It's like, I know there are aspects of it, but giving your body what it needs temporarily until it gets in a better place, I think can be a huge thing, right? And so I do think that it can be super helpful. If you have, it's hard to get enough of things through our diet today, right? Like maybe 50 years ago, it was different, but there's a lot of the farming, especially in the United States, right? Our soil has been found to be very depleted of minerals, much more than it was 30, 40, 50 years ago. So what you're getting, even though you might be eating all healthy, even organic, right? The nutrients in it are not as prevalent as they used to be. So, you know, you're already behind the eight ball, right? So it's like, I think, like looking at how you can kind of like rebalance yourself and give yourself time. - Well, I think that's a functional test so important too. So that you can see what you specifically are dealing with. What nutrients are you lacking? - And it gives you the info, right? Some people are very skeptical or not sure. Well, you know, let's see, when you see it in black and white and when you see your data, it's hard to really dispute it, right? Or to, you know, then it can maybe like click of like, "Oh, okay, I get it." Like I need, you know, to make some changes, right? And I think a lot of us today, a lot of it is even our nervous system, right? Of like, we're in fight or flight all this time. Like 200 years ago, you were in fight or flight because it was like survival. Like you actually were, you know, fighting for your life. For today, you know, you're running late for work. You're stressed out about a meeting. You know, someone's sick or you're having a fight. Like you're reading social media, which can be very stressful, right? I mean, even in general, right? Their goal is to keep you engaged. And a lot of that is, I think, you know, not always positive news. They were negative or fearful. So I feel like we're, you know, constantly in fight or flight, which means your body's like, you know, primal instincts and their functions are suppressed, right? Your digestion shuts off if you're in fight or flight. Okay, if you're in fight or flight for 10 hours a day while you're at work, your digestion's going to be completely screwed up, right? And like that's one reason, but, you know, it has a whole cascading effect on your whole health. So simple things like walking outside, I've started to do a lot more walking in nature. Like I used to do Peloton like six, five days a week. I'm like, how much can I get in? And now I haven't even gotten on my bike in like a month because I'm focusing so much more on like, is that really doing what I want it to? Or is it just stressing my body out? Sometimes it's, you know, for me, I'm like walking and where I live is very hilly. So even walking is like quite a workout, but walking strength more than cardio and just like trying to have anchors in my day of calmness, right, to tell your body you're safe. Everything's fine, do what you need to do. Clean me, detox, clean me up, digest my food, which has a cascading effect on your health, right? So it's not always like, here's the list of 10 things you need to go by and the six labs you need to do 'cause labs can be expensive, right? Supplements can be expensive, some of the protocols can be costly and time, you know, it takes a lot of time, but there are foundational things that you could do today, right, that can help you to move towards that and kind of try to optimize your body, right? So it's super interesting. You know, I, you know, our daughter is doing, she was like my first, you know, little patient and sometimes I'm like, I'm not sure if I'm, you know, can do this. And my husband's like, do you remember your first patient? Like she was a year old and wasn't growing and was super sick. And, you know, so it's just, it's amazing to see when you kind of, like you said, a lot of people that come into this field because they've been through, you know, some sort of trauma or episode where, you know, they had to kind of do this to survive, right? Yes. - Yeah, absolutely. But I think that's what gives us that authority. Like, you're not saying you know more, you're not saying you know anything other than what you know to be true. It's not the only truth, but it is a truth and a truth that not a lot of people are hearing about right now. - Mm-hmm, so that's what you have to do. You gotta make your voice heard. I mean, that's what I'm doing, you know? And I love that you're able to do this with your husband. I did, okay, so you kind of maybe answered this, but I wondered, do you guys encourage your clients to go to their functional practitioner to do the labs or do you have some of those Dutch tests or like, how do you do it? - I can order functional labs myself through the certification that I have, so, but sometimes it might be easier, more cost effective if there are a test that can be done through your doctor, you know, that's a conversation to have too of like, maybe go get this blood work done and ask for these certain things, right? Because you can kind of do that this way. And then for some of the other functional labs, I'm able to order them and then, you know, review them with the patient or the client. So if you live where you live and I live where I live, and you were my practitioner, how would the labs work? - I order online and have it sent to you, you complete it, send it to the lab, and then the results will come to me. - Okay, so it's like spit and stool type stuff, it's not blood, okay? - There is, there are some blood, like the hormone test has blood, so it's like a dried blood, it's not a large blood draw. I think for some of, there are ways to do some of those at home, but I would recommend someone go get them done. You know, here's the things that you should have done, go get them done with the lab, and then we can look at them together. - Yeah, well, I love this for you. Like I said, this is, you know, for me, all of this is like mental health, wellness, like all of it does just go hand in hand, but also just this principle of like becoming your own hero, and like I said, listening to your own intuition, advocating for yourself, standing in your power. I mean, that's what I'm teaching people to do, that's what you're teaching people to do, because, you know, what the older generations did is viewed, and I understand that the system was set up this way, but they really viewed doctors as gods, and those doctors viewed themselves as gods, and some of that's been passed down. I still see it every day. Some people are just super cool, and they just get it, and they are not here for their ego, but if a doctor is telling you that your diet doesn't matter, your doctor's full of ego, 'cause your diet rules all, everything. No matter what medications you have to be on, your diet has to be in check if you've got a serious health issue, period, period, period, period. Now, I'm not saying it might be the first to go be really strict on my diet, if I was forced to be, I don't know what I would do, but I couldn't blame it on anything else, but it didn't, you know, I mean, diet matter. - It's definitely difficult, like with our daughter, we were at an advantage where we were, you know, still today, right, she's four, we're still almost 100% in control of what she eats. They, her school, actually, this was a big thing, but they actually cook her food, and this is the first school we've been able to actually, like, grasp them, and they are so on top of its amazing. But when she was first starting the diet, right, like, we were 100% in control, we pulled her out of daycare, we kind of just, you know, made do, 'cause we're like, we have to just take this and do it, and we were able to do that because we could give her two different kinds of food, and she was, oh, she didn't love it, right, but she dealt with it, right, whereas if you're doing this as an adult, you know, it's like, even doing an elimination diet, right, 'cause it's harder to implement than you think, but I think it can really have, you know, I've had conversations with people, like, okay, I think you need to do, like, a three-week elimination, and then add in everything, one, you know, one at a time, and see what's bothering you, 'cause it could be something that's healthy. My husband was having some gut issues and things, and we, like, one day, we're like, oh, he had a bad reaction to something with almonds in it, and we're like, is it the almonds? And we're like, we put almond milk in our smoothies every single morning, like, if it is that, like, you eat a lot of almonds, but you think, well, almonds are, unless you have an almond allergy, obviously, right, people are like, oh, almonds are healthy, eat more. So, it's like, it could be something you're eating that's like, you eat every day, and it's a, you know, healthy food, and it is a healthy food, but maybe just not for you, right, or not for you right now, if your gut is impaired. So, like, we've, you know, stripped back all almonds for him, and we've slowly now started to reintroduce them, and he doesn't seem to have a big issue. So, it's like, the only, that's what we've learned is, like, with diet, like, unfortunately, there's not a, like, okay, whatever you want, it'll be fine, it's like, you kind of do need to peel it all back, right, and there are tests you can do for food sensitivity testing that can kind of show what you're reacting to the most, but the problem is sometimes you're reacting to it the most 'cause you have underlying gut issues, so, like, you need to remove the food, fix the gut, try it again, right? So, it's a process, and I think today, you know, we see on TV and sometimes we're told, like, oh, just, you know, you can get a quick fix, just take a medication, or it's a quick thing, it's like, well, healing takes time, like, you didn't feel ill overnight, right, like, this was probably brewing for months or maybe years, so a lot of these conditions, so, like, the expectation that you're going to feel better in a day, a week, even a month, like, there's different things you can do that take months, maybe a year or more, to just really get yourself back into balance, and that can be a hard thing for people to commit to, right? So, you know, it's, you have to kind of find the people that are willing and ready to do the changes, right, because not everyone is, but our hope is, you know, we'll share enough info on social media, we have a podcast too, and, like, just kind of get that information out there to get you thinking, right, like, the wheels turning, and maybe try, you know, one thing you said this week, and another thing, and then over time, it's like, oh, I'm feeling better, maybe, you know, I should do that, you know, elimination diet at this point, and really, like, you know, like, I was talking to my mom about it, and she has a lot of inflammation, and I was like, just three weeks, just cut out all this stuff for three weeks, she's like, oh no, I couldn't do that, I was like, okay, I mean, you can or you can't, right, but I think you might feel better in the long run if you can make that change now, and I'm definitely not perfect, right, like, I'm still dealing with different gut things too, right, like, it's a process, I'm not saying that I'm perfect, I know everything, right, it's like, I'm still evolving, we're still trial and error, and things with our daughter, but, you know, she's, if you look to her, up against her classmates, that you could, would have no idea that she was so sick for so long, right, so, it's just... - So glad to be good. - Yeah, she just grew out of some of her pajamas, and my husband was picking up, because I was like, so like, almost emotional, and like, she's growing, she like needs new, like, we celebrate every little thing like that with her, because she didn't grow from age one to age two, she was literally the same weight, and, you know, she was off the growth chart, like, so now she was like, on the growth chart, doing great, so, you know, I just, I hope other people that are going through something like this, which I know a lot of people are, like, can just, because there is, you know, there are other options out there, and I think the more you know, right, the better that you're, you know, how you can feel. - And I think, like I said, I think this can give people direction and hope, which we're all needing to know. - Yeah. - And all you have to do is just say, well, maybe it's something that the people in my circle just don't know about, I just need to go look somewhere else, and I think those are the people who find both of us, when they've just hit the end of the road, and they don't know what to do, and that's what we do. We just give you a little hope and direction, and-- - Yeah, I love that, yeah. - No, it'll be okay, and I'm so glad for you. I'm so glad that now, like, I'm sure that so much of your life is so much more aligned and authentic than it ever was, like, full-time CPA. You know what I mean? Like, thank you for that. - Thank you, yeah. - Thank you for your truth now, and that makes me really happy for you, and like, I'm sure this has really changed your relationship with your husband. But like, I'm just, I love that I get to have these kind of conversations and see how people are pursuing themselves, 'cause that makes me so happy, you know? - Yeah, no, it is super exciting, and I do think that it's like having a built-in, you know, business partner that's my husband, right? Like, is, you know, is great. Like, it is nice to have that support system, but also, you know, that connection, so, yeah, it's-- And, you know, we've been through so much with our daughter that, you know, although it was so hard at the time, right? Like, we came out of it, and we're like, okay, there's a reason this happened, or a reason that she's our daughter, that she went through this, that we all went through this, right? And that, you know, we don't wanna waste that, you know, on, you know, not wanting to put ourselves out there, because it's scary, right? - Right, well, the privacy and the scared to speak up, all of that is just old childhood, well, you know, STEM and childhood, but it's just a shame narratives that we've carried our whole lives, you know, and then you can just strip away morality and emotion and just stand right before yourself. It's like, well, what am I actually scared? Oh, I'm scared, people are gonna make fun of me, I'm scared people who criticize me. Okay, that's gonna happen, and-- - You'll get through it. - And, yeah, I mean, I do it all the time, where I'm like, uh-uh, no, we do not care. I mean, we're human, like, it's okay to say, sometimes I feel nervous, sometimes I feel embarrassed, sometimes I feel scared, but like, of what? People who are really unhealed, and that's the only people who talk shit like that anyway? Like, you can disagree as medical professionals, you can disagree as humans, but nobody doing better than you is talking shit. - Yeah, I just read a quote like that the other day, it was like, the people that are, yeah, talking against you, like, no one that's doing more than you are is doing that, right? Like, yeah, like the people that are out there doing it, yeah, they don't have time to do it. - No, they don't, I mean, I'm so busy, and, but I mean, I just think about, like, you know, I was talking to someone the other day because my relationships have really changed since, you know, starting a new life, and it's tricky because I like it, and I don't, I didn't know how to connect with people before, because I was emotionally unavailable, so like, the only way we connected was talking shit, you know, complaining about our job, complaining about the people we work with, complaining, complaining, complaining, complaining. I don't think there's anything wrong with voicing things. You can vent, you can whatever, but I was living in complaint land, and I did not know how to connect with people, aside from giving really good advice, like I was always really good at that, but like, that's not connection. I'm fixing you, so I don't have to address me, and I'm talking shit about them because I don't wanna address the fact that it actually hurt, like, you know? - Yeah, for sure. - Sitting in a feeling, I'm just gonna start blaming the world around me for my dissatisfaction, but now I'm like, just really careful about who I let in my energy, because I don't wanna come back down here. I am up here, it is a different level, and I'm pursuing myself first, period, and whatever relationships change, because of that, that's just what was meant to happen, because I'm happy, you know? Like, it's hard to be an unhappy person if you're not sitting around talking shit, nonstop, not having a bunch of negative stuff about yourself, not caring what everyone thinks, 'cause that was a really big struggle for a lot of years for me, was what will people think? And even just recently, now I'm just like, well, they'll think that, you know, whatever they think, and eventually, they'll be asking you how you did it. Like, that's just-- - Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, and I think the energy you put out, you know, is what you receive, right? And Vanessa and I talk about that a lot, and mine stays huge with healing, right? And, you know, I was just reading a book about it, and I was saying, it's been, you know, in studies, it's been proven that, you know, your mindset affects your healing process. You know, people that are given a placebo, the benefits, you know, they see increase, and the doctors just say, or the scientists just say, like, oh, that's just coincidence, and write it off, but it is your brain releases hormones based on your beliefs. And if you believe something's going to be, it will, right? And, you know, my daughter, like, when I would put her in bed at night, I would tell her when she was really sick, I would tell her every night, you are healing, you are, your belly is healing, you're growing, and every night, I would say it to her, and, you know, probably was like, mom, you're crazy, but like, I know you know, I love that. It's so important if you, you know, I see some of the groups where people are dealing with autoimmune or chronic issues, right? Or you see, like, my daughter has, and they're like, no, like, I have to do this forever. I will never, you know, I can never not be on medication. Like, and the medications do help a lot of people feel better, but I just want people to know, like, there are other options if you're open-minded, and if you tell yourself, I need medication for the rest of my life, you probably will, right? Like, like, there's not really, you're not going to move towards not needing it if you're telling yourself every day you do, and some people will do need medication every day for the rest of your life. - Absolutely. - That's what I'm saying. - I do think that having that mindset and that positive mindset that you will heal, that you can heal, right? You don't always get- - We can get our own relationship- - That's the thought. - Exactly. - What you believe to be true is the truth, relative to anything else. Like, it's- - Right. - I keep calling myself delusional, you know, 'cause I'm like, I don't care. I'm full on fucking delusional now. Like, I'm bought into, like, this face, and what I'm doing, and where I'm going, and whatever, and I'm just waiting for checks, you know what I mean? Like, it's just- - Yeah. - And I mean, I'm happy, who cares? Like, you know, like, I'm in my little world up here that has created such beauty, and, you know, I'm not talking shit, so what a, we're good, we're good. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think that's how- - I've really been preaching as you create your own reality, man. - Yeah, for sure, and I think that's super important and to just, yeah, your mindset. That's like, oh, free thing, right? That you can- - Yeah, yeah. - To, you know, like, I noticed a couple of weeks ago, I felt like I was just, like, in, like, a funk, and just, like, feeling not bad for myself. You're just like, oh, I want this, I wish I had that. Why don't I have this? And I started doing, every day, a 10-minute gratitude meditation, and it's just like- - Yeah. - I'm gonna do this 10 minutes, and it's a guided meditation I do through Peloton app. My husband, you know, is much more of a meditation, you know, person than I am, but I would do it every day, and I was like, you know what? This is making me feel so much better. It's like- - Yeah. - You're always worried about the future. - How you try to- - This is over, man. Like, put yourself in the position. It's over, you've gotten everything you've wanted. How does that feel? And that's where I try to stay at all times. - Well, thank you so much. It was so- - Yes. - Meet you and talk. - Absolutely, thank you for coming on. I've loved this information. - Great, thank you so much. - Absolutely, thank you. - Have a great rest of you. - Thank you. - You too. - Bye. (upbeat music) ♪ Emotionally on a visible ♪ - Hey, hey, hey, what do you say? Listen, first and foremost, please make sure that you have provided this podcast with a five-star rating on whichever platform that you are listening. If you want to support the show, please rate, like, and share. Also like, comment, and share on any social media posts that you see for me on Instagram or Facebook or TikTok. Please follow the podcast Facebook, emotionally unavailable podcast. You can shop my foot online, store, or schedule a one-on-one with me, emotionallyunavailablepodcast.org. I'm offering what I'm calling non-traditional counseling, astrology readings, and tarot readings. And thank you so much for listening to the emotionally unavailable podcast. (upbeat music) ♪ Emotionally unavailable ♪ - Have you ever heard of the Winter Arc? It is where you get your shit together before the New Year instead of waiting until the New Year's over. So let's do that together. You can begin by joining me at my workshop, November 9th, 2024. It is a Saturday for this first event so that I could give a lot of people an opportunity before Thanksgiving, before Christmas, before the New Year of beginning to work on becoming your most authentic self, your most aligned self, you're the best highest version of yourself. It's possible, guys, so join me. You can find the link anywhere on any of my socials. You can search Eventbrite for finding your compass, becoming aligned with your most authentic self, and the link is also in the show notes. Thank you, I hope to see you there. Hey, hope you liked that episode. With me and Andrea, again, check out the show notes for the link to my first ever workshop. Finding your compass. Be coming aligned with your most authentic self. I love you guys. I thank you so much for everything. And until next time, let's all just keep swimming. (upbeat music) ♪ The only visible ♪ - I-N-D-E-P-E and Cut.