Raw and Unfiltered sin pelos en la lengua!
Shoboy Show
Shoboy After Party 41 Special Guest: JValentino & Luz Pazos
When you're a Delta Sky Miles Reserve American Express Card member, your favorite meal in another city is just an online booking away. As you can see, we're going to find out what you're going to have with your morning-caffe seat on LA. Where's the best pubouceria in the bay? You don't think you're going to be able to do anything else because you're the Travel Foodie. The Delta Sky Miles Reserve American Express Card. If you travel, you know. Learn more at go.mx/unowreserve. Listening to your favorite podcast? That's smart. Earning your degree online from Southern New Hampshire University? That's really smart. With 24/7 access to coursework, no-set class times, and dedicated student support, you can go to school when and where it works for you. Low online tuition means you can even do it for less. And dedicated student support means we'll be with you from day one to graduation and beyond. Join a community of learners just like you. Go to snhu.edu today to start your free application. We have a beauty queen, comedian, actress, and co-star of the comedy special Comedy Chingonas on HBO Max. Let me introduce another guest right here. We also have comedian, actor, writer, producer, DJ, baby, daddy. Let's start with this. This is why I'm telling you, you would have so much fun with a short king like Jay Valentino or myself, but you always this as short dudes. I truly do, and I'm so sorry. We are all the same size laying down. What's going on? That is very true, and I learned that in Hawaii. The only experience here. Yeah, I got laid in Hawaii. I just had a good time. I know, honestly, long story short, I decided to hop on Tinder because my flight was laid over an extra day, so I decided to hop on Tinder, be for the streets. I met a guy who took me for my last little, you know, Aventura, let's just say, I ended up on the beach, and that's it. Let's just say that guy went snorkeling and not an ocean. I was a beach front view, baby. That's how I'm saying. It was fun. It didn't say Aloha. He said Aloha. I was like, hold on, let me move it. Jay Valentino, bro, please stand up. They have signed up. Defend us, stand up for us, short kings, bro. Why should Primavane give us more of a chance? First of all, we have a longer lifespan. Statistically, we have a longer lifespan. Okay. Also, short guys could also go up on you. And one more down the earth, Primavane. I like go down, go up. And what were you doing with math? Oh my gosh. Yes. Have you ever given a chance to short kings on a soto los chaparritos, or do you like taller men, Lanita? No, no, I like just men with money. She likes them like Kim likes them. Binga, it doesn't matter the size. It doesn't matter the size. I mean, of their water. That's the wallet, of course. Ah, so see. Luz, you have a very interesting story because you immigrated to Peru. Chimpu! If you know, you know. And then you don't like, it isn't a lot of our countries in Latin America. Yo soy mi hicano. You know, we're not exposed to too many other races, right? So coming to the US, all of a sudden, you're exposed to men de total mundo in one place. What has it been for you dating men de otarrasas via? Well, it's been challenging dating, why men? Because, you know, I can't hear because, you know, just thinking it's gonna be great. But these guys are cheap as f***ing. Yes. You mean, they don't want to treat you to the dinner or? They like to pay, right? Like, I had like so many, like they asked, you know, they just see that dinner and they ask when the check comes, like, "Hey, do you want to split the bill?" Split the bill. Yeah. No, and at that point, you leave. Yes, girl. You literally split. And you're like, "Bye!" Oh, I had so many dates that I was just, I was like, "No, this is not for me, and I will live in the middle." You know, mustada, sassí, sin pagarana. See, that's the thing, short kings pay the tab. Okay, another place. No, no, no, no, no. Chaparitos is that they have to compensate with personality. And, you know, "Oh, boy." Jey Valindiró. And it's Shabói. Mejo. It has to be gracious, you know. But, yeah, all the guys are like, they take young hikes, which is the worst thing ever. Like, why will I want to go to exercise on a date, right? Like, it's like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Those heels that look like when I cross the border to come to... [Laughter] I'm like, "Yeah, cross that way." I'm like, dude, I can't hear for our conditioning. I don't know. [Laughter] I love that. Like, why do you want to take a hike that reminds you of "Cruzandola" from Tarentine Granaue? Like, why? And, Luz, where are you meeting these men? Are they online or just men at the bar or...? Well, online, I used to... I used to date it. Tender and all that, okay. And then I was like, "No, by the bar, this is even worse." Because they're just, they send you pictures of their... Right? What are we going to do with that? Same thing when I get those. Okay, yeah, I'm like, yeah, like... And in the middle of the night, I don't know. Like, for me, since I'm from Peru, it has to be an emergency if someone calls me in the video. I'm like, "Oh, my God, maybe something happened to my mom." And I see like, "Oh, what is this? A pinkie?" What the... [Laughter] And then I see that Jay Valentino just sent me a text. [Laughter] Here's the thing, I like 20 girls. [Laughter] I said, "I don't sound like that." Hey! Damn Jay like that. I don't know any... Since we're talking about dating. Coming up next, I want to talk to Jay Valentino, bro. There's a lot of people in your boat in regards to still dating, but they're now in their 40s. I don't know what that's like, especially when you bring them home to meet your mom. By the way, I love your mom, bro. She's a whole star. Coming up next, we'll dive into that. Hold on. [Music] Listening to your favorite podcast? That's smart. Earning your degree online from Southern New Hampshire University? That's really smart. With 24/7 access to coursework, no-set class times, and dedicated student support, you can go to school when and where it works for you. Low online tuition means you can even do it for less. And dedicated student support means we'll be with you from day one to graduation and beyond. Join a community of learners just like you. Go to snhu.edu today to start your free application. The legends are true. Unlock manga comics with every meal and sit down for a new anime short every week, only at McDonald's. Spot-up-up-up-up-up-go. And participating in McDonald's for limited time will supplies last. [Music] I say give us a key with our special guests, Jay Valentino, Loose Passos. By the way, don't miss out the next show. Going down this Thursday, March 14th. At Labs Unlimited in Sacramento, Caliphas. Buy your tickets now on their Instagram handles in their bio. Jay Valentino, what is your IG, Armano? It's at Jay Valentino, just like that. Jay Valentino, not Jay AY, just Jay Valentino. There it is. Iloose, call us to Instagram. @loosepassosfunny. Loosepassosfunny, eat the website? Loosepassos.com. Loosepassos.com. All right. Jay, we get a lot of listeners calling in, bro. And they're in their 40s and still dating, either because they're separated, divorced, or they just move out of the mom's house. So what is it like for you being 40 and dating, especially being a single day actor, huh? You know, it's a little tough, man. But right now, I'm dating older women, man. I'm into older women in the 40s. Yeah, like super old, like in their Cougar stage, like 33. 33! And younger. Let me finish, let me finish, okay. Let me finish. That's what she said. Um, it's a little tough, you know, because I do, I would want to date women my age. They're just in bed by 9.30. Yeah, it's hard out there. Um, but it is a little tougher. It is, I do prioritize my son before anybody. Claro. And yeah, it's different, man. It's different. Yeah, these girls are fast movers, especially girls my age. They want to ring real quick. Really? Yes. You mean they're looking for like a commitment? Oh my goodness. That's crazy. Yes. Is it pressure like right off the bat? It's right off the bat, right off the bat. It's like, we already hung out twice. Where's, you know? Where's this going? Where's this going? What are we? What are we? Don Tino. You took me to Cheesecake Factory. Oh, what are we? I love it. Bro, and it's got to be tough too to bring home to mom. And can we clear something up real quick? Do you still live with your mom? Do you want to take a little? Because in all your videos. Yeah, show why. You bring the women to your house and your mom's there. Edgar. Then he called me my girlfriend the name. I do not live with my mom. She lives with me. No, no, I don't. I don't know. I've made two skits about that. I made two skits. They did well. They did like half a million views both of them. And people still ask me. Do you live with-- There was a girl hanging out with me the day. It was a girl. Surprisingly. I know, I know. You guys are surprised too. I know what I look like. I get it. The controller that's transitioning to be gay. There was a girl hanging out. She's like, can I make noise? I'm like, yeah. I live alone. She's like, oh, I thought your mom lived. I think I lived with your mom. She's also whispering. It's in turbo tits. I don't know. Don't get ahead of yourself. No, I live by myself. Yeah, I live alone, man. I have my own place. And what's the hardest thing to get your mom to approve these girls that you bring over? The hardest thing is when they have a OnlyFans. She's like, not crazy about that. Equal. And yeah. An OnlyFans. A daughter like Bette, I think your mom should open her OnlyFans. She's cute. Yeah, she's cute, you know? I told her, my mom. You should start your own website. OnlyFans is Spanish. Only Abanikos. [LAUGHTER] I love it. That's what I was thinking. I'm a fan, there it is. That's what's up, bro. That's funny. Oh, yeah. Luz. [SPEAKING SPANISH] What has been the toughest thing about dating? Just period. Because Primavana is out here as well. And this has been tough for her. And guys are all of a sudden ghosting. [SPEAKING SPANISH] Like you said earlier. Making Primavana paid for dates? Like you already paid for-- [INTERPOSING VOICES] You already paid for your boobs, you know? Why would you pay? You already paid for my boobs. [LAUGHTER] You already paid. This was supposed to get me free food, you know? This is the promise to get free food. Um, I think as a man, they want you to do the work, which I-- I'm from South America. I'm not willing to do the work. Right. Like you will like-- I will have like when I was dating, I was-- I will blow guys right away at some point. I was like-- they will say, oh, meet me in this place. I'm like, mother [BLEEP] I'm not going to meet you. You're close to your house, so you have a short drive. [SPEAKING SPANISH] You have to come to pick me up. There it is. So [BLEEP] you in cancel. [LAUGHTER] That's what Kim tells me and me. I'll meet a guy halfway. I like to drive because if I need to leave, I'm ready to go. I'll peace out. And if they ask me to pay, if they ask me to split, I'll be like, you know what, let me pick up this check because I make my own money and I can. And thank you, goodbye. That's too white for me. That's too white for me. Well, I'm just saying, I'm for the streets, girl. So it's hard for me to not go out and like talk [BLEEP] or talk crap, you know? Like, I'm just-- I'm just blunt and direct. You're blunt. So I'd rather just-- There's someone say blunt. I know, I'm like, raise it. I might spend this too peace out when you're close to your home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then, you know, you're like, oh, I'm like-- I just feel like I'm more comfortable. I'm over cheaper, you know? Like, you gotta look on your wallet. Like, I'm the one. So they have to come to my place. We're going to go to a place close by. And then like, that's how my boyfriend, I met him. Yeah. I was like, I was so sick, OK? So I was like, oh, this guy lives in Marina, right? I'm not an hour. OK, well. He hit me out when hearing was Hollywood. And he was like, I'm always in was Hollywood. I can come see you whenever you want. Underline. He's willing to drive. And I was like, OK. And he's like, where do you want to go? OK, and then he was like, it was so easy because he just said the right thing, and he's like, I can pick you up. What do you want to say? I'm placed by my house because I don't want you. I have a rule. I'm not going to make him spend much money in the first day. He said, I don't know. Sure. So talking to a cheap place, walking distance from my house is something goes down I can walk by. And then he showed up in time, which is another thing I like to enforce. Love. Yeah, when they are like, I'm 15 minutes late, bye. Chop. Wow. I was Taliban at that point. I was like, I just want to give whatever I want. And then he did all the right things. So I just, I found him. But before him, everybody wants me to do the work. And I'm like, I'm so American, you know? Like, we are still in the third world. Like, we're still, this has to pay for your survival. So deal with the situation. So are you dating him? He's a wager? He's Italian. He's European. Oh, like me. Meet your Riso with Dosepas. Riso. Riso. Yeah. He has a green card. He's a citizen. So you're married for the love. No, I already got married first for the green card. OK. I should check that box. I already did it. And I like, now this time it has to be for, like, life insurance or something else, right? It's like a million bucks. 401K, I like that. Yeah, 401K, she's like, I need a 401B. Let's go. She's right. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Jay Valentino, I absolutely love you, bro, because not only are you an amazing comedian and you're, like, self-made, bro, but you're a dope-ass DJ. Oh, yeah, bro. La Mera Nenta, bro. What's one of the wildest places that you've ever DJed? You know? Obviously, Bolas, Quinta, and As, et cetera. Have you ever DJed, like, at a strip club or something like that? I actually was a strip club DJ. Wait, what? 18 years. No, you're kidding me. That's right, guys. Remember, the closer you sit, better the tip, nicer the strip. Here she is. Enjoy the show. You're going to make it rain and go home with the stain. Here she is. Pleasurable Priscilla with song, everyone. We've got a two-for-one special going on in the bag. [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH] [LAUGHTER] [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH] [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH] She belongs to the streets. What would be some of our stripper names, Jay Valentino? Since you were with strippers for 18 years, Caraf, we go around the room. We got Micho Rizos, Shordu, right here. All right. We got Cam la Vuccona, Eddie, by the way. He's a 29-year-old virgin. OK, you are. He looks like a virgin. He looks like a virgin. [LAUGHTER] Yeah, that smile is not helping either. It's too wholesome. And the combover is not helping at all. Oh, he's gross. I dressed him. It's OK. It looks like a Mexican Jimmy Neutron. [LAUGHTER] That's OK. [NON-ENGLISH SPEECH] Hey. He would be Blazer, for sure. That's a good stripper name for Lamby. Is it pretty? Yeah. Her name's Temptation. Cam la Vuccona. I'm tempted because she looks innocent. [LAUGHTER] She has no spassels would be cinnamon. Spassels would be cinnamon. Cinnamon. Cinnamon bun. I would be Chorizo. And she would be Avenue, because she belongs to the avenues. Oh, that's me. Avenue is-- that's my new name. I'm about to put it on my ID handle. I like avenue. I like to come run this. [LAUGHTER] Yeah. Exit here. Exit here. Do the hell I exit. Yo, that's what's up, man. Well, we appreciate y'all hanging out with us. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Felicidades, man. I can't imagine how challenging it is to always be ready to go to do a comedy show and so on and so forth, and the traveling, and being away from family, and friends, and so on and so forth. But that's his part. That's his part. You know how about your boy, you love your family when you're away from them? Luce is like, this is why I am a comedian. Adios, Olivia. Let's go, bud. Appreciate you guys bringing so much laughter to our world, to our country, because we need it, man. Again, social media handle J. @JValentino, once again, catches at laughs unlimited. March 14th, it's a 7 p.m. show in Sacramento. Luce Bossos will be headlining. I'll be co-headlining JValentino Luce Bossos. laughs unlimited. Don't forget to come to the show next Thursday. In Sacramento, my Instagram means Luce Bossos funny. See you there. Love it. Adios, Valentino. Appreciate you guys. Let's go. Let's go. [MUSIC PLAYING] Listening to your favorite podcast? That's smart. Earning your degree online from Southern New Hampshire University, that's really smart. With 24/7 access to coursework, no set class times, and dedicated student support, you can go to school when and where it works for you. Low online tuition means you can even do it for less. And dedicated student support means we'll be with you from day one to graduation and beyond. Join a community of learners, just like you. Go to snhu.edu today to start your free application. The legends are true. Overbuilding power. The sauce of testing. Yes. The most legendary sauce has arrived as McDonald's transforms into the anime world of McDonald's. The greatest flavors unite in all news. Haverie chili McDonald's sauce to make your 10 piece with nuggets, fries, and sprites ultra powerful. Unlock manga comics with every meal and sit down for a new anime short every week. Only at McDonald's. Bada, bah, bah, bah, go. And participating in McDonald's for limited time will supplies last.