Our Week: in Review
#233 - Square and Compass
(upbeat music) - Wickers, twickers, thrill freakin' seekers. Welcome back to another great freakin' Alleria's freakin' episode of freakin' Our Week in Review. On W-A-Y-O-L-P freakin' Rochester, also on ample freakin' podcasts. Freakin' Spotify and freakin' Soundglot if anyone freakin' wants to know. Wickers, twickers, thrill freakin' seekers. My name is Taylor the Mossman Lofton, and with me as always to my list is Sandy the Zing-Mang Vargas, and bringin' up the rear, we have done this luck, Jordan, no Tania. Wickers, twickers, thrill freakin' seekers, and the freakin' panel's Stutche freakin' engines. This is our week in review. Ah! - Oakers, twickers, thrill freakin' seekers. It has been one week since we last spoke. (gentle music) And I find myself in the midst of a great and bountiful harvest. All around me. Corn and apple for the plucking. Plums, pizzas, like butt-seeks, slide thy tongue between, grass-berries, and golden raisins. Like, triple nipples. I caress them, bizoomer, stuffing them in down my gullet. The wealth of a bountiful harvest. But with every harvest comes taines. Leaves, turned to brown, shrivel, like Doug Jordan's Dangly Johnson, and with her, falling from the tree limb, holding for a moment in that fluttering sky, and then descending below. We're going through a great change here, oakers, and twinkers. Fartman Sarkis has been spending a lot of time at passers-loms. Doug Jordan's son, stricken with puberty. Teddy, is there nowhere to be found? I myself holding on hope for a season two of our weekend review. And in all that confused and insane, I look to the great compass and square, the Masonic Square Incumpus, as a source of direction, an answer. And to be perfectly honest with you, every time I say to the great brain trust at the Masonic Temple, geez Louise, down in my knees, I can really use you boys right now. I am sent out to do another chore. Knock, knock, knock it on the door! Well, enough is enough. And it's time for its Ains. Now, Sandy, the Fartman Sarkis is here. Doug the Slug. Teddy Eraser is gone, likely dead, but we don't know at this point. The last conversation we had, he said he was hoping for a return to normalcy. (gentle music) I said, when has your life been anything normal? And then I thought back to pre-surds or ease and when he used to just play with himself on camera and I thought he has fallen a long way. Has it been at the hands of the show? Or are we the only thing keeping him afloat? Doug Jordan, Sandy Farkis, your thoughts now, please. I think even before he was playing with himself on Vriggan camera on the internet, he, I mean, he was just a Vriggan college student who was given an internship to work on our Vriggan program because this days in brass, thought we needed an extra set of eyes. I think he was really a Vriggan normal back then. And yet behind those eyes that you so eloquently spoke of, deviancies were brewing. I actually didn't say anything about his eyes, but I mean, I can agree that deviancies have been wreaking brewing and at least at the very least in his Vriggan lines, his trousers and maybe an inside his Vriggan underpants. Zachary will leave you in season, I mean. Yeah. You didn't say anything about his eyes? 'Cause I'm pretty sure I heard you say something about extra set of eyes. No, well, yeah, I guess I did say something about his Vriggan eyes. Thank you, dude. I was just confused because then I was thinking, maybe you said exercise. They brought him an exercise. And I just want to note that you did Vriggan interrupt me and when I would appreciate if that was the last time that that happens during the course of the Vriggan program, thank you very much and please be quiet. And is it possible that exercises all the boy needs to straighten him out? Solve his issues once and for all. Doug Jordan, what you say to that? I mean, yeah, exercise is good to help kind of get your body moving and get yourself in a better mental head space. So maybe that could help release some endorphins which would maybe free up some space in his mind. So he would have more power to be normal. I stopped listening. So did I? Yeah. So I don't know what you said. I never really began listening if I'm being honest with you. Why are you even asking me questions on this show? Well, I thought you might for once have something good to say. You know, you are raising a boy. Obviously, Tadia is not much older than your child. And I thought perhaps you would have some wisdom to offer him and his repose and his darkest hour. But my mistake now. He specifically asked me about exercise. He said, "Doug, do you think exercise could help the boy?" So my answer was about exercise. Did I really say that? Pretty sure he said it. Doug, do you think that exercise will help the boy and release him from his deviant? I don't think everything I even know. Doesn't sound like his problems are a little bit more surface deep than that, Doug Jordan. I think a little exercise would only aggravate his condition. I think a little bit of freaking... Why am I being interrupted? I don't know. I think I'm going to help it. Why am I being fucking interrupted, Doug? I feel like I would have floored myself. I'm going to... The floor was yielded to me. And now I feel like you're interrupting me, if I'm being honest with you. I just want to say that I think maybe a little bit of exercise could kill him. It's a good point. He's an incredibly weak state and he's very fragile. And I don't ever see him drink, but I never see him drink. I see him drink, I see him smoke. He talks about eating, but he never does actually eat. Yeah. Sometimes our order, our big plate of food from Mortago Grill, and it will just sit there. Grow cold and withered. It's gonna eventually... Yeah, I end up eating it. So, after he fingers it. So, never the last Doug Jordan, how you doing? How you been? How are you been? How are you gonna bless you and how was your week? Yes, thank you for the blessing. And thank you for asking me if I was (beep) or not. And thank you for asking me about my week. And that whole lot happened to me this week. And you know, you know, it's fall, winter's coming. So, decided to get up on the ladder and clean out the gutters. Get ready for winter, for all the snow. Start more at a leaves, just gonna start falling soon? Well, yeah, but they're already pretty bad. So, I figured I'll clean them out now and I'll clean them out again later at the end of the fall. I think you could maybe eliminate all this extra chore by doing it in the spring. Yeah, but then they can get really blocked up. And then I want them to be that blocked up. You know, I want them to be instantly. Here's the thing. I always wonder, I mean, why have freaking gutters at all? If they're just getting a freaking gummed up with a freaking leaf, it's in debris. Yeah. Basically what you have, Doug, is a freaking leaf, a leaf and freaking bird (beep) catcher that's entirely wrapped around the roof of your freaking house. That's correct. So, I don't even know. I don't even know how to hang him out. If I were you, I'd drink and climb up to ring. I don't rip the whole thing, freaking down. If I'm being honest with you. Well, there, I mean, there is a solution. And I could get, I think they're called the gutter guards. You put them over the cover and it's a small, it's a, it's like a window screen. So you can't get the leaves and the debris into the gutters and just water can get in there. Then you never have to clean the gutters. But that takes time and money, you know. Again, I stopped glistening. Now, Sandy, the Sandman Farkus, how you doing? How you been? How old are you? God bless you. And how was your week? Ah, I've been doing it very, very well. I, man, I'm very, (beep) I'm digging, so I'm ringing behind on Zoom. (beep) I'm blasting. I'm thinking of that, it is more freaking blessing. And I would like to bestow a blessing and unto you in response to both three blessings. So you're so blessed, Lee, blessed unto thee. - And blessed unto you. - All right. Thank you for the ring and blessing. And a blessing unto you. And even a blessing unto a duck, Gordon. Sorry, duck, ring and Jordan. And unto freakin' Tatey. - I'm Richard. - Leave me blind. And unto freakin' Tatey, Richard. Wherever and please be blind. And unto Tatey, Richard. Wherever you ring it may be. And I'm very, very (beep) (beep) - And how was your week? - Geez, always. Most of our every initial ingredient wasn't. Obviously, my girl, freakin' weary of our ring and venture into the freakin' Freemasons. Secret freakin' society. I'm beginning to wonder if the freakin' ledger that we so eagerly want to get a ring and hands upon is really worth all of the freakin' chores that they make us, we can do. And all of the freakin' soup that I am dispensing to these old freakin' boogies and the flatulence that fills their freakin' rooms with every freakin' spoonful of soup that they freakin' gestate upon. And freakin' slurp, everyin' nauseam because a lot of these, a lot of these freakin' bored mold boogies are freakin' toothless. And some of them, one of them, freakin' Ernie, his freakin' densers fell out into the bowl of freakin' soup the other day. And he freakin' eaten meat and slurpin' up Lord freakin' willin'. So I go, am I ever gonna get in the freakin' good graces of these freakin' boogies or is this destined to be a complete ring and waste ringin' done? And I just can't freakin' really allow that to freakin' be. Because I'm already invested in about freakin' four week of my freakin' time into this ringin' temple and pleasant my freakin' will reasons. And I thought maybe perhaps I could bestow upon them a freakin' great freakin' gift. That could potentially have freakin' benefits or freakin' both ringin' parties. Those two parties being the freakin' free mansions. And of course, my freakin' friends at bachelor's ringin' lounge, my freakin' hookah, which is a freakin' hookah, it's a freakin' hookah, freakin' lounge where you can smoke GG. So I bought them a freakin' gift certificate, which, bachelor's lounge didn't really offer. I said, can you just kinda just get these guys over here and gettin' some freakin' GG and maybe, you know, drum some freakin' business for you guys. And they said, that's great. And so I gave them, I said, I don't know, I'm givin' a freakin' $25 gift certificate. So I'm going to a freakin' bestow that upon the freakin' free mansions at the next freakin' meeting and I'm hopefully tryin' get these freakin' help everybody a little bit. - Yeah, essentially what Sandy's trying to describe is that we're workin' a lunch cart at an old folks home. Essentially just pushin' a cart around, cleanin' up plates, droppin' off soup, goin' and rushin' to heat up more soup for the remainder of the crowds who want seconds. - And then serving 'em all freakin', copious amounts of freakin' beer as well. - And race pudding, a popular hit there. Apparently the chef, long family secret. But in terms of learning any sort of information. I don't really see that happening anytime soon. - Yeah. - I think-- - So I figure if we get them a freakin' gift certificate and we get them all the bachelor's lounge, then we can freakin' break into the freakin' temple and steal that (beep) and ledger one's and her own. I got all these secrets. - Photocopia. - And then we'll destroy it. - Yeah. - Releasing the secrets into the ether deck, Jordan. - Age, are you-- - Weekers, twinkers, thrill freakin' stickers. We've got a great freakin' show full of freakin' our week's news and discussions. But before we get to that, we need to get to 30 days of Halloween! But for weekers and twinkers who know, we have a great news segment on this show. So without further ado, please listen to me and to you. Sometimes it's difficult waiting through the ghastly ghouls. So many witches and warlocks, you know not what to do. How will you ensure that your presence has been seen with so many costume choices on Halloween? If the struggle to alter your attire is real, you need fear not. We know how you feel. We have suggestions for costumes and more in our week's guide to Halloween 2024. So jeez, Louise, down at my knees, it's gonna be brought to you in partnership with Lisa Millbrand at Real Simple, the trusted source to help you simplify your life. A little background on Lisa, Lisa is a passionate storyteller who has built engaging content for dozens of brands and sites. She is a master at Seamless SEO, content calendaring, and writing and editing everything from a tweet to a video script to a white paper. She has extensive experience in healthcare, pharma, lifestyle, and technology verticals. Lisa's journey began in 1996 when she became an associate editor at Modern Pride, since then she has worked at dozens of lifestyle publications, including Ogilvy and Mather, Lecters Think Kitchen, and Pupiluses. Lisa Millbrand is committed to helping people live better and healthier lives. So jeez, Louise, down at my knees. Any further questions before we get started? - Yeah, what is this, what are we doing? And why did we need to know so much of Lisa's ringing background? - And also, why is it still called a tweet if the website's called X? Everything about that? - What the hell does that have to do with anything I just said, Doug Jordan? - Well, you said she added a brain and editing everything from a tweet to a video script. It's thinking maybe a lot of people will get confused. - Well, Doug Jordan, why don't you shut the hell up? - And one last question is Pupiluses, is that like a freaking pubic bugger? When is that a freaking, is that like a grams? - I believe it delves into pubis health. Health with your pubis and ensuring that your pubis grows strong, making sure that it doesn't stink to high heavens or discharge a seepy goo, as they say, Doug Jordan, knows well about that. They say that your pubisies secrete a sleepy goo? - They can, yes, they can. I didn't say they do, Doug Jordan, now. - I don't know anything about that. You said I know about that, I didn't even know what you're talking about. - Nevertheless, as part of the partnership we wanted to bring Ms. Milbrane's commitment into the fold. So we talked a bit about here, but what we're doing in this segment is in bold inning and in livening Halloween by going through the top 2024 costumes. Get weekers and tweakers a head start on there, Halloween planning. So without further ado, top Halloween costumes for 2024. Number one, pop culture. These items will be in pop culture category. Obviously, Beetle Goose is gonna be a big one because he just came back. Obviously he's a dastardly ghoul, sent from hell, back to seek his revenge on a family, and in the first one he got his revenge. Bear and he left the couple, unable to conceive. He slowly whittled away at the husband till he was dead and then tortured the wife until she too expired. A great and hilarious costume, wild hair, striped suit, funny boots, purple shirt. Beetle Goose is back. What do you want to say? - Exactly. - Is this supposed to be a rig and the segment, is this supposed to be a discussion? - Well, I thought you might want to say something about it. How much do you like the idea of her costume? - Obviously, I'm really thrilled that Beetle Goose is back. We went a really long time without rig and checking in with rig and Beetle Goose. It is phenomenal that he has returned into rig and pop cults there, and I can't wait to see the little lads ringing the doorbell at rig and Doug Jordan's rig and house and lighten a sack of rig and feces on his rig and friend's lips and Jess's little rig and Beetle Goose himself. - Doug, I bet you would just like to beat the hell out of those kids when they do that. - Yeah, if they leave poop on my doorstep and then lay it on fire and then run away, and ring the doorbell, yeah, I would absolutely be infuriated about that. Is there anything else you want to say? - No, I think he is back. - Yeah, number two, Deadpool and Wolverine. These are two Halloween characters, very famous. And I'm very excited to see their costumes. Sandy Farkas, Doug Jordan, any comment on these two hilarious ghouls? - Yeah, this is a freaking glass of the Greek and Halloween costume. You have a freaking Deadpool who is a ghoul who's returned back from the freakin' dead to get his rig and revenge. And he calls upon his friend, Ring and Wolverine, who is a, well, he's a freakin' beast who dwells in a freakin' cemetery. It's gnarling and rigging and drilling. He is a hound from freakin' hell. These are a freakin' hilarious or a freakin' Halloween, freakin' duo. And I can't wait to see these freakin' ghouls creepin' up and down, freakin' Doug Jordan's rig and neighborhood. It's their own freakin' toilet paper, all of his eating trees and be honest with you. - Pooping in his freakin' jack-o-lantern. Fillin' it to the brim 'til it comes out of its triangle eyes. - Yeah, I hope neither of those things happen. - Number three, Disney descendants. Absolutely freakin' hilarious. - Like Walt Disney's son or something? - The extended Disney family, like... - I don't know, it was on the list. Disney descendants. The descendants, is that a thing? I was thinking maybe it was some movie or something. We'll skip it, we'll come back to that one. Number four, Taylor Swift and other pop icons. That could be absolutely freakin' hilarious. - What other pop icons? - Michael Jackson. - Go around with a baby covered in a blanket? - Yeah, that's a good one. 'Cause he's not really relevant anymore 'cause he died all those years ago. - But what about the charges, Doug Jordan? - The charges, I think, still remain, yeah. - And you could do freakin' Janet Jackson with her freakin' breast exposed. - That's true. Another guy could be freakin' Justin Timberlake with his freakin' phallus stickin' out of his trousers. Walkin' around with her, it could be a couple's costume. - Walkin' around gettin' DWIs out on the street, open container law. Can't freakin' control himself, Doug Jordan. Next one, Wednesday Adams. A ghastly ghoul from the Adams family, packed from the dead. Come to haunt our dreams. Anything funny about that? - It seemed just a normal costume, it seems like, I think. - Well, I'd rather see freakin' Uncle Vester. That's true. - Yeah, or rather see Uncle Vester. Or what's the hand, the thing, that thing. Or what's just the hand? - I think that's it. - Yeah. - No, 'cause it is the thing. The thing is the hand and freakin' it is the freakin' giant. Yeah, well, it's a giant, right? Isn't they giant, they're just covered in hair, which is a big man, like a big wig. - Absolutely hilarious. - Do you think the thing ever-- - Played with itself or played with somebody else? - Yeah, basically what I was thinking, creepin' it away into someone's rear freakin' end. - Yeah, 'cause it uses guzzin' thing to freakin' play with themselves. - Well, that would be, I think, a vegetable. - That was directed to you, Doug. Excuse me, what are you freakin' doing? - It mutually benefits. You asked me a question, and I was answering the question. - All right, all right, moving on. Bridgerton, now this is absolutely hilarious, and I would like to go as Bridgerton this year. Bridgerton is an absolutely hilarious rega movie about a British man named Bridgerton, Miles Bridgerton. He is a dastardly cook working in a sweaty kitchen far below the surface of London. And his favorite meal that he cooks? Why is flaps bats, flapjack pancakes? - Um, yeah. Yeah, this is a good one. - The next one, minions. Little bastards, little green bastards, I believe. Little, they look like pencils without a razor's on top. - Yeah, they're basically a bunch of little yellow ghouls, crawl out of the rega cemetery, and come to rega zoo again. I remember one can't wait to see a whole bunch of these little freaking guys on ghouls freaking running up and down Doug Jordan's freaking neighborhood, and just absolutely going to Madderman's freaking run long. - Absolutely freaking hilarious, and a lot of them have sex with each other. - Why do you think every Halloween there's kids defecating on my front lawn, or pooping on a lantern, or pooping in a bag? I feel like that's never really happened to me. - Part of the tradition, Doug Jordan. - Yeah, but it hasn't really happened, so it's not-- - It's just the tradition, Doug. - And it has happened. Sandy's lit multiple flaming bags of Visis on your front porch. - Yeah, but that's Sandy, that's not a little freaking minion running around doing it. - And I've never done it on Halloween either. - It's kind of like a minion. - I don't wanna breezy it in. - It's on. Inside out too. Doug Jordan, why don't you take this one away? You've got a boy. - Yeah, it's a Disney film. Where it's the emotions inside of a young, we had the first one is a child's brain. I think the second one's probably like a teenager. So I guess you could dress up like one of the emotions. Like anger, sadness, happy. - That's what this is about? - Yeah, that's exactly what it's about. - Why did you watch it? - I have a young boy, like you said. - Yeah, but he's 16 years old. He shouldn't be watching this garbage. - I haven't seen inside of you. I saw inside out when he was younger. I haven't seen inside out too. It's on your list, so it must not be freaking garbage. - What's her name, Lisa? - Milbrand. - Yeah, it's on Lisa Milbrand's list, so it must be pretty good. - Let's move it along. Number four, wicked. Number five, Ghostbusters. - I was just number four. Wait a minute, what? This is at least number eight or something. - Well, I don't, it's nine, wicked. Ghostbusters, Harley Quinn and Joker. All hilarious. And then there's classic Halloween costumes, Western themed costumes. Dress up as a cowboy, assless chaps. Walk around showing your butt cheeks to everyone. You could dress up as a dastardly witch or devilish warlock, or take a trip down Mayor Murray Lane to the time of the disco. Angels and devils are always good. If I were a devil, I would have something sticking out my rear end, if you know what I freaking mean. And horror movie favorites. I'm thinking alien. Star war. Anime. - You just reading them like there's extra lines on this list. You're just reading those and saying that those are horror movie favorites. - Well, do you have anything to add that's not critical of the segment, Doug Jordan? - I don't really know what this segment is, really. We're just listing Halloween costumes. - You can do a ghost, you can be a ghost. - That's good. - I would be worried that people would think I was dressed up as a Klan member. - Well, that's a freaking meme. Everybody who dresses up as a reading goes for Halloween runs the risk of being mistaken for a reading land member and where it's going. - Yeah. - What about a-- - Regular. - There's Spider-Man. I was gonna say Spider-Man. - The only thing is if you dress as Spider-Man and you get an RX in. - Yeah, everybody's gonna think it's your (beep) or something, if that's what you're gonna say. - What? - Everybody's gonna ask you to shoot your web out of your reading balance. Everybody's gonna say it. - I was just gonna say it would show through the suit. Spandex and whatnot. I don't know where the cop is to be honest with you. - I mean, when you're a freaking thing about that, every single one of these freaking costumes has that same freaking problem. If you've been dressed up as beetle goose and you're walking around all of a sudden, you have a freaking erection. Pop a bone. - People are gonna see it. 'Cause you're freaking wearing a freaking stripe or you're freaking shoot. It's gonna be extensivated. There's gonna be a freaking hard TV in your trousers. - Well, not if I-- - Tresses Wednesday in Adams? - Well, I think if you dress as Wednesday Adams, there's a fair chance that you're gonna be wearing a freaking tight, a skirt. And then everyone will see your re-interaction poking out the bottom of the freaking skirt. If you're a ghost buzzer, everybody's gonna say, "Wow, this must be a ghost buzzer, 'cause he's about to freakin' bust." - Yeah, they're about to slime themselves. Slimer must have showed up. They're gonna say-- - Bustin' makes me feel good, right? Yeah, it's on. - Weekers, twinkers, thrill freakin' sneakers. We got a great freakin' show full of freakin' R-weeks news and discusants. If you wanna join the conversation, you can reach out to us. Weekers, twinkers, thrill freakin' sneakers without further freakin' R-weeks news and discusants. Start freakin' now. Last week, Martha Stewart called this cordless Bissell vacuum, the best new home appliance, and it's on sale according to people. The 83-year-old lifestyle magnate took to Instagram to recommend the Bissell Crosswave on need for his cordless wet dry vacuum. Quote, "This is an unpaid recommendation because I love the machine," Stewart wrote. "The Martha Stewart-approved machine is a two-in-one vacuum in mop. It's dual tanks separate the dirty and clean water, so your entire floor benefits from fresh water and cleaning solution. Stewart's endorsement couldn't come at a better time because the cordless vacuum sheet swears by his on sale Amazon right now. The entrepreneur raid that the design is simple, and the parts are easy to clean that anyone can use it. Its multi-service compatibility function means it can be used on both hard surfaces, carpeted floors, so you can run this on everything from tile to area rug. Stewart shared that she personally uses hers on her marble kitchen floors. Also, there's no need to worry about getting wrapped up in cords or moving the machine from outlet to outlet because it's a completely cordless unit. Full charge in the included charging dock provides up to 30 minutes of run time, so. Cheese, Louise, down in my knees, Martha Stewart is back. Amazon deals, ding ding ding, cordless vacuum. 30-minute run time, wet dry mop, bizzle. Now, this unsolicited stis advice. Coming from wealth and abundance of love for her fans around the world, those who followed her to the end and back, Dr. Durden. And Martha says to herself, here's a gift. This one's on me. My advice, get a bistle. Your thoughts now please, Doug. - Yeah, that sounds like an interesting vacuum that it's wet and dry. - Now that you said it, coming from your mouth, I thought that there must be an attachment and that if you were to attach it to your dangly johnson, it would suck both wet and dry. Producing an ecstasy not yet seen from a single unit vacuum. - And you think Martha Stewart is going on the record and endorsing a vacuum for people to put on their dangly johnson so they can (beep) them wet and dry. - I mean, she didn't, or is it? - Yeah, but it's not a sexual vacuum. It's just, I think it's a regular, it's wet and dry floor vacuum. - About the attachment. - So what, I missed the part about the attachment. - All vacuums have attachments, Doug. Don't play dumb. - The design is simple and the parts are easy to clean. That anybody can use it. - Yeah, well, what do you think the subtext is there, Doug Jordan? - I don't want to make sure this is easy to clean, Doug. I mean, if you're going to be using it and if we want, we think we're going to be using it for you, things are going to get freaking gummed up. - I'm looking at it now and I don't think there's any attachments. It looks like it just, it's just the bottom part. - It doesn't have a hose, Doug. - I don't see a hose. I see a tank for probably the wet and the dry. - Interesting. - And there is a digital display that tells you the percentage of something. - Well, is there a hole in the tank? - I mean, there's got to be somewhere for it to go into, yeah. - So there it is. Either that or you rest the machine on top of your loins and hit the start button. - Yeah, I guess if that's what you do with vacuums. - Yeah, I find it odd. Martha didn't mention anything else about maybe more vibrations. - Yeah, I don't know why she would be interested in this sucking in at all. - That's a good point. - And I'll just-- - Let's go back him. - 'Cause there's not a whole lot to suck that Jordan, if you know what I mean? - Never freaking Martha than he is, no. - And the crumbs off the ground or a spill now that it can suck up liquids. Like people regularly do with vacuums. You know, they clean the floor. I think that's what she's-- - Doug, what's the MSRP on this thing? - On Amazon right now, it is on sale for $349. - Jeez Louise, you can buy a woman for that much. - Weekers, twinkers, our weeks in memoriam. As you were, you will always be treasured forever in our memory. - Chris Kristofferson, singer and songwriter, an actor, dead at 88. Chambay Mutumbo, basketballs car, played 18 years as center and NBA, dead at 58. John Ashton, Beverly Hills cop actor, dead at 76. Drake Hoganstein, long time days of our live star, dead at 70. Actress Maggie Smith, known for Harry Potter, Downton Abbey, dead at 89. Jazz saxophonist and composer, Zerg Beni Goldson, dead at 95. Catherine Crosby, actor and widow, a famed singer and Oscar winger, wizard, Ben Krispy, dead at 90. Tito Jackson, founding member of Jackson 5, dead at 70. Gone, but not forgotten. This one hits home. And I don't know if it's because of Tito Jackson. Though I loved her and I was honestly, I've gotta say, I was never more surprised than I was at that Super Bowl when Justice Timber pulled apart Tito's shirt and exposed his breasts. - Yeah. - How could that have happened? - Well, I mean, I remember correctly, it was a very wardrobe, Malthongson. And it was that Malthongson, the trip, the earth, the earth planted her into a drinking car that after a good evening. The world was ringing and watching and look, there's a lot of ringing names on this ringing list. And I think the only way to honor all of them able to use to, for each of us to name the person that we're going to miss the most and the person on the list that we're going to miss the least. - Yeah. - Doug, I think without further ado, you should kick this off. - Make it quick, too. - Does that make it quick, Doug? - I don't really know it. The thing is, I barely know any of these people. So, off the top of my head, I'll say I'll miss Tito Jackson the most and I'll miss John Ashton the least. - That is a second. - John Ashton known as the Fats I Get from Beverly Hills Comp. - The guy literally died for his craft, Doug Jordan, maintaining a weight of 300 pounds just in case they might call him for one more show. - Yeah, and it was the craft services table that ended up healing him. - John done a twizzler, what? - Be in the new movie. - The new? - Yeah, he sure wanted to. But his screen time had to be drastically reduced because he kept me, I go, where is this ring guy? Maybe he wouldn't believe he was at the craft service table. Honing his craft, dude, so he's him, honing my craft. - Okay, do you want me to take it back? - No, I don't. - I want to know, Sandy, who you're gonna miss the most and who you care not for? - Obviously, I think that what I'm gonna miss is very most would have to be J-Tos is singing from James of our lives. I was a freaking program that I used to follow when I would be at the doctor's office and J-Tos and Chin was perhaps one of my favorite actors from that freaking program. And if I had to pick who I was gonna miss the least, I'd probably be just, just not, 'cause you're sorry. - Chris just offers, and just, Christopher just offers, what am I doing? Christopher, Chris offers, and Criven's in, Chris, Chris offers, and... - I think I'm gonna miss Maggie Smith the least. Never did it for me, old bag of bones? - Yeah, I was always confused during the Harry Potter films. I go, is this seriously supposed to be the freaking eye candy in this ring and picture? - Yeah. - This is supposed to be a sex ring and symbol, I'm supposed to be lusting after this old bag? - Well, I mean, she turns into a cat. - Yeah, well, look, that may be freaking tickle, freaking Doug Jordan is freaking fancy, but it doesn't do anything for me, I don't see him. - Sly little kitty, Doug Jordan would say. - I would never say that. - Walking around, it's tail ringing around your ankle. Rear end pointed up in the air, God bless it. Must be torture for you, Doug Jordan. - It's not at all because there is nothing that for me to do with making love to animals. - And then right when you think you can't take it any longer, if you switch his back to Mrs. Madonna, go home and you go, oh, feel it. Sweating beads over there. - Yeah. - You wish you could freaking cast this bell and you're freaking Johnson and you're freaking... You wish you could freaking cast an invisibility club over your freaking rockard Johnson. - No, I am not magical in any way and I'm not sexually attracted anymore. - No, so you run up to your bedroom and you play a freakin' sorcerer's tone and be a freakin' rear end, call it a freakin' day. - Now, do you heat it up or do you cool it down? What's the trick to get the rod to need to drop? 'Cause I've always heard it was put in a hot stone in your rear end, but I'm not sure. It's kind of conflicting with the cold shower, conundrum, and so I'm wondering, Doug, please. - I mean, we could've just had a nice segment about remembering people and it's turned into how do you heat up a stone to shove it up your ass? - Or perhaps you run into the chamber of secrets the freakin' downstairs bathroom and play with your wand for a little bit and run back to the TV act like nothing happened. - No, I'm just gonna keep saying, you're gonna keep rattling off things and I'm just gonna keep saying no. - I don't do those things. - Well, one of these days you're gonna say yes and we'll be so glad to hear it. Last week, a homeowner in South London complained after transport for London erected a toilet for bus drivers outside his house, according to BBC. Brent Kemp, who is trying to sell the property, said the temporary laboratory was putting off potential buyers. TFL said it was an interim measure and it was working with Crowie Don Count, so to find an alternative location for a permanent facility, but Kemp argued it should have never been placed so close to his home. Kemp acknowledged the importance of facility for bus drivers, but suggested the toilet could be placed further away from the residential area and school opposite. A turning circle a little further down the road would be more suitable, Mr. Kemp suggested, but rules about Greenbelt Land could make it difficult. A spokesperson for TFL said it's really important that bus drivers are able to access toilet facilities while working and these play a vital role in enabling everyone to travel safely. This is a temporary facility installed as an interim measure while a permanent location can be identified and TFL is currently working with Croydon Council to investigate the possibility of moving the temporary facility or building a permanent facility at a nearby location. So, what we have here, a housing issue, a real estate issue, a bathroom issue. Now, I believe it's every man, woman, or third things, right, to figalate, urinate, and a s***alate in a toilet. Now, the difference being is when it comes to bus drivers. These are generally disgusting people with poor diets who sit for the most of their day eating pepperoni and cheese and everyone knows it. And the slop that flops out of their rear ends can be smelled from miles away. This man must be living in hell. Yeah, you won't be hearing no ringing arguments on drinking my behalf. What if we can blight on your rear end property to have a bathroom specifically for bus drivers? 'Cause, you know, if you've ever seen a bus driver in Gordon, I'm interested in guesstating, I mean, they have to be able to eat something that they can have in their rear hands. It's not like these guys can be driving around eating a bowl of vegan, vegetable, vegan soup while they're driving their friggin' bus. They're eating freakin' deli meats. They're eating freakin' deli meat, freakin' sandwiches, footlongs. Sometimes you wouldn't learn your, because they have to, 'cause they have to freakin' have something that'll last them from the moment they get on their riggin' bus until the moment, and honestly, until the moment they use this guy's riggin' toilet. Saucets, logs. A lot of sausage logs. Sometimes you'll have sausage logs and those will be wrapped around in various riggin' cold cuts, including creating chappishola, baloney, and turkey, and ham. And other vile, slimy deli meats that are only getting warmer and warmer is the day of riggin' progresses. And these are not meant to be in a friggin' warm, and also you have a sausage loaf at the center of the sandwich, which comes out by Manhattan is beginning to cook some of these riggin' cold cuts turning them so I am in for the riggin'. And this vestors and coagulates in the bottom of the riggin' bus driver until eventually we'll need to riggin' absolutely riggin' blast apart the riggin' toilet. And this has happened on this man's riggin' front lawn, and he has nothing but my riggin' sympathies, and I hope that he's able to, and honestly, if we can survive this whole riggin' hard deal. - Can you imagine, Doug Jordan, the pool of waste? - That is filling this man's front yard. Every day he has to come out and look at it bubbling over. And meanwhile, he's setting his dinette set every morning for the next open house, trying to get his home a little action on the marketplace and the pool festers on. Now you put yourself in that person's predicament, Doug Jordan. - Yeah, I mean, I would be pissed if I owned a house and they put a porta potty in front of it that only bus drivers can use. - It's a permanent structure, Doug Jordan. I've seen the pictures. - Oh, okay. Well, then I would be annoyed if they built a permanent structure and run on my house that only bus drivers can navigate into. - What's the solution? - Maybe they could possibly move it to a temporary, move the temporary facility or building, or they build a permanent facility at a different nearby location. - There's two effectively passing the freaking curse onto another unfortunate sand sack. - Maybe they have to put in a desolate location. - Perhaps they should put a hole in the seat of the bus driver so they can just go to the bathroom as they drive the bus. And maybe they can find a way for it to go down a tube into the freaking fuel calendar and figure out a way to turn it into a bus fuel. - Or could they possibly remove the driver all together and install a train? - Or a vacuum? - That's a very good point. You could have one fastened to as Dangley Johnson and one fastened up to the hole in the bottom of the seat. Everything could be feeling the bus, whether it's street and defecation, urination, or if we can cream, no freaking sediments on the bus driver, whatever he needs to do, we can make the day go by. But as long as it keeps the freaking bus going and you keep him giving him freaking gigantic submarine sandwiches full of the sausage loaf and had cheese, you can just continue to eat that and go to the bathroom and the bus will keep going and that will then perhaps that could just become his real life. - Well. - It could be the closest thing to an automated robot that is based on freaking human freaking cells, cells freaking organisms, Doug. - So I take your point, Sandy, but I see an opportunity for a third tube here. If there's one on his Dangley Johnson, one in his rear, one needs to be going in and out of his mouth, feeding him sausage loaf, feeding him liquid cheese, feeding him liquid meats. I'm thinking olive loaf, pastami. - Yeah, Jeff's shoulder, though. - Tursey. - Yeah. - He's got a switch for a mayonnaise. Turn it into a sandwich in his gullet. That way he doesn't need to stop and Schmir mayonnaise on top of bread. - Yeah, and perhaps another freaking tube that's blowing air into his eyes to keep his eyelids open. - Help keep him awake. - Yeah. - Very interesting. - And maybe there could be a little man who consistently freaking injects him with some sort of energy, stimulates serum. An energy similarly lays in or a serum of some sort. He could be, I'm imagining, I don't know why, but I'm imagining a little (beep) running up and down the aisles of the bus. And consistently, a bundle arm will come out, a little hatch in the back of the bus will open. This guy will scurry out, run up to the front, quickly hit him with a freaking syringe, filled with freaking energy serum. A countdown will begin. He'll have to scuttle down the freaking aisle of the bus once more and dive into his rear gonna hatch. The door will shut. I mean, what do you think, does this, I mean, could this become a reality? - Well, I really think that once he's inside that hatch, the tiny (beep) he will be utilized in some sort of way to convert the waste into fuel. Maybe through some sort of vigorous shoveling of different particles into different quadrants into the steam engine, sweaty and stink, it will be. - A field tracing where he'll be sifting through, maybe some of this, some of the more liquid discharge will be funneled into, oh, that power's the freaking, I don't know, the thrusters. And then there's more solid pieces. Okay, well, that can be, that we funnel through the girder system and that gets some of the pipettes steaming and that sort of acts as another thruster. And he's sort of, you know, he's got freakin' rubber gloves, he's back there, you know. So, like, essentially, shoveling cold, I mean... - And that same process is what makes the food that is then fed to the bus driver. - Oh, see, I was imagining he had a little tiny kitchenette back there, too, and he was just, you know, not necessarily making the food out of the, maybe obviously there's some of it would be, I mean, it's only so big of a space back there. Obviously some of the liquid fuel, let's call it fuel, will splash onto the sandwiches that he's preparing, but that's not, it's only because there's somewhat space in that little hatch. - Well, and I want to counter your point, this is England we're talking about, they have double decker buses, so there's quite a bit more space than you might think. And we're talking about a tiny little (beep) doesn't need a whole lot of space. - Well, that's what I was thinking was that because he's so small, they could just make the space very freaking small, and unless people see him when the freaking alarm goes off and he scurries up and down the aisle, people might not even know that there is a guy back there. - Now, the only thing I can see is that this activity will be very strenuous for the (beep) and he may have to inject himself with the energy serum. - I was thinking the same thing, that he's gonna need to be able to administer his own freaking energy serum because there's no way that he's gonna be able to keep up with all this. Obviously, he'll need to be eating some of those sandwiches also, but he could be doing half foot long because he doesn't need as much sustenance, but he'll need to be administered the same serum, perhaps on a freaking IV zip, injected directly into his neck where the temple of his freaking head, or you could funnel it up his freaking river. Oh, I know, I mean, I don't freaking know. This was just the beginning of this freaking idea and, you know, I don't know. I mean, does that show a freaking promise? Yes, is it freaking reasonable? I don't freaking know. So what say you, Doug Jordan? - Well, what if the (beep) has to expel waste and then what happens? - He does it right into the fuel cylinder. - Yeah, but he's got it. I mean, he's running around all over the freaking bus. How's he gonna do it right? And he's gonna stop in the middle of what he's doing and go and jump into the fuel cylinder? - All right, so there will be a hose attached to him. - A little, a smaller hose, obviously. Doesn't need to be as big as it is for the full grown bus driver. - I'm imagining a garden hose. And he'll, and maybe that can have some freaking give to it, so it can stay attached to him as he runs and scuttles up and down the aisle as well. 'Cause we can't have him unfastening and refastening this thing every time he goes into the freaking hatch. - Well, plus he's gonna be so used to wearing the hose that if he unfastens it and he's running around without thinking, he might excrete some sort of fluid. - Yeah, and I know you're thinking that, yes, obviously he will have to be completely naked for this entire thing to freaking work. - Well, yeah, why? Why will you have to be completely naked for this to work? - He will be hooked up with so many freaking hoses and wires that we can't, it would become a nuisance, dug to the whole freaking operation. - Yeah. - And it could cause some serious, I mean, obviously it could cause some serious issues. - Well, and I believe the passageway underneath that hatch that we spoke of earlier is quite narrow, so he will need to be naked and lubed up, covered in grease to slip through. - What about the bus driver? - Yeah, I think it still has to be naked as well, yeah. - Got a lot of tubes. - It's not like the kind of naked you're thinking of the dug because with all the attachments on them, there's room for the imagination. - Yeah, yeah. - So, well, geez, Louise, anything you want to add? - No, I think it's a great idea. I think, you know, we just got to get a taxpayers to pay for it after something. - Oinkers, twinkers, thrill freakin' secrets. It's been a great freakin' hilarious freakin' episode of Freakin' Our Week in review. We love you so very freakin' much. We're so freakin' hot, no (beep) before you stay safe out there and we'll see ya' freakin' next week. What were you sayin' about the taxpayers, Doug? - Well, it's the bus, so it's got to be government funded. So, you have to get approval from the people on the swimming to create this job of what would you call it, the caretaker of the bus. - Well, there's got to be some sort of (beep) union out there where these tiny little guys get together and fight for work. - Yeah, here's the only problem is that Freakin' Peter Dinklitz is gonna, he don't even want to cut at this 'cause he always, every time there's any word about the real little people of Freakin' Union, he always has to get his little fingers deep in there and see if he goes, "Well, I think I need a Freakin' piece." So, I think the best, of course, of action is just to get re-continklitz. - To do it on every single bus in London or wherever written. - Well, okay. - I know it's ethically questionable to clone a human, but what about cloning a (beep) - Definitely a gray area. - Not as bad, though. I was doing it to a full-grown person. - Man, but they haven't done a re-in research into that. - Yeah, and they come back angry out here. - And they're already as angry as it is. - Yeah, we better proceed cautiously. The ire of the (beep) is long, arduous, and hard to shuck up, Jordan. - You heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times, that ire of the (beep) is um, arduous, and dastardly, I think it's like he's done. - Yeah. (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - This has been a production of Our Week Studios. (explosion) - W-A-Y-O-L-P, Rochester. (upbeat music) (explosion) [BLANK_AUDIO]