We Are Douchebags
Okay I think we're getting back on the right track.
We got to celebrate our differences We got to celebrate our differences Welcome to we are douchebag the show where we are douchebag. I'm your host CJ Scalia my gender pronouns are they them and I identify as race gender and slur fluid hello my name is Pavis and pavement my gender pronouns are concrete because I'm rock hard and it's nothing new I'm Andre my pronouns are that nigga and identify as Paves biggest op biggest off I knew it was you this tire time yeah I was wondering who's teeping my fucking house like crazy recently doing exit your truck dude why the fucking truck me fucking asshole you know that's okay because I have your dog do you yeah I do you know rape it what the fuck is wrong with you what he sick bastard no you're gonna rape his fuck no I have it for ransom ransom or you're gonna rape it but he doesn't pay right no I'm not gonna know I was just gonna get put down a sick ransoms that I mean would you rather me put it down how do you sleep at night with a blanket pave yeah what else did you did you expect that we would think you're a furry who has a guy's dog for ransom obviously you're gonna rape it you know what all I have to say to that is get her done yeah get get it done like you're gonna do it's like no I would never do anything to an animal like that to ever does that you were sick fuck you unless it's a sexy animal no no no matter I don't care it's an animal still an animal what if it's like an anthropomorphic animal explain like it's an animal but it has like the fuck me eyes would you do it no because I'm not afraid but you are so you know what I mean maybe I would do it but maybe not consensually I don't know if I'd be able to hold myself fox bitch that you brought up from that one movie that nobody ever heard of Diane Foxington yeah what if it was her you know I would like you slide up on her hi if it's what no I would try my moves on her you know but it but she looks like a real fox but she had the personality of her oh it's like still a fox yeah no I mean it's still no you sick bastard well put me a little extra sexy one a sexy what it's a sexy one did you hear about that sexy Fox did you hear about that bill that passed in Oklahoma I think it was in Oklahoma where if you're fur you can get taken by the pound legally oh did I hear some shit like that I don't even I don't remember what it was do you remember the details at fairies in schools could be taken by animal control and yeah if new Oklahoma bill passes if one Oklahoma represented be taken by animal control yeah you're capping no I'm not this is an actual thing they got their priority street furries animal control Oklahoma must shows up in the search okay they they filed the bill so that doesn't mean it's law it just means that they're trying to get it through okay okay well still I think that's you're gonna go up there yourself and you're gonna like rigged the polls yeah you would do something like that I would but uh what do what do we hate this week I'll go first I've been doing some door dash for you know for some extra cash on the side and the one thing that I find most annoying your your only cash on the side yeah well that an unemployment that I get weekly but you're 6k yeah my 6k my 401k is in shambles but my yeah get it done my the door dash it's pretty good money for work from where I'm at like a lot of people order especially at night but the thing that I hate the most is delivering to fucking motels or apartments at night I had this one thing in one instance going over door dashing to this hotel not no well not hotel motel in the middle of the fucking downtown I have my the bag of food and upstairs I just see this crackhead like a crackhead woman kneeling down on the ground pounding on the door saying please let me in Jason Jason please let me in and then like try to raising her up no fuck that and then I try to like avoid her because the person was delivering to it was like right next to her and then these people more crackheads start coming out of the fucking rooms yo shut up bitch fuck out of here bitch like yeah so I had to find like a different way to get up in order to deliver the food which I did but as soon as I delivered it I got the fuck I got out of there as fast as I could it was so dirty I'm going to shoot up this military base why the fuck do they feel the need to fly right when I start recording Jesus Christ what the fuck that's what's up sorry Pave you're gonna have to edit this out but yeah I thought you were gonna say that you hated delivering to black people because I did DoorDash for a bit and I hated delivering to black people because they never left good tips honestly that too but I would rather get tipped less than people always live in apartments yeah that well I mean I was gonna say I've ran into more white and Mexicans in apartments here than I have black people to be honest really the only black person I've ever delivered to was living off of campus and the other one was at the motel no I would deliver to black bitches all the time with like five kids and then I would look inside and their house was a mess and the kids were always screaming and I oh my god I hated delivering into the hood like were you not were you yeah you know the I'm not gonna dox us I could just sense it by the by the base I guess over there you know how that straight up like the hood yeah yeah yes there yeah yeah I hated delivering there because it was always about like you would get out of your car and there would always be a group of black people right there just staring out yeah they always stare like what the fuck like what do you want from me bro waiting still you're like what do you think they fucking didn't try shit with me though cuz I'm a tough ass fucking Mexican yeah God so far nothing has happened to me but getting parking in downtown fucking sucks so impossible though fucking DoorDash was 15 minutes late cuz of it and then I tried explaining to the dude hey sorry it took me so long I couldn't find parking in this old-ass white man just look at me okay yeah yeah like it couldn't be give the fuck you just closed his door one time I couldn't find the apartment that I was delivering ice cream to and I think I showed up to the order like fucking 20 minutes late bro what's the fuck was completely melted cuz it was the middle of summer holy shit and I just gave it to the dude and I was like dude I'm so sorry but I put the address into maps and it just gave me the complete wrong address like cuz the apartment complex was put into like two sections and it was showing me only the section like one section and it was the incorrect section so I had to like figure it out by myself dude that happened to me too I was I got an order for McDonald's now I had already was using the GPS because on DoorDash it lets you go to an area that has that's like a hotspot and I put that direction to maps well if I get an order I would have to like leave the route that I'm taking and then put in the new one because if I try to put it in the new one it's not gonna give it to me it's just still gonna give me the same one I was using so this entire time I was driving 22 minutes to where I thought was McDonald's but no it was never that and then when I checked the how fucking far the McDonald's was it was like 22 minutes again like I just passed it oh excuse me that's fine sorry I was holding that in for a minute what do you what do you hate this week Andre I don't really hate anything this week this week's been pretty good you need a fucking bring some shit pretty uneventful every single I think you're just a happy motherfucker because you never hate anything nothing bad has happened to me man what can I say what happens in your places yeah what happens in your places Andre what the fuck even goes on over there bro nothing oh my god these jacks I ran into weaker every now and then that's about it and no one that work pissed you off no not really do you have some relaxation airplane ASMR yeah yeah I do hear that no but I probably will in editing okay you said there's like a crack head that shows up every once in a while and that's the most eventful thing that happens in your life yeah essentially sounds very peaceful I think I'd probably be happy like you too if I was living your life that's pretty boring you should um talk to that almost person and make him your slave pay him and like honey buns or Benny Ben and Jerry's ice cream no threaten him with the honey buns like the microwaves once all the a thousand degree ones true or could just for gas lean on what does the guy saying and I guess like into his eyes yeah if you guys ever burned your eyes with bleach before no no I haven't cuz I'm not a retard no what an odd question to ask no I was just wondering you know cuz I mean I haven't heard of anyone burning their eyes with bleach in a while in a while when when did that happen to someone that you know 2016 who did that there's some guys playing with this fucking like toy it was like a toilet they had to roll a dice and press on the fucking toilet and sometimes it would spray water in them where they switched out to water to bleach and then one of them got fucking sprayed in the eyes yeah that was the last time I never heard of it I think you give me like brain cancer yeah I don't know I like when you told that story I couldn't react I just felt disappointed I'm not the one that did it why are you disappointed yeah it's not what a pub a pole mantis pretty much yeah and you asked I answered the word I'm sorry Tom is nobody gonna ask me what I hated this week is it the same thing it is every week what do I hate every week I don't know he doesn't even know you're saying hating again for no reason I do not say it I mean I don't know Jews I mean yeah but everybody hates women I don't right now I hate that fucking jet that's flying overhead God fucking damn God I will actually go outside and shoot it down right now I hate this week so the topic for this week as we as we already know what did what did we talk about last week guys topics to talk about this week yes yeah talk about today yeah and what what won slurs you be I was trying to make the spreadsheet and you know I put a lot of time and care and effort into these spreadsheets despite what Mike slash Vegeta says I always try to make them look good I try to make the numbers make sense I put a lot of care and effort into these the end one of the things I put the most effort into is finding the pictures every week to put underneath the spreadsheet for reference and this week since we're talking about like racial slurs I was trying to find some good racist pictures to put under here and I couldn't fucking find any I went on Google and it's impossible to find racist caricatures now I had to go to Bing to find the picture of of of the Asian and it's not even like an actual Asian it's a picture from South Park because I tried looking up racist Asian stereotype on Google and nothing showed up you think it's a conspiracy I think it is they're trying to make my fucking show all woken gay but it's not gonna happen I wouldn't let it happen I had to go to Bing that's how you know I was committed the sissy liberal media the sissy liberal media that's what I was gonna put for the picture of the black dude I forgot hold up trying to censor spreadsheets never let that happen I'd go to war you'd go to war for the show on the yes black dude real quick of the prize in coming from you man we can get a banger spreadsheet I'll go to war yeah this one is a pretty pretty good one I think it seems like the most racist one is the Jewish one I wonder why that is what about the new picture that I just put up there I have to refresh it's a little bit better yeah fucking drink for those yeah it's a drink in blackface that one famous picture but since we already brought it up we can go ahead and get into the the categories and the attributes so starting from the bottom we have these are racial slurs ranked from the worst slurs to the best slurs we have kike zipper head chink dune coon cracker latinx cum skin slash cum stain gray faggot pavement ape and yakubian ape and up at the top we have speech intellect reading wits weaponization cod lobby nigga tree penis size racism esoteric knowledge Twitter support career advancement race play creativity and credit score do we have any questions about what any of the categories what's the fucking pavement ape oh you think that refers to you no I just want to know what it is that's not you pay that refers to black people a pavement ape yeah this was porch monkey like taken oh porch monkey is another good one should I should I keep it as pavement aper change it I've never heard that before yeah what the fuck you've never heard pavement eight okay we could do slash porch monkey I'm just on next level racism I suppose okay any other questions about what the other ones are I don't really have a question I just have a statement I think this is the most obvious mystery category so far oh I wonder what it could possibly be if it's not gonna be what I think I'll be sure I wonder stick around to find out until the last few minutes of the episode oh wait I'm going to skip ahead Andrea you don't have a question for gray faggot no no one's pretty self-explanatory oh so great bag it I guess has a question about it but he just wanted to project it onto you cuz we saw that so gray faggot refers to grayskin people like Andre yeah and yeah in my opinion it's one of the most disgusting slurs a person could use because his kind is extremely rare so for you to call him not only great but also a faggot is really degrading okay and you could be an ape that's for white people oh okay yeah do you know who yet Yakuob is Jacob no I do of course pay for it no he's the guy who invented white people he was a evil scientist with the big talking about that black dude I think we've talked about him on the show before he's awesome wasn't he on like a spreadsheet for the top black people oh that's ah we forgot to put him on the on the second one he should have made it on there well he already had a chance on the first one he didn't even win though that's okay but okay that's all I needed to know you guys know what a zipper head is yeah is it for Japanese people we're trying not not necessarily Japanese but yes it's an Asian slur I think they I think it refers to like Korean Vietnamese people you know back in nom they would like run over their heads and it would leave like zipper tire marks on their skulls a fucking wrestler so that's what that means when was the last time you used it like I like a year ago I disconnected I disconnected I think that the the fucking Jews heard me talking about them what was the last thing you heard about me I honestly have no idea the zipper head you were saying was different it was yeah you're saying that zippered came from like Vietnam or like Korea yeah it's pretty cool I think the Jets are like trying to disconnect my Wi-Fi which is what just happened but I might need to use your discord audio in order to fucking do this shit if there's gonna be jets flying past you every second I don't know what the fuck they're doing you would think I was in Ukraine or some shit it's like six at night bro like sick almost seven you know what pisses me off they'll be flying oh my god bro the other shut up the other night they were flying at fucking midnight it was literally midnight and I couldn't fucking sleep because I don't know what the fuck they were doing they were doing fucking barrel rolls up in the sky I couldn't sleep okay and I wake up early for work it's like one in the morning and they're just up there flying they can't do that shit during the middle of the day when they would have better visibility I think it's the train them for night missions I guess they're they're targeting me yeah they heard you calling the troops gay they couldn't have that mm-hmm I think that's that is what it was but back to the spreadsheet you guys know what a cum skin slash cum stain is that doesn't sound like an actual slur yeah that's just sounds like an insult I don't know who would have like oh it refers to white people and their cummy white skin hmm that's awesome that's awesome but then you have crack a there too huh you have cracker there too though I should weigh him yeah that's why I put it because cracker is so overplayed like that's why in creativity it's out of negative six because it's so overused everybody knows what it is everybody knows what it means everybody says it it's like I always thought honestly I always thought that cracker was more of a compliment than like a slur than something that should be offensive because that means that like you're you're admitting that that white person you're insulting is like a slave owner and that they have power over you so cracker is a weak-ass slur how would you like feel knowing that your ancestors had slaves I want to give a shit why would I care I would feel empowered be like shut up my ancestors my ancestors enslaved your ancestors oh in that case yeah I feel like if I were a little white boy like I would probably like use that in Call of Duty lobbies or something a little white boy yeah now you're just a little Mexican boy yeah sadly my ancestors got beasted on by the Spaniards yeah I could argue you're latinx don't you ever say that to me why is it on the slur list had a lot of latinx yeah if you ever say that to a Mexican I hope you know that like they will kill you that's probably that is worse than you than any slur you could call a Mexican you you call a Mexican like a wetback like they'll laugh it off that you call them a stick they'll laugh it off you call them Latinx they get pissed the fuck off bro bro no one's ever said that to me it made its way as a slur so my favorite app I funny repurposed latinx as an actual slur and anytime a Mexican comments they'll tell them to shut the fuck up latinx dude I'd actually kill myself I was called that I'm about to because you you called me that right now I was just trying I was just trying to use it you know I'm bisexual meaning okay buddy okay come skin alright latinx okay come stand my burrito bandit see that's funny fucking tortilla person see it you could call me anything and it'll slide right off but like latinx like penetrates the bulletproof armor I think the worst part is probably some piece of shit white person's gonna call you that thinking that they're being like and make me more mad wait what would be more offensive them saying it to try to offend you or someone trying to say it genuinely I don't know which is worse someone trying to offend you no but if someone did that like fucking Latinx genuinely I feel like that would be much worse cuz like dude how can you like just tell some like latinx and think that's all right at my graduation for my community college what when I went to the ceremony they they referred to the beaters as fucking Latinx oh my god yeah the the like principle or whatever she was like as a member of the latinx community like that whole fucking I didn't even want to go but I got signed up for it by somebody and then that whole ceremony was the most like fucking playing victim shit I've ever heard in my life every single person who went up there was trying to talk about how hard it was because they were a minority like there was like two black dudes that went up they're talking about oh I faced many challenges that's a black man and then the this fucking Hispanic lady as a Latinx woman it was incredibly hard for me well all of you made it to the top position so clearly it wasn't that hard in community college so it was just like really annoying cuz I was like I feel like it makes no difference at all if you just do your fucking school work yeah your school work isn't gonna be fucking sexist yeah it's not gonna they're not gonna ask you what race you are and then mark you down a couple points based on the race each test but did you know black people have more of a chance of getting into colleges yes I did know that yeah and women as well so if you ever a guy just like apply as gender fluid and then you're like easily slide by that's actually solid advice you could pull it off yeah you could be like a little femme boy and go into class or just go and completely as a straight male and then if they accuse you of not actually being a woman you're like who are you to say that that'd be pretty believable for pay if I think for pay if yeah show up the class and die high yeah you guys don't know this but he's actually the smallest one in the group and he's built like a little breedable twink he's a little small be where we just forgetting the little pose that we made on the weird douchebags Instagram of a clear fucking shoulder to shoulder comparison of how small you are yeah but you're forgetting that you photoshopped that I did not photoshopped that way big no I did not that's like that that was like actual unraw unedited footage that's not fake yeah but you're forgetting that I posted a back picture and that everyone was able to see how big and buff and massive I am you can be five four four and still be muscular no but I'm actually six foot in Jack this fuck why don't you post a back picture I'm only posting pictures I like to post see TikToks okay post video do like a back reveal okay well do can you do a cat girl TikTok dance with your ears I would have to find them I would have to find them oh thank God you lost though no I mean I can probably find them I just put them away you should wear the ears and the gloves and then I'll post that to the Instagram yeah fucking riot I would never do such a thing like your spider-man - my spider-man you're hiding it it's calling to you like it's calling to you like oh oh or you could wear like a bandana a bandana and sunglasses so you could be like the cool bad boy furry I think I'll pass on that your guess well I would never do why don't you post them Andre wearing the furry ears I would have to censor that pretty heavily you just have to censor I guess I could post it can one of you guys we send it are you okay with me posting that Andre yes it's fun okay just rescinded it to me yeah so what we got going on so I want to be talking about I want to go to let tinks for Twitter support only out of five pretty sure the word let tinks was made in Twitter it should be yeah out of 20 yeah I was about to say should be you think it's like maximum Twitter support yeah that she was made I don't know cuz I was thinking that like everyone like the white bitches would be pushing it and like the local Latinx would be pushing it but then like the actual macho alpha Latino men would push back against it but then again I think you're right like macho alpha dudes aren't on Twitter either on Facebook Instagram they're on Facebook Instagram and I funny I funny okay brother yeah okay I'll change it to 20 and the cum skin and cum stain being only out of negative six for career advancement isn't it easier for isn't technically easier for white people to be accepted in like um workspaces office jobs so career advancement is actually if you were to be talking to the CEO of a company and you accidentally slipped out that slur how likely they would be to give you a position so like calm like calm is in that slur so negative 10 like negative 10 yeah I feel like it would be pretty hard for like you to come back from that because like oh this guy's talking to Elon Musk and he talked about cum stains that guy's never getting a job with him yeah I think that would kill his job chances pretty hard negative tennis suitable I think the gray fag it which should go down I don't think it should be at what wits gray fag it with you don't think that's a I don't think there's one who invented it pave you don't think it's a witty oh I thought you meant them themselves are witty oh no no that's like how witty of a slur it is 15 if someone pulled that out on you like you would think like oh fuck that's actually smart and like intellectual 15 Wow look at Paves with no you're so retarded that don't you didn't even know what which was how am I gonna put it to a 15 now I kind of I started thinking of the people I didn't thought of them as just the slurs themselves I thought of the people behind these slurs you know we're talking like about this I think there was like one thing where I was like okay yeah this is about the people behind the slurs but I can't remember which one it was cracker cracker what about what about cracker I think penis I should go up penis I should go up for crackers yeah why do you say that because it's mostly black people using that term oh no that Wow I'm so like smart and retarded at the same time so penis size actually does refer to to the group that the slur refers to so you're you're telling me you had no idea what it was this entire time yeah I kind of forgot until we just segued if that's the case and the latinx should go down to like a fucking a zero people that use it are fucking just no no no no no no no no no no you're mistaken that refers to latinx people like that's how big their penises are and what about cracker crackers yeah he wanted it up for 20 because he said mostly black people use that slow no he said black people use the slur yeah so he was trying to put it up because he was referring to black people but like a six like I feel like white people have like decent sized digs yeah that I'd know so it would be like a six okay like average above that slightly above average if that's the case why is a grey faggy at eight should be out because I feel like okay calm down buddy yeah should be at 12 things should go down no I don't 15 five now you know what 20 no yes first it's a 25 oh my god what let's go no no okay first of all Andrea are you a bitch for that you don't tease me like that listen when you showed us that one time I've never met another grey faggy in my life you're the only one who I've ever met so a 10 is like giant bro like eight is like you're you're up there 20 is reserved for like like I don't even know yes so I feel like it eight is like a good size he's just so fucking you should be a self-conscious I think like if I were to picture it's probably like three quarters the size of my forearm like I feel like that's a good size real for that like like it's good we could do like 7.5 if you really want to like humble brag yeah no okay yeah 7.5 you're still might you go a bit cod lobby for you could be an ape yeah who's using that in a cod Bobby yeah I feel like cod people aren't smart enough to be used to be throwing that out there exactly so it should be negative because if you yourself say you could be an ape you're just gonna get bullied for it and called slurs they would bully you for using that slur yeah that's fair what do you what are you thinking it's a negative five negative five that's that's all right why you crack around in 20 then for a cod Bobby yeah cuz that's the only insult that black people like have at the ready for white people at all times especially in cod bobby's like I feel like that's true that's that's the only slur they have at their disposal at all times like cuz a black people don't really use slurs against white people they just call them like bitch add n***a stupid a nigga goofy a nigga it's a lot of add n***a type stuff so like crack at as n***a you know yeah yeah so crackers really the only slur that that black people have on the ready at all times would just fuck that word we need more that's why I've I've been trying to push cum stain for for a while because it's like I said like cracker is more of like a compliment than anything like we need new new words to use against white people because cracker isn't cutting it anymore it's 2024 mayonnaise master no see that's that's lame if someone called you a man like mayo monkey like that's a mayo monkey like I've heard that one thrown around but like them that's just calling them a monkey who likes man is I don't know there's there's no really like like the n-word like that has a power to it like you say that and and nations fear that word everyone gets employers will fire you on the spot for saying that there is no word you could say to a white people that that will happen for literally nothing yeah you're honestly right I mean they say colonizer but that's not even that bad see that's another compliment they like if I was right I'd be like yeah I did colonize everybody you're welcome thank you like these aren't good slurs bro they're just compliments you think crackers had to go down in a creativity then sorry yet a negative six I think I think negative six is like because it's a bit creative like the sound of the whip like the or whatever like like they crack the whip like that's kind of like it has a bit of creativity to it but not much like so I think like I said it's overplayed over used but it's not like negative 20 you know yeah the kikes penis penis I should go down to like 0.5 yeah I think you're right about that I don't even have to argue that was no actually you're wrong it should go lower lower 0.1 okay there we go watch my my Wi-Fi cut out again oh my god watch my fucking Wi-Fi just shut off but uh no I think how much longer do we have left in this episode we have 20 minutes we need to come up with a good slur for white people there is no good ones um well what can you really say about white people that's like an insult I don't know the the only thing I've been able to come up with is like hmm their skin is white like come oh come skin slash come stain most of them can't fucking cut most of them can't click okay but like what would you like tasteless or like flavorless like that's that's nothing Andre you're in a you're in a cook-off between you and a white person in the middle of Walmart you're roasting each other right it's like a 40-year-old white dude and he's he's ready to pull out the hard R what do you say to him to hurt his feelings I mean that's the thing you can't really attack his race I'm already nerfed at that point sorry I am trying to help your people I am trying to empower black people by giving them a proper slur to use against the cracker man right there's nothing there's nothing we got like what they're white like paper I thought like maybe like like vampire like they suck the soul out of everything but that's kind of cool like mosquito like if they call black people monkeys I guess white people would kind of be like mosquitoes like worthless like that would be a good insult a male packet male mosquito wonder bread wonder breath that sounds like a superhero name what about a wicker that wiggers exist no that's hard oh Andre said that was hard if you call a white person a wicker that's not gonna hurt their feelings how do you know oh maybe it might hey why don't you go into the living room pave go into the living room pave and call the the adoptive family that you're staying with wiggers yeah happens I couldn't even tell you what would happen to be honest they just look at you like what was that spic gardener no they what was that Latinx Latinx then you just kill yourself on the spot see white people are so good at coming up with slurs I don't know how they do it everything just rolls off the tongue with them well I mean like school shooters there that was one for like white people but that's only if they're like teenagers or like in middle school like as soon as they become adults there's like nothing much you can really say I don't know but that didn't apply to like all white people though it was a specific type of like weird white person but they were still white I think the answer could be in front of us I think it would have been done already feel as possible I don't know it would have to be like pig skin because they get all pink in the Sun like I don't know gosh guys put down in the comments below some white people slurs it's not possible yeah we're gonna have to concede no no no this is why this is why they're on top of the slur game because us minorities have a combined three brain cells if we're not able to come up with anything better all right hold up I'm gonna make a list real quick we got pig skin mosquito what else we got male monkey male monkeys actually kind of funny I feel like if you called the white dude like a male monkey he'd be caught off gardening like would you call me what the fuck did you just say yeah but then he would pull out like the n-word oh hit verse hick yeah hick that's a that's one that I feel like is underutilized it's so tame though redneck cuck skin it's literally a hydrogen bomb versus a coughing baby dead race I feel like I feel like dead race would be good because their race is kind of dying out mmm fuck I think we might have to collaborate with the white man to figure out what truly gets under their skin yeah who would be that white man maybe like a shane dog it's a long shot Shane Dawson Shane Dawson no I you know what I feel like he's a self-hating way he might actually do it yeah he has nothing left to lose his career it is his career that's who we need to collaborate with yo you're right probably has like a banger or white he has he's got a list at the ready I already know hold up how do I call how do I contact this guy contact you send him up on Instagram hit him up on Instagram hey we're trying to think of slurs for white people can you help us out oh that would be so cool if you responded and the next week we got him on the show to rank the the new slur for white people be so dope dr. Umar that's how my bucket was to get him on the show to meet that man I feel like we could do it we could try paperweight no see it's like you said what what did you say what was that analogy that you used on a J? you said it was a it was something versus a nuclear bomb oh a hydrogen bomb versus a coughing baby yeah that's that's what this feels like it feels like a massive uphill battle the n-word versus any slurry against white people how do you compete and you can't pink let's see fuck yo why is the racism for zipper head only at nine you think it goes up isn't it like a pretty racist term oh like the whole term race or racism I feel nine is already pretty high because remember like our scale is like one to ten and then anything that goes into the negatives is it's like insanely negative and anything that goes like above a ten is insanely racist like it it it tops the scale like it breaks the scale so a nine is like pretty racist you think you keep me an ape is a 20 in racism it is it is actually a 20 in racism yes I do think that one because the whole story is that an evil fucking scientist created white people that they're a lesser race and that they're a plague on the earth yeah it's pretty fucking racist you know you make a fair point is there a but no that's not like you're gonna continue now I was outclass there that's price has been going on for as long as he's had who Andre yeah Andre oh what about it thought he would have like shut down mid conversation like either started like talking to his mom or just forgot what he was talking about you said like five words oh I've started minutes man I've been letting you see no I think you've been fucking eating your boogers or something why do you always think I'm eating my boogers you seem like the type the type of kid who would I'm not gonna lie kid I know I would never glue like a kid you were probably a you were probably a mad a mad booger eater no I was more of the glue kid oh the glue kid yeah I loved glue glue sticks I would just chew chunks off of those what like like take out the stick as long as possible just just chew on it you know I feel like I could relate to that not because I did it because I feel like I would have been tempted to do it even eight crayons to hell no crayons I would never I never eat my writing utensils I eat I eat crayons but it's because I'm in a Titan in destiny is that just what you do yeah just that's any player in general yeah sounds like a blast are we gonna keep trying to go on with this white person thing or are we gonna go for the mystery category I think we could go into the the mystery category all right so for this week I think we were all expecting it we all knew what it was gonna be Jigaboo not yeah I'm trolling it's actually the n-word yes I had to look up a quick list of racial so yeah this is the slur the other ones a compliment this is a list of slurs dude holy shit like I don't even want it all the points are so like accurate to the fucking slurs so accurate yeah and it taught if we were to leave it as it is it would already top out the list so like I don't know I think everything about the mystery category this week is but perfect this is the perfect glass cannon especially if you're in a losing argument like that that end like button on my keyboard is completely worn out like it's not even there anymore yeah it's like just fade it away you guys know if you go into a comment section and you see like a black person doing some stupid shit on a post like you go into the comment section just the letter N just the first letter is enough for everybody to know exactly what you mean that's how powerful this is and you can't escape it you can't escape it it's everywhere everywhere you go you just type N and then they'll make a chain continuing it what was that story on that one like it was like the sales guy he went over to this black guy's house and accidentally said the hard R N word and then he was like oh I'm sorry brother didn't mean to say that and he was like are you fucking crazy and I've never heard that in my life I gotta I gotta find it it's the funniest shit ever was it the one out of school it was like a teacher I don't I don't think so I think it was an apartment complex oh the one that the teacher I saw that video that she was so funny like it was his white teacher and like a black kid was coming out of the classroom like dapping him up and he was like what's up mister and then the teachers like what's up my nigga he's oh no I'm so sorry I was like I could see mr. me and I was up you and shit like that yeah I feel like he would his little clumsy ass here this is the video I'm talking about oh this oh yeah I've seen me I've never seen this hello hey how you doing hey sorry about it yeah I'm Fernando I work with the energy we're a few doors down we're in 1845 okay so we do solar around here we're just coming around talking to neighbors sorry neighbors I apologize yeah it's so obvious he didn't mean to say it but he like basically just like stabbed the guy he's talking to dad okay what was he a racist like thinking it or you think it was a neighbor and beep I could see myself slipping up on those words maybe like if I if I were to see you Andre and I was saying the word neighbor I could easily see myself like that and did you see I was I mean like do you really look can you really blame him do you think he you think he was a racist that Andre I guess so I don't know no no I don't think it was you probably did slip up but how how do you slip that up like that I don't know maybe he meant he meant to say like niggas and he accidentally said it with the hard-arm because he was like thinking neighbor and nigga at the same time it's even then still it's such a powerful word like you could just that for dude yeah I was talking to what yeah he was oh my god that makes it dead died worse yeah look at his arm no he just walk the dude closes the door and he walks off that is so sad he's like oh sorry dude I want to put that as the intro the fucking audio to that okay he said we do solar around here we're just going around talking to beep and he clearly meant to say neighbors I don't know how you would fuck that up I don't know I I could see myself doing it but it is so unlikely I don't know but it still could happen it's so scary and you just do that right then and they ruin your entire career that's what that man did just ruined his entire fucking career yeah that's what he did I think I think we should change our our show to ranking racial slurs because there's some good ones in here on this list I found him on Wikipedia but alright hold up I lost one that I was that I was looking at but it was a good one they got honky they got another lame one honky yeah see that they got juboy juboy jungle bunny jungle bunny for black people that was the one I was looking at you got kebab for muslims Kimchi for Korean people okay see this one's so lame land land thief for white people oh what an insult using that one he mashing a white girl South Africans apparently that's very like you just like farted or something like you stink like that see imagine you say that you got imagine that you say that and then they just hit you back with niggly nigg nog this is so funny so I'm on I'm on N on the Wikipedia list of ethnic slurs right and then you go down to the N word and it's like twice the size of all the other articles and then all of and then all of them show like the location or origin where it's used and all of them are really specific like one of them is like Ethiopia or Ethiopia France Finland like it shows where all of them are used and the and where it says international slash world why that's how powerful it is yes thank you that's so funny mr. world one mr. world why you can never get rid of that word no you could censor it Pajee is but it won't be gone Pajee is a good one for for Indian people we should do a part two next week then Pajet it's a slur used for Indian men to make fun of their names oh biology biology yo this one's funny prairie n-word for Native Americans raghead sand n-word see snowflake for white people that's like so lame Andre yo you're good you're going bar for bar with a white person you call them a snowflake and they hit you with spear chucker I'm surrendering why are they so good at this I think years of practice I think the only race that's able to like to like to take the bullets and like deflect it off would be Hispanics but the tanks like that pierces the soul so they finally got us to kill shot yeah fucking fucking they call you a spook what are you doing oh my god these are so fucking funny you guys need to look at this list I think we're done for the episode though we we already knew what the winner was gonna be didn't we yeah honestly we always did you want to say the word these you want to say the word let me let me see okay so what do you want to say the word no okay not because you told me to enjoy can you please say the word because although you technically gave me the past it would sound better if you said it nigger that's the winner for this week we all knew that was gonna win so we're gonna say that the second one we're gonna say the second one for this week we should make a tournament slash porch monkey one second place and you could be an ape one third place and Kike was last place yeah Kike was last place we need a better slough for the slur for those kind those carpet munchers lesbians yeah do you know what a kike is yeah they're like a woman trying to be a dude right that's a die that's a duck oh my god you're serious is this happening babe what every single other word on this list is racial and you thought I just randomly brought up dykes out of nowhere yeah honestly you had an hour to ask about that I didn't want to talk about the reverse I thought it was it was kite to like kite it's okay it's okay that's it for for this week I was gonna make another spreadsheet about like I was gonna have one for like gay slurs and like like special needs slurs so maybe someday we will talk about gikes babe oh I hope we do yeah so all right well thank you for listening yeah that's it for this week we're re-ended on a banger of a revelation all right guys see y'all next week yeah check out our shit thank you for listening good bye bye maybe it's a bitch ass nigga (laughs)