The Season of Self Love
Finding Joy Through Simplicity: A Conversation with Dr. Angelo Valenti
In this insightful episode of The Season of Self-Love, Nyomi Banks welcomes special guest Dr. Angelo Valente, a renowned psychologist, consultant, and author of You're Making This Way Too Hard. Together, they dive deep into the act of balancing life and finding joy through simplicity. Dr. Valenti shares strategies for simplifying life, managing stress, and focusing on what truly brings happiness.
This conversation explores the misconceptions about success, the importance of self-love, and how small, mindful changes can transform your life. Dr. Valenti also touches on the power of saying "no," removing toxic relationships, and finding peace within yourself—key lessons from his best-selling book.
Plus, Nyomi leads a calming guided meditation to help center you before the conversation, and the episode is filled with valuable tips for balancing mental, emotional, and professional demands.Key Takeaways:
- The role of mindfulness and self-care in balancing life
- How to simplify your life for more joy and less stress
- Why loving yourself first is essential for long-term happiness
- Tips for making decisions that align with your personal values
- Practical advice for managing financial stress and focusing on what matters
Listen now and discover practical ways to enjoy life and balance your everyday demands!
Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-season-of-self-love--6003379/support.
- Broadcast on:
- 08 Oct 2024
- Audio Format:
- other
I'm Victoria Cash, thanks for calling the Lucky Land Hotline. If you feel like you do the same thing every day, press 1. If you're ready to have some serious fun, for the chance to redeem some serious prizes, press 2. We heard you loud and clear, so go to luckylandslots.com right now and play over a hundred social casino-style games for free. Get lucky today at luckylandslots.com. No purchase necessary, VGW Group void prohibited by law, 18 plus terms of condition supply. Ever wonder what makes Panda so special? Join us on Amazing Wildlife to find out. Giant pandas and their habitat are unique and beautiful and extraordinary representation of the natural world, and if you get that opportunity to sit and watch a panda eat bamboo, you will be mesmerized. Listen to Amazing Wildlife on America's number one podcast network. iHeart, open your free iHeart app and search Amazing Wildlife and start listening. Welcome to the Season of Stuff Love podcast. I am your host Naomi Banks and I am thrilled to have you join me on this transformative journey. You see, every day we dive into a powerful conversation about sub-discovery, healing and empowerment. This podcast is brought to you by Acts Naomi, an Elevate Me self-discovery, where we believe that loving yourself is the first step to living a fulfilling life. You can expect insightful discussions, practical tips and inspiring stories, plus we occasionally welcome special guests who will share their unique perspectives on self-love and personal. So get comfy, grab your favorite beverage, and less embark on this journey together, because it's time to embrace the beautiful person that you love. So let's elevate our lives one episode of time. Now let's get started. All right, well welcome back to the Season of Stuff Love podcast. I am your host Naomi Banks and I am here to guide you through another journey into self-discovery and mental health. Today we are exploring the act of balancing life and how we can make enjoying life a little easier and a little more joyful. But today I am so thrilled to introduce a very special guest that's Dr. Angela Belente, a renowned consultant, psychologist and author of You're Making This Way Too Hard. Dr. Belente has dedicated his career to helping individuals and organizations thrive by simplifying the complexities of life. But before we dive into that, let's take a quick break before we bring the doctor on, all right. It's your girl. You got us. Let me bring you all the Season of Stuff Love podcast and we'll be right. Exciting you, everyone. Naomi Banks, your favorite transitional life and relationship coach and the inspiring host of The Season of Self-Love podcast, has just released another incredible resource for your personal growth journey in producing her latest transformational ebook and workbook, Balancing Life. A guide to harmonize it, your life. This 50 page guide is designed to help you navigate the complexities of life, bringing balance and harmony into your everyday experience. Perfectly paired with our amazing new series for this month, The Act of Balancing Life. This workbook is packed with practical exercises, insightful prompts and valuable tools to empower you on your path to self-discovery and fulfillment. Don't miss out on this opportunity to invest in yourself and enhance. Your journey toward a balanced life. Balancing Act is available now. Grab your copy today and step into a world of harmony and self-love. Are you ready to embark on a journey toward harmony and balance? Join us for our exciting new challenge, the 21 Days Living Balance Challenge on the Season of Self-Love podcast, as part of our monthly series, The Act of Balancing Life. This challenge will guide you through daily practices designed to help you harmonize your mind, body and spirit, whether you're juggling work, relationships or self-care. We're here to support you every step of the way. Don't wait sign up now to take part in this transformative experience starting October 1st. Together, we'll build a community of balance. Seekers ready to embrace joy and self-discovery. Visit our website or click the link in our bio to join the challenge today. Let's find our balance together. "What are some common barriers that prevent people from exploring?" Hey, it's your girl. You got us, Nami Banks, here from the Season of Self-Love Podcast. Yeah, I would say remorse. So, shaming guilt is a very divided emotional. And these are one of the many amazing conversations that we have every day, Monday through Friday, right here on the Season of Self-Love Podcast. With myself, now, and we bank as well as our resident therapist, Dr. Will Washington Up, Washington Wellness Institute. Come by. The reality of our relationship. Come by. A lot of times, we're afraid of how people look at us. And so that compassion can't answer us. You can hit us over at the Season of Self-Love Podcast.com. How do we get to this? With the true words. Is it the... All right, welcome back. It's your girl. You got us, Nami Banks here on the Season of Self-Love Podcast. And today, we're talking about finding your easy way to enjoy life. And I'm so thrilled to introduce a very special guest, Dr. Angelo Valente. And I hope I understand his name, right? I'll bush up everyone's name. You did a good job. Thank you. It's just fine. Thank you. It was so funny because I know we did a little quick talking. In the beginning, before we went live, and I just kept saying your name over and over in my head. And once I pushed the intro, then I said, "Oh, I just forgot how to pronounce it." You did fine. Believe me. My name has been butchered for my whole life, basically. Well, again, thank you. And welcome to the Season of Self-Love. I'm your book. You're making this hard way too hard. I love that title, and I cannot wait till we get more in detail of this book, all right? But before then, can we take a quick moment right now and just take, you know, so we can center ourselves before we get into topic, okay? Sure. All right, thank you. Take a deep breath in and hold it. And slowly exhale. With each breath, I want you to feel any tension melting away. I want you to imagine a wave or calm spreading from the crown of your head down to your toes. And as you breathe in, I want you to think about peace. Peace. And as you breathe out, I want you to release what doesn't serve you. I want you to take a nice breathe in again through your nose. Exhale with your mouth, out your mouth. And I want you to whisper to yourself, "I am worthy of joyful life." Let this affirmation feel you with warmth and belief in your power to find balance and happiness. Breathe one more time and deep breath out. Now open your eyes and bring you back to the present moment. All right, thank you for joining me in that moment. If you're new here to the season, the Sethla podcast is something that we do every day, Monday through Friday, just to help center ourselves before we get into topic today. Again, we're going to welcome Dr. Valenti. He's so wonderful to have you here with us today. Oh, it's my pleasure. I'm really excited to be here. And I got to tell you, the meditation moment was wonderful. I kind of do that in my own mind every morning. But to hear it verbally, it really is nice. Thank you. Thank you. In a good spot right now. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Sometimes we need that. What to start off, could you share a little bit about your journey and what led you to write your book? Sure. My journey, like most people's journey, was not a straight line from where I started to where I am now. I grew up in Cleveland, Ohio. I went to Case Western Reserve University, got a bachelor's degree in psychology. And that was 1971. Yeah, oh, I'm old. Yeah. And with an undergraduate degree in psychology, about the only thing that makes that degree worthwhile is if you go to graduate school. So I went to graduate school at the University of Georgia, got a master's degree and a PhD. And that was one of really my first experience with culture shock. Because Cleveland, Ohio and Athens, Georgia could not be more different. Yeah. But I discovered very quickly that I enjoy the lifestyle of the south and the weather. And the level of politeness, I don't know where you're located, but I just think people at that time, and I think still today, are more polite. They are in the south than people are in the north. Yeah. And I can say that because I live both places. And I travel all over the place. So got my PhD at Georgia and then taught college at Oklahoma City University for four years. I taught psychology and I was chairman of the psych department there for a few years. And in the late 70s, the economy was not, it was worse than it is now, but there were some similarities. Inflation was pretty high and interest rates were pretty high. I had two kids and realized I couldn't raise them in the way that I wanted to raise them. So I left academia and I joined a consulting firm and they kind of taught me how to work with businesses. And I fell in love with it. I really enjoyed helping businesses because businesses are nothing more than accumulations of people. Businesses are people. You don't think of them that way, but they are. And if I can help the people in a business be happier as well as more productive, but also happier and more fulfilled in their role, then I feel like I'm doing something worthwhile because people spend eight to 10 hours a day at their job. They spend more time at their job than they do at home. So that's what got me into consulting. And in 1982, I had an opportunity to set up my own consulting business in Nashville. So I was in Memphis, Tennessee at the time, and I moved from Memphis to Nashville and set up my own shop, the company psychologist. And I've been doing that ever since 1982. Now, now the book. Now, where does the book come in? Because I love this title. I love this title. Is it okay if I show it on camera? Oh, yes. The full title of the book is you're making this way too hard. Find your easy way to enjoy life. And why did I write this book? I wrote the book because in my consulting and my coaching practices, I found more and more people who were successful by what society defines as success. They had all the trappings of success. But they just weren't enjoying their life. They weren't enjoying the fruits of their labor. They seemed to be stressed, worried. They were concerned about what other people thought of them. They had self doubt. They had anxiety there. All of the things that you would think success would solve didn't solve any of it. So that's why I wrote the book. And if you look at the title, the full title of the book is you're making this way too hard. Find your easy way to enjoy life. And enjoy life is spelled funny. It's spelled N-J-O-Y-L-F-E. And the reason I spelled it that way is because that's my license plate on my car in life. And I've had it on every car I've had since 1991. And I'll tell you a little story in my book about that was I'm a car guy. I've always had nice cars. That's how you overspend. Everybody's got a kind of overspending addiction and cars happen to be mine. At the time I had a Mercedes convertible and I was in the parking lot of a fast of a casual dining restaurant. I was picking up at the go order and I come out and there's a note on my car. And it said I would enjoy life too if I had millions in the bank and drove $110,000 Mercedes. So I look around, didn't see anybody, but I really wanted to talk to that person. I wanted to tell them that they had cause and effect backwards. I don't enjoy life because I have whatever it is that I have. I have whatever I have because I enjoy life. You've got to have it inside first. And you can enjoy life whether you have a lot or whether you have a little or whether you have nothing. It's a mindset. So what I wanted to share are some personal stories and my experience working with people and organizations for 40 something years is that people are making it harder on themselves than is necessary. Yeah, you know, I totally agree when you when you say that because I know I've been very guilty of that. That one that thing is when people look at my whole resume and I say you are so successful, you should be very happy in where you at now in your life. Honestly, it took me a long time to be happy right now in this life. And that's because just as you were saying, we not only go on what we feel what we should have to make us happy, but also what society says that we should have to make us happy. When I said it, I compare my life to when I was a single mother, just newly divorced, didn't have anything, no money at all. I was at my happiest time in moments before I got really started getting successful and money came in. You know what I'm saying? And I had the money to have everything in the world. I was more happier then than I was now, you know, just in comparison of the mob because it's like once you start to get that success, now it's like an addiction. Like you want to keep that success because if any time or any moment that you get you geared towards the opposite way, then there's just all hell that breaks through, not within you, but outside of everything. But then that's when you start to allow all of that outside of you come into Rick, which you got going on here. Oh, absolutely. And if you talk to some of the most successful people in the world, as a United Explorer card member, you can earn 50,000 bonus miles. Plus, look forward to extraordinary travel rewards, including a free-checked bag, two times the miles on United purchases, and two times the miles on dining and at hotels. Become an explorer and seek out unforgettable places while enjoying rewards everywhere you travel. Cards issued by JP Morgan Chase Bank NA member FDIC, subject to credit approval, offer subject to change, terms apply. Hey, it is Ryan Seacrest. There's something so thrilling about playing Chumba Casino. Maybe it's the simple reminder that with a little luck, anything is possible. Chumba Casino.com has hundreds of social casino style games to choose from with new game releases each week. Play for free anytime, anywhere, for your chance to redeem some serious prizes. Join me in the fun. Sign up now at Chumba Casino.com, sponsored by Chumba Casino. No purchase necessary. VGW Group, void where prohibited by law, 18 plus terms and conditions apply. Again, by society's definition, and you ask them, what's fun about you? What do you enjoy about your life? And they'll say the struggle, the journey. I mean, most of the people, most of the billionaires in this country and in the world were broke at one time or another. Some of them have been broke three or four times, but it's the challenge, the journey. That's what gets their juices flowing. And that's what they find the pleasure in. Apple started in a garage. If you look at pictures of Jeff Bezos, when he started Amazon, he's sitting at a little desk with a bunch of books around him. And he's got a handwritten sign that says Amazon on top of his desk of his desk. He didn't know. They didn't know whether they were going to be successful or not, but they were having a good time trying. The journey is what was given them enjoyment and fulfillment in their life. And I really think that's what life is all about the journey. It's not about the destination and too many people focus on, if I just get to hear, then I'll be happy. And what they don't realize is there looks a lot like where you are now, except you got more overhead. Yeah. That is so true. And just as you said that statement, that quote that we have, it's not about the destination, but it's about the journey. My question is, and honestly, and this is even for my listeners out there, is there a true destination? No, no, there's never a destination. No. So the only destination is when you're six feet under. That's the end of the journey. Other than that, you know, as I mentioned, and I'm getting older by the minute, but I'm, you know, I'm 75 years old, and I'm still working and people ask me all the time, if I haven't seen them for a while, they say, you're still working. And I say, yeah, I'm still working. You know, my funeral and my retirement party are going to be on the same day. Because I just love what I'm doing. You know, if I'm helping people every day, and you know, when I get some feedback from one of my clients on something that I've done that helped them out, I mean, that's gold to me. That's, that's, that's why I do what I do. So no, the journey, the journey never ends. And when one, even if one journey, like you mentioned, you got divorced, I got a divorce at one time. That's the end of one journey. But it's the beginning of another journey, right? Yeah. And then when you have kids, that's, that's a journey with with a lot of little side tricks along the way. So the journeys are, they're ongoing. They're always there. But and the secret is to approach them the right way, approach them with a positive attitude. And with an attitude of this is going to help me grow as a person, it's going to help me get better. And it's going to help me enjoy my life for the most miserable. I lost you. Well, I'll just keep talking just in case. Uh, where was that? I lost my train of thought. Sorry. All right. I'm back. So where were we? I was just mumbling. I hope you can edit that out. Yeah, I can't. I can't. The funny thing is that I don't know what's going on here with my, my technical thing. I will edit all of this out. But I had this problem yesterday and day before yesterday. So I don't know. I saw the, the internet company around a corner. Oh, yes. So your neighbors are messing up your internet, right? Yes, I could be it. But I thought you can hear me. So I was just telling you just to keep talking so we can kind of, you know, just do it like that. But that's all right. Don't, don't worry about it. Don't, don't. All right. Yeah, I kind of, I kind of got spooked a little bit and I lost my train of thought. So wait a minute. I don't want to be out here all by myself. I have my own podcast that I want to do that. Yeah, I saw your face. She was like, uh oh, where's she going? Yeah. Okay, we back. So I'm going to go, I'm going to start off with this question. And it's the question just to add on to with your book and speaking about your book. I know you talk about a lot about finding the easy way to join. But what are some of the strategies that you suggest for people looking to simplify their life and focus on what truly brings them happiness? Well, that's a great question. And the, the title of your podcast is an excellent starting point where you need to learn to love yourself and take care of yourself. I put self love and self care in the same bucket. I think it's very important for a person to love yourself. And it's hard with all the noise out there. Sometimes the noise could be coming from your friends, could be coming from your family, could be coming from social media, could be coming from your boss. I mean, it's coming from everywhere. And if you let it, you have to develop a thick skin and a strong filter where you're not taking everything that people say or how they treat you so seriously. And think about yourself first. I don't think you can't take care of anybody else unless you take care of yourself first, right? Right. So doing simple things like take a nap in the afternoon, recharge your batteries a little bit, try to eat a little bit better. And I'm not a fanatic about you have to go on this diet or that that. But everybody can eat a little bit better than what they're eating now, right? Maybe past McDonald's three times a week instead of going every day. I mean, just little thing, take a walk. Right. And the best I take a walk every morning around a lake at a little state park in Nashville. And I start about quarter to seven. And I'm done about seven, 30 quarter, eight, two and a half mile walk. It's delightful. I see deer. I see turkeys. I see every once in a while, see a bald eagle. And it just puts me in the right frame of mind to start today. And that's that's totally. If you want to use the word selfish, I don't I don't think of it as selfish. I think of it as self care. Yeah, that's me. That's me, myself, by myself, although there are other people there, they're all by themselves too. And they're they're on their morning walk meditation, whatever you want to call it. And some of them are every once in a while, you'll see somebody who's on a big important phone call while they're walking, which to me kind of defeats the purpose. I think if you're going to if you're going to go to to a peaceful place, you should go there in peace and reflection. You can't get in touch with nature. If you're worried, you know, if you're thinking about the next thing you're going to say on a phone, right? Yeah. So that, you know, those are some simple things. And one of the most important things anybody can do. Nobody in your audience is not on social media. Everybody's on social media of one type or another. I'm guessing they wouldn't have found you if they weren't on social media. Right. The problem of social media is people take social media too seriously. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they see these videos of people jetting off to here and they have this house and they're wearing this dress and they're doing this and doing that. And they think that's real. They don't realize that's all staged at their watch in little mini movies. They're not watching real life and they think they don't measure up compared to that, which isn't real to begin with. So don't take social media too seriously and absolutely stop comparing yourself to other people because that's a game you can't win. There's always somebody smarter, somebody richer, somebody prettier, somebody more athletic. You name it, there's somebody that's better at it than you. So quit worrying about it. Just think about being the best version of yourself that you could be. And that's going to be plenty good enough. And if you can find inner peace and contentment and self love, you'll find that people are going to want to compare themselves to you. You're not going to be comparing yourselves to them because they're going to see how you're living your life and just your body language, how you treat other people. If you're at peace, it's very easy to be kind and empathetic to other people if you're at peace with yourself. As a United Explorer card member, you can earn 50,000 bonus miles. Plus, look forward to extraordinary travel rewards, including a free checked bag, two times the miles on United purchases, and two times the miles on dining and at hotels. Become an explorer and seek out unforgettable places while enjoying rewards everywhere you travel. Cards issued by JP Morgan Chase Bank NA member FDIC, subject to credit approval, offer subject to change, terms apply. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest. Life comes at you fast, which is why it's important to find some time to relax a little you time. Enter Chumba Casino with no download required. You can jump on any time, anywhere for the chance to redeem some serious prizes. So treat yourself with Chumba Casino and play over 100 online casino style games all for free. Go to Chumba Casino.com to collect your free welcome bonus. Sponsored by Chumba Casino, no purchase necessary. VGW Group, void where prohibited by law, 18 plus terms and conditions apply. Most of the anger that you see people display in the news and real life on social media is anger at themselves directed outward. Yeah, they're not really angry at the object or the target that they're purportedly angry at. They're angry at themselves. If you're not angry with yourself, you're not going to be angry with anybody else. I mean, you get kissed off every once in a while, but you're not going to be truly angry. Right. You know, when I thought about creating the season of self-love, and I tell this story all the time, but it started off just to be a one-month series that I was doing on my other podcast, Axe 9 Richard Gatt. And it was just something that I wanted to talk about self-love because I knew myself was going through a self-love journey, have been going through it for the past, for eight, nine years, if not longer. And so I knew that I've had millions, I've lost millions. So I knew where I was at in this moment, I had to love myself without any of those things. So how do I get there? You know, how do I get there? How do I get to loving myself? So when all of these things do come back, that now I'm really able to enjoy that in life with myself. A lot of times you have, as you said before, we have millionaires. We have billionaires that have all of this money, but I'm not happy. And the reason why they are not happy is because they don't love themselves. They don't even understand how to love themselves. Right. That healed. None of those things. And so that's why I created the season of self-love for that very reason. And so how I structure the different month is through different series. So last season, we kind of broke it down where we were doing affirmations. And so it's more of the build-up, the mindset, the mental impact. Now we started off, in September, we started off with the very first one was healing beyond the betrayal. So a lot of times we not only need to forgive others, but we need to forgive ourselves as well. So even through the healing process, there's still things that we have to do within ourselves too. You know, when we have those little triggers, you know, those triggers. Oh, yeah. You know, and before we know it, we're blaming ourselves and we blame ourselves because we know I can't that other person a chance or, you know, I saw the benefit of it and such and such and such. But instead of you stepping back and realizing what that is, you know, about another perspective from it, you know, or how to heal from it. So in that, we talk about that. And then this month, this month is all about the act of balancing life. So it's not only the financial, the spiritual, the mental, all of that. How can we live a life peaceful? That's why I love your book about making it hard because I am known for making my shit. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's, it's almost the natural tendency of people to overcomplicate things. Yes. And the, the, the, they think to themselves, the answer can't be that easy. Well, well, sometimes it is. And one of the things that people can do that is, is really easy, if they just make a point of doing it, is say good things about yourself to yourself. Yeah. Positive self talk, right? It's almost a cliche. But so many people run themselves down or don't even know how to take a compliment. If somebody gives you a compliment, the only thing you're supposed to say is thank you. Yeah. Right. And they say, Oh, it's nothing or I got lucky or something. Bologna, just say thank you. Take, take the win. Take the compliment. Yeah. Yeah. I'm laughing when I'm laughing, it's because I just had this vision. My mom, she was, she's 73. And she was just diagnosed with Alzheimer's dementia. And she has this whole different new personality that I'm not used to. But it's very, I want to say not childish, but very young, very young. So when you say, Oh, you look so pretty today. Oh, I know. And beforehand, she would not do that beforehand. She was very modest. Oh, thank you. You know, now it's like, Oh, I know. Well, I think one of the things I mentioned in my book is that if you want to find joy in your life, try to remember what you felt like when you were five, six, seven years old, because most five, six, seven year old kids are happy, joyful all the time, unless their parents kind of grinded out of them over time. I think if you let people, if you let little kids be little kids, they're going to find a way to find joy in their life. Yeah. And unfortunately, it gets socialized out of us over the years. And if you can rekindle that, that's kind of the the essence of my book is to kind of rekindle the joy you felt at some point in your life. It's in there somewhere. Right. You've just got to pull it back out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I hear that it's in there somewhere. So let me go here. I'm going to go back to your book one more time. I want to go back to it. So you speak about the importance of making right choices in who you bring into our personal and professional lives. Yes. How can someone ensure that they are making a decision that is aligned with their values? Well, you're going to find that the people, there are people who meet your healthy needs. And there are people who meet your neurotic needs. And unfortunately, the people that meet your neurotic needs sometimes are more exciting. They're more unpredictable. You know, they can get your adrenaline flowing. Whereas the people who meet your healthy needs might be quote unquote boring, not that but those are the people who are going to be with you through the good times and the bad times. And one of the things I think that people find is when they begin to develop more self-love, which in confidence comes with that. And it's a quiet self-confidence. It's not a bragging self-confidence. And if you're, you know, talking positive about yourself and your outlook on life changes where you are making better decisions. And one of the great decisions people can make is learn how to say no. Don't feel like you have to be all things to all people or please people all the time. Learn this. If you learn to say no, you'll find that some of your superficial associations, the people you thought were your friends, will kind of drift away. And you'll get a new circle of friends who, and you want to associate yourself with positive, upbeat, happy people. Yeah. I mean, the old saying that misery loves company is wrong. Misery loves miserable company. Misery people don't want, they don't want to be around happy people and happy people don't want to be around miserable people. Once you develop that positive attitude and you're walking around with a smile on your face and you're whistling and you're going to find that you'll be attracted to similar type people and they'll be attracted to you. But you're going to lose some of those toxic people along the way. And the sooner you can jettison the toxic people from your life, the better off you're going to be. Yeah. Yeah. So let them family and friends go. No. Well, you can't let you, you can let your friends go. You can't let your family go. You're kind of stuck with them. But you can change the way you interact with them. Yeah. Yeah. You know, even if it's your parent, if it's one of your parents, it's giving you a hard time about something. If you just say, well, you're entitled to your opinion and just go on with your life, you know, so many people get hung up on the past. And I tell one of the lines of my book is the past can either be your teacher or your jailer. You have to make the choice. Say that one more time. Say that one more time. The past can either be your teacher or your jailer. You have to make the choice. I like that. I like that. Feel free to use it. I like that. Okay. So let's move on to another huge aspect of life. That's money. Money. Money. So you said the only problems money solves are money problems. So can you expand on that, especially on how people can manage financial stress without overwhelming their emotional well being? Well, money is kind of a hot topic because it's come to be how we measure a person's worth. And I've been preaching for 40 years that a person's self-worth should not be equated to their net worth. Yeah. And so many people see if I just had 10 million dollars, I'd be happy. Yeah. Well, look around how many people have more than 10 million dollars and you notice how unhappy they are. So it ain't the money, right? It's you, right? So I think it helps to be responsible about money. And that means don't buy crap you don't need, right? As a United Explorer card member, you can earn 50,000 bonus miles. Plus, look forward to extraordinary travel rewards, including a free-checked bag, two times the miles on United purchases, and two times the miles on dining and at hotels. Become an explorer and seek out unforgettable places while enjoying rewards everywhere you travel. Cards issued by JP Morgan Chase Bank NA member FDIC. Subject to credit approval, offer subject to change, terms apply. How to have fun, anytime, anywhere. Step one, go to chumbakassino.com. Chumbakassino.com. Got it. Step two, collect your welcome bonus. Come to top of welcome bonus. Step three, play hundreds of casino-style games for free. That's a lot of games, all for free. Step four, unleash your excitement. Chumbakassino has been delivering thrills for over a decade, so claim your free welcome bonus now and live the Chumba Life. Visit chumbakassino.com. It means don't overextend yourself. It means don't try to do, you know, buy too big of a house or too fancy a car or too expensive clothes or walking around with a Louis Vuitton handbag, just because you want to impress other people. Well, most of the time, I'd say 99% of the time, people really don't give a damn about you one way or the other. Nobody cares about you as much as you care about you. So if you're responsible about money and you're not heavily in debt or you're living within your means, the rest of life becomes easier because you're not under the constant strain of pen next month's bills. And, you know, I'm a child of the 50s. I grew up in the 50s and in the 50s, most households were one-income households, okay? And it was not always, but it was usually the man who was making the money and the woman was doing the harder job of taking care of the house and the children and the social relationships. And it was doable because people didn't feel like they needed to have two BMWs or they needed to have a 5,000 square foot house or they needed to send their children to expensive private schools. They sent their kids to the public schools. They had one car. Most of them had one car. The house was fairly modest. Of course, a new house in the 50s was probably $10,000, $15,000, but that's a different story. Not like it. But people had a more realistic outlook on money. And another thing that changed is I know I sound like an old funny duddy when I'm talking about this, but that's okay. People in the 50s looked at people who had built successful businesses or had their own businesses with admiration and wanted to be like them. And now people resent people who have taken risks and built successful businesses or become successful in some other way. Instead of looking at those people with admiration, we look at them with resentment. And there are more opportunities out there now than there ever have been because of technology and because it's a worldwide economy. Now, 50, 60 years ago, nobody thought about doing business in Indonesia or Africa or China or Australia or whatever. You can do business everywhere now. And there are ways to make money if that's what's important to you. More opportunities now than there ever have been. But we've become, I think, envious and risk-averse at the same time. You know, we want what other people have, but we're not willing to take the same risk that those people took to get where they are. Exactly. Right? Exactly. Exactly. Let me, I got a question for you. Since we, this month, is talking about the act of balancing. For you, what would be your advice? What would be your advice for someone needing to balance their lives and find joy on an everyday basis? If you can just break it all to one and say, "Look, you could take my advice or not, but try these things to help balance your life." Well, I think balance is misunderstood, but it doesn't mean everything is equated. I mean, there's time, if you've got a deadline at work where something has to be done, I mean, work is going to put your life out of balance for a period of time. But if you want to balance your life first, as I mentioned, take the best care of yourself that you can't. Get yourself in as good a physical shake, because that's the engine that drives everything else. If you don't have your health, you don't have crap, it doesn't matter. So take care of yourself first and learn to take control on the decisions that you make. Everybody makes decisions, but a lot of people want to, if something doesn't go, you make a decision, something doesn't go well, the first thing you're doing is looking around for somebody else to blame. Well, you made the decision. If you're in a bad relationship, at one point or another, you made a decision to get into that relationship. Right. Exactly. And the same thing applies to addictions. Let's say you're an alcoholic at this point in your life. Well, at some point in your life, you made a decision to take that first drink. Right? Yes. So who's to blame, really, if you're an alcoholic? You can blame everybody else. But I don't, most people, nobody's holding a gun to your head and saying, "Take a drink." Right. It could be peer pressure, it could be societal pressure, you could be at a party or something like that, and people are saying, "What do you mean you don't want to have a drink?" Well, sometimes you got to have a little self-discipline and say, "No, that's not what I'm going to do." And if they make funny for that, so be it. Right. Those are the ones that you need to be around with. That's not exactly those are not the people you need to be around. Well, Doctor, this has been a very interesting conversation. It has. It really has been fun for me, too. But we have come to the conclusion of it. We are here at the end of the show. So are there any last words that you have? What can they find in your book? I know you somewhere on social media where they can find you. Yeah. Getting to it. Okay. They can buy my book on Amazon. It's also available on Audible. I went in the studio, did an audio version, which was fun and interesting. I'd never done that before. So that's my own voice. If you buy the audio, Audible version of my book, it's my own voice. You can find me on LinkedIn, Angela Vellente PhD. My website is angelvellente.com. And you can also buy my book on my website. You can buy a signed copy of my book on the website. I'm on Facebook, Angela Vellente. I'm on Instagram, Angela Vellente author. I'm on TikTok, too. I just got on TikTok. So I've done a few videos. I got like 10 followers or something. I just started posting videos. And they're usually little funny stories or stories with a moral to them. Because I'm not, believe me, I don't want to be an influencer. I really don't. But I'm on X also. I post a little bit on that. But mostly Instagram and Facebook is where you'll find me. If you buy my book out there, first of all, please buy my book. It's a good book. You'll like it. Write a review on Amazon. I'd appreciate it. As you know, anything that can move the algorithm along is a good thing. So that's working. But thanks for having me. No, this was fun. This was fun. And the audio, I can just imagine. So I'm going to go pick up the audio. I like to do audio. I like to. That's how I read nowadays, because I'm doing everything at one time, you know, so I like to hear audible. Oh, good. Thank you. Yeah. So I'm picking up because I can tell this is going to be very entertaining. Just the tone of your voice and the mannerism of your voice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm loving it. But again, thank you, Dr. Valente, for joining us and to our listeners for tuning in. I want you to remember that the journey to self-love and enjoying life is ongoing. And it's okay. It's okay to see simplicity and joy in small steps. So be sure to check out Dr. Valente's book. You're making this way too hard. And for more insights, you could, it's going to be on our website down above in our blog post as well. Oh, thank you. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. We're doing a big this season. We're all good. We're doing a big this season. Yes, we are. And again, thank you for joining us and make sure you guys join us tomorrow for another episode of the season of self-love. So until then keep embracing your joy and remember, self-love isn't a part. It's a way of living. Take care. Thank you for joining us on this journey of discovering an empowerment here at the season of self-love podcast. Remember, embracing self-love is a continuous journey and we're so glad to have you with us. So if you enjoy today's episode, please leave us a review and don't forget to join our community on Facebook at season of self-love. Connect with a like-minded individuals who are also on their self-love journey. Now, if you have any questions on top of what you like for us to explore, we'd love to hear from you. Email us at season of self-love at gmail.com and let your voice be here. So until next time, take a moment for yourself. Today and remember, you are worthy of love, joy, and all the beautiful things that life has to offer. You slept through your alarm, missed the train, and your breakfast sandwich. Cool. Sounds like you could use some luck. 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