Balance: Fostering Harmony with Technology
In this episode of It’s Not About Money, Matt and Charla discuss a significant issue in modern parenting: balancing privileges, like screen time, with responsibility. Their conversation centers on how allowing increased freedom, when paired with demonstrated responsibility, can help teens learn to manage real-life challenges.
Key Points Discussed:
– The Importance of Maturity: Charla opens the discussion by explaining how she doesn’t enjoy being the “fun sponge.” Instead of setting arbitrary limits, she believes in rewarding maturity and responsible behavior. This approach gives teens the opportunity to demonstrate they can handle the freedom of screen time responsibly, linking privileges with real-world responsibilities.
– Grades as Milestones: The hosts dive into how academic performance can be an early indicator of whether a teen is ready for more freedom. Charla points out that if a teen is consistently meeting or exceeding expectations at school, they’re likely managing their time well. As a result, loosening screen time restrictions can be viewed as a reward, with the caveat that if grades begin to slip, screen time can be restricted again.
– Chores and Home Responsibilities: Beyond academics, home responsibilities play a crucial role in determining screen time limits. If a teen regularly completes chores without reminders, they are demonstrating their ability to balance responsibilities. Charla explains that when teens show they can manage their household duties, it may be time to ease off the strict limits on electronics.
– Jobs and Financial Responsibility: Charla advocates for teens to take on part-time jobs to learn important life skills like time management and financial accountability. When teens balance work, school, and home life successfully, giving them more freedom with screen time is a natural reward for their hard work.
– Family Time and Screen Time Balance: Family connections should remain a priority, even when teens are given more screen time. Charla stresses that screen time should not interfere with quality family time. If a teen remains actively engaged with family activities, they’ve likely found a healthy balance with technology.
Call to Action:
- Download the printable resource from the show notes or blog.
- Reflect on how you currently address screen time in your household.
- Implement a system that reinforces these concepts, recognizing when expectations are met and correcting when they are not.
Connect With Us:
– Visit Charla’s blog: [Beyond Personal Finance Blog](https://beyondpersonalfinance.com/our-blog)
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– Learn more about our products: [Beyond Personal Finance](https://beyondpersonalfinance.com/)
The post Fostering Harmony with Technology appeared first on Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network.
Welcome to "It's Not About Money" hosted by my parents, Matt and Charlie McKinley, and produced by the Ultimate Homeschool Podcast Network. This podcast is all about helping parents raise responsible and ready adults through insightful parenting advice that goes beyond financial matters. Join them as they explore practical strategies, share valuable insights, and provide meaningful tools to navigate the challenges of parenting in today's world. Whether you're looking to instill essential lifestyles, cultivate emotional intelligence or nurture a sense of purpose in your children, Matt and Charlie are here to support you every step of the way. And now for today's episode. Hello, and welcome to "It's Not About Money," the money podcast for intentional parents. I'm Matt, I'm here with my fun sponge wife, Charlie. Fun sponge. Yes, my kids, they have this little shtick where they'll say, "Oh, and they're going to do something what I would consider stupid." And they go up, "Here comes mom," because, you know, like, they'll jump off the roof. For example, you know, I'd be like, "Hey, you know, what are you kids doing?" And they go, "Oh, here comes the fun sponge." You're the fun sponge. Soak it up all the fun. You're the fun sponge. Well, we are, I don't know the right magic to use here, is it excited, is it anxious to dive into a topic that every parent has wrestled with at one time or another. Rain time for teens, and I know it's a hot topic, and we're going to take a look at a new perspective, one that might surprise some of you. That's right. I'm not a fun sponge after all. That will be very surprising to everybody. Charlie, why don't you tell us why you think you're not a fun sponge, because we first talked about this. I assume this is really a fun sponge episode where you'd say, "No games, no technology for your kids at all." No, no, no, no. As I'm explaining to you, and I've explained to the kids, and now I'll explain to our listeners, "I do not enjoy saying no." I don't say no to, "I'm saying no just to say no." There is always a reason why I am saying no to that thing. I really try to guard my nose, because if kids hear no too much, then it waters down the nose that really, really matter. That's kind of what this is. I'd like to propose that under the right circumstances, you might consider loosening screen time restrictions for your teen. What? I know. I know. It's not what you usually hear, right? But if your teenager is hitting certain milestones and meeting expectations, it might be time to rethink those limits because we're raising adults, right? And adults need to know how to handle the freedom they have with technology, because when they walk out your door and they've got technology, if they've not been given some freedom, then they're going to go from nothing to everything, and that chasm is too wide, right? I got it. That's a pretty powerful thought, right? Like, I'm old enough that when I went to college, I didn't have lots of electronics to get in my way. But I can imagine if I've lived in a family that's had really tight restrictions around internet and television, et cetera, and I go off to college two hours away, and I've got a phone and a computer and a game system, I can really lose the balance in the work-life electronics balance thing. Right. I remember, y'all. This is, I'm so old, I remember at college, I went into the computer lab and to write, to type up my paper that I was writing, and instead I stumbled onto solitaire. You played solitaire your whole life with actual cards, right? And I found it electronic solitaire, y'all, I spent hours in that computer lab on doing solitaire. Did you face the paper? I did not finish the paper. I don't even really remember. It's a tragedy. Charlie, you are case in point for why we need to let our kids understand. I know, I know. And instead of expose your toilet. Okay. That is correct. So what I'm trying to say is that even if your kids are going to go to a small school that, you know, may not allow certain things, your kids will be exposed to this stuff at some point. And so it is better while they are at home with you, for you to loosen some restrictions in order to teach a little bit more about freedom. Okay. So Charlie, as you're thinking about how to implement this for a family, you've convinced me it's easy, I'm your husband. What kind of things should we be looking for? What's the first thing a parent should say, hey, they need to hit this milestone in order to be able to have a little bit more time or access to their electronics? Sure. So if these milestones are examples, you know, if any one of these milestones does not matter so much to you, then feel free to, you know, not use this milestone. But for me, first up is grades. School is obviously one of the biggest responsibilities that teens have. If your teen is consistently performing well academically, meaning their grades are at or above your expectations, then that's a sign that they're balancing things well. They're getting their work done and technology isn't getting in the way of their success in the classroom, right? And that is what we're wanting, right? Because that is, for those kids that are going to go off to college, we want them to go off knowing how to balance technology and responsibility. So if they've got that one... All right. So the grades are solid. Right. You're saying we don't have to be as anxious about the ability to kind of balance school work and electronics. Right. Right. Right. They're able to focus. They're showing that they're able to focus. So perhaps, you know, let them and then just simply explain, hey, you know, and this is a way to reward them. Hey, you're doing really great academically. I'm going to loosen up the, you know, screen time and if your grades begin to suffer, then that's how you kind of know that'll be your measuring stick. But grades are just one part of the overall child's experience, our young adult experience, like what else would you suggest followed behind that? Right. Well, the whole idea here is that if they're managing their responsibilities, we don't need to manage their downtime, right? So there are grades, you know, school is obviously a big responsibility for teenagers, but they have responsibilities at home. And that is, we've talked about it a lot, being part of the team at home means that they contribute to doing things around the house, right? And it could be a big point of contention in families where the kids aren't carrying their wood. That's right. But if your team is consistently doing their chores without needing constant reminders, then that's another good indicator that they're capable of managing their time. Whether it's helping with dishes, mowing the lawn, looking after siblings, if they're holding up their end of the bargain at home, then they're showing responsibility and that's, that's, you know, what we're looking for. I got it. So I see where this is going. If you're responsible in these other areas, screen time may not be the kind of time suck monster that we're worried about it being. Exactly. It's about balance and accountability. If they can handle their work and their home responsibilities, maybe we don't need to be so strict with their downtime and, and the, and how they're using their technology. Now, I think you mentioned something about jobs earlier. So talk a little bit about jobs and technology. Right. Well, so as you know, I'm a big fan of having teenagers have jobs when they are at home, right? Because, and I have an entire blog on this. We talked about this in podcasts, learning to work, learning to navigate work is huge. So if they are babysitting, working at a cafe or any other kind of part time gig, having a job teaches teens essential life skills, right? Time management, financial responsibility, independent, if your team is holding down a job and still managing everything else, then they've proven they can manage their time well. And so in that case, getting them a little more freedom with their technology could be a reward for their hard work, just understanding and saying, Hey, they're actually juggling well, which is, you know, a big time. It's a life skill. Yeah. Because honestly, like jobs are a huge time commitment and it can be difficult to kind of balance a job in school. If they, if your kids have learned how to do that, then they're probably doing something right. Right. Right. If you're raising adults, we are looking to give them opportunities to learn to balance. Okay. I love this. So we've covered school. We've covered kind of home responsibilities. We've covered work. That's a lot on a kid's plate. And frankly, I'm a little bit selfish. I want to spend time with my kids. What about like family time that's, it's so important to us as a family. Correct. Right. What you want is for you to say, Hey, during your downtime, you can play video games. And then basically they just go to their room or the, the playroom or whatever and shut the door and you just never see them again. Right. Like absolutely know that teens still should be expected to spend time with their family. Whether it's at dinner or family game nights or just talking about their day, the connections with the family need to be a priority. But if your teen is consistently making time for family, you're not having to say, I'm out of your room. Like if they're, if they're around and they're not isolated, then it's, it's a good sign that their screen time isn't negatively impacting those relationships. And we hear a lot about how kids can get sucked into social media or technology or video game that, that world and become isolated. Because connect everywhere else. If you don't see that in your kids, if they, if they're not isolated, then let up a little bit so that, um, you know, as a reward and also just to kind of give them that just experience, right? Now, one of the things I hear, I've actually read some articles about this. I know parents are stressed about is like how screen time might affect sleep. Where, where's your head on the right? Right. Right. Right. If your teen is getting enough sleep and not being disrupted by late night gaming or endless scrolling, right, then they're showing a level of maturity, teens need their rest. And if they're maintaining a healthy sleep schedule, then that's a green light to loosen the rains a little bit. It's when technology starts eating into their sleep that we need to intervene, right? So I'm, I'm certainly not saying that, you know, like you, you can certainly put limits on, um, on the time, you know, where, like we always had a spot where, um, the, the phones or technology, everything went off at 10 o'clock at night or 11 o'clock on the weekend. So when she was established sort of those boundaries, um, then, you know, playing video games a couple of hours before bedtime is, is probably okay as long as all these other factors are there. Okay. Before wrap up, you mentioned something else earlier around like other interests outside of screen time. Talk about that a little bit. It gets really important. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. So it is important that your teen has hobbies or interests outside of the digital world. Whether sports or music are volunteering, anything that pulls them away from a screen and helps them to develop skills or enjoy life offline, if they've got those other outlets and they're passionate about them, then you can relax a little bit about their time online. Right. The screen is, you know, for unplugging and it's for, you know, kind of scrolling around and staying connected. I mean, I certainly have, um, a phone and, and I, I've got to learn to balance it. And so it doesn't have to be the enemy, it, it, as long as it's not their only source of entertainment. If that's the only thing that they turn to, then that's, it's, they're out of balance. Right. So this all makes sense. If they're engaged in life, they're handling their responsibilities. Screen time doesn't have to be that big, scary thing that we can oftentimes kind of worry about. Right. Right. It's all about balance. Rather than setting limits on their tech, right? Rather than just saying no to technology or just an hour a day on the, on the phone or whatever it is, instead of giving them these milestones, sorry, instead of setting these limits, give them these milestones and let them know that if they are winning in these areas, then you're not as concerned with how they spend their free time because they're showing that they're responsible enough to manage their time. And that is the true sign of maturity. Right. So look for maturity, nurture maturity and reward maturity. In that way, they'll know what to work for if in any of these areas, they're falling short, right? So that they've got something to kind of aspire to. Right. Traverse, I want to apologize for calling you a fun. That is correct. This did not go down the way. I thought, exactly. I am not a sponge. Okay. Well, we're going to wrap it up there. But we do have a visual reminder of these key areas as well as some ideas on how to enforce technology limits. Yeah. If you've got to have, if you've got to enforce limits, I've also got a few things and a few ideas on how to do that as well. And that's all found in this week's blog and the link to the blog is in the show notes. If you'd like the link to the weekly blog sent to each week, you can subscribe with the link in the show notes and you'll be all set. All right. Well, that's it for this week. It's it for this week. It'll be great parents. Bye. Thanks for tuning in today's episode of It's Not About Money. We hope you found our parenting insights valuable and empowering. If you've enjoyed the episode and want to continue exploring strategies for raising responsible and ready adults, I invite you to subscribe to my weekly blog at beyondpersonalfinance.com/subscribe. And also, if you have a friend or family member that would find our show helpful or entertaining, please share it with them. Thanks again for spending some time with us. We'll see you right back here next week. (upbeat music)
